Chapter Text
Anthony Bridgerton couldn’t wait for the season to end. He was tired of balls and receptions and wedding talks. At the end of the previous season, he had believed himself ready to find a wife. He had strongly hoped that he would find a wife, someone who he could have a family with, someone he could respect. He hadn’t looked for love. He had, after all, decided a long time ago that love would never be in the cards for him. After seeing what losing the love of her life did to his mother, he had no intention of risking putting someone through that same pain, nor did he wish to go through it himself. He was a firm believer that he needed to build his relationship with his wife on friendship and respect. But to him, love was unnecessary and unwanted.
He had believed the young Miss Edwina Sharma to be the perfect candidate. She was pretty, she seemed to be capable of holding a discussion and she would fit perfectly in the role of Viscountess. She was, after all, exactly the type of woman the Ton expected him to marry. He felt nothing toward her, no passion nor lust, but he knew he could respect her. But then, he had met her sister, Kate, and everything had gone wrong. He had found himself attracted to her even if every time she opened her mouth, it was to contradict him and aggravate him. Eventually, Edwina had been hurt by his lack of interest and Kate had been angry by his actions towards her sister. And now, both Sharma sisters were on their way back to their homes, and Anthony was left unmarried and still no closer to finding his Viscountess. Not that he was actually looking forward to being married. He only wanted to get to whole thing out of the way. His mother was getting more and more insistent that he and Ben, and perhaps Colin settled down. And with Eloise out and Franny following in her footsteps next year, Anthony knew it was time. He would need all the help he could get to get through the next year.
Walking outside from the festivities of the evening, Anthony walked toward Lady Danbury’s garden. As usual, the woman had thrown one of the most impressive evenings of the season. Anthony had managed to avoid the many young ladies his mother had tried to throw his way. He knew Ben had managed to leave already with Colin. He wished he got do the same, but he had to make sure his family got safely back at home.
While walking without a specific purpose, Anthony came across a modest grassy area encircled by crab apple trees. And there, sitting on a stone bench, was a young woman. Under the moonlight, Anthony could only see the alabaster skin of her delicate shoulders and the soft curls of her hair cascading on her back. He knew he shouldn’t stay there. If he were to get caught, alone with a young woman, she would be ruined, and he would be expected to marry her to save her reputation. And yet, he found himself unable to move away. There, in the moonlight, she was mesmerizing. He could feel it, the undeniable impulse to touch her, to feel the soft skin of her neck, to taste the skin behind her ear, to rake his fingers through the thick curls of her hair. Without even realizing it, he took a step forward, reaching for her. And before he could stop himself, his fingers softly grazed the soft skin of her shoulder causing the woman to jump up from the bench and turned around.
- Miss Featherington?!
- Lord Bridgerton?
Anthony was at a lost for words. There, in front of him, was Penelope Featherington, the best friend of his younger sister Eloise, a girl he had known since she was barely able to walk, a girl 12 years his junior. But the woman in front of his, at that very moment, was leagues and bounds from the girl he knew. Instead of the atrocious citrus colored dress she usually wore, she was wearing a navy dress, in a different style that the empire waist that was the fashion of the moment. The dress accentuated her figure in all the right way, showcasing her luscious curves. Her long fiery hair was pulled back from her face, curling softly, cascading past her shoulders, down her back. A few soft tendrils were framing her beautiful face. For the first time, Anthony allowed himself to look at her; really look at her.
- I’m sorry, Miss Featherington. I wasn’t expecting you here.
- Do not worry, my Lord. But you shouldn’t stay here. If we were to get caught, we would both be in trouble. Said the young woman.
Anthony frowned. Most women would be glad to be caught in a compromising situation with him. After all, most mothers of the Ton had been trying for years to push their daughters in his arms hoping for a match. He was well aware that Portia Featherington wasn’t a stranger to that kind of schemes either. He had seen, on numerous occasions, Penelope’s sisters trying to catch an available gentleman in some delicate situation to secure them an advantageous union. But Penelope had never tried anything of the sort. And she had had plenty of opportunities since she was a regular guest in his family’s home. And it was one of the reasons why Anthony had always encouraged Eloise and Penelope’s friendship. The petite redhead consistently calmed Eloise during her passionate speeches about women’s rights, never attempting to alter her perspective. She was also loved by his mother and siblings. She always showed interest in each of them. Since they were 12 years apart in age, they didn’t have a close relationship, but Anthony appreciated Penelope and had made sure she knew she was always welcome in their homes.
