Work Text:
Anyone who knew Jing Yuan would tell you that he was a very keen and observant man. It could be a miniscule change— a trim of your hair, a different perfume, your coffee order— he always noticed it. Some people found it endearing, while others found it impressive. After all, it was a nice gesture, wasn’t it? To be so clued into your friends that you can find the most minute of differences in their day to day?
Many would think so, but those who did never seemed to realize the man’s borderline obsession with being correct, with knowing every last detail, with feeling comfort in the concept of knowing others.
It wasn’t like he meant to do the things he did, they were merely a matter of circumstance.
Ren had been his roommate for over a year now. They spoke to each other, bickered often, and found a status quo in arguing and making up over shared dinners.
Ren was a creature of habit, someone who did the same thing every day with no real reason behind it, other than routine lending itself to comfort.
Jing Yuan liked that.
It made Ren predictable, easy to read. Even if he was aloof, and he was for the most part, Jing Yuan could tell his mood based on the subtlety of his actions. A click of the tongue… uncharacteristic. Sitting closer to Jing Yuan while they drank with friends… uncharacteristic. Smiling softly when Jing Yuan brought him something to eat, despite his assertions that he didn’t need to eat, that he only needed inspiration… uncharacteristic. Eyeing Jing Yuan longer than he ought to… uncharacteristic.
He could sense the change. It was gradual, something that burned like a wooden wick, flickering and dancing as it reduced to ash slowly.
Internally, Jing Yuan often felt amused at the way Ren seemed to resemble a scared cat… coaxed by gentle actions and food. He was like that, wasn’t he?
The night had been long, he’d been summoned to a casual meeting after work with his boss. Before he knew it, they’d burned the midnight oil into the wee hours of the morning with neither of them noticing. Bidding adieu, Jing Yuan found his way home and upon entering, he kicked off his shoes like he always did, and perhaps out of habit he turned his head and mused at the way Ren slumped over his tablet. Maybe he was designing some great new thing that came to him in a vision (or something like that). He often whittled away the night like that, completely in his own world and ignoring everyone around him. It was endearing, but worrisome all the same.
Starving artists were called that not because they starved themselves on purpose, right?
“Ren,” Jing Yuan said as he carried over some bao buns he’d brought home with him, not unlike an offering. After all, he knew that Ren would still be exactly where he’d left him. “You need to eat something, you know?”
Ren ignored him for a moment before taking a deep sigh and turning in his seat to eye Jing Yuan with feigned derision.
Jing Yuan mused how Ren never used to pay attention to his words so easily.
“How do you know I haven’t eaten already?” Ren asked with a furrowed brow, unimpressed.
Jing Yuan paused and gave him a hard look. Both of them knew very well Ren’s self-destructive habits, the way he would push off meals to chase inspiration and productivity.
Neither of them said a word as Ren silently took the proffered buns.
He didn’t say thank you.
“It’s 2 AM and you’re in the same spot I left you in,” Jing Yuan said easily. “At least show me what you’re working on.”
He leaned in then, paying much attention to Ren as he did so. The man didn’t tense as he leaned in closer, hovering over his shoulder.
Ren shrugged half-heartedly as he clicked through some mock ups and half-finished designs. He took a bite of the pillowy white bun in his hand as he murmured, “Just some packaging commission a local company wanted,” he said simply. “Nothing too interesting, unfortunately.”
Jing Yuan’s eyes glanced at the artwork, but he spent most of that time watching Ren from his periphery. “I think it looks beautiful,” he said with a soft smile.
Ren groaned then, laying a hand on Jing Yuan’s stomach before shoving the man back. “You always say that,” he said with a roll of his neck, cracking his knuckles in front of him. “Never anything helpful.”
“Well I can’t do your job for you, can I?” Jing Yuan teased, reaching forward to ruffle Ren’s hair.
But he always did this, and as he expected, Ren’s hand shot up to shove him away.
“Don’t be a brat,” Ren said, swiveling in his chair to fully look up at the man before him. “Even this late at night, you want to fuck with me.”
“Technically it’s the morning,” he pointed out helpfully.
“Shut up,” Ren huffed.
With a mirthful grin, Jing Yuan responded, “Shouldn’t someone your age be asleep anyway?”
The stare he was leveled with could probably kill.
Instead of replying to the obvious bait that he often took, Ren waved at him dismissively and said, “Tell me how your… ‘business meeting’ went first.”
“Oh?” Jing Yuan said with faux surprise. “Is Ren-gege actually so interested in my personal life?”
Ren rolled his eyes and turned back to his tablet then, the light illuminating his face as Jing Yuan stared at his profile. Leaning forward on his fist and still not looking at Jing Yuan fully, Ren replied, “I’m curious what a meeting so late entails, more than anything else.”
But Jing Yuan could tell that this mattered a lot to him. The air quotes, the way his shoulders seemed tense, how he couldn’t look Jing Yuan in the eye when they spoke… Ren was an evasive man, but he was still easy to read.
“Hmm?” Jing Yuan hummed almost accusingly. “Do you suspect foul play?”
