Heiress to the Overlord

by Tigerbrows

Summary:

TM Opera O has had one of the most successful careers in the history of Umamusume racing, but her trainer nonetheless feels like he could have done more to help her. On the eve of her retirement, she makes a vow to help him achieve his dreams - a vow that WILL come true no matter how impossible it might seem, as she is the Centurial Overlord.

Notes:

• Inspired by The Creation of an Umamusume by noiku
• Inspired by Crimson Night, Moonlight White by Ainsel (Illindus)

Chapter 1: Every Sunset Brings...

“HAAAA HA HA HA HA!”

TM Opera O’s laughter rang out over the crowded auditorium - so loudly and clearly, even without the assistance of a microphone, that one could barely hear the dozens upon dozens of questions that reporters were being flung her way. It was an unholy din that made me sick to my stomach, even with the comfort of a curtain separating me from the noise.

Vultures, flies, detestable bottom feeders, all of them - swarming for a chance to ask her a dozen and one predatory questions. Was she retiring because she felt she couldn’t compete anymore? Who was going to succeed her as Overlord in the Twinkle Series? Who was her first rival in the Dream League? Why make this announcement on New Year’s Eve? Even those few questions that I made out through the din were sickening to hear. Thankfully, the din quieted down, thanks to whatever silent gesture she made to get them to stop their incessant buzzing. I let out a breath that I didn’t know I’d been holding as the noise stopped and she began to speak.

“It is only natural that you would have so many questions- For is the Overlord’s reign not eternal? Would this not be an admittance of defeat?” TM Opera O had just the other day raced the Arima Kinen - and lost, to a classic year racer - Manhattan Cafe, who had come out of nowhere and taken the Kikuka Sho, her only real achievement otherwise being losing to Agnes Tachyon in the Satsuki Sho- not that anyone could blame her for that...

“On the contrary!” Opera O declared. “Only now that I can be sure that the future is in safe hands is it now safe for me to rule from afar, watching with contentment as all those lands under my rule flourish! As the sun gazes down from the heavens upon the land, so too shall I - and much like the sun, this warmth will continue to nourish you all! I bequeath upon you all my kingdom, to share with one another and prosper!”

One of the things that shocked me the most, being her trainer all these years, was learning that she really did talk like that all the time, and it was all improvised. I only tried giving her a script for a press conference once, and her reply was to thank me for my ‘sage advice’ and throw it in the trash after “committing it to memory”. Indeed, TM Opera O was not somebody who had an “off switch” - whoever designed her up in heaven clearly neglected to install one. She was a perpetual motion machine of overdramatic flourishes. She lived life with such vigor, such verve, such overwhelming confidence that she made everyone around her believe in her version of reality.

Which really made me wonder why the hell she picked me to be her trainer.

Matsuo Katsuo, Tracen academy trainer. I didn’t even care to describe my appearance - I didn’t much like it anyway. If I was at all honest with myself, I was completely mediocre in every way - My career had been a short series of utter failures, with my trainees universally either becoming discouraged by the realities of competition and abandoning their dreams, or making such a middling performance that they considered themselves lucky to place in a GII. I ought to have lived a completely unremarkable life, and blended into the background as a completely unremarkable person.

Then, TM Opera O swept through it like a hurricane and carried me off into the sky with her.

It was inexplicable. Through complete happenstance, I had found in my care a miracle of a trainee- One truly capable of challenging the greatest in the history of Umamusume. She had even refused me, at first, until I came to her in a fit of mania and proclaimed my loyalty to her cause.

Five years later, I still didn’t know why I did that. Perhaps her energy was infectious- perhaps she lived life so much that the life spilled out of her and onto those around her. She was over-the-top, yes - spending entire nights reciting poetry to the moon and having rose-baths on the roof of her dormitory could not be described as anything but that by any sane individual, but perhaps when I was with her, I was not entirely sane.

Perhaps, some dark part of me said, I was simply an empty husk clinging to her. That I was absorbing her joy, her love of life, and allowed it to fill that bottomless hole in myself. That I found the one person who could possibly make me feel a little bit of happiness in my hollow existence, and clung to her even though I knew I would just weigh her down-

“Ah, admiring the curtains once again, Trainer-kun?” Opera O’s voice shook me out of my darkening contemplation, and I turned to face her with a start. She was already done with the press conference!?  “Yes, they are indeed quite fine- though were it to be my preference, they would be made of finest velour. Alas, this venue is not my own - Perhaps with my winnings, however, I ought to fund the creation of a theatre worthy of hosting my magnum opus!”

I stared, dumbfounded at her, as was my default response during these strange tangents of hers. “I- Sorry, Opera, I was lost in thought. You’re already done with the reporters’ questions...?” I idly watched a rose petal drift off of her shoulder pauldron - likely from the shower of petals that she had flung out to mark her exit, as was her wont.

“Indeed I am!” Opera O proclaimed again, offering a hand with which to pull me to my feet (which I accepted). “A thousand thousand questions they had, but all redundant- for what better answer is there, but the evidence of their eyes? My reign in the Twinkle Series was long and glorious, and so too shall my reign in the Dream-”

She was cut off when she noticed my sigh. There it was- a flinch, a momentary glimpse behind the character she played at all times. I only ever saw the faintest flickers of her- the woman behind the Overlord, the Umamusume from humble regional beginnings who was only admitted into the Satsuki Sho due to the Oguri Cap Rule. In her moments of doubt, when she ever-so-briefly thought that she had made a mistake, the real TM Opera O would show herself for a split-second before ducking back behind her mask. Back into character.

“What plagues your heart, Trainer-kun?” Opera O asked, her tone still dramatic but now more subdued. “Are you perhaps regretful that you did not take the stage with me in our final act? Full many times have I offered you a rightful place at my side- Ah, fear not! It is not too late!”

Opera O’s hand tightens around mine like a vice as she tugs me towards the stage, and my heart plummets into my stomach and my whole body lurches and my muscles freeze up and my jaw clenches and my entire brain lights up with terror- “STOP!” I shout, louder than I’d intended - my words amplified by an inexplicable, primal fear.

Thankfully, blessedly, TM Opera O froze in place, looking back at me with a wince and flattened ears - worrying if she had hurt me? No, I’d hurt her by raising my voice. “I- sorry, Opera. You know I...”

Right on cue, her ears popped back up and Opera let go of my hand as she fell back into character. “No, no- the error is mine, and you have nothing but my sincerest, deepest apologies. In my excitement, I had forgotten your aversion to the spotlight...”

An unnatural silence invaded this space and made it feel cold and alien- liminal, as though it had been left uninhabited for years, even though the din of reporters was still faintly audible beyond the backstage’s boundary. The vultures circling outside had doubtless heard my shout, and were even more doubtless hungry for even the slightest scrap of information about TM Opera O’s mysterious, mythological trainer.

‘A sage of timeless wisdom’, she once called me in an interview- Opera O’s overdramatic tendencies had created for the press an air of mystery and intrigue around me, when the simple truth was that I could not bear to be seen. Even the simple act of meeting eyes with someone caused some deep, primordial part of me to curl up like a frightened animal. The mere thought of addressing the press alongside Opera O, as her ‘most trusted advisor’, fending off the judgemental stares of the ravenous paparazzi... It made me sick. Even just being this close to the stage made me sick, but I couldn’t simply let Opera O go alone to these events...

Opera O allowed a sigh to escape her, the faintest hint of frustration in her voice as she gathered the words to cut through the silence. “Trainer... I do not wish to press you so, but even should you deny it a thousand times over, it remains true that you are worthy of standing up there by my side. Your humility is praiseworthy, but... I fear that you make a vice of a virtue by indulging in it overmuch.”

“I’ve told you, I-” I felt my body tense up, trying to find yet another reason to justify to Opera why I shouldn’t- couldn’t share the spotlight with her, no matter how much she wanted me to. My throat closed up, choking the words that wanted to come out, because I could not dare speak them to Opera O.

I was an unworthy trainer. The moment I stepped out there, they would see the scrawny, unremarkable shell of a man that stood in Opera’s shadow, and rightfully eviscerate him for being unworthy of the Overlord’s grace. I had failed her at every step of the way- she was a trainee with potential for an unprecedented, undefeated career greater than even the Emperor’s, and that by clinging onto her, I had prevented her from realizing her full potential. That if she had chosen anyone, anyone but me...

“... Let’s go.” Opera O said, uncharacteristically straightforward. “I... mislike the air here- this is not the place for a discussion such as this.”

“... Yeah.” I reluctantly agreed, if only for an opportunity to focus on anything, anything other than my own thoughts.

-----

Opera O and I quietly shuffled into a car in the auditorium’s private parkade, and a Tracen Academy staff member drove us out onto the street. The vultures had already positioned themselves outside on the sidewalks - I closed my eyes so I couldn’t see how many of them there were, how many cameras were flashing uselessly against the tinted windows of the vehicle...

Tracen Academy was surprisingly accommodating towards my want for secrecy. Some trainers wished to keep their lives private- though this wasn’t really something I had to worry about until Opera O came into my life. It was only then that the mortifying ordeal of being seen became horrible reality, and my neuroses required this... absurd level of secrecy - a level of secrecy which, naturally, only drew more scrutiny from the swarms of locusts wearing press badges that dogged my every step.

I wished that I could be normal. That I could be a trainer who could stand in the spotlight with Opera O and laugh alongside her, proclaim a thousand ridiculous things and then turn around and walk offstage without offering a single explanation - was that normal? Perhaps it ought to have been, for Opera.

I spared the occasional glance at her, but Opera’s gaze was outwards, towards her kingdom- er, towards the streets, as the car accelerated down the road towards Tracen.

She was thinking.

I turned away, lest she catch me staring, and I turned my thoughts inward as well. Clearly, we had to have an actual talk soon... just not now. Neither of us wanted to get into this in the car.

So instead, we sat for the entire drive, in that unnatural silence that we’d sought to escape.

-----

Our grim march - the destination of which I had thought to be my office - suddenly ground to a halt as we entered the plaza containing Tracen’s prized fountain- the statue of the three goddesses. TM Opera O - who had been walking in front of me - came to a halt with such immediacy that I nearly crashed into her. “It has been long enough!” She declared, turning to face me. “I cannot wait any longer- so, this shall be the theatre of our most fateful dialogue!”

Ordinarily, I would at least try to match her energy, but I simply couldn’t summon the will to do so. I knew deep down what was coming, and simply waited for her to announce that she wanted me to- 

“Sit down. Please.” 

That... wasn’t what I was expecting, neither in content nor in tone. She was... uncommonly quiet. Gentle, even - I could hardly refuse, so I walked past her to the rim of the fountain, and sat upon the cold stone.

The steady burbling of the fountain formed a barrier in which silence could not invade the space between us - and thus became the background music of this impromptu, understated play of ours.  I didn’t know how they kept it running in the winter, but I was thankful for this watery melody regardless. As I sat, I was dimly aware of the water spraying against my back, and the patch of cold ice that I felt on my thigh through my slacks - but the commanding presence who sat herself beside me drew more of my attention.

“Trainer... No, Katsuo.” Opera O said, her words steady and quiet, “Do you remember what I said when you scouted me?” 

This... was this the real her? For a moment, I thought that Opera had somehow been replaced with an impostor, but... no, instead, I was being allowed a glimpse behind the curtain. Somehow, the face of the young woman who I had spent the last five years working with gained a decade of age, weariness weighing down upon her that she didn’t allow to show to anyone- not even herself.

“I... Sorry, I don’t. These past five years have been something of a blur...” I mumbled out, pained to disappoint Opera with my non-answer.

“You said to me... that I had made you believe in my dream. That you would dedicate yourself to the cause of the Overlord.” Opera took a steady breath. “And in you I saw... someone who was so terribly afraid of the path before him, but wished to tread it anyway. I saw incredible, indomitable courage- courage that an Overlord would need at her side.”

“Despite everything, despite all the setbacks, you believed in me when nobody else would, Katsuo.” She continued. “And your bravery gave me the strength to live my dream. To become Overlord.”

I... didn’t really know what to say to any of that. “I- You really shouldn’t give me so much credit-”

“You doubt yourself often, but when I saw your eyes, there was a fire in them.” Opera interrupted my self-deprication. “In you I saw...” Opera paused, looking for the correct words. “A competitor.”

“A competitor?” I quirked an eyebrow, puzzled at how she could have possibly seen this within me - how she could have possibly held any of these opinions about me. A coward like me, unable to even hold eye contact with the lunchlady, being praised by the Overlord for his courage of all things?

“When you watched a race, there was hunger in your eyes. You couldn’t run on the track yourself, so instead you worked yourself ragged at your desk, in the library. Researching, tirelessly, searching for the path that the Overlord ought to take.” TM Opera O’s words struck me to the core, and I laughed bitterly.

“I... You noticed, huh?” I scratched the back of my head, trying to make my weary, bitter wheezing sound like a nervous laugh instead. “You know, a friend of mine once said the same thing about me...”

“Is that so?” Opera asked, her voice full of genuine curiosity. “Do tell.”

“I-” I fumbled over my words. This was an embarrassing story to tell, but if Opera O was breaking character like this to try and connect with me at the end of her Twinkle Series career, then... I really would be a coward and a blackguard if I were to shy away now, at her most genuine. “When... I was a kid. A friend of mine, he made fun of me. He said I looked jealous of the Umamusume who were running, and...”

I laughed again, louder this time, more bitter. “And, well, who wouldn’t be, right? You’re faster, stronger, prettier, better in... pretty much every way! Really, it’s a wonder that you don’t rule the world-” I caught myself- “Or- rather, that Umamusume didn’t already rule the world before your reign...”

Opera O laughed good-naturedly, as though to tell me that my supplications were unnecessary. “Rather foolish of him to identify in you a competitor’s spirit and mistake that quality for a weakness. Are you sure this boy was a friend of yours?”

“Ah, well, he was really the only one willing to put up with me-” I stammered out. “But that’s, um, unimportant- It’s not like I could ever... run like an Umamusume anyway. Or even compete in mens’ sports, really. I wasn’t the most athletic kid, and I’m definitely not the most athletic adult-”

“So instead you found a different way to compete.” Opera O smiled, though there was a sadness in her eyes. “That’s... a shame, actually. I would have liked to have someone like you by my side in my battle against the Ultimate Generation.”

“But you have Doto, don’t you?” I immediately protested. “And Ayabe!”

“Have you not heard the phrase, ‘The more the merrier’?” Opera O offered with a grin. “Though, I did have you, if not as a rival. Still...” Opera O took a deep breath. “The reason I asked you was... to thank you. You helped me achieve my dream, Katsuo.”

I winced. Here it comes- this was where she would finally part ways with me. It was clear that I couldn’t take her any further. Cold air rushed between my teeth as I took a sharp breath in to prepare for the worst.

“Now, I ask... what is yours?”

“You’re right, we- huh?” My answer was completely incongruent to the question she had actually asked me.

We both stared at one another, somewhat dumbfounded at the complete miscommunication - and then, she broke into a fit of laughter.

“HAAA HA HA HA HA!” Opera O’s trademark laugh bellowed through the evening air, echoing through the empty plaza. “My apologies! It seems neither of us were prepared for that question- perhaps we ought to try that again! So, I ask you- what is your dream?”

Her weariness faded away, and that almost supernatural air of confidence and joy and life started flowing around her again - not as part of her character, but just as part of who she was. Even at her most sincere, she simply could not help but share this love of life of hers with those around her. Even those who didn’t deserve it.

“I... Well, my dreams don’t really matter.” I fumbled out, caught off-guard. “That’s why I became a-”

“Nonsense!” Opera O objected, a growing grin on her face as she attempted to goad me into being swept up in her ecstatic, infectious madness once again. “Are you disputing your Overlord, who has deemed your dreams to be of utmost importance? If you did not have dreams, would we have met upon that fated day, in this very square? I think not! So, I ask again- What are your dreams, Katsuo?”

“I-” I hesitated at the precipice, afraid to speak into reality something that I could not possibly follow up on. But the words slipped from my lips unbidden- “I want to win the Triple Tiara!” A childhood dream. A silly dream. An impossible dream. One I had already tried to live vicariously through others and soundly failed - But TM Opera O had already made me believe in her impossible dream, so part of me couldn’t help but start believing in my own as well.

“HAAAA HA HA HA HA!” Opera O bellowed. “A dream most worthy- but one that I cannot achieve for you! To achieve this, we will have to part ways, as trainer and Umamusume- are you prepared to do what it takes to reach for this dream?”

“Yes!” I lied, swept up in Opera O’s madness once again. I didn’t want to leave her side, to go back to being who I was before I met her- I knew that I would be nothing without this derangement she inflicted upon me, but now that same insanity compelled me to speak the words that would force us apart. “I... I can find a new trainee this year! We can take on the Triple Tiara together!” I desperately tried to backpedal and justify myself.

“Very good!” Opera O beamed at me, proud of the liar before her. “With my dream fulfilled, it is now my dream to fulfill yours! Stand up with me, Trainer, and we shall proclaim our dream to sun as it sets upon the final evening of the old year!”

True to her word, Opera O jumped to her feet, then swiftly turned around and clambered up onto the edge of the fountain where she had been sitting not moments ago. She looked down at me, clearly expecting me to join her.

I ought to have been taken aback, but I was still fully caught up in her energy, so without thinking I did the same as her. I carefully climbed up onto the edge of the fountain and turned around- it felt higher up than it really should have, mostly because we weren’t supposed to be standing on the fountain’s edge like this...

“Now!” TM Opera O exclaimed as the sun approached the horizon. “Make your dedication! Entrust your vow to the sun, who shall carry it into the new year!”

“I-” I stuttered, trying to find the wherewithal within me to either put a stop to this or find the courage to go along with this madcap scheme. “I’m going to, uh, find a trainee and try to win-”

“The sun shall not hear such halfhearted declarations, Katsuo-kun!” Opera O interrupted, chiding me once again for my cowardice. “Again! Louder! Shout at the top of your lungs, so that the sun will be forced to hear!”

“I-” I stumbled over my words again. “We’re... going to win the Triple Tiara!” What the hell was I doing...? I was lucky to have gotten to leech off of Opera O’s success. Any trainee worth their salt would immediately peg me as a mediocre trainer at best. Nobody would even look at me during tryouts. This was impossible.

“An admirable attempt, but not enough!” Opera O grinned madly. “But worry not, I am by your side! Now, with me! Put everything into it!” Opera O pulled in a deep breath.

I followed her lead.

I filled my lungs with air to the point where I thought they might burst.

I shut out all outside noise- the fountain, my heart rattling in my ears, the birds, the wind.

I thought about Opera O, and her insane amount of faith in me- a mediocre trainer who never deserved her attention, never mind admiration...

But, if the Opera O that I believed in wholeheartedly, who could do anything- if she believed in me, it made me want to believe too. It made me want to believe that together, we could do anything. We could do the impossible. We could shout at the rain and force it to stop. We could pierce the heavens themselves. We could bend reality itself to our whims- for if it did not suit the Overlord, then reality itself would recognize its error and bow to accommodate her, the rightful ruler of all the world!

TM Opera O believed it was possible. Therefore, it was.

“I’M GOING TO WIN THE TRIPLE TIARA!”

I bent backwards as I poured my soul into this declaration- in the impossible, vain hope that somehow, it would be true. That TM Opera O would make it possible. Perhaps it was less of a declaration, and more of a prayer.

As I opened my eyes, I was not greeted with the sun accepting my vow, but the sky. My senses caught up with me- rushing wind. A momentary slip. Vertigo.

Black.

-----

Black, cold water. Endless. And yet... it felt strangely comforting.

Fool that I was, reaching for that which was forever beyond my grasp, I had overstepped my bounds and fell for my hubris like Icarus before me. Was this the afterlife, then? Had I fallen into the fountain, hit my head and died?

My eyes felt like they were closed, but I could still see around myself, in a way. The waters were black, but not... lightless. Stars floated all around me - not stars as I saw them in the sky, distant dots of light, but tiny, floating, singular points. Ephemeral. Fragile. I reached out to clasp my fingers around one, only to feel the water push against me, through my hands, and push the tiny pinprick of light out of my grasp.

I remembered, then, that I was underwater- I flailed my arms, gasped for air- but even opening my mouth produced nothing, not even cold water rushing into my lungs. It was as if I didn’t even have a mouth at all... but I still felt something in its place.

I did not have much time to process my confusion as I heard a voice - soft, feminine, unlike anyone (or anything) I had heard before. It reverberated through this space, sounding distant but clear.

“Fate has not been kind to you.”

It... really hadn’t. Not only had I been unlucky enough to not be born an Umamusume, I didn’t even have the talent to be a good trainer. The one good thing to ever happen to me - TM Opera O - was also my downfall, it seemed- not that I truly minded. It would doubtless have been downhill from here no matter what I did. I would have faded from history anyway, a footnote in the Overlord’s story- it was better to get it over with quickly, then.

“Is that your earnest wish?”

What? 

“To fade away.”

I... hesitated. No. It would be horrible to burden Opera O with this- to end her last year with the death of someone who she cherished.

“I don’t want to fade away either.”

... Even an empty husk like me still had things I wanted to do. I hadn’t lied when I said my dream was to win the Triple Tiara- even if I was lying to myself and Opera O about it being even remotely possible. But wanting and being able to were different things...

“Your dream is the same as mine...”

Wait- who even was this? Who was talking to me? How did they know about my dream- was this the sun?

“We’re the same. Fate rejected both of us. I... was not even supposed to be able to come this far. I’m not supposed to be here. Not allowed.”

Was this it, then? In my final moments, I was comforted by a kindred spirit- a fellow failure? What a pathetic end.

“... No. It doesn’t have to be the end, for either of us. We can still achieve our dream, if we work together, in this world beyond the possible...”

Was this Opera O talking? No, the voice didn’t sound like hers. Not even remotely. It felt... half-real. Barely there.

“Ours is a cruel fate. I’m here too early... Or too late? Is... that okay?”

Definitely not Opera O. Opera O would never hesitate or ask for permission.

“Will we try anyway?”

... Oh, what the hell. If I’m dying and this is a hallucination, or a last visitation by a spirit, then I might as well humor it.

I reached out towards the source of the voice, as best I could discern its direction. I tried to mouth a simple ‘yes’, though even my voice seemed to have left me.

“Thank you. And... I’m sorry.”

A pinprick of light floated into my hand, and searing white entered my body.

-----

White.

Cold. Blue, deep blue, the color of sky and the setting sun- Cold. Orange, I recognize it as hair. A panicked voice. Familiar. Cold. The air bites at the skin, sinks its teeth into the flesh. Cold. Find warmth.

The world is blurry. I clutch at myself as best I can, try to keep my body heat inside. Move the muscles. Spend fuel. Generate heat. My own body feels alien somehow. A familiar sensation experienced in an unfamiliar way. I am lifted upwards. There is motion, but trying to make sense of it makes me dizzy. I twist my ears to try and better hear the voice. The cold keeps me from listening. The cold keeps me from moving the muscles. Or is it even cold? It’s nothing. Numb. I’m so tired. I’m so...

...

When I finally blink awake, I am on something soft. Searing sensation fills my body- pain in places I didn’t even know I had, but it’s something other than the cold, which brings me relief. I looked around blearily - Dim light. Gray walls. Blankets and dust. Was this some sort of storage room? I hadn’t been in here since I’d helped Opera with making a statue of herself for-

“Opera!”

I suddenly snapped awake, finally processing everything that had just happened - I’d fallen into the fountain while Opera and I were making our declaration- oh, Goddesses, she must feel horrible!

Before I could even think about looking around for Opera O, though, a sharp yelp reached my ears- followed by something rubbery and hot slapping me in the face.

I sat there in stunned silence as the hot water bottle slid off of my face, bounced off of my chest, and flopped onto my lap. “Awawawa!” Came the distinct cry of one Meisho Doto, Opera O’s longtime friend and rival- who had apparently been helping Opera O in her time of need by tending to my hypothermia. “I-I’m so soweee!” She blubbered, rushing to grab the bottle off of my lap before any more damage could be done - knowing her, the bottle would somehow spring a leak if she didn’t. “You just, wokkup anny got startled an- wait, you’re awake!”

Meisho Doto was, if nothing else, masterful at exclaiming the obvious - even if she struggled to enunciate it sometimes.

“Opera O, she’s, um- Should I-” Doto fussed, stumbling over her words, turning to find TM Opera O and call her over- only to find that Opera was standing right behind her, still wearing her signature racewear. It was stained by something, around the sleeves and skirt. She’d jumped into the water after me. Of course she did.

Contrition was an uncommon expression for Opera O, and while I did sense some level of that, there was... something else, hidden in the layers of what her face showed. Within her, there howled a tumultuous storm of emotions that she dared not allow to the surface- doubt, fear, confusion... and wide-eyed wonder, most of all, as though the Centurial Overlord had seen something even she thought was absurd. She simply stared at me wordlessly, speechless for once in her life.

“It’s... okay, Opera. I shouldn’t have slipped,” My voice sounded... strange. I tried to clear my throat and laughed it off. My usual self-deprecation wasn’t taking the tension out of the air, for some reason. “It’s... okay. C’mon, what, did I come out of the fountain with my head on backwards or something...?”

Opera’s eyes flicked downwards, looking me over. For a moment, I worried that my figure of speech might’ve been literal. “I think you should see for yourself, Katsuo.”

For reasons I could not describe at that moment, that name rankled me deeply, as though somehow Opera had just gotten my name wrong. Like it wasn’t even close. She fiddled with her phone for a moment as Doto scrunched up her face, trying to process something. “W-wait, Opera- Katsuo? As in... Trainer Matsuo?!” Wait, why was she so surprised? I’d literally talked to her not three days ago, did she forget what I looked like or-

That train of thought was interrupted as Opera handed me her smartphone, in camera mode. Selfie mode, to be specific. It took me a moment to realize this, because what was staring back at me was not my face, but the face of a beautiful Umamusume.

She looked healthy enough, if slightly pale and tired. Her ears were flicking back and forth as she studied the camera. Her eyes were a brilliant tyrian purple, like Opera’s, but her face was completely different- rounder, softer. Her hair was long, too, and it was a soft and warm blonde as opposed to Opera’s orange, though there was still a shock of sunset-orange in the center of her forehead. At the ends, the color gave way to a dreamy white. Her hair was completely unstyled- as though it was hastily dried after getting wet.

She looked confused.

I looked confused.

I shouted in surprise as I dropped the phone into my lap, prompting Doto to yelp in turn and Opera to recoil slightly. I scrambled to pick up the phone again, only for the hand that reached out to not be mine, the arm to not be the hairy and gray-skinned wreck of a human’s, but the delicate, graceful hand and arm of an Umamusume.

I looked down. My chest was... a woman’s. Not as large as Doto’s, but... sizable. Unmistakable. Feminine. For a half-second, I considered grabbing them just to see if they were real, but I was thankfully cognizant of the fact that I was not alone in this room.

I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or scream- Terror? Joy? Bewilderment? Relief? A thousand questions accompanied a thousand emotions as I sat paralyzed with a singular, all-consuming realization.

“Our dreams are possible.”

Those words came out of my mouth, but I hadn’t said them. But... they were in my voice. My new voice. Her voice, that I’d heard, in the water, I realized. That was my voice now.

I laughed. At first, a low chuckle- bereft of my usual bitterness - and quickly, it escalated to mad, howling, manic laughter as I laughed and sobbed and laughed and bawled. My hands clutched at my face, desperately, selfishly trying to contain this flood pouring out of me. This... this couldn’t possibly be real. This was some sort of cruel trick, a hallucination of my dying brain, right? There’s no way this was real. It was impossible.

TM Opera O stood there in shock next to Doto, neither of them were even remotely sure what to make of me, or if I’d gone completely off the deep end... But TM Opera O still stood there, by my side. TM Opera O had believed my dream could be real.

So it was.

It was just that simple.

“Katsuo-” Goddesses I hated that name, and Opera flinched as she noticed my ears flatten for that split-second after I’d heard it. She started again, carefully. Delicately. “Are you... okay? I- I apologize, I ought to have brought you to the infirmary, but - This situation, I was unsure what to make of it, and thought perhaps it would be best to keep it secret.”

I was still laughing. I just- everything was so overwhelming right now. I felt like all the colors in the world were so much more vivid, like I was so much more alive- that I didn’t have to leech off of the aura that emanated off of my trainee anymore just to feel like a complete person. That sensation was mine now, it was innate. I felt every thread in the linen I was sitting on, heard every sound just outside the bounds of the storeroom, felt the silence of winter nights, felt my tail twitch impatiently as it tried to free itself and express my exultation for all to see. I felt young in a way that I didn’t know I remembered, I felt so full of energy that I wanted to jump to my feet, kiss these women on their lips, and run out the door to chase the sun and thank it for this incredible gift-

I needed to get it together. I was hyperventilating. Manic. I needed to slow down... I took a deep breath- deeper than I’d ever been able to take with my human lungs. The air smelled stale. Like fresh linen and long-unused chairs. Like the trembling moments before a gathering, and the weary hours of cleanup afterwards. It was bracing. It was grounding.

“I think... I’ve never been better, Opera. And I don’t think that’s my name anymore.”

Opera exchanged another wary, unsure glance with her companion, but slowly regained her composure. “... Very well, then. By what shall we call you, my friend?”

The answer left my lips before I could even stop to think of what my name was. But I already knew the answer- we already knew the answer. It was an impossible name. One that wasn’t allowed to exist, but did anyway.

“Joie de Vivre.”

Chapter 2: ... The Promise of Dawn

Summary:

Wait, who are you, and how did you get in here?

“So... let me get your story straight, Opera.” Symboli Rudolf took in a sharp breath and pinched the bridge of her nose to express her complete and utter exasperation. 

We were standing in her office - The Emperor’s office. We were summoned here first thing in the morning - I barely had time to process the events of the previous day myself. Sure, we were not necessarily here of our own volition, but... It was still a very nice office. I had never had an opportunity to welcome myself inside, or inspect the fine wooden grain of the office decor, or... Well, I wasn’t here to make myself at home. Quite the opposite, really, with the upbraiding that Opera O was getting- and by extension myself.

“So, you had a sudden falling-out with your trainer of five years, Matsuo Katsuo-” I tried as hard as I could to suppress any visible signs of anger and revulsion upon hearing that name, but hearing it just felt so... wrong. Like someone was saying something utterly ridiculous, claiming that the sky was pink or that ice was hot. “- Who, out of nowhere, claimed that you had completely burnt him out of racing and he was done with his career as a trainer. Despite the fact that he has yet to tender his resignation?”

“Indeed!” TM Opera O’s sparkling voice rang throughout the room as she affected a dramatic pose, holding her hand to her forehead. “I agree, ‘tis rather sudden- Alas, it seems that one can only weather the radiance of the Overlord for so long - for as the sun’s nourishing light can grow harsh and withering, it seems that so too can mine! If only I were to have seen the signs beforehand, I may have been able to-”

“I see,” Even those two words- they were forceful. Electric. The Emperor’s presence froze Opera and I, cutting off Opera’s ramblings before they became too fanciful- Rudolf knew well how to deal with Opera’s eccentricities by this point (perhaps even better than I did) and it seemed that today, she had left the kid gloves at home. “And after Trainer Matsuo-” I noticed Rudolf’s violet eyes lock with mine for a moment as I suppressed my flinch as best I could - “Stormed off, you claim that... Joie de Vivre here ran into the square and leapt into the fountain for reasons that neither of you can remember?”

“Really, it was quite the shocking sight!” Opera affected her dramatic pose again. “An umamusume whom I had never seen- diving straight into the fountain as though possessed by some outside force! Is that not right, Joie?”

“I, um-” My tail swished as I realized it was my turn to speak up. “I must have been... drunk, or something... So very sorry for inconveniencing you both...” I bowed as deeply as I dared, but... some part of me couldn’t bring myself to take my eyes off of Rudolf. It was disrespectful, but I feared that if I looked away, she might pull out a blade and gut me, or strike me down with a bolt of lightning. I couldn’t describe it any other way- she had an aura of such intensity that you simply could not take your eyes off her. No matter what.

“Right.” Rudolf huffed, clearly unamused by my halfhearted display. “So... Joie de Vivre, how did you get past our security, then?”

“I, um,” I stammered out, not expecting to have to plug this hole in the story. Damn it, Opera! “I... don’t remember? I was drunk, after all...”

“Right. You were drunk? Like a human? Despite the fact that Umamusume cannot become impaired by alcohol, barring extremely exceptional circumstances?”

Shit, how’d I forget that?!

“I, um,” I laughed nervously, fidgeting with the skirt of the ill-fitting uniform that Opera had lent me. “I... have a medical condition?”

She was not buying any of this we are so fucked it’s not even funny

“So, Opera,” Rudolf continued as her eyes snapped to my (former?) trainee. I felt an invisible weight lift from my chest as soon as she did, and could finally breathe again- as well as this ill-fitting uniform could allow. “You saw this drunk umamusume somehow dodge campus security so masterfully that they were completely unaware as to her presence, and then plunge herself into the fountain. Following this, you alerted absolutely nobody, decided not to call an ambulance, and instead carried a complete stranger and intruder to your dormitory’s storeroom instead of the infirmary.”

“Ah, but my duty is to all of my subjects,” Opera O affected once again, though I could tell that even she was starting to realize that we’d dug ourselves into a pit from which there was no escape- and bless her heart, she decided that if we couldn’t climb out, she would simply have to dig through to the other side of the world. “Indeed, it is the Overlord’s duty- nay, my pleasure to personally see to the safety and happiness of all my subjects, no matter where they are, or what they may have done!”

“And,” Rudolf added, “Instead of escorting her home, or calling for a Tracen official to escort her off the premises once she recovered, or any sensible course of action at all, you instead elected to have her stay in the storage room and hope nobody noticed?”

She kinda had us there. I’d been woken up in the early hours of the morning by Fuji Kiseki demanding to know who I was and why I was sleeping in their storage room, and in retrospect this particular move was a massive blunder- not that we really had any better ideas at the time. Staying in the infirmary would have gotten me caught even faster by the medical staff, and sleeping in Opera’s room was completely out of the question. Biwa Hayahida (Opera’s roommate) would have had no tolerance for that whatsoever and ratted us out immediately.

“Aha, well- She was in such a state by the time she awoke from her slumber, that even were we to pry from her the location of her home, we would be breaking curfew to bring her there,” Opera lied, knowing exactly where it was that I lived. “And she was so struck by the cold, and her clothes ruined by her dive- I couldn’t send her off wearing my own precious uniform, could I?”

This thing really did not fit me. It was distracting just how much it pressed against my chest- I felt like I constantly had to take half-breaths, lest I rip Opera O’s spare uniform apart. And yet, despite being too small, It was also too large- despite Opera already being fairly short, I was now somehow even shorter, by what I could only guess to be 10 or so centimeters. It was strange, feeling this tiny - not a bad kind of strange, but strange nonetheless.

“Opera O, I’m going to be frank with you,” Symboli Rudolf closed her eyes and took a steadying breath, before they snapped back open and the room stood still. “You would have been better off claiming that your trainer had somehow turned into an Umamusume than this fanciful series of events you have described. Do you even know how many rules you would have broken were this story the truth? This is an unacceptable breach of the Academy’s trust and code of conduct.” One more steadying breath. “I am going to give you one more chance to explain, in full, as to why I should not call the director right now and have your privilege to participate in the Dream Leagues permanently revoked.”

The pressure coming from Rudolf was overwhelming. I didn’t know her to be type to joke around, but she was deadly serious right now. It was almost as though a thundercloud was emanating from her, threatening to envelop the both of us.

“A-Ah, well, that’s the thing, neither of us truly know how it happened-” Opera O stammered, desperately trying to find her footing. “She simply slipped into the fountain, and came out diff-”

Opera froze mid-sentence, realizing that she had completely and utterly messed up.

I froze, my face a picture-perfect portrait of panic. I didn’t even know the Overlord could misspeak, never mind completely contradict the entire story she had crafted in a single sentence. Was the Emperor’s presence so overwhelming that it had somehow gotten to her, too?! Or was it how Rudolf threatened Opera’s shot at the Dream Series that made her come clean?

Rudolf froze... pleasantly surprised.

It was Rudolf’s laughter that broke the ice that had formed between us, shattered the air and allowed us all to move again.

“I had offered that scenario in jest, but I did not expect you to actually run with it- Perhaps guessing at the truth made you slip up?” Rudolf’s demeanor softened, and that dark cloud which had been choking the life out of Opera receded. “Jests aside... I get the feeling that somehow, that was the first true thing you’ve said to me today.”

“H-how did you know?!” Opera stammered out, completely caught off-guard.

“First of all, Opera... You are an excellent actor, but a terrible liar.” Rudolf smiled - not a sinister smile, but a genuine and warm one. I could hardly believe that this was the same umamusume who was grilling us for answers not moments ago. “Second of all... Tazuna never saw Trainer Matsuo-” that damn name again-  “leave the premises last night, and she keeps extensive records. In fact, we had been looking for him.” My stomach twisted- I lived off-campus, so of course they would suspect foul play if I had never left the academy... And while I couldn’t quite recall why, I had the feeling I knew exactly how extensive Tazuna’s records were.

“Third of all... Joie de Vivre flinches whenever I mention his name.” Rudolf locked eyes with me. “Unless you mean to tell me that you have some other history with Matsuo Katsuo-”

“Don’t call me that.” 

The words slipped from my mouth, an almost feral snarl. Every time I heard that name, it was like nails on chalkboard, like glass on pavement. It drove me up the wall and made me want to scream in fury. I had been suppressing it as best I could, but my patience could only go so far.

Rudolf herself almost looked taken aback for a moment by my outburst. “... I see. My apologies, then. Please, grab a seat- and once more from the top. Please explain to me what happened, Joie.”

There was nothing we could hide from the all-seeing gaze of the Emperor. Even the Centurial Overlord seemed shriveled up and tiny, cowed by her overwhelming presence as I told her everything- the entire truth. The conversation we’d had in that plaza. The vow we made to the sun, which led to my slip, and then... the dark waters. The voice. The dream we shared. This part of the story, even Opera hadn’t heard yet - and I was too focused on keeping eye contact with Rudolf to gauge Opera’s reaction to that part.

After that... Opera took over, since I didn’t know the rest. As quick as anything, she got back into character and regaled the Emperor with the tale of how the Centurial Overlord rescued her beloved trainer from the wintery waters of a fountain, brought her to safety, and was completely shocked to find that in all the panic, she had barely noticed how her trainer had become an Umamusume in that brief time she was submerged in the water.

Rudolf placed a hand on her chin, taking all of this in. “Well... To suddenly grow a tail like that makes for quite the fanciful tale,” Rudolf began, “But again, I get the sense that neither of you are lying. Quite frankly, It makes more sense that your earlier story was a desperate attempt to cover up this one... However, I have to ask. Why didn’t you ask for anyone else’s help, other than Doto’s?”

“Ah, well...” TM Opera O struggled to find a way to spin this- produce a version of the tale where she hadn’t just panicked because something actually impossible had actually happened in front of her. “I hope you understand that this was an exceedingly unusual situation, and I could only confide the complete truth in my most trusted knight- for who else would believe such a fanciful tale, as you so eloquently put it yourself? And, well- I don’t quite understand how it happened myself, so how could I hope to explain in the heat of the moment-”

“Opera.” I spoke up. “It’s okay.”

Opera turned to me and blinked, though quickly a practiced smile spread across her face. “Whatever do you mean, Joie?”

Even now, she wouldn’t pull back that curtain again. That moment by the fountain was the only time I was allowed a glimpse behind it? When we were about to part ways? Fine. Instead, I would play her game, with her own rules. I had learned them well enough in the past five years.

“Opera... It happened because of you.”  I took her by the hand and held her tight. A smile, similar to hers, crept across my own face- not one that I practiced, but one that came naturally.  “Because we made our vow to the setting sun. Because you believed in my dream.” My smile grew wider as I allowed that energy of hers- that energy of mine, that madness to fill my body. I said the most absurd things in the world with absolute conviction, because there was simply no way they could not be true. “You made it happen, my Overlord. You rewarded my loyalty with the greatest gift anyone could possibly give, and now my dreams are possible. I can win the Triple Tiara.”

Opera O took a moment to process what I was saying, before breaking into her uproarious laugh. “HAAAA HA HA HA! I suppose I did, Joie- Together, we made a vow so strong, with such burning conviction rivaling the sun itself, that not even your birthright dared stand in the way! Indeed, the time was right for new beginnings, upon that most auspicious of evenings - and the sun recognized our might as its equal, and bore our wish most true!”

She laughed once again, and I joined her. Our laughter formed a chorus of joy that filled the room. It felt so good to be alive right now.

Rudolf’s quick and quiet cough broke the both of us out of our revelry, and focused our attention back on her- but my brain still tingled with manic delight. She stared at us with a look that could only be described as ‘oh no, now there’s two of them’, before bringing a sheet of paper before us.

It was... a registration form?

“I think I’ve heard enough, then- your vows are settled, are they not?” She giggled to herself, laughing at some private joke. “Despite the unusual circumstances, you are an Umamusume- and it is my mission to make the dreams of all Umamusume come true. Including yours. So, if you wish to compete for the Triple Tiara... be my guest.” Rudolf’s smile returned- warm and genuine once again. It was incredible how she could fill the room with such warmth the same way she could freeze it ice-cold. Now I understood why Opera wanted to be like her - not just to emulate her success as a racer, but to command the air itself to complete stillness with nothing but a stern expression, and to allow it to flow freely once more with a relaxed smile - a smile which now faltered at my hesitation.

“Ah... Unless I have assumed incorrectly?” Rudolf tenuously drew the paper back. “I suppose I hadn’t quite considered the possibility that this transformation was unwanted-”

“No.” 

I spoke without meaning to, my hand all but slamming down onto the desk to keep this chance from slipping away from me. “I mean- No, I... I suppose I didn’t ask for it, but...” I searched inside myself to try and find the words.

“Looking at myself in Opera O’s phone, last night... I didn’t know what I was feeling at first, because I think I had forgotten what happiness even felt like. What it had felt like to dream. However it is that I’ve been given this gift, I do not intend to turn it away. I have to use this opportunity to live my dream.” I locked eyes with the Emperor- something that before, I would have rather died than attempt, but now I held on despite how terrifying it seemed. I waited for her to laugh in my face, to call me ridiculous... but instead, I saw something even more frightening.

A spark of recognition. Acknowledgement. Respect. And the most thrilling, incredible, horrible thing about it was that that briefest glimmer made my heart sing- not in a romantic sense, but in some other way. A way that wanted me to jump up from my seat and snarl and snort and grin at her, that wanted me to leave her in the dust as we ran for the horizon. Electricity crackled in the air, light poured in through the curtains, brighter than even the hottest summer day. A grin spread across her face, and laughter escaped her lips- not laughing at me, but with me. I had started laughing without even noticing.

“Very well, then! I shall take that as an enthusiastic ‘yes’ to your enrollment, Joie.” Rudolf composed herself. “This may be a completely unprecedented situation, but... For the sake of your dream, I’ll see what I can do for you.” Her smile faded as reality seeped back in. “However, due to the... suddenness and strangeness of all this, I must insist that before you submit this form, you see a specialist for a checkup- or rather, a full-body physical. Just because you have been gifted the body of an Umamusume does not mean you are race-ready - and I’m sure you don’t want to repeat Meisho Doto’s mistakes, correct?”

Opera and I both winced at that one. It hit a bit too close to home.

“Don’t worry.” Rudolf said with a calm and reassuring smile. “I know exactly who to refer you to. You won’t even have to leave Tracen to see her- and she can be trusted.”

Well, that was good. I stared at the paper in my hands as Rudolf finally let go of it... It wasn’t just a dream anymore. It was real. Last night wasn’t some dying fever dream, it... actually happened. Sure, I had the evidence of my eyes and ears and hands, but... a piece of paper, official documentation, a form to be filled out and signed made it feel so much more real. 

“Thank you,” I smiled again. “Thank you so much, Symboli Rudolf.”

Notes:

I've actually had a lot of this written up for a while and a friend of mine convinced me to make an account and post it! I'll be trickling in the written chapters over the next few days until I've caught up with what I've already written.

Chapter 3: Forest of Eyes

Summary:

I wish people would stop looking at me.

Symboli Rudolf was a dirty liar.

In what universe, in whose reality was Anges Tachyon of all people trustworthy? She had me tied to a chair, for crying out loud! Which I was doing!

“Ah... If you keep that up, my new guinea pig, this is only going to take longer.” The mad scientist threatened, her vermillion eyes leering at me from across the room. She was scrunched up onto her office chair, categorically refusing to sit on it like a normal person, instead hunched onto it like the demonic gargoyle creature that she was. “If you give me a headache with your shouting, then I’ll have to waste my precious research time procuring an anti-inflammatory.”

I snarled and struggled against my bonds. I was an Umamusume now- ten times stronger than a human, so how the hell was regular rope enough to hold me still?! My desperate thrashing was less out of outrage and more out of terror- Even when she wasn’t looking at me, I could still feel this... monster’s horrible eyes boring into me. Probing me for information, digging into me, finding weaknesses to exploit. Searching for the man inside the Umamusume- if he was even still there at all.

“It would be even more of a waste of time if you were to break my specially-treated rope, so stop that already,” Tachyon intoned with increasing annoyance. “Really, if you hate this so much, it would do you so many more favors to simply sit still and let me work. You already made me waste time restraining you in the first place, because you decided to bolt the moment you saw me.”

Really, could you blame me? Both for running from Tachyon, and then getting caught by Tachyon. Even after her retirement due to a bowed tendon, she was a monster. That brief chase in the hallway was somehow the most terrifying experience in my entire life, and I had nearly died just yesterday! Just... the overwhelming sensation of being chased, of something being behind me, catching up to me, my utter helplessness... Really, the only reason TM Opera O had lost to Manhattan Cafe instead of Agnes Tachyon was probably because Tachyon was never going to be in that race.

I idly wondered if Opera O could’ve outrun Tachyon if she were in my place. Then I remembered I’m supposed to be mad at her, for leaving me to die, for laughing as Tachyon dragged me in here to perform her horrible experiments... 

By which I meant examination. Mostly just poking and prodding and staring with those scanline eyes of hers. She hadn’t actually made me drink anything. Yet.

“Hehehehe... Remarkable. Truly remarkable!” The creature madly giggled from her throne of lies as she pored over her data. “Yes, from Rudolph’s description alone, you were a remarkable specimen indeed- a human, a man turned into an Umamusume? Truly ingenious! I could not imagine a better way to test the horizons of Umamusume- in fact, I’m jealous I didn’t think of it myself!”

She had a point. It was better to give up the pointless struggling- Rudolf wanted, for whatever reason, for Tachyon to be the one to preside over this examination. Even if I’d somehow broken free, jumped out the window, and survived the fall, Rudolf would still be badgering me to get back in here before I was allowed to register for the Twinkle Series.

“Why the cold shoulder?” Tachyon twisted her head around, lolling it backwards to stare at me upside-down, a too-wide grin warping her face like some kind of yokai. I shuddered. “Are you not curious as to what makes you such a remarkable specimen, guinea pig?”

“I... have a good idea already,” I tried, eager to get this over with as fast as possible. If fighting wasn’t an option, maybe indulging her would work?

“Wrong,” Tachyon said, spinning her chair around to face me. Even when she did so, she seemed more like an indistinct, umamusume-shaped blob, her tangled form hidden inside that massive labcoat she wore at all times. “What you already know is that you are a man turned umamusume, which is interesting on its own, but what makes you remarkable is that you went from a man approaching middle age to a girl barely breaking into adulthood. Do you feel any body dysphoria, inhabiting such a form so drastically different from your own?”

“That body wasn’t mine.”

Tachyon giggled madly- I hated her laugh. It was sickly, tittering, unlike mine and Opera’s, which were bellows full of strength. When we laughed, it was a declaration of impossible joy in a world full of anguish, rather than her lilting litany of mad obsession. “My oh my, Such a fiery declaration! So, you felt dysphoria before the transformation, then? How utterly fascinating! Is that perhaps a component in your metamorphosis?”

“Eugh. Don’t use that word, it makes me feel like some kind of bug...” I grimaced.

Naturally, whatever I thought about her particular choice in phrasing didn’t matter to all at her. Her questions weren’t even for me to answer - she was asking her future self, who would figure out all the riddles she posed shortly. Why she bothered voicing them at all was a question for the Three Goddesses, and whoever screwed up badly enough to unleash this thing upon the world.

Though, as I sat there, strapped to this chair, I couldn’t deny one observation of hers - that rush of euphoria I had felt upon realizing that was me in that phone, that overwhelming joy that bordered on insanity... Before that moment, I was a hollow being, drifting through life, drifting along in the wake of TM Opera O. It could hardly even be said that I was her trainer- more like a tumbleweed. I couldn’t even remember what I did for her that made her keep me around. Was that hollowness... dysphoria? There was a word for it?

“Tachyon, what does dysphoria mean?” I asked, naively believing she would actually give me an answer- and promptly surprised when she actually bothered to do so, though she didn’t so much as turn to face me as she continued slamming away at her keyboard.

“A word from ancient Greece," Tachyon recited, “the opposite of Euphoria, from root words meaning ‘difficult to bear’. Characterized as a profound state of unease or dissatisfaction... Though, in modern parlance, it primarily refers to the gender variety- the pain of seeing an incongruity between your physical form and the form you wish to have based upon your gender identity.”

“Most suffer it on some level,” Tachyon continued as I listened. “Umamusume who wish their bodies were more or less muscular, more or less feminine. Men who buy into scams to save their receding hairlines, or women who pad their bras to appear as though they have bigger breasts, all driven by a sense that they ought to look different... But the most extreme cases, the most profound, are women who wish they had been born men, or men who wish they had been born women.”

“Or men who wish they were born Umamusume...” I concluded, realization slowly dawning.

That childhood dream. To win the Triple Tiara- not to raise a trainee to race in the Triple Tiaras, but to race in it myself. To be up there alongside those umamusume. To be as strong and fast and graceful and beautiful as they were.

“... An impossible dream. And without that dream, I had become a hollow shell. Barely even living life. Can I even claim to have lived for 30 years, if most of that was spent in a dysphoric haze? I can barely even remember that time at all now...”

“Oh? Memory loss? That’s new.” Tachyon’s vermillion eyes, suddenly way too close to my face, shocked me out of my contemplation. Was I saying my thoughts aloud? Shit. I clammed up again. “No, no, keep going. This is vital to my research. Hee he he he...” That horrible giggle again. It made my skin crawl - that my experiences were being reduced to data points for her.

“But you are wrong again, my new guinea pig,” Tachyon tittered as I refused to indulge her with my thoughts, “Your dream was not impossible, else you would not be here in my lab!”

... She had a point there, much as I wanted to disagree purely because of how annoying she was about it. Still, that part about the memory loss... was actually rather troubling. I tried to think about my experiences as a Trainer, my coworkers, my time spent with them... But all that came out was an indistinct haze. Shapes seen through mist, as though it wasn’t real. A half-remembered dream- the kind you have when you’re asleep, not the kind you aspire to when awake. I tried to draw on those experiences that I knew I had, but just... couldn’t.

The only solid points that I could anchor myself to were my childhood- My dreams... and the last five years. TM Opera O’s dreams. Everything else might as well have not happened at all.

I felt an indescribable sense of loss from this, mixed with relief. Like a burden had been lifted from my shoulders.

Is this what my voice meant when she apologized to me at the last second? Who even was that voice? Was she my Umamusume self, being brought out by the Three Goddesses? Was she some otherworldly being, with whom I had made a pact? A hallucination, and it had nothing to do with any of this?

Well, if I was going to ask anyone these questions, it wasn’t going to be Tachyon. She was presently amusing herself by lightly tapping my knees with a hammer and watching my legs spasm inside her restraints. This was a woman utterly obsessed with the physical- whatever had happened to me was objectively beyond that.

“Hm, perhaps we should establish just how much you remember...” Tachyon turned to her computer. “What is two plus two?”

“Four,” I instantly answered with bemusement.

“Very good,” Tachyon cooed, like she were praising a child who was behind on her classwork. Infuriating woman. “Now, what’s twenty-five times six?”

Now that one, I had to think for a moment. “It’s um... a hundred and fifty?”

“Good, good. Basic addition and multiplication... Seventeen to the power of three?”

Okay, now she was just messing with me. “I couldn’t answer that off the top of my head even if I had learned it at some point!”

“Four-thousand, nine hundred, and thirteen,” Tachyon corrected me and upstaged me all at once, then tutted in disappointment. “My, my. Seems you’ve forgotten quite a lot of your basic maths. You’ll have to work on that.”

Basic?! Since when was rattling obscure exponents off the top of your head basic?!

“Your mother’s name?” Tachyon continued, not skipping a beat.

“Can we have this conversation without me tied up yet?” I sighed, dodging the question.

“Answer the question, guinea pig.” Tachyon insisted, not moving an inch from her spinning chair.

My first instinct was to name someone else entirely- but who, exactly, escaped me, so I begrudgingly rattled off my mother’s name. “... Matsuo Shizue,” I expected the name to taste like poison coming from my mouth, but it seemed the Matsuo name didn’t hurt quite so much, so long as I didn’t think of myself as the owner.

“Father?”

“Deadbeat.”

“What a strange name.” Tachyon giggled.

“Very funny,” I snarled. “I never knew him. Met him once when I was a teenager. He was an asshole who broke my mother’s heart and left her to fend for herself. I wanted nothing to do with him, so I never bothered learning his name.” I wanted to add on an openly hostile ‘stop laughing, you freak’, but I figured that’d be a bit too much.

Tachyon looked a bit taken aback at that, and quieted down. Was she actually... worried that she’d gone too far? No. There was no way Agnes Tachyon had any idea that other people were sapient entities, rather than just points on a spreadsheet.

“Profession prior to your transformation?” Tachyon asked, this time a bit more clinical and less carefree.

“Trainer. I remember that much.” I sighed, wanting this to end already.

“First year of your employment with Tracen?”

That’s easy, it was...

I opened my mouth to answer, but nothing came out. My mind was blank.

Furrowing my eyebrows, I dug deeper to try and remember. Sure, that wasn’t something most people kept track of, but it was easy to have a general idea of how long you worked somewhere, right? It was at least five years- that was Opera’s career. And before that, was...

... I couldn’t even remember a face. Or what races she was in. Or if she ever existed at all.

“Nothing?” Tachyon asked, a twinge of probably-fake concern layered on top of her voice.

I snorted in frustration. “... I don’t remember.”

Tachyon’s lips went thin with a grimace as she turned around to type that down.

For the next while, Tachyon bombarded me with all manner of questions - too many to truly bother recounting in their entirety, but as she plotted out my memories, her graph began to paint a picture. She had been slowly narrowing down the gaps in my memory, figuring out where the holes were. 

The last point I remembered before Opera O’s career was my thirteenth birthday- the moment the man calling himself my father tried to barge into my life and was rejected. Everything after that was gone. Even my memories of Opera’s career were spotty and indistinct, though I remembered everything about Opera O, Doto, Ayabe, and the other people who I had met along the way with vivid clarity. I remembered specific events, like Opera O losing to Grass Wonder at the Arima Kinen, or her sweeping the autumn triple crown the very next year - or Doto finally earning a victory against Opera at the Takarazuka Kinen. I could recall vivid memories about that, up to and including the words they exchanged in the green room, the smell of the racecourse food, the conditions of the track on those days...

But anything that I was doing? It’s like I wasn’t even there.

I had effectively forgotten my entire training career. Not that I thought there was much to forget in the first place.

“... Behold, guinea pig!” Tachyon slid aside to show me an unobstructed view of the chart she’d created on her computer screen. “It seems that not only in body, are you a young adult Umamusume, but also in mind- Or at the very least, all contradictory data has been scoured from your memory. Most fascinating indeed...”

“I still remember being a human boy,” I weakly objected. “Also, I’m still restrained.”

“Ah, but think back into your memories!” Tachyon bulldozed my protestations once more. “Yes, you remember that old identity in the abstract, but if you focus in on your role in those events, try to picture yourself in those situations- If you think back to that Oka Sho that inspired you all those years ago, and picture yourself in the crowd, what do you see?”

I was sick of humoring her at this point. There was no way she wasn’t done with the physical examination yet - at least to the point where Rudolf would be satisfied. What time even was it? I couldn’t turn my head to look outside the window or at the clock at this point, and the little number representing the time on Tachyon’s screen was too small for me to make out. I was starting to feel hungry- ravenously so, since Fuji Kiseki had ushered me into Rudolf’s office before breakfast. We had to have been at this for hours.

My futile squinting at the clock did not go unnoticed. “No, no, Vivre- close your eyes, picture yourself!” She repeated, clearly trying to goad me into testing some hypothesis of hers.

“Fine.” I grumbled, closed my eyes and tried to do as instructed before she just got a blindfold or something. I saw...

A girl, with brown hair and uma ears. She tugged at the skirt of her mother, who was an umamusume who I didn’t recognize but did. She was my mother. She had long, black hair. She stood next to a man I didn’t recognize, and her name was on the tip of my tongue-

My eyes snapped open. I was breathing heavily and sweating. I felt like I’d just looked at something I shouldn’t have.

“... I saw a boy,” I lied, not wanting to open that can of worms with Tachyon. “A boy stupidly wishing for an impossible dream. Please don’t make me do that again.”

“Hm,” Tachyon rumpled her face, her scanline eyes staring into my soul again in a way that made me want to curl up and die. She had to know I was lying, somehow- but if she did, she didn’t press me, and just flopped back into her chair. “So much for that, then. Well, if you are in need of nourishment...” Tachyon reached into a minifridge under her desk and pulled out some kind of shaker filled with what I could only describe as noxious green sludge. I swore I saw bits of fish swirling around in there, too...

“I’m not eating anything you give me, especially that.” I recoiled in disgust.

“You people and your inefficient meals,” Tachyon huffed. “Fine then. Off with you to the cafeteria, and report to the track within thirty minutes.” 

“We’re not done?!” I shouted in outrage.

“Of course not. We must assess whether you know how to run in that body, mustn’t we? You may use my spare tracksuit, located in... that desk over there,” Tachyon lazily pointed.

“... I’m still tied up, you know.” I sighed with bemusement. I had completely given up expecting this mad doctor to be even remotely reasonable, so I didn’t know why I continued to find ways to be disappointed.

“Have you tried simply pulling your limbs out of the rope?” Tachyon inquired.

Did she think I was stupid? Of course I’d tried that-

Oh.

-----

It took me a couple tries to find the desk to which Tachyon was referring- Her “Laboratory”, it seemed, was an ordinary classroom, desks and all, that the student council had deemed fit to let her monopolize for reasons beyond my comprehension. Surely this space could have been put to better use- perhaps for a club dedicated to media, or journalism, or underwater basket weaving, or anything that wasn’t this mad scientist’s schemes...

After that, I ducked inside a closet to change- not that I was in any real danger of Tachyon peeping, engrossed as she was in her research. Even if she was inclined to do so, then I was in a much more vulnerable position earlier where she could have done whatever she wanted and I was powerless to stop her. 

I quickly assumed that the reason that thought made my heart race was terror, and not any other emotion that was sneaking in there. Trainers were forbidden from dating Umamusume, after all.

Still, as I pulled the ill-fitting uniform off to put a different ill-fitting uniform on, I was treated to the sight of my borrowed underclothes - A set of of Doto’s (which I felt dirty wearing, but I was thoroughly assured she had never used these). It made me realize again just how... vulnerable I was now. Not just here, in this closet, but in general.

For the first time in my life, I felt like I could be desirable. That someone would look at me and see something other than a shambling homunculus dragging itself across the pavement like something out of a horror movie - and that meant that people would actually look at me, now, instead of just letting me blend into the background where I belonged.

I didn’t know how to feel about that. I didn’t want to have to process that right now. I had places to be. I hoped that the tracksuit would hide my new figure, somehow.

Tight in the chest, and still too big for me in all the ways Opera’s clothing was. Of course it was.

I shuffled out of the closet, and quickly excused myself from the room. Tachyon was busy poring over her data, and didn’t even acknowledge my departure.

Suits me just fine, I thought. The less I had to interact with this madwoman, the better.

Fortunately for me, I remembered enough about my time here that I still knew how to navigate the hallways. I passed a few students on my way there - most of them gave me nothing more than a passing glance, but passing though they were, each one felt like a knife. They all looked at me like they didn’t quite know what to make of me.

My timidity only grew as I approached the cafeteria. It was lunch time. The line of students and trainers alike nearly spilled out of the Cafeteria’s doorway, and even as the line advanced with speed that spoke wonders of the cafeteria staff’s efficiency, for every step forward the line took, another person took their place in the line.

I had done this before. All I had to do was keep a low profile. Act like I belonged here, and nobody would look at me twice. Keep my head down. Don’t cause a ruckus.

I summoned the bravery to step into the line, focused on the person in front of me- a trainer, it seemed. Taller than I was. Everyone was taller than I was. Did people used to be so huge? No- According to Tachyon’s measurements, I’d gone from 170 cm on the dot to only 144.8 cm. The old me would have been a full head taller. It made sense that everything seemed so big.

Focus, Joie. Just keep walking forward when this lady does. Right- Trainer. Long, brown hair. Wavy. Focus on her. Everything else doesn’t exist right now. It’s okay. Nobody’s looking at you.

She wore a suit-dress. Standard attire for trainers, I vaguely recalled. That much, I still knew. Good. Focus on what you do know. Was she a colleague? Couldn’t remember. She wasn’t japanese, that was for sure. A transfer? She didn’t have an american accent. Something else.

Oh, crap. She was at the counter. I had to look away- see what they were offering. Get something normal. I had to decide quick-

“ID, miss?” I waited for a moment for an acknowledgement from the person ahead of me. Nothing came. They were addressing me. Oh no.

This was the worst-case scenario. I was holding up the line because I hadn’t decided. I reached for my pocket for my ID-

This was Agnes Tachyon’s track suit. I didn’t have my ID. I didn't have an ID at all.

“I, um, ah-” I stammered, wide-eyed. “I, uhh,”

The lunch lady, who I already thought was tall, loomed over me like a skyscraper. All of a sudden, every single other person in the cafeteria felt like an enormous pillar- spikes of steel, jutting out of the ground all around me, forming impossible geometries that circled around and towards me.

This was why I could not stand to be on the stage with Opera. This is why I could not stand to be seen. I was a mess. I was screwing everything up. I was holding up the line. I didn’t even have an ID. What the hell would I say? Would they even believe me- Was I even in this system- i shouldnt have come here i should run i should-

“Actually, she’s my trainee.” A voice rang out through the forest of steel, brushing the thorns aside effortlessly. The towering ogre above me knelt down and regarded me with her baleful eye - scanned my shaking, hyperventilating body, judged me for all of the inadequacies that I had so foolishly put on display. My uniform didn’t even fit me. I didn’t belong here. I should run-

“Hmph, alright.”

It was a normal cafeteria again. A double-decker burger with carrot fries on the side slid in front of me unceremoniously. “Next!” The lunch lady called. I quickly picked up the tray and kept moving, not really sure what had just happened.

I glanced up towards my savior, still trying to steady my breath. She winked at me. “C’mon, this way.”

I nodded wordlessly, following behind her like a trembling puppy - or some other animal that I couldn’t put a name to, wobbling on shaky legs. As soon as she found a clear table, she sat down, clearly expecting me to do the same.

Now that I was examining her for reasons other than to keep my mind off of the huge crowd that definitely wasn’t looking at me it’s fine, I noticed more things about her. She was of a somewhat rounder build- didn’t look terribly active, but wasn’t noticeably fat, either. She was the same age- no, she was older than me, she used to be the same age as me. Not that that sentence made any sense at all.

She looked at me with kind eyes, and a soft, patient smile. She wore more makeup than most people, but it looked natural on her. She looked like someone who would give you a soft embrace without even knowing you. Definitely American, then... “Are you alright, miss...?”

“Joie de Vivre,” I mumbled out, realizing I was supposed to have sat down by now, and all but dropped myself into place. “I, um- I... don’t do... well with crowds...” My voice shrank in my throat, seizing up with shame.

A good-hearted chuckle escaped her lips. “Oh, it’s quite alright, Joie de Vivre- oh, where are my manners?” The trainer lifted her nametag. “Noelle McCormick. Pleasure to meet you. Is it okay if I call you Joie for short?”

“That’s, um, fine, th-thank you...” I managed, staring down at my food. Had I even really earned this? These were fries wasted on an unworthy fool, a trembling mess who couldn’t even keep it together long enough to order her lunch.

“Are you new here?” Noelle asked, clearly noticing the thoughts swarming around in my head.

How the hell could I even answer that?

“I, um...” I mumbled. “My, err... debut year is this year.” Not a lie, but not the truth, either. I didn’t even know for sure if I had been accepted yet.

“Oh!” Noelle lit up with pleasant surprise. “Really? I hadn’t heard of you at all. Were you at tryouts?”

“I, um-” Not for five years I wasn’t, not like I could even remember- it was all based on an assumption. “No... I’m, um, a late arrival... From, um, Katsamatsu...” I made up the best lie I could on the spot, but the best I could do was apparently to copy the story of someone more famous and hope this woman didn’t notice.

“Oh, like Oguri Cap?” Noelle nodded, blithely going along with my stupid cover story. “I can tell. They haven’t even got you a uniform in your size yet. Has your trainer put in for one already?”

“I, um... don’t... have a...”

Shit shit shit abort why did you say that that is such a red flag

Noelle furrowed her brow and cocked her head back, clearly more than a bit surprised. “You’re going to debut without a trainer? I didn’t think that was allowed.”

That’s because it wasn’t. I was such an extraordinary exception that I couldn’t even begin to explain it to this woman. Yeah, sure, I’ll just tell this perfect stranger that I’m actually a TM Opera O’s trainer who slipped on a patch of ice while yelling at the sun and somehow miraculously turned into an umamusume instead of breaking her neck. I’m sure that’ll go over great, Joie, why not give it a shot-

A tray slammed down on the table next to mine, accompanied by a cheerful, room-filling laugh that could only belong to my (former) trainee.

