Chapter Text
To Only See Darkness
Chapter 1: Heat
The day was going almost as planned; they somehow avoided the barrage of a million fireballs hurled at them and made it to the Crescent Moon island in time. Thanks to a surprisingly helpful and friendly fire sage Shyu, they even managed to make it inside the Avatar Roku’s temple and get Aang into the building’s most sacred room, where he would finally be able to talk to Avatar Roku, who was apparently eager to discuss some important Avatar business that Sokka didn’t really (want to) understand. How someone could speak to a dead person was beyond him, and on any other day, he would make it his main goal to debunk the whole concept. But seeing Aang’s face riddled with determination and worry made him keep his mouth shut for once.
Thinking about how seemingly well the day turned out was especially ironic given how Sokka was tied to an overdecorated ornate pillar together with his sister. The Fire Nation had really outdone themselves; the pillars were covered in tiny, sharp carvings that jabbed him everywhere, making being tied up even more miserable.
But that was not important right now. Sokka needed to figure out a way to get them out of this sticky situation, he was the plan guy after all. If only he could reach his boomerang, he could cut the chain, and Katara and he would be free. But they would still be presented with an undeniable problem; the many, many fire benders led by Mr Sideburns, as well as Zuko, who, while restrained at the moment, always caused issues for the Avatar squad (he would really need to work on a better group name when the time allowed it).
The heat was unbearable. Why is it so damn hot? Sokka thought, then facepalmed mentally; they were literally sitting on an active volcano. Acknowledging that fact made him vastly uncomfortable. He tried replacing the thoughts of scorching hot, molten rock flowing underneath him with thoughts of his home. He’s only been on the road with the avatar for a month at this point, but he already missed the comforting feeling that the ice and the snow provided. He missed the icy ledge overlooking his village that he trekked to whenever he needed a moment alone from the people of the village and his annoying sister (spirits, she could get annoying). The view was spectacular, and the massive icy cedar, which, based on Gran Gran’s stories, grew there long before people even lived in the area, provided the ledge with a much-needed wind shield and comfort. Before his mom became just one of the many victims of the gruesome, never-ending war, that very ledge was where their family spent the most time together.
One of his very first memories was his mom and dad walking him up to that very special place, sitting down together, and just taking in the view. He must've been just shy of turning 2 years old. He remembered his mom cupping his face in her arms as he sat in dad’s lap, and telling him how much he meant to her, before announcing that the family would be getting a new member, that he would be getting a sister. While he didn’t remember how he felt at that moment, he was sure that the news made him ecstatic; he loved his sister more than anything after all. He remembered how very warm that day was, how warm his mother’s arms were on his cheeks, but he could never remember his mother’s face. Somewhere along the way, he forgot what she looked like, and it stung.
After Sokka’s dad left for war, the “Family Ledge” turned into a “Ledge of Solitude”. Sokka used it as his getaway point, he could just sit there for hours and think, sometimes about all the memories that were tied to that place, and other times for exploring deep philosophical thoughts such as “Why is snow white and not… let’s say… green?” Whenever he headed for his special spot, he always asked Katara to accompany him, but she never said yes, and while it saddened him, he couldn’t blame her. He knew how much she missed their mom and how heartbroken she was after their dad left to fight in the war. Reliving all the memories that were tied to the once-family-ledge would put her through too much pain.
Just as he was about to dive even deeper into his childhood memories, he started feeling more and more heat hitting his cheeks as the massive door, which was protecting Aang from the small firebender army, suddenly flung open, and Sokka could see an abnormally tall, eerie-looking old man standing in the doorway.
His eyes glanced over at Katara. He probably looked as terrified and confused as one can get, as his eyes met his sister’s.
“It’s the spirit of Avatar Roku, and he looks pissed! What should we do?” Katara gasped with urgency.
All Sokka could do was nod and stare blankly at his sister’s remark. It was just what they needed, more spirit world mumbo jumbo, as if their recent run-in with Hei Bai was not enough of a headache. Just thinking back to the toiletless hell that was the spirit world made Sokka squirm, and his mind was dead-set on leaving this temple as soon as humanly possible.
