Chapter Text
"But if you send for me, you know I'll come
And if you call for me, you know I'll run
I'll run to you, I'll run to you
I'll run, run, run
I'll come to you, I'll come to you
I'll come, come, come"
‘Old money’, Lana Del Rey
The butterfly he was chasing was astonishing, its delicate wings painted in splashes of crimson that shimmered in the golden light spilling around the boy. His frail fingers were stretched as he thumped his small feet on the grass, yearning to brush against the fragile creature, but it darted away, its wings shivering with desperation as it flew into the sky, farther and farther away, as if fleeing from something dangerous, from something that could tear it apart. His stormy grey eyes followed it, clouded with an ache he couldn’t name–his fingers still outstretched into the skyline, wishing that maybe, just maybe, it would come back.
Why did it flee so desperately, so fearfully?
He wasn’t going to hurt it.
Was he?
He did not desire for it to feel frightened.
Did he?
A sorrow stirred in his chest, tightening like cold hands around his throat as he fought back tears, it was a feeling he was strangely familiar with. The child turned, trembling, toward the woman perched on the swing. Her face was hidden beneath the wide brim of her hat, but her fingers beckoned him closer, soft and deliberate.
Her smile.
That smile.
It was familiar.
He ran toward her, his small feet barely brushing the earth, but the sound of an angelic voice calling his name stopped him in his tracks. He turned, his dark curls dancing in the breeze, and saw the butterfly again. Its bloodstained wings beat frantically, carrying it higher, farther, as if the very air around them was heavy with danger, as if that poor creature could feel the lurking malice around them. His eyes trailed after it as it desperately flew away, away from him and into the numbness of the sky, so far that his irises could not keep track of its silhouette.
Why was it so desperate to escape from him?
He needed it.
He wanted it.
“Taehyung!”
His head shot up from the mahogany desk he was laying on, which sometimes acted as his bed, when that well-known alarm started booming in his ears, making his head throb with pain as he tried to cover his left ear. He had always been extremely sensitive to sounds and, no matter how many years had passed, he could simply not get used to that agonizing echo. The alarm of the emergency room echoed around the room and it almost sounded like a trumpet. He left for the door instantly, despite the throbbing pain behind his irises and the deep beats of his heart, passing by some residents as he did so, not caring about their stunned looks and surprised faces as they watched him sprint like a madman through the hallways.
He used to be like that as well during his residency years. He'd watch more competent surgeons run around shouting commands and orders and he'd panic because, at times, he didn't know what to do either. As time passed, he learned what had to be done. Or, more likely, he was taught what had to be done by urgency, by need. Death was not one to wait and the people he needed to save were always, always, on the edge of a cliff. He had learnt that, in order to pull them away from that edge, from Death’s door, he would sometimes have to get close to it as well. He’d sometimes have to greet Death as an old friend, saluting the shadow that loomed over his patients’ head and telling it ‘not today’.
He wondered how much time would have to pass before Death got angry with him.
Before it decided that this mere human had interfered with its job enough.
That it was his turn.
As he ran through the hallways, Taehyung barked out orders, making sure everyone knew what had to be done. There was no room for mistakes, not for him. They all had to rely on instincts and their proficiency most of the time because there truly wasn't a guidebook on how to save a life, but Taehyung had found a loophole. Ff there was no guidebook, he would be the one to write one.
He only needed one page after all.
Do whatever you can to save humankind. That’s your only purpose.
That seemed to be the sentence that pulled at Taehyung’s heartstrings everyday.
Of course, surgeons, doctors, they had to own the knowledge to do so but Taehyung knew that only memorizing books wasn't the right path to becoming a prosperous doctor, not when he's seen so many gifted ones fail once they were put face to face with a real crisis, with a life that needed to be saved.
You had to be born for it, had to have the guts and the ambition to save lives to be a thriving doctor.
Once he finally arrived at the ICU, Taehyung was confronted with the reality of being part of that community. If Death was an old friend of his, then the people running around the ICU were his most trusted soldiers. They were an army of white coats and furrowed brows, of bloodied hands and glittering irises. If angels existed, those had to be them. Taehyung inhaled, taking a look at the mess inside the room, at all the surgeons doing their best, and entered.
The tension seemed to loosen as eyes were laid on him.