“Knowing you, anything is possible,” Ren said simply.
“Ren,” Jing Yuan laughed then.
They’d always kept their personal lives secret for the most part. Only in recent talks had they revealed tidbits about themselves. The process was almost arduous, really. They’d known each other in college but only briefly, and spontaneously reconnected when looking for apartments in the city. Ren had always been a deeply driven man with not much to say, but he was dependable all the same. Maybe he felt the same way about Jing Yuan and that’s how he agreed to their living situation.
Whatever the case, Jing Yuan kept his cards close to his chest until he felt the need to play them. He had been interested in Ren for the longest time, so, when he said the next part of his statement, he raised his voice only a little bit so that every word was clear.
“Don’t be silly. You know I’m not really interested in women anyway, right?”
He watched as Ren froze in his chair then, his drawing pen stopping its spinning motion between his fingers as the man took a moment, turning around in his chair to now look at Jing Yuan.
His expression… was confused, maybe, perhaps even stumped. His eyebrows drew together and he said nothing for several long moments before he finally landed on, “No. I didn’t know you were gay.”
Jing Yuan didn’t correct his perception. He didn’t tell him that he was queer, not gay. It would ruin the momentum of the confession. “I don’t tell many people,” he said simply. “But I don’t want you to think I slept with my boss to get my promotion.”
Maybe Ren would feel guilty, perhaps conflicted about Jing Yuan coming out to him over something so simple.
With a frown, Ren said, “You could’ve just said that, you idiot.”
And it was a few more long moments before he continued, “It’s not like I assumed that… More that I wondered if you were interested in her.” Jing Yuan watched as he tried to parse his words in a way that didn’t incriminate himself further, eyes drawn to the way Ren’s lips pursed and parted. “Either way, I don’t care,” he seemed to huff, “I’m not interested in women either.”
And just like that, Jing Yuan smiled softly, warmly even. He felt somewhat satisfied in knowing his line of thinking for this situation had proven correct.
Almost begrudgingly Ren said suddenly, “And congratulations.”
Jing Yuan blinked in confusion. Successfully blindsided. “Hmm?”
Ren frowned, as if he thought Jing Yuan truly was an idiot. “On your promotion.”
He fondly watched as those broad shoulders eventually settled with the weight of their shared confession, Ren getting back to his commission and nibbling on the pork bun he’d been given.
“Thank you, Ren.”
Who could really blame him… anyone would be curious, too.
If Ren really gave a damn, he wouldn’t have put his password on a sticky note on his computer– that was Jing Yuan’s thinking.
How could he not look… the little devil on his shoulder was practically begging him as his fingers hovered over the keyboard of Ren’s laptop.
They always flirted with each other– friends always do, to some degree, but recently, it had gotten strange.
They’d been out with their friends like any other night, grabbing coffee and sitting around a table talking about their daily lives. Someone started dating here, someone got a new job there. It was all very run of the mill as Jing Yuan sipped his beverage– something piled high with cold foam and steeped with sugar. After all, that’s how he liked his drinks. Ren was more of a person that appreciated the bitter, with a penchant for anything cinnamon. They were sort of funny like that… always complementing each other in some way or another.
As Jing Yuan listened to their friend Sam talk about her recent crush, some girl she’d met at college, he paused to laugh at the story along with everyone else.
But something completely unexpected had happened.
With a click of his tongue, Ren looked at Jing Yuan with an unimpressed look. “In your 20s and you still make such a mess,” he said, rolling his eyes as he grabbed a napkin from the table.
He expected Ren to hand it to him. “Not everyone is old enough to have had mandatory etiquette classes,” Jing Yuan poked with a wide grin, watching the way Ren frowned. He was so easy to anger. Half of his fun came from messing with the older man.
When he held out his hand between them, their thighs already touching as they sat in the booth with everyone else, Ren completely ignored him.
Instead, he leaned forward and wiped at Jing Yuan’s upper lip slowly, carefully, before pulling away and shaking his head.
He’d done it so normally, so casually, that Jing Yuan short-circuited right then and there.
Some of their friends noticed while others hadn’t even looked away from Sam, who was still talking with a rosy blush covering her face.
Kafka watched with a slight smile as Jing Yuan sat in stunned silence, Ren now focusing on the story being told and sipping at his drink like nothing had happened at all.
But Jing Yuan noticed. He couldn’t help but notice.
Ren’s ears were bright red beneath the wisps of raven hair that obscured his face.
So now he sat paralyzed in the present.
Was he a bad person if he went through with this? It was a breach of their trust, but it was… it was just curiosity, that was all. Jing Yuan was a person who wanted to know everything and anything he could– maybe he should simply speak to him, but the conversation… what would he even say?
It wasn’t like he was reading a diary– he was just opening the computer that Ren literally left the password attached to!
With a slight frown, Jing Yuan swallowed his uneasiness and typed in the password– something insanely easy that Jing Yuan couldn’t help but feel concerned for Ren’s cybersecurity.
The screen bloomed to reveal a normal wallpaper, something unadorned. You’d think this was some sort of test computer from Best Buy or something with the way Ren did nothing to personalize it.