Before his tongue managed to untangle, he felt a second wave of heat hit his body, and the chains that bound him and Katara to the pillar disappeared, and they were free. The same wave that freed Sokka, Katara, and the sages (as well as Zuko for some reason) knocked most of the Fire Nation soldiers to the ground, and the whole floor turned to chaos. But in chaos, there is also opportunity. Now all they needed to do was wait for Aang to get control of his body back so they could leave this stupid temple, this stupid island, and the stupid Fire Nation behind them. It was time for a plan.
“Okay, Katara, listen to me, you need to make sure Aang makes it out of this unharmed. He’ll need all the help he can get after being in the Avatar state this long. I will try to find Shyu in the meantime. Fire Nation or not, he’s the only reason we made it as far as we did today, and we should help him get out of this place.”
“Sokka, as much as I am thankful for his help, I really don’t think splitting up is the right move right now. We should stick together and get out as soon as we can! It seems like Avatar Roku is dead set on destroying this temple.”
“Oh, Katara, come on, I’m the plan guy, remember? You need to trust the process. We’ll meet at Appa’s hiding place. Just focus on your part, and we’ll get out of this unscathed, like always.” he really tried to sound as confident as humanly possible; he didn’t need his sister to feel the doubt that was twisting his stomach.
Before the siblings could bicker any further, the floor shook violently. It seemed like Roku made it his goal to bury the island completely as the volcano began erupting and the third wave of heat overwhelmed Sokka’s body. It was go time. Sokka glanced at Katara and gave her a nod and a smile filled with determination. She nodded back, but Sokka thought he could spot the tiniest grain of worry in her deep blue eyes.
It was too late for second-guessing, and Sokka could feel his feet moving as he began his search for Shyu. But why was he willing to risk it all just to save a guy they met an hour ago? A guy who was also a firebender, an ash maker, the enemy of his people. The same people who genocided his own and eradicated every single airbender. Was Shyu’s display of basic human decency truly enough to wash him of all the sins his nation has made, of a nation whose colors he was still proudly wearing every day? Did it really take only a month for Aang’s whole belief system to start rubbing off on Sokka? Did he now believe that there’s good in every single person, no matter their background or origin? No. Unless…? So many thought-provoking questions and so little time to dissect them. Actions spoke louder than thoughts, and Sokka would just leave it at that for now and revisit the topic later.
He forced his mind to stop wandering and did his best to focus on the present, finding Shyu and getting the hell out of there. Roku was still tearing the place apart; he must’ve really hated what his temple had become. As if the temple wasn’t confusing enough, with its many hallways and rooms, it now started falling apart, with various small ornaments dropping from the ceiling and walls, and large cracks appearing in the floor. Where in spirits’ name was Shyu? An old man like him couldn’t have just vanished like that. Room after room was empty; the entire temple was already completely deserted, and Sokka hadn’t run into a single person yet. Even Zuko had vanished in an instant after Roku strangely decided to free him. That was another thing to revisit later.
Yet another wave of heat flooded through Sokka’s body, but this time it stemmed from within. The realization hit him hard as he saw his plan for what it truly was: pure stupidity. He had just left his 14-year-old sister and an exhausted 12-year-old Aang alone, expecting them to navigate this blazing inferno that Moon Crescent Island had become. It was time to give Shyu up, time to get the hell out of there, regroup with Katara and Aang, and leave the Fire Nation behind. But suddenly, he realized he had no idea how to reach the exit. Jumping out of the window was out of the question; first of all, he was way too high up, and the last thing he needed was a broken leg. Plus, there was always a small chance of landing in a puddle of lava, so no, definitely no jumping. The only option was running down the stairs… of a collapsing building; simple enough, right?
The whole temple seemed to be overflowing with heat. Sokka was sweating profusely, his skin was covered in ash and soot, he struggled to catch his breath, and his body ached everywhere. He somehow managed to make it down the first flight of stairs unharmed. The second one seemed even worse, the collapsed pillars were a hazard and a help at the same time as Sokka used them to descend to the lower levels of the building.
