Chapter Text
Liam is finishing washing the dishes up when his mam calls for him from the living room, he puts the last of the plates on the drying rack and trots over to where she’s standing in front of the still closed door, putting on her coat to go to work on the factory, he sees her purse on the coffee table and runs over to bring it to her.
“Thanks luv.” She murmurs, finishing butting up the coat and taking in her hands the purse Liam handed to her. “Now listen,” she places the palms of her hands on his cheeks. “You can’t play with ya’ mates today–”
“Why?!” Liam interrupts her, whining tone on his voice and she tuts.
“Yer grades have not been good now, have they?” Mam raises her eyebrows, daring him to interrupt her now that she’s officially grounding him after implying it yesterday at dinner. Liam pouts but it doesn’t move her at all. “You best make use of this weekend time to finish your homework, I don’t want Mrs. Thornton calling me after work complaining about ye’ again.”
Liam nods dejectedly, what else can he say? He’s pretty sure his mam is gonna employ the help of Mrs. Walton down the street in front of the park to keep an eye on it, to snitch on him more like, she’s got that planning look she gets those times she wants to get them out of the house when their father’s arrival is imminent and he’s absolutely pissed at everyone in the world. Which is more often than not.
So, in the end she leaves and Liam sits on the sofa in the living room not really wanting to do his homework. He didn’t even know he had homework, which means his teacher really did call his mam. When? Yesterday when he was off playing footie with his mates in the park? Probably, Liam doesn’t stay at home more time than he has to so he can sleep and eat and bathe. There’s nothing to do inside and outside the sky is blue and there’s hardly any rainy clouds, a perfect day of summer.
And Liam can’t go outside. What is a twelve year old boy supposed to be doing on the weekends if not to play with his mates?
He huffs, annoyed with everything at this point and sends the control remote far from him to the other side of the sofa, his eyes seeing but not paying attention to whatever rerun of whatever new BBC historical show is on right now that his mam probably watches.
He sighs out again, bored, when he starts to hear a guitar melody floating down from the first floor. Oh right, he’d forgotten Noel is at home this morning, not having gone to the construction site for whatever reason that he didn’t tell Liam, which he resents. How come his mate’s older brother likes to hang around them but Liam gets called annoying for wanting to even breathe near him. It used to be better before, when Liam was younger, but ever since his last birthday came to pass, Noel started to retreat into himself.
Well, what better time to reconnect with his older brother than today? He won’t be doing his homework anyway. It’s fun to annoy Noel anyway, when he gets the frown in between this eyebrows it makes Liam all giddy like.
Having decided that he quickly grabs the remote again, turns the telly off and quickly goes upstairs. It doesn’t take long to reach the room Liam shares with Noel, this tiny shoe box of a room where it already feels cramped and Liam has just started hitting puberty according to his own mam and the school nurse.
He opens the door to find his brother on the carpeted floor, his guitar on his lap and a weird looking fag in between his fingers. That must be the weed rolls his mate’s brother was talking about the other day, he said it was great to make you relax and Liam thought to himself what did he need to relax from when his family are a picture perfect one. It’s not like his da hits him too, none of Liam’s mates or their brother’s have sported the kind of bruises Noel is always left in every now and then, a couple of days a month.
“What?” Noel says suddenly, lifting his eyebrows in a silent question too, just like mam, bringing Liam out of his thoughts. He must’ve been standing there like an idiot just looking at his brother.
“What are you playing?” Liam asks, looking down at the, by now, worn guitar. It used to be pretty and shining when it had just been bought my mam a few years ago, but daily use has made it gain a few scratches here and there, some of them put there by Liam himself.
“Strawberry fields forever,” Noel says, placing the guitar by his side against the bed oh so carefully. “Nothing good on the telly?” He speaks then takes another drag of the joint, still sitting crosslegged on the carpet, looking up at Liam. He’s been analysed right now, Liam knows all of Noel’s expressions, and the one he has on right now means he’s got a few things in mind regarding his little brother. Liam just hopes that doesn’t mean he’s gonna throw him out the room.