“He’s here.” Someone whispered on his left as he walked. “You’ll be okay now.”
Tightening his fists, he stepped through the stretchers and searched for the people that seemed to be hanging on a thread, right on the edge of the cliff.
There was a queue now and he had to save the one that was approaching Death’s embrace with fast steps.
He needed to find them.
The three people laying on stretchers were the reality he's been living in for years, the reality he's already got accustomed to.
One stretcher at the back of the room, where three other doctors were struggling to keep another human being awake–Taehyung put on a pair of sanitary gloves and headed there, ignoring the whispers around him.
"What's the situation?", was the first thing he asked, his eyes only focused on the patient.
Another man, a resident, stepped away after hearing his voice. When Taehyung looked down at the man on the bed, he noticed that the resident’s hands had been pressed tightly on the leg wound to stop the bleeding. It was chaotic and, from the look on the boy's face, Taehyung could tell that it was his first time assisting such a catastrophe.
Still, he took an intense breath, then replied to his question because that's what they were supposed to do—they were supposed to stay calm and do what had to be done.
"Car casualty.” Taehyung was already putting the pieces together as he started touching the man’s leg, visualizing the wound in his mind. “Three people were part of it—one of them was not badly hurt but the other two suffered more trauma. One has a broken leg and a few cracked ribs, nothing too serious, but this man was on the side of the impact." Taehyung nodded, examining the papers the nurse had provided him within the meantime as he kept prodding at the man’s muscles. "His ribcage was fractured on the right side and a bone punctured his lung."
The people around him awaited in silence as Taehyung moved his fingers up the man’s leg, searching for the point of impact, checking to see if the artery had been severed. It had. He then moved towards the man’s torso and he quietly moved his hands over his chest, searching for signs of organ failure. That wasn’t the case, but fluid was accumulating in one of his lungs. He needed to act.
“The artery is severed.” He announced, ignoring the gasps around him. “The lungs are fine. He won’t need surgery for that, but there’s fluid in his lungs. We have to check if it’s blood.”
Taehyung gave the awaiting nurse the statements back, then bent down, checking on the man's vitals. He sliced the man's shirt with thorough movements then slowly brushed his fingers over his ribcage to find the right area.
Ever since becoming a surgeon, Taehyung's always taken notice of his instincts. Perhaps that was the reason why he had accomplished so many things in such a short amount of time, why he had such a promising team on his side or why he never felt frightened whenever he needed to take action. Everyone looked up to him for instructions. He was seen as a prodigy, as someone who had saved even the ones that had no other chance. People looked at him like he was a walking, quiet, salvation.
Taehyung thought he was merely a human.
The others did not. For them, he was the quiet peace of mind that came in times of desperation. Such burdens fell on his shoulders, but he accepted them with care.
"Call Doctor Min and get ready for surgery." He told the nurses and residents around him, watching as they all nodded before taking off with the man on the stretcher.
After checking on the other two victims and making sure they were stable, Kim Taehyung walked towards the place he knew he belonged in.
The surgery room.
"Great job, everyone," He said once they eventually got out of the surgery room, bowing towards his team and watching as they followed his motion.
"It's your achievement, Doctor Kim. It wasn't even your shift and yet you took the lead in this surgery. Thank you." One of the nurses said, her eyes crinkling from above the mask.
Taehyung simply nodded at that before eventually turning around and leaving for the locker room to get changed. His first-hand surgeon followed behind him with sluggish strides but Taehyung was already used to his antics. He could hear his steps, loud and clear, a sign that he was always by his side.
After they both discarded the surgery clothes in a bin and changed back into their usual ones, Taehyung turned towards his colleague, and friend, with a smile on his face. He leaned on the edge of the cupboard and stared at the man, at his shriveled hair and his dark irises. He was a pale man and, on their first meeting, Taehyung had asked him if he was feeling sick, for he looked sicklish. He always had dark spots under his eyes and chapped lips, but despite that, there was a type of charm he carried around. He seemed on edge all the time, almost like he was expecting everyone to have a go at him and start a fight.
They were opposites.
"Don't you have another surgery in a few hours?"
Min Yoongi turned towards Taehyung, the mask that had been covering his face now gone. His lips rose in a faded smile, one that was enough because Yoongi never truly smiled, not after everything he's been through. If Taehyung was the epitome of joy and positive mindset, his friend was the opposite. He looked at Taehyung with such sorrow in his eyes that the surgeon sometimes wondered if there was more to those emotions than he was letting on.