“Haaa ha ha ha! I see you have already made fast friends with someone, Joie de Vivre! I knew that one day, my light would shine through you - so that you too, may become a beacon of warmth and happiness for all around! Shall we enjoy our luncheon together on this fine afternoon? I brought a basket of the finest-”

Opera O’s ramblings faded into white noise as every single pair of eyes in the Cafeteria turned to Opera O... and then locked on to me. This beautiful, mad, infuriating woman, who had just announced to all and sundry that she knew me personally and even implied that she was mentoring me?!

I was surrounded. The cafeteria ceased to be filled with people, going about and minding their own business - they all became an evil eye staring directly at me, even that kindly woman who moments ago had offered me a way out of this dark, hostile place. Knives stabbed into me from all sides- jealous eyes, judgemental eyes, who stared at the thing that had just been declared to be the Overlord’s Heiress, and scanned it for weaknesses. Unworthiness. They would find it in droves. Every umamusume and trainer, sizing up a potential rival. Opera O had even announced my name for good measure! Why not just tell everyone where I live and my private phone number at this rate?!

I didn’t even have to think about running that time. I just did it.

Scenery blasted past me in ways that I had only seen on bullet trains. Cafeteria turned into hallway turned into field. I didn’t care where I was going, only that it was out and away from the horrifying situation that I had been put in. I didn’t even know how I was running that fast, just that I was.

When I finally stopped running, it was because I was totally out of breath. The world spun around me, and I leaned forwards with my hands on my knees to try and keep myself from collapsing facefirst into the dead winter grass.

I failed.

The embrace of the ground was soft and cold. Frankly, I was lucky that I hadn’t faceplanted into the snowbank next to me instead.

It felt good to just lay there. It felt good... to run.

Sure, I had run from my problems. I had run from my so-called friend, who had given me those problems. But... I still ran. I ran faster than I thought was possible- On an academic level, sure I knew it was possible. I remembered watching Opera O round the track so many times, but... That wasn’t for me. Not until just now.

I ran. I could run.

Despite everything, I sobbed and laughed into the ground, and then rolled over to stare up at the cloudless winter sky. It seemed... so much bluer than before.

For a while, I simply lay there on the cold earth. I didn't worry about who was looking. I was alone out here. Just me and the wind. Sometimes, the wind would carry footsteps to my ears from a distance, but I just lay there and drank in the vivid, endless blue.

I was smiling.

“Um... J-Joie...? Is that you...?” A timid voice reached my ears, along with tentative footsteps. "Are... are you hurt...?"

I looked around from my worm’s-eye-view. I was near one of the dirt tracks - the larger one, by my estimation. It was still lunchtime, so there were only a few stragglers still hanging around, doing laps or exercises. I had collapsed just behind the bleachers, where trainers would (probably) sit to observe their trainees. Where trainers would sit to scout new trainees, where Umamusume would sit to watch and take breaks while their friends ran the track.

It smelled like wet grass, cold air, and camaraderie. I used the smell to focus- ground myself to reality, to what I need to do. Like sit up, for one.

“O-over here...” The voice called again. My ears swiveled to locate the source of the sound- an alien but welcome reflex, and I turned my head to follow them. The voice belonged to Meisho Doto, who was skipping over towards me. She was carrying two bundles of neatly-folded clothing in her hands, ever-so-carefully so as to not let either of them slip from her hands. On top of the stack was a pair of standard-issue red track shoes. Was that my uniform? I quietly thanked the Goddesses that Rudolf wasn’t going to make me run Tachyon’s tests in ill-fitting clothes and cleats. “Th-thank goodness you’re okay! O-Oppie said, you wan out of the cafeteria- and...”

... Wait, she’s headed right for- “Doto, the snowbank!” I shouted, right as I realized it.

“What snowba-” Fwoomp. Right on cue, Doto stepped off of the path onto a snowbank that was much deeper than it looked, and her waist disappeared into the cold snow. A shiver ran up her spine, and the clothes she was carrying flew out of her hands as she yelped.

The shoes sailed in a short arc, bouncing off of the ground and coming to rest next to where I was sitting.

The tracksuit flopped unceremoniously onto my face, draping over me in a mockery of its intended purpose.

The uniform, however, wasn’t so lucky. It drifted into place at the edge of the snowbank, where snow and water and mud and grass mixed to form the ideal conditions for rendering a set of clothing completely unusable for the foreseeable future. The uniform was soiled.

My uniform. That I’d just gotten.

I let out a beleaguered, contented sigh. It was like I was home, in a way.

Chapter 4: All-Consuming Star

Summary:

"Such a bright light. The shadow it casts will be all the darker... and in that dark, I shall feast."

After I had bolted from the cafeteria, TM Opera O and Meisho Doto had apparently split up to find me- even enlisting the help of Oguri Cap of all people, who they had been planning on introducing me to over lunch. It had never occurred to me until now just how powerful my connections truly were. It was kinda terrifying. Or maybe it actually had occurred to me before, and I simply didn’t remember? Either way, only Doto and Opera were here now, and neither had any idea where Oguri had gone. Perhaps she had her own business to attend to?

“Alas, Joie, my heart swelled overmuch when I saw you making conversation with a perfect stranger over lunch,” Opera O lamented, apologizing in her usual roundabout operatic way that always somehow found a way to paint her in such a way that she never made any mistakes whatsoever. “For I had believed in that moment that you had defeated that curse which had plagued you for our entire working relationship! That fell demon-”

“Agoraphobia,” I added dryly, between shoveling carrot fries into my mouth. The fact that Opera O thought to bring my lunch to me (with an extra serving of carrot fries) was her actual apology - everything else was just her... being herself. It was a pretty good apology, all things considered. These fries were the best thing I’d ever tasted.

“That fell demon, Agoraphobia!” Opera O proclaimed, with such gravitas that it was easy to imagine a sinister orchestral sting and some strikes of lightning accompanying her words. “So glad was I with the thought that you had defeated your lifetime foe, that I did not for once consider the possibility that you were embattled with it still!”

For some reason, I felt someone looking this way after Opera said that, but when I looked around, I didn’t see anyone. The ‘fell demon’ playing tricks on me again, I assumed.

“Sorry to disappoint.” I remarked, putting it out of my mind as best I could as I snacked on another carrot fry. My burger had long since been devoured, its previously magnificent form now rendered into a happy little lump in my stomach. 

“You do not disappoint!” Opera O declared, striking yet another overdramatic pose. “By engaging this foe in such a prolonged battle, you only prove your incredible bravery and tenacity! Such qualities are indeed those of one worthy of the Centurial Overlord’s throne- her legacy!”

That still felt like hollow praise, even if I knew deep down that Opera O always meant every single compliment she gave out. Especially those she gave out to herself, but she didn’t just say things for the sake of gassing other people up. Everything she said about others was true - or at least, she believed it to be true, which made it the truth.

Really, it was remarkable how perceptive she was (when she wasn’t being denser than lead). She had almost singlehandedly helped Admire Vega get over the mental block that was preventing her from racing her best, with only a few words- Which, of course, then cost Opera O the Japanese Derby. It was a devastating loss, but she almost didn’t seem to care, back then. To her, the bigger victory was allowing her friends to race at their best.

Despite - or maybe because of - her absurd personality, she always managed to bring the best out in everyone around her. Maybe that’s why I stuck around her for all that time - I hoped that one day, she would bring the best out of me, too. I chuckled to myself - if that was the case, then it must’ve worked.

Meanwhile, Meisho Doto busied herself trying to shake off the grass and water that had soaked into my new uniform. Factory-fresh and never used, until it fell into the snowbank, apparently. She had already apologized so profusely that I thought she might offer me her own uniform on the spot as penance, but thankfully I didn’t have to talk her down from that- though she was still shivering from how her legs had been submerged in snow a few minutes ago. I was considering offering her Tachyon’s tracksuit pants to help keep her warm.

Really, the fact that she had managed to bring me my tracksuit intact was blessing enough, especially since my impromptu sprint out of the cafeteria had busted open the zipper on Tachyon’s track jacket in such a literal manner that I had the vague sense that somewhere, someone was laughing at the stupid pun the situation made.

Because of that, I eagerly changed into the new uniform as quick as I could while I was sure nobody was looking. It felt like a full-body fuzzy blanket fresh from the laundry, keeping me safe from the cold. It was way better than that ratty old thing Tachyon gave me- which she probably hadn’t washed since she’d retired, thinking about it. Gross.

“Oh? I see you got here early~! Very good, my new guinea pig!” Think of the devil and she shall appear...

Opera, who had probably been soliloquizing this whole time (I just tuned her out due to habit), greeted Tachyon with one of her characteristic flourishes. “Aha! Good day to you, Agnes Tachyon, but I am afraid Joie de Vivre here is no mere south-american rodent- If she were to be compared to all of the rodents in the world, she would be compared to the mighty African Cape Hare!”

“Upgraded from a guinea pig to a startled rabbit. Oh, joy.” I sighed.

“I’m afraid hares and rabbits are not rodents, Opera-kun.” Tachyon smugly corrected. “Lagomorpha is a different Order to Rodentia.”

Opera O glanced over at me as though to confirm whether or not this was true. My response was the most aggressive shrug I could manage. How should I know?! Even if I’d bothered learning that in high school, apparently I’d forgotten it all anyway!

“Even so!” Opera O doubled down in her usual fashion, “Were Joie to be a rodent, she would nonetheless have the soul of a hare!”

“Can we please stop discussing what kind of soul I have?” I groused. “I think recent events have rather conclusively proven that I have the soul of an umamusume, so this whole debate is pointless.”

“Too right!” Opera O bellowed, and followed up with her laughter. I couldn’t help but crack a grin despite myself - it was infectious, after all.

“Unfortunately for you, souls are hardly a measurable variable, so a guinea pig you shall remain.” Tachyon sighed. “If you’re all quite done debating pseudoscience, I am here to get actual science done. Joie, are you ready to get to running?”

Pseudoscience - wasn’t that a joke and a half? Considering recent events - events which Tachyon was one of the few people who were privy to the specifics of - souls were certainly an avenue of discussion. Normally, I’d have agreed with her, but considering that only yesterday I had been a shell of a man with the soul of an umamusume, I was willing to consider pretty much any possible explanation. Tachyon, though, clearly wanted something hard-line and definitive. Nothing vague about a voice in the fountain.

“I’ll be ready in a moment. Er... Opera, could you walk me through our warmup routine?” I asked, standing up.

“Why, certainly- but were you not the one who pioneered it yourself? Ah, let me guess- is this a test of my information retention? Worry not! These exercises have been burned into my muscles over the many years of the Overlord’s reign! Follow my lead, my dearest teacher, and you shall not be disappointed by your student!”

I really didn’t know how to tell her that I simply didn’t remember it. I remembered that she had a stretch routine, and could reasonably infer that I’d probably come up with it, but the details... Mist, like so much else.

I’d have to talk to her and Doto about it later. About all those years, up in smoke. Now wasn’t the time. Not with Tachyon here.

Carefully, I followed the warmup routine just as Opera O showed me - though it took way more out of me than I’d realized it would. Those red eyes boring into my back the whole time certainly didn’t help. By the time my warmup was finished, I was already sweating and breathing heavily. Considering that this was a routine for TM Opera O, the Centurial Overlord, it made sense that it’d be brutal as far as warmups go... And it also made sense just how many of its “stretches” were just rapidly switching between Opera O’s many different absurdly overdramatic poses. Maybe if I’d still had my memories, I’d have executed a scaled-back version of this fit for junior umamusume who hadn’t even run their debut, but...

“Haaa ha ha ha!” Opera O bellowed, barely even breaking a sweat. “Impressive that you were able to keep up the entire time! I had expected you to ask for alterations, but instead you committed the whole way through! You have the true soul of an umamusume- no, an Overlord!”

Opera I love you but it’d be really nice if you brought things like this up sooner I’d probably have appreciated it!

Tachyon, meanwhile, was less than impressed as she sat on one of the bleachers, tapping away at a laptop computer she’d brought along. “Don’t get too ahead of yourself. If a simple warmup like that has already winded you, then you don’t stand much of a chance in the twinkle series- never mind the Triple Tiara.”

Those words of Tachyon’s cut through me in a way that ought to have utterly destroyed what little confidence I had - Affirmed that even with the miracle that brought me here, that I was still utterly inadequate, just as I’d feared.

That’s probably what should have happened. But it didn’t. Instead, a primal fury welled up from inside me. I had been challenged. While I was slightly annoyed with Opera, in the way that I could be angry with her in a playful manner, this actually got me angry in a way I didn’t know I was capable- in a way that made me smile. It was ecstatic.

“Is that so?” I boasted. “I’m inclined to agree with Opera here. This routine was crafted for her- and if I’m able to keep up with it, maiden that I am, then I consider that a good omen of things to come. But you want data, don’t you, Tachyon?” I grinned widely. “Then I’ll show you data.”

To my... surprise? Horror? Delight? Anges Tachyon responded in kind with her own thin-lipped, too-wide mad grin. “He he he... Ahahahaha!” Tachyon’s roaring laughter pierced the afternoon sky, sundering what little clouds were scattered about with its manic power. “Excellent. Truly excellent! I thought you’d be completely unremarkable... but a mad beast lurks within you, doesn’t it?” 

She sneered at me with her contemptible grin as a dark aura began to emanate from behind her head. Numbers floated within that ephemeral void- numbers that made no sense to me. I didn’t bother trying to decipher what they meant. “Go ahead, then, guinea pig. Prove me wrong. Either way, I’ll get the data I want.”

Part of me wanted to punch her in her big, smug mouth and shut her up right then and there. But that wouldn’t have been nearly as satisfying as what I wanted to do even more than that.

Run.

No more words were needed. I would prove her wrong with action. With heavy steps that thundered throughout the sky, I walked as calmly as I could to the starting line marked out on the practice course. There were surely other Umamusume here, who could hear these footsteps, see the craters I left in the ground as these brand new, Tracen-issued cleats dug into the earth. 

For now, I did not care. The daggers their gazes shot at me would be swept aside by my mere presence.

The sun shone brilliantly. Blindingly. It announced my presence- the presence of Joie de Vivre, Heiress of the Overlord. With a zealous grin that matched my student-turned-mentor’s, I readied myself. There were no gates here- so one simply materialized around me.

TM Opera O ran up to the sidelines, stopwatch in hand. She gave me the signal.

My gate opened.

And I ran.

I laughed as I tore down the dirt track, the landscape around me blending together into an abstract smear of color. Earlier, I had ran to get away - but now, I ran for the sheer joy of it. I wanted to prove Tachyon wrong, yes, but I forgot about that- I ran because I wanted to. For now, there were no ulterior motives. Just me, and the wind rushing past my ears, the thunder of my feet upon the ground, the shocks it sent up through my body, the feeling of my cleats carving out my mark upon the earth.

It felt like I had been born to do this. That I had been doing this all my life. Phantom competitors phased into reality in front of me- or perhaps they were simply other Umamusume who were using the track for their own purposes. Either I blazed past them, or they dove out of the way. It didn’t make a difference to me. It was only right for obstacles in an Overlord’s way to step aside.

All too soon, however, I raced past TM Opera O, who was holding the stopwatch. Slowing down hurt to do- I wanted to keep going. It wasn’t enough. Another lap.

So I did. Despite the shouting fading into the background, voices that I only dimly acknowledged as belonging to Opera and Doto. I didn’t care. I would keep going because I wanted to.

Another lap around the track brought new challenges. The obstacles cleared themselves out of the way as they heard me coming, but my own footsteps had left indelible marks upon the earth that made my path forward harder. I stumbled over one, but caught myself. Kept going forward. Kept pushing. Everything around me grew brighter and brighter.

As I turned the final corner, a moment of clarity struck me. I looked past Opera and Doto’s flailing arms, past the malefic aura that spread out from the mad scientist sat upon her lofty throne. I locked eyes- for a moment, or an eternity, I could not tell- with an Umamusume who was also sitting on the bleachers.

Her hair was a pale brown. Her eyes were deep, bloody crimson. Her hands were upon the sides of her face, which was twisted into a rictus grin. She stared into me, her eyes bore through me- not judgemental, but hungry. Seeking. Hers was not the gaze that wanted to destroy me. Hers was the gaze that wanted to find what quintessential part of me made me who I am and devour it whole. 

I couldn’t tell what expression I was making at the moment, but it was probably a lot like hers.

The moment passed. So too had I passed Opera again.

Now, I was satisfied. Now, I would allow myself to stop. Not because I was obligated, but because I was proud of what I had already accomplished, and needed no further proof as to what I was capable of.

“How’s that?!”

I roared my challenge at Tachyon, who matched my mad grin with her own. Wind whipped around the both of us, tossing our hair about, emphasizing the tumult of our conflict - one that shook the heavens themselves. My light battled against her shimmering darkness- a war with no clear victor, unfortunately, as reality seeped back in, as fatigue clutched at my arms and legs and chest.

I glanced over at the bleachers again, looking for the monster who I had locked gazes with not moments ago.

She was gone.

I coughed- Sharp pain rushed into my lungs. I’d overdone it. The overwhelming light faded from the sky and both Opera and Doto rushed to my side. It was hard to know my limits, one could suppose, if I had never reached them before.

“Your enthusiasm is most commendable, Joie, but please, pace yourself!” Opera O barely maintained her character, her alarm plain on her face as I nearly doubled over. My lungs voiced their objections to my behavior vociferously. “We’ve just now made your dream possible- please, do not injure yourself afore you can even begin to complete it!”

Doto’s fussing was no less energetic. “Please! Pleeeaaaase, Joyyyeee! Think about what would happen if you hurt yourself! We don’t even know if you run on dirt well yet, so don’t push yourself!”

I cracked a weak smile, touched by their worry, but my mind was still elsewhere. “There was... someone sitting over there.” I pointed. “Who was she?”

Opera O and Doto both turned to look where I was pointing- the exact place that red-eyed umamusume had been sitting. All that was there was a cafeteria tray with a half-eaten hamburger and an empty fry basket.

“If there was an individual seated upon that set of bleachers, she escaped my notice,” Opera answered, worry clear in her voice. “Come- let us take a brief rest, my friend. You have more than earned it.”

I glanced over to Doto as well to look for answers, but she shook her head sadly.

Had I just imagined her?

No... that gaze that I felt. There was no way that wasn’t real.

As I hobbled back over to take a seat- wow, my feet hurt- I ran back through the run in my mind. It was all such an ecstatic blur, that I barely even remembered it. It felt more like a dream than anything. How much of that was all in my head...? Surely, Opera O and Doto would have said something if a gate had literally materialized around me...

But she... She had to be real. I couldn’t have imagined her. Not in detail like that.

“Hahahaha!” Tachyon’s laugh shattered my train of thought into pieces. “Excellent, Excellent! I’ll admit, Joie, I was wrong about you. You are no mere guinea pig - You are a monster.” Tachyon beamed with joy as she insulted me to my face, though the way she said it left an unspoken follow-up: ‘just like me’. Somehow, that made it worse.

“I’ve seen enough. I shall compile my report to Rudolf, with a glowing recommendation.” Tachyon slammed her laptop shut to punctuate her sentence as she stood up. The way she said that... Did she see the light, too? I’d assumed it wasn’t real... “Do whatever you wish with the remainder of the day. I shall look forward to studying you with great enthusiasm.”

Tachyon giggled to herself as she walked away. Doto and Opera exchanged worried glances, and both let go of a breath they had been holding. Opera produced a bottle of some kind of green sports drink. “Here, my friend. A potion from the most skilled alchemist in the land - drink, and replenish your energy.”

Without thinking, I took the bottle and took a deep swig.

It tasted like slime and lightning and wet bread and battery acid and fish. I turned to look at Opera’s beaming grin as my fatigued brain slowly pieced together what, exactly, Opera meant by ‘skilled alchemist’.

My body rejected even the possibility of allowing Tachyon’s noxious energy concoction anywhere near my stomach... Which unfortunately placed it right in Opera’s face.

=====

Agnes Tachyon walked down the halls of Tracen academy, totally lost in thought. She giggled to herself the whole way, bumping into careless passers-by without a care in the world. She walked in a straight line, and did not slow down or adjust for anyone- her body was on autopilot. It already knew where to go. Her mind was needed elsewhere, and it was everyone else’s job to realize that and get out of the way. Formulae and numbers floated through her head- points of data she was compiling, parts of the U=ma2 formula that formed her theory of everything- It wasn’t everything in the universe, perhaps, but everything that mattered to her. Her theory of Umamusume.

The riddle buzzed in her mind, every waking moment of every day. What was an Umamusume? From where did her incredible, science-defying strength and stamina come from? What made her so special compared to her sister species, homo sapiens? It was the ultimate question. Her life’s work. Simple physics had yet to find a satisfactory conclusion, and religion’s answer was a simple blessing from the Three Goddesses, but Tachyon wanted something definitive. Unverifiable claims of divinity were of no use to her. She wanted verifiable ones. 

And today, a major, verifiable clue had the grace to simply fall into her lap, courtesy of the Emperor. A miracle from the Three Goddesses themselves, an Umamusume who was born a man and thus formed from a man, through seemingly no external stimuli other than her own sheer willpower. Agnes Tachyon had her own theories about how this could have possibly happened, and the potential ramifications for umakind - and what observable phenomena could be related - specifically, her theory was that this should have only been remotely possible for someone of exceptional force of will.

A major part of her theory pertained to the half-real apparitions that manifested around her, around other strong-willed Umamusume. Rare was the person who so much as acknowledged them. For a long time, Tachyon simply assumed that she was hallucinating, for no instrument could measure what she saw with her eyes- but one by one, she met others who could see it too, like Manhattan Cafe- though she only had eyes for her “friend”, who yet eluded Tachyon’s sight. In all cases, Tachyon noted, it was the result of strong emotions and all-consuming conviction that bordered on derangement. 

At first, Tachyon had written Joie de Vivre off. Someone who couldn’t summon the willpower to endure the simplest tests or talk to a lunchlady was hardly worth her time- but not only could Joie see it, from how she had glanced at the numbers that accompanied Tachyon at all times, but she could already harness that power without even directly racing against anyone. Some Umamusume raced entire careers, and Tachyon only saw in them the faintest, fleeting glimmers- But on the field, Joie de Vivre was a star plucked from the heavens, a radiant ball of flame and plasma, brought down to earth to scorch all near it to ash. 

She was a complete aberration in that way - someone unexceptional granted exceptional power in a way that threatened to consume her. Perhaps burning away so many of her memories in the process of transformation was what gave her such a self-destructive aspect? Or was it the other way around; her existing self-destructive tendencies burning away all she deemed to be unnecessary?  Alternatively, could it have been the influence of her trainee-turned-mentor? Where TM Opera O’s radiance was measured and carefully controlled, Joie de Vivre’s was all-consuming. As if she’d split off a fraction of Opera’s own will, and poured fuel on it until it consumed everything, even herself. 

Tachyon could ask all the questions she wanted and formulate theories until sunset, but all that she could do for now was observe Joie from a distance, and not interfere unless absolutely necessary. If she wasn’t careful, then Joie would be swallowed up by her own will and destroyed. She sincerely hoped that Joie could avoid such a fate- if only because then, Tachyon would be bereft of her most interesting test subject.

Her body was no longer moving, and prompted Tachyon to take manual control. She was at her destination. She walked into Symboli Rudolf’s office without so much as knocking on the door, brushing it aside like it were a piece of cardboard instead of solid wood. The Emperor was in the middle of talking to someone. Wind Grove? What was her name again? No, it didn’t matter. Unnecessary information. Tachyon was only here for one thing.

“To what do I owe the surprise?” Rudolf asked, static electricity flickering around her eyelashes. Even at rest like this, the Emperor still employed her force of will, leaving her mark on the world around her in subtle ways. Everyone who spoke to her noticed it, even though they could not see her do it. They described it as the Emperor’s ‘presence’- and what her presence was communicating right now was that she wished to make her displeasure at this interruption known. Tachyon, of course, did not care.

“I have completed my assessment of your miracle,” Tachyon said enigmatically, sparing the briefest glance to the gray-haired umamusume who was glaring daggers at her. She had a presence, too, but wasn’t worth Tachyon’s precious time right now. She didn’t even want to bother learning if this one was in the know about Joie de Vivre.

The emperor sighed. “And from how you’ve barged in here, I’m supposing you’ve deemed it unnecessary to provide a full report?”

“Indeed,” Tachyon’s grin widened, glad that she didn’t have to waste even the few seconds it would have taken to explain that. “You have my most glowing recommendations.”

“You found her that compelling?” Rudolf raised an eyebrow. “I wasn’t sure if she had the spine, but I decided not to judge this book by her cover. What were her times, then?” 

“Oh, no, her time was terrible.” Tachyon remarked offhandedly, dismissing the question with a blase gesture. “Not even worth mentioning, barely good enough for a regional circuit. She would have been rejected in a heartbeat if she’d submitted it through the proper channels.”

Rudolf furrowed her brow, trying to figure out what the hell Tachyon’s game was. “Then why the recommendation? If you just want to keep her around as a test subject for you to study, then-”

“Oh, you misunderstand me!” Tachyon interrupted the Emperor with a giddy voice. “I don’t care about her times today. She has never run a race in her life before, but she already burns with such incandescence that you would think she’s been running since the day she was born - in a sense, she has! Her times will not be a problem- if she has the drive, and she does, she will improve in leaps and bounds.”

“You’re asking me to take a leap of faith, while promising a bright future....” Symboli Rudolf cracked a smile. “How about this: Do you think she can win the Triple Tiara? She told me that was her dream.”

Tachyon’s grin grew wider and wider as she pondered the question- A binary yes-or-no answer, one which should have been incredibly easy for her to answer. It was so simple for her to spot which up-and-coming runners would be contenders. It was practically written into the air around them. And yet... “That’s the best part! I have no idea!” 

“That’s all well and good,” The gray-haired Umamusume finally spoke up, much to Tachyon’s annoyance. “But if you’re talking about who I think you’re talking about, then you need to come to the director’s office. There’s something you both need to know...”

-----

“Think not of it as a poor showing!” Opera O’s voice rang through the air, giving lie to the idea that the private corner of the academy grounds we had retreated to was, in fact, private. “Indeed- four kilometers on wet dirt, as your very first run? An astounding display of tenacity and strength, worthy of being written into legend!”

“That doesn’t change the fact that I took over six minutes to do it at full tilt,” I groaned, and my legs groaned too. “If my times are going to look like that, then I have to start training now, or I might as well give up.”

Opera O’s face had an odd twinge to it, as though she was experiencing the other side of a conversation that she had experienced previously. “All good things in time, Joie de Vivre! It would not do to blind all your rivals with your overwhelming brilliance, and scare them out of the competition as once did the great Maruzensky!”

“A-aren’t we forgetting that Joie just ran four kilometers like it was a sprint...?” Doto nervously interjected, even as she massaged my aching leg. Even with the warning she gave me, I had to consciously suppress the instinct to kick her in the face the moment she touched it. Somehow, I’d already felt used to it- which was a good thing, or else I might’ve actually done it. “Th-that’s longer than any dirt race... Or any race, at all...”

I coughed again. My ribcage was sore. I didn’t know bones could be sore like this. “Opera ran longer distances during practice days,” I grumbled out, trying to force my chest muscles back in line. “I’ll be fine.”

“By pacing herself! A-and taking breaks!” Doto insisted, before shrinking back. “I mean- ah, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to shout...”

I sighed. “It’s... okay, you’re just concerned, is all...” I couldn’t bring myself to be mad at Doto.

We’d retreated over here, near the tree line, to take a break away from the prying eyes of my fellow students... It still felt strange to think of them that way. And also familiar- Right. That elephant in the room. I couldn’t avoid it forever.

“So, um...” I started, trying to summon the willpower to talk about this difficult topic candidly. It didn’t really help that Opera O was doing her usual thing- perched atop a tree stump and gazing out over her kingdom. Bringing this up felt like dragging the moment down, somehow. “I, um, want to talk about...”

“There you are,” A voice came from behind me, derailing my chain of thought as I nearly jumped to my feet (and knocked Doto over in the process).

“Whowhat-” I turned to face the source of the voice, almost ready to get up and run away, only to be met with a familiar face- perhaps one of the most familiar faces in Tracen academy. Her hair was ashy-white, and decorated with a distinct pattern of yellow diamonds and... pine needles? “... Oguri Cap?”

“Mhm,” Oguri nodded, as though she actually needed to confirm her identity. “That’s me.”

“Oh, there you are, my friend!” Opera O entered the conversation with all of her usual grace. “How wonderful to see you here! Were you, perhaps, stolen away by other duties? Ah, how kindhearted you are, to make time for us in your busy schedule regardless!”

“Actually, I’m still looking for that person you wanted help finding,” Oguri said matter of factly. “Um... Joy the Vivid...?” Oguri mumbled.

Wait, she had been looking for me this whole time?! It had nearly been an hour! I just gave her a flabbergasted stare.

“... Wait, is this her?” Oguri blinked. “Blonde hair, short. Everyone else I asked said no.”

“I-” Opera O stumbled, clearly as flabbergasted as I was. “I gave you an exact description of what Joie de Vivre looks like!”

Oguri just stared blankly, as though she had no idea what Opera was talking about.

“And-” I sputtered out, completely overwhelmed, “You spent the last hour asking every blonde umamusume on campus if they were Joie de Vivre?!”

Oguri nodded simply, without any elaboration. I wanted to curl up into a hole and die. Just in case TM Opera O announcing her familiarity with me in the middle of a crowded cafeteria hadn’t already started rumors, then Oguri Cap asking after me certainly would...

Opera noticed me shriveling up, and laughed her boisterous laugh as she gave me a hearty pat on my back. “Come now, do not be ashamed that your name is known far and wide! After all, t’was merely a matter of time before that was the case- you do intend to win the Triple Tiara for yourself and etch your name into the annals of Umamusume history, do you not?”

That actually got me to calm down a little bit. “I... yeah, I guess so. I’d just rather not have all of my potential rivals marking me before I’ve even started my training...” I mumbled.

Information was power, after all. I remembered that much from my old life- how jealous rivals would try to come train with Opera O to try and learn some kind of weakness of hers, only to leave embittered when they found out that Opera had no weaknesses. My name already being out there, attached to two of the most prominent umamusume in history... It would attract the wrong kind of attention.

I felt a vague memory. Opening a letter meant for Opera O, only to see upon the page words of hatred and vitriol from a rival whose dreams Opera had crushed. A vague memory of looking at forum posts and comments, deriding Opera O as “boring” because she “wins too much”. Complaining that she was “annoying” and “wasn’t even cute like Doto”. Articles run to smear her good name.

The vultures and flies that used to buzz around TM Opera O, waiting for her to show weakness, waiting for their chance to descend upon her and tear her to shreds, would now be looking at me. It wasn’t even Opera’s fault, really. I had brought this fate upon myself with my hubris.

Even alone in this corner, near people I could trust, I felt the evil eye upon me. The trees seemed as though they could contain any number of predators...

“Oh, actually,” Oguri snapped her fingers, shaking me out of my mental spiral. “I found someone else who was looking for you, too.”

“Huh...?” I looked up, wondering what other bad news Oguri was going to deliver to me.

“The lady at the gate- Umm, Miss Tazuna,” Oguri said. “She said that if I found you, you should go to the director’s office for something important. As soon as possible - oh, and bring Opera and Doto, too. That’s what she said.”

This probably had something to do with my enrollment with the academy... so not something I could put off. “Okay. I’ll go right away. Thanks.” I offered with some reluctance, not looking forward to a difficult conversation with Tazuna and the Director.

Oguri flashed a thumbs-up. “I should go back and finish my lunch.” She patted her stomach, which growled loudly in response.

“My friend, I was under the impression that you had already eaten?” Opera O reeled back as though she had suffered a blow- mostly to her honor, it would seem. “I witnessed you devour the last of your dozen fry-baskets myself! If I had known that my request would interrupt your meal, then I would not have made it!”

“Oh, it’s fine. That was just the appetizer.” Oguri said, matter-of-factly, to the disbelief of everyone present. “They should probably be done making the rest by now. They said it was gonna be a table-sized, five-patty burger...” Oguri briefly spaced out as she imagined it, and then realized that imagining it wasn’t nearly as good as actually eating it. “Anyhow, bye. Good luck with whatever it is you need to do.” She waved as she merrily ran off to go stuff her face with impossible amounts of food.

I sincerely hoped, if only for the sake of my future dining bills, that my metabolism didn’t look anything like Oguri’s.

Notes:

This is where I show my hand and reveal just how inspired by Creation of an Umamusume this whole thing is! The idea of the umas' ultimates being actual phenomena is very interesting, especially with my other writing influences- though naturally, I intend to put my own spin on it.

Also, because I have the powers of art:

I wanted to include a cutaway gag for this, but couldn't figure out how to make it flow nicely in text. So you get this instead.

Chapter 5: Charlatans

Summary:

Of course it couldn't have been that simple.

This was not the meeting I was expecting.

When I arrived at Director Akikawa’s office, I was expecting to be treated to a barrage of paperwork and aggravating questions about my identity- perhaps to be prodded about how any of this could have possibly happened (as if I knew the answer to that) or if I was happy with my transformation (I was). Instead, when Tazuna welcomed us inside, I was nearly suffocated by the wave of pressure I felt as the doors opened.

TM Opera O, Meisho Doto, and I were ushered into three plain chairs facing the director’s desk. On one side of the room sat Symboli Rudolf and a very bored Agnes Tachyon, and on the other sat Air Groove and Narita Brian.

Why the hell was the student council here? Why was Tachyon here?!

“I, um, wh-why’s everyone here...?” Doto nervously gave voice to the question that was on my mind- though she took care to tread lightly upon the tension that was palpable in the air.

“Why yes, that’s a very good question,” Agnes Tachyon immediately wasted all of Doto’s effort, her annoyance undisguised as she bounced her leg in place impatiently. “Why am I here? Was my report not enough to convince you all-”

“As though we ought to trust a word from your mouth.” Air Groove spat, narrowing her eyes at Tachyon. “And if I recall correctly, you didn’t submit a report at all, save for how you barged into the Student Council office as Rudolf and I were discussing this very issue.”

Rudolf raised her hand in front of Tachyon as the mad scientist opened her mouth for a rebuttal - and amazingly, Tachyon reluctantly backed down. “Let’s all calm down. There’s no point in arguing like this before we’ve properly addressed the topic at hand.”

Why did it feel like I was being put on trial?! I shrank in my seat as Opera spoke up. “Ah, if this is about the fiasco with the storage room, I assure you-”

“No.” Rudolf cut her off bluntly. “Please, let the director speak.”

All eyes turned to the diminutive woman in the oversized seat behind the desk. I didn’t remember much about her- what I did remember was largely the various antics she would get up to during Opera’s training, so what little I did remember did not paint a flattering picture. Tazuna politely stood by her side as she took a deep breath - and then opened her eyes with an intensity that I didn’t know she was capable of.

“TM Opera O! Meisho Doto! Joie de Vivre!” Director Akikawa announced with incredible volume, causing Doto and I to flinch as she pointed her fan at us. “I implore you- tell us of the events of the last New Year’s Eve, in as much detail as you can muster!”

“I-” I stammered out. “Didn’t we already... what’s going on?”

“What’s going on,” Brian said flatly, “Is that you’re in big trouble. So it’d be a good idea to do what the director says- and make sure it’s the truth.”

My heart collided with my stomach in a meteoric fall. I felt sick. What did I do? Was this something that I didn’t even remember anymore? Had that man done something, and left me with the consequences?!

“TM Opera O,” The director pointed her fan again, “Please begin with your version of events.”

Opera O cleared her voice. “Well, t’was the night upon which I was to regale my subjects with the tragic news of my retirement-”

“Cut the crap, already,” Brian snarled. “We don’t have time for your yapping. Get to the point.”

“... Very well then,” Opera responded with a weary sigh and wary eyes, clearly put off by Brian’s obvious hostility. “I shall be succinct in my summary of events.”

So it was that Opera was indeed succinct, reluctantly abandoning her theatrical flair and relaying the facts in as plain a matter as possible. Her restraint was truly impressive, seeing how she didn’t embellish a single thing. She talked about the press conference, the quiet ride home, our conversation at the fountain, and how right after announcing our vows to the sun I slipped and fell- and when Opera had leapt into the fountain, the individual she had pulled out was not Matsuo Katsuo (urgh), but a blonde Umamusume wearing his clothing. She even admitted that she hadn’t believed her eyes for a moment and thought she was seeing things, but after a thorough examination (I blushed as I tried not to think too hard about how thorough it could’ve been), she had affirmed the evidence of her eyes.

“I admit, I did not know what to do. I panicked.” Opera begrudgingly admitted, gritting her teeth as she swallowed her pride for my sake. “I brought Joie into a storage room and called Meisho Doto for help because I knew not what other path to take. I dare you all to put yourself in my shoes, and imagine that a loved one has changed into such a dramatically different form before your very eyes- would you not be beside yourself with worry? Would you not fret that were this incredible event be made public knowledge, that your dear friend would be made the subject of scrutiny and ridicule?”

I hadn’t even really considered that possibility, and the part of me that really hated being seen was starting to scream and rattle my brain around like an agitated ape. The thought of being made a specimen- not just by Tachyon, but on a national scale... I’d seriously have rather died.

“The version of events you offered me this morning was rather different.” Rudolf calmly stated, to my shock. I thought we’d already sorted this out! “Would you care to elaborate on why?”

“... Again, it was not my intent to deceive or defraud the student council, but to protect my friend.” Opera O continued, resolute. “Must I repeat myself? That version of events, ill-conceived a lie as it was, was fabricated in the hopes of providing a way to explain my friend’s- Joie de Vivre’s existence, for were I to present the truth instead, I feared you would not believe it.” Opera leaned back in her chair. “You ought to know the rest already. Fuji Kiseki found a mysterious girl in the storeroom as she arrived to take inventory, Joie and I were brought before the Emperor to provide answers, and thus we did.”

Opera clearly wanted to add on that she didn’t appreciate being cross-examined like this, but mercifully refrained. Tazuna dutifully stood by the director’s desk, noting down Opera’s testimony on a laptop. Her typing speed was truly impressive, and that was definitely the most important thing to be focusing on at this moment since it was distracting me from the horrible anxiety.

“Very well,” Director Akikawa nodded. “Meisho Doto!” She pointed her fan at her next target, who yelped and nearly jumped out of her chair. “Please! Tell us your version of events!”

“A- I, um-” Doto struggled to start. “Well... I was... in my dorm room, talking to Air Shakur when, um... Opera called me out of nowhere, and said that someone had fallen into the fountain.” Doto nervously poked her fingers together. “I, um... I’m sorry, I don’t have the best memory, but...”

“Take your time.” Rudolf encouraged Doto, “It’s important that you recall as many details as possible.”

“Well, um...” Doto fussed again, clearly feeling the same pressure I was. Really, anyone in this position would be nervous- which made it all the more impressive that Opera was so calm. “Opera... sounded really, um... flustered?” Doto tried to find a way to phrase events so as to not imply her idol was scared or panicked, even though Opera had already admitted to such. “She told me to bring a hot water bottle and a warm blanket to the storage room, so I did. I, um, I didn’t really know what was going on... If she told me, then I must not have been listening. She was in her signature racewear, and it was wet, and Joie was there- though, um, I hadn’t seen her before then... Well, I guess I had-” Air Groove and Brian immediately narrowed their eyes at the seeming hole in the story and I tensed up instinctively. “I-I mean, um- when Opera came back with her spare uniform, she called her, um, Katsuo-” It was getting really hard to contain my outbursts with people mentioning that name- “And, um. I put the pieces together there...”

“So you had seen her before.” Air Groove pressured Meisho Doto, who all but liquefied.

“Awawawa- I’mm sowee, I misspoke-” Doto stammered out, before taking a breath to regain her composure and enunciate clearly again. “I- I met Opera’s trainer before, and Opera’s trainer is Joie, so, um...” Doto fidgeted. “I... had met her before? When she was a man?” Air Groove didn’t seem satisfied, but she didn’t ask Doto any more questions and she was allowed to finish her version of events. “I, um- I went back to my dorm room after making sure she and Opera were okay...” Doto fidgeted, blushing. “And, uh... She didn’t have any, um, underwear, so I lent-”

Rudolf coughed. “I don’t think we need to hear that, thank you.” That’s it. That proved it. I was dead and this was hell, and the last 24 hours or so were a cruel dream concocted to place me in this exact situation, where I would suffer the worst humiliation possible for eternity.

“B-b-but you said to remember as many details as possible...” Doto fussed with her head, melting back into her seat. “I-I’m sorry...”

“Joie de Vivre!” The director bulldozed the awkwardness and addressed me. “It is your turn! Please relay your version of events!”

Once again, all eyes were on me - and it really did feel like I was in hell, awaiting judgement. Tazuna took the form of almighty Yama, and the others in the room all felt like demons, gazing down at me, eager to hear what my sentence would be- eager to hear in what ways they would be permitted to tear me apart.

It was my turn to speak, and I froze up. I clutched at my head, my throat- why couldn’t I speak? I was suffocating. I was going to die. My body was shaking. The demons around me only grew in size, their wicked grins sprouting more and more teeth as they delighted in my suffering-

A gentle hand wrapped its way around mine, giving me something else to focus on. It was the familiar touch of Meisho Doto. “It’s... okay,” she whispered. “D-do you remember the trick you taught me? Here.” She discreetly passed me a small stick of some cosmetic or another. It was already open. Lip balm?

“J-just focus on the smell, right...? If you do that, you can’t focus on the thoughts, and... You already know this, I, um...” Doto fidgeted.

“Hey, what’re you whispering about?” One of the demons sneered, leaning in to look at what was in my hands. 

I told myself not to think about it. I rubbed a tiny bit of it onto my index finger and brought it up to my nose, as best I could with my trembling hands. I did my best to focus on the scent.

... Like apples and cinnamon. Like a small bakery you found while walking the street. Like a pastry shared with a dear friend.

I was back in the director’s office. My hands were still. It was okay. It was going to be okay.

“Thanks,” I whispered back to Doto as I passed the stick of lip balm back to her. I noticed Tachyon, whose gaze had been elsewhere for most of this sham of a trial, looking intently at me with an inscrutable expression. I did my best to ignore her.

“Concern! Joie de Vivre, are you all right?” Director Akikawa asked, the emotion which she had just announced plain on her face- and her fan, which was mysteriously emblazoned with the word. 

“I’m, um, just nervous,” I managed.

“Nervous you’ve been found out, you mean.” Narita Brian scoffed.

“Enough of that. Please, Joie, share your story.” Rudolf came to my defense, despite having pressed Opera earlier. Just whose side was she on...?

Whatever the case, I wouldn’t get out of this without giving my side of the story, so I did so as clearly and concisely as I could, given the circumstances- and how much I could remember. The press conference, the car ride, the conversation, the fountain, the voice- Everything I had told Rudolf earlier that day, I recited again despite the judgemental eyes around me.

“... And, um. You know the rest. Fuji found me- I thought she was going to beat me up, but instead she hauled me in front of Rudolf, and...” I shrugged. “Now we’re here, I guess.”

“What about Tachyon’s examination?” Air Groove spoke up. “I’m curious to know what happened to impress her so much.”

“I, um, I’m not so sure myself,” I fidgeted. “I mean... I guess she’s interested because I’m a human-turned-umamusume?”

Tachyon scoffed at that. “Perhaps that is why you have my interest, but it is not why I gave my recommendation.” Tachyon enigmatically insisted. “My recommendation is because I think you will be an excellent competitor, and I look forward to seeing your career. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“Were you even watching me run...?” I asked. “It was tragic.”

“Ah, but all the best stories are tragedies, aren’t they?” Tachyon grinned widely. I didn’t like the way she said that.

“Okay, but-” I started to get defensive. “I’d kinda expected to have this conversation with the director, maybe, but... Why all this? Why do I feel like I’m on trial?”

“... When I asked Air Groove to start the paperwork necessary for your induction, we found out your name was already in the system, Joie. Your registration had already been completed.” Rudolf stated with a frown.

I blinked. That’s what this was about...? “Isn’t that... a good thing...?”

“None of us knew you existed before last night. There’s no way you should be in the system already.” Rudolf explained.

“Unless you’re a fraud,” Brian added on.

Oh. Oh.

But- “Wait, how is this even possible- when would I have even done this?!” I asked, confused and horrified. “I didn’t even wake up until it was nearly curfew after falling into the fountain!”

“I’d like to believe you on that,” Rudolf put her hand to her chin, deep in thought. “I really would- but we don’t have any proof of that besides your word and Opera’s, as well as the fact that Trainer Matsuo-” Uuuugh- “is still missing- but it’s possible he could have left the premises some other way without us knowing...”

“What about my testimony?” Tachyon grumbled. “Have I been wasting my time?”

“You could be a co-conspirator for all we know.” Narita Brian accused, before bringing out a folder of papers from a bag by her side. “And hey, look at this- when I looked through Matsuo’s office-” UGH- “I found some pretty convenient documents. Birth certificate, ID card, passport, proof of citizenship... All for one ‘Joie de Vivre’. Everything’s got December 31 as the date it was issued. Can’t tell if they’re fakes, but the whole thing stinks, if you ask me.”

“I- Are you accusing me of being a fake Umamusume?!” I asked, outraged. “What, do you need to tug on my ears and tail to prove they’re real?!”

“No,” Air Groove cut through my outrage with a cold and even tone. “We are accusing you of making this whole fantastical story up so you can get into Tracen without properly applying for it. Tachyon said it herself- your abilities are so minimal that you would be rejected outright had you applied normally, so instead you schemed with Trainer Matsuo-”

“STOP CALLING ME THAT!”

I had jumped to my feet and screamed at the top of my lungs without even meaning to. Tears of rage were streaming down my face. I had felt a jolt through my body- as though white-hot lightning had struck me, the electricity puppeteering my nervous system to make me lash out as though I were a dead rat being experimented upon. Brian had also jumped to her feet, ready to intercept me if things got physical.

TM Opera O stood beside me, composed but severe, holding on to my arm to keep me from doing something I’d regret. “Please, calm yourself.” She asked me. “Escalating this cannot end well for any of us.”

“I-” I choked back tears, bringing my hands up to cover my face as I fell limply back into my chair. “I’m sorry. I... I just can’t stand hearing that name. I can’t stand thinking it’s my old name. I... I just want to be Joie. I just want to run... Why- Why doesn’t anyone believe me...?”

I desperately tried to hold the tattered remnants of my composure together as Doto helpfully offered me a tissue with which to dry my eyes. Brian looked aside as she settled back into her chair, clearly at least a little affected by how her accusation had brought me to tears, but Air Groove remained resolute.

“... TM Opera O. What possible reason could Trainer M-” The Empress spared me a glance, and elected to give me the small concession of not mentioning that man by name again. “... Why would your trainer want to sneak a trainee into Tracen? How would he profit?”

“She would do no such thing,” Opera O corrected Air Groove without so much as flinching, burning with intense conviction. “We have said the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. The girl you see before you, whom you have reduced to tears with your spurious accusations, is the selfsame trainer who accompanied me throughout my five-year career. I do not know through what force she was transformed thus, nor from whence those mysterious documents came, but barring my one ill-conceived attempt at concealing this whole affair because I feared that this exact situation might come to pass, I have conducted myself with utmost honesty- and should you find me to be false, may the Three Goddesses themselves strike me down as a liar and a charlatan!”

Opera sat back down after saying her piece. I could swear she was sparkling.

“... Very well. If this Umamusume is who you claim she is, then she should be able to prove it,” Air Groove turned her icy gaze back towards me. “When did you first start your employment with Tracen Academy as a trainer?”

Oh. Oh no. 

“Does nobody listen to a word I say?” Tachyon came to my defense rather unexpectedly, though she did so with the condescending tone of a professor scolding their student for falling asleep in class. “I told you, she has experienced memory loss regarding those events. I even have a chart, if that’s too hard to follow.”

“That’s awfully convenient, isn’t it?” The Empress shot back. “So, you’re admitting that she doesn’t have a single shred of evidence supporting her identity?”

“I remember-” I started, choking out the words desperately in the vain hope that they would make Air Groove believe me. “I remember when Opera and Fuji were dancing together. I danced with Opera all the time, so I picked Fuji’s dance- and I remember how afterwards, Opera was upset with me for days because I’d snubbed her. She took dance practice a lot more seriously after that.”

“I remember at the end of our first year together,” I continued, “When Opera asked my advice on how best to spend the new year, and I jokingly said that we could enjoy a rose bath atop a storied castle- and the next thing I knew, I was helping haul a bathtub up to the roof of the school.”

“I remember how Opera got me a box of bullet-shaped chocolates one Valentine’s day, and the first one I ate put me in the infirmary.” I desperately shared these intimate moments- my memories of Opera, because they were all I had to prove my identity.

“I... I remember Opera hesitating just a little bit to celebrate after the Japanese Derby. How I could tell that she wanted to scream and cry after losing her shot at the triple crown, but held it all back so she could be the Overlord, so she could be the ray of sunshine in all of our lives...”

What I didn’t share was how, in all of these memories, I did not picture myself as Trainer Matsuo. I didn’t picture myself as a trainer at all. I pictured myself as Joie de Vivre, the Umamusume, a fellow student, sharing these moments with her senior. I was watching my idol’s career from the sidelines, and eagerly awaiting my turn.

Part of me wondered if Air Groove was right, and I was just... delusional, somehow. That everything I thought was true was a lie, that I really was some impostor who had somehow tricked Opera and Doto into believing me, that maybe that man was somehow profiting from this...

“I’ve heard enough.” Director Akikawa finally spoke up again, and pointed her fan directly at me. “Joie de Vivre. What is your earnest wish? Your heart’s desire? Speak it to me!”

“I...” My voice rattled with the weight of everyone’s gaze upon me. “I want to live as my true self. I want to race. I want to win the Triple Tiara.”

“Then it shall be done!” Director Akikawa folded out her fan with a flourish. “Welcome to Tracen Academy!”

Huh?

“Wait, that’s it?” For once, I agreed with Air Groove as she turned to look at the director, flabbergasted. “Have you even been listening?!”

“Consider! I know your strictness is out of a desire to see your juniors flourish, but please!” The director addressed Air Groove. “Can you not feel her sincerity? Even if you were to take as truth that her entire story thus far is a lie, then is your heart not moved regardless? This is an Umamusume so desperate to run that she is willing to put everything on the line- even, perhaps, a life in jail! Why, I was so moved by her speech that I was on the verge of tears!” If that was true, then the director’s smiling face didn’t show a single trace of sadness - but now didn’t seem the time to bring that up. “Even if you were to present incontrovertible proof of her guilt right now, I would still accept her as a student of my academy- after all, is our mission not to enable the dreams of all umamusume?!”

Air Groove hesitated before finally relenting. “... Fine. I would simply like to stress that you are taking a risk by accepting her at her word - and if she gets hurt reaching beyond her ability, then it will not be my responsibility.”

“To race is to accept risk! The moment any Umamusume puts her feet upon the turf, she accepts that she could fail or get hurt!” Director Akikawa replied. “Besides, was it not you who mentioned that in our database, the name of the individual who approved her application was none other than Byerley Turk?”

I’m pretty sure everyone in the room besides Air Groove and the Director went wide-eyed.

“... A juvenile prank by a malicious actor, and nothing more.” Air Groove insisted.

“Hmhm~” Director Akikawa hummed victoriously to herself. “Thank you for your time and your help in getting to the bottom of this, everyone! You are all dismissed!”

Meisho Doto and I both let out long, tortured sighs. While we hadn’t exactly proved that I was who I said I was, this result was... good enough, if a bit unexpected. I was thankful that I wasn’t going to have to do any paperwork, or figure out where I’d have to stay while my application was processed, or even figure out how to even change my identity... though these mysterious documents certainly caused their own share of problems. I felt like that conversation might’ve taken a year off of my life expectancy.

“What a tremendous waste of time.” Tachyon sighed out bitterly as she walked by. “Really, why get me to examine her at all if they’re not going to listen...?”

I had to wonder why she was here too. Presumably, she’d offered her testimony before I’d arrived. Was it because Rudolf got her to examine me, or was it purely because they thought she was a co-conspirator? As though I could even possibly imagine what she’d have gotten out of a scheme to enroll me in Tracen, besides my novelty as a guinea pig...

Though, it was rather odd how she came to my defense, when really she had every reason to pretend she had nothing to do with me. It only made her look guilty by doing so. The grilling I'd just endured also made me realize how strange it was that she'd just accepted my story at face value instead of trying to verify it... Maybe I’d misjudged her?

“So, um...” Speaking of poor first impressions, approaching me was Narita Brian, who all but shoved the folder of documents into my hands with a sheepish expression. “Sorry for giving you a rough time. And going through your office. Here’s your stuff.” 

“I thought it wasn’t my office?” I mumbled out, idly flipping through the sheaf of papers. It certainly all looked official... “It’s not my office anymore anyway. I don’t even remember taking a trainer exam, so I couldn’t train even if I wanted to.”

“Look, just-” Narita Brian sighed. “Only reason you could have to say the things you said is if you were telling the truth. That, or you’re really good at putting on the waterworks. Don’t make me second-guess you again.”

I smiled weakly. “Sorry. Thank you for the apology, Narita Brian.”

“And don’t mind Air Groove.” Brian offered as she left the room. “She gives everyone a rough time.”

From what little I remembered of her, that certainly seemed to track.

I turned my attention away from the conversation with Brian and back towards the two Umamusume sat next to me. Meisho Doto was presently performing her best impression of a puddle, having melted from the anxiety of being put under such thorough scrutiny, so I decided to leave her be- and Opera was presently engaged in a conversation with Rudolf, the front half of which I had clearly missed.

“... Really, this just makes things a lot simpler for us,” Rudolf smiled. “I was wondering how on earth we would figure out Joie’s legal paperwork, medical history, and all that, but it seems someone thought of that for us.”

“About that...” Opera O scratched her chin. “About the name. Do you really think-”

Rudolf simply held up her hand. “I’ve decided not to tug on that particular thread. Either it results in everything unraveling for your friend, or it results in her becoming the epicenter of a theological crisis as indisputable proof of the divine is made public knowledge. Neither are outcomes we want, and neither are outcomes I’m particularly interested in untangling. My current student council duties are enough for me, thank you.” She laughed good-naturedly. 

She made a very good point. I was going to have to keep my present existential crisis quiet, lest this whole affair turn out to have actually been orchestrated by a goddess and my self-doubts would suddenly become blasphemous doubt of divine works... I could only hope that they didn't elect to remove their blessings if I didn't pay proper tribute or something.

As I pondered this, I heard someone approach- and as I looked up to see who it was, my body stiffened. It was Air Groove and she was looking at me right in the eyes. I was half-expecting to get into another argument right then and there, but... “... Congratulations on your admission, Joie de Vivre. You said you wish to compete for the Triple Tiara?”

I nodded slowly. “It’s, um... been my dream since I was a...” girl, I wanted to say, but I wasn’t sure if that was the correct version of events anymore.

“You should reconsider.” Air Groove said bluntly. “Next year’s Triple Tiara will have a very strong competitor, poised to sweep the classics. She will be making her debut this year- so either put off your debut until next year, or give up on the Tiaras. She’ll crush you.”

I scoffed at her angrily. Was that what all of this was about? She just wanted me out of the way of her favorite understudy? “So what? It’s hardly worth it if I back down just because of some strong competition.” If she’d put me through this hell just to make some nepobaby’s life easier, then I’d have lost all respect for her- not that I had much ground to stand on in terms of nepotism, but still.

“Hmph.” For whatever reason, my boast got the Empress to... smile? She approved??? “Perhaps that mad scientist was right about you, but defeating her will take more than bravado. I’ll tell you her name, then, since she’ll be sure to know yours- Admire Groove. Look forward to competing with her.”

For some reason, my mind drifted back to that mysterious, crimson-eyed Umamusume that I’d seen during my run. Was that her name? No, it... didn’t feel right, for whatever reason. I just nodded along, putting the thought out of my mind. “I will- and you look forward to watching her lose.”

“I will.” The Empress smiled, before taking her leave alongside the Emperor, who had finished her conversation with the Overlord.

“Well, that was... a most strenuous trial indeed, but such trials are only to be expected upon the road of the Overlord!” Opera O laughed it off, but I could tell that the conversation had taken a lot out of her. “What say you replenish our energy with the finest confections our fair cafeteria has to offer? My treat!”

“Opera, the food’s free...” I laughed, pulling on Doto’s arm to get her to assume solid form again. “Y’know what, sure. Go ahead and treat us.”

I spared a glance back at the Director as we left her office as a group. I couldn’t tell if she believed me- but I knew for a fact that she believed in me, and that would have to be enough for now.

Chapter 6: Make Yourself at Home

Summary:

It doesn't feel like I'm supposed to be allowed in here, but here I am regardless. Maybe I should just be grateful.

“Ah, aren’t you the bad pony from earlier~?” Fuji Kiseki giggled to herself. “You gave me a big fright, you know that? Sleeping in the storage area is a big no-no.”

“You’re gonna be on my case about that for a while, huh...?” I sighed out. “That won’t happen again, just so you’re aware. It was cold in there anyway.”

The sun was starting to set, and I was to report to Ritto Dorm to be assigned a roommate- and as luck would have it, Fuji Kiseki was there to meet me outside. Normally, it would’ve taken at least a week for the wheels of bureaucracy to turn and approve my submission, and maybe the student council’s cooperation could’ve expedited that some- but already being in the system certainly made things go much faster, even if that harrowing conversation with the student council was something I never wanted to experience ever again.

“Why were you sleeping in there, anyway?” Fuji asked- her words taking the form of crowbar trying to peel me open as though I were a crate.

“I, um,” The number of reasons that telling the truth in this situation was a bad idea bordered on the absurd, so I told her a bit of a half-truth. “I... didn’t have anywhere else to go, really.”

Sure, maybe Opera could have brought me to my old place of residence- but even just the thought of going there filled me with... an indescribable ick. I didn’t want anything to do with the place. Hell, even if I still legally owned a mansion, I wouldn’t want anything to do with it at all, even if it was to sell it. Opera had to talk me into at least keeping the money from my training career in a savings account... Though, how the hell I’d access it was another issue. Hopefully, whoever had made this folder full of papers in my hand had thought of this too. Maybe there was a bank card with a PIN or something in there?

“Really?” Fuji’s expression changed to one of curious sympathy- and then suddenly, Fuji leaned in close and took my hand. “Oh, my dear, sweet pony- all you had to do was ask, and I would have lent you my bed for the night...”

wh

What, why-

Was she- was she flirting? with me???

I stood there like a statue as my face flushed red. This was... a completely alien situation to me. These were emotions that I had never felt before! What do I even do here? Do I flirt back? Do I just... accept it? What was going on???

“Luckily, we won’t have to worry about that now, will we?” Fuji laughed quietly as she backed off. Steam must’ve been shooting out of my ears as I wobbled back and forth, I was so flustered... “Where are your belongings? I can carry your bags for you.”

“Oh, um...” I composed myself to answer the question. “I, uh... don’t have any, besides this folder with all my papers...”

“... Really? None?” Fuji looked a little bit shocked.

“I, um,” I laughed nervously, not knowing how to phrase this. “My situation was, uh... really desperate. I basically only came here with the clothes on my back... And even those didn’t fit me right. Really, I should thank TM Opera O for being kind enough to help me out...”

My official cover story, now, was that ‘Trainer M’ had indeed quit training after TM Opera O’s retirement, and I was a prospective trainee of his that had been left out in the cold (literally) due to his sudden resignation- hence the confusion over my enrollment. I had come to Tracen Academy fleeing an unfortunate home life. It wasn’t really the most airtight story, but it would have to do, and it handily explained why I didn’t have that many ties to my old life- and why the mention of TM Opera O’s former trainer drove me up the wall. 

“I’m so sorry to hear that.” Fuji gave me a look of genuine sympathy- which felt like a knife to the ribs, considering how I was basically lying to her face... but it was better than being made into a specimen, like how Opera had feared. “Well, don’t worry- you’re among friends here at Tracen Academy. It might take a bit to get used to the lively atmosphere, but you’ll find yourself fitting in before you know it!” Fuji opened the doors of the dorm, and-

“Oooohohohoho! What’s my name?!” A voice immediately blasted my ears, followed by-

“King!” A chorus of Umamusume, all chanting in unison.

“Ah, it’s this time of evening already...?” Fuji laughed nervously. “Well, that’s fine. Let’s just sneak past before we get roped into-

“You two, over there!” A brown-haired Umamusume stood on top of a table pointed at the two of us, before placing her hand next to her mouth like some kind of cartoon noblewoman. “You’ve come at just the right time! I shall grant you the honor of being part of King Commendation Practice!”

“Ah- King Halo, you’re really not supposed to be standing on the tables. You’re being a bad pony, you know...” Fuji sighed out. Oh, so that’s why I vaguely recognized her...

“That’s not a compliment!” King Halo pouted. “Honestly, you give compliments so freely to others, and then when it comes time to give some to me, all you can do is call me a bad pony! You’re awful at this!”

“Because you keep breaking the dorm rules!” Was Fuji Kiseki’s succinct rebuttal. “Now get down from there before you hurt yourself!”

“I wouldn’t have to stand on a table if you listened to me and installed a stage for this, you know...” King Halo complained. “Really! It’s not as though the academy doesn’t have the funds!”

“Have you considered using the stage that we already have for this? The one that’s outside?” Fuji offered an entirely too reasonable solution to the situation, which meant...

“And allow the horrid winter weather to take its toll upon my beautiful hair and skin?! I think not!”

Well, at least she wasn’t looking at me. Maybe I could sneak past while she was distracted with Fuji-

“You there!” Oh no. “It’s your turn! What’s my name?”

“A- uh- I’m, uh-”

“Wrong!” King Halo shouted at me. “You’re supposed to say ‘King!’ Try again! What’s my name?!”

Yeah, no, bolting upstairs in a panic was probably actually the best thing I could’ve done in this situation... Even though right at the top, I crashed right into someone who was about to head down them, bowling her over completely. Paper went flying everywhere.

For some reason, it didn’t nearly hurt as much as it ought to. She just kinda... bounced off of me.

The other girl I had crashed into was an umamusume about my height, with long pink hair and a red bow atop her head. She was face-down on the floor, curled up as though she’d been struck by an explosive force and left as a corpse in a crater. 

“Ack- I’m sorry!” I yelped out. “Are you okay? Do I need to get a doctor?” I reached over to lend a hand to her, but she recoiled back as my hand got close, as though some other instinct alerted her to my approach.

“Gyeeeeaaaagh! Nonono- I can’t! I’ve already broken the code- Especially by touching you there of all places! I’m a disgrace of an otaku!” The girl thrashed about on the floor and wailed as though she were possessed by some kind of evil spirit- until she was suddenly kneeling before me in repentance (because of the accident that was my fault). “P-p-please, accept humble Digitan’s offering of repentance- I-I-I’ll do anything you ask! I’ll fling myself off of a cliff! I’ll-”

“There’s really no need for any of that!” I shouted, worried for this perfect stranger- though she did seem familiar. Maybe she was in one of Opera’s races...? Did that make her my senior? “I’m the one who should be apologizing! I wasn’t looking where I was going!”

‘Digitan’ looked up to meet my gaze. “Y-you’d forgive me just like that? You’re so kind...! I’m not worthy of basking in the presence of an angel like you- Wait! Blonde hair with a bit of orange, about my height, correct measurements-” Correct what?! “Y-y-you’re Joie de Vivre, Opera O’s new understudy, aren’t you?!”

Oh, good. My reputation preceded me. “I, well, ahaha...” I laughed nervously, “I wouldn’t say I’m her understudy, so much as I was going to have the same trainer as her, and then he disappeared-”

“And then, in her infinite kindness, she took you under her wing!” ‘Digitan’ finished for me. “And then, she leaned in and said, ‘Don’t you worry, Joie, I’ll take care of everything... One day, my radiance shall shine through you as well!’ Ooooohh!!!1!1! Ashgflsakj!” How the hell did she make those noises with her mouth?! “Th-th-this is too much! I’ve gotta... Gyaaaaah!”

And just like that, she was gone, leaving a trail of papers in her wake as she sped back down the hallway. Well... she certainly was a lively character. Not much for me to do but pick up my papers and make sure they were all in order- though there were too many for them all to be mine. I’d have to figure out which ones were hers, and find her again later.

It was at that moment that Fuji Kiseki caught up with me. “Sorry about that. I heard shouting- is everything okay up here?”

“I, well, I’m okay... not so sure about that other girl, though.” I said. “I bumped into her by accident, and she was the one apologizing. Then she made some kinda... weird noise with her mouth...” I gestured vaguely with my hand, trying to figure out some way of communicating what I’d just heard. “And then she ran off.”

“Ah... I think I know who that might be.” Fuji nodded. “I’ll help you gather up your papers, then.”

“Thanks.” I knelt down to pick some more up off of the floor, stuffing them all into my folder. I’d sort them out when I got to my room- I didn’t feel like tempting fate any further, lest I be dragged into yet another wacky conversation with another weirdo.

In short order, the two of us had picked up all of the papers that had been scattered about. I even made sure to check and see if something had fallen behind a piece of furniture, or floated down the stairs. “I think that’s everything! Thanks for helping, Fuji-”

I was cut off by Fuji’s expression alone, as she regarded me with a mixture of disappointment, disgust, and pity. What’d I do this time?!

“I, um, what’s with that look?” I asked nervously- maybe she saw one of my documents and it looked obviously fake?

“It’s just... I didn’t take you for someone who’d be into that kind of thing.” Fuji sighed enigmatically. “Well, so long as you keep it to yourself, I suppose...”

Huh???

Fuji handed me the stack of papers she’d picked up off of the floor, and the very first thing I saw was... a manga? It was rather well-drawn, even if the characters were obvious ripoffs of TM Opera O and Meisho Doto’s likenesses. And they were... Oh. Oh wow. I um... I feel like I shouldn’t describe this.

I glanced back up at Fuji turning away from me. Wait, did she think these were mine?!

“Fuuujiiii! You’ve got it all wroooong!”