“It's just the same thing I've already seen, and that weird show mam likes.” Liam sighs, coming to sit besides Noel, coming to the conclusion that he won’t throw him out.
“The people talking all posh and that?” Noel says, moving his hand around, making the smoke move around his pretty hand.
“Yeah.” Liam licks his lips, thinking about asking what song it was that he was strumming about but curiosity wins over it. He points at Noel’s hands and asks. “What is that? It don’t look like a fag.”
Noel laughs and puts an arm around Liam’s shoulder, looking at him with his head tilted a little, eyes all crickled and that. Liam loves when his eyes do that. "It's adult stuff,” Noel says, ruffling Liam’s hair. “Nothing for babies like you.”
Liam shrugs his arm off. “I’m no fucking baby, you cunt.” He swears to prove his point. He’s not a baby anymore. He’s not, he turned twelve and his voice is already dropping, he’s taller than most boys in his year already. And he’s not even in primary school anymore. “Tell me what it is, Noel.” He asks, and he’s not whining.
Noel seeks something in his face, looking at him up and down his face before his face clears. “It’s weed.” He confirms Liam’s suspicions, bringing his hand in between them, Liam looks at the dark green colour and the whitish wrapper. “I’d let you have a hit but I think you’ll pass out or summat shit like that.”
Liam whines this time, proper like, as he done it when he was a baby, maybe then Noel would reconsider somehow and moves to sit closer to him. He feels Noel’s fingers touching the bare skin of his waist, and his eyes look down at them. “Cool shirt.” Liam’s older brother murmurs, taking another drag.
He looks down at it, the Beatles yellow submarine graphic all peeled already. It’s bigger on him than it was on Noel. “I stole it from you.” He responds and looks up at Noel again, who looks almost bored, the white of his eyes red. He asks as if he didn’t know, probably saw him taking it out of his side of the closet. “I won’t pass out. Share with me please?” He leans into Noel’s personal space.
“Alright,” Noel says, scooting over to sit closer to Liam, holding the joint in front of his mouth. “But don’t be complaining if it’s too much.”
Liam looks from the joint in his brother’s hands and to his expectant face, he’s not gonna chicken out now, but the longer he looks at it the more he wonders about the proper way to do it. Liam hasn’t ever smoked a fag either, so if he doesn’t do it properly Noel might make fun of him and call him names. He should just do it, not really think that much about it.
He puts his lips on the side Noel holds to him and sucks. One of his mates older brother once said that you had to hold the smoke in your lungs but how do you do that really? It makes him cough and he looks up to see Noel’s reaction. Oh, he's going to call him a baby now.
“Yeah, no,” Noel laughs. “You did it all wrong. If you do it like that you're wasting it. Try again, alright. Put your mouth on it, big deep breath and then hold it.”
Noel pokes Liam's lip with the joint and he does it again. Taking a deep breath and holding it there just like what his older brother said. His chest feels weird, pretty warm and he holds it for a few seconds, he doesn't know for how long you have to do it so he just lets it go when he can't breathe anymore. “How did I do?” He looks back up at Noel again.
“Good,” Noel says quickly. Liam tilts his head, watching his face carefully. He likes to do that since Noel doesn’t really talk that much. When nothing he said landed well with their father he just got silent, his expressions and his eyes and his eyebrows saying everything he wanted to say. His eyes right now aren’t on Liam’s face anymore but on his body. “I want my shirt back,” Noel says matter-of-factly and takes another hit himself.
Liam fidgets with the hem of the shirt, he’s starting to feel a bit woozy but he can’t show that to Noel, not yet. He blinks rapidly as he thinks because how embarrassing would it be if he falls asleep after one hit? Why does he even want the shirt now? He wasn’t even using it for a long time before Liam took it in the first place, it lived at the bottom of his closet and Liam’s clothes were all dirty or in the wash at the time. Well but if he wants it so much then he should give it back now. Deciding that he takes the shirt off and puts the shirt in Noel's lap, looking up at his brother's face expectantly.