"I do. It's the CABG for that nice lady in room 201. I volunteered to take the lead in this one."
Taehyung hummed, already knowing whom Yoongi was talking about. There was an old woman in room 201 that didn't have any relatives left beside her only son who happened to be a complete asshole since he never came to visit. Yoongi had become a bit too soft for her, telling Taehyung every time that she reminded him of his deceased grandmother.
Taehyung knew how much Yoongi had loved his grandmother and how broken he was for losing her, even now, after years. So he truly understood his friend's reasoning.
As they walked outside the locker room, Taehyung glanced at his friend, then put a hand on his shoulder.
"I know you'll do fine. You're a remarkable surgeon, hence you're on my crew.” The other huffed at that. “Believe in yourself and everything will go well."
Yoongi offered him another smile before taking off, Taehyung doing the same but in the opposite direction.
His shift was almost over and he couldn't wait to go home and catch a few nice hours of sleep. The past few days had been draining for him since he had taken part in emergency surgeries a lot. Of course, there were other heart surgeons in their hospital, but since Taehyung was the chief of their department, most of the surgeries were dropped in his hands, especially the riskier ones.
He didn't mind. Taehyung loved saving lives. He wouldn't have become a surgeon if he wouldn't have enjoyed doing that. But, at times, everything became exhausting.
At times, he felt like he needed a break from everything. Still, no matter how tiresome everything could become or how tired he'd get, Taehyung was sure he wouldn't ever be able to give up being a surgeon.
It was what he was best at and, every time he'd pick up a scalpel, every time he would look someone in the eyes and realize he had saved them, Taehyung would remember the reasoning behind his career choice, his mother's words.
"Humans are delicate, Taehyung.” Her lips curled upwards as she raised her hand towards the sky. “We never know when it's our last day or when a catastrophe will strike but we're still not frightened. Do you know why humans are not afraid?”
She smiled as she gazed at the little butterfly that had landed on her finger.
“Because there are those like us, people who give their best to save others. Humans are fragile, Taehyung, exactly like this little one here. Butterflies have a short lifespan, but who says humans don’t?” She stopped. “A life can begin and it can end just as fast, like a flap of wings or a short intake of breath. It’s fragile, like that, a human’s life. But there is something humans own that other beings don’t, Taehyung. Do you know what that is?”
Taehyung had shrugged then, too entranced by the butterfly on his mother’s finger.
“Faith. Their faith makes them strong. Become a doctor people will have faith in, Taehyung. That way, you will be able to protect this fragile path we call life."
His mother's words had stayed with him ever since he was young and he made sure to recall them each time he felt too close to the verge of the bridge. Each time the headaches got too far or his eyes burned too much from the pain, he would take a deep breath and think about those words.
His mother, even if she wasn't with him anymore, and her words were the threads that kept him bound to earth, the strings that kept him sane.
With a loud sigh, Taehyung took his suitcase, then left his office with stagnant strides, deciding to find the peace he needed in the stillness and vacancy of his cold and emotionless apartment.
Taehyung was on his lunch break, which was never truly a break since he was always doing something whenever he was supposed to rest. He was hastily studying the profile of a newly arrived patient then, but it was better than nothing. He could not allow himself to rest, it wasn’t what he was used to. His brain buzzed with too much information and, sometimes, Taehyung could sweat that not thinking could slowly drive him mad or make him malfunction. It almost felt like allowing his brain to rest for a few hours meant leaving it to rust and rot away.
He was currently on his third onigiri when someone plopped onto the chair ahead of him with the loudest sigh ever. Taehyung would have recognized that voice even without looking up.
"Did Doctor Min scold you again?" Taehyung smiled, finally deciding to take a look at the man on the opposite side of the table.