-----

The facilities here were rather nice- as to be expected from a top-of-the-line institution like Tracen Academy, but I was still impressed. Each floor had a common area for hangouts, a small kitchen for personal cooking (we were expected to clean up after ourselves), and our rooms came with small washrooms. Each dorm building had its own large bath, though private showers were available for umamusume from places unused to public bathing.

I felt really nervous about the idea of bathing with other umamusume, but I didn’t want to seem like a loner just because I was nervous... A problem for later.

“And here we are!” Fuji Kiseki announced, gesturing towards a closed door. “This will be your room. Your ID card should be able to unlock it via the card reader, but if it doesn’t or you lose it, feel free to talk to me about it. I also know some people would rather have physical keys, so we can make one of those if you want.

This was just one hallway of many, it seemed, full of identical-seeming doors that likely led to identical rooms- identical except for their inhabitants. This was what I wanted, but it still felt surreal to be welcomed inside the dorm and shown to my room- just another Umamusume. As though I wasn’t special at all.

That particular notion brought up some complicated feelings that I didn’t feel like addressing, so instead I focused on flipping through the now-much-larger pile of papers in my folder- most of which were that pink-haired girl’s... doujin work of my friends. Part of me wanted to just light the stupid thing on fire out of spite, considering I wasn’t sure if I’d successfully convinced Fuji that this thing wasn’t mine (and also because it was really weird seeing my friends depicted like that), but I figured that I ought not make any major enemies on my very first day at the academy and at least try to play nice. Or, at least, I wouldn’t try to make any major enemies on purpose. I still wasn’t sure about Air Groove, and my reputation was already out of my hands, so...

“Found it.” A small purple keycard, with my name and face on it, as though I’d gone and gotten my picture taken for it and everything. My hair was even done up nicer in the photo than it was right now. I held the card up to the card-reader by the door and it beeped softly, and I heard a quick “clack” from the door as the deadbolt retracted.

“Rest assured, the only people able to get in are you and your roommate- although the staff and I have a key to get in, that’s only for emergencies like fires and such.” Fuji smiled warmly. “We’ll be carrying out inspections the second Monday of each month to make sure you’re taking care of your living space, but other than that you’re free to do as you please with the space so long as you don’t damage anything or keep people up past lights-out. I’m sure you read the contract, though, right?”

Yep. The contract. That I definitely read, and wasn’t signed for me by an unknown entity. I nodded mutely, not willing to outright speak a lie. Hopefully just acting like a sane individual would mean that I wouldn’t run afoul of any obscure rules, right...? Just go to sleep at a reasonable time, don’t make a ruckus, don’t smash up your room... Just be a normal umamusume, like my roommate would be.

“Right! Well, from the smell...” Fuji waved her hand in front of her face while wincing, prompting me to try and sniff out the smell. The faint fragrance of... patchouli? “I think your roommate’s already around, so go ahead and introduce yourself! You’ll be sharing your living space with her for as long as you’re both enrolled here, so try to get along, yeah?”

With the smile on her face, I could hear a quiet plea. The plea of a woman who was so very tired of mediating interpersonal disputes between roommates, and desperately wanted me to not give her yet more work.

“Right.” I nodded, determined not to disappoint her more than I already had (through no fault of my own). “Thanks for showing me around!” It didn’t escape my notice how Fuji quickly backed up from the door as I moved to open it...

And, as soon as the door cracked open even a little bit, the smell blasted me right in the face. Perhaps the fact that I could smell it through the door was an indicator, but the scent of patchouli was now anything but faint- in fact, it was hard to concentrate on much else, but I gave it an effort regardless.

It was a fairly normal-looking dormitory, though the lights were off and instead a dim, multicolored pattern was illuminating the room. The desks beside the beds were cluttered with dozens and dozens of jars with cloth coverings and sticks poked into them. The left-side desk was the only one that had any space at all. Instead of the typical wall-hangings you might expect in a dorm room, instead there were several strings criss-crossed between the walls, from which hung various articles of colorful clothing in various states of dryness. They gently drifted in the breeze provided by a standing fan that was propped up on the right-side bed.

In the center of the room was a tall, lanky umamusume with tanned skin, though I could barely see her past the various articles of clothing and the overwhelming smell of patchouli oil. She had long, curly brown hair, wore a simple pair of rounded sunglasses on her nose, and had a large peace-sign earring dangling from her left ear. She was in the process of affixing yet another shirt to one of the clotheslines that covered the room- shirts she was seemingly in the process of dyeing, from the mess of colors on her hands and her uniform.

“Heyyyy...” She mumbled out, her voice low and reserved. “Aren’tcha supposed to knock...?”

Fuji Kiseki quickly stepped in, covering her mouth and nose in as polite a manner as she could without making it horribly obvious that she couldn’t stand the smell. “Peaceful World -” She was probably going to introduce me first, but from her tone and the way she quickly flicked on the lights in a way that made my prospective roommate flinch, it was clear she was about to scold her instead. “What a bad pony you are... How many times do you need to be told not to do this indoors?! You’re going to stain the flooring!”

“Hey, chill out,” The Umamusume evidently named Peaceful World raised her hands plaintively, though her tone didn’t change at all. “I’ll get the stains out before inspection day. It’s all good.”

“The rules don’t only apply on inspection day, you know...!” Fuji sighed out. “And you’ve hogged the whole room, too...”

“Well, it’s not like I have a roommate, so...” Peaceful World shrugged.

“Um.” I spoke up as I ducked under one of the wet pieces of fabric to find a clear line-of-sight. “Hi.”

“Oh.” Surprise faintly registered on her face as our eyes met for the first time. Hers were a deep green, tinged with blue. “Bummer.”

Bummer?! That’s the first thing she had to say to me...? I was already annoyed with this chick.

“Ugh- I don’t want to have to do this,” Fuji sighed out, “But this is the last straw. I’m going to have to confiscate all of these.” She roughly tore down one of the still-wet shirts from off of the clotheslines, causing it to bounce wildly.

“Hey, wait,” Peaceful World actually raised her voice slightly, “Those are for my poetry assignment, man!”

“Poetry-” Fuji narrowed her eyes in confusion, and then sighed. “... Okay, whatever. You’re getting a note from your professor by friday saying these are actually for an assignment, or I’m not letting you keep these up. And you’re going to have to make room for- Oh, Joie, I’m sorry, I forgot to introduce you!”

“It’s fine...” I sighed out. Considering how I’d already been harassed by two different weirdoes on my way into the building, I quietly cursed myself for ignorantly assuming that my roommate would actually be a normal umamusume.

“Nah, I get the picture. Guess it was pretty dumb to assume I’d stay flyin’ solo all year.” Peaceful World shrugged noncommittally. “Though, uh, I guess I’ll have to figure out where to put some of my stuff now...”

“It’s fine. I don’t have much anyway, so I’ll just... tuck this in my desk and that’ll be it.” 

“Right, well...” Fuji sighed. “I’ll be around if you need anything, Joie...” Fuji pinned up the shirt she’d tore down as gingerly as she could, before excusing herself from the room. Very quickly, I found myself alone in a room with the stranger who I’d be living with for the foreseeable future.

“Mind turnin’ the lights off?” She asked, drying her hands on a towel. “Harshes my vibe.”

“Um, okay...” I quietly flicked off the light switch as requested, causing the room to instead be gently lit up by a dozen small circles in a dozen different colors that slowly rotated around the room.

She flopped onto her bed- the one that didn’t have a fan standing on it. “Thanks, uh...”

Oh, crap, I hadn’t actually introduced myself! Though, it was weird holding a conversation when I could hardly see my roommate’s face past all of the pieces of clothing dangling from the strings. “I’m, um... Joie de Vivre. It’s nice to meet you.” I lied, deciding that I ought to at least overlook the many, many things that immediately annoyed me about this umamusume for the sake of a cordial introduction.

“Peaceful World.” She said her name, though I’d already heard it from Fuji. “Call me Peace. Call me World. Doesn’t really matter to me - but personally, I like Peace better, y’know?”

I timidly shuffled my way to the cluttered desk, getting a better look at all of the jars in the process. They were all filled with different-colored liquids, and the sticks poked into them all had some kind of crystals growing on them. “Um... what are these, exactly?”

“Rock candy in progress,” Peace said plainly. It was now that I was really beginning to notice just how monotone she was. She wasn’t robotic, just constantly relaxed. She barely bothered inflecting her voice for much at all. “Sorry for the clutter. Used to leave ‘em in the kitchen to crystallize, but people kept throwin’ ‘em out.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to just buy some from the store...?” I lowered my eyes to be level with the desk and looked into the jars. It was harder to tell in the dim light, but some were farther along than others.

“Nah, man. I make ‘em all myself, and I make sure only to use ethically-grown cane sugar. Big companies put all sorts of crap in their sweets to make ‘em more addicting, y’know?”

“I’m not sure people need that much help getting addicted to sweets,” I laughed, remembering the umamusume penchant for sweet treats of all kinds- in fact, knowing that these were candy, I found myself pretty tempted to pop one of those sticks in my mouth then and there. 

Tearing my brain away from that idea, I decided to look for a place to put what few belongings I had. Thankfully, there was a drawer with a lock on it and the key still inside, clearly meant for sensitive documents, diaries, and the like. At least my roommate wasn’t hogging that. I quickly stashed my folder inside, locked it, and took the key.

I’d sort out my documents from that weirdo’s love story about my friends later. Preferably when my roommate wasn’t around to make the same assumption that Fuji did. I was also definitely going to have to get a wallet or something soon. Maybe a bag would look cute...?

“Joie de Vivre, huh... why does that ring a bell...?” Peaceful World snapped her fingers, clearly trying to recall something. “Think I heard a couple’a my classmates talking about you...?”

“Ah, well...” I laughed nervously, trying not to think about how most of the people I’d met today knew my name before I ever introduced myself. “I guess it’s normal for rumors to go around about a new student, and my circumstances are pretty weird...” Not that I could ever tell her just how weird they were.

“Yeah. Your hair says it all. Pretty sad poem, actually.”

“Huh?” I turned to look at her, though she was just staring at the ceiling. Did she know something? Was there something about my hair that gave it away? Was it the fact that I hadn’t had a chance to brush it yet?

“Hope falling down, surrounded by victory and fear, giving way to quiet peace...” Peaceful World mumbled enigmatically. “Like I said, sad poem. Pretty complex, though, so I’ll give you props for that. My hair’s pretty boring by comparison.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I stated flatly, no longer at all fearful that she might know something about me that she shouldn’t.

“Your hair. Colors have meanings, y’know? So when a bunch of colors are together, it’s a poem.”

“I think you’re the first person to tell me that my hair was poetry,” I laughed out, not sure how to feel. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

“Can be if you want.” Peaceful World’s eyes traced the path of the circles on the ceilings, projected by the small lamp on her desk covered in colored disks. I idly wondered if she considered that to be poetry, too.

I... really had no idea what to make of this girl at all. She seemed incredibly easygoing, so hopefully I’d get along well with her, but that blase, ‘don’t make a big deal of it’ attitude kinda rubbed me the wrong way- especially considering she hadn’t moved an inch to take any of her stuff out of my side of the room.

“So, um... when are you going to free up my desk...? I’d like to be able to do my schoolwork, y’know...”

“You got schoolwork?” Peaceful World turned to look at me. 

“Um, well, no-”

“Then I’ll figure it out when you do.” She turned back to staring at the colors swirling around on the ceiling.

“And I assume you’ll figure out what to do with the fan when I go to bed?”

“Bingo.”

“And the perfume...?” I pinched the bridge of my nose. I didn’t mind the smell of patchouli all that much, but this was a bit overwhelming to the point where it was already giving me a headache. If it wasn’t for the fact that it was really chilly outside, I would’ve just opened the window to air out the room.

“Essential oil, man, not perfume. Already been over it with Fuji; it’s not perfume, so I’m not in trouble. It’ll mellow out once all the stuff’s dry.”

... Right, perfumes were probably banned on school grounds. I’d have to read back over the agreement again when I got a free moment (and I wasn’t worried that dye was going to drip onto the documents).

“Well, um...” I wasn’t sure how else to continue the conversation. “Dinner should be served soon. Do you want to visit the cafeteria together?”

“Nah, man.” I felt my ears twitch. What, did she not want to be seen with me or something? Was I that much of a mess? It HAD been a stressful day, but I hoped that I wasn’t that bad looking...

Sensing my offense, she continued; “Don’t take it personally. I don’t eat anything from there. Cook my own meals vegetarian-style, all sourced from local farms.”

“Doesn’t that take up a lot of time?” I raised up an eyebrow. “Aren’t you here to race? That’s a lot of time you could use for training... never mind that you need protein to-”

“Yeah, yeah,” Peace’s voice actually twinged with annoyance at that. It seemed I’d touched a nerve with that comment. “Heard it all before, so don’t bother. I can mind my own business. Don’t need you to do it for me, I already got a trainer for that.”

“... Right. I’m sorry, that was rude to say.” I conceded, though I wasn’t really sure why I was admitting I was being rude, considering Peaceful World had already announced her intent to keep her clutter on my side of the room until the very moment I needed the space for something else. 

“Well, have fun cooking dinner, I suppose. I’ll be back later.” I shuffled back through the room- It was a good thing that poor Doto wasn’t assigned to be this girl’s roommate instead of me, or she’d have absolutely tripped on something and knocked down all these clotheslines by now.

“Mhm.” My roommate acknowledged. “Peace out.”

Oh, like her name. Cute.

Notes:

Meet Peaceful World, our first 'original' Umamusume for the work. She is based on Peace of World, and actually cousins with Taiki Shuttle- not that such a thing is particularly uncommon in the world of thoroughbred horse racing, I suppose. Really, as one of Sunday Silence's many progeny, it's probably easier to list off who she isn't related to, but I find the Taiki Shuttle link particularly amusing.

She's also related to certain other mare...

Chapter 7: Chance Encounters

Summary:

"Although we come across many of them within our lives, coincidences are precious things. Even the smallest twist of fate could one day set you upon the path of an Overlord!"

“... And this, my dearest friend, is a designer suit from Italy. No need to compliment me on my taste, for I already know that it is immaculate! The jacket and pants should pair quite nicely with some of the silken dress shirts, though I should say that you may want to save it for special occasions, for it needs to be dry-cleaned, less the delicate fabric warp...”

It was the next day and as usual, I was swept up in a storm of TM Opera O’s enthusiasm. I had offhandedly mentioned to her the previous night that I needed to go shopping for clothes, and, well... I wasn’t sure what I thought would happen if it wasn’t going to be this. I was probably lucky that the Director was giving me a week to get myself situated and pick out what classes I wanted to take while I was here- otherwise I’d absolutely be late today.

“Ah, yes! I specifically chose this cravat to compliment your eyes! So fortunate you are that you are alike to me in this way- for now, my infinite, ineffable wisdom in the realm of fashionability may be extended to you with little need for adjustment upon either of our parts! Haaa ha ha ha!”

I couldn’t even see Opera at this point. Sure, I could look sideways and catch a glimpse or two of Umamusume on their way to their morning classes - some of whom were gawking at the tower of extremely fashionable hubris that Opera was building. The pile of packaged garments upon my lap was so large that I was pretty sure that if I sneezed, it’d all topple over. I wasn’t even sure how she was putting more on top. She wasn’t that much taller than I was, after all... Maybe she was using a stepladder?

“And this...” Opera said with a flourish, doubtlessly presenting for my benefit a garment that I could not see, “Is a cape! For casual events, of course, as it lacks the usual embroidery that I’d prefer...”

I had been wanting to wait until she was finished before I interrupted her, but I was beginning to worry that she was simply going to keep going until either she filled the entire common room with clothes, or I suffocated under the weight of the entire wardrobe she had evidently bought me. I wasn’t sure how she’d even gotten some of this stuff delivered to the academy overnight. Really though, most of all, I was morbidly curious to see just how far this would go- though it would make what I wanted to say sting all the more for the both of us.

“O-Opera,” A new voice came from behind me- Meisho Doto, entering my floor’s common room. I glanced over to see her carrying a small tower of packages. “I think these are the last of- Awawawa?!”

And, right on cue, she slipped on something (probably discarded packaging), tripped, and the packages she was carrying sailed right into the tower, knocking it over and freeing me from my prison. I didn’t so much as flinch as the rubble of the tower settled into place.

“Thanks, Doto,” I tried not to laugh, “My legs were getting sore.”

“Awawa- I’m so so so sorry!” Doto fussed in her usual way.

“Ah, but you give us more time to appreciate each of these boxes in detail once again as we move to retrieve them all for our dear friend here-”

“About that.” I interrupted. “Um... I’m touched by your kindness, Opera, but I don’t think I want to dress like you...”

TM Opera O acted as though I had stabbed her in the heart. “Oh! What’s this?! A betrayal, in the final act? Oh, for our heroine to have been so callously run through, by her closest companion, no less...?!” She swooned dramatically onto one of the couches- nearly crushing one of the packages in the process. I think that one contained a hat?

“I- Opera, really, I appreciate all of this a lot, but, um...” I fiddled with my thumbs. “The way you dress... is kinda boyish?”

She was in one of her casual outfit today- a tasteful pair of navy-blue plaid slacks with a matching blazer and gilded white dress shirt. She also had a designer belt buckle bearing the logo of some brand or another. I couldn’t deny that she pulled the look off- Opera could probably make a trashbag look good if she wanted to.

“Joie de Vivre!” Opera O swooned again while laying down (an impressive feat of dramatics). “Are you implying I, TM Opera O, am not the pinnacle of the feminine form? That the Overlord is... bereft of beauty and graceful charm...?” She intentionally held her fingers delicately close to her face, her lips apart ever so-slightly, and batted her eyelashes. She looked like she was on the verge of tears- in the way that I knew it was because she was acting, and not actually about to cry.

I actually had to look away. She was going to make me blush, looking at me like that, and I just refused to think of Opera in that way. She was more like a big sister to me than anything- or, well- Little sister? Our relationship was complicated. In a strictly platonic sense. “You know what I mean!” I barked. “Look, your fashion sense is very nice, but it’s not for me!”

“I, um, think... you... look nice, Opera...” Doto quietly stammered, her voice barely audible. I quickly glanced in her direction, and she was completely red in the face and trying to hide it by picking up packages from the floor.

Hm. Maybe that doujin wasn’t that far off the mark, actually.

“Ah, well!” Opera instantly recovered from the mortal wound that I had apparently dealt to her. “These garments now belong to you nonetheless, for there were no refunds available for the express shipping option!”

“I don’t even have room for all this anyway! I got probably the most disorganized roommate in the history of Tracen Academy. I didn’t even check our closet, but I half-expect it to be full of jars of essential oils or crystals or... something.” I complained about Peaceful World, knowing full well that it was bad manners to do so behind her back. I also got up from my seat to start helping Doto pick packages up off of the floor, since I felt bad watching her scramble about on her hands and knees (and bump her head on the table in the process).

“What about your house?”

I froze in my tracks. Right. That.

“I, um...” I laughed nervously. “I’d... rather not go back there, if that’s okay...”

Opera’s demeanor quieted down a bit as she got more serious. “I’m not going to pretend I know your mind, Joie, but this is something that you will have to reckon with sooner or later - if not with me, then with someone else. Whether you like it or not, that is a piece of property you still own - Though I suppose the deed would no longer be in your name...”

“I don’t own it.” I frowned. “That man owned it. I’m someone else.”

“That’s...” Opera O sighed. “I will admit, I still don’t fully understand. It was touched upon in the meeting with the student council, but... what do you remember of your old life?”

I really, really did not want to be having this conversation right now- not just because anyone passing by could overhear us, but because I just did not want to have this conversation. Ever. I felt a pit form in my stomach as I worked to stack boxes on the table in silence.

“Joie, I understand if you don’t want to talk about it here...” Opera’s eyes flicked over to the hallway, seemingly checking for eavesdroppers. “You do at the very least remember those five years we worked together, yes?”

“They’re just about the only thing I remember.” My expression darkened. “Everything about that man is something I’d rather live my life without thinking about.”

Opera’s expression was inscrutable. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking. A long, quiet moment passed with only the sound of footsteps in the hallway breaking the silence.

“An idea most ingenious, then!” Opera O’s expression suddenly snapped back to her usual, smug smile. “I shall bear these articles of clothing to your former residence for storage, until such a time you have need of them.”

I took a breath of relief, though I did notice that the tension in the room hadn’t completely gone away. “... Thanks. They’ll probably come in handy if we have to go to a formal event.” I tried to at least find a silver lining - I didn’t want to outright refuse her gift, after all, though I did wish she had at least considered that I might not want to wear the same clothes as her. Even if I did, though... I really didn’t want people to think that I was just TM Opera O 2.0. It was already bad enough starting my career in her shadow, having everyone know just whose auspices I was under...

Opera O would probably say that standing in her shadow would only cause my light to shine brighter. If only I could understand what the hell that meant, maybe it’d be true.

“Right, well...” I went to go fish in my skirt pocket to give Opera O my keys on instinct, only to realize that the only keys I had on me were my ID card and the key to my private drawer. “Wait. Where’s the keys...?”

“Ah.” Opera’s expression went blank as a moment of realization struck her. “If I had to guess... either in the trash with your old clothing, or in the fountain.”

“Um-” Meisho Doto quietly spoke up, standing up from the ground with the last of Opera’s scattered packages. “I actually kept them from when you said you wanted to throw all your old things out... I kept your wallet, too-” Doto fussed. “I, um, sorry if that’s weird, but I figured you might’ve wanted them back eventually, and I wasn’t sure when to bring it up, and then I forgot to mention it... I’m sorry- and I don’t think the phone works anymore, and it’s probably because I dropped it-”

TM Opera O laughed. “Haaa ha ha ha! Well done, Meisho Doto! I knew I was right to place my trust in you!”

Of course, Opera’s sudden laugh startled Doto, who nearly launched the package she’d picked up right into the pile of packages again...

=====

Holycrapholycrapholycrap!!!!! Agnes Digital was doing her absolute best not to run through the hallway and cause a ruckus as she walked VERY CALMLY back to her dorm room. She contained her squeeing very well, in fact, and got no strange looks from anyone.

Ever since her encounter with Joie de Vivre last night, Digitan had been voraciously pursuing all of the information she could about this new oshi of hers- this perfect angel of the Three Goddesses, sent here to forgive Digital herself for being unworthy of breathing the same air as her idols. Overnight, she’d become the number one Joie de Vivre fan, and knew everything there was to know about her-

Which was apparently nothing at all.

Seriously. It was kinda messed up- she’d searched Umatter, nothing. Umatube, nothing. Umoogle, nothing! Umapedia, nothing! All she ever found was definitions for a french phrase. She’d even resorted to looking up actual races to see what Joie de Vivre had participated in (bad form, since it got dangerously close to stalking, and Digital swore under oath not to wield such a forbidden technique again). But despite that, none of the regional databases had anything on her either! She didn’t even have an Umabook account, and looking that up would definitely have been stalking, so it was a good thing she didn’t! 

Digital even briefly considered compromising her strict otaku code and directly asking her roommate, Tachyon, about Joie de Vivre- though if Digitan couldn’t turn up anything about an umamusume, it was probably unlikely that Tachyon knew anything about her anyway. This girl was a complete ghost in the machine- it was almost as though she’d simply appeared out of thin air one day. 

Butbububut-- That conversation Digital had just overheard- It’s because she did!

Not that Digital had meant to overhear it! She was just looking for the manuscript of her doujin manga that she’d just finished illustrating and had so clumsily dropped when she’d made the horrible mistake of being in Joie’s way (a crime for which Digitan still didn’t forgive herself). But at the crash site, the manuscript was gone, and a meticulous search of every floor of the dorm yielded no results- the manuscript wasn’t even in any of the trash bins! She was just going to check this floor’s common area, but then she heard Opera O, and, well, she wanted to observe from a respectful distance and not bother them by being visible (she definitely wasn’t hiding), but then... She heard it. The dark truth.

Digital hurried back down the stairwell as quickly as she dared while pondering her forbidden knowledge... Knowledge that Joie de Vivre wasn’t just any umamusume- she had a dark and mysterious past that she didn’t want to talk about, even with TM Opera O, who Joie had worked with in secret for five years! The press supposedly knew everything about the Centurial Overlord, since she was incredibly eager to share- and yet, she’d kept this hidden prodigy from them for five years! Nobody else could possibly be capable of such an absolutely umazing feat!!!

Agnes Digital had deduced it all... Joie de Vivre was an assumed name, a new identity for her after her old life fell to pieces... But! Her savior, TM Opera O, came to her in her time of need! Rescued from a life of poverty and want where she would have been doomed never to race due to circumstances beyond her control, TM Opera O mentored this poor girl in secret and made her dreams a reality...

Who was that mysterious man the two were talking about? Joie de Vivre’s father, naturally, whom Opera O had known, and he had just died- but on his deathbed, he left everything to his daughter, regretting his misdeeds! Oh, but the trauma has erased Joie’s memories! And what was this- signs of a fledgeling romance between mentor and student...? But such love is forbidden! And what of poor Doto, who must now compete for her rival’s affections?!

Digitan slapped her ID against the card reader, and waited those agonizing moments between the card being read and the deadbolt clicking open. As soon as it did, she VERY QUIETLY AND GENTLY ducked into her room, careful not to disturb the still-slumbering Agnes Tachyon as she leapt into her desk chair. Unfortunately, graceless creature that she was, she screwed up even that simple act when the chair squeaked in response to the weight she put on it.

“My, my, Digital...” Tachyon mumbled, stirring from her slumber, her eyes heavy with the weight of her scientific genius and also probably staying up too late again (Fuji’s words, not Digitan’s). “What’s got you so excited this early in the morning?”

She said, despite it being 9 in the morning- which obviously meant the clock was wrong, of course.

“Gyeeeah!” Digitan screamed, quietly. “I didn’t mean to wake you up- I swear! I, um- I just, had a talk with one of my oshis, and um-” Of course, it was a sin to lie to an umamusume, but she had no other choice! She would be a complete disgrace of an otaku if she divulged even the barest scrap of this ill-gotten information. Joie de Vivre’s secret would accompany Digital to the grave. “I, um, I’m really inspired, so- I’ll just work! As quietly as I can! Pretend I’m not here!” She knelt as though in prayer and smiled weakly, hoping Tachyon bought it enough to leave her alone.

“Mhm,” Tachyon rolled out of bed. “It’s quite alright. I should get up right about now anyway- I’ve acquired the most fascinating data, and I didn’t get a chance to review it properly, so you won’t have to worry about me.” Tachyon really was too kind...!

Without another word between the two, Tachyon ambled out of the dorm room, leaving Agnes Digital alone with her brush and her paper... Her tools of the trade, with which she would forge her greatest masterpiece yet.

Yes, she knew that RPF was a sin, but she always made sure to make it so nobody would ever know who she was writing about. And really, she just couldn’t help herself-

It was just such good material!

=====

With Opera gone to bring all of those packages to my old home (wherever it was), now it was just Doto and I in the shopping district. The problem was, we were both just sort of walking around - I wasn’t sure where to start, and Doto probably didn’t want to impose any of her ideas onto me.

It didn’t help that the wallet in my pocket felt like a brick of lead weighing me down. Even if I’d agreed to keep the money, even just holding something that used to belong to him filled me with a sense of unease, like the wallet itself was cursed.

Before leaving, I had already taken out all of the old ID cards and destroyed them (it was perhaps a bit too satisfying taking a pair of scissors to that ugly thing that I used to call a face). Even still, the banking card emanated a dark energy. Using this was accepting a deal with the devil.

I probably should have been more worried about my aversion to my old life, but in my eyes, the Goddesses had seen fit to give me a new one. In a way, it felt like throwing their gift back in their face, acknowledging my old life at all. I’d have preferred it if I could simply snap my fingers and make it so that man had simply never existed, and I was merely a normal umamusume experiencing normal problems.

Part of me wondered why the goddesses hadn’t done exactly that.

“I, um...” Doto fidgeted. “Did you... have any ideas on where to start...?” I was shaken out of my contemplation. Right. I was here to do something. I’d already made my peace with what I needed to do in order to accomplish it, so there was no point in backing down now.

“Well, um... I don’t really remember the shopping district all that well. Are there any stores that you like, Doto?”

“Ah, um...” Doto continued to fidget with her hands as she shrank down. “I mean... I suppose there are, but I don’t really know if they’re up to your standards... The sort of things I buy aren’t really for... classy umamusume...” 

“I’m a little surprised you see me as ‘classy’,” I laughed a bit at the misplaced compliment, “But if classy was what I wanted, I would’ve just gone with whatever Opera picked out. Clothing isn’t really something I put much thought into before, so... I might as well look around and see if anything jumps off the shelf at me, right?”

“A-ah, well-” Doto came to a halt. “There’s um, a small store that specializes in Umamusume clothing... but we already passed it... I-I’m sorry, I should’ve said something sooner!”

“Don’t blame yourself because I was spacing out.” I tried not to sound too annoyed. The conversation died there as we started walking back towards the shop she was talking about. 

Doto was my friend, sure, but it was really only because she stuck around Opera so much that I’d become acquainted with her. Normally, I’d probably find her tendency to self-deprecate exhausting, since it felt like I was always walking on eggshells around her. Any little slight against her would kick off a catastrophic cascade of crumbling confidence.

Really, you wouldn’t know that this woman was one of the strongest racers of her generation just by talking to her. It actually took me a long time to warm up to her- I’d used to think that she was fishing for compliments whenever she did this, but no, she really did just have that little self-esteem.

Not that I was in a place to judge, really... She probably stuck with Opera for the same reasons I did- hoping that supernatural, magnetic confidence of Opera’s rubbed off on her. Maybe she annoyed me so much at first because she reminded me of myself...

“Um... Have you tried any of the food from around here?” Doto asked, trying to make conversation. “The street vendors won’t be open until later, so um, I guess we can’t really stop and check, but...”

“I think maybe once or twice, but Opera didn’t come here that often.” I held my hand to my chin. “And... if I ever came here after work, then I don’t remember.”

“Mm...” Doto hummed. “That means you get to try out a bunch of food for the first time again. I’m kinda jealous...”

“That’s a weird thing to be jealous of.” I snapped, before I remembered who I was talking to. I immediately sprung into damage control, trying hopelessly to take back my words before they reached Doto’s ears. “I mean- well, I guess I’m just in a weird situation anyway, so it’s not a big deal...”

Was that really the best I could’ve come up with? Damn it, me!

“N-no, I’m sorry...” Doto shrank in size as what little confidence she had left her like a deflating balloon. “I shouldn’t have brought it up... I’m really sorry, I know you don’t... really want to talk about it...”

Ugh. Now I’d done it. I covered my forehead, more annoyed with myself than anything for setting her off like this. “No, it’s fine, I shouldn’t have snapped at you.” Maybe a quick distraction would break her train of thought? “Look- is that the store you were talking about? Let’s check it out.”

I took her by the arm and pulled her into the closest clothing store nearby, not paying that much attention to the clothes on display. It didn’t even really matter if it was the right one - I just wanted her to focus on something that wasn’t self-deprecation. I heard her “Awawawa-” behind me, but I just pulled her up the stairs and into the tiny shop.

“Welcome!” I heard the shopkeeper say from behind the counter. I turned to look at her, and she was faced away from us, adjusting something on the shelf behind her. She was wearing... Gothic Lolita?

I quickly glanced at the rest of the store just to confirm that yes, I’d walked us into a gothic lolita store. Doto and I were surrounded by oversized teddy bears in pink and black and an enormous assortment of frilly dresses (and frilly dress accessories).

Well, there was no backing out now. I’d simply have to make like TM Opera O, double down, and pretend this was intentional.

The shopkeeper turned around to face us, only for her to be surprised when she actually saw us. “Oh!” She exclaimed, looking a bit shocked. “You’re from Tracen Academy? Um-” Clearly, she wasn’t expecting a pair of Umamusume to walk into her store, and I felt her quickly put her customer service voice back on as she spied an opportunity to make a big sale. “What a pleasant surprise! Our Umamusume stock is a bit limited, but everything is clearly labeled! Please, take your time!”

“Awawawa-” Doto tugged on my sleeve. “Th-this isn’t the right store, Joie...”

“That’s okay!” I grinned, committed to pretending this was intentional. “Looking around can’t hurt, right?”

“I-I guess not...” Doto mumbled, still a bit discouraged. “The, um... the clothes here look really expensive, and I don’t want to break anything, so I’ll just... stand over here...”

“No, it’s fine!” I insisted- she’d just keep stewing in her anxiety if I left her to her own devices. “C’mon. Maybe you’ll find something you like, too?”

“If you say so...” Doto looked around at the racks of clothing, hunched over nervously. “Do they even make anything in our size, though...?”

“I’m sure they do.” Despite her protestations, the two of us had approached the first clothing rack, and I let go of her to start browsing through.

Most of the stuff on the clothing rack was simpler dresses, lacking the over-the-top frills and lace endemic to the genre of lolita fashion- There were a couple of dresses in large display cases which were good examples of that sort of excessive ornamentation (one of them seemingly came with a matching parasol).

Unfortunately, I could also tell that the majority of these pieces of clothing were not suitable for me. Most of them were made for humans- it made sense, considering that umamusume were a fraction of the population. However, I could also tell that a lot of these were fast fashion with cheap stitching and seams that would come apart with daily use. If I had to spend his money, I’d do it on something that wouldn’t fall apart in a month.

... A lot of them did look really cute, though.

“How about this?” I pulled out a dress that I liked well enough, and it looked like it was made for Umamusume. “Think this would look cute on me?”

“Um...” Doto pressed her fingers together. “Do you think it’d fit...?”

I considered for a moment that it might have been useful to actually ask Tachyon for my measurements- because looking at this thing, it definitely wasn’t big enough in the chest for me, and a number to compare to the one on the label would probably have saved me the grief of getting my hopes up. My enthusiasm was crushed by the horrible weight of reality as I drearily recalled the royal pain that was wearing TM Opera O’s uniform for half a day.

“Um, I could help you find something like it!” The shopkeeper chirped, clearly desperate to keep us on the hook. “Or I could refer you to a tailoring service!”

“It’s fine,” I said quietly, still wary of this lady. “We’re just looking around.”

The chime above the door rang again. Someone else was coming inside. Out of sheer instinct, I ducked down behind the clothing rack, and Doto did the same, though from her expression, she didn’t entirely know why we were hiding.

“... I don’t know if they’ll have anything for me here, but it never hurts to check, right?” A cheerful female voice, high-pitched and energetic, entered the store. “Besides, I thought I’d have to go all the way to Shinjuku to find a place like this!”

“Okay, okay, we can look around.” An older female voice, with an accent- wait, I recognized that voice... But from where?

“Welcome, welcome!” The shopkeeper stopped staring at Doto and I in our hiding spot long enough to turn and greet the new customers, who I couldn’t see from here- and the same look of surprise crossed her face as when I’d entered the store. “Oh! Are you looking for your classmates?”

Classmates? Were the other customers from Tracen? I heard the familiar clack of cleats on the floor. I very quickly got my answer as a girl in a Tracen uniform nearly stumbled right over Doto and I in our hiding spot.

“Bwaaah!” She yelped.

“Yaaaah!” Doto yelped.

“Aaaack!” I yelped.

We all then stared at one another, feeling very silly. Or maybe it was just me that felt silly?

“U-um,” The girl started, “Why are you hiding behind the clothes racks...?”

The girl standing before me was rather average in a lot of respects, but she was an Umamusume regardless- wearing the uniform of Tracen Academy, no less. Her eyes were a pastel pink and apologetic-looking, not just because she’d nearly bowled into the both of us. Her shoulder-length hair was a light pinkish-brown, with straight bangs and a gentle waviness that suggested a meticulous hair-care routine. She wore a baby-blue ribbon around her left ear, with matching ribbons decorating her hair on either side of her face. The one thing that stuck out to me the most was the cute little frog hairpin she wore on the left side of her bangs.

“I-I don’t know!” Doto stammered out before I could respond. “I-I’m sorry, we’re in your way...”

The other customer walked over, seemingly wondering what the ruckus was about. “Is there something...?” Her eyes flickered with recognition as she looked at me- and indeed, I recognized her as well. She was the trainer from the cafeteria yesterday- Noelle McCormick?

“Wait, aren’t you Joie de Vivre? And... Meisho Doto?” She looked rather surprised to see me. “What are you two doing here? And why are you hiding- wait, are you playing hookey?”

I quickly stood up, and Doto followed suit. “Nonono!” I held up my hands. “Neither of us have class today, I swear!”

Noelle narrowed her eyes, clearly jotting down some notes in her brain about how much of a slacker I clearly was. “Uh huh. So, what are you doing, hiding in the back of a clothing store...?”

“I, um, well-” I stammered. “I... was shopping for clothes?”

“Hm. Must not be a very reputable establishment if they keep their clothes on the floor, then!” She cracked a smile and eased up a bit. “We must’ve startled you. My apologies.”

It struck me a bit that she remembered from just that one encounter how nervous I was- in fact, from that encounter, that was probably the only trait of mine that she remembered at all. “Um, well...” I struggled to find what to say. “Apology accepted?”

“You already know them, Trainer?” Noelle’s trainee looked back at her.

“Well, I know of Meisho Doto here, seeing as she’s one of the best runners of her generation...”

“It’s, um- I’m not really... that great...” Doto fidgeted with her hands, clearly unused to the praise.

“And I met Joie de Vivre during lunch yesterday- though she did run off at quite an impressive speed when her other friend made an appearance.” Noelle gave me another gentle smile.

Now it was my turn to fidget, also not knowing how to deal with praise, since I didn’t especially feel like running out of a cafeteria in a panic was something praiseworthy.

“Huh.” The umamusume looked me in the eyes with a somewhat curious expression. “Nice to meet both of you! I’m Tojen Lily!” She gave me a quick curtsy. “You like this kind of fashion too, huh? Wanna shop together?”

For a moment, I warily scanned these two for hints that they were sizing me up- Depending on whether this girl was making her debut this year, she could be my rival, after all. But... despite my wary glare, these two regarded me with nothing but friendly, genuine smiles.

I considered for a moment that they might just be good at hiding it. That they were waiting for me to make a slip, and try to get something out of me-

But... I’d already snapped once at someone who didn’t deserve it today. I wasn’t going to last long at Tracen if I refused to make friends.

“That, um... that would actually help a lot. I have no idea what I’m doing.” I gave the two my best smile.

I heard Doto breathe a sigh of relief from behind me.

-----

I was right to recruit Tojen Lily to my cause, for it seemed that she was a consummate professional in the field of shopping for cute dresses made for Umamusume. Really, to say that I had been shopping with her would be a misnomer, because all Doto and I were doing was watching her sort through the shop’s entire inventory while rattling off a textbook’s worth of advice.

“... For someone with your measurements, I’d actually recommend avoiding dresses sold in a single piece like this,” Lily explained with a matter-of-fact confidence that reminded me of Opera, albeit in a far less overwrought manner. “Not only do they usually not make them for your size, they’re usually cheaply-made- the moment you actually try running in one, it’ll just come apart. Don’t ask me how I know! If you want something that’ll last, I’d recommend you try and make an ensemble out of different pieces like these.” She held in her hands a cute blouse and a black plaid skirt. “Actually, with your eyes and hair, maybe purple or blue would work better... Excuse me, do you have this in different colors?” She called out to the shopkeeper.

Tojen Lily spoke to me as though I was already her friend, despite having met me mere minutes ago. I was still more than a little wary of her, worried that she was going to give me bad advice on purpose or something to embarrass me, but... The advice she was giving me sounded a lot like Opera’s advice, which put me at ease since there was no universe in which Opera was going to give me bad fashion advice. It was at once disarming and way too suspicious to have someone just be immediately friendly to me like this.

“See! If you do this, you don’t have to buy a whole new outfit every season, and you can mix and match the colors as you like!” She cheerfully explained. “You were mostly looking at the gothic stuff, right?”

“Ah, well-” I stammered. “I, um... didn’t really think that much about fashion before coming to Tracen. I don’t really know what I want.” I gave her a half-truth.

“Oh, so you just want to look cute for the cameras? I getcha.” Lily gave me a quick wink that made me momentarily forget that, yes, I was going to have to go in front of cameras in the future. A panic attack for Future Joie- Present Joie was currently actually kind of having fun and would like to not have to worry about that right now.

“Well, maybe, I guess...” I mumbled out a response. “I kind of want to look cute for me, too, though.” 

Doto was, like me, mostly watching Tojen Lily do her thing. She held in her trembling hands a rather frilly black ensemble that Lily had picked out for her - something resembling a Maid dress, though it wasn’t quite one. She was blushing for a reason I wasn’t interested in discerning.

Lily’s trainer, on the other hand, took up a post near the door, content to watch her trainee socialize. I still glanced at her from time to time, unsure of her intentions. Part of me wanted to say that she was standing there to trap me in here.

That same part of me that wanted me to not trust Lily’s trainer also told me that I was stupid for thinking I’d look cute in anything- but luckily, Paranoid Joie’s voice was drowned out by the voice of the Joie who really, really wanted to try on all these clothes.

“Here,” Lily offered me the blouse and a dark blue plaid skirt. “Let’s start out with something on the simpler side before we try out anything else. Try these on and see if you like them!”

She may as well have just shoved me into the changing room herself, with all the earnestness and eagerness she was offering those clothes to me. I didn’t really have a choice but to shuffle inside the small store’s tiny changing room.

Despite that, though, I still hesitated. As I went to take off my top, a horrible thought occurred to me- what if she chose this moment to swipe the curtain open and humiliate me? What if that friendly face was a ploy? What if some horrible pervert had hidden a camera somewhere in the lights, or the mirror was one-way-

... I was spiraling again. 

It smelled like starched clothing and air freshener. Like coins changing hands. Like dust, left in the corners behind racks that the workers didn’t want to move.

Nobody was going to yank away the curtain to embarrass me. There wasn’t a hidden camera somewhere recording me. It was okay. It was just a normal changing room. People use them all the time. Nobody was going to judge me for using one as well.

I focused on the simple, mechanical actions of the task. Uniform comes off. Fold it nicely and put it aside. Make sure not to lose the wallet, even if you want to. Blouse goes on. Carefully, don’t catch your ears on the collar. One arm into one sleeve, other arm into the other sleeve. Button it up, one at a time. 

... The blouse fit me. I was worried that I’d close one of the buttons and it’d fly off or something and I’d have to pay for it, but it didn’t feel tight at all- something which not even my uniform had accomplished. It was just... snug. I was relieved that I wasn’t going to have to worry about stretching out every single piece of clothing I owned from now on.

Skirt goes on next. One leg at a time, pull it up over my waist, tuck the tail through the hole. It felt right. Good, I didn’t want it to chafe. Hopefully all the other skirts would fit as well. All I had to do was tighten the laces to make it snug and tie them in a bow. It was a little difficult doing this in the mirror, since my vision was obscured looking straight down.

Shoes go back on. Look in the mirror to...

... I was speechless.

I barely recognized myself. I’d already gotten used to being an Umamusume, but whenever I had a chance to look at myself, it was with wet and unstyled hair, whether it had been in the storage room or after last night’s shower. I’d gotten used to the idea that whenever people looked at me, they’d see an unkempt little creature glaring back at them, stuffed in a uniform she didn’t belong in and didn’t earn.

But the girl looking back at me in the mirror was gorgeous.

Sure, my hair could’ve used some work, but... Even just turning around to look at myself made my heart soar as the skirt flared out from the motion. I caught myself giggling as I just stared in the full-body mirror. This was me. Wearing a cute dress. I was prepared to look adequate. Instead, I was completely blown away.

I pulled open the curtain, and had to actively restrain myself from running over and giving Tojen Lily a big hug right then and there. Instead, I ran up to her with a beaming smile before she could even recognize that I was out of the changing booth. I was right up in her face when she turned around to look at me.

“I love it! Thank you thank you thank you!” I gushed, holding her free hand in both of mine and shaking it profusely. 

Lily was wide-eyed and blushing. “I, um- You’re welcome?”

“Oh, sorry-” I pulled back, suddenly acutely aware of how much I was probably overwhelming her.

“Excuse me,” Lily’s trainer spoke up. She approached with something in her hands- a small pair of dark blue ear-covers. “This is more Lily’s wheelhouse, but I figured some ear covers might be nice for you as well- they can help with noisy places like the cafeteria.

“Oh, um... I’ll try them on real quick, then.” I trotted back over to the mirror, carefully slipping each of the covers on. They didn’t really block out sound that much. It was more like wearing a hood. It felt just a little bit safer.

Turning around to give her my smile was all the answer they needed. “They look good!” Tojen Lily chirped, giving me a thumbs-up.

“I’m glad you like it!” The shopkeeper chimed in from behind Lily’s trainer. “Did you want those other skirts as well?”

I nodded eagerly. “Yes, of course!”

The shopkeeper nodded, my smile spreading to her face. “Will you be wearing that out today?”

“Yeah!” Considering how overjoyed just looking in the mirror made me, I couldn’t wait to see what Opera thought of me in this outfit. “Oh, and can I have a couple extra of these blouses?”

“Sure thing! Just one moment, please!” The shopkeeper quickly ducked into the back.

“Guess I knocked it out of the park, huh?” Lily smiled, looking mostly at her trainer as she spoke. “I was expecting to keep at this for a while, but I guess I got lucky on my first pick.”

“Lily usually doesn’t leave a store until she’s tried on their entire stock.” Trainer McCormick laughed. “It’s a good thing that you’re not as picky as she is!”

“Hey!” Lily pouted. “You’re not supposed to talk like that about your cute trainee!”

The two laughed. They clearly shared a friendly relationship- cordial, still trying to get to know one another, but comfortable. Almost like family, in a way.

It reminded me of how I was with Opera. I hoped I’d be able to find a trainer like that, myself.

My smile faded. Right. I was going to have to find a trainer. That was something I’d have to worry about...

“Over here, please!” The shopkeeper called out. Oh, right, payment!

I quickly grabbed my uniform from the stall, took out the wallet, and pulled out the bank card. I didn’t even care anymore about using his money- I was walking out of the door wearing this dress, and that made it entirely worth it...

Even if the price made me wince a bit. Well, hopefully I was paying for quality, and wouldn’t have to make another trip like this. I just put the card into the reader and-

And then I realized I didn’t remember the PIN. 

I froze up. I was so close, yet so far. I’d finally found a cute dress- no, proof that I could even look cute in a dress, and it seemed that fate was determined to snatch that away.

I tried to think of what he could’ve possibly made the PIN, but I had no idea. His birthday? Didn’t remember the date, just the events themselves. His mother’s birthday? No shot. Birthdays were terrible PINs anyway. I’d never use that as a PIN, all someone with my card would need to do is look up my birthday and they’d have my money.

Fine! Random series of numbers and hope it works! Four, one, three, six, one, two!

...

The atrocious little card-reading device in my hands did its job and spat out an error telling me that I’d put in the wrong PIN.

“Ah...” My voice wavered as I scrambled to make up an excuse. “I, um... I think I... must’ve somehow picked up someone else’s wallet... This, um... isn’t my card...” Trembling hands pulled the card out of the reader and put it back in the wallet.

Of course it would go like this. Of course reality would pull the rug out from under me at the last second. Why would I ever think I was allowed to have nice things?

“It’s fine.” I laughed sadly. “I’ll just... get changed and come back some other day-”

A hand suddenly grabbed my arm. I looked up to see... Doto?

“Um, is it okay if I pay for her?” Even while asserting herself, Doto struggled to find the confidence to just outright declare what she was doing. “If, um, that’s alright- I’d like to pay for, um, my clothes too...”

“Of course, Miss.” The shopkeeper smiled - a look of relief, probably happy that she wasn’t about to lose a big sale because of my incompetence. “Would you like some bags for your clothing?”

“Um,” I was a bit taken aback that Meisho Doto of all people was stepping in for me here. “This isn’t a small amount of money. Are you sure this is okay, Doto? I don’t know if I’ll be able to pay you back any time soon...”

“It’s okay,” Doto gave me a warm smile as she lowered her voice. “It’s just... I-I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen you that happy, so... I-I didn’t want you to, um... lose that. And, um, the money’s not really, a problem for me? So, um... N-not that I’m trying to brag- A-Ah, I don’t want to impose! I’m sorry, I’ll stop!”

“No, It’s fine!” I held up my hands. “What I meant to say was... thank you very much for helping me.”

Doto’s nervous smile slowly relaxed. I think that was the first time I’d seen a genuine smile from her, too.

=====

TM Opera O found herself in a dimly-lit labyrinth. Despite the brilliant light of the sun that followed her wheresoever she chose to tread, this place remained impenetrably tenebrous - A testament to the loneliness and isolation of the dark den upon which she was intruding. Indistinct shapes lurked in the corners, shadows danced in mockery of her brilliant light- Taunting her that she would never be able to pierce their depths. Her path through this place would forever be concealed.

Unfortunately for these demons, they faced the might of the Centurial Overlord! With but a single flowing motion, TM Opera O banished the darkness!

By flicking the light switch on.

It was a squalid and sparsely-furnished place, meant for a family but inhabited by only a single soul. Plain white light bounced off of plain white walls, only to collect in the unswept corners with so much dust and detritus. Empty take-out boxes cluttered the kitchen counter (the only surface in the entire main room), and the floor was covered in wrappers for meal-replacement bars and empty beer cans. The only thing of note in the room besides trash was a single chair and a small TV, leaning against the wall for want of a proper pedestal of its own.

This remarkably depressing demesne belonged to none other than her esteemed trainer. Or was it former trainer? Opera still wasn’t quite sure of the nomenclature. Its occupant clearly did not care to use it as a place to live, and rather much preferred their office at Tracen Academy - as evidenced by the relative cleanliness of the two halves of their domain. 

It was as though Joie had always resented this place, even when she was living in it.

But now moreso than ever, Joie de Vivre insisted that this place was not hers- In some ways, insisting that she had no place, no past whatsoever. She was entirely too eager to divorce herself from the role she had played during her time as Opera’s trainer. She went to such lengths as to refer to ‘that man’ as a separate person entirely- and what’s more, the vast majority of her adult memories had been scoured from her head, as though a raging fire had burnt through her. What few memories remained were those of the Centurial Overlord herself, who had now found herself a core part of this young woman’s identity.

The Centurial Overlord allowed herself a sigh here, in the place where none else could sense her ennui.

She wasn’t sure how to feel about any of this. She saw in Joie de Vivre all of the same qualities as Matsuo Katsuo - her wariness of others, her struggles with agoraphobia... But also that same sort of resilient determination and courage that had convinced TM Opera O that this was the trainer for her. She looked back at all of those moments in the past with a nostalgic, melancholy lens. A longing glance at the track, as though wracked by an ache to feel it under her own two feet. An overwhelming concern for an umamusume’s health, as though she thought the ability to run in and of itself was a precious gift... Hints as to her trainer’s true nature, in retrospect. That desire for competition, the willingness to pursue a dream with all her might- they were the qualities of the Umamusume within her.

But... there were new qualities as well, such as that mania that consumed her on the track. All umamusume possessed the desire to run, but the zeal with which Joie pursued it... Thinking of it welcomed troublesome thoughts into Opera’s mind. Thus, she elected to distract herself from those by tidying up the place. It was a task that would ordinarily be beneath her station, yes, but this home belonged to a dear friend of hers, and it pained her to see it in such disrepair.

Perhaps it would be easier to think of Joie de Vivre as an entirely new person, separate from who she used to be... but it wasn’t so simple a tie to sever as that. She had spent five years with that person. She had formed irreplaceable memories with him. He helped her through the most momentous struggles of her life, even if he refused to take credit for it. If Joie was a new person entirely, then Katsuo died in that fountain, and Joie took his place.

It twisted Opera’s stomach to think that she was responsible for Katsuo’s death. So, that’s not what happened. Instead, Opera’s impulsive recklessness led to Joie being granted her dearest wish. She had been Joie de Vivre from the start and had simply yet to realize that dream, and this bout of amnesia was... an unfortunate side-effect. It was much less upsetting to think of it that way.

And even still, there lingered in Opera’s heart an indescribable sense of loss. It was so incredibly strange to see someone she thought of as a teacher and an equal suddenly become her junior and student - to be forced into this position, to have to teach the selfsame lessons that Joie once taught her? It was a twisted irony.

TM Opera O tipped the dustpan into a waste bin, satisfied with her work. All that was left was to bring in the multitudinous packages that she had purchased for her friend.

Unfortunately, the truth of that day was hidden from the Overlord’s all-seeing eyes, and would likely remain obscured for all history to come. But that changed very little- her vow as Overlord was that she would see her trainer’s dream come true, and the Centurial Overlord did not make such a vow lightly - for her light would diminish and cease to rival the sun’s were she to renege on such a promise! 

Whether it was as her student, equal, or teacher, TM Opera O had forged a timeless bond with Joie de Vivre, and she would not be swayed from the Overlord’s path by such a paltry thing as doubt. 

And whenever Joie had slain whatever specter kept her away from this place, then she would be showered with gifts upon her return! A worthy welcome for the inheritor of the Overlord’s throne.

“Haaaa ha ha ha!” TM Opera O exclaimed out loud, making her declaration to the empty room. “Just you wait- Your owner shall one day return in triumph, victorious over her many troubles, and this humble abode shall be transformed into a palace worthy of her glory!” The gravitas of her statement was slightly undercut by the trashbag she held in her hand, but it was a declaration worth making nonetheless.

TM Opera O would not give up on Joie de Vivre - even if she wanted her to.

Notes:

Warm welcome for our second 'original' Umamusume, Tojen Lily. She is based on Tosen Lily! She also has some interesting relations that might come up later, but the thing that struck me the most about her pedigree was the fact that she is descended from the honorable Sir Gaylord. I have no choice but to stan.

Chapter 8: Chasing Wildfowl

Summary:

I don't think I'd want a peacock as a pet, actually. They're really loud and showy... What do you mean, that sounds like someone I know?

I went over my paperwork for the third time that day. Somehow, a simple application form had morphed into a four-centimeter-thick stack of paper through the simple act of “magically already having been accepted”, and it seemed the Student Council’s way of getting back at me for bypassing the proper channels was forcing me to do a month’s worth of paperwork at once.

Not all of it was for Tracen Academy, to be fair, and I knew on some level that they were helping me out by arranging some of this for me- A new bank account to put my money into through some complicated legal process that I didn’t care to understand, a transfer of a house deed from ‘Trainer M’ to myself... But there was still a good deal of Tracen-specific paperwork as well, such as which course I would be taking, and which electives.

“... Can you believe it? The guy said he wasn’t gonna accept my assignment for poetry and told me to ‘do it properly’. I dunno, guy, sounds to me like I’m way more creative than you, if I gotta fit a buncha words into an arbitrary pattern in order for it to count...”

Of course, reviewing my paperwork on a cluttered desk in a dimly-lit room while someone was complaining at me wasn’t really a recipe for success.

I turned in my desk chair to face Peaceful World, who was making a game of keeping a small ball (she informed me insistently that it was called a ‘hacky sack’) in the air with the back of her hands while she was lazing in bed. She wasn’t looking at me, naturally, but I hoped that somehow, my complete disinterest in whatever she was talking about would get across to her anyway.

“Hm. Maybe I could make a haiku outta color, and then translate it to words? Give ‘im both at the same time, prove my point. Ah, but then I gotta wonder if I’m using the syllables from the colors, or the meanings... Whaddyouthink?” Peace turned to look at me, finally, and then caught her hacky sack.

“I think maybe you shouldn’t expect everyone to adhere to your own made-up definitions.” I groaned. “Can’t you see I’m busy with paperwork?”

“You’ve been at that all day, girl. Give it a rest for a bit.” Peace tossed the hacky sack my way, and I caught it out of the air out of pure instinct- though I might’ve made my point better if I’d simply let it fly past me into one of the candy jars that was still on my desk. 

For a mercy, Friday evening had arrived without a note from Peace’s professor excusing her rampant misappropriation of our shared dorm-space. Fuji came in and tore down the whole thing since Peace didn’t hold up her end of the bargain- though I did notice Peaceful World quietly put a single clothesline up on her side of the room again once Fuji had left. I decided not to make a fuss about it, mostly because I didn’t want to make poor Fuji’s life even harder with some petty war with my roommate. The only major concession I’d gotten so far was for her to remove a bunch of the jars from my desk and give me room to work with (mostly because she judged that the rock candy inside them was ready).

“I’ve been at it all day because it needs to be done right.” I quietly hoped that one of the few things I kept from my experience as a trainer was the ability to affect a stern frown. “If I mess this up, not only will I get grief from the council about it, but I might screw up my entire career.”

“Well, starin’ at it for hours won’t help either.” Peace propped her pillow up against the wall behind her to serve as a backrest as she pulled herself into a sitting position. “Seriously. You even eat lunch?”

“Of course I did.” I said without thinking, before quietly realizing that was actually a lie and I had actually just made my stomach shut up with a meal-replacement bar before going back to work. I decided to quickly change the subject to avoid accidentally revealing this deception. “How about you? Considering it’s right after class, shouldn’t you be training instead of bothering me?”

“Sheesh. You sound like my trainer.” Her words sunk into my ribcage like a dagger, and I had to quietly tell myself that there was no possible way she’d know how much they hurt. “Besides. I am training. Or, I would be, if you’d give me my hacky-sack back.”

I purposefully rolled my eyes and lazily tossed the stupid thing back to her, which she bumped into the air with her wrist and caught with the ball of her foot. It was a display of coordination that I refused to internally categorize as impressive. “Playing with a ball is your training?” I pitched her a rhetorical question afterwards to see if she could keep up with that, too.

“Running requires a lotta coordination.” Peaceful World rolled the ball off of her foot and kicked it into the air with her other foot, and kept it in the air while she talked. “And running in a big race takes a lotta coordination while you concentrate on complicated stuff. So yeah, playin’ hacky-sack while bothering you is my training.” She shot a smirk at me as she turned my own words against me.

“And not slacking off. Got it.” I sighed.

“Technically I’m on break today, so I’m supposed to be takin’ it easy. But hey, I can take it easy and still get some practice in- oops.” Peaceful World finally fumbled the hacky-sack as she kicked it a bit too hard, and it landed near me. I couldn’t help but smile a little at her downfall. “Hmph. You think it’s so easy, give it a try, hot shot. The Overlord’s Heiress would find a kid’s game like this to be a cakewalk, yeah?” Peace’s expression was the same blase mask as ever, but a smug smile crept onto her lips.

Much to my chagrin, the appellation of ‘Overlord’s Heiress’ had indeed taken off within Tracen Academy thanks to Opera loudly announcing her patronage to the entire cafeteria- and the fact that she was one of the only people that I hung out with probably didn’t do anything to dispel the allegations, either. Even just wandering down the halls of the Academy was an exercise in fending off jealous glares, now. Peace, of course, was deliberately provoking me by using it- either because she could somehow read my mind and knew I hated the attention, or because she was trying to prod at what she thought was an overinflated ego.

“If it’ll make you shut up, sure.” I picked the hacky-sack up off of the floor, tossing it up and down in my hand a couple times lazily. “There. Are you happy?”

“Can’t use your hands.” Peace instructed. “Use the back of ‘em if you gotta, and keep it in the air as long as you can.”

I scoffed. Fine, I’d play by her rules, if only to prove her wrong - after all, if this bum could do it, then I ought to have no trouble whatsoever. “Oh, mine apologies, I am quite unused to this peasant’s game,” I shot back as I stood up, putting on an operatic persona to lean into the jab at my title and make it very clear that I wasn’t at all bothered by it. “Witness, then, as I make light work of this hackeyed-sack!”

I tossed the sack into the air, and as it fell back down towards my foot, I kicked up-

In a blur of motion faster than I was ready to perceive, the ball shot up into the ceiling, slammed back down onto my head in a ricochet shot, and scrunched up my right ear.

In very short order I found myself on the floor shouting and in pain, and Peaceful World was laughing her ass off.

“Oh, man, that was great. You okay, dude?” Peace said, getting off her butt in order to check on me. For a blessing, the only thing that was seriously wounded was my ego, and my ear was just a bit bruised instead of seriously hurt. 

“I’m fine, no thanks to you,” I spat back as I lifted myself back into my chair. I spared a glance at my paperwork and felt quietly thankful that I hadn’t somehow spilled one of the candy jars and ruined all of the progress I’d made.

“Hey, you did that to yourself.” Peace chuckled as she sat on the edge of her bed. “Seems you don’t know your own strength, huh?”

Don’t agree with her. Don’t let her know that you’ve had this body for less than a week. Don’t yield an inch more ground to her.

“Yeah, whatever.” I clicked my tongue in annoyance and rubbed my poor ear. “Can I go back to work now?”

“I guess, but I gotta wonder why they gave you so much to deal with.” Peaceful World turned a lazy gaze towards the stack of papers. She couldn’t read them from this angle, but I scooched my chair forward to block line-of-sight regardless to let her know that her snooping wasn’t welcome.

“I’m a special case,” I half-lied, “I want to make my debut this year and I got in through an exception, since the guy who was going to be my trainer ditched.”

“Huh.” Peaceful World gave me a puzzled look. “You, uh, sure you don’t wanna delay a year? Most gals I’ve met usually wait a bit ‘till they’re ready.”

“What, just because this year’s supposed to be yours?” I shot back. I didn’t even really know if she was going to debut this year or not, really, but it seemed that I’d hit the nail on the head from her reaction.

“Fightin’ words.” Peace raised her eyebrows, though she still gave me her usual unimpressed look with the rest of her face. “But nah. I don’t really care who I race against, so long as it’s good poetry.”

I seriously did not understand this girl sometimes.

“I’m just sayin’ that coming in like a hothead thinkin’ you’re going to take the world by storm is a great way to bounce off the ceiling.” Peaceful World looked me dead in the eyes. “I know you’ve got cool friends, and I’m glad for you, but thinkin’ that you’re gonna be the same as them might set you up for disappointment. Get a good idea of where you’re at before you make any rash decisions, yeah?”

“I thought you’re the one who told me to mind my own business.” I scowled. I wasn’t going to let her push me around just because I was her competition.

Peace broke eye contact for a moment, and then sniffed and shrugged lazily. “Eh. Bad at following my own advice.” She tossed her hacky sack back into the air and caught it with her ankle.

A moment of silence passed between us, and I took that as the cue that the conversation was over and I could turn around and get back to work...

Which meant deciding if I wanted to look stupid because I voluntarily put myself in a classroom full of children and high-school drop-outs, or if I wanted to look stupid because I put myself in a college-level class and couldn’t remember the foundational material the class would be based on-

“Hey Joie,” Peaceful World spoke up, clearly not done bothering me yet. “You homeschooled?”

I wheeled around again to snap at her, though I was caught off-guard by her question. Yeah, homeschooling would be a pretty convenient excuse for my situation, wouldn’t it? I still didn’t want to give her any information she could use to mess with me, though, so instead I responded with, “Why do you ask?”

“I was too.” Peace kicked the ball up and bounced it off of her forehead, before it fell in her lap. “Wasn’t sure what course to sign up for either, but I found a quiz at the library that helped me figure out what I was workin’ with.”

My eyes darted back and forth suspiciously. “Were you looking at my paperwork?”

Peaceful World shrugged.

I wanted to be angry, but... she did make a good point. Staring at the paper wasn’t really helping me make a decision- and if nothing else, the library would be an easier place to go over this stuff than my room.

“I’ll take the hint and get out of your hair, then.” I sniped. I pulled my private drawer open, pulled out my folder, and stuffed the paperwork into it. “See you later.”

“Good luck.” Peace waved lazily as I left our room.

-----

Coming to the library felt like a mistake. I didn’t enjoy the solo trek from my room to the library, and I definitely didn’t enjoy the sidelong glances at me as I hurried over clutching my folder. Maybe I should’ve gotten a second folder by now or something? Or a bag. A bag would’ve been useful. I hadn’t thought of it when I was out shopping with Doto, and I didn’t want to impose on her further, especially after she went out of her way to get me a bunch of skin and hair-care products. 

So instead, I guarded my single, precious folder that contained everything with my life. I walked as quickly as I could while remaining cautious, and I didn’t let anyone get close to me on the off chance they might bump into me and send everything flying.

Everything, I realized, including that stupid doujin that I still hadn’t found the author of again. Someone else seeing that might actually just kill me.

And so now I stood in the middle of the library, still clutching that single folder in my arms, having no idea where to start looking. There were a few students studying quietly, and a few trainers... I didn’t want to bother them, so I started poking around a few of the shelves myself.

I didn’t really know what I was doing. I felt silly for even being here. Why did I think this would be anything other than a wild goose chase? Poking through the encyclopedia section for a quiz that told me how much of an idiot I was. As though I needed a quiz to tell me that. I might as well just sign myself up for the junior division and accept my place as a dunce-

“Excuse me-”

My very unladylike and not-quiet-enough-for-a-library yelp bounced off of the shelves as I reacted to a quiet voice from behind me. I swiveled around to look up at the source of my misery and saw- ears?

Oh. She was shorter than me. That didn’t happen very often anymore.

“I-I’m sorry if I startled you,” The umamusume in front of me raised her hands apologetically. “Um... I just wanted to ask... did you need help finding something?”

She was a small girl with a young-sounding voice, wearing a large pair of heavy-rimmed eyeglasses. Her hair was a cool gray, with an intricate braid across her forehead and another resting on her shoulder. She wore an accessory that looked like a small bundle of flowers around her right ear, along with some other small bow accessories. She wore the same uniform as all the other students, and her eyes glittered blue like lakewater as she patiently awaited my response.

“O-Oh! Sorry, I should introduce myself-” I must’ve been glaring as I examined her, from her apologetic expression. “I’m Zenno Rob Roy. I’m part of the library committee, so if you need help finding something, I-I can help you.”

I took in the smell of books as I calmed myself down with a deep breath. “I’m, um... Joie de Vivre. It’s nice to meet you, Zenno Rob Roy.”

Zenno Rob Roy smiled gently as the tension eased, and I allowed myself to relax just a little bit. “I’m, um...” There was no way to phrase this without making myself vulnerable, so I just had to rip the bandaid off. “My, um... I’m new, and I was homeschooled, so... I don’t really know whether or not I ought to qualify for the senior course. My roommate said that she found a quiz or something in the library that might help me.”

Zenno Rob Roy put her hand on her chin as she searched the floor for her thoughts. “Hm... I don’t know if we stock quizzes or anything like that...”