But Noel doesn’t even look at the shirt, he scoots even closer if it could be possible, their thighs are even touching. Liam looks at it and the difference in colour, Liam’s are so tan from playing outside in the sun and his looks so pale from sitting inside playing his guitar too much. Noel puts an arm around Liam again, handing him the joint with his other hand. “One more time for me? Big boy?” he asks, smiling at him.
Liam does what Noel says, looking down at his hand, it looks really big on his fingers but it didn’t when he was holding it. He takes another hit, looking directly at his big brother’s face. He doesn’t cough this time either but the effects feel instant, in the way his eyes want to drop and close, he's keeping them open from pure sheer will but it all starts to feel like they’re underwater, the sound of the neighbours playing outside sounding even more far. Noel’s arm on his back making him tingle.
“Are you tired lad?” Noel says, getting up slowly, but not before letting his hand run up Liam’s neck and brushing his fingers through his hair in one quick motion. “It always makes me a little tired too.” Then, standing up, he looks down at Liam, like he’s thinking very hard about something. Then he sighs and holds out his hand to him. “Come on, sleepyhead. The bed's comfier.”
He takes Noel’s hand and tries to swiftly stand up but it's harder than he thought it‘d be, when he does he crawls in Noel's bed after him and over him, resting his ear against his heart, hearing it beating. He even thinks he can feel it beat inside of him too.
This position he’s in it’s the same position Liam takes every time he’s got a nightmare, but he doesn’t stay there for too long since Noel starts to move, scoots up further up the bed, so he's leaning against the headboard with his back. Next Noel grabs a hold of Liam’s hair, which the boy himself really likes, it relaxes him even further, as if the weed wasn’t doing that already.
He closes his eyes for what he swears it’s two seconds, he’s so relaxed in fact, that it feels like maybe he actually fell asleep because it feels like when he starts dreaming, like one of those times when he can clearly see his dream, and knows he’s in a dream and can sort of manipulate what’s going on inside of it. Noel’s hand and fingers in his hair shift to grab a handful of Liam’s hair on the back of his head like the mama cats do to their kittens. Liam's mouth feels a bit weird, he licks his bottom lip, he's a bit thirsty.
“Noel?” He calls out sleepy to the blurry image of his brother in front of him.
With his brother’s hand still in his hair Liam feels himself been pulled up towards the other boy in front of him, feeling the warm and electric hand on his side, until he can feel Noel has got his face right next to his, feeling his breath hit Liam’s lips, tickling like a phantom kiss. Noel probably thought the same thing since he pressed a kiss to Liam’ s mouth, just a quick one at first.
Liam blinks rapidly to get the blurring out of his vision. This is definitely a dream, Noel would never kiss him. His brother shoves him out of the way any time he’s close enough to him, hides his weetabix in places he knows Liam still can't reach, not having grown enough still. Noel loves messing up his hair, but he doesn’t... he can’t have kissed him in anything but a dream right? Liam brings one of his hands to cup his brother's cheek, it doesn’t particularly feel like a dream. But then again, he’s never gotten high and passed out. He’s heard from their cousins that some drugs make you hallucinate. Is he hallucinating? Liam licks his bottom lip again, the kiss felt good.
“Do it again?” Liam murmurs asking for it.
The thing with asking for it is... Well, see the thing is Liam's not entirely too good at kissing yet, some girls have stolen pecks out of him at school yes, but none of them are brave enough for tongue. Noel’s brave enough for a lot of stuff he thinks, clearly his brain agrees with him because he feels Noel’s tongue in his mouth, up in his paladar and then sucking on Liam's own tongue, and Liam just... let's it happen. He’s so focused on this he almost misses the way Noel is moving him around, gripping one of his arse cheeks to get him to move. But isn't that what birds do? He knows, he’s seen it enough on the streets, that they put their legs to each side of the man’s hips. Liam does just that without breaking off from Noel’s mouth.