He was met with the familiar sight of a man who sometimes messed with his mind. Glittering eyes, almost childish and filled with innocence and joy, gazed at him from behind a pair of glasses, but that was not who the man actually was – that was just a mask he liked to wear. Turning his head to the side and gazing at a few patients with a smile on his face, the man almost looked like an angel. Taehyung could tell that it was just a facade, a persona. Park Jimin, one of the residents he and Yoongi were in charge of, was far from that. Behind his glittering eyes and smug smiles lay a troubled soul that was able to manage more traumatic events than most people Taehyung’s ever met. There have been times in which Taehyung had needed a helping hand during a difficult surgery or a traumatic ICU experience and no one, not even the surgeons with years of experience, had been able to stomach the sights. Jimin had, with tight lips and focused eyes, he had managed more than others will ever do. Those eyes were merely doors that hid emotions and such strength of character that it shocked Taehyung at times. Despite being merely a resident, Jimin was one of the most talented and intelligent people Taehyung's ever met, hence the reason he was on Min Yoongi's, and sometimes even his, team. His strength was something Taehyung admired but that was not the reason for Jimin's famous reputation.
He was Kim Taehyung’s protege.
Everyone knew he did not accept such things but Jimin had somehow been able to warm himself into his heart–and into Yoongi’s.
"He didn't scold me." Jimin finally answered, his eyes avoiding Taehyung's because of the embarrassment. "He pointed them out in front of everyone–residents, surgeons, patients. You know how embarrassed I felt, Mister Kim? I wanted to throw myself out of the window or have the floor eat me alive."
With a roll of his eyes, Taehyung set down his unfinished onigiri, then put the papers aside so that he wouldn't stain them with food.
"Listen, Jimin," after taking his glasses off and massaging the bridge of his nose for a few seconds, Taehyung let out a sigh. "we scold you and point out your smallest mistakes because we trust your skills and we want you to be better, to do better than your other colleagues. Do you see Doctor Min scolding someone else besides you? No, because they're not on his team, nor did they have the opportunity to work with the head of your department during a surgery. You worked with us, Jimin, because we trust your skills. Doctor Min doesn't point out your mistakes to embarrass you, but to help you evolve. You should feel honored."
Jimin's eyes softened at that, the resident dropping his head in shame as he played with his fingers.
"I guess you're right." Jimin mumbled, his voice soft as he continued playing with his fingers, his gaze avoiding Taehyung's eyes. "I'm sorry. I should feel honored that someone as good as him is willing to spend so much time on someone like me."
"Exactly. The others are not his responsibility. However, you are. You were chosen to be on his team so be proud of it, alright?" Taehyung smiled towards Jimin, then pushed an unopened onigiri towards the boy. "Next time he scolds you, stand your ground and be proud. He doesn't just go around scolding people, you know? That means he has high expectations of you."
Jimin took the onigiri in his hands with a smile before looking up at Taehyung. "Thank you, Mister Kim. I really don't understand how you can be so positive all the time."
Chuckling softly, Taehyung ruffled Jimin's hair before taking his tray and walking past the man. He had another surgery scheduled in less than an hour so he needed to prepare himself and also make sure that his team was ready.
Taehyung thought about Jimin’s words on the way to his office. Positive. Could he be considered that?
What did it even mean? Being positive?
He tried to understand that emotion but, as he thought more and more about it, a slight headache started making its way down his temples so he stopped. He stopped considering his emotions and continued walking towards his office – towards his purpose.
***
His pale and sickly hands gripped the edge of the sink so tightly his long fingers whitened, a few deep breaths leaving his lips as he stared at his reflection in the fogged mirror. There were dark patches under his eyes but Taehyung was used to that sight already—that wasn't the reason for his disturbed thoughts and furrowed brows. As he stared at his reflection, the doctor couldn't help but tighten his hold on the sink even more, to the point his knuckles started hurting.
"You fucking messed up." He whispered, his voice so low that he barely heard it himself. “You fucking messed up. You made a mistake. You cannot make mistakes.”
His lips were shivering due to the anger that was filling his body but Taehyung was already used to that, and was already used to the consequences of his mistakes.
Taehyung acted all calm and inspiring in front of his team and residents like Jimin but, deep inside, under the façade he put up, he was just as messed up as them, just as anxious, maybe even more so. A mistake coming from the head of the department was much more of a hassle than a mistake made by a resident so that's why Taehyung tried to avoid making them as much as he could. It was impossible, not making mistakes, he knew. He was human so he was prone to making them at some points in his life but that didn't help him, not at all.
In the back of his mind, a thought resurfaced, almost like it’s been forgotten. Mistakes are not to be made, not by you. He remembered hearing those words somewhere, from someone, but he couldn’t quite pinpoint the memory, nor could he see the face of that person.