That damn Peaceful World! She probably kicked me out of our room so she could get up to trouble or something. I could see her now, laughing away at how she tricked me so she could turn my bedsheets tie-dye or something...

“But, um, that sounds like a difficult situation...” The gray-haired umamusume looked up at me with sympathetic eyes. “Why would your parents do something like that...?”

I seized up. I hadn’t thought of that part of the story.

“Oh, er- that was thoughtless of me to say. I’m sorry.” Rob Roy apologized again, bowing slightly.

“It’s alright,” I smiled nervously, waving off the apology that I didn’t deserve. “I’m, um... used to the weird looks when I tell people that.”

“Did your parents work with the local school to make sure the curriculum was enough? And when did they stop?”

Erk. More difficult questions that I hadn’t thought of. “Um, that’s the thing. I... really don’t know. That’s why I’m looking for something to help. I don’t really know what would qualify as high school curriculum, so...”

Rob Roy put her hand on her chin again, deep in thought. “Hm... I think I might have an idea, actually.” Her eyes lit up. “I’m going to need a little help from my trainer, so sit tight and I’ll be right back!”

Zenno Rob Roy walked off as quickly as she dared, seeing as running wasn’t allowed within the library, and disappeared through the library’s doors into the main lobby. Excellent. She’d left. This was my opportunity to escape to my room and tell off Peaceful World, and probably catch her dumping a bunch of scented oils into my sock drawer or something. Which was definitely something she’d do, and not something I made up as an excuse to dislike her.

Indeed, a perfect opportunity to leave- which is why I was sitting. For some reason. And waiting patiently?

Damn it.

That girl was just too sweet. I couldn’t ditch her now. I already felt bad for entangling her in my web of lies, but it wasn’t like I could just tell her the truth! Here I was, a perfect stranger, and she was going out of her way to help me. Maybe she felt bad because she thought I’d been ill-served by my parents? That certainly fit with the narrative I was going with... Or maybe she wanted to get on my good side because of the rumors around me. Or maybe she was a rival and this was a setup- no, I couldn’t find an ounce of malice in her. She seemed so earnest. But that’s how they get you!

And so this mental battle raged on, as I sat at a lonely library table fussing with my hair and keeping an eye on the door. Occasionally, someone would wander past and I’d instinctively clamp my hands down on the folder in front of me, but nobody really gave me so much as a passing glance as I sat there.

Just how long was she asking me to wait...?

My eyes couldn’t stay locked on the doors for much longer. I started idly looking around, at the clock, at the walls, at the various books on the shelves near me... It seemed I was somewhere in the natural sciences section. There were books about geology, physics, biology... Someone had written an entire book about peacocks. How much could there possibly be there to know about a single bird?

Eyes drifted over entire shelves as they became collages of color rather than distinct entities. Maybe if I wouldn’t get in trouble, it’d be fun to rearrange all of the books so that their spines made a mosaic of some sort.

I glanced over at the clock again. Twenty minutes. This was a pretty lengthy amount of time for someone who said she’d be right back. I started to wonder again if I was being pranked or something.

 

...

 

Yep. The ceiling sure was 30 ceiling tiles long. I couldn’t get the width of the room from here, since the tiles blended together again near the other side of the library, and the bookshelves blocked my line of sight anyway.

 

...

 

Maybe reading that peacock book wasn’t such a bad idea.

I quickly stood up to grab it and absconded back to my seat with it before anyone could take a peek in my folder. Just in case Rob Roy had gotten back, I glanced at the doorway again. 

There was a familiar silhouette... Vivid orange hair, a crown tilted to one side- Opera? What was she doing here?!

About the same time that I recognized her, it seemed that she spotted me as well, and started beelining over to where I was seated. She opened her mouth to speak, making me fear for a moment that she was about to start up her usual manner of speech in the middle of the library, but after a moment’s hesitation, she started speaking quietly in a way that still felt like she was being loud. “Ah, my companion! You surround yourself with knowledge once again this day, I see! How fares your quest?”

“Not that great, um- What are you doing here?” In all the time I’d known her, I’d never seen Opera enter the library. In fact, I was convinced that she had a lifetime ban or something- the only thing she would even possibly be interested in would probably be the fiction section, but even then, most of her plays were ones that she wrote (and starred in) herself...

“Why, I was in search of you!” Opera O quietly announced, as she hooked a chair out from under the table with her foot, dragged it under her, and threw herself into it in a lounging position all in a single motion. “I had thought to find you in your quarters, but instead there I found your bunkmate, who helpfully pointed me here!”

“She wasn’t doing anything weird, was she?” I knitted my eyebrows, not sure whether to hope my wild imaginings of her misdeeds were true or not. “I’m pretty sure she sent me here on a wild goose chase.”

“A library is a rather strange place to search for geese, though it seems you have availed yourself of a tome on fowl regardless- though I regret to inform you that though their plumage may indeed be resplendent, they are not the bird you are searching for!” Opera O laughed (quietly). 

“All that aside- I am here to inform you of my most momentous undertaking yet!” Opera O sat upright in her chair, and produced a stack of papers from seemingly nowhere. “I have taken... the Tracen Academy Trainer Exam!”

Wait, Opera was going to be my trainer?!

“W-wait, you can do that?!” I had to struggle to keep my voice low and contain my shock.

“Your feat has inspired me, Joie de Vivre! If a trainer can become an umamusume, who is to say that an umamusume cannot become a trainer?” Opera flicked her hair with a sparkling flourish.

I took a glance at the paper- and on the front of it was stamped in red ink, the word ‘FAIL’.

“The URA, apparently.” I remarked, deflated by this show of theatrics for what amounted to absolutely nothing.

“Alas, it seems their authority supersedes even that of the Centurial Overlord...” Opera leaned back in her chair as the stack of papers flopped onto the desk. I idly glanced at the front page of the exam... And all of her answers were written extremely small, seemingly cramped into the answer space. Most of these were simple questions requiring numerical answers or short explanations, yet it seemed she’d written long diatribes under each question- most of them only tangentially related to the actual topic. I wouldn’t have been surprised if whatever poor URA official who had this thing cross his desk gave up grading it halfway through the third page.

“But!” Opera pointed at me. “This only proves your incredible fortitude and wits, my friend! If this mountain bested even myself, then you may stand proud and tall as one who has conquered it before me!”

“If only I remembered it.” I complained. I flipped through the test some more, and a lot of these were complicated questions about kinesiology, physiology, and nutritional science. While I vaguely recognized a lot of these questions and could probably figure out some of them if I put my mind to it, a lot of them I didn’t know where to start- which, at least, helpfully confirmed that pretty much all of my knowledge about being a trainer had evaporated.

“Ah, but I don’t doubt that if you applied yourself, you could relearn all of those things you have forgotten, for you learned them once before, did you not?” Opera O smiled. “What you have lost is not gone forever- it can be found again, with persistence and assistance.”

“Well, maybe I’m okay with it being gone.” I flopped the test closed and passed it back to Opera. “I didn’t become an Umamusume just to meekly go back to training.”

Opera opened her mouth to say something, but hesitated and closed it again, thinking better of herself.

An awkward silence came between us, but that brief dimming of the Overlord’s light was never to last. “Ah, but I did not come just to tell you that. There was one last gift I had purchased for you at the start of the week, and only today has it entered my care- such that I may pass it on to you. Please Joie de Vivre- accept this not as a gift lavished upon a trainee or understudy, but as an expression of gratitude for the time we have spent together and a symbol of my hope for your future.”

Opera produced a jewelry case that barely fit in her palm, and presented it to me in a manner that could easily be confused for a proposal. Not wanting any onlookers to get the wrong idea, I quickly accepted the box and opened it.

Inside was an ear-ring, made of gleaming gold. Even under the humble fluorescent lighting of the Tracen Academy Library, it was resplendent- a thin velvet cushion lined the inside, colored a deep purple, and a tasteful patterned deep-blue ribbon broke up the solid gold. Attached to the ring through a small chain was a gold-plated sun made from bent wire, curling around and in on itself even as its radiance shone outwards.

It was perfect.

“I... I don’t know what to say,” I sat, dumbstruck. I was half-expecting another cravat or jacket, but this was an incredibly thoughtful gift. There was no way this wasn’t custom-made. “Where did you even- how did you get this in such a... Actually, never mind. I love it.” I met Opera’s gaze with mine, and smiled widely.

She returned my smile with her own- warm and gentle, like the sun on a midsummer morning.

I carefully slipped it onto my left ear. It fit perfectly, as though it was made for me- in all likelihood, it was, so that made perfect sense. As to why I put it on the left- it simply felt natural.

I let the tiny sun, the reminder of my vow, hang at the side of my head. Opera really had outdone herself- I could think of no better symbol to wear as a representation of what I wanted to embody.

“Sorry to keep you waiting!” A tiny voice came from behind TM Opera O, and I leaned over to see Zenno Rob Roy, holding a small deck of notecards in her hand. Behind her, there was a wheezing and out-of-breath man with short black hair and a suit- her trainer, in all likelihood.

Opera’s presence had nearly made me forget all about why I was even waiting here in the first place.

“W-Wait, you actually came back?” I spoke my thoughts aloud.

“Of course I did!” Zenno Rob Roy replied, actually looking a little hurt that I’d expected her to ditch me here. “I, um- I wanted to ask my trainer for help making a quick quiz for you to take, but...”

“Putting something like that together on such short notice isn’t something I can do on the spot!” Her trainer protested. “Really, you’re asking me to make a final exam for every subject at once...” The man sighed, though he wore a smile as he did so. Perhaps he was also touched by Zenno Rob Roy’s earnestness, and went out of his way to help her- and by extension, help me.

I suddenly felt really bad for doubting her at all.

“It’s not perfect, but it’s the best I could do without sending her back here empty handed, so...” The man scratched the back of his head, laughing nervously. I glanced at the clipboard he was carrying in his hands, but couldn’t see the contents. “It’s nice to meet you, Joie de Vivre- oh, and you as well, TM Opera O!”

Only just now did both of them realize who I was sitting with, and she laughed heartily (forgetting she was in a library in the process). “Already, your radiance outshines even mine, Joie de Vivre! And you still doubt whether or not you are the brightest star of your generation?”

Something seemed to click inside the Trainer’s head, though Zenno Rob Roy spoke up before he did. “W-Wow! I-I, um, I love your plays, TM Opera O! I try to make time in my schedule for each one you put on. They’re always so enthralling, and your singing voice is beautiful!” Rob Roy clasped her hands together, her eyes twinkling. “Your rendition of the Scottish Play... it was so beautiful! Especially considering all of the struggles you went through to make it happen...”

Ah, yes. That one time Opera tried to put on Shakespeare’s Macbeth. Entirely from memory, of course, since Opera didn’t bother using the actual script. For whatever reason, that particular production of hers was plagued with mishaps. Doto blamed herself for each one- Opera’s costume accidentally being ripped in half, the set being splashed with red paint... She even briefly abandoned the production, fearing that it was her fault, and Opera ran after her to comfort her. Then, the moment we got back we’d discovered that an electrical fault had started a fire on the set...

“Haaa ha ha ha! A little bad luck would never stop the Overlord from sharing the beauty of the Bard’s work with her subjects!” Opera neglected to mention the part where Doto insisted we let Matikanefukukitaru perform an exorcism of the stage after that, after which Opera was thoroughly scolded for mentioning ‘The Scottish Play’ by name. I figured Fuku was a superstitious crank and it was just a series of coincidences, but after my recent experiences I suddenly found myself more open-minded...

“Have you ever considered writing a play about-” Zenno Rob Roy stopped as her trainer cleared her throat. “Oh! Um... A-a subject for another time, right...”

“I tried to come up with something relatively quick but accurate to try and gauge your level of education.” The trainer held up a clipboard. “Rob Roy has fifty or so cards with questions on them, and if you can answer correctly within thirty seconds, I’ll mark it as correct. I’ll mark time-outs and wrong answers differently.”

“Trainer said that they should be fairly easy for you if your education was high-school equivalent, so if you get most of them right, you should be fine to sign up for the senior program.” Zenno Rob Roy smiled.

“Really, what I find surprising is that this should’ve been part of the entrance exam...” Rob Roy’s trainer scratched his head. “Didn’t you have to take a test, Rob Roy?”

Erk. “Um, well-” I fumbled to find a way to explain this, but Opera spoke first.

“Oh, if only that were the case!” Opera held her hand up over her forehead, reclining backwards in a display of sorrow. “Perhaps ‘tis not my tale to tell, but my trainer and I met poor Joie de Vivre here in a chance encounter upon the street, and he was struck by her running- but alas, her story was one of woe! Negligent parents who so often left her to fend for herself, fallen through the cracks of the system... So frightened was she by our mere gazes that she trembled with the strain of speaking but a single word to us! We sought to draw out her light in secret, away from the prying eyes of the public...”

“But on the day she was to be accepted into the academy, my trainer had been struck by madness! I know not why, but he, too, abandoned her in her hour of need, and thus her induction into the academy was plagued with a thousand trials...” Opera concluded her tale. She sure was good at lying, so long as she wasn’t the one coming up with the lie... But still, this was an embarrassing story, and I felt horrible lying to these two like this. Well, I wasn’t the one doing the lying, but I was still letting Opera do it for me. I was eliciting sympathy I didn’t deserve.

Even with my face covered so they couldn’t see my humiliation, what little I saw of Rob Roy and her Trainer’s faces hurt to see. “Oh, so you’ve fought this hard just to get this far...” Zenno Rob Roy held up her hands to her mouth, moved almost to tears.

“Did you really need to tell them all of that...?” I groaned into my hands. “I don’t want everyone knowing about my sob story...”

“Ah-” Opera faltered. “Well, Trainer-kun here wished for an explanation, and I provided...”

“No, no, I shouldn’t have pried,” Rob Roy’s trainer raised his hands in an apologetic manner. “My sincerest apologies, Joie. You’ve struggled enough just to get here, so I can see why my question would be rude.”

I couldn’t tell if the burning feeling in my heart was shame for having to feed them this narrative, or indignant anger at being so openly pitied. I wasn’t some abandoned kitten left in the rain.

“That’s enough apologies.” I insisted, expelling my complicated emotions with a deep breath. “Could we please proceed with the quiz?”

“R-right!” Zenno Rob Roy held up her stack of cards. “Trainer, are you ready?”

Rob Roy’s trainer nodded, holding up a stopwatch. “On my mark.”

What followed was a rapidfire series of fairly easy questions- things like the name of Japan’s great unifier, the locations of a few major cities, asking me to pick out the correct kanji from a choice of three, or asking me to solve a division problem in my head. Most of them, I could answer without thinking, but the moment I stopped to wonder where I had learned something, I found myself without an answer. Most of my time-outs were because I’d hesitated, trying to think back to some imaginary classroom where I ought to have learned this knowledge, and then failing to find an answer before time was up. The subject that I struggled with the most were those that related to umamusume and racing- which naturally was the most important subject, considering where I was. To my great shame, I had even stalled out on answering what measurement a length referred to.

“Well, most of your knowledge is perfectly fine...” Rob Roy’s trainer tapped his pen against his lower lip. “But you didn’t answer any of the questions about racing. Did your parents not teach you... Ah, I’m prying again. Apologies.”

I sighed deeply. “No, I ought to get used to it...” I replied morosely. “I suppose that means I ought to sign up for the junior course...”

“Not at all, actually.” The trainer smiled. “I’m sure you’d excel in the senior course, you just have some catching up to do. Maybe you can arrange something with your trainer?”

My reply was a silent grimace.

“Oh, right.” His face fell. “My apologies again. I’d offer, but... I’m still rather new to this, and I’d rather focus on the trainee I already have. Her debut is this year, so...”

My grimace morphed into a scowl. I couldn’t imagine myself being a trainee to someone who treated me with kid gloves like this guy.

“Perhaps you could ask the student council for help with remedial classes?” Rob Roy gently offered. “I’m sure they’d be willing to help.”

Considering just last night I'd had a nightmare about being trapped in Yama’s court again, I wasn’t exactly eager to entreat the student council for much of anything... But I’d agree if it meant we could stop talking about how much my knowledge was lacking. “That sounds like a good idea. I’ll mark it down for now and see if I can ask them about it later.” I opened my folder to do exactly that-

And it seemed that I had entirely forgotten that my folder also contained that Doujin of Opera and Doto. For a mercy, the page that was in front was one of the less incriminating ones (which I’d done specifically in case of a situation like this) but I nonetheless immediately slammed the folder shut.

It was too late. From the look on their faces, all three of the other people at this table had already seen it. 

“I- Ah- I- Um, it’s um, that’s not mine,” I stammered desperately. “I, uh, bumped into someone, in the hallway, and she... dropped it, and I still haven’t...”

“Haaa ha ha ha!” Opera reached over, and I was too shocked to stop her from pulling out the page that she’d seen. “I hadn’t known you for an artistic soul! This is quite the fine rendition of Doto and myself, if I may say so- The rose petals and gentle, parted lips... What passion! How your affection for us, your understanding of our affection for one another.. All is laid bare! I’m deeply moved, Joie!”

I dreaded to think of what her reaction would have been if she had actually seen one of the pages where all was actually laid bare.

“Ah, I- Er, actually,” Zenno Rob Roy stammered, her face bright red. “I, um... I think I know who that might belong to...”

Y’know what? At this point, I was willing to take any possible way out of this I could. “Oh, thank the goddesses. About my height, pink hair, large red bow?” 

Rob Roy nodded. “That certainly sounds like Agnes Digital, and I’m pretty sure that artwork is hers...”

Opera’s face suddenly gained a strange tinge of disgust that I’d never seen before. “... Ah. That certainly explains the... colorful dialogue...” She cleared her throat and quickly placed the piece of paper in front of me, suddenly wanting nothing to do with it. I then took the rest of its kind back out of the folder, placed the loose page back on top, and shoved the whole thing over towards Rob Roy, seeing as I wanted nothing to do with it, either.

“I’ll, um... make sure this gets back to her...” Rob Roy mumbled out, still a bit shell-shocked. “She’d mentioned losing her manuscript the other day after class, but she was more excited about a new project she was working on...

Some twisted curiosity compelled me to ask what her new project was about. I quickly smothered that question before it could escape my mouth. I did not need to know.

Meanwhile, I couldn’t tell if Rob Roy’s trainer was struggling to contain a laugh, or just avoiding acknowledging this situation altogether. Maybe both.

“Well...” I tried to at least end this fiasco on an amicable note. “Thank you so much for your help, you two. I really mean it.”

“Of course.” Rob Roy smiled. “If you ever want a book recommendation, feel free to come by the library and ask! I’m usually here whenever I’m not training.”

Much as I wasn’t exactly the most social girl around, staying cooped up in my room all day probably wasn’t the best use of my time... And I had to repay Zenno Rob Roy for her kindness somehow as well. Despite the lies, despite my suspicion of her, she had gone out of her way to help me. “I’ll take you up on that sometime, I think. Maybe afterwards we could talk about it over some snacks?”

“That sounds nice!” Rob Roy’s eyes lit up. “I always like hearing about people’s reactions to my favorite books. Oh, if you want to start reading tonight, Maybe you’d like a book about the Highland Rogue? The main character’s a historical figure, and it’s my favorite book...”

As Zenno Rob Roy launched into her excited recommendation, I caught Opera’s expression from the corner of my eye- a contented, genuine smile.

Notes:

Someone was asking for a detailed description of what Joie looks like, so how about I do one better and post my lil' doodle of her, now that her look is complete?

(Although I realize now that I forgot the ribbon that's supposed to be on the ear cuff. Oops)

Update: Check the comments for the wonderful fanart done by guest commenter 'horsefem enjoyer'. Your Overlord commands it

Chapter 9: Frustration/Elation

Summary:

I'm improving. But I'm not improving fast enough.

It felt so good to run.

Everything felt so much more whenever I was on the track. When my blood was pumping, my heart thundering in my ears as the wind whipped by me, I felt so much more alive than I ever thought I could. The clouds became paintings in the sky, the world around me brimmed with life even in the dead of winter.

“And time!”

Which is why it pained me so much whenever I had to stop like this. The world’s colors dimmed as I slowly pulled myself back to reality, and wheeled around to approach Opera as she stood by the side of the track.

“That’s a minute and forty-eight seconds, Joie!” Opera O beamed. “Faster than last week’s run by half a second! That’s an improvement!” 

“It’s not fast enough.” I grimaced as I bent down to swipe a sports drink from the ground where I’d left it. “The last year’s Hanshin JF was completed in a minute-thirty-five. I need to take at least thirteen seconds off of my 1600-meter run if I want to win it, and that’s not counting for the different shape of the track, the other runners, and-”

“I admire your ambition, but I think it wise to temper it with patience...” TM Opera O interrupted me to tut her finger at me. I took the chance to chug the bottle while she was talking. “You have an entire year’s worth of training ahead of you. You do not have to reach that time today!”

“An entire year minus one month,” I corrected, “And however much I have to make up for due to my late start. You don’t get it, Opera- I have to work harder than everyone else just to be on the same footing, here.”

I immediately regretted snapping at her like that, but the deed was already done. I knew better than anyone just how much Opera had struggled on the path of the Overlord.

“... I shall excuse that as a byproduct of stress and adrenaline, and not something you truly meant to say.” Opera’s mask slipped just a little bit as she fought within herself to excuse my thoughtless words. “I understand your frustration, Joie. I truly do. However... trying to walk over the hill ahead of you instead of the stones under your feet will only hurt you.”

We’d been struggling like this for a month now. Cute heart decorations infested the academy’s various bulletin boards like an invasive species as Valentine’s Day drew closer. I would get in training with Opera and Doto whenever their schedules would allow it, but the vast majority of what I’d been doing was solo training. I still didn’t have a trainer, and I definitely wasn’t going to ask Peaceful World for partner training... Zenno Rob Roy was someone I’d considered a few times, but I didn’t want to impose on her schedule. That, and I didn’t like the look of pity her trainer kept giving me.

“Have you signed up for tryouts yet?” Opera prodded. “Surely, a single glimpse of your brilliance would be enough to-”

“Not yet.” I interrupted. “I’m... not good enough yet. Everyone already knows me as your heiress, but- if I ran even a mock race and came dead last, what would I do? I’d be a laughing stock. You’d be a laughing stock.”

It was so frustrating. I wanted to move faster, I wanted the world to turn into a smear as I carved my name onto the track, I wanted to be like her- but I wasn’t. My limbs just weren’t fast enough. I wasn’t strong enough. I pushed myself at the gym and came back with exhaustion instead of results. Every moment spent relaxing at the library or in my room was another moment I could be using to push my limits further. Even if I knew on an intellectual level that I wouldn’t make any progress without rest, that constantly working my body would just break it... Every wasted moment was time I couldn’t get back. It felt like I had so little of it.

Opera was struggling to figure out what to say to me- I could tell, because she wasn’t saying anything at all and just running her fingers through her hair.

She wasn’t a trainer. She didn’t have the authority to put her foot down and tell me what to do or what not to do- and she didn’t have the knowledge of one, either. She had five years’ experience, and she could emulate her own trainer - myself - but during our practice sessions, it became increasingly clear that she didn’t know how to help me, and it frustrated her.

It didn’t help that I was being difficult.

“I’m sorry, Opera.” I sighed. “I shouldn’t take my frustration out on you, I just- I don’t want to be a disappointment.”

“You could never disappoint me.” Opera stated plainly. “We have already done the impossible together. Even should you retire today, you will always be dear to me.”

Was that me she was talking to, or the man I used to be...? I couldn’t tell.

Thankfully, we didn’t have to figure out how to continue the conversation ourselves. “I’m baaaack!” I heard a voice I immediately recognized as Doto’s as she ran towards us carrying a pair of bottles in her hands. Like clockwork, the moment she got close she tripped over my bag, and the bottles she was carrying were launched into the air. Opera and I snatched them out of the air, opened them, and took a sip in perfect sync.

“Perfect timing, Doto!” Opera immediately went back into character. “This is thirsty work out here!”

“I’m the one doing the running.” I complained as Opera walked over to help Doto up. My ears perked up, though, when I saw two more people approaching us. “Wait, there’s someone else out here...?” I’d made sure to pick a time when nobody else would be using the track. I still couldn’t bear to have people watching me flounder about like this.

“Um, well-” Doto stammered as she stood up. “Well, um, I ran into them when my arm got stuck in the vending machine, and, um... I... asked them if they could help us with training?”

The first part, I could believe. Doto ordering us drinks from a vending machine, the drink getting stuck, and Doto getting stuck trying to fish out the drink was only the logical conclusion to the question of ‘what happens when we send Doto to get us drinks.’ The part where Doto actually asked someone for help, though...? I turned to look at the two who were following Doto and...

It was Tojen Lily and her trainer?

“We meet again!” Trainer McCormick waved at me with a smile, with Tojen Lily waving at me excitedly from behind her.

“I-I know you usually do solo training, Joie, but when I ran into them again I thought, maybe a trainer could help you better than I could... I’m sorry, um, if you didn’t want me to...” Doto’s stammering explanation faltered.

“It’s not a big deal for us.” Trainer McCormick smiled. “We were headed to one of the tracks anyway, but this one’s just as good as any other, right?”

Tojen Lily, meanwhile, was looking at my bag. It was a simple black purse adorned with white ribbons and lace. I’d picked it because I hoped it’d look good with whatever I wore.  “Ooh, cute bag! Where’d you get it?”

“Oh, um-” I stammered. “I just went back to that same store a couple weeks ago after I got my new bank card.”

“We should go shopping again sometime!” Lily smiled. “I found this new store down in-”

“Lily...” her trainer gently but sternly reminded.

“Oh. Right.” Lily laughed apologetically as she scratched the back of her head. “So, um... Is it okay if we practice with you?”

I glanced over at Opera. I certainly wasn’t making progress on my own... And I already knew these two well enough that I didn’t feel horribly uncomfortable showing them just how mediocre I was- just moderately uncomfortable.

“... Okay.” I relented. “I just did a run, though, so I’m taking a break.”

“Alright.” Trainer McCormick nodded. “Lily, could you do your warmups while I chat with Joie?”

“Sure thing!” Lily chirped. She started doing some simple squats and her trainer approached.

“Take a seat, Joie. Is it alright if I take a look at your legs?”

“Um...” I blushed. I knew, vaguely, that this was a fairly normal thing to do, but it still felt weird letting a relative stranger do it...

“If you’re uncomfortable with it, that’s fine,” Trainer McCormick backed off. “I just figured I should get an idea of where you’re at.”

“... Fine,” I pouted as I pulled up one of the pant-legs of my track suit and sat down on one of the bleacher benches. The cold February air sent a chill up my spine, especially with how sweaty I already was. “Just don’t make any sudden moves or I might kick you in the face.”

“Lily’s already done that to me once, don’t worry.” Trainer McCormick laughed.

“Once! You surprised me!” I heard Lily yell.

“More like you were too focused on browsing your phone to hear me ask...” The woman mumbled, prodding at my legs. “Hm. You could use some more focus on your calves... You said you want to debut this year?”

I nodded, and Noelle pressed her lips together. “You’d be better served holding off a year. I don’t think you’re ready yet- and if I’m not mistaken, you still don’t have a trainer?”

Not this again. My heart burned again with anger and bile rose in my throat. “Let me guess, because Lily’s debut is this year?” I kicked her hands off of me- not violently, but with enough force to get her to let go.

Noelle returned my scowl with one of her own, especially considering how rough I was being with her. “That has nothing to do with it. You’re not ready yet. If you force yourself to race this year, you’re going to get hurt.”

“I have to!”

Noelle stumbled back as I shouted without meaning to. Words continued pouring out of my mouth as I struggled to contain tears of frustration and anguish.

“I don’t have enough time. It’s a miracle I’m here at all. I have to race now, or...”

I trailed off. Everyone was looking at me now.

I didn’t know why I said that.

“I-I’m sorry...” I stood up suddenly. I was screwing it up. I was making a scene in front of everyone. The sky darkened and the shadows grew long. “I- I should...”

Before I knew it, I was running off again.

I didn’t make it far this time. I was already tired and sweaty from pushing myself on the track, and my feet were weighed down with regret. I just ran behind the bleachers to break line of sight. Why did I say that? Why was I so adamant about this? Was it pride? Was I even allowed to be prideful? Did I just want to prove Air Groove and Peaceful World wrong that badly? It felt like I’d be admitting defeat if I backed down, but... hearing those words from a trainer really made what I already knew hit home so much harder.

Footsteps behind me. Probably Opera or Doto, come to console me again. “Sorry.” I mumbled out. “I’ll come back.”

“It’s fine.” It was neither of them- it was Trainer McCormick? “Can we talk here?”

“I-” I choked on my words. I wanted to run away again, but I forced myself to stay this time. “What’s there to talk about? I’m just... mediocre. I’m the Overlord’s Heiress, and I have to delay my debut... It’s pathetic. I’m just running away because I know I’ll lose-”

“Joie.” Noelle firmly said, gently putting her hand on my shoulder to hold me steady. “An old friend of mine taught me something for when he needed to calm down, and I’d like you to try it. Is that okay?”

I nodded mutely.

“Take in a deep breath.” She instructed, and I followed. “Hold it. Focus on what you’re smelling, instead of what you’re thinking.”

Like fresh snowfall. Like dirt, dug up and replaced a dozen times over. Like wet metal and rust remover.

“You’re pretty good at it.” I heard a smile on her voice, and I turned around to face her. “That calmed you down pretty quick.”

“Um, well...” I mumbled out, still embarrassed. “It’s a trick I use pretty often actually, but... I need to be reminded sometimes, so you still helped.”

Noelle allowed herself a small smile at the coincidence before giving me a serious look again. “Joie...” Noelle scratched at her hairline as she thought of what to say. “Are you serious about running this year? Nobody’s going to judge you if you wait.”

“Yes.” 

Noelle took a deep breath. “It’s going to be difficult. You might not get the results you want. Are you okay with that?”

I stared at the ground for a moment before pulling in a rattling breath. “I know it’ll be hard. I have to work harder just to keep pace with everyone else, I’m starting so much further behind, I’m a shameful umamusume who runs from everything...”

I glanced back towards the track, and spied the ears of the three umamusume who were doing a poor job of hiding their concern. “But... when I run out there, I forget all of that for a moment. I feel confident. I feel alive. I feel invincible.” 

“I want to be like her.” I squeaked out. “I want to be like Opera. I have to, or the chance she gave me was wasted.”

“Alright.” Noelle spoke up, and I turned my head up to look at her. “I can tell you’re fighting through a lot of pain and trouble, Joie, but you don’t have to fight it alone.” Noelle’s face slowly turned into a gentle smile.

“I... I know, I have Opera’s and-”

“No, what I mean is-” Noelle laughed a little bit. “I’ll fight your troubles with you. I’ll help make your dreams come true. If you’ll have me by your side, I mean.”

My eyes widened. All of a sudden, the encroaching gloom that was surrounding me pulled away, and the sky was bright again.

“Is that a yes?” Noelle asked, tilting her head a bit.

“Okay,” I said quietly. “I, um... I know I’m... pretty difficult. And, um, you already have a trainee, don’t you...?”

“Honestly, It’s been long enough that I ought’ve gotten another by now,” Noelle laughed. “Been in the industry long enough, I figure- and hey, if you’re difficult, then that’s a good challenge for me!”

I still wanted to refuse. I still felt like I hadn’t earned this kindness. I still had to do more.

I couldn’t just say yes. If I opened my mouth, I’d just run away again, I’d refuse her like an idiot... I’d have to be more like Opera. Whatever part of her was in me, I took hold of it, and let it swell within me to fight back my doubts. My heart soared, and my sky grew even brighter as I opened my mouth to speak. I was done hesitating. “If you would offer me your blade to fight my battles, then I would be a fool to refuse. Thank you.”

Noelle grinned. “It’s official, then. Now, let’s go check in on our eavesdroppers, shall we?”

All of a sudden, all three pairs of ears poking around the corner vanished at once. Noelle and I shared a laugh as we walked back to the turf.

-----

It still felt good to run. Whenever I was on the turf, it felt like I was doing what I was made for. Exercising any other way got my pulse to rise, sure, but running was what made my entire body tingle, what made the sun itself shine brighter for me.

“And time!”

But, at least now, the sky no longer dimmed when I slowed myself down.

I wheeled around in a large circle back to Trainer Noelle. It had only been three weeks since we started working together in an official capacity, and it already felt like I’d made incredible progress.

“One minute, forty-two seconds and change. Great work out there, Joie.” Noelle smiled as she etched my time onto her document- a record of my progress over our time together, and a testament to her methods’ success.

“Only thanks to your advice!” I beamed. “Your corrections to my running posture were exactly on the mark. I felt much less resistance from the wind - though I will say I had trouble maintaining it throughout the entire run.”

“Hm. Sounds like we need to work on your core some more, then. How are you feeling after the run?” Noelle asked. “Any pain or soreness at all in the legs?” She asked this question every time, and she stressed the importance of it- Injury left untreated could be disastrous for an Umamusume’s livelihood, never mind her career, but I remained fit as a fiddle and in my prime.

“Nothing of the sort!” I proclaimed. “In fact, I feel as though I could take the run all over again!”

“Hm, well, if you’re not tired, you’re probably not running at your maximum pace.” Noelle grinned. “But let’s take a break anyway.”

We walked over to meet up with Tojen Lily, who was sitting on the bleachers and scrolling her phone. She held it up to us as we approached. “Hey, look! I found this place that serves soda with shaped whipped cream on top!” She held up a picture of a toothache-inducing soda confection, whipped cream piled high with a cherry on top, two cute little ears, and a pattern of cinnamon dusting that made it look like a purring cat. “Think we could go check it out later?”

“I dunno, where is it?” Noelle asked.

“Um...”

“Forgot to check, huh?” Noelle laughed as Lily scrolled through her phone, her eyebrows knit.

“Lily!” I held my hand to my chest as I feigned offense. “Were you not watching my run? Is your Umastagram timeline truly more interesting than I am?”

“I was watching!” Lily pouted at me as she continued scrolling. “I can watch and scroll at the same time! You were great as always, Joie.”

“Hmph.” I turned up my nose. “Clearly I have some improving to do- when I run, I want the undivided attention of everyone watching!”

“Wasn’t it just this morning that Opera had to fetch you from your dorm because there were too many people in the lobby?” Noelle jabbed her elbow at me, though her good-natured ribbing did kind of hurt a bit.

“I- well, it’s different on the track!” I protested. It was my turn to pout now.

“If you say so.” Noelle handed me a water bottle, which I eagerly cracked open. “You figure out where the soda place is, Lily?”

“It’s in Sapporo...” Lily pouted. “Well, whatever. Maybe we can visit if we have a race near there?”

“Right, so, I’ll pencil you in for...” Noelle dug through her bag for her notes and flipped through them. “... Sapporo Junior stakes, so you can go try a soda.”

Lily stuck her tongue out at Noelle, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

I crinkled the water bottle in my hands, feeling the plastic give way under my fingers. Light glittered off of the surface of the water. Winter gave way to spring as March arrived, and the weather was getting warmer and warmer.

Working with these two was awkward at first to be sure- but I couldn’t help but let my guard down when I was around them. Before I knew it, I was bickering with them as though they were my family. 

Maybe part of why I had been avoiding tryouts wasn’t just the fear of disappointing TM Opera O with a poor performance. Most other trainers would take one look at the story I had to give them, and treat me like I was some sort of animal to shelter, not a racer with ambition. They’d give me looks like the one Rob Roy’s trainer gave me- a look that says, ‘I don’t think you can do it. I feel sorry for you, that you even think that you can.’

But... Noelle took me seriously. She took a look at my condition and my delusional insistence on getting myself ready this year, and was working to make it happen anyway- and I was making way better progress with her than I was alone.

No, that was wrong. I wasn’t making better progress, I was making exceptional progress.

I still wasn’t ready for my debut, but every week, I shaved entire seconds off of my time. I was still performing worse than Lily was, but I was catching up to her time fast. I was only a couple seconds behind her now. Noelle would find faults to work on, and give me an exercise plan to make it happen. I’d work on it, and the cycle would repeat itself. 

We believed it could happen. Therefore, it was possible. Where anyone else would have told me to give up, she gave me a chance to prove myself.

It wasn’t just that, though. Noelle was the sort of person who tended not to sugarcoat anything, despite her tendency to make jokes. She didn’t make excuses for my failures, and didn’t couch my successes in language like ‘You’re doing so well despite your circumstances!’- Not to say she ignored the facts of the matter. 

Lily, on the other hand, was the sort of person who was extremely likeable from the start. She had a tendency to space out during practice, but whenever she found something she liked, she always shared it with such enthusiasm that it felt like your own - including whenever she made an improvement in her running, as well. It was mostly her energy that made me look forward to practice every day. On our break days, she’d take me out shopping to look at more clothes, or check out trendy restaurants - whenever Doto had the time, I’d invite her along as well.

Speaking of...

“Ah, the stars of the show have arrived,” Noelle waved as my two senpais arrived in their track suits as well. “Thanks for agreeing to do partner running with us today.”

“Ah, think nothing of it!” Opera dramatically swished a cape that wasn’t there as she approached. “There was time in our schedules, and while I have heard plenty about Joie’s progress, there is simply no substitute for witnessing it firsthand! Don’t you agree, my dear Doto?”

“Wait-” Lily sat straight upright like she’d been hit by a lightning bolt. “When you said we were doing partner running today, I thought it’d be with each other!”

I just quietly sipped on my water. Considering this whole thing had been arranged because Noelle asked me to relay the request on to Opera and Doto myself, I was significantly less surprised. This would be my first partner run, but until Noelle asked me for the favor, I wasn’t expecting it to be with one of these two, either.

“Sure, we could do that,” Noelle tapped her pen against her clipboard. “But considering Joie’s friends have a lot of experience, I figured it’d be a waste not to make use of it a little, huh?”

“Using me for my connections, huh?” I smiled wryly. “You’re going to make me think that’s the only reason you scouted me.”

“Just being honest.” Noelle shot a smile back at me. “But the other half of it is, those two being more experienced means you’re going to get the real deal. Lily, you go in front. Opera, could you run with her?”

“M-me?!” Lily meekly protested before-

“Of course!” Opera’s voice almost immediately bulldozed poor Lily, who had to scramble to her feet to trot after Opera. Noelle stood up to amble after the two of them and stood by the track.

“It’s a nice afternoon isn’t it?” Doto smiled gently as she sat down next to me. We saw each other nearly every day- there wasn’t much need for greetings. “How are you feeling about your training...?”

“It’s going great.” I returned Doto’s smile, though I couldn’t quite match the cat-lipped grin she sported sometimes. “It really feels like Noelle understands me.”

“That’s good to hear.” Doto fidgeted with her hands. “I, um... still feel bad that Opera and I weren’t...”

“It’s fine, and it was honestly mostly my fault,” I sighed out. “For someone who forgot all her training knowledge, I sure acted like I knew what I was doing. Working with Noelle’s really been humbling.”

“Okay...” Doto looked out at the track, where Lily and Opera had taken their positions. Noelle gave the signal- and Lily turned into a blur of motion, while Opera waited almost a whole second to start running after her. I quirked my eyebrow. Was Opera just being dramatic as usual, or had she actually missed the signal?

“What kind of runner is Lily?” Doto asked, curious about my new friend.

“She’s got a good initial spurt.” I said, thinking back to the times I’ve watched her run. Opera had already caught up to Lily, and was following behind her about two lengths away. “Noelle thinks she’ll do best as a front runner, but that means she needs to work on her stamina... She tends to start slowing down near the end of her runs.” Over the course of a single sentence, Opera had already caught up to Lily, and was all but breathing down her neck. I wasn’t sure what this was supposed to prove- I could’ve done that. Opera wasn’t even running at her full speed.

“What about you?” Doto asked.

“Well, it seems natural for me to play in the pack, right?” I shrugged. “I’ve watched pretty much every one of your races in person, and I know the strategy you two employ pretty much by heart. It just feels like the logical conclusion.”

Doto pursed her lips in the way she so often did when she wanted to say something, but didn’t quite have the courage to do so.

“... You don’t agree?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Ah, um... No, never mind.” Doto stammered. “I, um-”

Noelle’s voice interrupted us. “And time!” As to be expected, Opera had blasted past Noelle, with Lily trailing very far behind. The poor girl had been left completely in Opera’s dust, panting and sweaty as she stumbled over the finish line and flopped onto the turf unceremoniously.

Opera, naturally, turned around to go help Lily up, and I decided I’d walk over to the side of the turf now, rather than wait for Noelle to call me over. “Well run, my new friend! Coming second place to the Overlord is an honor that few have received!” Opera more or less had to pry poor Lily off of the grass and haul her up onto her feet.

“You’re, uh... you sure are fast, huh...” Lily weakly laughed out. “I’m, uh... not sure what you expected, Trainer...”

“Are you hurt?” Noelle asked, leaning in to check on Lily.

“No, just...” Lily wheezed. “I think that’s the hardest... I’ve ever run in my life...”

“Alright then. To the bench with you two. Joie, you’re in front now. Doto, could you be her partner?” Noelle twisted around to look back towards Doto, but I was pretty much already behind her.

Part of me kind of had to agree with Tojen Lily as I watched her flop onto the bench like a burger patty. I still wasn’t sure what the point of this was. Opera and Doto were seasoned racers. They’d hardly have to try to beat us. Was Noelle just trying to humble us?

Doto walked up behind me. “Are you ready, Joie...?”

I shrugged. “As I’ll ever be.”

We walked over to the starting line. I took a deep breath in anticipation.

It smelled like blue sky. It smelled like the wind at my back. It sounded like horns heralding my victory.

I wouldn’t just let myself get crushed. I’d show Noelle what I was capable of. A grin spread over my face as a laugh perched itself on my lips.

“Start!”

I blasted my way out of the gate, thundering down the turf. It yielded to my feet, as easily as ever. It was just another run. I’d push myself and prove I wasn’t-

Chills.

Noise behind me. Eyes on my back. 

Dread seized my heart and ripped it from my chest, plunging me into the abyss. My breath stopped, my pulse fell silent. My head turned unbidden to take a look at the thing behind me- and the barest glimpse of what I saw terrified me.

This wasn’t Meisho Doto.

Meisho Doto was a clumsy, cute girl who hung out constantly with TM Opera O. The two were practically inseparable, to the point where many people assumed they were dating. If they were, they never saw the need to make it official by telling anyone, myself included.

Meisho Doto was a friend of mine who I sometimes brought out shopping. She liked cute foods, but could never bring herself to actually eat them. I always had to take the first bite, or she’d never be able to forgive herself for ruining the chef’s artistry- not that it was a good idea for me to do that, considering how spicy she liked to order things.

Meisho Doto was an accomplished racer who nonetheless had issues with her confidence. Were it not for TM Opera O, she might have had her name sung as the Overlord’s was. Even so, she had her own sizable fanbase who preferred her clumsy charm.

The being behind me wasn’t any of those things. This was not Meisho Doto. 

This was a monster. A sentient thunderstorm, dogging my every move. Crashing thunder, striking at my heels. One misstep and I would be dead. A blur of brown and white, face entirely obscure except for a single, electric eye fixed squarely on my back. She was entirely unrecognizable from the umamusume who had stood by my side mere moments ago.

I couldn’t look at her. I had to look ahead. The sound was growing louder by the moment. I had to run faster.

But there was no way I could. It was completely hopeless. How could I have underestimated her? I knew that she was Opera’s equal, I’d seen what she could do, but some part of me still thought that I could beat her in a race.

Maybe I could’ve beaten Meisho Doto, the cute, clumsy girl who I’d eaten ice cream with last weekend. But I could never beat Meisho Doto, the racer, the Takarazuka Kinen champion, The Overlord’s Knight. Not as I was.

But I’d still try.

I dug my feet into the ground, clawing at it to carve into the underworld and snatch my heart back from the demons that had seized it. It was bloodied and tattered, but I shoved it back into my chest anyway and held it in place. My pulse started again.

I roared. 

I willed my limbs to move faster than ever. I held myself low to the ground to minimize my profile. I tried every trick I knew to go even just a little faster. I pulled around the racetrack’s corner- I clung so close to it that I thought I might collide with the railing, but I needed every advantage I could get. The footfalls of those who had come before me had softened the earth, but I barreled forwards regardless.

A speck of blue on the horizon. The finish line, and Noelle standing there, as though she were the guard of the underworld- the abyss that I had been plunged into, that I’d been fighting so fiercely to escape.

I could do it. It was only a little further. The storm peeled back as I got closer, closer to escaping the underworld-

And the storm swallowed me.

The stormclouds dissipated into fluffy white, and I could only see Meisho Doto’s back as she blew past me. I had blinked and she was already there. The blue sky was already hers. I wasn’t even close.

... I couldn’t help but laugh at myself.

My lungs burned. My veins pounded, my eyes drowned in fog as the truth made itself crystal clear- what Noelle’s point was.

If Lily and I were partner running, maybe we would be a bit competitive with one another. We were both going to debut this year, and we were both aiming for the Tiaras- but I found it much easier to accept Tojen Lily as a rival than I would someone like Peaceful World or Air Groove’s understudy. We were friends. We’d push one another to greater heights, like what I’d seen with Opera and Doto...

But we wouldn’t have been serious. 

And that was the funniest part. Opera and Doto weren’t serious. If they were, they wouldn’t have bothered running behind us at all- but they ran behind us, treating us like genuine rivals, even if they had to pretend. Noelle wanted us to experience what it was like to have someone at your back- someone intent on overtaking you, devouring your dreams whole, and sending you to hell.

I was reminded of the forest of eyes in the cafeteria. If just one person behind me had sent me screaming down the track, fearful for my life...

I slowly came to a stop after I crossed the finish line. I wanted to puke, my senses swam with adrenaline...

But I was still laughing.

“Are you okay?” Doto was herself again. She ran up to me, concern plain on her face. “I-I’m sorry, maybe I should’ve-”

“No.” I interrupted her. 

“Eh?”

“Don’t... apologize.” I couldn’t control my breathing well enough to take a deep breath and center myself- but part of me didn’t want to. Light was pouring in through the cracks of the world as my mind tingled with ecstatic realization.

I could burn away that forest. I was the light that banished the darkness. As I forged myself into a true successor to the Centurial Overlord, my brilliance would become so undeniable that any who dared gaze upon me would be blinded. All I had to do was do what I was made to do.

“You showed me just how long my road is, if I am to hope to be Opera’s inheritor.” My smile widened impossibly as I felt the purest joy I had ever felt. Colors of impossible saturation painted the world in unreal beauty. “And in doing so, you have helped me take a momentous step down that path. So don’t apologize, and instead accept my wholehearted thanks.”

Doto still wasn’t smiling back- she looked worried. Concerned that I’d overworked myself? Nonsense. I felt great. 

Noelle walked over to the two of us, and I turned my grin towards her - though like Doto, Noelle looked a bit startled as I did so, seemingly sensing that something was amiss. “Hey, uh... Joie, you okay?”

“I get it, Noelle!” I struggled to contain myself, completely drunk upon this overwhelming sensation- on every overwhelming sensation, as though I beheld the entirety of the world at once.  “You wanted to show us the pressure of a real race, you wanted us to feel the hounds of hell snapping at our heels- Only through the greatest adversity can we be made great! And with your tutelage, I will be made great! I’ve never been happier before in my life- because now I can see my future kingdom more clearly than ever before, and the path to take it! Shall we go again?! I can run more! How was my time?” I swung my limbs animatedly as I spoke, struggling to enunciate myself with words alone.

Noelle’s brow furrowed into the shape of misplaced concern. “Joie, what’s going on? You’re not acting like yourself.”

“Whatever do you mean?” I cackled, pulling my hair back out of my face with my hand. “I’m more myself than I’ve ever felt before! I can do anything! I can-”

Noelle glanced towards Doto, who looked... afraid?

Why was she scared?

Was I doing something wron-

Oh, fuck, my lungs hurt.

The light that was bleeding into the world suddenly shut off. The impossibly vivid colors I was seeing suddenly faded back into familiar, real tones of green and brown. My body finally remembered how hard I’d pushed myself just now, and I fell into gravity's cruel embrace as my knees suddenly gave out.

“Joie!” Doto immediately rushed to my side.

“Ow ow ow,” I winced. I’d landed hard on my rear end.

“I’m gonna wait to ask what the hell that was until I’m sure you’re okay.” Noelle’s face fell completely flat as she entered Serious Trainer mode. “Give me your legs. Where does it hurt?”

“I-” I coughed. “I don’t think I’m hurt, just... they gave out when I realized how tired I was...”

Noelle prodded at my legs regardless, trying to test for a break or a sprain.

“... No swelling or bruising, so probably just fatigue...” Noelle exhaled. “Okay, so, you wanna explain what that was about?”

“What was what about?” I weakly deflected.

“Don’t make me say it. You know what I’m talking about.” Noelle glared at me.

... It had been months since my first run, and it hadn’t happened again since then, so I figured it had been a fluke. It was the first time I’d ever gotten to truly run as an umamusume, so it was understandable that I was overwhelmed... But this was the start of a troubling pattern. I was seeing things that weren’t there again... And it didn’t wear off after I’d stopped running this time.

How could I even explain this without sounding insane? Would Noelle sideline me if I spoke about this honestly? I couldn’t risk that. I just had to hope it didn’t happen again- and if it did, then... I’d have to figure out some way to control it and reel myself back in. Even so, Doto recognized the pattern, too- I could see it in her eyes. That abominable look of pity, coming from her, hurt more than anything.

“I think I just got overexcited...” I laughed weakly. “That’s the first time I’ve ever actually raced someone, so I guess I got carried away.”

Noelle scrutinized me. It was clear she didn’t buy what I was selling, but if she pressed me on this, I wasn’t going to budge.

“Alright.” Noelle bent over to pat me on the back. “Good work out there, girls. How about we all go for crepes?”

“Crepes?!” I heard Lily perk up from the sidelines. “I know just the place!”

Notes:

NOELLE'S NOTES

JOIE DE VIVRE-

TURF APTITUDE: A DIRT APTITUDE: E

- A socially anxious Umamusume who apparently comes from a very difficult background. Suffers from severe agoraphobia. Passionate about racing- to a fault, it seems. We'll have to work on getting her to pace herself, along with getting her more comfortable in public. Despite the issues with her temperament, she exhibits incredible potential. If she keeps up her current rate of improvement she might actually be able to live up to the title of 'Overlord's Heiress'.

- Despite being mentored by TM Opera O, seems to have never done a proper run with other Umamusume before (probably because of the phobia). Something to work on. I don't want her getting spooked during her debut and hurting herself.

- Gets along well with Tojen Lily. Good, I didn't want to have to get them to play nice when Joie is difficult enough to manage as it is. Still worried about what'll happen when they start competing seriously, though.

-----

I am no longer asking. Look at this wonderful fanart by guest commenter 'horsefem enjoyer'.

Anyhow, I have only one more backlogged chapter... Though, truth be told, I've managed to write a couple just while parceling these out over the course of the last week. All of your kind words have been great for my motivation!

Chapter 10: Chestnut

Summary:

"'ENTR' "Orbit". Commencing... "Observation" of the 『Anomaly』."

“It’s a three-way battle for first place! Who will take the Shield home?! It’s Manhattan Cafe and Jungle Pocket! They’re neck and neck, and Narita Top Road isn’t far behind! Can she make the difference?!”

Agnes Tachyon’s ears flicked with annoyance. Even with her dorm room door closed, she could overhear the commotion being caused in the other room. Normally, yes, she would be watching that race as well- This year’s Tenno Sho Spring included a couple of her favorite guinea pigs, and they always offered excellent data...

But Agnes Tachyon had better things to do. Here she was, holed up in her room and hunched over her desk, comparing formulations and doing her due diligence. Chemistry was a delicate art- the smallest contaminant could spoil the entire process, after all, so only after checking and re-checking her work would a field test even be permissible.

“Jungle Pocket! Manhattan Cafe! It’s Manhattan Cafe! Manhattan Cafe pulls ahead at the last moment! Manhattan Cafe takes the Tenno Sho! Manhattan Cafe!!”

Cheers erupted from the common area, disrupting Tachyon’s concentration again. At least now, it’d be over.

Also, Cafe won. Good for her. She’d make sure to congratulate Cafe as soon as she got back.

But... revisiting her old notes on Plan A, it was so clear to her now just how sloppy and rushed her work was. Perhaps that was born of stress and pressure, her desperate desire to make the impossible possible. To make it so she could keep running.

But it wasn’t to be. She gave up after that fateful Satsuki Sho when her body was on the brink of collapse, and so she became the Phantom Triple Crown - a living ghost, drifting through the world and barely clinging to existence by siphoning off of others. Plan B. Hoping desperately that someone could reach that limit which her body didn’t permit her to grasp at.

Until something came along that made her believe again. Living proof that absurd impossibilities nonetheless existed in this world, and the moment she had it, that black void in which her formulae floated began to spark to life again as prismatic light flowed into it. She was inspired.

And, judging from the pile of pages on Digital’s desk across the small dorm room bearing the countenance of Digital’s latest romantic heroine, Digital had been inspired as well- by the same person, no less.

Perhaps that is why the Emperor had Tachyon perform that physical examination? Had she known this would be the result?

“This has all had a most interesting way of turning out, doesn’t it...?” Tachyon giggled to herself. 

=====

“No, no, Trainer!” Tojen Lily insisted. “If you want to use proper manners, then before a meal, you have to say, ‘Itadakimasu!’” She clapped her hands together for emphasis.

“O-Okay...” Trainer Noelle laughed nervously, putting her hands together. “Um... Idadakeymas?”

“You’re pronouncing it wrong! And you need to put more energy into it! Do you want the chefs to think you don’t appreciate their cooking?!”

Tojen Lily, her Trainer, and her teammate Joie de Vivre were at a small restaurant (Lily’s recommendation, obviously) to celebrate a major milestone- Joie had broken past a minute-forty on her time, and Trainer Noelle had wanted to reward her trainee’s hard work with some good food. Lily was careful to pick out a restaurant that catered to umamusume, of course- She prided herself on being able to find the trendiest places wherever she went!

“I think maybe the chefs won’t mind that much, since Miss Noelle is a foreigner...” Joie de Vivre chuckled. “If you take all day lecturing her about etiquette, then our ramen will be cold before we eat.” Joie had in front of her an absolutely massive platter of sushi and a huge bowl of ramen, and Lily had ordered something pretty similar. Trainer Noelle, by comparison, nearly had her tiny bowl of ramen crowded off of the table entirely.

“Hey! This is useful info for me, y’know?” Trainer Noelle poked her chopsticks in Joie’s direction, potentially threatening to steal one of her pieces of sushi. “I’ve lived here for seven years, but I had no idea I was being rude this whole time!”

“...  It’s Manhattan Cafe! Manhattan Cafe pulls ahead at the last moment!”

The staff and a few of the patrons were watching the spring Tenno Sho on a TV mounted in the corner - Which annoyed Lily just a little bit, since she was hoping to get away from the racing and spend some time to get to know her trainer and teammate a bit better, but even that little overheard glimpse had their heads twisting away to focus on the race instead of their food. Total race-heads, the both of them!

Lily, of course, knew just how to get their attention back. “Well, if you’re gonna be distracted... yoink!” In a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it motion, Lily swiped one of Joie’s tamago nigiri and stuffed it in her mouth.

“Hey!” Joie turned to look at Lily, who simply grinned smugly at her kouhai and swallowed.

“Oh, so you don’t mind waiting to eat if it’s to look at a race, huh?” Lily teased. “What, you got a crush on Manhattan Cafe or something?”

Joie de Vivre scoffed at that. “What? No. Why would I like her?”

“Ooh, so you don’t like her...” Lily instantly picked up on that little thread. “Is it because she took the Arima Kinen from Opera-senpai~?”

“Whatever.” Joie quickly snatched away one of Lily’s maguro nigiri, which prompted Lily to try and intercept with her own pair of chopsticks- rats, a bit too slow!

“That’s enough rough-housing, you two.” Trainer Noelle scolded. “Let’s just let each other eat our meals in peace, okay? Eatatakimas!”

Close enough. Lily and Joie called it even there and got to eating, though Lily couldn’t help but let her thoughts drift a bit as she ate.

They were an odd group, the three of them- Trainer Noelle (she didn’t like being called by her last name, for whatever reason) was a foreign transfer from Scotland. People kept saying she was from Britain, but Noelle would always insist she was from Scotland as though it were a matter of pride to her- Not that it really made a difference to most people she met. She was still a foreigner, so the fact that she’d managed to land a position at Tracen Academy at all was pretty impressive. Lily had actually specifically picked her out from a bunch of offers from other trainers because of that. 

She was still curious about what made Noelle pursue her career in Japan rather than her homeland, but it still felt rude to ask her that. Maybe she just liked Japanese culture?

On the other hand was Joie de Vivre, her kouhai- well, technically, they were equals since they were both going to debut this year, but since Joie joined the team second, Lily called dibs on being senpai. Them’s the rules, she doesn’t make them!

Really, between her two companions at dinner, Joie was the one that Lily was the most interested in getting to know. She was a really strange girl, to the point where she almost felt like two people sharing a single body. The moment you got her in a crowd, she’d clam up and her ears would pin to the back of her head- Apparently, she struggled with severe agoraphobia, to the point where she used to be a borderline hikikomori and it was TM Opera O of all people who dragged her out of her shell.

Racing was a strange career to pick for someone with a phobia like that, but it was really the most fascinating thing about her. The moment she even got near the track, she totally transformed and became a cheerful, eloquent umamusume who had a magnetic, infectious confidence and wonder-filled enthusiasm. When Lily showed Joie something that she took for granted as an everyday part of life as an Umamusume, Joie was always completely over-the-moon about it- shopping, eating sweets, running together... 

Maybe part of that cheerfulness rubbed off on Lily just a bit, because whenever she was doing something with her, it was just a little bit more fun no matter what it was. Joie was always so withdrawn and suspicious around strangers, so seeing her smile made Lily feel like she was being let in on a secret.

Plus, there was her two friends... Really, she had some insanely powerful connections. Lily had to do a double-take when Agnes Tachyon had come around to analyze Joie’s training one day.

She hadn’t spared a second glance at Lily, which stung a little, but Lily tried not to think about that. She’d have probably preferred looking at Joie, too.

Despite all that, Joie remained humble. Everyone at school called Joie de Vivre ‘The Heiress’ or ‘The Overlord’s understudy’ or something like that, but Joie didn’t want to rely too heavily on her connections. She already had big shoes to fill...

It was something Lily definitely sympathized with.

Unfortunately for Lily’s train of thought, the last of her ramen noodles had been slurped up. Lily quickly moved on to drinking the broth from the bowl, chugging the salty and savory broth. Joie quickly snatched another nigiri while Lily’s hands were full- sly move, but Lily would get her back for that later.

“Guess you like the food, huh?” Lily grinned as she wiped her mouth clean of residual soup. “You could just order some of your own instead of stealing mine!”

“Stealing makes it taste better.” Joie mumbled through a full mouth.

“Well, keep stealing from each other, then. I’m already going to have a hard time paying for all this...” Noelle laughed nervously.

“It’s no problem if we split the bill.” Joie took a big sip of her ramen broth. “I’m not really worried about money.”

“No, no, I’m the trainer and I’m treating you, so I should pay.” Noelle chuckled. “Don’t make me force my generosity on you. I’ll do it.”

“I thought you were basically orphaned?” Lily asked in a bit of confusion, though immediately regretted it when Joie flinched. Right. She didn’t like talking about that.

“Well, um... My dad left a bunch of money. It’s basically the only way I could afford to go to Tracen...”

Joie glumly stirred her broth with her chopsticks. Damn it! Lily just wanted to get to know her better, but her stupid past kept mucking it all up and making her sad!

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up...” Lily put a finger to her cheek as she tried to figure out what to say... She did come up with an idea, but it was a bit of a risky gambit.

“Do you really not have any happy memories at all...?” Lily asked. Part one of the gambit. This could really backfire on her, but she needed to take a chance if she was gonna get this payoff.

“... Most of them are with Opera.” Joie sighed. “We were really good friends, but I don’t see her as often these days. She’s busy with other stuff, and I’m not her...” Joie trailed off.

Right, well, it could’ve gone worse. Time for phase two. “Well!” Lily chirped. “That just means it’s even more important to make some happy memories now, right?”

Lily swiftly brought out her phone, pulled Joie into a tight sideways hug, and snapped a quick selfie while Joie was still a bit confused. It was the only way you could take a picture of her- Pretty as she was, Joie was the least photogenic umamusume Lily had ever met, and the moment she knew you were taking a picture of her, she’d freeze up. Not even Lily’s skills with a camera could save her, so it was candid or nothing!

“H-Hey!” Joie meekly struggled to get out of Lily’s grip as she quickly snapped a couple more photos. Yep, as expected, the moment Joie knew she was on camera, her face basically just became a messy blur of glares and pouts. Totally not cute at all- but the first picture was great!

“Moments like these are important, y’know?” Lily giggled. “You gotta have good times to look back on when things get tough, so let’s enjoy the times when they’re good! See, you look really cute in this picture!”

“I have a shrimp tail sticking out of my mouth...” Joie protested, blushing profusely. “And my hair’s messed up... You’re not going to post that on your Umastagram, are you?”

“Hm...” Lily mischeviously grinned. “One more piece of tamago.”

“This is extortion.” Joie pouted.

“It’s not extortion, it’s blackmail.” Lily hummed. “Big difference!” Of course, she didn’t intend on publishing it if Joie didn’t want her to, but she wasn’t above getting more egg sushi out of it.

Interestingly, Joie actually doubled down and shoved the last piece of tamago in her mouth. “Fine then. Post it. See if I care.”

“Oh, so you admit you look good in the picture?” Lily teased.

Joie blushed, and only gave Lily a glance of mock-distrust, before her attention was stolen away from Lily by the server arriving to pick up the group’s dishes.

“Getting... Some... Hashtag... Ramen... With... My... New... Hashtag... Bestie...” Lily used the lull in the conversation to bring up Umastagram and slowly enunciated her new post as she typed it out. “Joie... De... Vivre... Hey, last chance to object before I post it!” 

“Why are you even bothering with that stuff anyway?” Joie pouted.

“Hey, an umamusume’s gotta have a social media presence to make it big! Are you telling me you don’t have an Umastagram or Umatter?”

“No.” Joie grumped. “I hate social media.” She stuffed her last piece of sushi in her mouth as punctuation.

Lily hadn’t really thought of it, but that actually made complete and total sense.

“Well, you’re gonna have to make one anyway... You know fan polls are like, super important for getting into big races, right?” Lily tilted her head. “Plus, you’re super pretty, so I’m sure you’d get lots of ‘em before you even start racing!”

Joie blushed a bit and looked away. “That’s more of a reason for me to not make one...”

“Lily’s right, you know.” Noelle spoke up. “Not having a social media presence is going to make it a lot harder for you to generate fans. You don’t have to post on it every day like Tojen Lily does, but announcing your participation in various races helps generate excitement and attention.”

Joie furrowed her brow and pouted in that cute way she did whenever she was thinking really hard about something, and eventually relented with a sigh. “... I’ll figure something out, I guess...” Joie helped Noelle and the server start stacking empty plates, clearly eager to give herself something else to think about.

“Well, if you don’t figure something out by your debut, you’re gonna have to!” Lily insisted. “If I don’t see a Joie de Vivre on Umastagram after your debut, I’m gonna make one for you, y’know? I’ll be your social media manager, and I’ll take so many cute photos of you! Ehehe~”

“It’s against the rules to impersonate people on those, y’know.” Joie folded her arms.

“How would you know that, huh? I thought you hated social media.” Lily stuck her tongue out playfully.

“Know thy enemy.” Joie huffed.

“I’m glad you’re having fun, girls,” Noelle interrupted, “But I think our server wants to know whether or not we want dessert.”

“Oh.” Joie blinked. “Um... yeah, I could have dessert...”

“You sure it’s in our meal plans, Trainer?” Lily asked.

“Today’s your cheat day. Go wild.” Noelle grinned. “And in exchange, don’t make fun of me for doing the same.”

“It’s a deal!” Lily giggled.

“But I’m not sure what to get...” Joie looked at the tiny dessert menu.

“Hm...” Lily peered over as well. The usual options... Ice cream, pudding, cornets... The parfait looked tempting, but one option actually stood out to Lily as being particularly appropriate.

“Wow, you guys have Mont Blancs?” Lily pointed them out. “Hey, Joie, have you ever had one?”

“I, um...” Joie hesitated. “If I did, I wouldn’t remember...”

“We’ll have some of those, then!” Lily smiled at the server, who dutifully noted the order down and walked away to go fetch their dessert.

“What is a Mont Blanc, anyway?” Joie asked. “Sounds French.”

“It is! It’s a little cake, topped with chestnut puree, cream, and a chestnut on top! It’s perfect for you!” Lily cheerfully explained.

“Why’s that?”

“Well... ‘cause you have a french name, and you’re like a chestnut!” Lily beamed. Prickly on the outside, but sweet on the inside... That was definitely Joie de Vivre, right there.

“Huh.” Joie fiddled with her hair, bringing it close to her starry eyes as she examined it. “I guess I am a chestnut. I hadn’t really thought about it.”

Tojen Lily could only laugh at the misunderstanding. Joie de Vivre really was a funny girl.

=====

“I think that was the tastiest thing I’ve ever eaten!” I excitedly rambled as we exited the small restaurant, walking into the busy street. “Just, the creamy texture, the subtle sweetness... Like they’d plucked clouds spun from sugar from the sky, and then some singing angels mixed them in with whipped cream...” I couldn’t help but gush giddily about the dessert I’d just had. “And the little cake, too...! It was chocolatey, but not too strong, and...”

“You musta really liked it, huh~?” Tojen Lily giggled. “I don’t think I’ve seen you get this excited about eating anything ever.”

I reflexively crossed my arms and pouted at Lily’s teasing. “Well- I didn't get to eat sweets like this before now. Don’t make fun of me.”

“I’m not making fun. Just making sure that next time Valentine’s Day rolls around, I should get you some chestnut chocolates.” That smirk again - now she had to be making fun of me.