“Good lad.” Is what he gets in return for this and… Noel hasn’t done that either in a long time. His brain clearly is making him dream weird things, but what is also weird is that Liam doesn't want the dream to end, doesn’t want to wake up just yet. He enjoys more of this movements until Noel stops and peels himself away from him, disturbing Liam’s position enough that he rolls off of his chest and in between slow blinks he sees Noel start to undress himself down to his box… no. Noel undresses himself entirely, standing in front of Liam naked as if he were to go take a shower right now.
Wow it's really like his wet dreams, he thinks looking at his brother's dick, not that he's been dreaming about his brother's dick, no, not really. But sometimes Noel jerks off in the night when he thinks Liam's asleep, when he should be, but sometimes his thoughts keep him up. He doesn't know what else there is to do, maybe he should get naked too.
The thought occurs to him and he’s immediately trying to get his pants down, but he’s groggy and his hands fumble at the buckle and he hears Noel groan, kinda like a growl, and his brother’s hands appear on his line of vision and he takes down his pants and his boxers at the same time, stopping when they’re bunched up around his ankles. Liam wants to hide himself when he can see the proof that Noel’s so much bigger than him.
"You're gorgeous," Noel says, putting a hand over Liam’s lower belly for a second, but then moves his hand up to Liam’s hip and pushes, trying to get him to turn over to lie on his stomach. Noel's stronger than him, even if Liam hadn't let himself be moved he would've been overpowered easily. Maybe he knew this by instinct so he lets it happen, he turns his head to the side to try and see just what his brother will do next, what his brain it's making him do. He feels out of breath seeing Noel looming over him like that. Liam takes the sheets from either side of his head on his fists.
Noel grabs one of Liam’s arsecheeks, pulling it to the side a little and spits in his other hand before reaching down and trying to press two fingers into Liam in what to the boy feels way too quick, forced and rushed
“Noel!” He whines, his brother’s fingers inside of him make for a weird sensation, Liam’s not entirely sure if he likes it, if he’s supposed to like it now or maybe he will. He tries to relax, to wait it out for Noel because Liam can see out of the corner of his eye how focused he is. He's paying so much attention to Liam and really he can’t help but gasp at that realization.
Noel shifts a bit as he keeps on doing that, maybe doing it still just with too much force, and then Liam feels something on his leg, he can only assume it's his brother’s dick and it fills him with maybe fear. “Noel! What are you…” He squirms against his brother’s hold. “I’m not a bird, you can’t put that in me!” He tries to free himself from Noel by trying to crawl away from him but Noel is very strong. “Noel!”
“It'll be fine.” Liam can hear the condescension in his voice without even needing to see his older brother’s face, and feels the way Noel pulls his fingers out of him to pull him back by the hips towards him again, leaving Liam with his arms still trying to grip the headboard that he can’t reach anymore. , adjusting their position so he opens Liam’s legs and settles in between them. Liam’s panting while this all happens.
“Noel, Noel, it won’t fit, brother please, it won’t fit.” He pleads into the sheets grabbing them into his fists again. He feels something rub against him where it shouldn’t be and the feeling is so weirdly pleasurable that Liam has no problem letting out a moan.
“Shh, I will make it fit,” Noel mumbles and Liam feels him trying to push in from that same spot he was rubbing. “You'll be fine.”
He keeps one hand on Liam’s hip and moves his other one up to the back of Liam’s head again, tightening his grasp in his hair as he is leaning forwards, pushing in slowly but steadily. Liam feels out of control in his own body, his own mind making dream this weird thing and having him feel the whole thing. Noel’s grip in his hair is as painful as what he's doing to him down there, it feels like he’s going to tear Liam up in two.
“Noel, it hurts.” He cries into a pillow, his voice muffled by them too.
Noel pushes Liam’s face more into the pillow and he says something that Liam can barely hear from everything that’s happening. “Fuck, Liam, good boy,” Noel groans, breathlessly, picking up the speed of his movements.
Liam’s breath leaves him when he hears Noel call him that, but he still can’t stop crying about it, gasping and crying when he feels Noel thrust in, feeling relief for a second when he thrusts out until Noel moves his hips up. Liam can feel his back arching but it doesn't even hurt anymore because Noel is hitting something within him, now he can't stop moaning in pleasure. “Noel, Noel!”