Closing his eyes and gripping the edge, Taehyung calmed himself down with shallow breaths.
"You have three more patients to check on. Don't lose yourself now."
After standing in that bathroom for what felt like hours but were probably just a few minutes, Taehyung finally stepped out. A nurse from his team was in the hallway, probably waiting for him, so Taehyung put on his façade again and showed her a smile.
It seemed genuine to her, but it was almost robotic, that gesture of his.
"Mia, isn't your shift finished already?"
The girl smiled softly before handing him a package.
"It is but I wanted to give you some homemade onigiris I prepared. I know your shift will last a few more hours so I hope you'll be able to get some energy from them."
Taehyung, feeling truly touched by his teammate's gesture, took the packet with a large smile on his face, one that was truly genuine.
"Thank you, Mia. It'll come in handy once the hunger becomes too much."
The girl smiled, seeming like she wanted to say something else, but their conversation was interrupted by that well known alarm Taehyung despised.
It only brought bad news after all.
His instincts kicked in the moment the alarm started ringing so Taehyung didn't even bother to say his goodbyes before he ran off towards the entrance of the hospital, where a few ambulances were supposed to arrive.
The moment they did, Taehyung was left speechless. There were four of them and, from the looks the doctors inside were giving him as they opened the doors, it was a serious situation.
"What happened?" He hastily asked a doctor who was opening the doors to an ambulance.
Once they took the carriage out, Taehyung's eyebrows furrowed at the sight in front of him. The man pulling the stretcher noticed his expression, a sigh falling out of his lips.
"It was a street shooting. We don't know why or how it happened but these people were involved. They're police officers, all of them."
Taehyung didn't care at all about that so, with a simple nod, he took the lead of the first stretcher, then turned around to stare at the others with wide eyes. There were so many people out there, so many loud voices and sirens, that Taehyung was starting to feel dizzy. However, he needed to stay sane because those people's lives were in his hands.
"I need to know all of their vitals.” He announced. “Who's in the most critical condition?" He shouted over the voices, making everyone stop in order to stare at him as they pushed the stretchers on the halls.
As he waited for the nurses to tell him everything they knew about the others, they checked the person on the stretcher he was leading. He let another doctor push it before leaning in and opening the man's eyelids.
"Can you hear me?" He asked but there was no response, the person's pupils completely unmoved by the light stimulus he was forcing on them. After taking one more look over the man's body, over the wound on his leg, Taehyung hastily put on a pair of gloves and started checking the man’s leg. "This one lost a lot of blood and needs a transfusion immediately. He's going into shock right now. He needs surgery so call for the orthopedic surgeon in charge and for a vascular surgeon as well. His femoral artery is damaged."
After making sure the nurses understood and the man was stable enough to be transported to the surgery room, Taehyung finally moved away, running towards another stretcher. They were finally in the ER so the path wasn't that long.
This time, it was a woman who was panting heavily on the stretcher but at least she was conscious.
"What's her status?"
The resident next to him was trembling as he looked up and saw the Kim Taehyung everyone always talked about right by his side, but the doctor wasn't even looking at him. Taehyung's eyes were focused on that woman's pained face.
"She has no visible wounds but her heart rate is low and she's drifting in and out of consciousness."
Taehyung frowned at that, moving forward and opening the woman's eyes. Her pupils reacted, her hands reaching up and tightening around his arm.
"Can you hear me? Where do you feel pain?"
The woman looked like she was trying to answer but she was choking on her own words, being unable to talk or breathe properly. When she started gasping for air, her hand tightening around Taehyung's wrist, the doctor understood the situation.
Raising his head, he met eyes with the resident next to him. The man was shivering, which signaled that it was his first time witnessing a situation like that. Taehyung knew how it felt, not knowing what to do, being scared and panicking because there was too much happening, but none of them had the luxury of allowing themselves to let fear take over them. Those people needed them so, no matter how scared they all were, they had to act.
Death was behind him and he was patiently waiting.
"You,” Taehyung almost growled, his lips tightened as he gathered supplies and changed his gloves. “take a hold of yourself and look around. There's no time for us to shiver and cry. Crying is for the victims and right now, our victims are on the stretchers. Pull yourself together and," Taehyung took a break, getting his body on the stretcher as he sat atop of the woman and started the resuscitation methods needed since her lungs were collapsing. "bring me the defibrillator and oxygen."