Sitting on the floor with the laptop perched on their little coffee table, Jing Yuan leaned on his fist as his fingers moved against the trackpad. The browser was minimized, but when he clicked on it, it seemed to just be assets for his art program. They were nice brushes, different patterned ones that he could make something pretty with.
Of course, Jing Yuan wasn’t really concerned with normal everyday stuff, not when the juiciest part of this entire secret endeavor was right at his reach.
Ignoring the way his brain seemed to tell him not to, Jing Yuan clicked his way to Ren’s browser history, perusing it slowly. Google searches for photoshop assets, youtube videos, and more popped up.
And so he scrolled down further.
Slowly, it started to populate the little history field. Ren’s secrets that he liked to keep hidden.
The one that caught Jing Yuan’s eye was a google search:
Have feelings for roommate, what do i do?
When Jing Yuan saw that, he felt hopeful. How terrible was that?
He clicked on the arrow and saw the website Ren clicked on, an old answers page where someone replied:
Either tell them or keep it to yourself. Sometimes you fall for a roommate just because you’re always around that person. If you’re not willing to speak up about it, just let it go and try to get over it. All things pass, but you should really talk to them.
Jing Yuan could absolutely not abide by things if Ren simply “let it pass.” He’d rather die slowly and painfully than not hear Ren say that he liked him back. Was he just supposed to see the way Ren blushed in front of him and not do anything about it?
Letting out a pent up sigh, Jing Yuan scrolled some more. This time, he felt himself blush.
Having wet dreams about roommate
This time it was a little Reddit post with the following comments:
Wet dreams don’t always mean you’re interested. Maybe you should try talking to and dating other people?
Jing Yuan shook his head with a look of utter disgust. Absolutely not! Ren should know better than anyone that Jing Yuan could take care of him. He didn’t even care how outlandish Ren’s kinks could possibly be– if it meant he got to be with Ren, so be it! Even the concept of Ren dating around or getting to know other men made him feel a bit queasy.
But then he stilled completely.
Was he really jealous just because of some comment on a webpage?
His flush deepened as he read the next suggestion:
I agree. Is it really about your roommate or would any person help fulfil it? You should try talking to him for sure and see if you gel well.
But that’s the thing.
Jing Yuan already knew Ren would never speak to him about it. He was just so closed off and reserved– Ren probably thought the concept of speaking to him about his feelings was ridiculous in the first place. The only time they ever got particularly emotional was when they went drinking together, or if something was really bothering Ren. The main person who was clued into Ren’s emotions was his best friend, Kafka.
Truthfully, even Jing Yuan was a bit intimidated by her. She was a very smart woman, but her ability to get into someone’s head was impressive… impressive enough to be scary.
And Jing Yuan liked being in control, liked being the one who knew situations best– he admired her, but he was wary all the same.
All that to say that he didn’t exactly feel comfortable speaking to Kafka about it.
Brushing his bangs back, Jing Yuan resumed his scrolling of Ren’s search history.
Oddly enough, after a few similar searches, the webpages he visited changed a bit abruptly.
Before he knew it, he was looking at porn searches.
God, he felt a little guilty now– maybe this was too much actually. Was he a creep if he looked? Part of him thought so, but then again, he was so intensely curious that before he could scroll to the top and begin deleting his evidence, he saw some titles:
Fucking my roommate while he’s asleep
Sleepy girl taken by her brother-in-law
Creampie in my sleeping roommate
His face was definitely a deep red now as he clicked on the webpages he had investigated and deleted the proof of his visits. After a few easy clicks, the history page was squeaky clean– well, clean enough that Ren wouldn’t notice anything amiss.
Going back to the tab he’d first landed on and minimizing the browser, Jing Yuan shut the laptop with a resounding clack before he let out a long sigh.
He didn’t feel guilty, per se… He felt more confused than before. At least he knew that Ren most definitely did have feelings for him, but now he also knew some of Ren’s more intimate secrets. Perhaps he was in shock… He felt like Icarus. Ren had struck him more of the BDSM type rather than the somnophilia and free use type, but it wasn’t like he was dismayed at the discovery. Honestly, he was more interested than he’d like to be… Ren riding him in his sleep? That was something he wouldn’t mind waking up to…
Leaning into his hand settled on the table, Jing Yuan drummed his fingertips against the laptop’s casing. What was he supposed to do now? He guessed that he should just act normal and wait for Ren until he felt comfortable… But what if he ‘let it pass’? Was Jing Yuan really going to let this chance slip free? He had always thought Ren was gorgeous, a silent beauty with a strong personality. He liked that.
He liked Ren.
Jing Yuan stood up and took the laptop with him back to Ren’s room, placing it in the same place it always occupied.
He decided then that he would give Ren two months to fess up.
He felt more agitated as the weeks passed.
They kept having intimate moments like that time in the coffee shop, but now it felt unbearable with the knowledge that Jing Yuan had.
Of course, he indulged in teasing like he always did, but he had made it more egregious since his investigation.