But what was really troubling him, at the moment, was the trace of tears on the young woman’s cheeks. Now that he was closer, he could see the redness of her eyes and the tears that were threatening to fall.
- Miss Featherington, what has you so upset? Did something happen? Did someone hurt you? Tell me who it was, and I’ll make sure…
But before he could finish, Penelope placed her small, gloved hand on his arm, effectively shutting him up.
- Please, my Lord, do not worry for me. Nothing has happened and no one is responsible for this little moment of sadness apart from me.
Knowing it was inappropriate for her to be touching him like that, she pulled her small hand away and took a few steps back.
- Please, my Lord, just go back to the house and enjoy the rest of your evening.
As she was turning away from him, Anthony softly grabbed her arm, stopping her.
- Penelope, tell me what is wrong…
He had never used her name before. Contrary to his siblings, Anthony had always made sure to maintain a proper distance with her. She was important to his family, but since becoming Viscount at such a young age, Anthony had always made sure to keep an appropriate distance with young women to avoid giving them, or anyone, the wrong idea.
Surprised by his soft tone, Penelope turned to him. He was closer than propriety dictated, but she found herself being unable to step back.
- Please, do not worry. Tonight’s evening has forced me to realize some things and I found myself having a hard time coming to terms with them.
Anthony didn’t like her tone. Penelope Featherington was always smiling. He has seen her care for his young sister Hyacinth, bringing a smile to the young girl’s face every time she came to visit them. He was aware that Hyacinth was struggling to find her place in their family. She felt she had to compete with Daphne’s beauty, Franny’s musical talent and Eloise’s fierce determination to change the world. But every time Penelope was around, Anthony saw his younger sister simply be herself. Because Penelope liked her just the way she was, and she cared about the young girl’s opinions, her wishes and her dreams. And yet, tonight, the Penelope in front of him was anything but smiling. She was trying to compose herself, but Anthony could see the tears in her eyes threatening to fall. And he found himself wanting to bring back the smile to her lovely face.
- Please, tell me what I can do to make things better. Said Anthony softly.
Penelope seemed appalled by his words.
- My Lord, you are probably the last man that should be offering to help me! Please, go back inside and please I beg of you, just forget about me, about this.
She turned away from him and walked back to the bench where she sat back down. Anthony saw her wipe a single tear that had finally managed to escape, her hand shaking slightly. He was a man with means, he was sure, if she would just tell him what was wrong, he would be able to help.
Stepping closer to her, he took a seat next to her. They had been alone far too long already and yet; Anthony couldn’t find the strength to walk away.
- Please talk to me, Penelope. What has you so troubled?
Suddenly, Penelope couldn’t hold it in anymore. She had been plagued by these thoughts for a long time now and she longed to talk to someone about them. She knew Eloise wouldn’t understand and her mother and sisters had never shown any interest in her.
- Lately, I came to accept the fact that I will probably end up a spinster.
Her voice was barely above a whisper. Almost like she was afraid of disturbing the heavens with her sorrows.
- Penelope…
- No, please, let me finish. I have seen many unhappy marriages in my life, my parent’s one to start. And even thought I would love to find a good man and have a home and a family of my own, I have accepted it might not happen for me. And I would rather be a spinster than spend my life with a man that despised me or is violent or cruel towards me and towards our children. But in the last few weeks, I came to realize all I will be missing out on. And on evenings like this, where I see happy couples dancing and laughing, and new loves blossoming, it’s gets harder. It’s the little things… I’ve never been kissed and probably never will… So, you see, there is nothing you can do to help me. So please, go back to the evening and please, forget I told you all this. Said Penelope, voice slightly shaking
Anthony found himself unable to speak. Getting up, he walked away slowly, stopping a few feet away before turning back toward her. She was still sitting on the bench. She was looking up at the sky and Anthony was almost certain he could see a tear roll down her cheek. Once more, Anthony’s eyes landed on the soft curve of her neck, the pale skin of her shoulders. He had never realized how beautiful she was. Probably because he had never allowed himself to think about her as anything other than his sister’s friend. But now, he could hardly think about her as anything other than an incredibly beautiful woman.
Without even realizing what he was about to do, he stepped back toward her.