The resident seemed to pull himself together after hearing his words because, in a matter of seconds, the needed devices were already by his side. Once the defibrillator and oxygen mask were next to him, Taehyung acted without waiting to give any explanations or further instructions.
His instincts were telling him that the woman had a collapsed lung and was going into cardiac arrest due to shortage of breathing so he followed his instincts.
He always did.
For a mere second, he looked up and met Death’s eyes.
Taehyung stuck his tongue out at his imaginary metaphor and went back to his purpose.
And as usual, his instincts proved to be true because, after he was done with stabilizing her, the woman simply breathed in once, deeply, then closed her eyes.
As he got down from the stretcher, panting hard and seeming kind of dizzy, Taehyung took a look around. It was still hectic so there was no time for him to rest. His brain was buzzing but the thrill was what kept him going.
His fingers twitched by his side as he stared at the chaos ahead of him and, for a moment, a smile appeared on his face, an image that seemed so out of place and disturbing that the resident by his side slowly stepped back.
Taking in a deep breath and calming the buzz in his mind, Taehyung turned towards the resident, deciding to leave him in charge of the patient behind him.
"She needs oxygen for at least 8 more hours. Run a CT scan on her thoracic area and make sure you have the blood tests prepared. If her lung collapses again, she'll need immediate surgery."
The man, who was probably as young as Jimin, bowed before meeting his eyes. This time, he wasn't shaking anymore.
"Yes, Doctor Kim."
Taehyung offered him a smile, patting him on the shoulder before running towards the other patients.
"Who's the one in critical condition?" Taehyung asked a nurse, watching as she pointed towards a male whose bed was circled by doctors and nurses.
Doctor Min was next to the stretcher, checking on his vitals and repeatedly barking orders. Once Taehyung got close enough, a few residents made room for him, which attracted Yoongi's attention. Their eyes locked and, from years of working together, Yoongi already knew what to tell Taehyung.
"He was shot in the chest.” Taehyung put on his gloves. “The bullet barely missed his heart but it punctured his lung and a lot of important vascular vases. His heart rate is low due to excessive blood loss and he's currently unconscious." Yoongi looked up, their eyes meeting once again. "He might go into shock soon."
Taehyung took a look at the man's vitals, then back at his bleeding chest, trying to piece all the details together. After a short analysis of the man's CT scan, Taehyung titled his head. The buzzing in his mind paused.
"This man's heart was damaged before he got shot." He announced, turning his attention to the patient and making sure that his vitals were stable. "He's not going into a normal shock. He's going into a cardiogenic one." After making sure there were a few nurses and doctors looking after the other patients, Taehyung finally turned towards Yoongi. "Gather the team. We need to perform surgery on him."
As Taehyung pushed the stretcher out of the ER, the surgeon failed to notice the distant eyes that were closely watching him, analyzing his every move and action.
Taehyung stared at the monitor in front of him, his brows furrowed as he read over the words and pages, the wires in his mind turning and turning so that he could figure out all the details about the patient as soon as he could. He wrote down a few details about the patient's vitals on his file before giving it back to the nurse.
"Give him the medication I prescribed and check his vitals each hour." He explained, referring to the list of medication he had written down. "If he goes into shock and his vitals go lower than this, administer a dose of magnesium and call for me or Doctor Min."
The nurse nodded swiftly, taking the file from his hands and watching him leave the room with hurried steps. After the man was out of the room, the nurse looked down at the file she was holding. It was filled with words, scribbles and calculations. In a matter of minutes, Kim Taehyung had identified the woman’s issues and had given the nurses the exact amount of medication she needed to take for the following hours.
She couldn’t help but stare after the man in awe.
As Taehyung closed the door behind him, he started walking towards the ER to see if his assistance was needed there. It was a busy day and he knew that his presence would come in handy in case something happened even if it wasn’t his shift. He had nothing planned for the following few hours and his brain could not allow itself a break.