Some things that he had noticed in the last two months:
Ren watched him more; whether it be his reactions, his comments, where he stood or when he spoke, Ren observed him more frequently.
For instance, not one week had passed since his initial investigation that he’d come home from the gym and a run. He liked to exercise after work to de-stress and compartmentalize his day. He had the dissatisfaction of being a pencil pusher where people came to him for anything and everything. It really seemed to wear him down, but he felt more rejuvenated after a good run.
Well, what were the odds that it was going to downpour?
So Jing Yuan looked like a sopping wet cat as he made his way through the front door, pulling off the shirt glued to his skin like a salve. Ren turned around at the noise of his arrival and mid-way through greeting him, Ren stopped speaking, eyes instead roaming down the man’s body. His gaze was unabashed and hungry, and truth be told, Jing Yuan himself felt like he was being undressed right then and there. That didn’t really help his appetite for Ren, not when the latter was looking at him so openly.
But Jing Yuan let him look.
Pushing back his soaked hair, Jing Yuan kicked off his shoes and said, “Sorry for tracking in all this water, Ren. It started pouring out of nowhere.”
Snapping out of his trance, Ren’s eyes shot up to Jing Yuan’s face. “It’s fine,” he said, biting the end of his stylus before setting it down, standing up hurriedly. “I’ll get you a towel.”
Before he could say anything more, Ren hurried to the closet and pulled out a plush towel, soft to the touch. Jing Yuan knew that this was too easy. “You’re so quick,” he said as Ren approached him, unfurling the towel between his hands. When the man gave him a confused look, Jing Yuan laughed, “Are you that excited about touching me?”
He watched the way Ren’s ears turned bright red before he balled up the towel and threw it at Jing Yuan’s bare chest. “As if, you fucking brat,” he said. “God forbid I don’t want you to get sick and then give it to me.”
And of course, Jing Yuan caught it easily.
Slowly, he dried himself off.
He debated whether or not he should take off his shorts and boxers too, just to get a reaction.
He decided against it this time.
“Yeah, yeah,” Jing Yuan said with a mirthful smile. “Whatever you say, gege.”
“Don’t call me that,” Ren snapped, sitting in his chair once more.
Jing Yuan scrubbed at his hair. “Why now?” he asked. After all, he had always called Ren gege. Part of him wondered if Ren actually liked it.
Ren was silent for a few moments, as if he were coming up with an answer. “It makes me feel old.”
Jing Yuan opened his mouth for a rebuttal.
“Actually,” Ren interrupted, “Just shut up for your own good.”
And he couldn’t help but laugh at that.
Similar scenes seemed to become their norm, but still no sign of Ren admitting that he liked Jing Yuan in sight.
It was frustrating. Jing Yuan did his best to encourage it– He started working out at home, would ‘accidentally’ touch Ren’s arm, hand, or thigh when they went out with their friends or ate together. Each and every time, Ren seemed to notice but never did anything about it.
He could try and make Ren jealous, but that could backfire so easily that it didn’t seem worth it.
And so here he was, pondering to himself on how exactly he could get Ren to talk to him. His arbitrary date was coming up and there was still no sign that Ren would budge.
He liked Ren, but he didn’t want to approach him out of nowhere… Maybe Ren thought the same about him and that’s why there was still nothing?
But the whole… ‘let it pass’ comment really seemed to get to him.
He’d have to do something and soon just to make sure Ren didn’t ignore how he felt and move on with some other guy. If that happened, Jing Yuan wasn’t sure what he’d do.
With a sigh, he took in the sound of rain pouring against the windows and distant thunder reverberating in the sky.
Well, he might as well try something even if the weather was shitty. Ren always liked this kind of atmosphere. It was gloomy, but comfortable he would say.
So, Jing Yuan walked up to the man’s bedroom door and knocked on it gently. He heard some shuffling before Ren eventually opened it and asked, “Yes?”
But he felt weak as he realized Ren was in a silk pajama set, fitted with tiny shorts and a short-sleeve top trimmed in black lace. It made sense that he was probably winding down for the night, and part of him felt embarrassed for intruding at all. Then again, it took everything in his body to pull his eyes away from the way Ren’s shirt was partially unbuttoned and showed traces of his chest.
Coughing into his fist, Jing Yuan said, “I was wondering if you wanted to stream that movie you were talking about. I thought we could order food, or I could make something. The weather seems right for it…”
The reading glasses perched on the man’s nose seemed to slide down before his hand reached up to set them back in place. It was cute. “Sure,” Ren said in a blase tone. “We can heat something up, you shouldn’t spend your money.”
He watched as Ren turned away then and grabbed one of his smaller blankets from his bed, wrapping it around his shoulders. “I don’t mind spending money on you,” Jing Yuan admitted, stepping aside to let Ren pass.
He heard a scoff and watched as the older man shook his head. “You’re too lax with your finances,” he admonished, heading towards the couch before sitting down. Long legs came up to perch on the edge of the sofa and Jing Yuan couldn’t help but ogle.