There was only one last staircase separating him and the ground floor, and it looked almost completely intact. Suspicious or not, he rushed down the stairs, his lungs ached for fresh air, and his eyes longed for Katara’s staring back into his. He needed to tell her that she was right, his plan (if he could even call it that) really sucked, and they should’ve stuck together. Halfway down the stairs, Sokka suddenly lost his footing. There was suddenly no floor left to stand on, and before he could realize what was going on, he was falling, everything around him was falling, but just as quickly as his body lost the ground, it found it again, and hit it hard.
Sokka’s body felt like it was ripped apart, but he could still feel both his arms and his legs, so he must’ve still been in one piece. He was so close to the exit, he could feel something almost like a breeze hitting his face, a light current of fresh air giving him the energy to open his eyes and make the last push towards the safer outdoors. He saw it. The door that would make most of his troubles go away. If only he could just force his body to stand, squeeze the last bit of energy out of it, and make it to the exit.
He tried… but he couldn’t, his limbs felt heavy, his head was overheated, his whole body was burning up, and suddenly, his eyes started feeling heavy too. Each passing second, they felt heavier and heavier. Maybe if he rested them for a bit, he would regain his strength and make it out of here. But the building was literally falling apart, he couldn’t be resting his eyes on top of a collapsed staircase that almost killed him a minute ago. But he felt oh so tired, and the world around him turned dark.
The heat was gone, smoke and soot disappeared, the collapsing temple faded out of existence, but the darkness prevailed for a second longer, until Sokka found himself in a very familiar setting, his family’s cozy igloo. He could hear his parents’ flirty bickering just outside the igloo’s entrance. Everything felt so safe and familiar, and the anxiety that had infested his thoughts just seconds ago was gone. He could smell the fish grilling over the fire, and he was back where he belonged.
He felt a tiny hand pull him by his parka, and as he turned around, he saw her, Katara, his baby sister, looking at him with those pleading blue eyes. She looked so much younger than he remembered her being but it didn’t bother him. He was just happy things seemed to return back to normal.
“You promised you’d play polar hawks and turtle seals with me today Sokka. What’s taking you so long?”
Ahh, polar hawks and turtle seals. He used to play that game with Katara all the time when they were younger. The premise of the game was simple. Turtle seals’ sole objective was to first hide and then make it to the designated body of water before the polar hawk could find and catch them. While very simple on the surface, it was a lot of fun, and it involved a lot of strategy, because anything imaginable was allowed. If you were sneaky enough, you could sneak your way around the many snow dunes and tunnels, a strategy Sokka loved utilizing during the winter. You could also use a more direct approach and cover your opponent with a barrage of snowballs, a strategy that Katara always seemed to go for.
Sokka gave his sister a playful grin.
“Okay, let’s do it then, but you’ll be the polar hawk today. I have some new strategies I want to try out. You don’t stand a chance."
Katara scowled but didn’t argue further, and off they went hand in hand. Just the fact that Sokka wanted to spend time with her made her feel content.
“Don’t stay out too long, kids. Be back before dark, and I mean it! Bato is coming over to make his special sea prunes recipe.” It was their mom. She never let them roam around after dark for some reason.
“Yes, Mom, we’ll be back before you know it.” Katara replied absently. Before pulling Sokka’s hand towards their destination.
“You know Katara, I think I’m entitled to your serving of sea prunes if I beat you today.” Sokka’s mouth was locked in a playful grin. Teasing his sister awoke a special type of joy in him. “Good thing I’m so hungry.”
“No fair! You always beat me when I’m a polar hawk.” Katara seemed mad but also very determined. She was clearly up for the challenge. “And that’s a terrible argument, you’re always hungry.”
Before the bickering could go on any further, they were at their usual spot. It was perfect for this game, lots of snow dunes, tiny hills, and hidey-holes, and on top of it, there was a fresh layer of snow, which meant new tunnels that Sokka could use to sneak around his sister effortlessly. They quickly took their positions, and it was on. Sokka effortlessly found a snow tunnel and began crawling, focusing on the light that was illuminating the tunnel from the other side. He needed to beat her, he wanted that second serving of stewed sea prunes.