“Isn’t it a bit too early in our relationship to be discussing Valentine’s plans?!” I was going to complain more at her, but my train of thought was cut off by the sight of an older couple approaching to enter the restaurant. I dodged out of their way, and nearly stumbled over the restaurant’s sign.

I didn’t really enjoy being out on this busy street like this. Sure, as far as I could tell nobody was looking at me... but with this many people around, ‘as far as I could tell’ didn’t go very far at all. I scanned the area warily to make sure nobody saw me making a fool of myself just now. It’s fine, nobody saw me-

Oh no. Someone did see me. I locked eyes with them- her? An umamusume. I didn’t get a good look at her. Blonde hair. Blue eyes. Probably wearing ear covers, from the blue insides of her ears. Was she a rival? Was she following me?! I ducked behind Noelle to hide, while trying to keep my eye on her as best she could. She was sitting at a cafe across the way, and kept maintaining eye contact with me. Creepy...

Noelle just laughed at my antics, and stepped away from me to give me some space (which was the opposite of what I wanted!!) before saying “Alright, girls. I have some paperwork to do, so I’m heading back to the Academy.”

“Oh, thank the goddesses...” I sighed out. “I’m glad to get back to training-”

“Absolutely not, young lady.” Noelle immediately stopped that idea. “I told you, Today’s your break day. You stay out here and have fun with one another, alright?”

If this was her idea of rewarding me for my progress, then her reward felt a whole lot like a punishment to me.

“I, um, ah-” I stammered. “I’d really... rather, um...” I briefly glanced at Noelle- a costly mistake, since I lost sight of the strange staring umamusume and couldn’t find her again in the crowd. I desperately tried to find her again, but-

“You don’t wanna spend time with meeee?” Lily’s pleading voice all but forced my head to turn towards her, as she put on the biggest, most pathetic display of puppy-dog-eyes I had ever seen, and that was including Doto’s default expression. It was rather impressive that a girl taller than myself who constantly called me her kouhai had such a talent for pulling the ‘cute’ card like this.

Right. Just form a coherent sentence explaining that you find her company to be lovely but you’d rather just have some time to yourself for now. Easiest thing in the world.

“I, ah, I- um, You’re lovely, and- I’d... like... to...?”

Damn it!

“Yaaaaay! Kouhai time for Tojen Lily!” Lily cheered as she struck a cutesy victory pose. My fate was sealed. Fleeing now would make me the greatest villain in history. I was caged, not by any physical bars, but with invincible ones of not wanting to disappoint one of my only friends.

I briefly considered that maybe the fact that I was probably entirely willing to ditch people to do work might’ve been the reason I didn’t already have any friends besides Opera and Doto, but that sort of introspection could be be filed away into the ‘put it off forever until I forget about it’ folder. I didn’t need that right now.

“Hmm, well... if you want to do training so badly today, then how about this?” Noelle snapped her fingers. “Hanging out in public is your training today. You have to work on that whole agoraphobia thing, you know...”

Really, I’d have preferred more of the backbreaking weight-training regimen that I was on last week to this... Especially since I was pretty sure someone was actually following me and looking at me!

“Alright, see you later girls. And I do mean later! If I don’t get Fuji Kiseki complaining to me that you broke curfew, then I’m gonna be disappointed in you two!” Noelle laughed as she walked away, waving lackadaisically.

“Should our trainer really be encouraging us to break the rules...?” I sighed out.

“Oh, she’s just joking.” Lily smiled. “So, what do you want to do?”

“Go home,” I mumbled, still scanning the crowd for signs of my pursuer. Still nothing... Was she gone?

“Bzzzzt! Wrong answer, try again!” Lily held up her arms in a big ‘X’ sign.

“I- I don’t know, Lily!” I tried not to shout as I communicated my exasperation. “I think there was someone looking at me...”

“Of course people are going to look at you, you’re a pretty umamusume...” Lily laughed nervously, as though this were something I should be used to by now.

Yeah. A real umamusume probably would be used to that, wouldn’t she...?

“Okay, well, um... how about shopping?” I tried.

“Ahaha, I kinda blew my budget for this month on our last trip...” Lily scratched the back of her head. She was currently wearing the fruits of that endeavor- an almost excessively frilly pastel-pink dress covered in lace and cute little white bows. It probably could be confused for signature racewear instead of a casual outfit if you weren’t paying attention to how the stitching was clearly not made to hold up to that kind of strain.

“Okay, um...” I stalled. “I’m out of ideas.”

“How about we just go for a walk through town and talk about our hobbies?” Lily smiled as she started walking (we had been loitering outside the restaurant long enough). “Maybe something will catch our eye!”

“Okay, fine...” I acquiesced. I stuck close to Lily and tried not to look hunched-over and nervous, though how successful I was at that was debatable.

“You first!” Lily chirped.

“Me first?” I asked.

“Your hobbies, silly.” Lily stuck her tongue out at me.

“Oh. Um...” My brain stalled as I tried to think of something. We walked past a small book store- yeah, reading. I had been doing a lot of that lately. “... I mean, I guess I’ve taken up reading recently. It’s nice for passing time between training sessions, and people usually leave me alone in the library... And, I mean, it’s good to be well-read...”

“So your hobby is studying?” Lily gave me a sorry-looking smile that made me hunch up my shoulders defensively.

“It’s not studying! History books are actually really interesting, okay?!” I defended myself a bit more passionately than I meant to. “I mean- well, some of them are. A lot of them are pretty dry, but if you boil it down, you can uncover some pretty fun stories about some really dumb stuff that wound up shaping history as we know it.”

“Like what?” Lily asked, tilting her head.

“Like, um...” I was being put on the spot. “Um, well, there was that one time a bunch of guys tried to blow up the British parliament, but failed because they got their barrels of explosives wet...”

I suddenly felt an overwhelming anxiety that what I was saying was not actually interesting at all, and a need to downplay my interest in what was in all likelihood an extremely boring and uncool area of interest. “Okay, sure, whatever, it’s studying.” I pouted.

“If you say so~” Lily hummed. “Are you sure you don’t have anything else? Like from when you were a kid...?”

... Yeah, right. Like I could answer that. The closest thing I had to a hobby growing up was watching Umamusume obsessively and wanting to grow up to be one. I’d run around outside, pretending I was Maruzensky, and my mom didn’t have the heart to tell me I was delusional.

“... Sorry.” Lily glumly said, looking down towards the pavement with droopy ears. “I keep forgetting. I didn’t mean to bring it up.”

Ah, crap.

“Look, I don’t want people to feel sorry for me just because I had a rough childhood.” I sighed as I flicked my ears in annoyance. I really hated this lie that I had to go with that made people throw a pity-party for me every time they got reminded of it- Not only did I not deserve the sympathy, but I just hated being looked down on like that. “Enough about that. What about you?”

“Um, well...” Lily perked back up a bit. “Photography’s fun!”

“You mean taking pictures on your phone?” I didn’t want to make fun of her, but I could hardly believe she didn’t consider reading a hobby, but did consider taking photos to be one...

Lily stuck her tongue out at me. “Of course not! I wanna get a proper camera one day, the kind professional reporters use!”

I winced. Reporters. Ugh.

“It’s a useful skill to have, and people like having someone who’s handy with a camera around! Gotta capture those important moments, y’know, and nothing spoils it like someone having their thumb over the lens!”

“I guess...” I could only picture in my head the thousand-headed hydra of the reporter swarm that dogged Opera’s every step outside of Tracen academy in the later years of her career.

“Plus, I like posting cute photos to my Umastagram!” Lily’s mood had completely recovered, which meant that I was going to get at least a 10-minute lecture about how wrong I was to have an aversion to cameras. Great. “See, here’s my pet frog! I call him Pad-kun~”

Tojen Lily brought her phone up to where I could see it. Indeed, on her phone, I could see a picture of some sort of rotund-looking green frog in a sizable aquarium tank that had been repurposed as a terrarium. I could faintly see Lily holding up her phone in the reflection of the glass.

“Pad? You named your pet frog Pad?” I blinked. “Wait, Hishi Amazon lets you keep a pet frog?”

“Despite how much I begged her, no...” Lily sighed. “My parents take care of him, but I visit to say hello whenever I can! And his name’s Pad, ‘cause like... Lily, Pad! Get it?” Lily pointed at herself and the frog in turn for emphasis.

“Cute.” I deadpanned. “So... a frog’s a good pet, then...? I think I’d rather have a cat...”

“I mean, I guess frogs aren’t really pets in the same way that cats and dogs are pets, because they don’t really make friends in the same way we do... But Pad’s only ever let me hold him. He doesn’t trust mom and dad. And he’s so cute! See how when he’s sitting, he folds his hands up over each other? He looks so polite!”

Lily kept scrolling through photos of her frog. I had to admit, he did look pretty cute. There were even a couple of photos of him wearing cute little hats, another photo of Pad sitting politely, and then- a photo of me, on the track?

“Oop-” Lily quickly shut off the screen- and then, in the inky black void of the reflective smartphone surface, I saw them again. Piercing blue eyes.

I yelped, just about jumping out of my skin as I turned around to face the person peering over our shoulders, which prompted Lily to do the same. 

She was a tall, blonde umamusume- well, taller than me. After suddenly becoming way shorter, I suddenly had a much harder time judging just how tall any given person really was, but she felt pretty tall. That wasn’t the weirdest thing about her, though... Her hair wasn’t just blonde, it was blue as well, mostly on the inner layer. Both of those intertwined hues were a desaturated, barely-there tone. She wore some sort of white diamond-shaped accessories on her temples, and a star-shaped one on her right ear. She was wearing some sort of white, poofy blouse and dress that almost looked more like pajamas than any actual clothing.

If I was honest with myself in that moment, I would have found her ethereally beautiful. Like staring up at the night sky.

“‘Greetings’”, she intoned, staring directly into my eyes. “Neo Universe would like to... initiate ‘Communication’ with you.” She placed the tips of her fingers together and tilted her head. “You are... the『Anomaly』? ”

Lily and I responded with inelegant screaming and running off somewhere else. It wasn’t really either of our best moments, but in our defense, we had been startled pretty badly.

In our rush to be anywhere but there, we had run inside of an arcade in an attempt to lose her amid the flashing lights and sounds, though we probably turned a couple heads by running inside. Luckily for us, people tended to get out of the way of an oncoming umamusume pretty fast, so we didn’t have much trouble getting through the crowds... Though, whether or not we were successful at losing our mysterious pursuer had yet to be seen.

“Who was that?!” Lily panted. “Do you know her? I’ve never seen that girl before!”

“I told you I was being followed!” I hissed, keeping my head low as I peeked out over the seat of some bike-racing game.

“No you didn’t!” Lily snapped. “You didn’t say anything like that!”

“Yes I did!” I huffed. “You didn’t believe me when I told you someone was looking at me! I saw her staring at me when we were outside the restaurant...”

“And she’s been following us this whole time?” Lily whined. “Talk about creepy... Do you have, like, a stalker fan?”

“If I do, she doesn’t look anything like that.” I mumbled, vaguely remembering the shape of a certain pink-haired umamusume. “January was the first time in a while that I’d even met with anyone besides Opera and Doto, so I don’t know how anyone would know about me...”

What had she called me? An... anomaly? She put a very strange amount of emphasis on that word. Like the way she said it made it sound really important. I hadn’t had the time to process what she’d said before I bolted, though...

“Maybe she’s friends with Opera...?” Lily ventured.

“I’d have definitely remembered someone like that...” I frowned. It was a possibility that I already knew this girl and I’d just forgotten... I kept scanning the arcade for her- There she was! “I see her!”

“Where?” Lily squinted as she scanned through the arcade. I glanced over- Lily should definitely have been able to see the mystery girl from where she was, given she was just standing in the middle of the arcade... I had to literally point the mystery girl out to Lily before she noticed her.

“Um... Maybe we should go talk to her?” Lily nervously asked. “I mean, she kinda startled us, but she doesn’t look like she’s looking for trouble or anything...”

I just stared at Lily like she’d grown an extra head, and she quickly got the message.

After looking around a few times and apparently not spotting us, the mystery umamusume’s ears drooped. She tilted her head a bit and stared at an empty corner, as though she were contemplating something... before just drifting back out of the arcade and disappearing out of sight.

“And she’s gone.” I let go of the breath I’d been holding. “Whew. That was close.”

Close to what, I wasn’t sure. Close to a Social Encounter of the Third Kind? Probably. I was having a hard enough time having a regular social encounter, thank you very much.

“Well, um...” Lily laughed. “I guess we’re already in the arcade. Do you wanna try playing some games?”

“Aha, well... I’m not sure I wanna explain why we just ran inside to the prize vendor...”

“Oh, right, they have prizes here...” Lily bent around to take a better look at the counter. “Oh, look! They have a giant Opera plushie as one of the prizes! Hey, I bet I can get more tickets to take it home first~”

“Over my dead body,” I snarled with a grin.

Lily matched my grin with her own. Somehow, I got the feeling I was giving her exactly what she wanted.

Notes:

Last backlogged chapter! I hope you've been enjoying the daily updates, but things should probably slow down from here so I don't burn myself out.

Chapter 11: Cloud Cover

Summary:

"... That sounds tiresome. I don't need to get involved in that. I just need to win."

The weather was slowly but surely getting warmer as April turned into May. You could start calling it properly 'warm' now, despite the rain- Noelle certainly did. She'd started dressing for summer after the sakura blossoms faded in April. Training regimens varied on a week by week basis- Some days we would do partner running, some days would be focusing on weight training. Noelle’s style was somewhat reactive to the flaws she’d point out in my running, but slowly she was building a more stable routine around me to focus on my strengths as a runner- but no matter how much the seasons changed, one thing remained the same.

I was running out of time. My debut was in a month, and one of my conditions for Noelle being my trainer was that we wouldn’t push back my debut.

I was nonetheless continuing to make exceptional progress under Noelle. My 1600-meter run was now 1:37:45. I only had to shave off a few more seconds, and I’d be at my target time... But that was running laps around a track, not fighting for my life in the middle of a race. I knew better now than to chase after a number on a stopwatch as my only goal. Everything was different in the middle of a race.

I’d also studied back through the academy’s extensive collection of tapes, and watched a lot of Opera’s races. I was trying to study her style as best I could. Sometimes she elected to stick inside the pack and burst out towards the end, sometimes she elected to chase the pace and overtake the leader at the last moment. Always, though, she made the decision that was the most dramatic- which suited her, I supposed.

All of that led to today. The first actual race I’d be doing - not my Debut, but a scrimmage that Noelle had put together with some of the other trainers. Normally, to even get this far, I’d have gone through tryouts and practice aplenty, but this would be the first real test of my skills.

I was sitting down with Noelle in her office- a one-on-one meeting before the scrimmage. Tojen Lily would be participating as well, but Noelle wanted to talk to each of us alone, not as a team. “I’m going to be honest with you, Joie.” Noelle looked me dead in the eyes with her serious face. “Don’t expect to win today.”

“That’s an encouraging start.” I deadpanned. “You’re my trainer, aren’t you? Isn’t the first thing out of your mouth supposed to be something along the lines of ‘You can do this! I believe in you!’?” I briefly pitched my voice up to affect a squeaky, cheerful tone like you’d see in a tv show or something.

“I don’t make a habit of blowing smoke up people’s asses.” Noelle maintained her serious expression. “You’ve been working hard, I’ll give you that- but you’re as green as they come. I didn’t tell you to delay just because conditioning your body would be tough, but because you’d have to condition your mind, too. You’re going to be on the same track as 11 other umamusume, and a lot of them are going to have their eyes on you.”

Urk.

“Yeah. That reaction right there is what I’m worried about.” Noelle let herself sigh as she slumped in her chair. “So, how do you feel about going into this knowing that, then?”

The first thing I wanted to say was that I didn’t want to. I needed more time to get ready, I needed to study harder, I needed to practice more...

But I couldn’t put it off. My debut was next month. I was lucky Noelle let me put it off this long. I had to face it now, or I’d never be able to.

“... I’m ready to do what it takes to win anyway.” I took a deep breath in. Noelle’s office smelled like stationary and cold coffee. Like takeout fries reheated in a microwave. “I might not win, but I’m not going to give up, either.”

“That’s the spirit.” Noelle cracked her usual grin. “Now that I’m done browbeatin’ you, let’s go over what actually makes you special as a runner.”

“Oh, so you insult me and then praise me? Is that what they say works as encouragement these days?” I joked sarcastically.

“Hm, careful there, or I might just elect to skip the praise part. Don’t need you getting a head as big as Opera’s.” I wanted to interject that it was Opera’s roommate who had the big head, but I refrained, somehow fearful that Biwa would hear it and burst into the room angrily.

“You’re short and small, but you’ve got pretty long legs for a gal your size. What’s more, you’ve got a light step, and an absurdly fast turnaround.” Noelle shuffled through her filing cabinet, bringing out a few documents and charts that illustrated her point in ways I couldn’t really wrap my head around. “In practical terms, that means you’re maneuverable. You can accelerate and decelerate on a whim and swerve around the competition like nothing else. Keep it up, and you might start making Tokai Teio herself jealous.”

I vaguely recalled running a bunch of slaloms around flags that Noelle had pinned into the turf. So that’s what that was about.

“Your top speed’s also shown incredible improvement over our short time together. Makes me wonder if you wished on a star as a kid, and the goddesses heard you and gave you the perfect body for running on turf.”

I couldn’t let her know just how close to the truth that was.

“But!” Noelle pointed at me. “All that’s at a cost. You don’t have a lotta stamina, Joie. You need to manage it well. Save your energy for the final spurt, and time it damn well. Getting to the front early on won’t help you unless you keep yourself there.”

“I already know all that.” I frowned. “I’ve spent the last couple months watching and rewatching Opera’s races. I’ve seen her races more than anyone.” Again... couldn’t really let her know exactly how much that was true.

“Then you’ve been watching the wrong umamusume.” Noelle scowled at me, as my expression had probably already darkened in turn. “Unless you think we’ve gone and set up the Arima Kinen for you, then that’s not gonna help. This is a 1800-meter run on a different track. You’d have been better off watching something like the Sapporo Junior stakes or the Mainichi Okan. I get that you look up to her, I really do, but you can’t just do what Opera does and expect to win.”

I wanted to get defensive at that- I knew better than anyone that Opera’s strategy was a winning one, but the sinking feeling in my stomach told me she had a point.

“The turf course we’ll be using is modeled after Tokyo’s, though obviously it doesn’t have the same hills.” Noelle slid a map in front of me. “This’ll be a left-handed race. We’ve got the rotten luck of some rain showers, so the turf's gonna be soft.”

I fiddled a bit with the white trackwear top that I’d be racing in. It’d be fine, I reminded myself. These uniforms were thick enough that they wouldn’t go transparent- and even if they did, anything important would be covered up by the number I’d be given.

“You’ve run around this track plenty of times, but you’ll be hitting an extra curve out the gate since you’ve been training for 1600-meter distances. I figure you should hold your spurt untiiiillll...” Noelle held the word in her mouth as she hovered her finger over the map, before landing right around the start of the final straight. “About here.”

“Isn’t that a bit late?” I arched my eyebrow, though after a moment’s thought, I had to agree with Noelle, actually. “... No, you’re right. This is 200 more meters than I’m used to practicing on, the turf is going to be wet, and I’m going to be racing with others as well... It’s probably a good idea to play it safe.”

Noelle smiled a bit. “I was hoping I wouldn’t have to explain it. Chances are, all the other girls out there are gonna be struggling with the mud too. If they don’t adjust, then they’re going to run out of gas. Don’t be afraid to play towards the back if it means conserving your stamina- your acceleration should more than make up for it.”

“What about Lily?” I asked.

“What about her?” Noelle answered my question with a question of her own, though this one was rhetorical. “She’s your rival today. Focus on yourself.”

Right. Just because I knew someone off the turf, that didn’t mean I could afford to underestimate them... Maybe I could think of it as a continuation of our little match in the arcade. In the end, neither of us had the tickets for the giant Opera plushie, even if we’d pooled our winnings, so we had to settle for small ones.

“I think that’s all. Get out there and kick some ass.” Noelle grinned, sliding a paper towards me. “Here’s your position. One of the other trainers will have the number for you to wear. On your way out, tell Lily to come in, alright?”

I briefly scanned the sheet. Position 1, Silk Reunion, never heard of her. Number 2 Fire Escape, never heard of her... Number 3, Tojen Lily. That scans. I figured that all of these other names would be ones I’d never heard of-

Number ten. Zenno Rob Roy.

Number twelve. Admire Groove.

And right between them, there I was. Number eleven, Joie de Vivre.

-----

Practice Race

I felt the damp in the air as I walked outside with a number 11 strapped to my chest and back. 

Tracen Racecourse (Left), 1800 meters.

It wasn’t currently raining, though the clouds hung heavy and low in the air, threatening to bombard us at any moment. 

Early May - Cloudy weather, Soft going.

This wasn’t an official race, but... I could easily imagine the fanfare regardless. The roar of the crowd as the umamusume filtered out onto the paddock... I’d been on the viewing end so many times. Hiding in the crowd, just another anonymous face... But even if this wasn’t the real deal quite yet, it felt special for me to be on the other side of it now.

I scanned the bleachers for familiar faces first. As soon as Trainer Noelle arrived, she’d probably be sitting at the bottom row with a couple of the other trainers- I saw Zenno Rob Roy’s trainer chatting with someone else. TM Opera O was evidently busy, but Meisho Doto had seemingly made the time to come watch, and was sitting with another chestnut Umamusume... Matikanefukukitaru? Probably her. Doto waved at me, and I waved back with a (hopefully not nervous) smile on my face.

Agnes Tachyon was perched in the stands as well, though the look she gave me was strange. Something about her was... different. Somehow, I knew that something imperceptible had changed.

There was, of course, also the proverbial elephant in the room- the pink-haired gremlin waving blue and gold light-up sticks at the entire group of umamusume. It seemed today, though, I was the particular target of her affections, as she loudly shouted out, “Hhhaaaghk! It’s her!! Joie de Vivre! Do your beeeest!”

My first instinct was to just turn around and head back inside after that, but I wasn’t going to let a weirdo like her put me off of racing...

Though, if I thought about it, having her there was actually somewhat encouraging. That was one set of eyes that definitely wasn’t looking at me like I was a rival, and one less bearer of the evil eye was always welcome in my books.

Umamusume milled about the track as a couple of trainers moved the starting gate into place - most of them ones I didn’t recognize. Admire Groove was surely one of them, but I had no idea who it was. Maybe I’d seen some of these girls around the school, but never talked to them...

But in order to find someone I had already talked to, I just needed to look for the only one who was shorter than me.

“Hey there, Zenno Rob Roy.” I smiled as I approached her- She was off in her own little corner, also seemingly made uncomfortable by the crowd. “I finished that book about the Three Kingdoms the other night!”

“Oh! Joie!” Rob Roy turned to face me with a start. “I’m glad to hear that. It’s really quite the fascinating era of history. You can really tell why so many stories are told about the era, right?”

“Well, I guess it’s hard to tell what is and isn’t embellishment...” I laughed. “I mean, there’s no way Sekitoba was that much of a monster, right?”

“I mean, they say the reason they called her ‘Red Hare’ was because she was constantly drenched in blood...” Rob Roy shuddered. “Unparalelled might, combined with an unstable personality... She really does make for an imposing villain.” I treasured these moments- usually, I only ever got to see Rob Roy whenever I visited the library on my break days, and our time to talk was usually short.

“I was pretty surprised to see your name next to mine, though...” Zenno Rob Roy laughed. “I guess this was bound to happen eventually though, right...?”

My smile faded. Right. She wasn’t my friend today. She was my rival.

“The name I’m more surprised to see is Admire Groove’s...” I scanned the other umamusume. “Air Groove mentioned her name to me a while back.”

“I think I’ve heard of her, but I’ve never met her...” Rob Roy held her finger to her cheek. “People keep saying she’s going to sweep the Tiara series next year, but I don’t know if I’ve ever seen her even once. I wonder what kind of umamusume she is?”

“If she’s anything like Air Groove, then probably not the kind of person to make friends.” I grimaced.

“Oh, don’t be like that...” Rob Roy laughed awkwardly.

Another scan of the crowd, and nobody stood out to me- well, except for the horrible goblin umamusume who was currently freaking out over me and Rob Roy talking to one another. I tried not to think about it.

Thankfully, Tojen Lily trotted over to us to assist me in not thinking about it. “Hi, Joie! Am I the last one here?”

I idly looked back over the crowd... Eight heads, plus Rob Roy, Lily, and myself. That made eleven. “Nope. We’re still missing one.”

One of the trainers standing by the gate waved her arms. “Alright, everyone! To your gates!”

“That’s our cue, then.” I locked eyes with Lily.

“I guess it is.” She chirped. “See you at the finish line?”

“No, I won’t,” I grinned up at her. “You’ll see me at the finish line. In first place.”

Lily’s cheerful smile faltered a little bit at my sudden hostility, and part of me worried that I’d hurt her feelings, but this was the nature of competition. We were both going to race to win, here. I watched her trot off to her gate.

“That goes for you too, Rob Roy.” I turned my attention to the gray-haired umamusume next, though she responded with a grin of her own.

“Watch out, Overlord,” She replied. “I’m the hero who’s gonna take you down!”

“You may make the attempt!” I laughed. “But it is only at the end of our battle that we shall see the victor-”

Chills.

Was... Was that the wind? Had the rain started back up? No... That feeling wasn’t anything like either of those. It was more like when I’d felt Doto behind me. But... The race hadn’t even started yet. I slowly turned around to look behind me...

She was a living ice sculpture. Immaculately beautiful in a way that felt uniquely ephemeral and fragile, yet carried with her the implacable weight of a glacier. Her cleats touched the muddy soil, and it froze over and became snowy tundra. The few drops of rain that fell out of the sky froze into perfect snowflakes as soon as they approached her.

Her hair was blue. Her eyes were blue. Her ear-covers were, like mine, blue.

She looked ahead, and only ahead, and glided effortlessly across the turf without so much as acknowledging the world around her... And the moment passed, and it all returned to normal.

The last person I’d had a reaction to like that was Tachyon... She wasn’t even racing, and I was seeing things around her...? Just who the hell was she?!

As she entered gate 12, it became abundantly clear.

“Wow...” Zenno Rob Roy marveled. “So that’s Admire Groove, huh...? She sure is pretty. She reminds me of The Snow Queen, though I’m not really sure why...”

I rubbed my eyes and slapped my cheeks. I had to remind myself that I was just seeing things that weren’t there. “Right, uh... Let’s not be the last ones in, okay?”

Rob Roy and I made our way into the gates. It felt... cramped, despite my short stature. I could barely see over the metal gate in front of me.

Right. This was it. This was a race. It was really happening...

I glanced over at the blue-haired umamusume next to me. “So... you’re Admire Groove?”

No response.

“... Let’s have a good race?” I tried, though she just... kept staring ahead. No response at all. Like I wasn’t even there.

Fine. I get the message, Admire Groove. Concentrate on the race. Take a deep breath...

Smells like petrichor.

Smells like stainless steel handled too many times to count.

Smells like... the stillness after fresh snowfall.

The gates clatter open, and it begins.

Both way too late and way too quickly, I thundered out onto the turf. This wasn’t the real deal, but the stakes had never been higher. I couldn’t afford to embarrass myself here. I was the Heiress. I had to win. I had to get to the- No. Remember, pace yourself, Joie. Find your mark. Find Tojen Lily- right there, at the front. Follow behind her. She always accelerated at the start of her run. Keep pace with her, a few lengths behind. You can make that up in no time.

The world bent to the left right out of the gate. I was on the outer post, so I would have to get closer to the railing to save energy. Staying on the outside could add dozens of meters to my run-

No. It wasn’t an option. There were too many umamusume. A picket line of evil eyes, all waiting for a chance to trap me. Humiliate me.

A fence of bodies walled me off from the inside of the corner. There were gaps, I could get through- but I hesitated. It cost me. The Hero, a streak of gray and white, flew past me, cutting off my opportunity. It wasn’t out of malice. She fought to get to the front. She sought to lead the charge.

That brief window had closed, and the ranks of the enemy had closed so tight that I had no chance at all to slip through. But so what? I was the Heiress. These small fry didn’t matter to me. All faceless soldiers. Their stories were barely worth remembering, whereas I would be remembered for all time. All I had to do was blow past them at the last moment to make their downfall all the more profound. Just to rub in the message that it's what I could have done from the start.

Light cracked the clouds open as we all soared through the first straight.

But the clouds fought to stay closed. The rain froze in the air- this frigid presence behind me, to my right. It was the Snow Queen.

The gentle grace of a snowfall had become the inexorable might of an avalanche. She was right behind me going into the second curve- Snowflakes lapped at my heels. I had to move up, or she’d overtake me, and it’d be over-

=

What the hell was Joie doing? Noelle leaned onto the railing to get a better look as Joie entered the curve- barely the halfway mark, and It looked like she had already started moving up... Was it because Admire Groove was pressuring her? Damn it. She should’ve forced Joie into more scrimmages sooner, because a lapse in tactics like this was going to ruin her run-

=

Zenno Rob Roy wiped her forehead and panted as the pack entered the second corner. She was fighting for the lead with Tojen Lily- who also looked like she was running out of steam. Number five overtook them both, and then number two, and... then the rest. She was falling behind, but she just couldn't go fast enough.

This was hardly the heroic start she had been hoping for, but... Her trainer had told her over and over again that she wasn’t ready yet. That she needed more time to refine her form. That she’d be pushing herself too hard if she tried to keep up with the speed of her peers right now.

Maybe the reason he signed her up for this was to show her just how right he was.

=

I, the blazing sun and she, a howling winter storm- She tore at my flesh, trying to snuff out my light. But the sun blazed brighter than any petty flurry of snow earth could throw at it! I laughed joyously as I blew past everyone in the middle of the final curve. She could freeze the ground under my feet, but it would only be a better surface to kick off of! Everything blazed with glorious heat- My legs burned, my chest burned, my breath itself was Apollo’s flame. The final stretch. My stage. All I had to do was walk forward and claim-

My lungs burned. Not with glory, but with fatigue.

A slender, graceful hand of ice reached up over the horizon. The light that had blasted apart the clouds was taken in its grip... and shattered like glass in a single, decisive motion. Frost formed around my legs and on my hands as I struggled to move. On my right, there she was.

Admire Groove, looking forward. Icy blue trailed from her eyes. In her wake, snowfall. 

And after that, her wake was all that I saw.

Pain seized my everything as I felt myself pushed back by the arctic wind, flesh blackening as frostbite took hold. I wanted to know how on earth she had snuffed out a star- No, she hadn’t. I had messed this up. I burnt myself out.

Of course I did.

My feet slid out from under me as I slipped on the ice- No, it’s mud, get your head out of the fucking clouds, Joie!

I stumbled as reality crashed back into my vision, all of my fantastic imaginings falling away like someone had flipped the table out from under a jigsaw puzzle. I barely knew where I was anymore. I had to get my bearings. I was slowing down. I had to keep going, the finish line was right there...! 

Number five passed me on my left right before I crossed it, and my burning limbs crumbled out from under me right after I was over. I slid to a stop in the merciful embrace of the mud- I could hear concerned gasps from the sidelines. My vision swam as I fought to steady myself.

Smelled... like iron.

Footsteps passed me- the other Umamusume, all panting, all exhausted as well. Footsteps approaching, squelching in the mud. Familiar hands. Noelle.

“Legs.” She demanded. She was not asking me, she was telling me that she was going to look at my legs. It was more of a warning to not kick her in the face as she quickly checked for signs of injury. “Okay... Nothing’s broken. That was a nasty fall. Is everything okay?” 

“I’m fine,” I lied, pushing against the ground with what little strength I had left. Noelle immediately lent me her shoulder, helping me up. She didn’t even mind that I was covered in mud and getting it on her nice trainer outfit.

And ahead of me, there she was. Immaculate and untouched, still that perfect ice sculpture, barely even winded... Still looking ahead and only ahead. 

“... I guess she wasn’t kidding.” I wheezed out.

“Who?” Noelle asked, her voice somewhat suspicious. Maybe she thought I was still seeing things?

“Air Groove- I can stand, Noelle, it’s fine.” I was on shaky, mud-covered legs. I’d given myself a nasty scrape on my arm from my fall, but that was the worst of it. Today’s soft turf was a blessing and a curse, then. “Air Groove... warned me about her.” I gazed over at Admire Groove.

“... She beat everyone else by something like nine lengths, by my reckoning.” Noelle sighed out. “Still... Third’s not bad for your first race, huh? Try not to hurt yourself next time, though.”

Not bad for a first race, she said, leaving the other part unspoken- that I already should have done more.

I shook Noelle off of me and walked up to Admire Groove. I ignored the mud caked on my legs and arms, the pain telling me to stop and rest- only for now. I had to talk to her.

“Admire Groove,” I said. She didn’t even turn to face me.

“Hey.” I insisted. “Look at me.”

Slowly, as though with great reluctance, she turned to face me- No, not even that. She turned her head just enough to give me a sidelong leer, which felt like she might’ve frozen me solid right then and there- but I grit my teeth and endured the cold.

“You’re stronger than I thought you’d be,” I said, letting that madness creep back into me, just a little bit. I had to. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to endure that gaze which had instantly judged me as beneath her notice. “You’re truly strong, that I acknowledge... But that only makes you a worthy rival for the Overlord’s Heiress!” My mouth split open into a mad, cackling grin as I pointed directly at her. “You may have won today, but I will beat you, Admire Groove.”

There was a long silence between us. She looked me up and down.

“... I don’t need that. Bye.”

She turned away and walked off, leaving my bravado frozen and shattered with just a few words.

“Hey, Joie!” I heard Tojen Lily run up behind me as I stood still as a statue, issuing my rejected challenge into empty air. “You okay? You took a bit of a fall, there...”

“No...” I trembled, desperately fighting back pain, tears, and overwhelming embarrassment. “I’d just made a declaration of rivalry, and she just... rejected it? You can do that?”

“Ah, jeez...” Lily laughed. “What about me? You beat me pretty handily today, y’know?”

“I guess.” I sighed out.

“See?” I turned to see Lily wearing a pained smile. Had she slipped too? “You’ve got something to be happy about, at least.”

I glanced across the crowd to see Zenno Rob Roy, being consoled by her trainer. “What about Rob Roy...?”

“Tenth.” Lily said plainly. Yikes. “Just behind me.”

“Well, I guess this was a longer run than we’re used to...” I frowned. “I really need to work on my stamina, huh...?”

“Same here.” Lily nodded. “Hey, maybe we could go swimming together? It’ll be fun!”

“I don’t think swimming for training is the same as swimming for fun, Lily.” I laughed.

But hey. Maybe we could make it fun anyway.

Maybe that would make this horrible feeling of shame go away.

Notes:

surprise! i had one more in me (which i'm as surprised about as you probably are). next chapter really isn't done yet, though, so if it goes up, it'll be because i couldn't sit still after releasing this one.

-----

This race has no real-life counterpart, and it wouldn't have counted towards official race records regardless. It had 12 entrants.

1st: Admire Groove
2nd: Maine Samuel (9 Lengths)
3rd: Joie de Vivre (1 1/2 Length)
...
9th: Tojen Lily
10th: Zenno Rob Roy (Head)

Chapter 12: She Knows

Summary:

"A-a-a chance like this is once in a lifetime... Am I even worthy of this honor?! Oh, this is too much! Asfjhgsk;jsbfj!!!!1!1!"

It was a glorious Saturday morning in heaven on earth. Agnes Digital had made her proper supplications at the shrine in her room, cried tears of joy that she could continue attending Tracen Academy- even if she had to be ever-so-careful not to defile the air of her precious umamusume with her own unworthy breath, it was worth all of the effort. She put in the work, and she reaped the results. She bowed one more time before her shrine in thanks.

Just yesterday she had seen the best practice concert. Well, most people would have called it the worst, but Digital was getting ahead of herself- The reason she considered it the best was probably the same reason that the unenlightened would consider it a disaster. Joie de Vivre, that shining angel who had descended from the heavens, faced off against Admire Groove in a practice match- and already, Digitan saw the potential! That cold kuudere personality, shunning Joie de Vivre’s earnest declaration of rivalry... Agnes Digital couldn’t ask for anything more! She saw the frost flowing from Aruve’s eyes falter for just a moment as the wild, shining sun broke through- but only for a moment. Oh, how Admire Groove longed for a rival, or maybe something more... but no, it wasn’t to be! She stood alone in her palace of ice, she didn’t need anyone else...

And then after the practice race, came the practice concert! A trial performance of Make Debut! Admire Groove took center stage, as beautiful as ever- but as soon as the music started, Joie de Vivre completely froze! Sure, from a choreography point of view, that was pretty much the worst thing that could happen, but it was such a perfect illustration of her other side!

That vulnerable angel, the proud midday sun one moment, and the shy sunset the next... Agnes Digital wanted nothing more than to pat Joie on the head and encourage her to do her best! 

Of course, she would never do that. That would involve laying hands on an umamusume, and that was completely disallowed.

And then, despite the difficult race she just ran and that rough fall she took, when her line came up, Joie de Vivre bolted off of the stage with unreal speed! Digital couldn’t have asked for a more potent demonstration of Joie’s amazing acceleration and maneuverability as she sped away from the stage!

Of course, it was a little awkward afterwards, because nobody really knew what to do after that, and Joie’s trainer wound up substituting in for her trainee just so the show could go on and everyone else could practice their coreography. It wasn’t really the same, but oh well.

Sure, the other trainers present mocked Joie for her stage fright, but it was alright- Agnes Digital, the enlightened one, made sure to educate them as to the error of their ways. That shyness was a key part of Joie de Vivre’s overwhelming appeal! She had big shoes to fill as the Heiress, and she tried so hard to live up to the legacy of TM Opera O- Agnes Digital had seen her training schedule (or, rather, reverse-engineered it), and she wouldn’t have wished that routine upon her worst enemy! Yet, Joie de Vivre took it all on willingly despite her fears, to live up to the expectations of her mentor! Her passion was expressed in her racing, and her timidity on stage... So if after all that she faltered, who could blame her? Let they who have never stumbled throw the first disparaging remark!

Agnes Digital was particularly proud of herself for that. Those trainers had apologized and acknowledged her latest oshi’s hard work and bravery, and Digitan had successfully protected Joie’s good name. All in a day’s work for the world’s greatest simp!

But alas! Much as her rituals of fan-chants and supplication nourished the soul and fostered good karma, they did nothing for poor Digitan’s mortal vessel. Heaven as this may be, it was still heaven on Earth, and that meant having an earthly body to take care of if she wished to continue her most righteous mission. That meant having to leave her room and venture to the cafeteria for breakfast... but that, too, was a place of worship, for everywhere in this holy land tread her sacred umamusume.

Though, what did strike Digital as a little strange as she prepared to leave was how her roommate had already left before Digital had even woken up. Normally, Tachyon would never be up this early.

Agnes Digital shrugged. Tachyon did whatever she wanted, and it was not the place of humble Digitan to question her whims. 

Digital left her dorm room in good spirits, skipping down the hall (though obviously not at such a speed that she might accidentally break the dorm rules) until she got to the staircase- though, as she drew near, she noticed an Umamusume standing by the stairs...

Joie de Vivre herself?!

Agnes Digital quickly assumed her position of observing respectfully from a distance. Agnes Digital had just gotten done with her morning prayer of thanks, and she had been thinking about Joie... Was this the result of her good Karma? Had the goddesses blessed her with another sight of Joie de Vivre and her fellow umamusume? She looked like she was waiting for someone. Perhaps it was TM Opera O? Oh, the wistful glances, the flicking of her ears and tail, the gentle batting of her eyelashes... The gentle sigh that escaped her lips. Her ennui, her dark past... It all weighed so heavily upon her. The world was a cruel place, to have cruelly treated such a beautiful umamusume with such... cruelty... Hmm, she was reaching semantic saturation. Was there a better word for that? Digital would have to look in a thesaurus later.

That brief distraction aside, Agnes Digital continued watching Joie de Vivre. Her sunset-gold hair, her beautiful violet eyes that twinkled as though the whole galaxy had dyed her pupils in their hue... Eyes that were... staring right at Digitan.

And now she was walking. Towards her. Joie de Vivre was approaching Agnes Digital. Holycrapholycrapholycrap- Digitan sent the alert signal to the little mini-Digitans in her brain and activated emergency measures- an Umamusume was approaching! What should she do?!

Freeze in place? Capital idea! We’ll get right on that!

“Um... Agnes Digital, right?” Joie de Vivre asked, complete with her trademark hesitance. A reluctance to embarrass herself, to get anything wrong where someone else could see it, as though she might crumble to dust if she did- even something so trivial as the name of this unworthy soul before her.

“hwaaaah???” Agnes Digital squeaked out, more or less involuntarily.

“Is... that a yes?” Joie tilted her head as though to examine Digital from another angle.

“Eeeeaaauummm- Yes! That’s me! Digitan at your service! What can your humble servant do for you?!” Agnes Digital snapped straight upwards, saluting Joie de Vivre as though by reflex.

“Please don’t do that.” Joie winced. “Look, I um...” Her gaze flicked to the side, and she started fidgeting with the edges of her skirt- she only ever did that when she was nervous, which was most of the time. A blush slowly bloomed on her face and her ears drooped forwards. “I need to... ask you something. Can you, um... Goddesses, this is embarrassing...”

Agnes Digital’s brain refused to process the information in front of her. A girl was blushing and fidgeting while failing to maintain eye contact. In Digitan’s books, that was classic coding for a crush- a display of reluctant affection, the precursor to a confession. However, the context for this was way off- for one, such a confession would- should never be directed at herself.

This created something of a ‘divide by zero’ error. Agnes Digital had never encountered a situation like this before. On one hand, the evidence of her eyes was undeniable, and she had somehow tricked an umamusume into falling for her. How, she didn’t know, because she was very careful not to interact with her beloved umamusume in any way that wasn’t as a fan. On the other hand, it was impossible for this sort of thing to happen. It just was, and Agnes Digital refused to examine why she thought that was the case. This was fundamentally incompatible with the rest of her beliefs, though, because that meant telling an umamusume to her face that she was wrong, and not only was that against her code, but also just... a really mean thing to do when someone confesses to you? 

On the other other hand - a theoretical third mutant limb - was this not the most forbidden of the forbidden loves...? Perhaps Digital could give it a chance, see how- No! It was forbidden for a very good reason! Fans are never to grow parasocially romantically attached! Such is the path of darkness.

Joie de Vivre was talking, but Agnes Digital was staring at her hands and processing this dread revelation. She held in her unworthy, grimy, otaku hands the fragile heart of a maiden in love, and the weight of her responsibility was immense. She didn’t so much as register the words that passed by her ears- her brain was already completely overwhelmed with this quandary. How could she do this in a way that didn’t break poor, delicate Joie de Vivre, while maintaining the otaku code?!

“I am extremely flattered, Joie de Vivre, but I cannot accept your request. While I understand your feelings, it is my strict duty to remain apart from Umamusume, and only engage as a fan. I sincerely hope that my callousness has not hurt you.” Digitan gently explained, though she pronounced it as, “ashjkf;lkasdfjkl;asf;djlkssbnbhsbleeeehhhhhhh”

Then her eyes rolled back in her head and she collapsed.

=====

When I approached Agnes Digital, I wasn’t sure what to expect. What I definitely didn’t expect was having to carry Agnes Digital to the infirmary because my question made her faint.

Yesterday was... more or less a complete nightmare. A worst-case scenario. In all the stress and fatigue and embarrassment of having lost the race and thrown myself into the mud because I couldn’t keep it together, I had somehow fumbled even worse when I was on the stage. All of those hours in the dance studio with Opera had failed me utterly, probably because I wasn’t the one doing the singing back then. I started to worry if my singing voice was even remotely in tune, or if I could even sing at all... And then when the music started, I was completely paralyzed. I couldn’t remember the lyrics or choreography at all, and everyone was looking at me- well, it was only a couple dozen people, but it was still enough to completely overwhelm me, and I bolted.

Poor Noelle had to sub in for me, and I could only imagine how embarrassing that was for everyone involved. I had made a complete and utter fool of myself. I wasn’t looking forward to the snickering faces I’d find in class on Monday, and I could barely even bear the thought of talking to Noelle, Lily, or Opera about it.

Zenno Rob Roy had found me sulking in a corner of the library after the fact (still in my performance costume), and for a mercy, she was understanding and kind as always. She suggested that I find someone else to practice with who was more experienced with the music... and when I struggled to find the name of someone who I wasn’t presently dreading having to talk to again, Zenno Rob Roy recommended her friend Agnes Digital.

It made a strange amount of sense. As a self-professed ‘super-simp’ who had probably listened to Make Debut more times than I’d eaten bread in my life (including my former life), Agnes Digital would certainly be an authoritative source, if nothing else. She even lived in my dorm, and I had a rough idea of where to find her- I just had to get up early enough and wait where I’d collided with her all the way back in January - A strategy that I wished I’d thought of back when I had to get rid of her stupid manuscript. There were way too many close calls where Peaceful World came dangerously close to seeing it, and despite her track record of having done nothing to mess with me yet, I wasn’t in the habit of giving people free ammunition with which to ruin my life.

Digital was also.. Well, she wasn’t a friend of mine, but she was one of the few people who I felt like she was... unambiguously not a rival? No matter what I did, she didn’t seem to judge me at all for it. Despite how strange she was, her gaze made me less uncomfortable than most people’s because there was no risk at all of her going behind my back and selling information about me to a rival, or spreading malicious rumors about me, or... any other dozen betrayals that I could think of.

It probably wasn’t really a healthy thing that some part of me still carried that distrust and applied it even to the people who I was closest with, but I wasn’t terribly interested in contemplating that.

In any case, I had waited patiently by the stairs. Sure enough, Digital arrived, and I was in the middle of asking her if she could help me practice for Make Debut when she started speaking in tongues and suddenly collapsed. My first instinct was to assume she’d been possessed by an evil spirit and the radiance of the Heiress had caused it to writhe in agony, but I quickly dismissed that thought as a flight of fancy. So it was that I had carried Agnes Digital to the infirmary (instead of to Matikanefukukitaru’s room for an exorcism).

“Hmm...” A Tracen Academy nurse tapped her chin as she looked over Agnes Digital’s still, near-lifeless body. I could almost see her laying on a morgue table rather than an infirmary bed. “I don’t see any fractures, bruises, or injuries of any kind. She seems perfectly healthy- maybe a little dehydrated?”

“Well, it’s good to know she’ll be okay...” I sighed. “I was just in the middle of asking her a question when she suddenly collapsed.”

“Maybe she has low blood sugar?” The nurse hypothesized. “Either way, she should be fine. Feel free to-”

“Gyeyyeaaaaaghhghg!!!!” Agnes Digital suddenly rose from the dead with her arms raised forward like a zombie, startling both myself and the nurse. Maybe I should’ve gone with the exorcism after all?

After a moment of silence where I felt quite silly, I tenuously asked, “Um... Digital, are you-”

“I’M SORRY!” Agnes Digital almost immediately placed herself into a full-on dogeza on top of the bed, which was impressive considering she was previously in a sitting position. “I can’t! I absolutely can’t! I’m so so so so so so sorry-”

“Hey, um, slow down-” The nurse nervously interjected. “What’s um...” She looked helplessly towards me for answers, though I was just as confused as she was.

I decided to venture a guess. “Is this about-” Whatever I was about to say evidently didn’t matter, because I was interrupted again and my train of thought was obliterated.

“There’s absolutely, positively no way I can return your feelings! There’s no excuse for Digitan to offend you so- Hand me a blade, I shall-”

“Let’s not get carried away!” I held up my hands as my face widened in alarm. “I just asked you for help with my dance choreography- if you’re busy, it’s not that big a deal!”

“Eh?” Agnes Digital looked up from her prostration with a blank look on her face.

Another awkward moment passed.

“Oh, phew.” Agnes Digital flopped down on the bed as some invisible weight was lifted from her shoulders. “That’s a relief.”

What the hell did she think I was asking her?!

“I, um, er-” Agnes Digital reformed into a solid and sat on the bed normally. “Are you... sure you want my help, though? Surely there are...”

“You know exactly how bad my situation is and how much I need the help, and I don’t have anyone else to turn to right now who I can currently bear to hold a conversation with.” I was tired of beating around the bush and just laid it all out on the table for her. Part of me already regretted this- speaking to this girl was exhausting.

Something about what I’d said seemed to make Digital’s tail stand on end for a moment as she glanced around furtively. As she started holding her chin in her hands to think, I started wondering if I’d made a mistake.

“Okay,” Agnes Digital nodded, a resolute grin on her face. “There’s no way I can turn down such an earnest request from an umamusume. My wisdom, such as it is, is at your service.”

The poor nurse still looked like she had no idea what was going on. “Well, um... if everything’s okay, then I suppose you’re free to go?”

“TO THE DANCE STUDIO!” Agnes Digital announced, leaping onto her feet and pointing at the door. I grabbed her by the collar and held her in place as she attempted to run off (she damn near yanked my arm off in the process, though). “Stop jumping to conclusions already. I know for a fact you haven’t had breakfast yet. We’re getting that first, they’re serving Omurice.”

“... TO THE CAFETERIA!” Agnes Digital corrected, and then sped off as soon as I let go of her.

...Sheesh. What a handful. To think she was my senior...

-----

“Okay, so,” Agnes Digital started, placing some kind of wireless speaker on a stool. “I should proooobably preface this by saying I’m not really a music instructor, but... I would be the most black-hearted villain in the world if I turned you down!”

Luckily, one of the studios didn’t have anyone registered for practice for a few hours, which meant it was fair game for us. Agnes Digital and I would have to make the most of the time we had here.

“Right, so!” Digital turned towards me with a giddy leer that put me on the back foot. “What kinda vocal cords are you packin’?! Let Digitan hear your angelic voice~”

“Um-” I stammered, not really sure how to answer the question. “I have... a normal voice...?”

“Oh, sorry!” Agnes Digital backed up a bit, fiddling. “What I should’ve asked is, uh... what’s your vocal range?”

“Eh?” I replied to the question with a blank stare.

“Ummm-” Agnes Digital seemed to be processing what to do with the information that I didn’t have this information.

“Is this supposed to be something I’m already supposed to know...?” I laughed nervously.

I could almost see something like a ‘now loading’ circle spinning above her head as she tried to figure out how to phrase this question in a way that didn’t make me sound stupid.

“So um... Did your trainer not help you find your singing voice?” Digital asked me.

“Er... Trainer Noelle lets Lily and I take care of that stuff, since she’s a foreigner, so she doesn’t know japanese quite well enough to be confident with that, and she's not really a singer herself...”

“Ooooooh, Tojen Lily-chan? Your teammate? The two of you left alone, to practice and-” Agnes Digital got excited for a moment, but shook her head as she remembered she was on a mission here. “Okay, um- so... did Lily-chan not help you find your singing voice, then...?”

“Er...” I blushed. “Well... I’ve been... kind of busy with training for the track. Lily’s asked me a few times if I want to practice with her, but I’ve always been too worn out to really get much done...” I wasn’t lying here. The training regime I was on was exhausting. At the very least, I almost always went to sleep the moment my head hit the pillow...

“Ooookaaaayyyyy...” Agnes Digital scratched her chin. “So, um... what about your dance instructor...?”

“Oh.” Right. The mandatory dance class. “Um... I usually get through that by, um... Showing up for attendance and... sneaking out when nobody is looking...” 

“Y-y-you’ve been skipping dance class?!” Agnes Digital looked at once appalled and enamored as she leaned towards me with her hands on her cheeks. “Oh, you’re so shy that even that’s too much for you... Classic Hajidere- Er- Ahem!” Shaking herself out of her moe-induced daze, Agnes Digital tried her best to look authoritative. She stood on the tips of her toes and held a scolding finger up. “It’s, um, my duty as your senior, to inform you, um...” 

Agnes Digital started sweating as she trailed off. “Okay, I’d be a massive hypocrite if I told you not to skip class because I usually spend all of my class days doodling or reading yur- umm, comics,, but you really shouldn’t skip on that stuff, y’know!”

“I, um...” I was starting to sweat as I realized just how badly I’d screwed up. “I’ve been, uh... sneaking in more training instead...”

“But what better training is there than seeing cute umamusume up close? Watching them sing and dance, watching from the sidelines as they belt out their songs, appreciating all of the little imperfections in their delivery before they get ironed out...” Agnes Digital giggled as she started daydreaming, though the (thankfully censored) thought bubbles over her head popped as she made a realization. “W-w-wait, does this mean that you haven’t done any practice at all?!” 

“That’s not true! I was there for Opera’s practice all the time!” I scrambled to find a way to justify my extreme negligence of this aspect of my career. It was definitely because I was confident I already remembered all the songs from practice with Opera, and not because I would rather die than try to sing in front of a class full of my peers! “I already know the material! It’s fine! Ahahahaha-” I laughed nervously, not even believing my own lie.

“That’s weird, I didn’t see you there...” Agnes Digital tilted her head in confusion.

Erk.

“Aha, well, I was um, in a disguise, so, you probably, wouldn’t have recognized me,,,” I desperately tried to piece together something believable, instinctually backing up until I hit the wall behind me.

“Joie.” Agnes Digital adopted a somber face, placing her hand on the wall above my shoulder, leaning in to whisper quietly. “It’s alright. I already know.”

“Eeeehhhh?!?” I shrieked. How the hell did she know?!?!

“It’s to my great shame...” Digital held up her hand over her heart, bowing her head. “But I overheard you and TM Opera O discussing the matter one day.”

Shit shit shit shit what do I do she can’t know how do I hide a body NO DON’T THINK ABOUT THAT YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DO THAT

“You used to be...”

HOW HOW HOW HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW

“A poor, homeless umamusume before Opera found you on the street and took you under her wing!”

 

what

 

“I heard it all. What your parents did to you, a precious umamusume... It was unconscionable, unforgivable! But... your indomitable spirit survived regardless! You have in you the resilient soul of a survivor of true hardship!” Agnes Digital’s eyes lit up with sparkles as she overflowed with pure, unadulterated admiration. “But the Overlord’s boundless kindness- ‘I shall take you under my wing, and one day, my light shall flow through you, my Heiress...’ She trained you in secret as her successor, away from your prying eyes to escape your abusive upbringing!”

 

... w h a t

 

“But your father was shown the error of his ways and left you his fortune on his deathbed, hoping you would get into Tracen Academy and follow your dreams... But I can’t blame you for not wanting his help! You’ve tried so hard to make it this far on your own, without anybody else... But you’re among your fellow umamusume, now, Joie! You don’t need to stand by yourself anymore!” Agnes Digital beamed, backing up as she started gushing again. “That lonely heart of yours will surely find a rival one day, for you to stare longingly into one another’s eyes...”

I slid down the wall as my head overheated. That was way too close.

“Aasjdshd- I’m really, really sorry, I really didn’t mean to overhear you talking about it... but I promise promise promise that I’ll never EVER tell anyone else! I will take this secret to my GRAVE. In fact, I make a vow here and now that even under threat of torture, Digitan shall never relinquish your secrets! To do so otherwise would be to break the sacred otaku code of honor!”

For how dangerously close she was to the truth, this was also pretty close to the complete cover story that the student council had cooked up for me. In fact, this was probably a better cover story...

“A-And I’m sure you’ll get your memories back one day, too-” Hrk-

“Don’t-” I jumped to my feet and seized Agnes Digital’s hands. “Don’t say that out loud! Nobody’s supposed to know about my missing memories...!” I hissed out.

Agnes Digital squeaked in response. Shit. I’d scared her. Now I felt awful.

“I- Sorry... It’s just... a really sensitive topic, and-” As soon as I let go, Agnes Digital flopped to the floor again.

“She... She touched me... I... Ahaha, This is too much for Digitan...” She mumbled out, drooling on the floor.

Oops.

 

-----

 

I knew this time that I just had to wait for Agnes Digital to wake up again, though if I’d waited, then we might wind up blowing through a bunch of time, and we only had so much before someone else arrive in the studio. Following a hunch as to how to expedite her recovery, I hit Play on the wireless speaker, and an instrumental version of Make Debut started playing. Like clockwork, Agnes Digital was almost immediately on her feet, having pulled a pair of lightsticks from somewhere (I wouldn’t have been surprised if she kept those on her at all times) to start cheering me on. As soon as I was sure she was up, I hit stop again.

“Okay, it was my fault for getting too close...” Digital mumbled, blushing furiously. “But it’s against my code to ever, ever touch an umamusume! Absolutely! Forbidden!” Agnes Digital held up her arms in an X.

“Aren’t you an umamusume too?” I pointed out with raised eyebrows, fully expecting this to go nowhere. It wasn't like she didn't already know.

“I’m a simp!” Agnes Digital huffed. “I follow principles! Simps never touch their oshis!”

I then realized that resolving this girl’s cognitive dissonance was actually the lowest thing on my list of priorities today, right below ‘slamming my face into a wall repeatedly’ and ‘visiting my old house’, so I dropped it there.

After thoroughly establishing that I was starting from absolute zero, Agnes Digital fiddled with her phone until she found a basic note scale to sing along to. I had no idea if I was hitting the notes correctly, but it helped that she harmonized with me whenever she could. She noted down the lowest note I could hit, and the highest note I could hit.

“Hmm, I think you’re a Mezzo-soprano like me...” Digital tapped her finger on her cheek. “But you’ve got a really impressive range! If this is just your natural talent, then you could probably sing in whatever register you wanted with some practice! Ooh, what if you recorded a song twice, so you could do a duet with yourself, in two different registers... Two Joies...!” Agnes Digital started giggling and daydreaming again.

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing I’m a natural talent,” I laughed awkwardly, knowing that I was in all likelihood a supernatural talent, and the Goddesses had seen this coming and backfilled several years of singing practice for me. 

“A natural prodigy in racing and in singing... Afhlaskdha, you’re just the perfect umamusume...!” 

It still felt strange getting praised, especially for something that was beyond my control, but at least I knew that Digital wasn't buttering me up for something.

“Right, so, um... I think we still have some time left. Do you want to help me memorize Make Debut, now...?”

“Okay!” Digitan held both thumbs up after wiping away a nosebleed. Just what was she imagining...? No, no, I didn’t want to know. “I’ll set up a teleprompter so you know what your lines are!”

“I guess I’ll take position one, and you’ll take position two... It’s a shame we don’t have someone to fill position three.”

“Ehh?” Agnes Digital looked up from her phone. “I’d assumed you were gonna practice all three...?”

“But then, you wouldn’t have anything to do? I still need to practice the choreography, and I can’t be in all three positions at once.”

“I, um-” Digital fidgeted. “Right! Practicing the lyrics and the choreography at the same time would be more efficient than separately!”

I had the feeling that she thought this was a dumb idea but couldn’t bring herself to disagree with me.

“Plus,” I held my fist to my chest as I grinned to reassure her. “I don’t need to practice for the other positions. I plan on coming in first, every time!”

Digital’s gaze of giggling admiration was punctuated by her whispering, “Gap moe...”

As Digital finished up the preparations for our practice, I took my place in the middle of our imaginary stage and took a deep breath to center myself. This was another thing I was going to have to practice nonstop and get it right- it was one thing to humiliate myself at school, but it would be unacceptable if I were to freeze up on stage. I’d be the target of public uproar and mockery... Just the idea of it made me not want to try at all, to try and figure out some way of competing as a racer without doing the singing. Japan’s URA was the only racing association to do this, after all- hell, if a foreign singer won the Japan Cup, then it was well within their rights to decline to do the concert (even if it’d be suicide for your image)...

But I remembered TM Opera O’s words. What she admired in me was my courage to overcome my fears. If I chickened out now, if I fled Japan just so I wouldn’t have to battle against this fell demon, would I not be breaking that oath I made to the sun? No. I would fight this battle. I would become the Heiress. The crowd would not be a forest of eyes waiting for me to slip up, they would become my loyal subjects, eager and ready to hear their beloved ruler's voice.

I believe it to be so, therefore it is true.

 

I opened my eyes as the music started. I was on stage, in front of a throng of onlookers. Agnes Digital was to my right, and a phantom dancer to my left. The song began.

“♪Echo forth, Fanfare~!♪” I commanded, alongside my two loyal retainers. “♪Sprint on! Towards the goal I race! The two of us will soon see a future full of shining stars!♪”

Put our hands together as we make our pledge, and raise them to the sky. Digital and our phantom did the same, though instead of a hand, I saw an oversized sleeve from my left.

My part first. Keep the dance rhythm as I sing. “♪All it takes is one step, and we’re ready to start our story. It’s always been right there just waiting for us~♪” Every syllable, I poured all of those repressed emotions into, belting out the words from deep within my chest.

Digital’s part. “♪Another race at hand, a chance to claim my true glory~♪” She seemed like an entirely different person on stage, her usual neurotic-obsessive demeanor replaced with a confident smile. She too put on a mask for the crowd.

Third position. The phantom to my left sang. “♪Take aim for victory and let’s challenge... I make my mad dash towards the goal~♪” Her voice was soft, barely above a whisper, even while singing. Ethereally beautiful, as suited a phantom like her. 

Me again. “♪The goddess of victory will surely smile up above-♪”

Positions two and three interrupt me, and I step back. Feign frustration as they sing together. I barely have to feign it- the spotlight belongs to me. I earned this. “♪A special tomorrow will come into view!♪”

All together! “♪Make Debut!♪”

The crowd roared as we launched into the chorus. “♪Echo forth, Fanfare! Sprint on! Towards the goal, I race! The two of us will soon see a future full of shining stars!♪” I let hope swell into my heart as I started to truly believe in the song’s message- I understood why we did this, now. I knew the reason, but I knew why umamusume loved singing so much- It was a celebration of our dreams coming true. "♪Go on, make the track your own, as you traverse that winding road!♪”

“♪Go!♪” Point to my right. “♪Go!♪” Point to my left. “♪I believe-♪”  Point front, and raise my gaze to meet the sky.

“♪Our dreams lie up ahead!♪”

 

And just like that, it was over. We were back in the dance studio. I was sweating and panting, but I had done it. I could sing.

“Afghakdhasj- THAT WAS U-U-U-UMAMAAAAZZIIINNNG!” Digital immediately gushed. “I put on the short version because, um, I thought it’d be easier to s-s-start with but- You nailed it! First try! No notes! Your singing voice is so p-powerful and emotional, I thought I was going to die from moe overload...!”

“But of course!” I grinned widely. “Projecting one’s voice only comes naturally to the Heiress!”

“And you!” Agnes Digital turned to the phantom, now clad in a Tracen tracksuit. “So, quiet, but so cute and-”

Wait, I wasn’t imagining her?

“EHHH?!?” Digital and I both yelled at once as we realized that there was, in fact, a third singer who had participated with us.

“How did you- We put the sign on that says- Did we-” I sputtered, completely thrown out of my groove by the sudden appearance of this girl. “Wait, you’re-”

I realized then that this was the girl that had followed me the other day. “You’re the mystery umamusume?! You followed me here?!” I shouted in outrage and alarm-

But at the same time, Digital gushed, “Neo Universe?! One of the up-and-comers for the Classic Crowns next year?!”

We then both turned to each other and pointed, shouting, “You know her?!?!?!?!”

“‘EXVL’...” the mystery umamusme, whose name was apparently Neo Universe, covered her ears with her hands as she muttered some cryptic acronym. “Neo Universe will suffer “signal loss”...”

“Ajflsajfga- I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry!” Agnes Digital backpedaled.

“You startled us!” I doubled down, not finding it within me to apologize for shouting at someone who snuck up on me. “I, well- I guess you must be allowed in here and you’re not just a stalker, but wait your turn to use the studio!” Just to make sure I wasn’t making a fool of myself, I quickly checked the time- Yep, we had two more hours before someone had this place reserved.

“... Stalker?” Neo Universe tilted her head to one side, the spiraling ahoge on the top of her head bobbing around like a spring. “... I have been in “Orbit” around you. I wished to observe the 『Anomaly』...” Her expression was extremely difficult to read, but a faint frown formed and her eyebrows raised slightly as though to express regret. “... Did that make you ‘UNCF’?”

I took a sharp breath out of my nose to express my frustration. “Speak clearly if you’re going to apologize!” I barked. “Or are you just trying to make fun of me by using language I can’t understand, calling me an ‘Anomaly’?! Well, you’re not funny!”

Neo Universe shrunk back and lowered her head. This time, Agnes Digital spoke up, wheeling around to insert herself between myself and her. “Hey! Don’t be mean to Uni-chan! Her difficulty speaking is part of her Kuudere charm, a-and besides, it’s suuuper cute when she makes up acronyms like that... ‘Excessive Volume’? ‘Uncomfortable’? I knew karma would reward me, but today’s like all my birthdays at once...! O Goddesses, you spoil Digitan soooo...” Aaaand she was a puddle on the floor.

A puddle with a point. I was being rude for no reason. Again.

“... She’s right, those were hurtful things to say. I shouldn’t have done that.” My shoulders fell limp as I slouched out of my defensive posture. “How about we both apologize and start again?”

Neo Universe straightened back up and nodded, her expression shifting to a faint smile. “‘Affirmative’. Neo Universe『Regrets』causing you to be ‘UNCF’.” She bowed forwards.“My『Name』is “Neo Universe”.”

I had gathered that much- No, Joie, be nice! “Nice to meet you, Neo Universe, and I apologize as well.” I bowed in turn. “My name is Joie de Vivre.”

Neo Universe stood up straight again. “ “Joie de Vivre”... Is your『Name』?”

Again, the way she said that made it feel really important, though I was starting to get an inkling that she was talking about something else entirely.

“... ‘Affirmative’.” Neo Universe nodded, as though recognizing something important. “You received it... in an “Impact event”?”

Uhhh.

I wasn’t sure what she meant by that, but it sounded a whole lot like she was implying my name collided with me, rather than it being given to me... Which was uncomfortably close to the truth. For the second time since entering this studio, I started wondering just how much the person I was talking to knew about me.

“‘Classified’. Neo Universe understands.” My hesitation was enough of an answer for her, it seemed, especially since I saw her glance down at Digital. “‘GIVU.’ Neo Universe’s... ‘TYVM’.”