“Oh?” he said with an impish grin, “Don’t do that, Ren.” He came over and sat beside the man, leaning close to press their shoulders together as he said, “I might like it if you scold me.”
Ren’s face remained deadpan, but he could do nothing about the blush that spread over his cheeks. “Quit being annoying and put on the movie,” Ren murmured.
And so he did as he was told.
The movie was as he suspected. Ren was a sucker for romcoms, but he would deny it if anyone ever asked him. Jing Yuan felt ambivalent about them– after all, a good majority were rather formulaic. Admittedly, though, he was too preoccupied in the way Ren seemed to lean against him, felt his heartbeat quicken when he daringly set his hand on Ren’s knee and the latter said nothing in return. It was… comfortable, but terrifying. At one point, Jing Yuan let his eyes travel over Ren’s form, noticing how loose his top was yet again. He swallowed dryly as he appreciated the view he had, eyes roaming over the exposed flesh hungrily. Was Ren aware he could see his nipples? That he was privy to so much of Ren’s body?
Jing Yuan’s hand slowly slid up Ren’s leg, millimeter by millimeter, and Ren didn’t react.
Desire burned in the back of his mind and it took everything in his body not to push Ren down and kiss him here and now.
But Ren was focused on the movie. Maybe he didn’t even perceive their closeness for what it was? Yet they were sitting here, shoulder to shoulder…
He was frozen in shock that Ren didn’t push him away.
As the movie ended, he leaned in slightly. All he wanted was to kiss Ren, to make his desire for the man known, but Ren hurriedly got up as the credits rolled, not even noticing Jing Yuan’s interest. “I should sleep,” he said evenly, pulling the blanket tighter around his body. His face was a darling rosy hue that seemed to pull at Jing Yuan’s heartstrings even more. “I have a big commission to work on tomorrow.”
Jing Yuan took a moment to remember how his tongue worked. “I have work in the morning, too,” he said dumbly.
Only after Ren disappeared from sight with the slam of his bedroom door did he realize…
He blew his only chance.
It was only natural that he would groan and lean forward, scrubbing at his face with his hands. Was he really this much of a coward? Why didn’t he pull Ren closer, to make his want more obvious? He felt like such an idiot. Ren was right there, accepting his touch and letting him wander as he pleased, but Jing Yuan had been too much of an idiot to take the chance fast enough.
Even worse still was the way desire pulsed throughout his body. He was half-hard from just a little touching and a wandering mind… But he was too angry at himself to relieve the need. Really, he didn’t deserve to feel pleasure. He knew Ren liked him. He knew Ren wanted him. Yet he still stuttered.
Even when he laid down for bed, he stared at the ceiling wondering what went wrong. Did Ren know he wanted him? Was he nervous?
He wasn’t sure how long he laid there for. It had to be at least two hours… tossing and turning. What did Ren’s lips feel like? Were they chapped or soft? He didn’t mind either option… He just wanted to know what Ren tasted like, wanted to feel his body against his own.
The pitch black surrounding him felt suffocating, even as his body heated up.
What was Ren doing now?
Was he touching himself? Was he asleep?
Jing Yuan’s mind drifted to Ren’s searches and he felt his face warm up in response.
Was that really something he was into?
Jing Yuan didn’t mind… not really. He’d known people with stranger interests, anyway.
Maybe Ren was asleep.
A thought occurred to him then.
Something filthy, something questionable.
Sitting up, he smoothed back his bangs and opened the bedside table, pulling out a condom. Maybe he really was insane. He wouldn’t… he wouldn’t do anything if Ren told him to stop, but he needed to do something. Were they supposed to just dance around each other like this forever?
Jing Yuan got up slowly and made his way across the living room to that familiar closed door. His heartbeat thundered in his chest and somehow it felt louder than his footsteps did. Was he a creep, skulking around like this? Slowly turning Ren’s doorknob and making his way into that small space?
Ren’s room had always been somewhat ascetic, but messy. He kept the bare essentials within: a desk, his bed, and a wardrobe. That was really all there was, aside from scattered clothes on the floor. Jing Yuan was the exact opposite; cluttered to the brim and clean as a whistle.
But coming in here now, in the dead of the night while Ren laid asleep across from him? His heart was racing as he slipped that condom into his pocket. He knew Ren was a light sleeper so he had to be careful and quiet. He had to keep his touches soft and pleasant, or else Ren could wake up at the drop of a hat.
He closed the door behind him, turning the knob until it slid into place so that the door wouldn’t click shut. The blankets on top of Ren’s sleeping form were scattered around, crumpled on top of him in disarray. Ren himself was breathing evenly, arms on either side of his head as he laid on his back, moving every so often. He seemed a bit restless tonight…
Jing Yuan moved closer, careful to keep his weight off of the mattress so Ren wouldn’t wake up from the dip. Painstakingly, he removed each layer of blanket until he was staring down at Ren in the dark, still clad in that loose shirt and those silky shorts. Did he know what dressing like this did to him? He had to. There was no way he didn’t notice Jing Yuan’s stare… It was like he was toying with him on purpose.