- Maybe I could help you.
Penelope jumped to her feet, startled. She had believed him gone.
- My Lord?! How could you possibly help me?
Taking one step closer, Anthony smiled at her.
- I could kiss you.
He saw Penelope’s eyes widen, her hands flying to her mouth.
- You can’t! If someone was to find out, I would be ruin and you would…
- Penelope, no one would know.
Penelope seemed completely panicked by the idea and Anthony felt himself starting to regret his offer.
- I don’t want your pity, my Lord. I could never put you in that situation.
This time, Anthony walked the last few steps separating them and took her hands in his. Penelope gasped in surprised, unable to move away.
- I don’t feel pity for you, Penelope. Said Anthony huskily.
- If someone was to find out… she said looking down, her voice barely above a whisper
Anthony moved even closer. Letting go of her hand, he used a finger to force her chin up. Her beautiful blue eyes were shining with tears.
- You do not have to say yes. I can walk away, and we can just forget all about this. Said Anthony
Penelope hesitated a moment. She had been agonizing over the fact that she would probably never be kissed. And she knew that Anthony Bridgerton would never take advantage of her.
- You would really do that? For me? asked Penelope shyly.
- Yes… said Anthony smiling.
The longer he stood close to her, the more he hoped she would agree. Standing this close, his eyes focused on her plump lips, her rosy cheeks, and her delicious scent. That woman seemed so different from the young woman he had known for years.
- I wouldn’t want you to think that I told you all this in order to trap you into…
- I would never believe you capable of something of the sort. Said Anthony
Penelope looked up at him, biting her lower lips. Anthony had to hold back to growl that almost escaped him. He wished to be biting that lip himself. That simple idea broke all of Anthony’s resolves. Unable to wait any longer, he placed his hand on her cheek and leaned in, stopping mere inches away to give her one last chance to pull away. When she didn’t, Anthony pressed his lips to hers.
Her lips were soft, incredibly soft. As his arm snaked around her waist, pulling her closer to him, Anthony found himself marveling at the way her body seemed to fit his own perfectly. Penelope was tentative at first, but Anthony smiled when she became more responsive. Pulling away slightly, Anthony smiled when Penelope’s eyes fluttered open. They were glazed and her cheeks had taken a lovely shade of pink.
- Are you alright? Asked Anthony almost tenderly
- Yes…
Then, like she had just realized what had happened, she pulled away slightly, but Anthony’s arm around her waist prevented her from moving away.
- Thank you…
- Don’t thank me yet, we are not done…
Pulling her back into his arms, Anthony crushed his lips to her. He didn’t know why, but he wanted more, so much more. Penelope, surprised by his move, gasped against his lips and Anthony took the opportunity to plunge his tongue in her mouth. Kissing Penelope was like nothing he had ever done before. After a moment, Penelope’s tongue mixed with his and she moaned softly against his lips, and he felt his last inch of restraint snap. Pulling her tightly against him, he walked her back until her back was against a large tree. Pressing himself to her, Anthony wondered, for just a second, if she could feel how aroused he was. Penelope’s hands left his shoulders to move to his neck, pulling him even closer, as if to anchor herself.
After a moment, Anthony forced himself to pull away from her. Because if he didn’t, he might lose the little self-control he still had, and he couldn’t allow himself to go too far. Penelope was a gentlewoman, and she deserved better than being ruined in a garden.
Just as he was about to say something, to inquire after her well-being, they heard footsteps getting closer. Anthony saw panic appear in her eyes, felt it in the way she tensed against him.
- Anthony, are you around here somewhere?
Benedict. Anthony fought back the growl that was about to escape him. His brother had always had a knack to appear at the worst of time. But maybe it was better that way. Things had already gone too far. If they had been caught, Penelope’s reputation would have been ruined all because of him. His mother, his sister and probably his entire family would never forgive him.
- Are you alright? Asked Anthony softly to the pretty redhead.
- I’m fine, you should go.
Anthony took a step back. He wished he could walk her back to the house, make sure she was alright, but he knew it was a bad idea.
- I’ll see you, Miss Featherington.
- Good night, my Lord.
Walking away, Anthony had to use all his willpower to not turn around and look back at her. Turning a corner, he found himself in front of his brother.
- There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you! Mother is ready to go. Said Ben
Anthony simply walked by his brother toward the house, never daring to look back.