“You love it, you love it baby, huh.” Noel groans and Liam can feel him start to put more and more weight on his back, probably fully lying on him with all of his heavy weight and the hand that wraps around his neck, it feels a bit like getting crushed and squeezed.Liam doesn’t hate it, he loves it, it adds up to what it’s already happening and he can only let out high pitched moans, unable to think about anything, the weed in his system catching up to him and making numb.
“Noel.” Liam whines.
“You’re gorgeous, baby,” Noel groans, pulling out of Liam and turning him onto his back again. “My baby.”
Liam hadn’t known how much he wasn't breathing properly until Noel did that. He’s gasping and he’s sure his eyes are all teary-eyed. He still could only make out Noel as a blurry figure over him and he tries to lift his arms to grip onto Noel’s own arms but he doesn’t know if he's doing it actually, everything feels heavier, his limbs and his head. “Brother.” He says hoping he's doing it outside of his dream so the real Noel comes to sooth him.
“Shut up,” Dream Noel mumbles, moving Liam’s arms down to pin them down on each side of Liam’s body as he readjust himself and pushes back into him, moaning louder now. Liam himself screams, or tries to anyway, he doesn’t feel in control of his vocal cords. He feels less in control like this, he tries to move his legs to disrupt the way Noel keeps pistoning his hips into him. Too much too fast.
“Brother please!” Liam pleads and then starts crying.
“Hey, shh, you’re okay, stop screaming, Liam, for fuck’s sake,” Noel mutters just before Liam feels a stinging sensation on his right cheek, it’s so shocking that it’s successful in his goal, it shuts him up. Instead of crying, Liam gasps and then moans when Noel moves again, this time it feels pleasurable again. Noel’s face is so close to his and Liam finds himself moving his own face, wordlessly asking for a kiss.
“Make your mind up, kid.” Noel mutters against his lips, closing the gap in between their mouths and moving his tongue inside of Liam’s mouth, his thrusts slowing down. “You going to complain or be a good boy, huh?”
Liam can barely understand the words that come out of his brother's mouth, he only knows that it makes his body start to feel funny, funnier than how his body had started to feel with the weed, his breathing picking up, clenching around his brother's cock. “Noel, it feels like… I think I want to pee.”
Noel chuckles at his statement, shushing him for a second and then mutters: “Don’t worry about it.”
What he does next is something Liam didn’t think his body could bend enough to do. Noel releases the grip he has on his wrists to instead grab a hold on each of Liam’s ankles lifting them up making his legs bend forward. It’s a stretch of his legs and his calves, Liam thinks, his knees are so close to his own ears and he can see the way his feet bounce up and down with every thrust into him.
Liam gasps and tries to breath in this new position although it's difficult with how good he's feeling, the pain from before is gone and there's something about Noel’s face that Liam likes, he doesn’t know what it is exactly, he likes the way his eyebrows furrow like he's focused entirely on Liam, he likes the way Noel’s gripping his legs. “Noel I really…” He doesn't get to finish his sentence because he’s gasping, feeling the best he's ever felt and there’s a white substance coming out of his own dick.
“Fuck, yes baby.” Noel groans. “Fuck, fuck, Liam.”
Noel grunts for a final time before letting all of his weight drop over him, staying like that for a couple more seconds before scooting back, slightly getting his weight off of Liam, but not pulling out yet. This makes Liam gasp finally breathing normally, Noel still has a tight grip on his thighs and he seems to be looking at where his cock is still inside of Liam.
“What are you doing?” Liam asks, maybe mumbles, he still doesn’t know exactly where he is, what he just did with his brother in his dream. He tries to sit up but Noel keeps him there.
“It's alright, our kid,” Noel mutters, pulling out of Liam. “It's over, Liam. It's over. Go to sleep, yeah.”