He crawled and crawled until he could feel that all-too-familiar fatigue return to his body, and suddenly he heard cracks. The light at the end of the snow tunnel was gone; it seemed to be replaced by total darkness. The air around him heated up, and the snow began to melt until the weakened ice he was crawling over couldn’t hold him any longer, and he began falling.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
He couldn’t see anything. He couldn’t feel anything other than dread and anxiety filling up his body, and the abnormal heat rushing through him. What was going on? Why was he falling? Everything was normal, his family was back together, he was playing his favorite game with his sister, and he had been almost certainly promised a double serving of Bato’s stewed sea prunes. All of it gone in an instant, replaced with a void of nothingness, emptiness, and heat.
He felt so alone.
So empty.
Forgotten.
Abandoned.
He tried closing his eyes, he tried letting go, and suddenly the falling sensation stopped.
He opened his eyes reluctantly, and while the darkness was still dominating his field of vision, he immediately recognized the place he found himself at; the Family ledge. He tried finding the calm in the majestic view that the ledge provided, but strangely enough, he couldn’t see anything; all of it seemed to be shrouded in a thick layer of darkness. As he pushed himself back to try and lean on the all too familiar icy cedar tree, he realized he wasn’t alone.
“What brought you back here so soon, sweetie?” It was a woman’s voice, strangely familiar, but Sokka couldn’t quite put a name to it, nor could he see her clearly, she was wrapped in a veil of darkness, just like most other things around him.
“Do I know you?” Sokka asked reluctantly.
“We’ve met long ago, but it seems that you’re already starting to forget me.” The voice was warm and soothing, but an undercurrent of sadness lingered beneath it. “Have you given up already?”
“NO!” Sokka yelled before he could think. “I just… I just keep falling, and I don’t know how to make it stop… Everything felt so perfect just seconds ago, but now I feel so empty. How do I make it stop?”
“Oh, Sokka… you know good emotions can’t exist without the bad ones.” The woman’s voice seemed to be growing more and more distant with every word she said. “If the darkness makes you feel empty, just open your eyes…”
Sokka’s eyes shot open. He found himself in a small, unfamiliar room that appeared to be made of… metal? Was he on a fire navy ship? Had that sleazy admiral with the disgusting-looking sideburns taken him prisoner? There weren’t any chains or cuffs in sight, and he found him self lying in a bed of all things, which was a good sign. He doubted that the Fire Nation constrained their prisoners to comfortable beds, with very silky sheets nonetheless.
As he tried to sit up, a bolt of excruciating pain rushed through his body, it felt like every inch of his skin was on fire. His mind finally caught up to the present. How did he make it out of that forsaken, collapsing temple? Where were Aang and Katara? He could only hope they made it out of that blazing inferno alive.
He undid the covers to try to figure out what was causing him so much pain, and he immediately felt very naked. All that was left of his clothes was his loincloth, but what truly concerned him was the sight of his left leg, his arms, and parts of his torso being completely covered in bandages. He scanned his body thoroughly, and while he was covered in tiny cuts and bruises, nothing seemed to be broken or missing, thank spirits. Still, the thought of what was hiding beneath those bandages worried him, but he knew better than to irritate the injuries that were seemingly well taken care of by his captor (or rescuer).
He decided to try standing up. He really needed to find his clothes, he felt way too exposed without his blue water tribe attire. Even sitting up, it felt like the whole room was spinning, but he tried to pay it as little attention as possible so he wouldn’t puke all over the bed. But even before he could make an effort to try and stand up, the handle on the door moved; someone was clearly making their way into the room.
“Umm, hi, who are… YOU!?” His voice went from cautious to indignant, and the immediate recognition of his “rescuer” hit him like a boomerang to the face (in the worst way possible).
“Ohh, you’re finally awake,” the raspy voice muttered.