Once he got there, he was immediately called over by another colleague of his from the trauma department. Doctor Jung Hoseok was a relatively new colleague but he was experienced and Taehyung trusted him as much as he trusted himself—he had seen the man save people even he couldn't have saved. As skilled as he was, Taehyung's area of work focused on a person's heart and lungs whereas Hoseok's had no limits. Taehyung wouldn’t have been able to repair a femoral artery or stitch up a woman’s finger. Still, Hoseok had skills none of them possessed and Taehyung knew it was not a thing to be proud of – those skills were gained only with experience, which meant that Hoseok had been through a lot of traumatic events.
"Doctor Kim, please take a look at this patient.” The man asked, his brows furrowed as he looked at him. “I believe that going into surgery right now is a risk but I wanted to hear your opinion before making a decision."
Taehyung nodded, gazing at Hoseok’s scared face before he took the file from his hands, carefully reading over the data written there. Indeed, that person had been suffering from a heart disease for more than twenty years and they were currently on medication — going into surgery without allowing his blood to clear up was indeed risky and Hoseok was aware of that.
"He's not in a critical condition right now so you can just stabilize him and observe his vitals for 48 hours.” Taehyung explained. “Going into surgery now is out of the question since he's still on medication."
Hoseok nodded, then wrote down a few words on the file before offering it to the nurse.
"You heard Doctor Kim. I'll check on him later."
Taehyung was about to turn around and check if his help was needed with another patient when Hoseok caught up with him, a large smile present on his face.
"So, how's your day going, Doctor Kim?" The man asked as they both made sure all the patients in the ER were stable.
Only one was in a worsening condition but Taehyung could see Yoongi talking to another doctor by his bed so he knew that the man was in good hands.
"You know, the usual. Stressful to say the least." Taehyung smiled towards a nurse who had greeted him, then took a turn, heading towards the cafeteria. "I certainly need coffee and something to eat. Would you like to accompany me?"
Hoseok nodded, saying that he was on his way to the cafeteria anyway since he hadn't eaten anything that day at all. They walked in comfortable silence, none of them in the mood for small talk since they were probably both exhausted to the point they could just lay on the floor and sleep.
Once they reached the cafeteria, Taehyung noticed that something was different that day. Not many people besides the staff and the relatives of their patients visited that place and it was usually not crowded at all. However, as soon as they walked in, Taehyung could notice that something was different that day because, at one of the more secluded tables, there was a man. Now, Taehyung would have ignored his presence on any other day, but the sight of him made the surgeon frown. There was something peculiar about him. He was dressed in a striking red suit and there was a cup of coffee which seemed untouched laying in front of him. What made Taehyung’s skin prickle with curiosity was the man’s gaze – it was fixed on him.
Around him, three more people who were certainly personal guards, stood and watched everyone with furrowed brows and intimidating eyes.
Taehyung shook his head and tried not to think too much of it, believing that maybe he was someone related to a patient or just someone visiting their hospital. He simply shrugged it off, then walked towards Hoseok, who was already ordering. The girl behind the desk bowed politely once she noticed him, a gesture Taehyung returned.
"Good morning, mister Kim. The usual?" She asked in a friendly manner, making Taehyung's day a tiny bit better.
She was such a kind person that Taehyung sometimes found himself going to the cafeteria only to have a chat with her. He had known her for years and he, by then, probably knew her whole life story. Through the years, they've become so close that Taehyung sometimes even treated her to meals and helped her with her studies — she was a med student, a bright one at that.
Her joyful persona was a breath of fresh air in Taehyung’s life. Everything around him was either dead, dying or on the brink of Death. He was surrounded by traumatic events and loneliness and, even if he liked to think he was not affected, he could not lie to himself all the time.
Taehyung didn't have a sister but if he were to have one, Nayeon would probably be his little sister.
"Good morning, Nayeon. I told you to stop calling me mister. It makes me feel older than I actually am." He looked over the menu on the screens above them, deciding to go for something different that day. "I'll have an americano and a turkey sandwich."
He and Hoseok then walked over to a nearby table, knowing that Nayeon was going to bring them their order and probably sit with them for a bit. She always carried a book with her and made sure to ask them things she couldn't understand.
She reminded Taehyung of himself, back when he used to be a med student, running after his teachers and superiors so that he could ask them questions. He used to argue with them at times.
"So," Hoseok started, making Taehyung's focus go back to him. "what's your schedule for this weekend? You're free, right?"