Liam nods or tries to, everything is now so much heavier. How relaxed can one get on a normal day? He feels like he’s even more than that, he feels like he’s floating down on a river, like the waves are just helping him drift off, barely making out Noel at all, he’s just a blurry shadow. His dream has finally ended and he knows that in between blinking and blinking he will wake up. He will finally leave this weird dream behind.
—
Liam wakes up slowly, he feels like he’s slept for forever but still feels like he needs to sleep even more. He doesn’t know what time it is, it’s dark outside and he can hear his mam making noise in the kitchen, so maybe it’s not even time for tea yet. When he sits up in his bed, he realizes that he’s naked though he doesn’t know why, he’s sore like when he spends too much time running around outside playing with his mates.
But he doesn’t remember anything of the entire afternoon, he only knows that he asked for Noel’s weed and that was it. He looks over at Noel’s bed and sees him sleeping with his boxers on. Maybe they got too hot and stripped while they were high. He’s never been high before, maybe that’s what happens. He gets up from his bed and resolves to take a shower before coming down to tea and hopes that his mom doesn't recognize that he’s coming down from a weed high.
When he comes down to the kitchen, showered and dressed, he hears his mom in there, probably making dinner since he sees how dark it is outside. Their da might be coming any minute now so he helps her finish the dinner by helping her set the table. She serves him a plate of chicken and gravy and mash, and he thanks her, taking a seat on the kitchen table beginning to eat.
“You had fun today?” Peggy says, she doesn’t ask as if she knows that he and Noel had been doing weed the entire afternoon and then he had a fucking weird dream about it.
“I guess, but I couldn’t play footie.” Liam shrugs and looks sourly at his mother.
“Don’t look at me like that lad, you didn’t finish yer’ homework.” She points with her fork at the microwave over which there’s a stack of papers that look to be all the homework that Liam is supposed to be doing by Monday. “I ought to give you a sermon.”
“No, mam, they’re boring.” Liam whines.
“And you will be listening anyway lad or I swear to god you will meet your brothers belt.” She says sternly and Liam looks back down at his food, cowed for a second before he thinks of the perfect comeback but there’s a booming noise from the front door before he can get a single syllable out.
“Where is that cunt?!” There’s an equally booming voice coming from the same place. Liam locks eyes with his mother at the same time the furious steps lead to the kitchen.
“Where is that useless cunt you call a child, woman?” Tommy Gallagher screams right at Liam’s mother, her face is the epitome of neutrality, like she’s not as afraid as her face says she is, pale as it’s gone.
“Who are you talking about?” She manages to ask, keeping the tremor of her voice at bay. Liam has let his fork go and is watching his father closely. Noel has said he shouldn’t, that Tommy is gonna think Liam is being defiant but the man doesn’t even look over at him, like Liam is no more than the baby he’s been before, someone who won’t say anything back.
“That lazy cunt son of a whore who didn’t go to work today.” Tommy almost spits the words, not even bothering to hide how the insult goes to Noel and to his wife.
“He was feeling off in the morning Tommy, he–” Liam’s mum tries to say but gets cut off by the man she’s talking to.
“A right fuckin cunt he is, embarrassed me in front of me boss!” He yells and then locks eyes with Liam’s probably very intense one. “He’s here innit? This little rat wouldn’t be here otherwise.” That last part comes with a pointed finger directed at Liam. He mutters stuff under his breath that Liam can’t hear and turns on his heel, probably up the stairs and to the room Liam shares with Noel.
“No.” Liam says, getting up from his seat, trying to walk over there, maybe be faster than his da and get to Noel first, to warn him so he’s not taken by surprise by him in the middle of his dreams but his mam takes a hold of his wrist.
“C’mon luv, let it be.” She whispers, soothing him or trying to do it, pressing the side of his face against her chest, blocking one of his ears and the other with her palm to muffle the screams he can barely make out the words of and the dull sounds of his father’s fists hitting Noel’s skin.
“Mam! Let me go! Let me go help him!” He trashes against his mothers hold.