Ren’s face pinched a bit as he murmured in his sleep. “Yes,” he seemed to whisper, his face turning to the side as his arm came to cover his face.
God he was so cute. Jing Yuan knew that he’d be killed on the spot if Ren didn’t like what he was about to do, but part of him was willing to take the chance.
With the gentlest of touches, Jing Yuan looped his fingers under the elastic of Ren’s shorts, shifting the waistband down until it slipped down Ren’s hips. His skin was so smooth and soft, his legs pressed together in a way that made him even more enticing.
Fuck, he was really doing this. What would he say when Ren woke up? It was inevitable– Ren would never sleep through this.
Maybe part of him wanted to be caught, wanted Ren to grab him, to hurt him. Even the thought of Ren lashing out made his heart beat a little faster.
Jing Yuan took in a deep breath, though his breaths seemed to stutter when he realized Ren was clad in a black lacy thong.
His mind was spiraling out of control– Ren wasn’t supposed to go anywhere tonight, so why was he wearing this? Jing Yuan did laundry for him once in a while so he knew Ren didn’t wear this stuff just because he felt like it. Did he expect more from Jing Yuan? Did he want to go further tonight?
With a renewed vigor, Jing Yuan slipped his panties down next, mouth practically watering as Ren fidgeted in his sleep and seemed to spread his legs apart only slightly. He looked so good like this. His hair was in disarray, his face so peaceful… His eyes drifted down to Ren's groin and he almost moaned when he realized Ren didn’t have a dick. Fuck, fuck… Was Ren nervous about Jing Yuan finding out?
Was his confession back then something that made Ren anxious?
But Ren wasn’t a woman, so why would he ever be nervous?
Jing Yuan slowly, so very slowly, sat on the bed as he pushed apart Ren’s thighs even more. His pussy was already wet, something made obvious by the sounds he made when he was spread open, and Jing Yuan couldn’t help but wonder if Ren had touched himself before going to bed.
Even picturing it made his mouth water. Did he think of Jing Yuan? Did he ever imagine them like this?
Biting his lip, Jing Yuan leaned down, looking up at Ren through his eyelashes as he pressed his tongue against the line of Ren’s pussy.
Ren shifted then, head tossing to the other side as his eyebrows scrunched together. “Mmm,” he murmured, fingers tangling into his pillowcase beside him.
Jing Yuan held his breath for a moment, praying Ren wouldn’t wake up just yet. At this point, he wanted to get his fill, he wanted to hear Ren moan, to make him cum.
He licked a line up Ren’s cunt and lavved at his clit greedily, leaning forward so he could suck it gently.
However, he didn’t expect the way Ren would arch into his touch.
It only encouraged him more. He was diligent now, licking and swiping at that bundle of nerves as his hands held the back of Ren’s thighs. He wanted to savor this man and drink deep of him, wanted to drown himself in everything Ren.
Jing Yuan tilted his head and licked down until he pressed his tongue against the outside of Ren’s entrance, pushing in teasingly until he eventually committed.
Ren whimpered, his hands coming down to tangle in Jing Yuan’s hair as his voice let out a quiet, “Yuan… Right there.”
Jing Yuan felt drunk, so very drunk as he did whatever Ren wanted him to do. He thrusted his tongue in and out of Ren’s cunt, indulging in how good he tasted. The hands in his hair pulled his head closer and Jing Yuan followed their movements until he was sucking at Ren’s clit again, swiping his tongue in teasing motions until the thighs he was holding seemed to close around his head. Jing Yuan didn’t mind holding his breath– He hardly cared at all as Ren arched into him again and moaned, “Yes, yes, Yuan.”
Jing Yuan’s hands explored now, trailed up Ren’s body until he was tugging at the man’s waist, pulling him until he was flush against his face. Even now, Jing Yuan couldn’t help but moan as Ren begged in that sleepy voice for more. He was so hard he could barely take it.
Just as Ren approached that precipice, his eyes fluttered open and his body shook with his orgasm. “Oh my God,” Ren moaned, thighs shaking and his back painfully arched as he came.
A few panting breaths were all that passed before he realized his situation.
Shoving Jing Yuan’s head away, he scrambled into a sitting position, legs still spread while his panties and shorts laid on the floor. Jing Yuan breathed heavily, his mouth glistening with the evidence of Ren’s arousal while his own was painfully obvious. “What the fuck are you doing?” Ren whispered in a tone that brooked no argument.
But Ren didn’t expect the way Jing Yuan would move towards him, eyes mischievous and hungry as he sat between Ren’s legs and murmured, “I know how bad you’ve wanted this Ren.”
Ren seemed furious, embarrassed. “I–”
But Jing Yuan was still high on the fact that Ren had moaned his name. “-And don’t pretend,” Jing Yuan said, “I know you have wet dreams about me.”
Ren was frozen in place before he raised his hand threateningly.
But Jing Yuan didn’t believe he had it in him now, not when he had already been pleasured so much. “You can hit me if you want,” Jing Yuan said, “I thought you might like this… I know you’re into somno–”
The thwack of Ren’s hand against Jing Yuan’s face was loud, something that seemed to tinge even the walls of the room. The younger man held his face, but stopped talking. Slowly, he shuffled back out of Ren’s personal space.