I glanced towards Digital, hoping for another translation, but she was still on the floor giggling deliriously. I was on my own... “Um... you’re welcome? I’m sorry, what are you thanking me for?” My head was starting to hurt, trying to piece together what she meant. I didn’t know it was possible for someone to be this difficult to communicate with, but now that I’d calmed down it didn’t seem like there was any malice at all in her strange words.

“You have gone beyond the role of “Monitor”, and “Made Landing”. Because of you... “Apollo 13” can be a “Mission Success”.”

I just stared at her blankly. Monitor? Apollo 13? I had no clue what she was talking about. Seeing my confusion, Neo Universe elected to slowly, gently, bring out her phone in order to illustrate her point. “I will bring... “On screen”.”

I bent over to look at the headline on the phone, over a stream of a URA press conference. Even just seeing one made me instinctually uncomfortable, but I suppressed that feeling so I could read the title- and Agnes Digital finally peeled herself off of the floor to look at it as well.

 

Agnes Tachyon announces her return to the Twinkle Series!

 

“WHAT?!”

=====

“And I intend to start with the Takarazuka Kinen in June. Any questions?”

The press were shocked- of course they were! The dead silence in the auditorium soon erupted into a thunderous roar of a hundred reporters all shouting over one another to be heard. It was a lie to say that Tachyon missed these moments, as affairs like these were usually enormous wastes of time... But her cute little guinea pig had insisted that she needed to make this a public announcement to build up ‘hype’, rather than just surprising everyone (her competitors included) by showing up at the gate unannounced like she’d originally intended.

“Agnes Tachyon! What about the injury that led to your indefinite hiatus? Has your trainer found a way to heal it?!” One reporter said- Tachyon recognized this one, Otonashi something or other. Tachyon had never officially announced that it was an injury, but the press had made their guesses... The truth was that they were correct, but with her renewed passion and attention, Plan A had finally come to fruition, and Tachyon could race knowing that her legs would carry her to her destination. They would carry her beyond what was possible.

They didn’t need to know that, though. “I don’t recall ever saying something like that.” Tachyon giggled enigmatically. She liked it when they guessed- an inquiring mind was a good thing for a reporter to have, after all, so she encouraged it. “I’ve simply decided that now is the correct time for me to make my return.”

“What about your trainer?!” Another question, different reporter. “How will you work together after such a long absence, or do you intend to find a new one?”

“Trainer Watanabe has been eagerly awaiting my return, so I feel no need to find a replacement gui-.” Oops, she was rusty, almost let that slip. “- Trainer. Rest assured, she has already proven her abilities a dozen times over. I look forward to working with her again.”

“How badly do you expect your racing ability to be impacted by such a long hiatus?!”

What an obvious trap question. Did they think she was a complete fool? “If there was any impact at all, I dare say that I have only improved since then. Did you think I had been resting on my laurels?” Of course, they didn’t need to know about the months-long depressive state she had endured upon the apparent failure of Plan A - as well as the brutal rehabilitative training that was necessary for her to return to her peak performance. Thanks to Marie, she was truly better than ever. Tachyon wasn’t in the habit of feeding lies to the press, after all.

“Agnes Tachyon! Do you have anything to say to your competitors?”

What a convenient question! The one thing that would’ve made all of this worthwhile is if Tachyon had an opportunity to give this exact reply. She’d have to thank that reporter later... Tanaka Ryota, was his name? She wouldn’t remember that. She’d just look for the reporter with a frog sticker on his press pass and a fancy camera.

“Now’s your chance.” Tachyon grinned widely, holding back laughter as her eyes gleamed with prismatic light. 

“Come, challenge me. Defeat the Phantom Triple Crown... If you can.”

Notes:

my writer's soul knows no rest. the muses sing to me and i must listen.

i do not plan on doing another scene with transcribed lyrics again, i think this was sufficient to make my point

i went with the english translation to match the pace of the song, rather than the literal translation.

also, Marie Watanabe cameo! thanks noiku :)

regardless, very fun chapter to write

next chapter is the debut :)

-----

NOELLE'S NOTES ON JOIE DE VIVRE

-Height: 145 cm
-Weight: Supposedly burned a lot of it off.

Chapter 13: Out of Time

Summary:

I have to win.

Notes:

TW: Self-Harm Ideation

The day had come.

Noelle and I had made every preparation we could. Down to the last minute, I had been working tirelessly to improve my running, and what days weren’t spent training were spent in the studio practicing. I might have Goddess-given natural talent, but I wasn’t going to risk screwing it all up now. Not after that disgraceful display on the practice track.

My signature racewear had arrived only the other day. What few moments of free time I had were pretty much entirely dedicated to figuring out what I wanted out of it. In retrospect, I felt a bit silly for calling Opera’s fashion boyish, because it was fairly close to something she might choose to wear... but it just felt appropriate.

Of course, I wouldn’t be wearing it for the race. This was only a debut. But I needed to have it ready for the winning concert. It sat in an unremarkable-looking black garment bag, which I neatly packed into a small suitcase, along with my track clothes and some other essentials.

Behind me, Peaceful World was doing much the same. The two of us didn’t interact much - I had thought for a moment that she had gotten the message that I didn’t want to talk to her that much, but after she slammed the lid shut on the briefcase she’d stuffed her belongings into, she sat down on the bed. “So, I’m guessin’ from how you’re packing up all serious-like... your debut race is today?”

“Yes, it is.” I answered matter-of-factly.

“Sick.” I heard Peaceful World kicking her legs back and forth behind me. Probably playing with that stupid ball. I ignored her, and stuffed a pair of water bottles into my suitcase. This was only a day-trip, so I didn’t need to pack a lot, but I didn’t want to be caught unprepared. “Where’s your debut?”

“Kyoto.” I answered again, matter-of-factly. It wasn’t my first choice, but our debut races weren’t really chosen for us. We picked a week, and the URA would hand us a date and time for us to show up alongside a dozen other unproven racers. We weren’t proven racers yet, and we didn’t have fanbases yet. We’d get to start picking and choosing after we earned the privilege.

“Woah. Same here.” Peaceful World raised her tone ever-so-slightly. “What time’s your race? I might come and watch.”

“What, so you can make fun of me?” I snapped.

“... Man, what makes you think I’d do that?” Peaceful World groaned out. For how much she rubbed me the wrong way, it remained true that she hadn’t really done anything to earn my dislike of her... except hog all the space in the room, and the stupid lightshow every night, and the constant smell of patchouli... Still, maybe I should at least try to understand her.

“... 10:55 in the morning.” I conceded. “I guess I might as well watch yours too. When is it?”

“... Uhhhhh...” Peaceful World’s tone grew uncomfortably drawn out. “So, um... this is awkward, but...”

-----

It was really happening.

Debut Race

A real race. With real competitors.

Kyoto Turf (Right), 1400 meters.

Some part of me just... felt like training was what my life was. That I’d keep doing this forever, running circles on a track every week. Maybe I’d have preferred that.

Early June- Sunny weather, Firm going

But... this was what I signed up for. It was what I wanted.

“First position! Peaceful World! She is the second favorite today to take center stage!” A voice crackled across an announcement system, followed by polite clapping, and a few cheers. 

A JRA official had walked me through the process- We would present ourselves on the paddock for the crowd to look at us, and then head through an underpass down to the racecourse itself. Fairly standard stuff. Since this was our debut, we were encouraged to give a few words about ourselves- keep it short, since we weren’t the main event today. Thirty seconds at most. There wouldn’t be that many people watching.

There would still be people watching.

“Second position! Mountain Chateau, twelfth favorite!” Once again, polite clapping, and a few cheers... Those umamusume probably had friends and family cheering them on, even if they had the dubious honor of being the twelfth favorite in a race of twelve. Who the hell did I have? Just my trainer? Uuuugh.

Tojen Lily was busy preparing for her own debut race- we’d lucked out and it was on the same day, which made it easier on Trainer Noelle, who had already been working herself to the bone for us. Lily... wasn’t confident about her chances, but resolved to do her best anyway. And here I was, trembling before I’d even stepped out onto the paddock.

“Third position! Pisano Beauty! Fourth favorite of our racers today!” A bit more hooting and hollering that time. Was she really that good-looking? As if it mattered in a race...

I fiddled with the number on my chest as I waited my turn in line. I was running out of time before I got up there. I had to figure out something to say... But I was already busy trying to concentrate on the smell of the takoyaki stand, rather than the gazes of the half-dozen umamusume behind me.

A URA official gave the signal to the girl in front of me, and she trotted out of the curtains. “Fourth Position! Storm the Bastille!” More applause. I could faintly make out her saying something, over the trumpets playing over the speakers, but that wasn’t important. Shit. I’d already messed it up. I should- No, goddamnit! Just-

“You’re up.” A man in a JRA uniform grabbed my attention. 

I walked through the curtains that I had seen Opera through so many times, and emerged from a dimly-lit hallway onto a small stage in front of a sizable crowd.

“Fifth Position! Give a round of applause for Joie de Vivre, today’s favorite to take it home!”

... Today’s favorite. Right. I just needed to act like it.

“I greet you all!” I took in a deep breath, smelling the admiration in the air. “This shall be the beginning of my illustrious career as the Overlord’s Heiress! Don’t watch too closely, or you may be blinded by my brilliance!”

Having addressed my subjects, I strode past the stands and gave a confident, easy smile as I waved to them. The demon within me screamed that the flashing lights and staring eyes were those of the vultures- the ones who wished to tear me apart and feast- but what could they do to the Heiress? I would simply give them no material to work with.

In the crowd, I spotted a few familiar faces. My Overlord and her Knight, both here to cheer me on and encourage me- as well as my most ardent supplicant, waving around her lights so as to weave for me a spell of victory-

I was under the overpass whew

It wouldn’t be entirely accurate to describe what I was doing as deliberately invoking that side of myself. I'd experienced that heightened state more than enough times to get a feel for what triggers it- the euphoria of running, or the joy of song... But I could spark that flame, so to speak, by thinking about Opera, and her infectious enthusiasm that bordered on madness. That very feeling that had caused me to make my vow to the sun- that very feeling that got me into this whole mess. That love of life that I used to have to borrow from her.

I just had to pour fuel on that fire, and all of a sudden, everything became so much easier. I could talk to people without being afraid of what they might do when my back was turned. The world became a brighter place, and I became a brighter person. If I just kept it as a little candlelight throughout the day, I could smile and converse with a perfect stranger instead of lashing out at them for no reason like I usually did. I could walk down the hallway without feeling like I was being struck with knives every few steps.

But... It was so, so easy to feed that fire too much. If I slipped even a little, my little candle would become a roaring inferno in my hands. My imagination blurred with the world around me, I’d lose sight of what parts of me were real and what... wasn’t. And it got dangerous if I lost control during a run. The roaring wind would fan the flame into a frenzy, even if I did nothing to feed it...

Running footsteps behind me, and it wasn’t the clatter of cleats on concrete. “Joie,” Noelle called out as she caught up with me inside the orange-beige underpass tunnel. “Checking up on you before you get out there. Are you good?”

Noelle was perceptive enough to notice when I was doing this, and she really didn’t like it. We hadn’t talked about it yet, but she’d probably figured it out that first time I did a partner run, back in March, and she’d always pick up on it whenever I was feeding that flame. It wasn’t especially subtle, after all.

“I’m fine. I just had to put on a bit of bravado for the paddock, is all.” I smiled nervously. I still couldn’t bring myself to snuff that flame entirely right now- If I did, then my agoraphobic side would emerge from the darkness in its absence, and compel me to flee this place entirely.

Noelle took a deep breath. “Okay. But we’re going to have a talk after the race, alright? Now get out there and knock ‘em dead.”

“It’s a race,” I laughed, “Not a deathmatch!”

“Figure of speech.” Noelle shrugged, before trotting off down the tunnel ahead of me (presumably to get to her seat in time). 

I returned to walking down this quiet underpass towards the track, the clatter of cleats ahead of me and behind me the only things that broke up the silence.

I emerged from the tunnel and onto the turf.

1400 meters on the outer track of Kyoto racecourse. A long uphill at the start, a short downhill, and flat from there to the end. Noelle and I had already discussed when the best time to break out of the pack would be- Right before the final straight. The long stretch of straight turf, plus my excellent acceleration and top speed, meant that I was all but guaranteed to take this home.

The only problem I could foresee was the unknown variable. Peaceful World.

She was walking lazily along the side of the track, taking her sweet time in getting to her position. We were starting at the far side of the track, and there were still a good number of racers in the paddock to get through, so maybe she figured there wasn’t a rush... I wasn’t even walking that quickly, and I was passing her.

Any notions of friendliness were out the window. She was my rival... and I also had no idea what her capabilities were. She was the second favorite, so she was who I had to beat.

“Hey there.” She waved at me as I passed her. I was of half a mind to ignore her, just in case she said something before the race to mess with me, but for whatever reason I decided to humor her.

“What do you want?” I said, not slowing down my pace- she’d have to pick up hers if she wanted to talk. I wasn't going to be a slacker like her.

“Whoa, someone’s in a hurry...” I heard her trot a bit to catch up to and start walking beside me. “Just figured I’d at least say ‘hi’ before the race starts. We’re roomies, so...”

“Do you think I’m going to take it easy on you just because of that?” I shot her a glare.

“I’d be insulted if you did.” Peaceful world sniffed. “Look. I just wanna say, no matter what... No hard feelings, okay? Only one of us is gonna walk away with the number one spot. That’s just how it is-”

“So what you’re saying is that I should get ready to accept defeat?” I scoffed.

I heard her click her tongue in annoyance as she scratched her head. “Ugh. Y’know what, forget it. I tried.”

She disappeared behind me as she stopped matching my pace. I kept walking. I wasn’t going to let what she said get to me... Even if what she said was pretty much objectively true. It was the nature of the beast. If I won, then that would mean I’d be making Peaceful World’s career harder. If she won...

She wasn’t going to win.

I approached the gate. Other Umamusume were filtering in. It’d be time soon. It was my last chance to do stretches, center myself...

I took a deep breath.

=====

TM Opera O took her seat in her private booth next to Meisho Doto. Oh, how she wished to be among the adoring masses so that she could share her light in person- but it was far safer for both her and them to be apart! Twisted, cruel irony...

Despite her busy schedule of tutoring and studying along with her obligations to the Dream League (and also the work of putting in for a new trainer- Thankfully, Doto’s trainer was more than accommodating), Opera had made a special effort to make time to see Joie de Vivre’s debut race. Even were the world to be offered to her on a silver platter - an absurd notion that made Opera chuckle to herself, for she already ruled it, after all - Opera would have declined!

Still, though, part of her worried. She desperately wanted to believe in Joie, but... A light as bright as the Centurial Overlord’s would also cast deep shadows, and Opera could already tell that a good number of the other racers were fixated on Joie de Vivre due to the public attention that Opera’s patronage earned. The judges had all determined Joie to be the favorite to win based on her physical abilities, though that lackadaisical roommate of hers wasn’t too far behind- and over half of the competitors had all but mentioned Joie de Vivre by name.

‘I’m from a small town- my humble origins won’t hold me back!’ ‘I might not be in the spotlight, but I’ll work hard to make sure you pay attention!’ - Innocent remarks like that often belied a heart steeped in envy, for they invited comparison to the favorite. One’s humble origins... as opposed to privilege and nepotism. Hard work... as opposed to having everything handed to you.

They may have been fabrications- Opera knew well how much Joie de Vivre had sacrificed to get this far, but a narrative was already forming around her.

It had taken until partway through TM Opera O’s classic year before her competitors started truly taking her seriously... And now, Joie de Vivre was going to suffer that same baleful gaze that TM Opera O herself had to weather. Joie de Vivre was already being taken seriously, and it wasn’t even entirely under her own control.

Opera could only hope she was ready for it.

=====

“The first of two debut races is about to begin! There’s a promising lineup today, so I’m hoping to see a good race!” A commentator’s voice echoed out, bouncing off of the lake’s waters at the racecourse’s center.

“I’m looking forward to seeing this so-called Heiress in action! I’ve heard a lot about her, and she’s today’s favorite to win! All eyes will be on her!”

Ignore them. Tune out the commentator. Whatever they’re saying can’t be more important than the race.

It’s fine. You're going to win this. It smells like...

The last gate clattered into place. The last umamusume had entered.

I would make for the rail. Stick behind the front, five lengths, wait for the corner and break out of the pack. Conserve your energy and then burn it all at once. Easy plan. Opera could do it in her sleep. You trained her, right, Joie? So you know how to do it.

So make your hands stop fucking shaking already.

A hush had fallen over the racecourse. It would start any moment now. The candle wasn’t enough. Focus on that joy. Embody the Heiress.

The gates clattered open without warning.

Late start. Minor setback. I could still do this. I pushed against the ground- a late start wasn’t ideal, but it wasn’t a disaster either, with my strategy. Position 1- that was Peace. Nowhere to be found. Behind me? Doesn’t matter. Position 3 is making a break for the front. Let her pass, then overtake positions 2 and 4. Get to the rail.

I’m there before the uphill. Good. Maneuvering sideways on an incline would take up more of my energy. Just... conserve pace.

Positions 7 and 10 were in front of me- 7 directly ahead, 10 behind her and slightly to my left. That’d make getting out difficult. I scowled. Not an ideal-

Position 4 moved up next to me.

“How’s it going, Princess?” Storm the Bastille said to me. Talking was a waste of energy in the middle of a race. What was she doing-

She was getting blocked in. 10 was directly ahead, and 9 was right beside her- Wait, if that was her situation, then mine was-

“You’re-” Realization dawned. “You’re blocking me?!”

“No hard feelings, Princess...” Storm the Bastille’s glowering eye brought time to a crawl as the incline started. I realized just what my situation was.

A towering wall made of bodies surrounded me, moving alongside me as I thundered down the track. I was trapped. The sky turned black as my heart sank, and Storm the Bastille’s mouth cracked open to utter the words that would destroy me.

“But I’ve gotta beat you.”

=

Position 1 was basically the worst-case scenario for Peace’s end-closer style. Her trainer had suggested frontrunning, but Peace felt more comfortable riding the curve and going way to the outside on the final stretch to just go around everyone. This meant hanging at the back of the pack and letting everyone else pass her, more or less giving herself a late start on purpose just so she’d have free reign to stick to the back and get a good position to watch the poetry unfold in front of her.

What she saw wasn’t really poetry. It was more like a funeral dirge.

Joie de Vivre’s vivid, intense poetry flared out in volatile blacks and deep violets with spikes of neon-yellow that seemed to dig into her skull. Fear had overtaken her completely. Even on this incline, she accelerated and decelerated erratically to try and probe the defenses of her captors, but it was useless. There were 7 other bodies in the pack, and even being small and maneuverable, Joie de Vivre would be risking a crash trying to weave through them all. Disqualification at best, career-ending injury at worst... She burned herself the brightest out of everyone, but it was all for nothing.

Peaceful World really did not understand Joie de Vivre. The girl plain just didn’t like her for a reason Peaceful World could not understand- Sure, Peace hadn’t made the best first impression, but despite her every attempt to reach out to Joie de Vivre and try to be a genuine friend, Joie had continued to be hostile. It had gotten to the point where Peaceful World had completely given up hope for a friendly relationship- even the last olive branch she’d offered before the race was slapped out of her hands.

That didn’t make watching this any easier. Joie’s panic mixed with sweat mixed with tears. Her face was contorted and ugly and desperate, in a way that completely clashed with the dismissively indifferent expression she usually wore.

Peace had her own life to worry about, though. It wasn’t her responsibility to save Joie from the hole she’d dug for herself, especially not if Joie was just going to snap at her again for it. 

Peaceful World leaned right as the track curved downhill. She had to just look forward.

=

“Joie de Vivre is looking rushed! She’s trying to break out of the pack before the final turn, but there’s no opening!”

Noelle could barely stand to watch. Her trainee was dying out there. It was only for her trainee’s sake that she didn’t avert her gaze or cover her face to hide her shame. Noelle racked her brain, trying to figure out how the hell she’d failed her trainee like this- Joie was an amazing runner, especially for someone who had only started this year. The fault had to be Noelle’s somehow- she should have seen this coming, or devised a better plan, or- something! They’d been over her Late Surger strategy a dozen and one times, how did Noelle not see-

A moment of realization struck her.

Had they both just assumed that Joie would be good as a Late Surger, just because Opera and Doto were?!

=

Exhaustion tore at my lungs and legs. It felt like I was wearing weights around my ankles and running in mud, like the ground itself was swallowing me up- maybe if I’d had the energy, I’d be literally imagining that happen to me, but all I could see was an incoherent haze.

My flame had gone out. Not even a guttering candle was left.

I vaguely recognized it when we turned the final corner. I saw a blur in the shape of Storm the Bastille pull away - Now was my chance, but... I just couldn’t urge my legs to move any faster.

Was this it? Was this what all my training was for?

I wanted to refuse. I wanted to shout and scream and roar and defy reality itself to pull a second wind out of nowhere and blow away everyone else on the track. I wanted to pour fuel on that inner fire until the whole world burned. I wanted to listen to that primal part of myself that told me that I belonged at the front, and move heaven and earth to make that into reality.

But... I just knew it wasn’t possible.

I’d fucked it all up.

I was a failure.

“Peaceful World! Peaceful World takes it with a stunning run from the back of the pack! What incredible power!”

I really wasn’t worthy. All the blessings in the world couldn’t change that.

Nothing had changed at all. 

More and more of my rivals crossed that finish line. It felt like I was miles away, and I could only reach out my hand helplessly as more and more slipped through my fingers. Every single foot across the finish line was like a stab wound in my gut.

Fifth. Sixth. Seventh. All of these places were gone. Already filled.

When I finally reached the finish line it was as the twelfth one to do so, nine lengths behind eleventh place. Dead last.

Willpower and momentum were the only things keeping me upright, and those fizzled out the moment I was over the finish line. I collapsed to my knees, my hands on the ground. I couldn’t tell if what I was feeling was shock or despair. It just felt... empty.

I couldn’t even bring myself to cry, as though tears would be wasted on a being as pathetic as me.

The commentators were saying something. Someone was saying something, the other umamusume around me... I didn’t care. I just... wanted to curl up and wait. Wait for exposure or deprivation to consume me, because I didn’t deserve a fate any less wretched for my failure.

One voice did cut through that haze.

“I told you, Joie.” Peaceful World. I didn’t so much as look up. “You’ve set yourself up for failure.”

“Don’t feel bad. You’re just not the Heiress you thought you were.”

A spark.

The fire ignites. 

Rage- Burning, white-hot rage engulfed me. Finally, tears started flowing from my eyes as I finally registered all the pain- My heart ached with the sting of utter humiliation as I stared at the ground as my shitty fucking roommate mocked me.

My fingers curled around the earth under me, digging in and prying loose chunks of earth. My fury screamed at me to answer an insult in kind, to stand up and whip a hunk of soil in her stupid smug smelly stoner face. 

Instead, I scream and cry as all of my emotions pour out of me in a torrential blaze.

-----

I looked like shit.

My Signature Racewear sat in a bag in the corner of the room, left unused. Part of me wanted to just throw it in a fucking dumpster, but that wouldn’t help anything. Noelle sat next to it. She wasn’t able to look me in the eyes. She seemed to be thinking about something. 

Tojen Lily, meanwhile, was putting forth her best attempt to use her makeup skills to cover up the fact that I’d spent the last four hours intermittently bawling my eyes out, but try as she might, she couldn’t hide my puffy eyelids, bloodshot sclerae, or tangled hair. Well, the hair could at least be handled by a brush.

She wore a backup dancer’s outfit, too. Her concert would go on after mine, just like her race went after mine. She came in tenth out of twelve. She was the twelfth favorite.

I bitterly marveled at the irony that people would congratulate her for that performance. After all, she did better than expected, unlike a certain someone.

“Well? How does it look?” Lily offered, trying to sound as cheerful as she could without coming off as insulting.

“I look like how I feel.” I deadpanned, my voice hoarse and bereft of energy.

“Well, um... if it makes you feel better, you’re going to be part of the backup, so people won’t be looking at you?”

“It doesn’t, thanks.” I snapped.

Ugh. I’m the worst.

Lily could only offer a pained look as she put away her makeup kit. “Well... there’s still an hour or so before the concert. Maybe some Yakisoba would help you feel better?”

“I doubt it.” I mumbled out. “But I guess I’m hungry or... whatever. Give me a minute to brush my hair and I’ll be right out.”

Sensing that this was her cue to leave, Lily picked up her bag. “Trainer?”

“Yeah.” Noelle stood up. She shuffled up behind me and reached out to put a hand on my shoulder, but hesitated as she saw my dead-eyed glower in the mirror. “Joie... We’re going to figure out where to go from here, alright? Let’s not let this be the end.”

I couldn’t muster a response. As the two of them opened the door, I heard a shuffling of feet, someone stepping back into the room. I didn’t turn my head to look. 

I saw in the mirror as TM Opera O wordlessly sat behind me. I couldn’t bear to look at her face.

The two of us sat there in silence for an agonizing moment. It was torture. I wanted her to stand back up, smack me, yell at me, berate me for my failures, pick me up by the fucking collar and throw me against the ground and kick me because it was all I fucking deserved.

She just... sat there, in silence.

“I’m sorry,” I finally squeaked out, as the dam broke again. Fresh tears flowed out over the makeup Lily had just put into place to cover the old ones- More proof that all I touched turned to ruin, that every ounce of energy spent on me was energy wasted. “I fucked it up. I disappointed you.” My hands clawed at my face, trying to shove my emotions back into my eyes-

“No,” Opera finally spoke. “You disappointed yourself.”

TM Opera O’s arms wrapped around me from behind. She rested her chin on my shoulder, as glistening tears traced twin paths down her cheeks. “You were finally given a chance to walk a path of your own choosing- to run as you please, for no-one’s sake but your own, and you have come up short. You have come this far, and done what no other could... but you still find that it is not enough.”

“The failure is mine. I ought to have been there. I ought to have seen the signs of your suffering, and worked to ease it.” Opera’s embrace bound me to the chair like a vice. “Please, do not blame yourself. It pains me so.”

The sight of Opera’s tears somehow hurt more than the crushing embrace she was giving me, but I endured it without complaint. For TM Opera O, for my guiding light in this world, I would endure any pain.

“... I’ve failed you.” I mumbled out, my hands lowering and placing themselves gently upon hers.

“You have failed, yes,” Opera’s voice was low and steady. “But please, do not tell me you have forgotten? We have endured that feeling before. You needn’t endure it alone.”

“... How can I...”

“There will be another race, my friend.” Opera’s violet eyes in the mirror stared into my glittering-star-filled pupils - pupils which seemed like a mockery, given my sorry state. Her own eyes had already recovered, once again brimming with energy, with resolve. “There is nothing more you can do for today but rest- so please, do so. If not for yourself, then for those who are concerned for you.”

“It’s a waste...”

“Whether or not they waste their attention on you is their own concern. If that is their wish, then let them do so.” Opera interrupted me.

Right. Much as I’d spent five years getting to know her and how to handle her, she spent five years learning how to handle me. I quietly wondered how many of these conversations we’d had after losses where I felt like I’d failed her, and she had always assured me, without error, that I hadn’t.

“... okay.” I managed. “Let them know I’ll... just be a moment. Thank you.”

Opera withdrew her embrace, though she gave me a long look of concern before she stepped out of the room...

And there I still sat in that chair, looking completely pathetic. How the hell was I expected to just... get up and move on? It felt like the world had ended, and I’d have to just put on a happy face and smile and wave and dance like nothing happened? That I’d just have to accept that I was a complete and utter fuckup, that my career had just gone down the drain and taken my dreams with it?

What a fucking idiot I was. The Triple Tiaras were a complete impossibility. I should’ve listened- So many people told me that I wasn’t ready. That I should wait, that I should spend a year training, that my debut should be postponed, but for whatever stupid fucking reason I just couldn’t!

I stood to my feet, my fist raised. I wanted to smash the image of this pathetic mockery of an umamusume in the mirror, feel the glass shards dig into my hands as I plunged them into my chest to carve out this rage that stuck to my ribs like tar. 

Because the worst part was how angry I felt about all this. That some part of me still felt like I hadn’t deserved what happened, that it wasn’t my fault. I wanted to scream and shout and smash things, I wanted to blame this on Storm the Bastille, even though she only wound up coming fifth and she was probably coming to terms with her own failure. I wanted to blame this on Peaceful World, imagine that she’d muttered an ancient curse of fuck-up-your-race, as if she was some sort of evil fucking wizard.

This anger made me feel ugly. It made me feel like the scum of the earth. It wanted to lash out at the world and destroy everything around me.

l i k e  h e  d i d

And so my first instinct was to turn it inward. I wouldn’t lash out and hurt people no matter how badly I wanted to, no matter how much I did so anyway like the monster I am, and the only thing I’d be hurting would be myself-

The mirror clattered slightly as my fist collided with it in a soft ‘thunk’. I knew better than to do any of that. And I didn’t have the energy anyway.

I drew in a rattling breath as I fought to contain my emotions. It smelled like powdered makeup and sweat.

I grabbed my brush and I got to work like I said I would. These knots wouldn’t untangle themselves and I’d just look like more of a disgrace going out on stage looking like this...

This anger would continue to stick to my ribs like tar. It would linger whether I wanted it to or not, even if it made me an ugly person... So I might as well use it. Boil the tar down into fuel. Turn it into something productive.

Peaceful World’s words echoed in my head- not just the ones I’d heard today, but the ones that had been rattling around in the back of my brain ever since she’d said them to me.

‘...coming in like a hothead thinkin’ you’re going to take the world by storm is a great way to bounce off the ceiling...’

She was right. I did bounce off of the ceiling... this time.

Next time, I’d shatter it.

Notes:

This race is vaguely based on Peace of World's real-life debut race, which took place October 05, 2002, in which Peace of World came first as the number 1 favorite. Peace of World's real debut race took place on dirt, which wouldn't work for Joie! Obviously, I took extensive creative liberties - in this race she did run as a front runner, but for the purposes of this fic, she's a End Closer, so...

-----

NOELLE'S NOTES ON JOIE DE VIVRE

Focus - Slightly decrease time lost to late starts.
X - Panicked in the Pack: Waste a significant amount of stamina when boxed in mid-race.

Chapter 14: ... But Time Keeps Marching On

Summary:

"At least she threw all of them into the recycling bin... Man, the fruit flies are gonna love this, huh?"

Well, that was it. Peaceful World had made her debut in style- and sure, plenty of people were happy about it. Her parents, her trainer, the new friends she’d made here at Tracen academy... But even with all of those layers of golden dye over her fabric, it didn’t change the fact that it’d already been stained black.

She partied hard, ate her Takoyaki, and exchanged smiles aplenty. She sang Make Debut in center stage- A relatively mellow performance, as befitting her dreamy, relaxed demeanor. But after all the festivities were over and it was time to get back home, there was a creeping feeling of dread that gnawed at her.

‘Don’t feel bad. You’re just not the Heiress you thought you were.’

She’d meant those words as another olive branch, along the lines of ‘you’re not who you thought you were but you can be someone else’. That sort of thing. Watching Joie during that race legitimately made her feel bad for the girl, but once again, Peaceful World’s tendency of speaking without thinking had gotten her into hot water. It was abundantly clear Joie hadn’t taken them the way Peace had meant, from the way she’d immediately broken into tears afterwards and showed up to the performance barely able to muster anything more than a dead-eyed stare. Maybe it would’ve been better for Peace to have said nothing at all? Or at least not phrased it like that.

She hesitated in front of her dorm room. She didn’t want to have the conversation that awaited her inside... But she’d avoided it as long as she could. If she loitered any longer in the hallway, then Fuji would come around to scold her, since lights-out was soon.

It couldn’t be helped... Not unless Peace wanted to sleep on the common room couch or something.

Peaceful World fumbled with her key. She preferred a physical thing to an electronic doodad, even if it wasn’t as convenient... There was just a satisfying tactility to sliding the teeth of the thing in, feeling the resistance of the springs inside, and it all quietly clicking into place as she turned the key to pull back the bolt. It was these little things she preferred to take pleasure in at times like these.

What greeted her was not the familiar smell of patchouli oil, but the astringent smell of chemical air-freshener. Joie de Vivre was presently in the middle of running a string between two of the hooks Peace had put on the wall- though her head immediately locked on to the door as Peace entered.

Here we go.

“Hey, uh-”

“Don’t.” Joie de Vivre’s poetry flared a dangerous mixture of low, smoldering reds and blacks. There was an indescribable, viscous quality to her aura that Peaceful World had never seen before, and it immediately put her off-balance. It felt like getting too close would cause a gnarly, sticky burn.

“I wanted to-”

“I don’t care.” Joie de Vivre interrupted again. Peaceful World cringed back a little bit. She’d seen Joie annoyed with her before, but...

“... Apologize,” Peaceful World finished her sentence. “What I said was... pretty lame of me...”

There was a long silence that only ended when the door limply swung closed behind Peaceful World.

“Are you done?” Joie de Vivre’s tone wasn’t that of someone asking a genuine question, more like someone curtly making a demand. “Good.”

This was an extremely delicate situation, and Peaceful World couldn’t afford to say anything rash, so she tried to figure out what to say- but she wasn’t given much of a chance, because it seemed Joie de Vivre was intent on filling the dead air with a barely-restrained tirade.

“In the interest of not making Fuji’s life harder than it has to be, we’re going to have some rules from now on.” Joie de Vivre explained.

“Hey-”

“First rule is, don’t talk to me, and I won’t talk to you, since clearly we have nothing productive to say to one another.” Joie bulldozed any objections Peace might have had. “Second rule is, if you leave anything on my side of the room, it’s getting thrown out. I’d expect the same from you, but I don’t plan on cluttering up your space. You do a great job of that yourself.”

Okay, she could understand why Joie was mad at her, but that was uncalled for. Peaceful World glanced at Joie's desk- and sure enough, it was entirely absent of the dozen or so mason jars full of candy-to-be that had previously lined the wall. What a waste.

“Third,” Joie said before Peace could open her mouth again. “If you stink up the place, then I’m airing it out, even if it’s winter. I’m tired of all my clothes smelling like the dumpster at a perfume shop.”

Peaceful World opened her mouth to start defending herself, her eyebrows furrowing slightly in indignation- but she realized quickly that anything she could say here was a losing play. This was a trap, designed to wear out her patience and get her to snap back. Joie was going out of her way to say deliberately hurtful things, staring directly into Peaceful World’s eyes with the calculating glare of someone who wanted you to be mad at them. She was asking Peace to start a fight, to spit back, to insult her, to throw hands- any excuse to escalate things further and force Fuji to intervene all while Joie played the part of the victim.

Peaceful World had quietly hoped that Joie’s hostility was just a byproduct of stress and she’d mellow out over time, since it seemed like she was the kind of gal who had a lot going on... But it seemed now that Joie’s previous attitude was her trying to be friendly and failing. This was what she was like when she was unfriendly- a poem of wounded pride, corrosive envy, and aimless wrath. What she was seeing now was Joie's true colors, and Peaceful World had never seen an uglier thing in her life. And yet, it just... made her feel sorry for the gal. It made her wonder what sort of horrible life Joie must’ve led to be this maladjusted.

“Lastly,” She said, “This curtain’s so your stupid lightshow doesn’t bother me while I’m trying to sleep. Kindly leave it alone.” The string she’d put up was, indeed, for a bedsheet she’d repurposed into a dividing barrier. The hooks on the wall bowed slightly with the weight of the thing.

“Do we understand one another?” Joie finished.

“... Yeah.” Peace said, nodding numbly. Without another word, Joie pulled the curtain taut, obscuring her side of the dorm room.

What Peace had really wanted to say was that clearly, they didn’t understand one another at all, but that wouldn’t have helped anything.

=====

Zenno Rob Roy hadn’t seen Joie de Vivre in two weeks. Normally, this wouldn’t really be her concern- Rob Roy didn’t really like to insert herself into other people’s business if she didn’t need to, and she’d just assumed that Joie was busy after her debut.

... But it was that very debut that made Zenno Rob Roy worried. Trainer Yasuda had used Joie’s debut race as a teachable moment for Rob Roy, illustrating the risks of debuting before one was ready. She’d agree to wait just so Trainer Yasuda wouldn’t show her that video again. It was hard to watch...

And it made Rob Roy worried that Joie might’ve just left without saying anything. A defeat that humiliating would make anyone want to quit. Rob Roy didn’t know Joie well enough to be truly sad about it, but she’d still miss having someone else to talk to about history.

But all that looped back around to why Zenno Rob Roy was out here by the track this close to curfew. Joie had taken a book out of the library right before her Debut, one about the Trojan War- and in those two weeks, Joie had not returned to the library a single time, even to bring back the book. If Joie didn’t return it tomorrow, then she’d start racking up late fees, so Rob Roy took it upon herself to search the whole school for Joie top-to-bottom today.

She was also very much worried about her friend, and wanted to see her again to make sure she was okay.

Zenno Rob Roy had followed a lead from Agnes Digital. She’d looked conflicted about sharing this; normally, Digital held a very strict no-sharing policy on any information she obtained about others, because she very much did not want to become the school gossip- but she did let on that she’d seen Joie out training at night.

The fact that Agnes Digital even shared at all that made Rob Roy even more worried.

So here she was, in a tracksuit in the muggy evening air, risking a scolding from Hishi Amazon and running alongside the academy’s practice tracks to try and find her friend.

Harsh, fluorescent floodlights lit up the small track. A lone umamusume sprinted down the track as fast as she could... Joie de Vivre. Rob Roy was immediately relieved that Joie was still here at Tracen, and that she was okay, but... she still wondered why Joie hadn’t said anything for two weeks. Had she done something wrong...? She was afraid to ask.

However, it seemed that some other presence noticed her dithering- A rustling of clothing to her left. Rob Roy yelped, half-expecting it to be one of the dorm leaders who had magically tracked her here to berate her for staying out late, but...

Instead, she saw TM Opera O in a tracksuit as well, sitting on the bleachers and listlessly staring at the girl running on the track.

“... Opera?” Zenno Rob Roy squeaked out in surprise. “What’re you...”

“Come, take a seat by my side.” TM Opera O turned her head over, though her speech was bereft of its usual energy. “If you are here for the reasons I think you are, then you have quite some time to wait, and you needn’t stand for it all.”

Zenno Rob Roy mutely followed her senior’s instructions and sat at a respectable distance- a distance that Opera almost immediately closed, making Rob Roy jump a little bit.

When Opera didn’t continue the conversation, the echoing of Joie’s heavy footsteps was all that could be heard. Zenno Rob Roy felt uncomfortable, so she tried to fill the empty space with a question: “Has... she been out here the whole time?”

“If you mean since her debut... More or less, yes.” TM Opera O sighed out. “Despite my best efforts, she yet believes that she has disappointed me. I have labored time and again to open her eyes to the truth, but she turns away from the light each time, as though she thinks herself unworthy. It is a good sign, at least, that she spares the time to listen to my pleas at all.”

Silence again... And Opera’s eyes remained on the track. Only now did Rob Roy see just how tired TM Opera O looked as she watched Joie circle the track. Joie de Vivre came to a stop in front of the two of them. She took a moment to catch her breath... before starting around the track again, not even bothering to look in their direction.

“I saw her debut.” Rob Roy spoke quietly, afraid to be overheard. “It was...”

“An unforced error leading to a series of bad decisions, yes.” TM Opera O glanced at the ground.

That was one way to put it.

“So she’s training for her next race...? How long has she...”

“If you’re wondering why you haven’t seen her recently, it’s because every spare moment has been devoted to her training. I’ve caught her skipping class to get in more running as well. Trainer Noelle doesn’t know about it.”

“Why...?” Zenno Rob Roy trailed off before she could finish her question.

“Because she feels like she has to catch up.” Opera frowned.

Zenno Rob Roy could sympathize with that. Having to postpone her debut ate Rob Roy up inside- maybe it was senseless pride, but... being so far behind her peers when she should be out there just made her wonder why she was even here at Tracen at all. Part of her wanted to be out there with Joie, she couldn’t deny- But right now, Joie’s running was just... uncomfortable. It reminded Rob Roy of that video she’d had to watch- Panting, out of breath, desperate to just keep going despite not having anything left to give.

“I wonder if this is how she felt, back when our roles were reversed...?” Opera mumbled out enigmatically. “How strange it is to be in her position now...” Rob Roy didn’t know what that meant, and didn’t want to pry.

“T-that’s not what I meant,” Rob Roy worked up the courage to correct TM Opera O for answering the wrong question. “I wanted to ask... Why are you helping her do this...? She’s going to hurt herself- she’s probably already hurt herself.”

“... I’m not helping her.” Opera frowned. “I’ve already tried to convince her to rest. Doto’s already tried to convince her to rest... All I can do without involving her trainer- and by extension, the student council - is to sit out here and watch, because if something were to happen and she were left alone out here-”

Joie de Vivre stumbled, and Opera nearly bit her tongue so as to prevent what she was saying from coming to pass. Thankfully, Joie recovered and ambled over to her bag, though she was clearly limping. She stooped down and pulled up her left pant-leg to examine her ankle.

Rob Roy wanted to rush over to Joie’s side and help- but even as she jumped to her feet, she hesitated. One more question gnawed at her. “W-why haven’t you told...?”

“How do you think she would react to being confined to her room right now?”

It was rare to see the Centurial Overlord look so... defeated. She usually radiated confidence, but it seemed that this was one of the few cases where she was truly at a loss. It was all she could do to be here for her kouhai, to watch her make these mistakes until she was ready to admit she was wrong. She was being forced to sit there and wonder when that was going to happen. Inaction ill suited her, but what choice did she have, if she didn’t want to become the villain in Joie’s story?

Perhaps normally Opera would have done exactly that. She’d done it in the past gladly, but there was something holding her back when it came to Joie.

This hesitation gripped at Zenno Rob Roy’s heart, too, but she just couldn’t sit here and watch Joie do this to herself. She’d try her best to get Joie to see reason, in the best way she could think of.

Joie’s ears perked up and she quickly swiveled to look at Zenno Rob Roy as she approached. She looked ready to bolt, despite her injury- she was probably expecting Hishiama or Fuji, but relaxed slightly when she saw it was just unassuming, gray-haired Rob Roy... But she still didn’t relax fully, as though she’d expected Rob Roy to start by scolding her.

Rob Roy put on the gentlest smile she could, though it still felt bittersweet on her lips. “It’s been a bit, Joie! How have you been?”

“... You already know that. I saw you talking with Opera.” Joie’s shoulders slumped down dejectedly. This girl, who was so full of enthusiasm and life, who loved the obscurities and absurdities of the world around her, looked like she had completely lost sight of everything that wasn’t immediately in front of her. Her eyes were foggy and unfocused, heavy bags hidden under messy makeup- Hair that hadn’t been combed for a day, because even that small routine was more time spent more efficiently on something else. She was burning up her love of life, herself, for a chance at reclaiming what she’d lost.

A played-out tragedy. Zenno Rob Roy would write a better story than that.

“She didn’t really say that much.” Rob Roy let herself tell a half-lie just to move the conversation away from Opera. “Have you finished The Iliad yet?”

A brief look of surprise crossed Joie’s face, since that definitely wasn’t the question she was expecting. Sure, Rob Roy was concerned about Joie’s ankle, but... that wasn’t the thing that needed the most attention right now.

“... No. I haven’t. Sorry.” Joie mumbled out, her gaze downcast. “I haven’t even started it... The book’s probably overdue. Sorry to be a bother...”

“It’s no bother at all. I was just curious about your take on it.”

“... You can have the book. It’s in my bag.” Joie gestured to it. “I’m probably not going to read it anyway, so...”

“But you won’t be able to take it out again for a few weeks if you do that!” Rob Roy lightly protested. “Hm... What if we read it now?”

“N-now?” Joie blinked. “Isn’t it... really late?”

“Is it too late for running practice?” Rob Roy lightly, carefully drove a wedge in Joie’s rationale.

“Uh...” Joie’s face flushed as she hesitated, neither willing to confirm that she’d been staying out later than she should’ve been, nor willing to outright lie and claim that she wasn’t breaking the rules.

“What if we just read a chapter and then you go back to practice?” Zenno Rob Roy offered a compromise as she pointed her finger up. “I’m sure you could use the break, right?”

Joie de Vivre carefully weighed her options, and found that just conceding to Rob Roy’s nonsensical proposal spent less energy than refuting it. “... Alright. Fine.” She plonked her butt down on the grass, leaning on the rail post behind her as she fished the heavy tome out of her bag. Her ankle was still exposed to the air- Rob Roy couldn’t see any swelling, at least, so it wasn’t urgent. Good. “It’s in English, though, so... I dunno if...” Joie muttered, as she stared at the cover of the hefty volume. On its cover, it bore a stylized image of a Greek warrior.

“It’s okay,” Zenno Rob Roy smiled. “My English has been getting pretty good! We can take turns reading the passages. It’ll be good practice.”

Zenno Rob Roy sat down right next to Joie, taking one half of the book in her hand as she leafed to the leftmost page.

“I’ll go first.” Rob Roy took a deep breath. “Ahem...”

 

“Sing, Goddesses, of Achilles’ rage,

Black and Murderous, That cost the Greeks

Incalculable pain, pitched countless souls

Of heroes into Hades’ dark...”

 

Zenno Rob Roy trailed off as she felt something on her shoulder. Not daring to move, she glanced over...

Joie had been so exhausted that even the act of sitting down, it seemed, was enough to make her nod off. The Iliad wasn’t the usual kind of bedtime story that people liked, Zenno Rob Roy mused, but Joie wasn’t a usual umamusume.

=====

The 2002 Takarazuka Kinen. That’s what this race was- in spirit, if not in actuality. If this were 2002, then there wouldn’t be a smartphone in the hands of every other person around Neo Universe. An『Anachronism』for the sake of the『Observers’』comfort and familiarity.

She drifted through the crowd, those around her barely registering her presence save for when it inconvenienced them. All eyes were on the turf- Not that anyone could blame them. The『Scientist』had returned, and “Apollo 13” was a “Mission Success”... Maybe this was bound to happen in time, but the『Anomaly』had accelerated things by merely existing.

Nerves at the starting gate. Some competitors had dropped out upon hearing who they would be competing against. Others signed on for a race that was not part of their “Asterism”. It wasn’t just the『Scientist;』 the『Seer』was here too. The『Feral Runner』tried, but injury prevented her. All that meant that the『Silver Medalist』would be denied her one chance at center stage.

It was over earlier than scheduled. Two minutes, eleven-point-five seconds, which had stretched out into eternity in the wake of a “Relativistic Jet”.

The『Silver Medalist』tried, but nobody could possibly blame her for failing to surpass “Relativity”.

“Agnes Tachyon does it! A commanding victory! The Phantom Triple Crown is no longer a ghost story! Her legend continues!”

Neo Universe held conflicted feelings within her heart as the crowd roared and cheered. Everyone was elated, and some part of Neo Universe was also glad to have another chance at hearing the resonance of one of her favorite voices... but that also meant that another voice that ought to have added to the song would instead fall quiet.

Neo Universe had entered an “Irregular Galaxy”. Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing... ‘RTBS’. 

Neo Universe checked to her side for her roommate. She carefully examined her to see which one she would be speaking to- From her wincing expression as she stared longingly at the track, it seemed that right now, it was the『Ghost.』Neo Universe didn’t mind either of them, and would just as happily converse with the『Hunter,』but the two parts of this “Binary System” preferred to be treated in different ways, even if they were the same entity at their core.

““Status Check,”” Neo Universe stated to grab her attention, as people started to filter out of the venue around them..

A slight start at the unexpected interjection. “Ah... I’m fine. Thank you, Universe...”

It took significant “Signal Telemetry” to receive Still in Love’s words. Her “Broadcast” was so weak that she was almost drowned out by random noise.

“That was a lovely race. All of the racers ran beautifully...” Her smile, faint as it was, faltered before it had even fully formed. “I hope that one day, I can run like that...”

There was something missing, Neo Universe had surmised. The『Hunter』was too dormant, the『Ghost』too hesitant... They had almost missed their chance at a debut, doomed to be forgotten by the system itself, until Neo Universe had nudged her back into a proper “Orbit” by suggesting that her own trainer could take on Still as well... but her “Barycenter” was nowhere to be found... Perhaps that, too, was for the best?

Was this because of the『Anomaly』too...? 『He』had no information on her, so Neo Universe’s normal source wouldn’t be reliable. The only way she could understand was through direct observation.

She would have to figure out how to make a better “Landing Trajectory” next time. Maybe ‘ZEER’ could help...

Notes:

I figured it'd be nice to take a break from the inside of Joie's head for now. It's a short chapter, but I figured you all didn't want to wait too long for something at least a little nice to happen...

Chapter 15: Rest

Summary:

"... I just hope that wherever he is, he's okay. That's all a mother could ever want."

Once again, Agnes Digital’s greatest weakness had come back to bite her- her complete and utter inability to refuse the earnest request of an umamusume! Zenno Rob Roy and Neo Universe had come to Digitan last night with pleading faces, saying they needed help that only Agnes Digital could give- That was to say, knowledge of the training habits of one Joie de Vivre.

Now, Agnes Digital was not unused to being used as a possible dispensary for gossip and information, though it was usually trainers who tried to ingratiate themselves to her, because Agnes Digital was very careful to make herself unobtrusive to her beloved umamusume. At all times, she categorically refused such requests- of course it would be against the otaku code to simp preferentially, and that naturally included giving any one person a leg-up in terms of information on their competitors... Plus, it was just kind of a sketchy, mean thing to do? Agnes Digital’s love for umamusume was pure, and her principles were those of absolute love! She would not have those things sullied by becoming someone people went to for dirt on their rivals!

But... Zenno Rob Roy and Neo Universe swore up and down that they were doing it to help Joie de Vivre. Agnes Digital had made them swear three times apiece upon their oshis, and neither of them showed a single sign of wavering, so Digital had to conclude that they were being genuine. Still, she didn’t want to just give out a time and place in case there were confounding factors at play, so Agnes Digital said she would show them to where Joie usually went to practice, and reserved the right to intervene if anything went south! Which was also usually against Digital’s code, but Joie de Vivre was in a very fragile state right now!

The poor girl’s loss at her debut hit her harder than was usual for debut races- It was entirely because of her own astronomically-high expectations for herself, but that just made Digitan want to root for her more. She just hoped that sooner rather than later, Joie de Vivre would work her way over this hill and be back to her usual self.

The first confounding factor was that the bus for summer camp left today, and if Agnes Digital wasn’t careful, she’d miss it- and summer camp was extremely important! Not only was it the best time for her to train, but it was also the best time to see umamusume in various kinds of adorable swimwear, and the best time to put together her King Halo fanzine, and... other various incredibly important things! But it was okay. If she showed these two to their quarry and then ran for the bus, it’d probably be fine! The debut-year students were all staying behind, so they didn’t need to worry.

The second confounding factor, unfortunately, was that when Agnes Digital and her two kouhai arrived at the course, Neo Universe then proceeded to reach into a duffel-bag she was carrying and pull out a giant brown sack, as well as face masks and sunglasses for both herself and Zenno Rob Roy.

“Uhhh,” Agnes Digital asked, “Far be it from me to pry, but... what’s all this about...?”

“‘GIVU’.” Neo Universe offered Digitan a pair of sunglasses and a facemask as well. This did not answer Digital’s question.

“Joie just injured herself the other day, but if she’s still out here practicing, then she’s not going to stop on her own... We’re going to have to make her stop...!” Zenno Rob Roy explained, though it seemed more that she was trying to hype herself up and justify what she was committing herself to. “I-I just hope she likes what we have planned, or... she’ll be really mad...!”

“‘IBOK’,” The flimsily-disguised Neo Universe mumbled enigmatically. “This is the『Certified Classic.』”

This utterly failed to explain at all what these two were doing. Agnes Digital was starting to get the sense that she’d made a-

“Neo Universe sees her. Time to initiate “Docking Sequence”.”

In the time it took for Agnes Digital to remind herself that Neo Universe almost certainly meant something else when she said ‘docking’, she and Zenno Rob Roy had sped past her and thrown the large sack over Joie’s head, who was voicing her objections to this treatment by thrashing around and shouting.

“What the hell do you two think you’re doing?! Put me down! This isn’t funny!”

Oh no!! Had Digitan made herself an accessory to an umanapping??!?!!?!?

=====

I couldn’t believe this.

Light filtered in through the gaps in the burlap sack that my so-called friends had thrown over my head. I had given up struggling- I’d take a bad tumble if I got them to drop me, so I just sulked in the bag. I could feel the motion around me- they were taking me somewhere, I just didn’t know where. I could also hear the muffled voice of Agnes Digital.

“I-I-I Really think- M-m-maybe, um- This is a bit-” Her endless stammering wasn’t really helping things. Of course it wouldn’t; this was already breaking her non-intervention clause enough as it was, and she didn’t have the spine to just tell these two to stop already.

“Excuse me, what on earth is going on here?” I perked up as I heard the voice of one Tazuna Hayakawa, someone who absolutely had the spine to tell these two to stop. Finally.

Hm. Rob Roy and Universe were going faster, now.

“Can you two put me down already?!” I shouted from inside the sack, choosing now as the time to start raising a fuss again so that Miss Tazuna knew I was alive in here.

“It’s for your own good, Joie!” Rob Roy’s voice came, though she was clearly tuckering out. Agnes Digital’s fussing hadn’t gotten any further away, though I could hear multiple sets of rapid footsteps at this point.

“Stop! Stooop! Someone’s gonna get hurrrrt!” Digital’s voice again.

Suddenly, the one holding up my legs- Rob Roy, from my estimation- came to a screeching halt. Neo Universe was forced to stop on a dime, and for a moment I worried I was either going to be pulled apart or dropped on the ground- but thankfully, my spine was just slightly readjusted as Neo Universe’s grip on my shoulders slowed her down.

I chose this moment to flail my limbs around to get these two to drop me on the ground- which worked, and I landed butt-first (which thankfully didn’t hurt that much) and immediately started fighting the sack that had been placed over me to little success. It was swiftly yanked off by one Agnes Digital, and it was then revealed that this entire fiasco had taken place near the central plaza of the school.

Someone definitely saw all this. Ugggggggh.

“Would you two care to explain what exactly you think you were doing- and take those sunglasses off!” Tazuna scolded, offering me a hand to help me to my feet. I begrudgingly took it- I was too embarrassed to be impressed by the fact that she’d apparently caught Rob Roy and Neo Universe.

“We were, ummmm,” Rob Roy’s sunglasses had already fit poorly on her face, competing for nose-room with her actual glasses, so they’d been shaken onto an awkward angle. “Joie’s been... overworking herself lately, so um... We got Digital to help us, um, make sure she doesn’t hurt herself...” 

“By throwing a sack over my head and hauling me off somewhere?!” I shouted in furious indignation. I could see Agnes Digital throwing up her arms in an X and shaking her head violently in the background, as to intimate that she had absolutely nothing to do with this. I narrowed my eyes in response, and she wailed silently under the weight of my scorn.

“I, well, you’re already injured, so I figured, you probably wouldn’t stop unless we...” Zenno Rob Roy trailed off, clearly regretting getting swept up in this. “I-I’m sorry, this was a bad idea...”

“Honestly!” Tazuna clicked her tongue. “Whose idea even was this, and how did you ever think this would work out?”

Zenno Rob Roy unconsciously glanced over at Neo Universe, who was staring at the ground and putting the tips of her fingers together. “Maybe... the『Certified Classic』only works when the『Unpredictable』does it... ‘SORR’...”

“Well...” Tazuna crossed her arms as she huffed through her nose. “You two clearly had your hearts in the right place, if not your heads, and this is the first time you’ve caused trouble, so I’ll let you off with a warning this time.” 

Well. With that settled it was time for me to-

“And don’t think you’re excluded from this either, young lady!” Tazuna then turned her wrathful gaze over to me, freezing me in place as I turned to walk off.

“Eh?! I’m the victim here!” I raised my voice.

“You were heading onto the running track despite an injury? An injury you obtained through unauthorized solo practice?”

Erk.

“It was just a minor sprained ankle, but an injury is an injury, and your job right now is to rest, young lady!” Tazuna’s finger wagged in my face. “What would you do if your injury were to worsen?! How do you think your trainer would feel?!” 

I wanted to curl up my lips and bite back at her- I needed to keep practicing, to keep getting stronger, to keep getting faster, or else I’d never catch up. The way I was now, I’d never even qualify for the Tiaras, never mind sweep them. That chilling performance from Admire Groove stuck in my head, replaying over and over... Even when I slept, the image of Admire Groove and Peaceful World eluding my reach tormented me. I had to keep going, or else my vow to the sun would be broken and...

I didn’t want to even consider what could possibly happen after that. Part of me was afraid that the conditions of my transformation would be revoked. Even the thought made me sick to my stomach.

But despite all that, Tazuna’s scolding clearly came from a place of immense concern, as though she had a personal stake in ensuring my continued wellbeing. I mean... of course my friends and trainer would all tell me to rest. They were obligated to...

... I briefly considered just how stupid it was that their concern somehow meant less to me than Tazuna’s. I’d been a real bonehead over these past couple of weeks, hadn’t I? “... You’re right.” I admitted, sulking. Now all of us here had drooping ears.

“Good. Now that we all understand one another...” Tazuna took a deep breath.

“You three, I’ll overlook your involvement in this if you find somewhere nice to take your friend. Willingly, this time?” Her ‘friendly’ smile somehow felt like more of a threat than her anger. I didn’t envy those three right now... Though, this now placed Tazuna’s forgiveness on my shoulders. If I really wanted to teach them a lesson, I could just refuse them...

“Hajshdlksa?! Digitan’s had no hand in this! I’d never consider committing an umanapping- laying hands on a precious uma like that would be an unforgivable crime! And also, um- I need to go catch the bus-”

“Oh? I could’ve sworn I heard that these two got your help to find Joie in the first place...” Tazuna put her finger on her cheek. “Also, the bus left around ten minutes ago. I’m afraid you’ve missed it.”

Digital mumbled some nonsensical phrase, sounding something like “orz”, as she fell to her hands and knees.

I half-sighed, half-grumbled as I finally got around to dusting off my tail after its altercation with the ground. “So... where were you even going to bring me?”

“I, um, was just following Uni’s lead...” Rob Roy fidgeted. I glanced over to Neo Universe, who was... staring into empty space.

So they actually had no idea where they were bringing me, and were planning on running around town with an umamusume in a burlap sack until they figured something out. Great plan, guys.

“I guess since I’m officially involved now, uh...” Agnes Digital peeled herself off the ground again. “I think I have an idea, actually?”

What, was she going to take me shopping in the backroom of the local manga store? I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what her idea of ‘somewhere nice’ was...

-----

Agnes Digital’s idea of ‘somewhere nice’ was... not what I expected?

“An all-day spa!” Agnes Digital cheered. “And not just that! An all-day spa, specifically tailored to Umamusume! I can repent for my misdeeds this day by treating three of my beloved umamusume to an all-day pampering...” Agnes Digital giggled.

“U-um... Don’t these places usually... have a reservation list?” Rob Roy stammered. I looked up at the building in front of me- It was sleek and modern, and looked really classy. She probably had a point there. This seemed like the kind of place that had a wait list best measured in years.

“I made sure to choose a place that accepts walk-ins, don’t you worry!” Agnes Digital waved her hand. “And now, I get to watch you getting pampered, too... Guehehehe, that makes this worth missing summer camp for...!”

“Oh, no you don’t.” I grabbed Agnes Digital by the wrist, instantly removing any and all ability she had to fight back as the touch of an umamusume overwhelmed her. “You’re not subjecting us to anything you wouldn’t subject yourself to as well. If we’re getting pampered, so are you!” I all but dragged a flailing, wobbling Digital inside as the other two followed me.

Rob Roy suppressed a giggle. I glanced back at her to bark, “What’s so funny?”

“Oh, nothing,” Rob Roy lied, still giggling. “You just have a strange way of showing your appreciation.”

“Joie is ‘TSUN’.” Neo Universe enigmatically remarked with a slight smile.

“... Sh-shut up.” I pouted as my face flushed.

-----

Apparently, the owners of this place already knew about Agnes Digital and were big fans of hers- which definitely made getting treatments for the four of us much easier on such short notice. Apparently, they only did walk-ins for her. Really, it was impressive how Agnes Digital almost seemed like a normal person as she talked to them, though it was clear she wasn’t used to being the one receiving fan attention rather than giving it.

I had to remind myself again that this was an accomplished racer I was looking at. Her personality made me think that she was just enrolled at Tracen purely to leer at cute umamusume, but no, she’d beaten TM Opera O at last year’s Tenno Sho and I’d somehow forgotten until I thought about it... Probably because I’d had no idea who she was until recently, and I’d filed it in my head as Opera losing to some random competitor.

... Was she still competing? Probably, if she was concerned about summer camp. Would she still be competing by the time it was my turn to take a crack at the autumn triple crown...?

... I didn’t want to start thinking of her as a rival. I kind of preferred thinking of her as one of the few people who I’d never have to worry about competing against - Though it was arrogant to think I’d ever compete against any of these people at all, trainwreck that I was...

As soon as Agnes Digital had made the arrangements (and paid the eye-watering price tag), we were ushered into some changing rooms. They smelled like bamboo and floral shampoo. We were asked to place our belongings into some bags, and wear some gowns for the duration of our stay. I was somewhat nervous, starting to worry if Digital had somehow signed us up for some kind of pervert spa without us knowing. I picked a gown in a larger size just to make sure nothing was showing.

My anxieties only intensified as I was shown into a salon area, and each of us were ushered into different seats. Just what kind of treatment was this? Was I even allowed to be in here? This was a fancy place for umamusume, not... whatever I was. Was there something about me that’d tip them off? Would they somehow discover-

“Nice to meet you. My name is Misaki, and I will be your stylist and therapist today.” The stylist interrupted my catastrophizing by offering me a series of platitudes- out of obligation, of course. I had no illusions that this woman was my friend. She was a decently pretty woman with black hair tied up in a bun. “How are you today?”

“I’m Joie de Vivre, and... I’m doing alright.” I lied, not wanting to dump my woes onto a perfect stranger.

“That’s good,” Misaki smiled, not caring to press me on my lie. “You’re getting the full treatment today?”

“I guess,” I mumbled out as I settled into the salon chair. There was no support for my neck- I was supposed to lay my head back and relax as the stylist did her thing.

“Your hair’s a beautiful color, and it’s very lustrous and smooth... What products do you use?”

“It’s, um...” I mumbled out, not sure how to feel about the compliments. “Just some shampoo and conditioner that my friend recommended...”

“Well, she’s got good taste.” Misaki ran hot water through my hair as she combed through it with her fingers. “Did you want to try a new hairstyle as well today, or just a trim?”

“Just, uh... a trim. I like what I have, thanks.” I lied again. I didn’t really have a hairstyle. I just let it do whatever it wanted and it seemed to work out fine... and I didn’t want to risk trying a hairstyle that I wasn’t going to like.

I closed my eyes reluctantly, not wanting to risk water or shampoo getting in my eyes, and my ears flicked in irritation as water spray hit them. Ugh, I was going to hate this, wasn’t I? I scrunched my face up, preparing to bear with it-

And as soon as her fingers met my scalp, I melted into my chair.

Through some sort of magic, the simple act of working shampoo into my hair had become an incredibly relaxing experience. It never felt this nice in the shower. Was it because someone else was doing it, or did she have some sort of special training? It was as if she was manually pulling the anxious thoughts out of my head and washing them down the drain.

“So, do you go to Tracen as well?” Misaki asked, running the hot water up and down the length of my hair.

“Well, I walked in here in a uniform, so...” I mumbled out.

“I suppose that was a silly question. Apologies.” Misaki’s voice carried a practiced smile. “Have you run in any races yet?”

“Only one, but I lost it pretty badly...” Why was I confiding this to her?

“Oh, that’s too bad.” Misaki’s voice flashed with indifferent sympathy. “Well, you’ll get them next time, right?”

“... Yeah.” I mumbled out, not sure whether or not I believed her.

After washing my hair, next came the tail wash- which was more than a bit embarrassing, since she got right up to the base of it. She noticed my discomfort, and encouraged me by saying “It’s alright. I take it this is your first time having something like this done?”

I didn’t want to just out and say that I wasn’t used to having people pay attention to me, so I said nothing and she continued with her work. It’d be faster that way. It did feel really nice, though- she caught a lot of the internal tangles that my usual routine missed, and somehow my tail felt lighter and breezier by the end of it despite being bogged down by water and wrapped up in a towel.

After that, I was ushered out of the salon area and into a more private booth with dividers between the massage tables. I could see Agnes Digital and Zenno Rob Roy shuffling in to receive this part of the treatment as well, though apparently Neo Universe’s hair was giving her stylist some trouble.

After I’d laid myself out on the table in as comfortable a position as I could manage, Misaki got to work on a massage- starting with my neck and shoulders. I hadn’t registered just how stiff and sore I’d felt until after I didn’t feel it anymore. She smoothed out my knotted muscles like how a housekeeper might smooth out wrinkled bedsheets, and gently pushed my bones back to where it felt like they always should have been. I wished to know this magic. I wanted to wield this power, so that one day, I could make someone marvel in awe as I did to them what Misaki did to me now.

She slowly worked her way down my body, pushing the discomfort down through my back and my legs- though as she started on my ankle, I winced and she immediately stopped.

“Sorry, um... I hurt my ankle the other day. Maybe skip that part.” I mumbled into the table, embarrassed.

“Ah... No, that’s fine. Is it a sprain? I can work around it, unless you’d rather not risk it?”

... Eh, what the hell. “Yeah. Just be careful, I guess...”

... I seriously wanted to know how the hell she did this. After she was done, my ankle somehow felt better than before I’d sprained it. I felt like a pleasantly soft and squishy piece of flan, resting upon the table and unbothered by the world.

“Ehehe...” Agnes Digital giggled from her booth. “Looks like you’re enjoying yourself?”

I snapped the relaxed grin I’d been making off of my face and pouted. “... This is nice, I guess. Not what I was expecting from you.”

“A true umamusume otaku knows what an umamusume needs,” Agnes Digital sighed out, “And what she needs is one of these miracle massages. After one of these, I always run my best...”