“There’s nothing you can do.” Mam’s voice does sound apologetic about it but Liam doesn’t stop trying to get out until there’s the sound of a door being forcibly closed and then the heavy steps of his dad coming down the stairs. His mam, before Tommy comes inside to the kitchen, manages to whisper in his ear: “Behave Liam, please.”
He stays still then, not making a sound as his father demands to be served dinner for his troubles, moaning about getting an earful from his boss about the lazy cunt he has for his son, obviously meaning Noel.
“I’m not hungry anymore, can I be excused?” Liam says around the tightness in his throat.
His father huffs and looks back at him menacingly, but Liam knows he won’t ever get a beating like the one Noel just received, probably, he wants to think. “Be polite, boy.”
“Please.” Liam is a step away from begging he knows.
“You can go darling.” His mam says and it doesn’t irritate his father much since he doesn’t say anything and just goes back to eating.
His steps thud in the staircase as he practically races upstairs before his mother even finishes dismissing him from the kitchen, he spares a second to feel bad that he’s leaving his mam alone with his da but that feeling leaves him as he comes to the doorway of his room and sees Noel laying in the ground.
“Noel, are you okay?” Liam kneels by his side and touches Noel’s face. His brother grunts, but there doesn’t seem to be blood on his face or around him, just bruises.
“Liam.” Noel sighed, moving his hand weakly, it looked more like he was twitching actually. “Help me up to my bed, please.”
Liam nods even though Noel can’t really see it through is half closed eyes, he helps his older brother roll on to his side and then pulls on his arms and somehow actually helps Noel onto his own bed.
Noel sighs once he lies down properly in his bed, placing his open hands over his ribs. “The fucker got me good. Has he left?”
Liam shakes his head but it’s in vain, Noel has closed his eyes fully now, maybe to try and get back to sleep again. “He’s in the kitchen eating dinner.” He waits for Noel to say something back but he doesn't, just stays there and Liam remembers that he’s not supposed to let Noel sleep after one of da’s beatings, ma told him that once. So, Liam climbs into the bed and presses into Noel’s side, he’s always warm and since their dad grabbed him from his own bed as he was sleeping his chest was naked, only wearing his boxers still.
Noel shudders and opens his eyes, looking down at him, or trying to anyway, his throat was a bit red and Liam is sure he was choked too. “What are you doing? You’re not a baby anymore kidda.”
“You can’t fall asleep.” Liam mumbles into Noel’s shoulder.
“Enterntain me then.” Noel replies and chuckles when Liam whines at the order. “You’re boring, make me sleepy.”
“No.” Liam whined again. “You can’t.”
“Then tell me a story.” Noel said again, moving his arm so he could put it around Liam.
“Like what?”
“I don’t know, like...” Noel made that slurping noise he does when he starts to think, “a story or summat.”
Liam’s first thought was his last dream, the things dream Noel did to him but that’s not something he should be saying out loud, right? Not proper or whatever.
“What are you thinking about?” Noel says, moving his hand up to his shoulder.
“What?”
“You make a funny face when you think.” Noel blinks as he looks at Liam, locking their eyes.
“I don’t.”
“Yeah you do.” Noel’s hand on his shoulder gripped him harder. “Tell me.”
“I…” Liam opened his mouth and for a second wanted not to say anything because it’s embarrassing, but Noel’s baby blue eyes were hypnotic for him, shining from the light of the lamp on the bedside table. “I dreamt we did things.”
“Oh, yeah?” Noel’s eyes shine even more as there is a slight tone of humour on his voice, or maybe Liam is imagining things. “What things?”
“Just… um… things like…” Liam doubts and Noel nods, encouraging him to continue, “... like sex things.”
Noel’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise and Liam feels his cheeks get hot from embarrassment, his brother’s face goes neutral and then shushes him.
“Hey,” Noel grips his shoulder tight again. “You’re growing up lad, there is nothing embarrassing about it.”
“It’s the weed.” Liam hides his face in between his hands. “I never dreamed about that before.”
“Right, weed gives you those.” Noel tried to be comforting. “It’s normal Liam, don’t be shy about it.”