His mind was running a mile a second as he tried to make sense of the situation.
Maybe he’d been wrong the entire time.
Maybe he didn’t actually know anything.
Ice seemed to spill into his blood, turning it into a frosty slush as he sat there.
But worse than anything else was how that hit seemed to fuel the fire inside of him just a tiny bit more.
“You’re such a fucking idiot,” Ren breathed. He grabbed Jing Yuan’s face harshly between his fingers and forced the boy to look at him. Even in Ren’s ire, he looked gorgeous.
Jing Yuan was expecting another slap and braced himself for it, waited for it with bated breath.
“You had every chance to do this last night, but you waited until now?”
He opened his eyes and stared back at a blushing Ren. His knees came together now, blocking Jing Yuan’s view.
Ren let go of him before slapping him upside the head. The pain only seemed to stoke the fire in his heart. “And instead of making a move then, you decide to act like some… disgusting pervert.” The vitriol in his words stung. It was like Ren was spitting on him as he spoke.
Jing Yuan opened his mouth to interject, but what could he really say?
“You really are an idiot,” Ren said, eyebrows drawn together.
Instead of trying to explain himself, Jing Yuan decided he ought to take responsibility. Looking down at the bed, Jing Yuan nodded. “I’m an idiot,” he agreed.
He was half-expecting to be kicked out of Ren’s room, hell, maybe even their apartment.
But instead, Ren grabbed a fistful of his hair and dragged him forward into a searing kiss.
It was something painfully hungry, the way Ren grabbed at his body and practically pulled Jing Yuan on top of him. The younger man barely had time to think as lips moved against his own, Ren’s soft lips parting for him as their kiss deepened. It was all tongue and whimpers, groans from the both of them as Jing Yuan did his best to lie above Ren, his hands sliding down his body and massaging his sides.
The passion took any semblance of grace or elegance out of the equation, but neither of them seemed to care. Jing Yuan was too busy basking in the sensation of finally, finally kissing Ren, of exploring him with aching persistence. How long had he wanted this, really? He couldn’t even tell you. Ren had always been beautiful yet untouchable, a grumbling mess of a man who refused his playful touches.
But now here he was, on top of the object of his affections, his shoulders being tugged on as Ren seemed to beg with his body for Jing Yuan to simply let go and take his fill. His brain still couldn’t wrap around the situation, even as Ren’s slender fingers yanked at his shirt and pulled it up and over his head. The break in contact let Jing Yuan dive towards Ren’s neck instead, sucking hickies into it mercilessly as he ripped open that silk button-down, the black beads clattering to the floor next to them.
Maybe Ren meant to sound angry, but instead he let out a whimpering moan as he admonished, “You bastard.”
Strong hands came up to fondle Ren’s chest at that, thumbs brushing against the man’s nipples and relishing in the moan he let out at the contact. Jing Yuan felt like he was dreaming– never did he suspect that he’d be front row to something as enchanting as the sound of Ren being pleasured.
His own painful need was made more and more obvious as he ground his hips against Ren’s bare pussy as they tangled together. Even now, Ren’s wetness was seeping through the thin fabric and it was all Jing Yuan could do to hold back a moan. Shifting his weight, Jing Yuan let his hand trail down Ren’s body until his fingers caressed his pussy, indulging in the way Ren seemed to groan, how he spread his legs apart to give Jing Yuan more access. Christ, he was so wet already, the sound was lewd enough on its own and only worsened as Jing Yuan pushed his two middle fingers into the man, taking in Ren’s groan as he did so. Teeth pulled Jing Yuan’s lip between them, making the younger of the two pant needily as he started thrusting his fingers into the warmth of Ren’s cunt.
Jing Yuan’s fingers were so long, so big, that Ren couldn’t help but let his head fall back against the pillows as he arched his hips into the touch. “You’re so wet,” Jing Yuan whispered, kissing at Ren’s chest as he fucked into him. No amount of imagination could compare to how hot and tight Ren was in reality… The fact that he was even doing this to him in the first place seemed to light Jing Yuan’s nerves on fire.
With his free hand, Jing Yuan began pulling down at his pants, idly jerking himself off as he sucked at the sensitive bud on Ren’s chest.
Both of them were lost in each other, Ren’s fingers tangling into the messy mane of Jing Yuan’s hair as he pulled him closer, arched into him. He wanted more but couldn’t seem to verbalize it, not with the way Jing Yuan’s fingers seemed to reach so deep inside of him and hammer into a spot that made him see stars. It was so good and he’d waited so patiently, had been so well-behaved in his affections, and now he was reaping the rewards.
It was mind-numbing in the best way, even when he grabbed Jing Yuan’s wrist and shoved the man’s hand away. The look of confusion on his face was priceless, even as Ren quickly turned over so that he was on his knees before the man, he couldn’t help but chuckle at his expression. “Hurry up,” Ren urged, hands reaching out in front of him to pull a pillow to his face as he looked over his shoulder coquettishly. He felt so very exposed like this, but he could feel how big Jing Yuan was, he knew that this position would be rewarding.