“... You get one of these before every race?” I blinked.

“Yep! Helps me look my best, too- I can’t stand up on stage next to an umamusume looking shoddy!”

Truly, Agnes Digital contained multitudes.

“... I should bring Opera here sometime.” I mumbled into my pillow as Misaki got to work on my feet. “And Doto would probably appreciate it too, what with her back pain...”

“O-Oh, yeah. She, uh, probably has to deal with that, huh...” Agnes Digital stared into a corner of the room, her mind drifting elsewhere.

“Yeah, since she keeps slouching all the time...” I mumbled out... And then noticed that Agnes Digital was staring with an expression that told me that she was thinking of some other reason she might have to deal with back pain.

I decided not to press her on that. The massage had put me in a good mood.

=====

“Right, right. Thanks for takin’ the time outta your day to be here. Can I ask you to state your name for the record?”

“Right, um... Matsuo Shizue.” The small woman in front of the detective fidgeted with the bottle of water she’d been given. She was approaching old age- late fifties, early sixties. Getting more than a few gray hairs mixed in with that black bun of hers. Around the same age as the detective, then, though the detective didn’t show it thanks to somethin’ she’d inherited from her ma.

“Age an’ Occupation?” The detective tapped her notepad idly with her pencil. Of course, she’d already had all’a this written down, but the higher-ups liked it when she did things the proper way.

“Um... Fifty-eight years, and I work for the Furukawa accounting firm...” The old woman glanced at the corners of the table nervously. Wasn’t a sign of anything, really. Most people got nervous when they were brought in for an interrogation like this, even if they hadn’t done nothin’ wrong.

“Right... So, few weeks ago, you put in a missin’ persons report, yeah? Wanna tell me for who?” The detective leaned back in her chair as she swished her tail lazily. She wanted to kick up her feet, but the higher-ups hated it when she did that. They didn’t want to replace another table, after all.

“M-My son. Matsuo Katsuo.” Shizue leaned forwards somewhat insistently. “Have you found anything yet-”

“Easy, easy.” The detective held up her hand. “How long’s he been missing for?”

“I, um... I’m not sure, but I haven’t heard from him since December of last year. Haven’t I... already answered-”

“Sure have,” The detective spun her pencil around in her fingers. “But last time, you were with some old putz who wanted to write your kid off.” The detective clicked her tongue in annoyance. “Me, I got a good nose for these sorts of things.”

The truth was that it ate her up inside, to have watched this old woman cry. Seeing your kid go before you do was the worst kinda pain a parent could have, so the fact that the other officers were so eager to write this woman’s child off as the sort of case where they just disappeared into the woods one night and never came back... Plus all of those leading questions about whether he was a lonely guy, or if he frequently sounded depressed.

“Right, so. What’s his job?” The detective asked.

“Um... He works as a trainer. He works with Umamusume, at Tracen Academy. I’ve tried asking after him, but they said he doesn’t work there anymore...”

“Right... Did they tell you when he quit?”

“Um... Supposedly, he tendered his resignation on new year’s day. Right after his trainee retired.”

“Right after his trainee retired... You don’t mean TM Opera O, do you?” Shizue flinched, as though she wasn’t supposed to have let that information slip- not that she would’ve expected the detective to put two and two together on that. “Oh, so he was a big shot, then? He was the Centurial Overlord’s mysterious trainer?”

“I... I suppose so, yes. He didn’t want people knowing about it, but he always made sure to send money home...”

“Ahh. You been havin’ trouble because of the lack of funds? I could help you figure something out.” The detective gave a probing question, under the guise of appearing friendly- well, there was some genuine friendliness in there. People opened up more if you treated ‘em nice, rather than shove a lamp in their face and grill them. But still, there was a subtle accusatory undercurrent that’d get someone who’d done wrong raising their hackles.

Thankfully, the detective saw none of that. “I’ve never taken his support for granted- and really, it’s not that necessary. I’ve been putting it all into a savings account for him.” Hm. Not all of it, if that nice bracelet is any indication, but the detective wasn’t gonna press her on that. Nobody could blame a gal for wanting to spoil herself once in a while...

“Huh. How much money was he sendin’? If he was trainin’ one of the most famous racers of her generation, then you probably coulda quit your job, y’know?”

Shizue grimaced. “I don’t want to be a burden on him. He was already under so much pressure...”

No kidding. It was easy to assume that he’d cracked under the strain, then, but, well... The detective had a hunch that there was more to this story than that. “Right... He ever tell you about any relationships outside’a work?”

Shizue shook her head. “No. Really, I don’t blame you if you think he worked himself to death. I’ve always been worried about him... He’s never known how to pace himself when it comes to that sort of thing, and the only people he’d talk about would be his trainees or coworkers.”

“Hey, I wouldn’ta called you back in here to badger you if I thought that was the case.” The detective’s spinning pencil slipped out of her fingers, and she quickly scrambled to catch it before it hit the floor. “You wanna give me the names of a few of ‘em, if you remember? Might make my job easier.”

“O-okay...” Shizue pursed her mouth. “Though, um, what do I call you, miss...?”

Ah, shit. The detective slapped her forehead. The chief would be on her ass about this later- she was supposed to introduce herself at the start of the recording, too. He already didn’t like that she was wasting her time on this case.

“Sorry, ma’am, manners ain’t my strong suit. You can call me... Most Wanted.”

=====

I couldn’t stop feeling my face.

“It’s so smooth...” I mumbled out, into the surface of the onsen waters. I’d been put through a dozen treatments- hot stones on the pressure points on my back, three different massages, skin masks and scrubs, and even a brief interlude where I ate some of the most delicious sushi of my life. Was I dead? Was this heaven? Surely not. That’s not where I’d wind up going.

I was so relaxed, in fact, that I barely even cared that I was sharing the onsen waters with three other umamusume. This was the first time I’d actually bathed with someone else, instead of just using the showers so that I wouldn’t have to deal with the anxiety of possibly running into one of the people who Knew, and the possibility that they’d... chase me out, for whatever reason.

Glancing over at Neo Universe as she sat in the water, I was reminded that she did seem to know more than she let on about me, but I couldn’t bring myself to worry about that right now.

“I’m amazed, too...” Zenno Rob Roy said, shuffling up next to me, her hair falling flatly off of her head. It was strange seeing her without the braids. “The treatments here really are something else, aren’t they?”

“‘ZGRV’...” Neo Universe mumbled, staring dreamily into space.

“I’m glad this all worked out, then.” Rob Roy smiled. “I was really worried about what you’d think of us, but I couldn’t stand watching you do that to yourself. You deserve a break, Joie.”

My contented expression slowly faded from my face. Right. They were only doing this out of... pity.

Zenno Rob Roy immediately noticed my expression shift. “A-ah... I suppose it really wasn’t my place to interrupt you or anything...”

“No, it’s fine.” I said glumly. “I just... don’t deserve this-”

“Incorrect!” The only one of us four who had yet to speak, Agnes Digital, finally spoke up - though she was sitting in the opposite corner and facing away, and also holding her hands in front of her eyes despite the fact that she was facing away.

“Eh?” Zenno Rob Roy and I said in tandem.

“You deserve this and more, just by virtue of being an umamusume!” Agnes Digital announced. “You are a precious soul, and if it were my choice, then each and every umamusume in the world would live in utmost luxury!”

... If only she knew.

I saw Neo Universe staring intently at me again. I glared back. Go ahead, say it. I know you know, even if I don’t know how you know.

“Joie de Vivre... ‘WORR’ that she is like the “Challenger”?” Neo Universe tilted her head. I had no idea what she meant.

“Challenger... You mean like the Space Shuttle Disaster?” Zenno Rob Roy ventured a guess.

Neo Universe nodded, and then spread out her arms wide. “Kaboom.”

“I mean, what else could you describe that debut as, if not a disaster...?” I laughed bitterly. “I’m a fake umamusume. That race just proved it. There was no way I’d be able to-”

I was taken aback by Agnes Digital suddenly pointing her finger in my face, having dashed over from her corner of the onsen (though she was still holding her other hand over her eyes). “Wrong!”

“Wh-” I was so taken aback by Digital of all people interrupting me like this that I forgot what I had even been saying.

“Do you know what is the most appealing thing about Umamusume?” She asked.

“Well, knowing you... You’d probably say something like their hair, or their tails, or their figures.” I didn’t want to delve any deeper than that.

“While those are good answers,” Agnes Digital nodded, “Those are surface-level. The most appealing thing about umamusume... is their dreams.”

“Is this one of those things where you say you like a girl because of her personality, when you mean her-” I deadpanned, before I was interrupted again.

“No, it’s not! I’m being serious!” Agnes Digital continued, pouting slightly. “The greatest thing about Umamusume is that they always pursue their dreams wholeheartedly! And that means they put a lot of themselves on the line when they race. That means you put yourself on the line when you race, because you’re racing for your dream just like everyone else is, one way or another.”

“... So, what? That I shouldn’t be sad, just because other people’s dreams were broken, too?”

“No, you should be sad. That’s normal, I think.” Agnes Digital took a deep breath. “It sucks. It really, really sucks to try your hardest and run into a wall... But when I think about that, I like to remember the words of an American philosopher: ‘The credit belongs to the uma on the turf, who strives valiantly, who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming’.”

The gravitas of this speech was significantly undercut by the fact that Digital was still covering her eyes while making it.

“Don’t beat yourself up ‘cause you lost once, because you’re doing something amazing just by trying. Everyone screws up and makes mistakes. Even TM Opera O lost plenty of times- heck, she lost to me, and I still don’t really know how that happened!” Agnes Digital shrugged to prove her point. “The great thing about you, about umamusume, is the ability to keep going despite it all. So please, don’t give up on yourself!”

I opened my mouth to push back, but her words sank into me. Here she was, a racer multiple years my senior and a contemporary of my trainee-turned-mentor, offering me words of wisdom. I wanted to say that I hadn’t given up, that the entire reason I’d been dragged here was because I hadn’t. I was training relentlessly so that my next race would be different, but... As her words sank into me, I had to admit that I wasn’t really doing that. If I looked at it from a trainer’s angle, It looked a whole lot more like I was punishing myself for losing.

No wonder Noelle had been giving me nothing but rest days. I would too, if I was her.

“... Yeah. You’re right.” I smiled weakly. “Thanks.”

“Ah, um- not to come off as... preachy or presumptuous or anything! I-I’m just some otaku, you don’t have to listen to me...”

Ah. There’s the Agnes Digital I knew.

-----

Our trip to the onsen had left me feeling both physically and spiritually cleansed. The various treatments at the day spa had lifted an invisible weight off of my shoulders, and for the first time in a while, I felt like I could stand up straight again.

The thing that stuck with me most about the whole experience, though, was a deeper level of respect for Agnes Digital. She had... quite possibly the most absurd personality I’d ever experienced, but she actually had some serious wisdom behind those lecherous eyes of hers.

“You’re even more radiant than before...! Your hair glitters like the sunset comes to life...”

“That’s probably because it’s getting close to sunset.” I deadpanned. “Come on, Miss Tazuna’s probably wondering where we are.”

“Asjhfklsh! Even after all that, she still doesn’t want to accept the compliment...! Moe overload...!” Agnes Digital fell behind the group as, once again, one of us saying just about anything sent her into a hyperventilating daze.

She was really putting forward her best effort to make me forget about that wisdom.

“I-I’m still sorry you got dragged into this, Digital-senpai, but today was very nice. Thank you very much for treating us.” Zenno Rob Roy smiled awkwardly. 

“Aha, well, something like this would probably be a bit overboard as a fan, but since Miss Tazuna asked, um, I suppose this is okay, as a one-time thing?” Agnes Digital laughed nervously. “Bringing my idols to the spa is, uh, kinda super parasocial...”

I still barely believed she considered me one of her idols, but again, there was nothing inside me that told me she was lying, so I just kind of had to go with it.

“Oh, right! What about summer camp?!” Zenno Rob Roy realized suddenly. “We made you miss summer camp- how are you going to get there?!”

“Oh, that. I can probably jog there tomorrow, it’s fiiiine.” Agnes Digital waved off the concern before muttering under her breath, “A fitting penance for what I accidentally saw when my eyes slipped open...” 

Rob Roy laughed awkwardly. It was only more weird due to Digitan’s insistence on not looking...

As I lagged behind the other two, Neo Universe walked up beside me on my right. I glanced warily at her, not wanting whatever she said to ruin my mood.

“I think...” Neo Universe put her fingers together, and pulled them apart, emphasizing her left and right hands in turn as she spoke. “An “Artificial Planet” and a “Natural Satellite”... Both ‘HBTL’.” She tilted her head with a slight smile.

... Fine. I’d figure out her riddle.

“So... You know I’m an... ‘artificial planet’?” I grimaced, not liking this sword of Damocles hanging over my head. “What, are you going to tell people about it, or...”

Neo Universe slowly shook her head. “That is not my... ‘INTN’. Your『Name』... “OOPArt”.”

Uuuuugh. More riddles.

“H-B-T-L, and you’re talking about planets... Habitable?” I grumbled. A slight nod from my conversation partner signified that I’d landed on a correct-enough answer.

And... Even if she knew somehow, she still accepted me enough to not blow my cover, or make a scene in the onsen, or... whatever. If anything it seemed like she was curious, though hers were not like the cloying scanline eyes of a certain Takarazuka Kinen champion.

It’d be easier for me if she were my friend, I decided. “Thanks, I guess.” I sighed. “So, um... I have the rest of the week to myself, and there’s only so many books I can read... I guess I’m taking suggestions on how to kill time?”

Neo Universe’s eyes lit up. “Neo Universe will prepare ‘MMMM’...!”

I couldn’t tell if she was talking about food or something else, but it was probably better than sulking in my room.

Notes:

when i said that Agnes Digital was one of the most important characters in the fic, i was neither lying nor kidding

Chapter 16: Memory

Summary:

"That's who she wants to be... someone with no rivals. No place for anyone else."

“I thought we were training today?” I asked. Today was my first day back to training after my doctor-mandated break- though it went by fairly quickly thanks to Neo Universe’s ‘Monster Movie Madness Marathon’. 

“Yup.” Noelle set down a bunch of video tapes on the coffee table in front of Tojen Lily and myself. “Today, your training is reviewing these.”

I looked down at the stack of tapes, scanning over the faded labels. “Fuchu Sansai Stakes, Tokyo... Asahi Hai Sansai, Nakayama... Nihon Tampa Sho, Nakayama...”

“I’ve never even heard of these races.” Tojen Lily furrowed her brow.

“Wait-” My eyes lit up with recognition. “These are all from Maruzensky’s races, aren’t they?!”

“Someone’s well-read!” Noelle smiled. “A bunch of these have had their names changed and moved racecourses. Some of ‘em are graded races now, too-”

“This is the race where Maruzensky set the 1600-meter turf record!” I picked up the Asahi Hai tape excitedly. “I remember watching her as a kid, and wanting to be just like her- She finished by distance in this race! After this, she started having a hard time finding races to compete in, just because nobody wanted to compete against her- But she was always the coolest!”

“You were watching races from like, 25 years ago as a kid?” Tojen Lily raised an eyebrow.

Erk.

“Aha, well, it’s, um... All I could... get my hands on...” My enthusiasm deflated. I’d very nearly let something pretty big slip just now...

“Personally, I think an appreciation of the classics is a good thing.” Noelle smiled and gently took the tape from my hands. “But that’s not the only reason I figured I’d start with these. The way your eyes lit up just now, Joie... You’d rather be front-running like her, wouldn’t you?

“Huh? Well... Yeah, I guess, but not everyone can be Maruzensky, right...? I mean, she just ran away to the front and dominated. I’m sure everyone would rather do that.”

“Not necessarily!” Noelle grinned, sensing that she’d honed in on something. “There are some who prefer to stay near the back and save their energy, not just for practical reasons, but personal, as well. Either because they’re better-suited for the strategy, or because it’s more dramatic if they do so... Peaceful World, for example, seems to save her energy near the very back because it gives her a better view of the entire race. Same with Agnes Digital... And those two turn that momentum into power. You, on the other hand, Joie... Your first instinct is to go to the front, right?”

“Isn’t that... everyone...?” I mumbled out, embarrassed.

“Joie,” Noelle laughed exasperatedly, “I should’ve sensed it sooner. You’re a natural front-runner.”

“But...” I mumbled out, fidgeting. “Opera and Doto-”

“Are different people.” Noelle interrupted. “And from the way your face lit up when you recognized these tapes, I’m gonna bet that you were way more enchanted with Maruzensky’s running than you were with theirs.”

She wasn’t wrong. Opera and Doto were both incredible to have seen in person, but there was something incredibly powerful about just getting into the front and staying there. No need to save your energy, no need for fancy tricks or fighting for position, just complete domination from front to finish.

“I’ll find some tapes from Mihono Bourbon and Silence Suzuka’s races as well while you guys watch these. I want you guys taking notes on how you’d try and win these races from, eh... Let’s say three different positions. Maruzensky’s, first post, and last post.” Noelle waved her hand as she left her office.

“Huh. Does this mean we’re front-runner buddies?” A grin spread across Tojen Lily’s face as she turned to look at me.

“More like front-runner rivals.” I frowned. “We can’t both be at the front, you know.”

Lily was again disarmed by my tone- perhaps I sounded more hostile than I meant. “Ahaha... You really say that like it’s a bad thing?”

“It’s just the truth of it. Only one of us can win, and...” The end of my sentence was going to be ‘I’d feel bad just beating you every time’, but I felt like not only was that unearned bravado, but also just a cruel thing to say, so I let the awkward silence hang.

Tojen Lily put her finger on her glossy lips as her eyebrows tied themselves into knots. “But... having a rival is a good thing, though. Like with Nice Nature and Tokai Teio, or with Special Week and Grass Wonder- Oh, duh, like with Opera and Doto!”

“I- Would you really call them rivals?” I balked a bit. “I mean, between the two, it’s clear that Opera’s the stronger racer, right?”

Lily just sighed at me like I’d said something wrong. “What?” I insisted.

“Maybe you should ask them yourself.” Lily glumly said. 

I had the sense that I’d hurt her feelings, somehow, but since she wasn’t willing to say anything to me about it, I just had to put it out of my mind. Bickering like this wasn’t going to help anything, and it certainly wasn’t going to take care of the work that Noelle had put in front of us...

Not that watching Maruzensky race felt like work to me. I quickly stuffed the first tape into the VCR, hit play, and jumped back onto the sofa next to Lily. As soon the race started playing, time started flying.

She was just as incredible as I remembered... A bolt of red, blazing down the track with nobody else in sight. Maybe Noelle was onto something? If I could run like Maruzensky, I’d never have to worry about getting blocked in again.

Seeing me marvel at the tapes, Lily spoke up to ask; “Wow, she really inspires you, huh? I guess it makes sense that you’d look up to someone like her.”

Somehow, the way Lily said it, it didn’t feel like she thought it was a good thing. “Well- I guess I can’t help who inspires me. Why, who do you look up to?”

“My aunt.” Tojen Lily’s voice gained a layer of melancholy. “She was a pretty accomplished racer, and she’s also the only other umamusume in my immediate family, so... I guess I’m obligated to look up to her, y’know?”

“Really?” I probed, my attention drifting from the race on the TV. I knew basically everything that was about to happen anyway- it’s not like Maruzensky left much doubt as to who was going to win. Noelle’s assignment was pretty nonsensical anyway, since the only way to win this race would be to be Maruzensky.

“Yeah.” Lily smiled, though again there was an inexplicable pain in her expression. “She won 11 races- even took three G1s, if you’d believe it! Both Tenno Shos, and the Arima Kinen, though none were in the same year. We even have all her trophies in a special office back at home. I never saw any of her races in person- I wasn’t even born yet, y’know? So I guess I shouldn’t have made fun of you for watching a bunch of old tapes when you were a kid. I did the same thing.”

“It’s okay.” I smiled. “I guess it is pretty odd.”

I really did feel like a kid again, watching these races. It was hard to believe that they were dated from 25 years ago- it made me feel old, somehow, despite the fact that I knew I was 18, and remembered being there with my mother and father-

My stomach suddenly lurched into my throat as I nearly bit my tongue. Those weren’t my memories. But... they were? My hand clapped over my mouth as the world began to spin around me.

I stood at the precipice of a chasm that I’d been blindly walking towards like a fool. I scrambled for the remote to pause the recording, yet I’d been robbed of my sense of balance and all but fell out of my chair as soon as I wrapped my fingers around the thing. I felt the plastic buckle in my hands. I could only stare in horror as the ruined circuitry fell limply to the floor.

“Joie? Why did you- Oh, no, are you okay!?” Tojen Lily spoke - but her voice sounded distant and muffled. I had to get away from her. I didn’t know why, but I had to. I stood up and stumbled towards the other end of the room, holding up my hands to try and keep... someone from getting too close.

My stomach hurt. My head was swimming. It felt like the air itself didn’t make sense, that it was some sort of creosote oil pouring into my lungs and exploding from my mouth. My body felt red-hot and yet I was shivering. Garbage bin. Don’t make a mess.

It had been so long that I’d forgotten... What race was that? Was it the Fuchu Sansai stakes, or was it the Japanese Derby? Was I watching from a TV at home, or in person with my parents? How the hell was that man there when I had exploded at him so hard that-

Was that me, that did that? Who even was I?

Muffled footsteps from behind me, and a steadying hand on my shoulder. I gripped the sides of the bin with an iron grip because that was the only thing keeping me from lashing out at someone who was trying to give me comfort.

Someone’s voice said something. I couldn’t tell whose it was or what words they were saying.

I felt something leave my mouth. I couldn’t tell if it was air or my breakfast. It tasted foul regardless.

The edges of my vision turned gray. The world flew out from under my feet, and I fell into the sky.

 

...

 

And then, I was in the infirmary. There were voices, but any words I could hear were drowned out by the low ring of tinnitus. Indistinct shapes slowly coalesced into three shapes...

Noelle was talking to a nurse, both standing to my left, as TM Opera O carefully studied my face to my right. Her face was screwed tight with worry, but lit up as soon as we made eye contact- her light, it seemed, shined even through this blurry haze.

It felt like I only ever saw her when I was at my lowest points, these days. I felt pathetic.

“She has awakened!” Opera pronounced.

Noelle muttered something that sounded like gibberish at first, before I vaguely recognized it as English. I didn’t have the processing power to translate at the moment. “Joie, are you okay? You threw up and passed out in my office. What’s going on?”

“I... I don’t know.” I mumbled incoherently. I moved my arms around, and they felt alien- a sudden fear seized me, because of what happened the last time I’d passed out and woken up somewhere else- I instantly brought my hands into view, felt my face-

Silky smooth. Just as it should be, thanks to the spa treatment from two weeks ago. I felt my ears on top of my head, my tail muscles twitching against the fabric of the bed.

All at once, relief and inexplicable sorrow hit me, and my mouth wrenched itself closed as my eyes teared up.

“It’s okay,” The nurse bent over to offer a reassuring hand. “You’re not hurt. Your friend caught you before you hit the ground, so you didn’t so much as bump your head.”

I wiped my eyes. That’s not what I was scared of, but that was good to know as well.

“Do you remember at all what happened?” The nurse gently asked.

“... I was watching the tapes with Lily like you asked,” I slowly explained, turning to Noelle, “And then I just...”

It had been so long since I’d even thought about this- about my mismatched memories. In the months that had passed, I was so focused on my training and debut that I’d completely forgotten about them, and when they hit me again, it felt like a punch to the stomach.

I couldn’t run from it any longer. I had to talk to Opera about this, or this would just happen again... and there were way worse times for it, too.

“Sorry, um...” I mumbled out. “Can I talk to Opera for a bit? Alone?”

The nurse and Noelle glanced at one another, clearly not sure why I’d make this request. “... Alright. Let us know when you’d like us to come back inside.” The nurse said with an uneasy smile.

Noelle gave me a long, probing stare before she turned away. I wasn’t sure whether she felt suspicion or concern.

As the two humans in the room walked out, I lifted myself upright and propped my back against the rear of the bedframe. Opera watched me with a serious look on her face.

“I take it what troubles you, then, is no mere malady of the stomach.” Opera offered her hand for me to hold- and I gladly took the steadying presence. “Please, take a deep breath, and tell me your woes.”

I did as she asked. It smelled like disinfectant and rubbing alcohol.

“... So, we never really talked about my memories...” I struggled to say- I didn’t want to talk about this. But I had to.

“You are correct, for at the time there were other matters that demanded our attention. I take it this attack was related to that?”

I nodded. “So... it’s not just that I have missing memories.” I grimaced, forcing the words out of my mouth. “I have... new ones.”

Opera blinked. “Could I ask you to clarify...?”

“As in, I have old memories, but I don’t think they’re mine,” The words started coming on their own- I was reluctant to talk about this at first, but now that the box had been opened, I couldn’t close it again. “Memories that I don’t think were there before. Because whenever I close my eyes and try to visualize myself in those memories, I don’t see... him, I see an umamusume. An umamusume with... brown hair.” I frowned.

TM Opera O frowned as well, as puzzled by this as I was.

“It’s... like I have two sets of memories at once,” I explained, moving my hands around as though to somehow visualize what I was saying. “If I’m thinking about you, then I still remember you, I remember all of that time we spent together. I even... vaguely recall that I used to be your trainer, even if I can’t remember at all how I did it or why- but even then, you feel more like... my senpai than my trainee.”

“But- then, when I was thinking about myself as a kid, all of a sudden it felt like there were two overlapping things happening at once, and-” I moved my hands over one another as I rambled to illustrate my point- “I just... don’t- I didn’t know what was real anymore...”

“I assure you,” TM Opera O held my hand tight. “Our bond is what is real. That bond was so strong, and still is, that nothing could break it- not adversity, not the circumstances of your birth.” She smiled reassuringly. “Ever shall I be by your side, as you were by mine. That is the version of events that is etched into the annals of history. That, you can trust to be real.”

Opera let me take another deep breath to steady myself.

“So, this was triggered by you recalling the events of your childhood...” She mused. “Is it too much for you to elaborate on them now?”

My gaze drifted down towards my bedsheets. I didn’t want to try again. I didn’t want to invite that feeling of vertigo back into myself... But I would. For her.

“I... watching Maruzensky made me think back to when I was a kid. I was watching the...” I hesitated, struggling to get my story straight. “Fuchu Sansai stakes. At home, with my mother. I remember... being entranced by Maruzensky. After that, she promised to bring me to see the Oka Sho...”

“But-” I continued, before Opera could interject. “I also remember watching you. At the Satsuki Sho- not as a trainer, but as a kid. I was there with my parents- and I... I don’t know how my dad was there. He’s not supposed to be there- and I remember cheering for you, yelling my voice raw as you ran past Narita Top Road right before the finish... But- was that me as a trainer, or...?”

Opera contemplated for a moment before simply asking, “What if they are both true?”

I could only stare at her in bewilderment.

“There is Joie de Vivre, the former trainer, who witnessed all of this from the perspective of a human who yearned to run on the track - and there is also Joie de Vivre who saw this from the perspective of an Umamusume, taking inspiration from the Overlord like so many others. Perhaps this was the Umamusume within you, watching the race at the same time as your Trainer self?” Opera explained her theory.

“I... That doesn’t explain why my dad was there.” I frowned. “Except... he was nothing like my dad. My real father...” Bile rose in my throat again as my heart sank into a mire of boiling tar. “... He wouldn’t have been there.”

Opera gripped my hand tightly. I never talked about my family with her. It was for a good reason.

After a moment, Opera asked, “Do you remember aught else that might help us solve this, Joie?”

I closed my eyes, trying to picture that brown-haired girl in my mind’s eye. I picked through her life as carefully as I could, fearful that I might suddenly uncover another memory that sent me reeling again. I didn’t want to accidentally do to Opera’s hand like I’d done to that poor remote.

I remembered training. I remember running races against my peers, being told how much I was showing promise. I remembered my mother encouraging me, sending me off to Tracen after scraping together enough money.

I remembered watching a girl run. She had deep, dark brown hair and wore a blue cape. I remembered realizing right then and there just how mediocre I was in comparison to her. I remembered the creeping feeling that no matter how hard I tried, I would never, never even come close to her greatness... And yet despite how sharply she stood out in my mind, she was fuzzy and indistinct. The harder I tried to remember her features, the more they eluded me.

I opened my eyes again, and reminded myself that I lived in this reality. I didn’t know if this girl was a figment of my imagination- another one of my flights of fancy that had been given form and a name by that flame inside me... But I could check.

“Does the name Deep Impact mean anything to you, Opera?” I held my gaze to hers, searching for any sort of reaction.

“Hm... I can’t say it does.” TM Opera O shook her head. I could tell she was being truthful... Not that I wanted to think she was lying to me, but some part of me worried that she’d keep information like that from me out of concern.

The conversation died limply there, and silence hung between us for an indeterminate length of time.

“... We should probably let the nurse and my trainer know they’re allowed back inside.”

All it took was one bellowing summons from Opera, and the two quickly returned. The nurse trotted up to my side, whereas Noelle strolled leisurely towards the foot of my bed.

“So, um-” The nurse smiled awkwardly, trying to resume her treatment of me as best she could with a several-minute interruption. “Are you feeling any dizziness or nausea now?” I shook my head no. “Soreness, or...”

“Really...” I mumbled out. “I just feel kinda hungry. I was asking Opera if she remembered what all I ate, in case I ate something that was off, but it’s a bit embarrassing...”

I didn’t really need to lie there, but I felt the need to anyway. Noelle’s mouth pulled slightly to the left, and her eyebrows furrowed. She knew I was lying. I didn’t know how, nor how I could recognize that she did.

“... Well, it could be anything from a stomach flu to just stress... Maybe you should take the rest of the day off?” The nurse smiled.

“No, no, I’m fine.” I waved off her concern. “We were just watching videos anyway.” Now that I knew that particular landmine was there, I could avoid triggering it again-

“Joie.” Noelle was using her authoritative tone. She didn’t want to have to put her foot down, but she would if I made her. It made sense from her perspective, I supposed... Especially since I was reluctant to actually tell her what made me collapse in the first place.

“... Fine.” I mumbled, defeated. 

“Good.” Noelle sighed, letting her stance relax. “Let me know if it happens again. If all is well, we can resume tomorrow. I need to get a new remote anyway.”

-----

“It was actually Lily that caught you, not myself.” Opera explained. “Or, at least, I assume so- I happened upon Noelle rushing you to the infirmary in the hallway.”

“And so you came along. That sounds right.” I sighed. We were sitting in the cafeteria, now - I needed to replenish the calories that I’d wasted earlier, even if I wasn’t training today. Still, my stomach wasn’t sitting right... so I had a bowl of plain miso soup in front of me, slowly sipping away in hopes that it’d quell my upset stomach.

“Were I there, I would have indeed come to your rescue- but no, it was your teammate who gallantly aided you in your time of need! Once you are finished, do you wish to head out to purchase a bouquet of flowers with which to express your thanks? I would offer some from my personal stock, but I know you much prefer to select such things yourself!”

I wanted to say that it wouldn’t be necessary, but I figured it’d be a nice gesture, since I did still recall that I’d said something to upset her before... whatever that was happened. Could I call it a panic attack? That was probably the closest word for it.

Speaking of that... “I, um... I should ask you something, actually... Are you and Doto... Rivals?”

TM Opera O’s expression abruptly shattered, revealing a wide-eyed stare of disbelief.

Then, she burst into laughter.

“Haaaa ha ha ha! Joie de Vivre- Ask yourself, does the sun make its morning appearance upon the eastern horizon? Is the color of the sky not the deepest azure?” Great. Now people were looking at us, and I felt like an idiot. I blushed furiously as I took another sip of my soup... I’d need to put more fuel on my candle if she kept this up.

“Ah... Perhaps I ought not laugh so, for I know your memories elude you- but it worries me that you would forget such a fundamental truth!” Opera O smiled, though there was still concern in her eyes.

“That’s-” I snapped, before holding my tongue, not wanting to lash out at Opera. “Well, I don’t know if I’m remembering it wrong or not, but as far as I can remember, you and Doto have been... friends.” I wanted to say they were more than that, but I didn’t actually know for sure.

“Then you remember correctly!” Opera beamed. “Indeed, Meisho Doto is my dearest friend in all the world, my knight whom I would have at my side through all of life’s travails- And she is also my rival!”

TM Opera O said a lot of nonsensical things with total confidence, but right now it felt like she was trying to put together a puzzle with parts from two completely different sets. “I... Well, she was your rival at one point, I remember. She declared she was going to beat you, but then you made up after that?”

“Hmmmm.” Opera placed her hand on her chin. “Hmmmmm.”

Oh no. She was thinking theatrically.

“I should like to ask a favor of you- And as you are not otherwise occupied today, I trust that this shall not be an undue imposition upon your time?” I sighed, dreading whatever it was she was scheming... But, like always, I wouldn’t be able to refuse her, so I just awaited whatever it was that she was about to ask me.

“Know you the tale of George Washington?” Opera asked, seemingly a non-sequitur. “First president of the United States, leader of men and umamusume alike?”

“I don’t think there’s a person on earth who doesn’t.” I said with a blasé affect. 

“Indeed, the tale of the founding father is quite famous- but what of his two aides? Can you name them?” 

“Um,” I blinked. “You mean... the other founding fathers...? Sorry, I don’t think my history class has gotten to the American War of Independence.”

TM Opera O shook her head. “I speak of the two Umamusume who fought by his side- the beautiful Blueskin, and the reliable Old Nelson. I plan to pen an opera based upon their likeness. With your aptitude for research and love of history, I would like to ask you to help me. I know only the scant details of their life and deeds, and I must confess, my own attempts at uncovering their story have been rather fruitless!”

“And why are you asking me this instead of answering my question?” I let out a belabored sigh.

“Because I was intending to ask you regardless!” TM Opera O held her hand above her forehead. “T’was why I was inquiring after Noelle’s office, you see.”

Yep, completely dodged the question... But as she pointed out, it wasn’t like I had anything better to do, and putting my nose in a history book sounded like a better use of my time than laying in bed and feeling bad about myself. “Okay. Sure, whatever, I’ll do it. Maybe Zenno Rob Roy has a good idea of where to start...”

I caught the faintest glimpse of a grin on Opera’s lips.

Chapter 17: Revolutionaries

Summary:

"Hey, have you ever thought about how strange it is that the word for 'umamusume' is the same in every language...?"

“I’m not sure if Tracen’s library would have anything like that, Joie...” Zenno Rob Roy tapped away at the computer in front of her - ostensibly searching through the database, but I couldn’t see the screen she was using to be sure. “That sounds like a pretty obscure topic, and we only have a small library...”

The library at Tracen Academy wasn’t what I would call small, but it wasn’t large either. It was still a single room, ultimately. It made some level of sense that it only carried books that would be relevant to the students’ studies, but... “We have an entire book about peacocks, but not about two famous umamusume?”

“I think calling them ‘famous’ is stretching it...” Zenno Rob Roy laughed. “I’ve never heard of these two before now.”

I knit my eyebrows, pulled out my smartphone, and brought up my browser app. I tapped in ‘George Washington’ into Umoogle as quickly as I could, tabbed over to the image search, and- yep. First thing I saw was an image of a painting of President Number One himself, holding a flag atop a hill while next to him stood a blue-silver-haired umamusume wielding a saber. I turned my phone around to show Rob Roy. “First image result. That’s Blueskin. I’m pretty sure like, half of the paintings of this guy have her in it.”

“Huh.” Rob Roy raised her eyebrows. “I remember seeing paintings with him next to a blue-haired umamusume before, but I don’t think I ever learned her name...”

“I think that’s probably half of why Opera asked for my help with this...” I frowned. “But most of what I can find online is just half-baked summaries of the two and the part they played in the American Revolution. Nothing that would help anyone write a play about them... Does this mean the answer isn’t in the library either...?” I let out a heavy-hearted sigh. I still didn’t know why exactly Opera was interested in these two in particular, but I didn’t want to come back to her empty handed after only a cursory investigation...

“Hehehe...” Zenno Rob Roy let out an uncharacteristic evil giggle, adjusting her glasses so that the fluorescent light of the library reflected on them. “Joie, the answer is always in the library. If we can’t find it here, then we must simply go to...”

-----

“The National Diet Library!” Zenno Rob Roy announced with glee. 

Before us lay a staggeringly huge building. I could scarcely believe that this entire thing was a library- I counted three- no, four floors. On either side of the entrance were rows of cherry trees- It was the middle of summer, so of course they weren’t in bloom, but I could only imagine the sight rivaled that of Tracen Academy’s main avenue during sakura season. It felt like the building was something more the size of a stadium or a palace, but to think it was filled head-to-toe with books...

“A-Are you sure it’s okay for us to be here?” I stammered. “Like, this seems like... a really important building?”

“It’s fine!” Zenno Rob Roy smiled. “On the occasions where I need something specific, I’ll usually come here- they let Tracen students use the facilities as much as they want, and it has one of the largest collections in the world! I’ve even seen Symboli Rudolf here once!”

“W-well...” I gulped. “Where do we even start...?” We walked into the lobby- no, that was incorrect. It was a yawning atrium, impressing upon me the sheer scale of the edifice I had entered. There were internal windows, leading to separate floors- buildings within buildings! This library could eat the one at Tracen Academy whole, and it wouldn’t even be a snack...

This was a place of power, for knowledge was power, and more knowledge was here than I’d ever held in my entire life. It was as though the building itself was staring down at me, judging me unworthy...

Rob Roy must have noticed how overwhelmed I was, as she gently took my hand and led me over to one of the reception desks. “Well, I’m sure one of the receptionists can point us towards a good place to start... American history, maybe?”

I took a deep breath to steady myself. It smelled like... a freshly-vacuumed carpet, and carefully-preserved paper.

“I guess that’s as good a place to start as any...” I offered the most confident smile I could, which defaulted to ‘nervous’. I didn’t dare keep my candle lit in a place like this... That was just asking to cause a scene, but without its warmth I felt horribly out-of-place.

I was expecting to have to sort through rows and rows of bookshelves myself, but I noticed that nowhere in the huge atrium I was in, was there a single bookshelf in sight. Instead, after Zenno Rob Roy talked to the receptionist and told her what we were looking for, we were directed to take a seat at a nearby table. Someone would apparently go into the book-stacks for us and grab what we wanted, and come bring it to us...

It was a convenient experience, and the room was genuinely beautiful with large, modern paintings adorning the walls, but...

“I can’t help but feel like we’re missing some of the classic library experience,” I laughed quietly as I sat next to Rob Roy. “I was expecting, I dunno... A bigger version of what we have at Tracen? Several stories, lined wall to wall with books, giant ladders to scale...”

“Like something out of a fantasy novel?” It felt like Rob Roy was calling my expectations unrealistic, but the glimmer in her eyes told me that the idea enchanted her as well. “Yeah, I was disappointed too... It feels like a library this big should have enormous shelves as big as castle walls, lined with every piece of knowledge we’ve ever obtained... And maybe even some flying quills and books.” Zenno Rob Roy giggled.

“That’d certainly make me feel like a mighty wizard, just being in a place like that.” I smiled. “It feels like sitting around that many books just makes you feel smarter.”

“Ah, but then we’d have to get our own familiars to help us sort through the books!” Rob Roy added on excitedly. “A magician has better things to do than search through a bunch of tomes to find the ones she wants, right?”

“A familiar... Like a black cat?” I pondered. “I’m not sure how much that’d help.”

“Well, maybe not a cat... How about a devil?” Zenno Rob Roy’s expression was an excitable grin, but she seemed maybe a bit too enthusiastic at the prospect of summoning a devil to be her personal librarian...

“That sounds a bit dangerous, doesn’t it?” I laughed. “And very unlike you! I’d expect you to have a little fairy helper, not a mischievous imp!”

“Devils can be nice too...” Zenno Rob Roy pouted. “You shouldn’t discriminate based on what they’re called, you know!”

“I think that’s what people say before they sign their souls away!” Even though I was objecting to what Rob Roy was saying, I was still smiling thanks to the lightheartedness of the conversation. Maybe I’d be a bit more serious if devils were real- though, considering the supernatural circumstances of my life, maybe they were... 

“Well, fairies are just as bad about that.” Zenno Rob Roy huffed and folded her arms. “You try getting a pixie helper, and then we’ll see how well that goes when it comes to claim your firstborn child!”

“I would simply have no children. Checkmate.” I placed my hand on my collarbone, smiling smugly. It definitely wasn’t as though I ever wanted to... have relations with a man in a way that would lead to me having a kid. Eugh. Wait, could I even-

The librarian coming by our table to hand us our books (and a dirty glance) reminded the both of us that this was a library, and a place where people did serious research, and not the place where the two of us should be having fun discussing our theoretical magical companions.

“Sorry,” We both whispered. “We’ll be quiet.”

It was a pretty impressive pile of books to start- A general history of the United States of America, two different books about the revolutionary war (one written from the British perspective), A history of umamusume in America, and a Japanese-English dictionary that Rob Roy had the good sense to obtain before we started encountering English words we didn’t understand.

We each took half of our haul, and relocated out of the atrium into a smaller, more private area where we wouldn’t be bothering anyone by talking to one another. It had the vibe of a classroom more than a public library- it wasn’t a closed-off room, just an offshoot only separated from the atrium by large glass windows. The lack of bookshelves didn’t help.

I was really just expecting more bookshelves. Even if they had a bunch of decorative placeholder books on them, it really would have helped me feel like I was at Japan's largest library... Oh well.

“Hmm... Which one looks like it’s more complicated?” I glanced between the books. “My English is pretty good, so I might have an easier time reading the more difficult books.”

“I’d like to say mine’s pretty good too. A lot of western fiction doesn’t get translated into Japanese... Though I have been wondering, Joie, how did you learn English so well?”

“Ahaha, well... I had some internet friends when I was a teenager...” I answered without thinking... and then I quietly realized that I had no idea how I knew that.

“That makes sense.” Rob Roy quickly accepted my answer, which meant that I blessedly did not have to ponder this mysterious knowledge and possibly make my entire English vocabulary go up in smoke by thinking too hard about where it came from.

Rob Roy took the more modern text about the history of Umamusume in America, since that seemed like it’d be the most obvious place to start, and I took the general history book.

Time passed as the two of us silently flipped through the pages- I opened the book to an arbitrary point where I figured ought to be the start of the revolution, got annoyed when it was too far forward, and then arbitrarily flipped around a bit before I gave up and just used the table of contents like I was supposed to.

Unfortunately for me, though, as much as the book was eager to talk about the life story of Mr. One-Dollar Bill, how he was born in some place called Virginia, lived on a plantation, and apparently got really good at making maps, so on and so forth... Nothing yet about either of the umamusume who would be by his side throughout his military career. I didn’t want to just skip over large portions of the book in case there was something important...

My eyes started glazing over as the stupid book started going into detail about stuff I really didn’t care about. Oh no, his big bro Lawrence died, how sad... Oh, Mount Vernon, the estate where all the umamusume he worked with lived! He apparently inherited it from Lawrence’s widow? That’s kinda grim.

... Nothing about any of the umamusume who lived there, though...

Colonial Military career, nothing. Boston Tea Party- If either Blueskin or Old Nelson were involved, I’d never know, it seemed. Several different battles against the British, it went into detail about his tactics and the various battles... There was a nifty illustration about the crossing of the Delaware river, and I could see Blueskin and Old Nelson in the background- at least, I assumed that the blue-haired and chestnut umamusume depicted were them! I wouldn’t know! The book didn’t tell me!

The only time either of the two were mentioned was as a footnote, saying that George Washington was one of the most accomplished military minds when it came to utilizing umamusume, and it was there that Blueskin and Old Nelson were mentioned by name- as his two most trusted umamusume, and nothing else.

I wanted to pitch this stupid book into a river. I had no idea just how much time I’d wasted just now just to be told that apparently history didn’t think much of these two at all.

“Ahaha...” Zenno Rob Roy must have noticed my malevolent scowl as I contemplated the harms I wished to visit on this tome of time-wasting. “I take it you didn’t get much either...?”

“Nope.” I sighed, closing the book more gently than it deserved. “I got one mention of them by name, and it was as an afterthought... They were in a bunch of paintings, though. It makes no sense. If they were there with him the whole time, why not mention them at all?”

“Ah, well...” Zenno Rob Roy’s expression shifted to a more somber, melancholic tone. “Umamusume weren’t thought of very highly in America around that time.”

I didn’t like where this was heading.

“For a very long time, umamusume weren’t treated as equals to humans...” Zenno Rob Roy frowned. “In a lot of places, and in a lot of ways, they still aren’t. The author of this book supposes that the practical reasons for it were that Umamusume took an order of magnitude more resources to raise as children...”

That much was... honestly, a grimly realistic outcome. “Tojen Lily talks to me about her family from time to time- Apparently, they had a really hard time supporting her growing up, because both of her parents were human and had to work full-time jobs just to feed her. Her aunt had to move in and do most of the actual parenting since she was the only one who could keep up with an umamusume child, and she helped with money since she was a retired racer...”

Zenno Rob Roy nodded at my explanation. “Most poorer families in Washington’s time would only be able to keep one umamusume in their family at most, if they were lucky. If they couldn’t support their child, then they would have to turn her over to the wealthy landowners of the era, or...” Rob Roy trailed off with a pained expression, not willing to speak aloud the grim conclusion of that sentence.

“Wealthy landowners like Washington himself...” I mused, thinking about the Mount Vernon estate. “Hold on, I skimmed over something that might be relevant...” I opened the book I was reading back up, and flipped back a few pages from where I’d stopped. I found the passage about Mount Vernon again, and re-read it aloud. “[The umamusume living at the Mount Vernon estate were frequently employed in farmwork in the five farms around the estate, or were used to deliver messages or even hold sporting events for the amusement of the family and their guests.]”

“Systems like those are actually where some of the more famous umamusume lineages come from.” Zenno Rob Roy smiled. “Like the Mejiro family!”

“Still, it talks about the umamusume as if they were... objects.” My lip curled up involuntarily in disgust. “So what, these girls were just... sent to live somewhere apart from their family, and then would have to work for a complete stranger who treated them like dirt? And they had no say in any of it? That’s stupid. This sucks.”

“... I don’t think I can really disagree with you there.” Zenno Rob Roy sighed. "Especially Umamusume only got the right to vote in the USA about 80 years ago, as part of the women’s suffrage movement- and even then, they had to fight not to be excluded.”

That meant there were probably still some umamusume alive who grew up in a time where they weren’t considered to be people on the same level as human men. That... made my skin crawl, honestly. 

“... There were some middle class merchant families, at least, that had prominent umamusume members, but the vast majority of umamusume were employed in manual labor. There would have been some umamusume who participated in racing as well, though the sport was largely only accessible to the wealthy, unlike today.” Zenno Rob Roy continued.

A hush fell over the two of us. It didn’t feel good to be thinking about this stuff.

“I think maybe,” Zenno Rob Roy spoke up, “That’s why people like Rudolf and the Director fight so hard for the rights and happiness of umamusume.” A soft, bittersweet smile painted itself upon her lips. “It really wasn’t that long ago that the opportunities and education available to us today would’ve been unavailable, so we should be grateful for all the opportunities Tracen Academy provides us.”

Another long silence.

“I think I’ve decided I don’t like modern history,” I grumpily closed my book again. “It’s too close to home. I’d rather read about stuff that happened 2000 years ago. Then I don’t have to think about the impact it has on my life right now.”

Zenno Rob Roy laughed weakly. “That’s an understandable position, but unfortunately I don’t think we’re done...”

“So did your book say anything about either Blueskin or Old Nelson?” I asked, moving the topic along.

Zenno Rob Roy shook her head. “Unfortunately, all I got for my trouble was a passing mention like you- The book listed them as two of the prominent umamusume who changed the course of the war, but nothing in greater detail than that...”

“Well, if they were so important, why can’t we find anything about them?” I huffed, pushing over one of the pages of Rob Roy’s book with my breath. “As far as I can tell, all of their deeds were attributed directly to Washington himself, as if they were barely a factor at all.”

“Well, they were soldiers...” Zenno Rob Roy flicked her ears as she pondered. “Wartime achievements are usually attributed to generals and commanders. They don’t bother writing down the name of every single person who fought.”

“But it’s worse, since they were Umamusume...” I bitterly added.

Zenno Rob Roy didn’t object, but I could sense that she didn’t enjoy how worked-up I was getting over this.

Maybe the reason it hit so close to home for me was because I’d chosen this. I found umamusume so enchanting that I’d decided to become a trainer, and then an umamusume myself- and only now was I learning just how bad things were? Or, well, how things used to be. Maybe if I’d found out any of this before that fateful day, I could have used my privilege to...

Actually, that line of thought brought me down a hypothetical timeline where I never became Joie de Vivre, which was not something I wanted to entertain.

“Let’s keep looking.” Zenno Rob Roy offered her quiet optimism to distract me from the horrors of history. “I’m sure one of these books has to have something about them, right?”

-----

None of these books had anything in them.

The two of us were tired and hungry, languishing in a palatial prison of paper and pathos. After exhausting the easy places to start, we started going into more and more obscure sources, trying to find anything that could tell us more about Blueskin and Old Nelson, only to come up dry every time. The vocabulary of the books was getting more difficult as we started digging into more dated sources that used outdated English, which meant that we encountered words that we didn’t quite understand. We’d worked out a system where I’d read the book aloud, and Rob Roy would flip through the dictionary to define any words that we didn’t quite understand.

We had just finished trawling through a list of battles- and while some of the battles had listed umamusume as combatants on the American side, none of them mentioned Blueskin or Old Nelson by name! We had to guess at which battles even involved the two based on a book of paintings and the battles that involved umamusume. And even then, one of the paintings depicted Blueskin in a battle that supposedly involved no Umamusume combatants at all, which meant either that the source was wrong, or that the painter just decided to add her in there despite her not being present!

At least we had a large pile of notes to present to Opera, but clinical descriptions of who was where does not a story make. We had found nothing besides the vaguest surface-level descriptors of these two- Blueskin was beautiful and charismatic but skittish, whereas Old Nelson was levelheaded and reliable but often brusque. That really was the most colorful description we got of their characters- which said nothing about their dynamic with one another or George Washington. If they really were just two soldiers under his command who happened to be slightly more prominent, then there was barely a story at all and this was all an enormous waste of time.

“Aaaaaughhhhhhh.” I moaned face-down into the table. “Why did Opera ask me to do this? How does she even know about these two in the first place, if the two of us have been having so much trouble finding even a little bit about them?” Much as I admired her, Opera was not the type of person who would’ve been able to sit still this long. Especially in a library. She would’ve broken into song out of sheer boredom hours ago and gotten kicked out.

“Maybe we should head back...” Zenno Rob Roy sighed. “It’s getting late, and I’m sure we’re both hungry...”

I checked my phone. It was, indeed, getting pretty late- but it wasn’t curfew yet.

“One more.” I grumbled, peeling myself off the table. “One more book. I’m not going back empty-handed. I don’t want to disappoint Opera.”

Zenno Rob Roy’s eyes lit up just a little bit- with what, I couldn’t tell. “Okay. One more.”

If this was going to be our last book of the evening, I was going to have to make it count... We’d scoured at least two dozen books for more than a passing mention of our elusive pair by this point, so our ‘unread’ pile was rather small.

I arbitrarily picked a book at random, since it seemed none of these had any better chances of being revelatory than another. It was a small, leather-bound book with aged paper, held shut with a clasp.

I flipped it over a couple times. No title on the spine, no information on the back of it. I undid the buckle and cracked it open.

“Ah... I think maybe you should be careful with that one,” Zenno Rob Roy protested tenuously. “It looks pretty old...”

“[To... whomsoever it may concern,]” I began, “[The text upon which you lay your eyes upon is the journaled account of myself- Oscar Cooke, and an account of the wonders and horrors I witnessed during the greatest and noblest of wars yet waged by mankind.]” I scoffed. Yeah, waged only by mankind... “[I pen this... foreword now in the twilit years of my life- while I have not the time left to pen my experiences in a more formal manner, it is my sincerest hope that one day, men of learning and scholarly experience may use this account of my experiences to tell the tale of the great man who led our Revolution.]”

“Well, that’s promising!” Zenno Rob Roy smiled, writing down Oscar’s name in our notes.

“Maybe not.” I frowned. “Our guy seems more interested in talking about Washington like everyone else. And sorry to disappoint you, Oscar, but it’s not men of learning using your account...”

“Joie, I’m not sure there’s much use in poking fun at a 200-year-old book...” Rob Roy giggled.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll get to reading...”

=====

Fourth of May, Seventeen-Seventy Five

Shortly after I awoke this morning, Mr. Washington urged me to prepare the umamusume for a trip to Philadelphia; only that this was a matter of utmost urgency.

Blueskin objected most of all to the early rousing; as Washington’s favored umamusume, it was unlikely that she was to be made to pull the carriage with the others, but she nonetheless took poorly to the morning air and complained overmuch. Old Nelson, on the other hand, was as reliable and even-tempered as always, and complained little. The two got into a row after Old Nelson implied that Blueskin will be able to sleep on the ride over- which resulted in Blueskin indignantly insisting upon pulling the cart regardless, just to prove Old Nelson a fool.

Mr. Washington was somewhat confused, as he’d assumed that Blueskin would be riding inside the carriage with him and that another would labor by Old Nelson’s side, but was amused enough by Blueskin’s insistence that she could perform the work just as well as her colleague that he allowed her to do so. I saw no reason to put a stop to this; if anything, Blueskin’s endurance outstrips that of her fellows, and her vanity is the primary trait which makes her unsuitable for most work such as this. It is well that she learns some manner of work ethic, even if it is out of spite that she does so. Her beauty may last longer than that of a human woman’s, but it will not continue to serve her into her old age.

For what purpose Mr. Washington made such haste to Philadelphia is unknown to me; it is likely he is concerned with matters of congress. I have heard whispers myself among the umamusume discussing rumors of a punitive campaign wrought by the Crown upon the peoples of Boston, including the horrors of a siege! Such intolerable cruelties being visited upon our people is frightening indeed. I hope these rumors prove untrue, if only because they promise a grim future for the people of the Thirteen Colonies.

Nonetheless, I am charged with attending to the lodgings of the umamusume while Mr. Washington deliberates with his fellows. I am unsure how much this disruption to their routine will affect these two; for her part Blueskin seems to be enjoying the change of scenery. Erstwhile, Old Nelson finds difficulty finding rest in places unfamiliar to her. Perhaps if the two share lodgings, that shall be enough to calm her.

=====

“See?” Zenno Rob Roy smiled. “This is a promising start!”

“I suppose so,” I mused. “Blueskin being vain is probably the first actual thing we’ve heard about her that wasn’t specifically attached to George Washington.”

“And it seems she had a bit of a rivalry with Old Nelson!” Rob Roy giggled.

“Eh. I wouldn’t say that, she just didn’t want to be looked down on, I think.”

Rob Roy just gave me a knowing smile.

“So, you suppose this Oscar guy is something like a Trainer to these two...?” I wondered. “I don’t know if they’d have quite the same system, but it seems he’s in charge of taking care of the umamusume on Washington’s estate.”

“That makes sense.” Rob Roy scribbled down more notes. “Let’s keep going!”

=====

Sixteenth of June, Seventeen-Seventy Five

Mr. Washington has been appointed by congress to be the commander of the Continental Army. It truly seems that the intention is to liberate our selves and peoples from the tyranny of the Crown. It sits ill with me, and worry lies in my heart that open rebellion will only incite a greater retaliation from those men overseas whom see us as spiteful children. Mr. Washington also carries doubt in his heart, though his is born of humility; he thinks himself unequal to the task bestowed upon him - he has even declined any...

“Hm, new word. Here.”

“Um... Starts with Pe... I think this is it? Pecuniary; relating to or consisting of money.”

“Right...”

... pecuniary compensation for his services rendered to the peoples of the Thirteen Colonies.

Blueskin insists loudly that he is humble overmuch, and that his many accomplishments in the line of duty has well earned him this position; Old Nelson is in agreement as well, though both of them have only known the statesman and gentleman Mr. Washington, and know the soldier only by words of his deeds.

Impassioned as they were, they both insisted upon accompanying Mr. Washington throughout this duty until it was completed. Upon this matter, I interjected, for neither of them know what pains await them  as myself and Mr. Washington do, should they choose this path. Blueskin launched into a speech of impassioned rationale, that she too is a child of Virginia, and is so too compelled to take up arms in defense of men’s rights and freedoms. This was what caused me to relent; I worry nonetheless, as she is unready for what awaits her; the majority of her labors have been those of idle amusements and trivial tasks.

What is more; I worry as I think Mr. Washington does that one of the many misfortunes of war may visit these two young umamusume and rob them of what life is ahead of them. Perhaps if I am stricter with my discipline of the two, that may at least discourage Blueskin enough to see sense and return to Mount Vernon. Old Nelson, I think, will be a much more capable soldier, but she too requires training in the ways of which an umamusume might make war.

-----

Sixth of December, Seventeen-Seventy Five

To my continued delight and aggravation, Blueskin and Old Nelson take well to training. Both are as skilled with the saber as another, and it is often that Blueskin or Old Nelson goad one-another into lengthsome duels in which they both exhaust one another. I think it sits ill with Old Nelson that Blueskin, whom she had dismissed as worth little more than what her beauty can provide, consistently matches her in swordsmanship and speed both. What Blueskin lacks in strength and reach in comparison to her adversary, she makes up for in finesse, and both cut striking figures upon the training field. Their matches frequently leave the snowy fields torn and battered, as though battle had already visited them.

Nonetheless, there is no greater teacher than experience, and I worry that training will fail them when it comes to the grim tasks of warfare; though Lord Washington has brought them on game hunts, to kill a man is different from killing a beast.

They are not the only umamusume from Mount Vernon to have accompanied Mr. Washington upon this duty, but they are so far the most promising soldiers. There are other umamusume who have made volunteers of themselves as well; though most are ill-trained and from peasant backgrounds. I do not have time to train all of them; at least my two students have taken to drilling the recruits themselves. Blueskin, in these moments, imitates her commander quite well.

Mr. Washington has taken to discussing strategy and playing war-games with them as well. I worry that he places an undue burden ‘pon their frail minds-

“Tch.”

“It was a different time, Joie...”

“I’m just gonna skip over that bit...”

- He sees in them the potential to be leaders in their own right, once the occasion to prove themselves in battle comes.

Furthermore, I must confide some level of jealousy, for I must conclude that Mr. Washington favors these two umamusume over myself, in some matters allowing Blueskin to speak with his authority to his men. Several times I have seen indignation grow within the ranks as they suffer the indignity of taking orders from-

“Ugh, really?”

“I suppose it can’t be helped. This is just what people thought at the time...”

“I don’t need to hear about how much this guy wishes he were Mr. Washington’s favorite umamusume. I’m skipping to the next entry.”

“Th-that, um, seems like a bit of a leap in logic...”

“I mean, I’d be jealous in his shoes, too. Being an umamusume is just... cooler than being some dude.”

“Hm, well... I’m sure being a man has its charms, too?”

“Really? Name one.”

“I mean, it’s not like I’d know! I’ve never thought about it!”

“And the point goes to Joie de Vivre!”

“Ahaha...”

-----

Seventeenth of March, Seventeen-Seventy Six

The Loyalists and Crown soldiers have abandoned Boston!

In the face of a fortified position with artillery and superior numbers, our foe has chosen to heed the better part of valour and flee. Mr. Washington entered the city with Blueskin by his side along with 500 men.

I could tell that this sat ill with Old Nelson, though when I asked what ailed her heart, she did not give me a response worthy of the name. It is my suspicion either that she was fraught with concern over the possibility that Mr. Washington and Blueskin may have blundered into an ambush, or that she is annoyed that Mr. Washington chose the younger and more beautiful umamusume to stand by his side during their moment of victory. Perhaps the answer lies betwixt these two possibilities.

Both of these umamusume have performed well during the siege, having taken part in numerous raids to deny the Loyalists supplies. Blueskin, however, has adapted poorly to the stresses and rigours of the campaign; she flinches whenever a cannon sounds its report, and she is fraught with anxious thoughts about the possibility of enemy attacks. She strikes a gallant and inspiring figure akin to that of a prince when she is astride a rock alongside our commander, but more time is spent assuaging her bouts of hysteria than is spent upon more important matters.

Old Nelson, by comparison, is muchly the more reliable soldier; She does not so much as flinch in the face of danger. While Blueskin performs a compelling impression of gallantry, it is Old Nelson whose bravery is true. I share her unstated opinion that she is the one who ought be credited with the bulk of the umamusume contingent’s achievements. 

Nonetheless, I can understand Mr. Washington’s decision. Blueskin has become a favorite of the men; her gallantry and charisma is inspiring and she has had an undoubtedly buoyant effect upon morale during this long siege, especially as many of the men have family and friends in the very city we make camp outside whom they fret over the wellbeing of. She is as much a symbol of the Continental Army as Mr. Washington himself is.

In some ways, I think Mr. Washington thinks of her as his daughter - and if rumors among the militiamen are to be believed, she literally is- having been sired in a tryst between him and an umamusume. I will not deny the resemblance, but to speak ill of Mr. Washington’s character thus is unforgivable. I can only hope that these reprobates will be met with due punishment for their loose tongues - such a punishment would be bad for morale right now, but perhaps now that Boston is freed, Mr. Washington will address this issue.

It does not help, though, that Mr. Washington has confided in me his intention to commission a uniform for her to wear that resembles a mirroring of his own, so as to reinforce her position as an extension of his authority. I have advised him against this, both due to the extant rumors, as well as the impropriety of bestowing...

“Siiiigh.”

“Be strong, Joie! You can do it!”

... A lowly umamusume with a position over that of her betters...

“SIIIIIGH.”

“Different time, Joie.”

“Really, it’s humans who ought to acknowledge us as their betters...”

“Please don’t even joke about that.”

“Fine, fine.”

-----

Twenty-Fifth of December, Seventeen-Seventy Six

Disaster has struck us. The British have captured New York and driven us over the Delaware.

Mr. Washington remains resolute despite the situation, and despite his own culpability in the errors that have led us to this misfortune. A single ill-advised assault upon the British position has cascaded into a forced retreat- Morale is at an all-time low, and I am starting to see fewer faces among our men as the craven desert our cause. I cannot fully condemn their actions, however craven they may be- the future is grim as supplies wane and the overwhelming might of the British Empire looms behind us. One could be forgiven for thinking that Freedom was a pipe dream after all.

Blueskin in particular is inconsolable, for she most strongly advocated for the erroneous decision that led to this blunder. Mr. Washington assumes the blame with dignity and honor, but Blueskin wears the mantle of guilt poorly. Were she not pulled upon a boat by Old Nelson, I fear that she may have charged the enemy position on her own in her misguided quest for either vengeance or absolution.

My words have done little to console her. At this time, it is Old Nelson who she turns to for comfort. I suppose since I am not an umamusume, I cannot understand the heart of one, no matter how much time I spend with them, nor how much I-

“Hmm, this bit’s scribbled out.”

I have no more time to write. We rise at dawn; we must take the enemy encampment in Trenton by surprise if we have any hope of survival.

=====

I set the journal down, rubbing my eyes and suppressing a yawn. “I thought Blueskin and Old Nelson hated one another’s guts- I kinda got the impression they were bickering all the time. Now Old Nelson is the one consoling Blueskin, even though Blueskin’s the one who took her position as Washington’s right-hand uma?”

“Hmm... I think it’s more complicated than that.” Zenno Rob Roy pondered. “A lot can change over the course of a year.”

“So you’re saying they started getting along better?” I pondered.

“Hm... Maybe it’s too soon to say for sure.” Zenno Rob Roy leaned over to peer at the book.

“Alright...” I covered my mouth as a yawn forced its way out. “Let’s keep going.”

=====

Third of January, Seventeen-Seventy Eight

One would scarcely believe that not a fortnight-

“Snrk.”

“Joie, is it really funny just because it sounds like that game that Helios plays all the time?”

“Look, the other day in dance class she tried to teach me the “default dance” from it. I just can’t take the word seriously anymore. Now I’m thinking of Washington doing that dance and- Pfffthahahaha!”

“... Hehehehe- Okay, that’s... actually pretty funny...”

“Whew. Okay. Let me try that again.”

One would scarcely believe that not a fortnight ago, we were contemplating whether our mission had failed. We have struck a decisive blow against the British and revived the morale of the Patriots. However, this has come at a great cost; General Mercer has perished in the assault, as British forces had mistaken him for Mr. Washington. While his umamusume attendant, Bonnie Scot, had taken the bullet for him, he was then stabbed to death by bayonets when he refused to surrender.

Blueskin is putting up a brave face, especially after the disgraceful display at the crossing of the Delaware, but it is clear that Bonnie Scot’s death weighs heavily upon her shoulders. The two were not fast friends, but Blueskin had nonetheless felt responsible for Bonnie Scot’s demise, as it was a resemblance between the two that likely led to the British mistaking her identity. I assured her that at the very least, Bonnie Scot gave her life in service to her General, even if it was in vain.

Perhaps it does not help that it is now Old Nelson who works more closely with Mr. Washington, as Old Nelson has a level head and an even keel, and is more capable of raising objection to Mr. Washington’s less well-thought plans. Blueskin finds herself performing a perfunctory role within the Continental Army, serving to make speeches and boost morale while being kept from meaningful command and the front lines.

Nonetheless, Blueskin’s removal from the army seems unlikely, even were she rendered unfit for duty. Old Nelson refuses to quarter in any tent that does not also accommodate Blueskin. Perhaps I was too lenient on this aversion to unfamiliarity of hers? Nonetheless, I foresee Mr. Washington indulging her, due to his favor for the pair.

=====

“Digital would have a field day with this.” I raised my eyebrow dryly.

“Yep.” Rob Roy immediately agreed.

“So... now they’re lovers? So much for their rivalry.”

“Well...” Rob Roy tilted her head to the side, looking up as she prepared to raise a technicality.

“Yes, and Sappho was very good friends with all the ladies on her island. Can we just call a duck a duck, here?” I gestured at the book.

“I think they’re still rivals, in a way, otherwise Blueskin wouldn’t be upset that Old Nelson is getting her old responsibilities? The way I see it, they might love one another, but they’re also trying to be better than one another. It’s a trope you see a lot, actually!”