“It is?” Liam says, doubtfully taking his face out of his hands. The images of the dream pass through his mind and he can’t help but shiver against Noel’s warm and naked chest.
Noel laughs at him and moves his other hand and places it over Liam’s private parts and rubbing it, he gasps, not thinking Noel would ever do that. “Noel?”
“Look at you,” Noel keeps laughing. “You’re so funny kid, you’re hard just thinking about your dream?”
“Noel!” Liam whines, even more embarrassed now. “Stop!”
“C’mon kid, you’re very entertaining, I’m not sleeping aren’t I?” Noel lifted his eyebrows, daring him to do… what? Liam doesn’t know.
Liam can’t say anything though because Noel keeps on rubbing his dick through his jeans, and it feels good. No other person has ever touched him there, no other hand other than his own, it’s such a different but good experience. He moves against his will, chasing the pleasure that Noel’s hand is giving him but freezes when he thinks about what he’s doing.
“You can move Liam.” Noel says, sounding like an order that Liam can’t disobey. So he does start to move. “Good lad.”
Liam whines and wants to cry against Noel’s shoulder again.
“Hey, kid.” Noel starts to talk again, seeing how quiet Liam has become. “Look at me.”
Liam looks up at Noel then and a surprise sound leaves his throat when Noel kisses him on the mouth.
“Did I do that in your dream?” Noel asks.
“I don’t–” Liam cuts himself off, taking a big breath to calm his racing heart, his eyes wide. “I don’t know, I don’t remember.”
“You didn’t like it?” Noel asks.
Is not that he didn’t like it per se, it’s just that Liam didn’t know how to compare it to actually, so he didn’t say anything. This was wrong for Noel of course because he started to furrow his brows and look annoyed at Liam.
“Have you even kissed anybody before? You better not have.” His tone of voice turned cruel a the end a bit, like when he gets annoyed at Liam for something or other and attacks him verbally.
“Well,” Liam gulps. “Just a girl at school stole a peck from me.”
“When was this?” Noel looks too concerned at this like it matters much.
“Just last week.” Noel kept looking at him waiting for him to elaborate. “At recess, she just sprung it on me.”
Noel looks even madder and Liam doesn’t even know why, can’t even think about it too much because he’s kissing him again, prying Liam’s lips open and thrusting into his mouth with his tongue, swirling it around, and Liam can’t do nothing but lay there and take it, his own conflicting feelings swirling inside of him. It’s not that he likes it, he really fucking does, his heart is beating so fast, like the rats his teacher was telling the class about the other day.
Noel stops the kissing and Liam is left reeling with this still, taking heaving breaths and licking his lips. Seeing the smirk that his older brother gets, it irks Liam a bit, like he’s being mocked and he’s about to say something and Noel just goes for his lips again.
“Shut up kid, I don’t wanna listen to you now.” Noel says against his lips, opening them up again. Liam just thinks about the right time to breathe, moving his hips against the leg that Noel slots in between his. “Yeah, baby, move exactly like that.”
His hand, the one that was palming him through his jeans, moves to the small of his back, to push at him, to move his hips, to help him grind against him. “Are you close kid? C’mon.”
Liam didn’t know he even was, he shudders with an orgasm right there and then, listening to his voice praise him for it.
“Good boy.” He says, mouthing at his neck now, making him shiver in the haze of his orgasm. “Such a good boy Liam.”
His hips slow and then stop their grinding after a while, he feels relaxed and safe in Noel’s arms now.
“Thanks kid.” Noel says, moving his lips to Liam’s temples.
“For what?” Liam asks, bewildered a bit, he’s forgotten everything now.
“For entertaining me.” He receives a soft kiss on his temple and Liam is much too overwhelmed to respond. To say something about not being his personal circus monkey but he’s too spent, the emotions brought forth by the dream and the beating and now this. It’s too much for him, so when Noel says they should go to sleep Liam doesn’t protest.
Noel moves him around so Liam is now the little spoon in the bed. Liam falls asleep like that, in his brother’s arms, warm and feeling safe even in his soiled boxers.