Hands settled on his ass as Jing Yuan spread him then. It was a bit too long, and Ren could only swallow the embarrassment he felt at being ogled so obviously.
He heard the rip and tear of a crinkling package before a slick, somewhat cold sensation pressed against his entrance, Jing Yuan taking his time as he pressed his cock against his wetness before pushing in.
Ren whimpered as he pushed back to meet Jing Yuan’s length, indulging in the way the younger man seemed to fill him. “Fuck,” he whispered, spreading his knees further apart. It felt so good. He knew Jing Yuan was big, knew it would be good, but he hadn’t expected him to reach quite so deep all at once. The stretch was only a little painful, but how many times had he touched himself to this type of scene?
Jing Yuan himself was also lost in the heat, how tight Ren was around him, and could hardly hold himself back as he pulled back once more and slammed into the older man. Both of them moaned loudly, Jing Yuan setting a brutal rhythm as he leaned over Ren’s back, arms looping around the man’s middle and holding him tight. They looked like animals, lost in each other and chasing their pleasure.
“You feel so good,” Jing Yuan whispered, teeth tracing the shell of the man’s ear. “Do you like getting fucked like this?”
Ren’s eyes rolled back as he was shoved into the mattress with Jing Yuan’s weight, voice stuttering out of his throat as he nodded quickly.
Of course he liked this. He’d dreamed of it so many times already that it seemed to be the only thought that occupied his brain.
The hands holding his waist traveled up the front of his body, Jing Yuan’s fingers and thumbs toying with his nipples as he was slammed into. The sound of their hips meeting was something wet and animalistic, increasing Ren’s need even more than before.
His legs felt weak as the pleasure seemed to curl in his stomach, twisting and pulsing with each deep thrust. Ren arched his back even more, and perhaps noticing how close he was, Jing Yuan sat up now, his big hands grabbing Ren’s sides and forcing him into a painful arch. It was hard to hold, but the way Jing Yuan’s cock pounded into him was undeniably good, reaching deeper than it had before and making Ren’s toes curl. The moans coming out of him were messy and broken, something neither of them could recognize as actual words.
“I’m gonna cum inside of you,” Jing Yuan said then, leaning forward to grab hold of Ren’s headboard. “Do you want that?”
The way the bed squeaked and shuddered was obscene.
Ren nodded quickly as he felt himself getting closer, fingers digging into the sweat-soaked sheets beneath him.
But Jing Yuan wasn’t satisfied. “Say it,” he demanded. “Use your words.”
Jing Yuan placed his free hand between Ren’s shoulder blades and pushed down.
“I want it,” Ren bit out then, almost as if he were angry. Jing Yuan knew, though, knew that Ren was at the height of pleasure. He was so close.
It was only a few more thrusts before he felt Ren shake beneath him, felt his hips push back against his cock as he moaned loudly. “Yuan,” he groaned in a long, drawn-out way.
Fuck, even the way he said his name was so tainted with lust that Jing Yuan couldn’t help himself.
The pleasure had been building steadily, but now it threatened to run over as he fully sheathed himself and ground into the man beneath him. He was so wet, so pliant. How had they waited this long to fuck each other?
Jing Yuan groaned and bit his lip as he came, hands coming down and nails scratching against Ren’s sides as he pulled the man flush against him.
He stilled for a time as he came, wanting more than anything to fill Ren full. All he wanted was to take this condom off and watch the cum leak out of Ren’s cunt.
Jing Yuan practically felt dizzy as he slowly pulled out, rolling off the condom and tying it shut, setting it aside as he pushed on Ren’s hip to make the man roll to the side. It took everything in him not to fall against the bed in a heap.
They laid there for a while, simply coming down from their highs.
Eventually, Jing Yuan looked over at Ren, whose eyes were shut, his eyelashes trembling. “I thought you were going to hit me again,” he laughed quietly, smoothing back his bangs.
Clear, blue eyes peered at him from beyond inky eyelashes. They looked warm, yet held a warning all the same. “I should’ve punched you,” Ren murmured, “But you said before that you liked punishment.”
The joke he’d told in the past ran through his mind’s eye as Jing Yuan smirked. “Oh? Is that why you stopped?”
“Mm,” Ren agreed. “You probably enjoyed yourself.”
“And if I did?”
Ren stretched then, reaching over to flick the young man’s forehead. “About what I expected,” he said easily.
Jing Yuan flinched as he turned onto his side, facing Ren fully. “I thought you would’ve liked what I did,” he said, “I wasn’t expecting the slap.”
Ren frowned before his expression evened out. “I did like it,” he said, but before Jing Yuan could respond, he continued, “I just didn’t expect some bastard’s head between my legs when I woke up.”
He smiled once more. “I deserved it.”
“You did,” Ren agreed.
And somehow they seemed to meet level ground like that.
Explanations could come later.
For now, they both found themselves lulled to sleep by each other’s breathing.