"Yea, it's been months since I've had a weekend for myself." Taehyung stared at the piece of paper he was currently folding, a habit he had created after becoming a surgeon—his hands could never stay still. "I think I'll just relax and get the best of it."
With a deep sigh, Hoseok let himself fall deeper into the comfortable chair. "Man, I wish I could have a weekend to myself. I'd hit a club as soon as my shift ended."
Conversation with Hoseok was always easy. The man was bright and sociable, unlike Taehyung, who sometimes found it difficult to communicate with other people. He's been buried in books all his life so conversation didn't come as naturally to him.
"Clubs aren't for me, I guess." He mumbled, letting the now little origami swan fall onto the table.
When he raised his head, he noticed that Hoseok's eyes were focused on it as well. "You always leave those around. They're everywhere, I swear."
Letting out a low chuckle, Taehyung did just that, making sure the swan sat confidently on top of the tissue dispenser.
They talked for a few more minutes, mentioning details about some common patients or certain important events that were coming up, until Nayeon finally walked towards their table with a tray in her hand. As expected, she sat down next to Taehyung, setting a book Taehyung knew too well on the table as well.
"Is it alright if I ask you to help me with some things?" She asked, as she always did even if Taehyung assured her that it was indeed, quite alright.
He enjoyed helping her and, from his caring nature, he was sure Hoseok did as well.
"Of course. Which lecture is it about?"
Nayeon opened her overly colored book, making Taehyung smile in the slightest way, then pointed towards the title. Taehyung leaned in in order to see better, a smile spreading across his face.
"Oh, you're right in my territory then." He said as he read over the page. "Have you been thinking of becoming a surgeon, Nayeon?"
The girl nodded, confidently, which proved Taehyung's theories. Nayeon, in the future, would become a great surgeon. She was an extremely intelligent girl.
"I have. We studied a special case in the past few days and I have a few questions. It's merely my curiosity speaking."
"Go ahead then." Hoseok was the one to talk now, his curiosity spiked as well. "Ask away."
"This patient..” Nayeon fidgeted with the corner of the page, looking more nervous than she usually was. “he had a condition and needed a heart transplant but, at the same time, he couldn't get one because of certain factors. He had another condition which affected his lungs. We were asked what we would do in this situation." Nayeon then turned towards Taehyung, eyeing him curiously. "What would you do, mister Kim? How would you save a person that cannot be saved?"
There was a pause for a few seconds, one in which Taehyung slowly pondered over the question. His min buzzed and, for a mere second, something burned in the back of his head, making him tighten his fists under the table. His head hurt at times, but he had got used to it during the years.
How would you save someone that doesn’t want to be saved?
"Well,” Taehyung smiled, inhaling as he tried to ease the burning pain in his mind. “everyone can be saved.” He exhaled, letting the ache lessen. “It depends on what condition we are talking about but, nonetheless, I'd choose to perform a heart-lung transplant."
Nayeon's eyes widened comically at his answer and Taehyung could hear Hoseok choke on his drink as well.
"Isn't that surgery extremely difficult?” Hoseok asked. “I heard it has a low survival rate. I think it’s illegal in some countries."
Taehyung nodded, because it indeed was extremely difficult and exhausting — both for the surgeon and the patient. However, if performed by the right hands, it could be a success.
He was on the verge of answering when he noticed that the man he had seen earlier was now staring directly at them from under his framed glasses. Once he noticed that Taehyung's attention was on him, the man smiled, then raised his cup of coffee in greeting. After nodding in acknowledgment, Taehyung moved his attention back to Nayeon, who was watching the men behind her as well.
"It is difficult and exhausting but it's probably the best scenario in this case of yours."
As she turned around, Nayeon gulped and closed her book. "Have you ever performed one, mister Kim?" Nayeon asked, her furrowed brows slowly relaxing once her back was turned to the man behind her.
Taehyung checked his watch, realizing his break was almost over and he hadn't even started eating yet.
"I've performed three.” He stated. “All of them have been quite successful. Two of them were the main reason why I'm now the head of my department."
Nayeon seemed content with his answer so, after thanking them both, she walked away. As she slid back behind the counter, Taehyung noticed that the man from the other table was getting up as well, preparing to leave.
He bowed towards him once he met his eyes, but Taehyung failed to notice the satisfied smile on his face or the way his irises searched Nayeon’s face as he bowed towards her.