“Hardly sounds like a healthy relationship...” I mumbled. “Yes, good morning, honey. I made you a lovely breakfast, and also eat shit, I beat your high score.” 

Rob Roy giggled. “Now you’re getting it!”

“... I guess.” I sighed. “I get the feeling of wanting to beat someone, but... I dunno, it kinda feels like wanting to kiss them is mutually exclusive?”

“You can feel different ways about someone at different times.” Rob Roy thought. “I mean, you’re still friends with Lily, right...?”

The unspoken part of that, and the slight worry in Rob Roy’s eyes, was that I hadn’t thought of her as a friend after competing against her- or did she worry that I hadn’t seen her as a competitor?

Was... was this the normal thing for umamusume, and I was the weird one?

“No, you’re right...” I relented. “But... I don’t know how you could really stay friends with someone if they took an important victory from you.”

“Well...” Zenno Rob Roy looked down. “I can’t say I’ve been there myself, but... I think it just means that you have two different outcomes where you get to be happy.”

Her words brought to mind Opera’s Derby, and how despite losing her chance at the Triple Crown, Opera was happy for Admire Vega...

But it was easy to just say that without being there. It still hurt. I still saw Opera trying desperately to hold back her pain so she could keep being happy for her friend.

And... I found it hard to put myself in those shoes. If someone was really my friend, they’d just let me be happy... wouldn’t they?

“We should probably finish this book. I think it’s getting dark out.” I took a glance at my phone. We’d be cutting it close...

“Right!”

=====

Twenty-Seventh of March, Seventeen-Seventy Eight

We have received word of the French offer of a defensive alliance and support of our independence. This marks a turning point in the war...

-----

Twenty-Eighth of June, Seventeen-Seventy Eight

This victory marks a turning point in the conflict; no longer are the middle and northern states a theatre of battle. Mr. Washington now turns his attention south, and intends to court the attention of British turncoats who may be able to supply information...

-----

Seventeenth of June, Seventeen-Eighty

The British have assumed control of the North Carolina Piedmont, but with the arrival of French troops and supplies, Mr. Washington is optimistic about the future.

Blueskin has expressed interest in the fashions and manner of the French umamusume, in a way I have scarcely seen from her since the war began. She is infrequently deployed on the field, now, typically only accompanying Mr. Washington during addresses or speeches. Her hands shake when she handles a musket, and she cannot help but flinch when firing one, making her aim scattershot at best. I suspect she grows frustrated at being unable to do what Old Nelson can.

Indeed, Old Nelson has become Mr. Washington’s favored umamusume to take his side during warfare, frequently leading charges. Her form is truly splendid during the heat of combat, and she remains composed at all times, unlike the skittish tendencies of Blueskin. Blueskin has grown despondent about her perfunctory role, but was encouraged when I expressed to her that she is most likely what drives Old Nelson to the heights of excellence of which only she is capable of...

-----

Nineteenth of October, Seventeen-Eighty One

With the surrender of the British forces in Yorktown, there remains not a single stronghold of the British forces upon this continent. Unless the British were to send more troops from the homeland and risk opening themselves to an invasion from the French, we have all but won a complete and total victory.

While it is too early to declare victory just yet, the overall mood is jubilant. Men express unfettered joy at the prospect of returning home to their wives and children, and elation at freedom from the British crown’s unjust laws and taxation. Soon, the task upon us will not be that of warfare, but that of statecraft. Mr. Washington already looks to the future in this matter.

As for Blueskin and Old Nelson, it seems that Blueskin’s youthful beauty was taken from her early. The rigors of war have rendered her old in manner if not in countenance; she no longer glows with the confidence with which she used to. Wrinkles crease her face in ways which she might once fret over, but she now considers them badges of honor for her service to her home. She is rarely seen apart from Old Nelson, who came out much more unaffected. It is likely that it is her steadying presence that lends Blueskin strength these days- or perhaps Blueskin’s quiet admiration and support. Despite their differences, the two have forged a truly enviable friendship, the likes of which I think men ought emulate more frequently.

“Friendship? Yeah, sure, that’s what we’ll call it, Oscar...”

Mr. Washington has promised them and their children a place at Mount Vernon as long as they live, for their service to this nascent nation has earned them a lifetime’s retirement. I should think that Blueskin would never like to hear another fife nor snare drum in her life, and will be all the happier for it, spent as her youth was upon this campaign.

=====

“I think that’s the last entry with any mention of the two...” I flipped slowly through the pages of the journal, yawning once again. “The rest is all about George Washington after the war. I guess the two of them took up his offer and retired.”

“Did they have any kids...?” Zenno Rob Roy yawned as well.

“You really gotta ask...?” I mumbled.

“I guess you’re right...” Zenno Rob Roy hummed sleepily. “I wonder if the cafeteria’s still open...”

“I’m afraid not,” A third, familiar voice came from behind us.

“That’s a shame...” Zenno Rob Roy mumbled. “I’m really hungry-”

We both bolted upright, suddenly very awake as we realized who was behind us.

“It’s a good thing you two told us where you were going,” Tazuna said with a thin-lipped smile that told us that we were in big trouble, “Otherwise Fuji Kiseki and Hishi Amazon might have to start searching all of Tokyo for you.”

I quickly checked my phone- we were half an hour late for lights-out?! How did we lose track of time that bad?!

“And let me guess,” Tazuna sighed from looking at the huge pile of books that we’d built around ourselves, “You haven’t eaten dinner, either?”

Rob Roy and I just didn’t say anything. The guilty look on our faces was enough.

“Right, well... You two are getting some ramen, and then you’re going to bed.” Tazuna wagged her finger.

“Wait, you’re treating us to food...?” I mumbled, confused.

“Despite it being your own fault, there’s no excuse for not being fed. You need as much energy as possible for your growth as runners.” Tazuna’s finger did not stop wagging- in fact, it began to take on a hypnotic quality that began lulling me to sleep... Or maybe that was the fatigue of ten straight hours of researching two obscure umamusume.

“And then after that... You two have detention to look forward to for the rest of the week.”

“Wait, really? We’re getting detention for studying too much?!” I complained.

“You’ve already used your ‘first time’ excuse, young lady!”

I considered it a bit strange that we were even allowed to be put into detention. It wasn’t like we were in high school...

“... Well, I guess we should pack up all these books for the librarian, at least...” Zenno Rob Roy sighed as she shuffled our notes together.

“Good idea. I’ll help you two. No more dilly-dallying, come on.” Tazuna lifted one of the massive stacks of books... which made me wonder how the hell she was doing that. I didn’t have the time to ask her about it, though, and I was already on thin ice without asking any weird questions. Maybe she was just really strong for a human...

“Well, even if we wound up getting into trouble for it... At least we found something?” Rob Roy smiled weakly. “We finally uncovered the story of Blueskin and Old Nelson! I’m sure Opera will be happy with these notes.”

“Shh!” I hissed. “Let’s not get Opera in trouble too...!”

“Hm? What was that?” Tazuna turned with her malevolent smile once again.Detention was bad enough, but maybe I could sleep through it. Detention with Opera... Well, it was going to be interesting, at least.

Notes:

Obviously, this is a heavily fictionalized and generalized account of events. In reality, Old Nelson only arrived in George's care somewhere in the middle of the war, though I do find it interesting that Blueskin is the one he's more frequently depicted with. Also, writing in an 18th century voice is really hard!

Oscar Cooke is a complete fabrication, and as far as I can tell, he never existed in reality. If I accidentally used the name of an actual historical figure, um... oops?

Also, here's my impression of a design of these two, because I could.

-----

NOELLE'S NOTES ON JOIE DE VIVRE:

Style Aptitudes:
FRONT: A | PACE: D | LATE: G | END: C

More work is required to determine her other aptitudes, I think- I'm guessing based off of her temperament, here, but I'm confident that she'll be an amazing front-runner. It's too early to consider Great Escape strategies, I think- we need to work on building up her stamina for that...

For that matter, we've been laser-focused on training her for mile-distance races, but I need to test her capabilities to hold pace for long periods of time as well- if she's going to perform well in the Oaks, she's going to need to add 800 more meters onto her run.

New Condition: Night Owl

She's messed up her sleep schedule somehow, and keeps showing up to practice bleary-eyed from reading history books all night...

Chapter 18: Dreams

Summary:

I believe our dreams lie up ahead.

Under the right conditions, an umamusume’s body is capable of ‘steaming’- That is to say, she produces so much sweat at a high enough temperature that it evaporates off of her. If the surrounding air is cold enough, then this literally forms clouds of steam, like one’s breath on a cold day, but with your whole body. I always found this to be really cool - It was like a battle aura of some kind from the cartoons I used to watch as a kid.

Of course, now that I was experiencing what it was like, it was significantly less cool. Actually, it was rather hot...

“Traaaaaineeeeerrr,” Tojen Lily moaned, sweat pouring off of her by the bucketful, “Can’t we do like... some kind of indoor training today?”

I quite enjoyed the feeling of watching steam pour off of my arms and legs. It made me feel powerful and spectacular in a way that I hadn’t felt before, and always improved my mood after a run- but it turned out, if it was humid enough, there was simply no more room for your sweat to go into the air, and what used to be the refreshing experience of cooling yourself down turned into what crabs must feel like when they’re boiled alive.

I poured water into my mouth. Unfortunately, the bottle had been left in the sun, so it was just as warm as the sweat I was drenched in. This wasn’t going to help at all.

“Come on, girls,” Noelle laughed from behind the comfort of a sunhat, a portable fan, and having not just jogged 2 kilometers. “You’re going to have to put up with heat like this as racers, aren’t you?”

“I think I understand why none of the big races are held at the end of summer...” I groaned. “I feel like I’m being cooked alive.”

“Yeah. Summer races are... dumb.” Lily mumbled incoherently. She flopped onto one of the bleachers, but quickly yelped as she realized that yes, the metal that was being hit with the sun all day was going to be hot and not at all suitable for her to lay down on.

“Well, dumb or not, you’re going to be racing in this heat, it seems...” Noelle sighed, holding up a sheaf of papers. “Tazuna just handed me the schedule of your maiden races this morning.”

“Oh, goodie,” I sarcastically celebrated as I took one of the papers from Noelle. It had a list of entrants on it... There I was, having drawn bracket six, position 12. I scanned the list of names... Nobody I knew-

Except Bracket 5, Position 10. Tojen Lily. 

Lily and I apparently made the realization at the same time, and slowly looked up at one another. “Rotten luck, I know...” Noelle sighed out. “I’d prefer you both to have won your maiden on the same day, but... I waited until after training to tell you for a reason.”

“Ah... Ahaha...” Lily laughed nervously. “Maybe I should, uh... Drop out?”

I glanced back down at the piece of paper in my hands. Maybe before now, I’d have encouraged something like that... I didn’t want another Maiden win to be stolen from me by someone I knew, but... Something in Lily’s voice told me that she didn’t really want to do that.

“Hey, Lily, how many Umastagram followers do you have again?” Noelle asked.

“Um... about 500, why?” Lily answered.

“That’s 500 people who want to see you race, Lily.” Noelle pointed a finger. “If you’re trying to spare Joie’s feelings, then you’re going to be hurting 500 more people’s feelings instead.”

“... Sparing my feelings, huh...” I mumbled out, staring at the paper. This wasn’t naked pity, but it was still... coddling me, in a way, and that annoyed me.

... It felt deserved, somehow.

Noelle glanced over at me and briefly studied my expression, but continued talking to Lily. “I know you two are friends, but you need to get used to competing with one another. If you’re both shooting for the Tiara tour, it’s going to keep happening- unless one of you wants to give up?”

The whistling wind carried through the conversation - and, for a blessing, carried away some of this suffocating heat that was still clinging to me.

“... I’m not giving up.” I gripped the paper tightly in my hands. “I made a vow that I’d win the Triple Tiara. If I go back on it now...”

I didn’t voice the second half of that sentence. Instead, I turned to look Lily in the eyes, but my gaze was met with drooping ears and a downturned head.

“That’s... That’s just it.” Tojen Lily couldn’t bear to look at me as she mumbled. “I... I don’t have anything like that. I’m just... racing because my aunt did. Because I’m supposed to be good at it. Because I’m supposed to be as good as a Mejiro.”

Noelle and I both widened our eyes in surprise. “W-Wait,” Noelle stammered, “Like Mejiro McQueen?”

“More like Mejiro Ryan,” Lily laughed half-heartedly. “And I’m not even that closely related to the family. It’s on my dad’s side, his mom was a Mejiro, but he married a human so... He kind of got kicked out... But hey, turns out he’s still got the Mejiro genes, so, um... here I am!” Lily laughed, face flushed - I couldn’t tell if it was from the heat or from the embarrassment of spilling her guts like this. 

“Your family kicked him out...?” Noelle’s expression lay somewhere between sympathy and anger. “Why, those...”

“Well, it’s more that they... heavily discouraged it, and he went along with it anyway, and he didn’t really like the looks he got whenever he and my mom went to family gatherings, so he just kinda cut ties with them...” Lily laughed nervously again. “It’s, um, mostly his fault, really,”

It was pretty clear to me that she wasn’t supposed to have said any of that, and was desperately playing damage control in case someone was listening. For a reason I could not explain, I felt immense sympathy for Lily in that moment...

Meanwhile, this conversation really seemed to get under Noelle’s skin in a way that I hadn’t seen before. “[S’pose rich bast’rds like them lot‘re the same wherever y’go...]” She’d mumbled something in English, though her accent made it a bit difficult for me to tell what she had said.

“Huh?” Lily perked her ears up. She didn’t know English nearly as well as I did, so I knew for a fact that she didn’t understand what Noelle had said at all. I decided not to play translator that time, since it didn’t seem like Noelle really meant to speak that aloud...

“Oh, nothing.” Noelle put on her best smile, though I could tell that she was still annoyed. “So... What, then? You don’t want to disappoint your auntie? Is that really the only reason you’re here?”

“Ah, well... The education is good enough here that I can basically get into whatever career I want after my running days are over, so...” Lily put her fingers together. “I mean... I did come in hoping to take at least a few trophies home, make Auntie Amber proud, but...”

“But?” Noelle pressed.

“I mean...” Lily looked over at me, gesturing vaguely. “Come on. We’re not even on the same level anymore. I’m going to lose.”

I blinked. That’s not what I was expecting her to say.

“Every run we’re on, Joie is doing fine while I’m barely holding myself together. She was a complete amateur when we met her, and I’d been running all my life- not that you could tell from our performance now...” Lily’s eyes drifted to the ground again. “And if it keeps going like this, I...”

It felt like this was the first time I’d gotten any real recognition for my running, but... it didn’t feel good, being used as a yardstick for Lily to beat herself with.

“I mean,” I laughed nervously, bringing out my phone. “You definitely have more fans than me...”

I opened my Umastagram, and checked my follower count. Yep, same as last time I checked it, just seven- Opera, Doto, Lily, Rob Roy, Neo Universe, Agnes Digital, and some account called ‘notaburner54’. Really, the fact that I had any followers at all that weren’t in my friend group was astounding to me... “See?”

“That’s because you don’t post anything,” Lily sardonically offered. “Seriously, I bet if you took a selfie right now it’d blow up within minutes.”

“Eugh, no. I probably look like some kind of primordial fish-thing with how much I’m sweating.” I quickly put the phone away. “My point is, you’re clearly doing something better than I am, so... I still have a thing or two I could learn from you.”

Tojen Lily continued her staring contest with the grass. It’s clear that my argument wasn’t working.

Noelle, meanwhile, gave a long, drawn-out sigh of exasperation. “Lily, if you really want to drop out of this race just because you don’t want to compete against Joie, for whatever reason, then fine. But if you do, then we’re through.”

“Wait, what?” Lily looked a bit startled by Noelle’s sudden ultimatum. “Just like that?!”

“The moment you pull out of one race just because you’re scared, that opens a door you can’t close.” Noelle pointed a finger, “Every time you think you can’t win, you’re just going to do it again. I don’t want to train a coward who only picks races against people she knows she can beat.”

Noelle’s scathing remark hit home, even if it was directed at Lily. With how long I’d put off participating in scrimmages, afraid to embarrass myself... She was right. I’d been a coward as well. We’d already seen firsthand how badly that line of thinking had stunted my growth as a runner.

“If you don’t think that you can win against Joie, then try anyway. She was first favorite in her debut, and she lost. Upsets happen all the time.” Being reminded of that hurt a little bit. “Believe in the impossible, Lily. Try to come up with a way to beat her, break your limits, do whatever it takes- because once you start running from those challenges, that’s all you’ll ever do, and I’m not going to help you do it.”

Lily had been backed into a corner, and stammered to form a response. I felt guilty... She was in this position because of me, now. If I won, then she’d be disappointing her aunt... But it wasn’t like I could back down from my vow just to spare Lily’s feelings, either. If it hurt me to be looked down on like that, it probably would have hurt her, too.

... I wondered if that was how Blueskin felt, after being taken off of the front lines. Like she was being coddled, frustrated with how she wasn’t able to do what she ought to...

I’d already tried to encourage Lily, but my words had failed. I couldn’t find what to say to give her courage.

... Maybe I couldn’t, but Opera could.

“Lily,” I approached Lily and took her by the hand, which immediately grabbed her attention. “I know this dilemma pains you, but... I would very much like to cross the finish line together with you, and stand upon that stage as co-stars.”

Lily was wide-eyed and blushing, caught off-guard by my sudden change in demeanor. She didn’t say anything.

“I know in the past, I’ve let my temper get the better of me... But were I to lose to you now, then I should only be proud of what we have achieved together. I would have no-one else take center stage from me.” I didn’t know if I really believed what I was saying. For the purposes of right now, I had to. If I believed it, then it was true.

Lily finally broke eye contact and tore away her hand, the sudden gust of the movement snuffing out my candle. She cradled her hand in her chest for a moment, before finally finding the courage to meet my gaze again.

“... Okay, Joie. Let’s cross the finish line together, then.” A faltering smile formed on her lips. She didn’t really believe what she said... but she was trying, and that was good enough.

-----

Maiden Race

The day had finally come. The train ride over to Niigata had been tense, but Lily and I had both made our separate preparations, and Lily ultimately decided not to back down. As we walked down the hallways into our green rooms, we shook hands and affirmed that we were going to cross the finish line together.

Niigata Racetrack, 1600 meters on Turf, Left-handed

I avoided any brash boasting in the paddock this time. I could tell people weren’t really looking at me. The favorite today was named ‘Peacock Red’. Noelle had given me the down-low on her; this would be her fourth maiden race... the first one having been in late June, meaning she’d been running constant races to try and get her first win.

That kind of pace was unsustainable. Even I could recognize that. But that didn’t mean I could afford to underestimate her - it just meant that she was desperate. And a desperate umamusume could do anything, so I needed to be careful around her.

Early August, Sunny weather, Firm Going

I had been evaluated as fifth favorite. The judges seemed to agree that I was in the best form out of all the racers, but my terrible performance in my debut didn’t exactly inspire confidence, neither in the fans nor in the judges. I’d have to prove them wrong.

Lily would have to do much the same, having been evaluated eleventh favorite out of sixteen runners. 

As I emerged from the underpass onto the turf, I looked over to see if I could find anyone familiar in the stands. If Opera and Doto were here, they wouldn’t be sitting with the others- Accomplished racers, especially ones with large fanbases, rarely sat with the crowd, since it meant they’d get swarmed with fans and reporters. 

The exception to this, of course, was the pink-haired gremlin waving her uchiwa enthusiastically. I couldn’t make out the text on them from here, but I liked to think that she’d gotten special ones just for me, even if I knew for a fact that she didn’t ‘simp’ preferentially. I gave her a smile and a wave as I wondered how she could do that with such energy at 10 in the morning... 

But then again, the fact that I’d been struggling to get up earlier than 9 am was basically my own fault. I’d yet to recover from how badly I’d messed up my sleep schedule back in July... The fact that Noelle had eased off my training in the leadup to this race didn’t help. I just had more energy than I knew what to do with.

Well, that was a lie. I knew what I was doing with today’s energy.

I was getting farther away from the stands... Soon it’d be too hard to make out any spectators, so I squinted to try and at least pick out Noelle.

Ah, there she was... Standing next to... Someone in a suit? Who was that?

=====

Noelle wasn’t really sure who this strange woman was.

“Hey there, mind if I ask ya a few questions?” This tall, wiry woman wore an easy grin, but her eyes showed years of experience that her youthful face hid. What’s more, even on a summer day, she seemed perfectly content to wear a wide-brimmed fedora and a tailored black suit with a long coat. She must’ve really liked black to wear that much on a summer day, even if it was still morning... It even matched this lady’s short black bob-cut, even if there was a streak of white on her left side. 

Noelle had heard that some people liked to dress nice for racing events, but today wasn’t a big event. The most prestigious race that was going to be run today was an Open. The most likely answer was that this was some kind of reporter. “I don’t recall scheduling an interview, so no,” Noelle eyed the stranger warily. 

“Oh, nah, I’m not a member of the press,” The woman held up her hands. “I’m actually a new fan’a one’a the racers here, but, well- I don’t really know a lotta ‘bout her, and she don’t post much on her umastagram...”

“Is that so?” Noelle retained her defensive posture... Something about this lady was keeping her on guard. Somehow, this woman’s steel-gray gaze felt like a knife was being held to Noelle’s throat... But maybe that was just because of this lady’s thick Kansai accent that made it hard to understand what she was saying. Noelle briefly pondered if she was being a bit unfair because of that.

“Yeah!” The strange lady grinned widely. “Gal’s name’s Joie de Vivre. She’s number, ehh... Nine, today?”

“Joie’s number twelve,” Noelle sharply corrected. “Number nine would be Cosmic Invitation.”

“Ah!” The mystery woman snapped her fingers. “Good eye, ma’am. I’m no good with numbers m’self- though, sounds like you know her pretty well, if you’re usin’ a nickname like that?”

“Well, um-” Noelle was put on the back foot, and stumbled a bit. Somehow, this lady had caught her off-guard... “I’m sorry, who are you?”

“Oh! My mistake, not introducin’ m’self. Terribly rude, apologies.” The mystery woman gave a bow, holding her hat to her head as she did so - though it was more of a western-style bow, rather than a japanese one. Western-style bow, but with a kansai accent...? Talk about eccentric.

“M’name’s Shimeiko, miss. And like I said, I’m just a fan... Wait, yer nametag... Ya wouldn’t happen t’be Joie de Vivre’s trainer, wouldja?”

“[Fukken’ loony fans...]” Noelle grumbled under her breath in English. It seemed she wouldn’t know peace today...

=====

I felt like I ought’ve been more nervous than I was.

Perhaps my lack of nerves was because I’d already experienced the soul-crushing humiliation of a worst-case scenario. There was no empty boast that I’d made on the paddock to haunt me. There was no Peaceful World to mock me. I wasn’t the favorite to win, and if I’d lost again, then nobody would think that much of it... 

No, that wasn’t really the answer. I still didn’t want to lose, but now, I wasn’t scared because I sincerely believed I would win. I had a new strategy. I had been training, and my times were still improving. I was going to shatter the ceiling this time.

In the moments before the race as the other umamusume entered the gates, I took the time to mentally review my strategy. Position twelve wasn’t ideal for me, since it’d be a long way to the inner rail, but so long as I didn’t try to move to the rail early and wind up stuck behind someone, I’d be in front. I could only see so much, though, so no matter what, I’d be guessing at least a little bit... But once I was in front, it should be smooth sailing until the last spurt - and then I’d have to worry about Peacock Red, but that was a problem for later.

The other way things could go wrong would be a late start. If that happened, I’d have to burn through my stamina just to make sure that first scenario didn’t happen... But Noelle had been specifically putting me through gate practice alongside my stamina training. I was prepared.

The other wrinkle in my strategy was, of course, Lily. She would be trying to lead the pack as well, and she’d have a better angle due to her lower position. Her acceleration was still on-par with mine, even if her stamina wasn’t. On some level, it’d be easier to just run behind her and overtake her during the final spurt...

“The final racer has entered her gate! 

But I wasn’t going to settle.

It smelled like rust and ocean breeze.

A hush fell over the stadium, and all fell silent- except for the distant, melancholy whine of the cicadas.

...

Now.

=

Tojen Lily thought she’d dashed out of the gates as soon as they opened, but a quick glance to her right told her that Joie de Vivre had beaten her to the punch, even if it was by a slim margin. A streak of blonde was pulling forwards already, and starting to move to the left. Joie was betting that her start was better than everyone else’s, and she was right.

Lily had seen this coming, but that didn’t make it any easier for her. Both of their strategies depended on getting to the front and staying there- Matching someone else’s pace wasn’t Lily’s strong suit, and her issues with stamina would only worsen if she was constantly accelerating and decelerating to try and match someone else. 

She’d have to let Joie get to the rail and pass her on the outside right before the first part of Niigata’s curve. That was the only way Lily could see herself winning this.

=

Nobody ahead of me, and everyone behind me. It was unsettling, feeling so many eyes on my back, but I couldn’t afford to light my candle now. I was already grinning from the sheer joy of being in front. It was where I belonged.

It was the first race of the day. The view was incredible, as though I were running through an endless field. The turf was fresh. Unmarked. Mine to claim-

No. Focus.

I arrived at the rail right before the long uphill. With so many thundering footsteps behind me, I couldn’t tell which sound was whose. They were all fairly close behind, but none held the same pressure that I’d felt from Meisho Doto. I could deal with this much...

A pair of footsteps getting closer. Someone was pulling up beside me - Brown-Pink hair, slightly taller than me. It was Lily. We did say we’d cross the finish line together, but was she seriously intending on dueling me on the hill? We’d both run out of stamina. That was one way of fulfilling that promise, I supposed, but I hoped that wasn’t what she was planning.

My answer came right before the curve as she snarled, pushing herself to overtake me and claim the rail ahead of me- to make me chase her.

And as the course skewed downhill to the left, there wasn’t much I could do about it...

Clever girl.

=

Peacock Red knew this blondie up front, Number 12, was going to be an issue. Last in her debut, but it was clear as day to anyone watching that it was because she didn’t belong anywhere near the middle of the pack. Red did her research thoroughly, and she’d correctly guessed that Number 12 would shoot for a front-running style this time.

As soon as Number 12 was out in front, Red kept her eyes squarely on this so-called Heiress. She’d set an impressive pace, and most of the others were already struggling to match it- except for pink-haired Number 10, who’d cut Number 12 off right before the curve. Smart idea. Red wished she’d have thought of it, but front-running wasn’t her style. She’d stay right behind the leader, and then put everything into that final dash- even if it killed her. She needed today’s win, or else...

Wait, what the hell was Number 12 doing?

=

Niigata racecourse had a tight curve. That much came with the territory of a small racecourse- and tight curves were difficult to run, especially ones on a downhill like Niigata’s. The faster you were going, the more you’d have to counteract centripetal force. Momentum wants to move you in a straight line forwards, so turning always takes deliberate effort. Most of the time, the technique to take such corners at speed was to lean into them - which, again, was harder to do on a downward slope without losing your footing. But you couldn’t afford not to, and let momentum carry you out - Running on the outside of a curve could add a hundred more meters onto your run depending on how far out you went. On top of all that, running downhill meant it was all the easier to run faster than you wanted as gravity helped you along the way.

What Lily had done here was a smart move on all accounts, even if that maneuver had cost her valuable energy. She was bigger and heavier than I was- really, most of my competitors were, which meant that she was having to put more effort into slowing down. She was going to have a much harder time taking the corner than I was, so putting herself in front forced the pack to match her pace instead of mine. I could ride her heels and push her forwards, but then we’d both lose as she ran out of stamina and dragged me into the pack with her. If I just accepted the situation and matched her pace, that meant she wasn’t having to match mine, and she’d have the advantage when it came to the final spurt.

She was doing this because we both knew I had more stamina than she did. But that was the problem with her plan. I had more stamina. And I wasn’t going to settle. 

I let centripetal force act on me, feeling myself drift out of the innermost lane of the track. I’d be using up more stamina by doing this, by pushing ahead on this tight a curve- I was essentially making a bet that I had the stamina to pull this off, and nobody else behind me had the speed to overtake me once I ran myself out. But hey, at least gravity was helping me out, here.

I felt Tojen Lily give me a mortified glance halfway through the curve as I pulled up beside her. We were both leaning so hard into the turn that I half-worried that we might crash into one another, but I couldn’t focus on that now. I had to push forward.

=

She was moving up?! Now?! Was she insane?!

Tojen Lily was in an impossible position here - she couldn’t afford to cede her position to Joie, but she was already testing the limits of her cornering ability. Going faster meant risking everything. But if she was behind Joie on the final stretch, Lily knew for a fact that she was going to lose. Joie was just better than Lily on almost all accounts.

There was no way around it. She was going to lose again. She didn’t have a chance to begin with. Lily didn’t look forward to that look of subtle disappointment from her aunt - sure, she’d offer Lily nothing but encouragement and praise, but... There was still that subtle feeling of sadness that she’d felt last time. A sense of disappointment that Lily just didn’t have it in her. That she took more after her mother... That she couldn’t measure up to the Meijiros.

Joie had already overtaken her metaphorically. It was just becoming literal as she saw that blur of flaxen hair on her right.

But... Lily wanted to cross the finish line with her. As the hill gave way to flat ground, as the curve gave way to a straight, Lily pulled out a primal scream from deep inside herself and gave everything she had. She was going to chase the setting sun.

=

Okay, so these two were fucking insane. Number 12 overtaking Number 10 on such a tight curve, And now Number 10 was howling like an animal as they broke away into a duel on the final straight?!

Where the hell did this come from?! Neither of their previous races were anything like this!

There wasn’t time to think about that. If Red didn’t do something now, these two would leave her in the dust...

But her legs-

“It’s the final spurt! Joie de Vivre and Tojen Lily are neck and neck!”

Just wouldn’t-

“But Joie de Vivre still has more in her! She’s continuing to accelerate!”

Move fast enough, damn it!

=

The roar of the crowd cut through the wind whipping around my ears. Now was the time to throw everything I had left- I’d burned a lot of stamina, trying to overtake Lily. My legs screamed in agony as I pushed them even harder-

=

Tojen Lily was trying. She was trying harder than she’d ever tried. She was running faster than she’d ever run. Her lungs were on fire, her legs wanted to give out, she felt sweat fly off of her cheekbones as the wind pushed it out of her face... But if she dropped now, she wouldn’t get to stand next to Joie, so she let momentum carry her forward, digging her feet into the turf at an impossibly shallow angle just to try and get a little bit more leverage.

It was working.  For once, the footsteps behind her were getting farther away, not closer...

“There’s nobody in sight! What a dominating victory! Joie de Vivre blows away the competition!”

... But so were the footsteps in front of her.

=

Sound blurred into meaningless nothing as speed became everything. This incredible, ecstatic feeling of racing to the finish, completely unfettered by anyone, anything... I could feel tears mixing with sweat and flying out of my eyes- perhaps pain, perhaps joy.

Someone was saying something, but it was already my habit to tune out the announcers. They weren’t saying anything that I didn’t already know from just looking at the track. The roar of the crowd, like a mighty waterfall, reached a fever pitch as I passed a blur on my left. Was that the goal? Oh, I’d crossed the finish line! And here I was, waiting for the moment my stamina ran out.

It was harder for me to stop than it was to keep going. My heels dug into turf like shovels as I put effort into slowing down. I looked to my left to find-

Nobody?

Wait, where was Lily?

Only after I turned all the way around did I see Lily cross the finish line, with Peacock Red a few lengths behind.

Was... Was I really going that fast...?

I looked up at the scoreboard as results filtered in.

Number 12, first place. Number 10, second place. The margin indicator read DST.

-----

“Well, you’ve beaten your target time, Joie. 1600 meters in a minute-thirty four and three-quarters.” Noelle smiled awkwardly as we sat in the green room. Tojen Lily sat to my left, chugging a bottle of sports drink. She’d really pushed herself to keep up with me, and yet, she’d still been left in the dust.

I wasn’t sure how to feel about this. Yes, I was happy - I’d won, after all, and showed that I had what it takes to compete at a G1 level in the process... Though that wouldn’t be proven until December. It remained to be seen how many people had their attention grabbed by my running. I’d have to wait for a projection of fan votes to come in. If I wanted to be extra safe, I could take on an extra race to help qualify me...

For some reason, I felt a strange assurance that I wasn’t going to have to worry about it.

“I’m, um...” Noelle sighed. “Yeah. Sorry, you two. I would like to give you my notes, but an annoying fan was distracting me the whole time.”

“A fan?” I blinked.

“Yeah, one of yours, apparently.” Noelle turned to look at me. “You’re going to have to post more on Umastagram, I think. Your fans are going to want to get to know you, and I don’t want to have to get a bodyguard just to fend off their questions.”

Oh, so the black suit lady was the mysterious ‘notaburner54’? Huh.

“Well...” I scratched the back of my head as I brought up my phone. “I guess I should post something about my win?”

“Oh, I have an idea!” Tojen Lily spoke up, desperately trying to remain cheerful despite the obvious pain in her voice.

“How about we both take selfies once we’re changed into our outfits for the winning concert?” Lily suggested. “I bet we’ll look super cute!”

“I’m not really sure how to take a selfie,” I protested. “I was just going to say something like... ‘I won my maiden race, I would appreciate it if you voted for me to participate in the Hanshin JF’?”

“Ah, so that’s your next goal...” Noelle nodded. “We’ll see how fan polls pan out.”

“What? That’s a super boring post. You need a cute selfie to go with it! Here, let’s practice.” Lily took out her own phone, shuffled up close to me until she was touching thighs with me, and held her phone up. I put on my best smile for the camera- though it didn’t help that despite this being a practice photo, I was already imagining the hundreds of people who might see it...

“Joie,” Lily deadpanned, “Relax a bit, girl. You look like you’re a slasher movie villain...”

“Um, like this?” I tried to relax my face.

“And now you look like a robot.” I saw Lily tie her brow into knots in the camera preview on her phone.

“Umm...”

“Joie,” Lily laughed, “Are you doing this on purpose?”

“No!” I protested. “I’m just trying to smile for the camera!”

“Well, now you look like a stranger just told you about their dying dog.”

“That’s a weirdly specific thing to say about my expression!”

Noelle’s laughter interrupted the two of us, and we both turned to scowl at her. “No, no, keep going, girls.”

“I don’t feel like it anymore.” Lily pouted. “I don’t know how you do it, Joie. You have the prettiest face in the world, so long as you don’t have a camera pointed at you.”

The unexpected (and backhanded) compliment caught me off-guard. “Um... Thanks, I guess-”

We were interrupted by a knock on the door. It wasn’t anywhere near time for the winning concert- Who on earth could this be?

“Who is it?” Noelle asked tersely. “[Swear t’fuckin goddesses, if’n i’s that loony fan ag’in...]”

I was starting to notice that Noelle had a tendency to mumble things in English when she was in a bad mood.

“Is Tojen Lily in there?” An unfamiliar voice worked its way through the door. Lily immediately sat straight upright and shuffled away from me.

“Yes, Auntie!” She replied a bit stiffly. “Come in!”

The doorknob turned, and the door slowly opened.

I could see the resemblance to Tojen Lily right away. An umamusume entered the room, with long ears and a round face like Lily’s. A thin streak of white broke up the hair on her forehead, while the remainder of her locks were a deep, lustrous orange-brown. She wore a series of glittering amber earrings on her right ear, and a tasteful black evening dress with a deep blue feather boa hanging off of one shoulder. Her eyes were a piercing golden color, like the depths of some forgotten vault full of unfathomable wealth.

She was also a good deal curvier than Lily, but I tried not to pay attention to that. 

“Nice to see you again!” Lily’s aunt said, smiling widely at her niece. “Oh, and this must be Joie de Vivre and your trainer! I’ve heard so much about you- It’s nice to meet you. I’m Amber Shadow.”

So this was the woman that Lily looked up to so much... I could see why. Even now, I could feel this presence around her, which I’d only felt around certain other umamusume... People like Opera, Rudolf, or Tachyon, though it was to a lesser extent. Like it was muffled by layers of cloth...

“H-Hi...” Lily shrank back into her seat. “Yeah, um... Amber Shadow is, um... my aunt.”

“You haven’t told anyone about me?” Amber looked over at Lily, looking only a little hurt.

“Actually, she did tell me that her aunt was a G1 winner...” I interjected. “Though she didn’t mention you by name.”

“It’s, um,” Lily fidgeted as she stumbled over her words. “I, um... didn’t want to make any trouble for you or dad, so I just... figured it’d be for the best if I didn’t talk about it...”

“Oh?” Amber’s expression darkened slightly. “Are the Meijiros giving you trouble? I’d figured at least the younger girls like Ryan and Dober would have the good sense not to bring family drama into things, but-”

“No!” Lily interjected. “No, it’s not like that. They, um... haven’t talked to me. At all! It’s totally fine.” Lily forced a smile.

I’d had a hunch for a while that the whole reason that Lily was so reluctant to name-drop her aunt was probably why I was so reluctant to name-drop Opera - well, besides the fact that Opera did the name-dropping for me. She didn’t want to have to deal with the expectation that she was going to perform just as well.

It seemed that wasn’t the only part, though. Being part of a large clan like the Mejiros came with more than a little baggage, it seemed...

“Well!” Amber’s face lightened back up as she stopped thinking about who she was going to have to give a strongly-worded phone call. “You did really well today, Lily! Good job!”

“... Thanks.” Lily glumly said, looking about as empty as the praise she was receiving. “I really, really tried to beat Joie, but... She’s just too fast for me, I guess!”

Amber turned her attention to me. For some reason, even with my back against the wall, it felt like there was something behind me... I tried to ignore that feeling. “Well, I can’t blame you. That was a brilliant performance, my darling- I think you’re headed for high places!” Amber’s smile felt genuine, but... That subtle pressure she exuded made it hard for me to feel at ease.

“Thanks.” I accepted the praise without adding to the conversation. I could tell how uncomfortable Lily was, so I wanted to try and finish this as quickly as I could for her.

Amber leaned in to whisper, “Lily thinks the world of you, you know... Take good care of her, alright?”

I couldn’t tell if she was asking me for a favor or making a threat... I wasn’t sure how to reply to that, so I just nodded mutely.

“Oh! Before I go, could you show me your signature racewear, Lily?” Amber’s eyes lit up as an idea struck her. “I know you’ll be in it for the winning concert, but I just can’t wait to see it!”

“Ahaha... Auntie, we’re still all sweaty from the race...” Lily tried to deflect the request politely.

“Oh, nonsense. Those things are designed to run in, you know. You’ll get them all sweaty eventually anyway.” Amber waved her hand. 

Tojen Lily looked over towards me for help. “Well, um, I guess we should get changed, real quick...?”

“We?” I blinked. Since when was I being brought into this?!

“I mean, if one of us is doing it...” Lily mumbled.

I supposed I owed her this much for beating her in front of her aunt... “Alright. Clear out, then, you two.”

“Oooh, this is exciting!” Amber giggled as she trotted out of the room. Noelle followed after her with a weary shrug, leaving the two of us alone in the room.

“Well... Let’s get changed, I guess.” Lily let out the breath that she’d been holding. “I’ll look this way if you look that way.

“... Okay.”

The two of us faced our backs to one another and got to removing our sweaty track clothes. It felt like I was peeling a layer of glue or paint off of me, with how much it wanted to stick- it was satisfying, in the same gross way that watching lizards shed their skin is satisfying. The shirt, now composed of more sweat than it was fabric, got pitched into the corner with a wet flop to be stored in a laundry bag and brought home for cleaning.

I briefly felt eyes upon my back as I undid my undergarments. I glanced backwards, making sure that nobody was walking in on me - and immediately felt guilty as I caught a glimpse of Tojen Lily, standing straight upright and staring straight ahead.

I decided to break the awkward silence as I started drying myself off with a towel. “So... that’s your aunt, huh?”

“Yep,” Lily offered a one-word reply, clearly not very eager to elaborate.

“... She seems nice, if a bit intense.” I said. “I can see why you look up to her.”

“She’s... really awesome.” Lily said, choking a bit on her words. “The coolest... And... if I’ve learned anything at Tracen... It’s that there’s no way I can... possibly...” Her words gave way to gentle, quiet sobbing.

Oh. Oh, Lily was crying. I’d made her cry. Shit. Damn it, me.

My immediate instinct was to turn around and give this poor girl a hug, but... well, present circumstances would make that more awkward than it otherwise would be.

“I, um...” I searched for the right thing to say as Tojen Lily quietly sobbed. “I... kinda know what it’s like to feel like you have to live up to impossible expectations...”

No response. I zipped open the garment bag containing my signature racewear.

“... So I don’t blame you for not telling me. If I had my way, I probably wouldn’t have told anyone about my friendship with Opera, so...”

Still nothing but sobs. I felt like shit.

“... I think that’s why I try so hard.” I stopped trying to find the right words and just... started talking without thinking. “I know that deep down I’m mediocre, that I’ll never amount to anything, but... I keep on trying anyway.”

I carefully put a pair of dark-colored leggings on. “I know I’m not supposed to win, but... if I believe hard enough, then maybe it’s actually possible. Opera believed in me, and that’s... the whole reason I’m here.”

Next, came a white blouse-dress as the next layer, over a fresh pair of undergarments. The front was button-up and adorned with frills, down to the waist, to make it easier to put on. It was specifically tailored to be form-fitting and supportive, even if the next couple of layers would obscure it. Hopefully, that’d make it easier to run in than the generic track clothing that felt like a tent on me. The really nice thing about it, though, was the lacy decorations on the hem. They looked like blooming tulips - a symbol of new beginnings and renewal.

“So... I want to believe in you too, Lily.” I continued my thought, still not entirely sure what I was trying to say. “If I believed hard enough that even I managed to win, then I want to believe in you, too. I want to believe that you’ll catch up with me next time, and we can cross the finish line together.”

A pair of arms wrapped around me from behind, as Tojen Lily sobbed into my shoulder.

It felt weird to be the one that wasn’t crying, this time. Was this how Opera felt?

... Or maybe this was more like how Old Nelson felt.

I simply put my hands on hers and let her vent her emotions into my shoulder. Sure, she’d stain my shirt, but the next few layers were going to cover that up anyway.

We stood there long enough that there was a knock on the door, with Noelle’s voice coming through. “Everything okay in there?”

“Just a minute,” I replied.

I gave Lily’s hand a gentle pat, and she withdrew it. I didn’t dare turn around to face her, since I didn’t know what state of dress she was in.

“S... Sorry.” Lily sniffed. “I, um...”

“I’d be a hypocrite if I was mad at you for crying.” I smiled, even though she couldn’t see it. “You don’t have anything to apologize for.”

“No, um...” Lily’s voice hesitated again. “I’m... sorry I couldn’t live up to my side of the bargain.” There was a smile on her voice, at least, even if she was still sniffling. “But... I’m happy you believe in me, so I think next time, I’ll do my best to catch up.”

Silence fell between us again, so I got back to work putting my racewear on. On top of the white dress went a deep blue skirt, with a triangular hem pattern intended once again to invoke the look of a flower. This part could have been built into the shirt-dress, perhaps, but it was easier to clean if it was a separate garment. The edges were trimmed with a neat gold thread.

Next was a black vest, breaking up the solid white and barely overlapping with my skirt. In some ways, it looked like the skirt was coming out of the vest. It, too, was tailored specifically for me. It felt more comfortable than... pretty much anything else I’d ever worn. I kind of wished I could wear it around all the time. Instead of gold, the vest was trimmed with red. 

On top of the vest went the jacket, though it wasn’t much of a jacket at all, since it basically only covered my collar, my shoulders, and my arms. The shoulders were puffed out, and the cuffs fit neatly around my wrists- just barely shorter than my blouse, letting white frills poke out from underneath. Its color matched my skirt, and a neat gold trim went alongside the outside of the sleeves.

On top of the collar went a red bow-tie- not the stereotypical nerd kind, but the fancy kind of bow that you might see at a classy gathering. In the center was a golden decoration with a large, elliptical opal as the centerpiece - a symbol of hope and transformation. I took a moment before putting it on to tilt the opal around and watch it glitter and dance with internal light, as though the stone contained a fire within.

Just like me, I mused.

Next came the cape. Maybe this was a bit over-the-top, but I’d decided on a starry pattern for the inside - after all, if I was to embody the sunset, then I would leave nightfall in my wake, wouldn’t I? However, the outer shell of the cape was a simple pure-black, with a golden embroidery matching the shape of my ear accessory. Prongs of sunlight ending in circles radiated out from the collar as I secured it around my neck.

Next, my boots. Normally, they’d be worn with cleats, but that wasn’t necessary for concerts (in fact, it was detrimental, since it’d tear up the stage). They went on one at a time. A white one for my left foot, and a black one for my right, both with red laces.

I wasn’t exactly sure why I’d picked a white one for my left, specifically... I’d seen it on other umamusume before. Maybe I was just following a fashion trend? Still, it looked nice enough, and on some level it just felt right.

That wasn’t it, though. On top of the boots went a pair of shin-covers matching the blue of my skirt and jacket. I had to strap them on with belt buckles to make sure they wouldn’t move, but I felt like my legs looked a bit naked without them.

Last, but certainly not least... I took out a wide-brimmed hat from out of the garment bag. It matched the rest of my ensemble - deep blue, with golden trim. The right side of the brim was bent upwards, calling to mind the gallant chapeau of figures such as the Three Musketeers - though I hardly needed a feather in my cap. I carefully took off my ear-decoration and put it aside, and then lowered the hat onto my head, mindful to poke my ears through the holes with my matching ear-covers still on. The decoration went back on my left ear afterwards.

Finally, the look was complete. I slowly turned to look in the mirror.

For once, it was easy to smile at the sight of myself. Even I had to admit I looked good in this. I reached up to adjust the brim of my hat-

And then I heard the shutter “click” of Lily’s camera app.

I looked over to glare at her. “Hey!”

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it.” Lily smiled, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. “It’s not often I get to see you smile like that, y’know?”

“Sheesh...” I shook my head and shrugged, though I wore a smile on my face regardless.

This would be the first time I’d seen Lily’s signature racewear as well. Compared to mine, it was comparatively simple - A lolita dress, like the ones she usually liked to wear, but in pastel green with blue ribbons. Baby-blue diamonds circled her skirt, fenced in with lacy frills. One of these little ponds was inhabited by an embroidered frog, smiling contentedly on its little lilypad. On her back, she wore a pink heart-shaped backpack.

“Hey, that’s a great look for you!” I offered her a compliment. “Really cute! It suits you.”

“Ahaha, thanks...” Lily scratched the back of her head. “So, um... Should we call them in, now?”

“I suppose so... Though, what are you going to do with that photo?”

“Hm...” Lily pondered. “I could send it to you, and you could use it to make your Umastagram post. Y’know, since you can’t take a selfie to save your life?” She grinned mischievously.

“Hmph. I suppose I should thank you?”

Another knock at the door. “Lilyyy! Are you making your poor auntie wait???”

“Okay, yeah, we’re changed, you can come in!” I called out.

Despite how things turned out, I’m glad I’d had this conversation with Lily. It felt like I understood her just a bit better, now.

-----

Once Amber Shadow was done fawning over how precious our outfits were, Lily and I changed back into our Tracen uniforms (No sense wandering around in our full racewear before the reveal) to get some food and watch the rest of the races. I actually wandered through the crowd to stand next to Agnes Digital, who was largely too busy cheering on the rest of the umamusume for today’s races to realize I was even there. 

I had to admit, Digitan’s energy was kind of infectious. It made me want to cheer on the rest of these girls - all of them were in a similar boat to me and Lily, having failed to win their debuts. Some of them had kept on racing even into their classic year, still trying to get a Maiden win despite repeated failures... And the genuine tears they shed when they’d finally gotten their wins moved my heart as well. Those were resilient girls who had faced failure time and time again, but kept going and finally managed to win.

I could learn a thing or two from them.

Noelle was somewhat worried that I might run into that fan of mine who’d asked her so many questions that she couldn’t concentrate on the race, but she was nowhere to be seen. Apparently, she’d only been here for me... Which was somewhat unsettling, but I decided not to think about it too hard.

Soon enough, it came time to start preparing for the winning concert. As the first race of the day, we’d be on stage first. It wouldn’t even be nighttime for our rendition of Make Debut - not completely. It seemed I’d be sending off the setting sun today, which made me smile just a bit.

I changed into my Racewear again, and made my way backstage. Lily had changed faster than I had, so she was there first- and the only other girl who wasn’t in a backup dancer outfit was sitting in a chair, mournfully staring at a bandaged ankle.

Ah... Peacock Red. The desperate girl who Lily and I had beaten...

I didn’t really know what to say to her. The defeated look in her eyes said everything... I saw in her a reflection of myself from only two months ago.

“It’s impolite to stare,” Peacock Red called out to me, though how she knew I was staring I couldn’t tell. She hadn’t so much as glanced over in my direction. “Unless you want to compliment my outfit?”

For someone with the name ‘peacock red’, her outfit had very little to do with Peacocks. All in all, it was an understated affair - just a pinkish-red leotard with deep-blue circle patterns, with a pair of running shorts over it. Maybe not everyone had the connections I had, to get such detailed custom racewear...

“I, um...” I looked down at Peacock Red’s ankle. “Are you okay?”

“Well...” Peacock Red gave me a deep sigh. “Not really.”

“I’m, um... sorry you-”

“Don’t be.” Peacock Red interrupted me, turning her head. “It’s... my own damn fault I couldn’t admit that I was out of my league. You showed me that even if I’d managed to win today, the moment I went to a graded race I’d be left in the dust. If a gal like you can go from last to a G1 time in just a couple months... Then I don’t really got a chance. Better to throw in the towel now before I hurt myself.”

“Wait, you’re quitting?” My eyes widened.

Now the shoe was on the other foot, and I didn’t know how to feel about it. I’d never given it serious thought about what it meant for me to be the one crushing other people’s dreams.

“The national circuit, yeah...” Peacock Red sighed out. “I should’ve stayed back in Kanazawa, but I guess I got a big head. Big fish, small pond. You know how it goes.” She smiled weakly.

“I...” Words failed me.

“Oi.” A sharp glare was directed at me. “Don’t give me that.”

Oh, I was doing it, wasn’t I? That thing I hated. That same naked pity that I so despised...

“Don’t you worry. If this is going to be the only time I get to be one of the main singers of Make Debut, then you bet your ass I’m going to sing my heart out.” Red Peacock gave me a grin. “And you... I’m gonna be cheering for you from now on, Joie de Vivre. You better win some big races, because I don’t want to have to tell my friends back home that I lost to some mediocre nobody, alright? Whatever you do, you better dominate. You get me?”

Peacock Red offered me a hand. It was... a really strange feeling, to be facing someone whose dreams I’d just ended, and despite it all, she was the one encouraging me.

... “Yeah.” I took Peacock Red’s hand and matched her grip. “Just watch me. I’ll sweep the Triple Tiaras and make you proud.”

Notes:

This race was based on a 2yo maiden race, run on the August 3, 2002. The real life winner of this race was Mieppari, whose representation in the fic was Peacock Red.

Much like Peacock Red, Mieppari struggled to find victory again in national circuit. He was moved back to the Kanazawa Horse Park to race there, where he managed to get 5 victories.

1st: Joie de Vivre
2nd: Tojen Lily (DST)
3rd: Peacock Red (2 Lengths)

-----

NOELLE'S NOTES ON JOIE DE VIVRE

Likes: Obscure history, Chestnuts
Dislikes: Social Media, Strangers

For whatever reason, she's incredibly difficult to take a picture of so long as she knows you're looking at her. I tried to snap a few photos during Make Debut, but no matter what, her face is always obscured or just looks weird. Lily seems to be the only one who has enough mastery of the art of candid photography to get her good side.

-----

and because i cannot be stopped:

look at these goobers. look at them

Chapter 19: Chasing the Sunset

Summary:

"Awawawawa... H-how did I get myself into this situation...? W-what would Opera do...?!"

Meisho Doto found herself in a difficult position.

Joie de Vivre had invited her along to go to a place in Shibuya with a gimmick where they would decorate a plate of curry in the shape of your face. It sounded interesting enough, and Meisho Doto hadn’t been spending much time with Joie lately, so of course, she wanted to accept the offer to go hang out.

This much was normal. Whenever Joie de Vivre was informed of these cute hangout spots, she’d make an effort to invite Doto. It was honestly kind of sweet of her to include Doto despite how she’d always make a mess of things, and Doto really wanted to return the favor by supporting Joie through this part of her life- she knew firsthand how difficult it could be, even if she wasn’t really smart enough to wrap her head around everything that was going on with her... But it must’ve been a lot to get used to, going from being a Trainer to an Umamusume, plus all of that stuff with her memories...

However, after Joie and Doto left to go meet Tojen Lily at the gate, a horrible sinking feeling found its way into Doto’s stomach and took up residence there. Lily had been surprised to see Doto, and not in a good way.

Joie had asked Doto along without asking Lily, and Lily wasn’t at all happy about this. She wasn’t saying anything, but Doto could tell.

What’s more, Joie de Vivre hadn’t noticed anything wrong at all. She was presently cheerfully admiring the view outside the train window, which told Doto that she absolutely wasn’t going to notice any time soon.

Joie de Vivre, Doto had figured out, operated on something of a sliding scale of introversion to extroversion. Her natural state was somewhat introverted- she was withdrawn, preferred to talk only to a few friends, and was almost excessively suspicious of anyone outside her little bubble. However, this heightened level of vigilance also meant that she was more perceptive, oftentimes picking up details that others would miss, and being able to objectively analyze things very quickly in a way that Doto felt like she’d never be able to accomplish. 

It reminded her that the umamusume before her used to be T.M. Opera O’s trainer - the person whose analytical brilliance and obsessive understanding of umamusume allowed Opera to be one of the most successful racers in the history of the Twinkle Series.

On the other hand, in situations where she was out in public like this, Joie seemed to put on an act of some kind... Maybe? It didn’t feel like an act. Opera put on an act, her self-absorbed persona being a mask of sorts, an exaggeration of her own character traits that shielded her from the outside world. It was those little glimpses behind the mask at the actor behind it that Meisho Doto had truly fallen in love with - but that was neither here nor there!

When Joie was the one acting like this, it was like she was another person entirely. This was not her introverted self pretending that she was like Opera, it seemed like she actually believed that she was someone else with a different personality, whose reality worked by its own rules... Which really, really troubled Doto, because when this got out of control, it got genuinely frightening. Not that Doto thought that Joie was going to hurt someone... more that she was going to hurt herself, and not even realize it until it was too late.

What all of this meant for Doto’s present dilemma was that because they were on a crowded train, going to a crowded ward, going to a trendy and popular (thus, crowded) curry shop... Joie was going to be pushing herself towards her extroverted side just so she wouldn’t have to deal with her agoraphobia, and that meant there was no way on earth that she was going to notice that Lily had wanted to go with Joie and only Joie.

A-And it wasn’t like Doto could say anything, because what if she was wrong?! Then she’d be making the both of them try and reassure her that they wanted her there, and it was going to get awkward, and then she’d ruin the whole trip and then the train would like, derail and explode and everyone was going to die and it was going to be her fault-

Doto took a deep breath. She smelled her lip balm that she’d picked out this morning, which was scented like cherries. It’s fine, it’s going to be okay, Doto reassured herself.

“Yoyogi-Uehara Station.” The intercom chimed, startling Meisho Doto just a bit and making her jump in her seat. 

“Seems we’ve arrived at our destination! Let’s hurry towards the curry! Ah, I just rhymed, didn’t I?” Joie de Vivre cheerfully announced, jumping to her feet and spinning around to face Doto and Lily. She was wearing a light and breezy blouse and skirt, perfect for summer and complete with lacy frills down the front. Lily wordlessly peeled herself off of the train seat, clearly a bit overheated in her fancy frilly pink lolita outfit... Doto felt both under- and over-dressed, wearing her same old turtleneck sweater and floral-pattern skirt. It was way too hot for this outfit, b-but she didn’t really think she was going to look good in anything else, so...

Thankfully, this was not the main area of Shibuya that everyone thought of when you said the word ‘Shibuya’. This was one of the smaller stations, in a relatively low-key residential area. In crowded areas like those, Doto always wound up getting stuck in the crowd and separated from her friends - her technique of holding someone’s hand and not letting go no matter what usually worked to minimize separations like that, but in the event she tripped, she’d always bring down whoever it was that she was holding onto... And also, she really, really didn’t want to give Lily the wrong idea right now. It already felt like she was on thin ice.

Of course, this not being the main area of Shibuya meant that the group’s destination was somewhere within the labyrinthine residential streets. Joie de Vivre just started walking like she knew where she was going, which left Lily and Doto trailing behind her.

“So it’s a small shop, is it?” Joie looked back to ask Lily with a beaming grin. “I’m always astounded by your ability to find these places, Lily! How do you do it?”

“Ahaha, well...” Lily shrugged noncommittally. “I just keep on top of trends on social media, is all. A few of my mutuals were posting the curry they’d gotten from the place, and the chefs there put a lot of effort into it. I mean sure, it’s expensive, but I figured it’d make for a cute... place to go,” Lily laughed, swapping out her words at the last second.

This was painful. Doto wanted to shrivel up into a little ball and fall down a storm drain.

Really, Joie and Lily reminded Doto of Opera and herself in all the worst ways. It seemed that Lily had at least clued in on the fact that she liked Joie way, way sooner than Doto did. It only really occurred to Doto that she wanted to date Opera after Air Shakur had mentioned offhandedly just how much the two of them resembled a married couple. And even then, it had taken months for her to work up the courage to ask Opera out on a date- only to be told by Opera that she was under the impression that they’d been dating for two years! Just the memory of that horribly awkward day made Doto want to melt... Though, part of that was probably the summer heat.

But as perceptive as Joie was (whenever she wasn’t acting like she was now), it seemed that she had a massive blindspot centered on herself. Lily was currently in that awkward phase of love where she was poking and prodding to see if Joie liked her the same way, sending up subtle signals to test the waters- and Joie just straight-up was not getting it.

Not that Doto was 100% certain herself that this was what was going on, which was part of why she hadn’t said anything yet! Or excused herself to let these two enjoy one another’s company without herself mucking it all up, or... a dozen other things. But she’d be embarrassing the two of them if she just made up a lame excuse and left, like she thought she was too good for their company or something, or they’d get the impression that she hated them, or they’d be forced to console her and tell her that she was fine or... She really did want to spend time with them, but...!

And she couldn’t just say something, either, because if she was wrong, then she’d be horribly embarrassing Lily! And if she was right, then she’d be horribly embarrassing the both of them! This was horrible! Doto tugged on the tips of her drooping ears as she tried to think of what to do.

“Oh, um-” Lily tugged on Joie’s sleeve. “There’s the restaurant right there.” Joie de Vivre hadn’t even seen it- She was going to walk right on past it, since it seemed she was too busy admiring the sky.

“Aha! Right you are!” Joie grinned some more. “Our feast awaits us!” Doto followed Lily and Joie inside and sat down at a table...

Maybe the reason Joie was leaning so hard into her extroverted side was because on some level she could feel the awkwardness in the air, and if she wasn’t pushing herself to be extroverted right now she’d have a similar meltdown to what Doto was going through...? Maybe it’d be nice, Doto mused, if she had a lever she could pull inside her brain to just turn all of her anxious thoughts off... But seeing it from the outside like this when she knew very well how Joie usually acted was very unsettling. Like someone else was wearing Joie’s skin, saying things she’d never normally say... 

The server came by, but didn’t offer a menu of any kind. It seemed that the way this restaurant worked was that the server would take a quick picture of you to give to the chef, and then the chef would decide based on your appearance what kind of curry to give you. It was a bit of a strange way of ordering - they had the good sense to ask about any allergies you had or any foods you absolutely did not want to eat, but not being able to order the exact thing you wanted felt a little strange. It meant that you had no idea what you would get... which was both a blessing and a curse, in a way? Maybe this was a decent way of trying new things. The server set down some cups of carrot juice for everyone and walked into the back after taking everyone’s picture.

Of course, with Joie, she had to try multiple times to get a good take...

Still, after the group had sat down, there was absolutely no smalltalk happening at all. Lily and Joie were sitting opposite from one another, with Doto left off to the side to watch the car-crash in slow motion. Joie was presently occupying herself with admiring the decor of this little hole-in-the wall, and Lily was gloomily flicking through her Umastagram reel and waiting for the date that Doto was in the middle of crashing to be done already.

How did it wind up that Doto of all people was the umamusume who was going to have to salvage this...?!

“S-so, um...” Doto started, desperate to dispel the silence and make some level of conversation. “I, um... your... next maiden race is in a couple days, right, Lily?”

Lily just nodded mutely, whereas it was Joie who was the one who replied in full. “Indeed! And she’s going to blow away the competition- We’ve been training together, so I know better than anyone what a fierce opponent she is!”

Lily glanced up towards Joie, smiled a little bit, and then glanced back over at Doto. She plainly wished that Doto wasn’t here. Doto wished she wasn’t here either, so she didn’t need to be given looks like that!

This was impossible. Doto had already ruined everything just by being here... Her one idea for making smalltalk had already died...! She needed help!

Doto fumbled in her bag for a solid minute, sorting past the assorted odds and ends she carried with her at all times - lip balm, meal-replacement bar, water bottle, small bandages, large bandages, inflatable emergency life-vest, miniature crowbar... Her hand found purchase on her phone, and she pulled it out. Somehow, no matter what she did, it always found its way to the bottom... Maybe it was the heavy-duty fall-proof case. Once the device was in Doto’s hands, she brought up the messaging app, and debated who to ask for advice...

Opera? No, she’d probably just advocate for the straightforward answer, and that wasn’t an option for various reasons that Doto had already mentally been over. Taiki Shuttle was similarly straightforward, so no... She needed someone with a subtle touch. Ayabe...? No, she probably wanted nothing to do with this and wouldn’t reply at all...

Her options were between Agnes Digital and Matikanefukukitaru. On one hand, Digital probably understood the exact kind of situation Doto was in, but her answer would probably be ‘just let them enjoy the date and not be in the way’, when the exact problem was that the opposite situation was happening - so Matikanefukukitaru it was!

-----

Fuck help
*Fuku sorry!!
I didnt meant to swear sorry!!!!

I was waiting for you to send your message...
Terribly grim tidings, Meisho Doto!
Misfortune will plague your every step if you accept Joie de Vivre’s invitation for dinner!
Find whatever excuse you can to decline!

Thats the problemm!!
I alresdy dud!
*Did

Good! All is right in the world.

Wait no I mean I accepted it

Oh

-----

 

Doto briefly lamented the fact that Matikanefukukitaru’s warning came too late... She didn’t especially know nor care how Fuku knew what was going on- Fuku had a way of being prescient about these things, knowledgeable as she was in the occult arts. It saved Doto from having to explain the situation, at least.

 

-----

 

Okay so I wasn’t expecting that.
That’s really bad actually!

I know!!
Plaese I need hepl
*Please
*Help
How do I leave withiut emberassing them

Okay this is still salvageable!
My divinations told me that today’s lucky vegetable is Daikon
If you order something with that in it then
there’s a slim chance it’ll work out!

We dont get to contralto what we order here!

What

*Control
They took a picture and they make Curry in the shape of yuor face

That’s
You don’t get to control the flavor?
That’s actually super zen! Interesting!
I wonder what flavor my face is...

Fuku!!!!!!!!!!

Right
Let me consult my cards

-----

Doto waited over two minutes for a reply. Joie de Vivre was currently excitedly accounting the details of 16th-century Italian politics to Lily for whatever reason, and Lily was completely bored out of her mind. The only way this could possibly be going worse is if the kitchen lit on fire or something.

Doto quietly knocked on the wooden table in front of her, hoping that she hadn’t just thought that fate into reality...

-----

Okay

Okay??

Just wait a while longer and salvation will arrive
You must be strong Doto! Endure like you always have!

Fuku what does that mesa
*Mean

Destiny is no longer in either of our hands!

Fuku thats not entourages!!!

-----

Okay, maybe asking Matikanefukukitaru for help wasn’t her brightest idea. Not that Meisho Doto considered a lot of her own ideas to be terribly bright...

“... Probably the most wild fact about him was that he tried to get Leonardo da Vinci to redirect the Arno River to capture the city of Pisa! It didn’t work out, of course, but...” Joie rambled. “Imagine waking up one day and your river’s just gone.”

“Mhm,” Lily grunted, clearly not following along.

Things had not gotten better. Joie was seemingly completely oblivious to the fact that she’d unintentionally ruined Lily’s day, and Lily wasn’t the kind of person to raise a fuss about it... Doto guessed that Lily probably even blamed herself for not seeing this coming, because that would be the exact sort of reaction Doto would have had if she was in Lily’s position and Opera had obliviously brought someone else along.

“A-ah...” Doto stammered. Maybe at least trying to engage with the conversation would make this less of a dumpster fire? “I, um... usually like to go on walks near the river, so... I can’t really imagine it being gone...”

“Right?” Joie smiled. “I should make more trips to the riverbank - Not often is it that I journey out that way! I would like to see the sights and sounds for myself. Or perhaps I ought to make like Machiavelli, and divert the river to where it suits me!”

That wasn’t a worrying thing to say at all...! Doto desperately tried to include Lily in the conversation. “Oh! Maybe you two could do your partner running over there?”

Lily looked up from her phone, surprised that the conversation was veering back her way again. “Well, um... My race is real soon, so Noelle has me resting up in preparation, especially since this is so soon after my last race.”

Doto’s ears drooped. So much for that.

The server returned to their table with three plates in hand. “Here you are! Please enjoy the food!”

In front of Joie was placed a plate of yellow curry. Carefully-shaped rice formed the face, with yellow curry forming the hair. A carved slice of carrot made Joie’s hair decoration, though obviously the chef couldn’t quite match it one for one, and they didn’t even try to replicate her blue ear covers at all. Instead, they elected to represent her ears with two pieces of carrot sticking off of the back of the plate. A beaming smile made up of seaweed formed her expression, with two slices of purple yam representing her eyes. Decoration made of sauce represented her starry pupils. Lastly, three pieces of chicken katsu made up the vibrant orange of her eyebrows and the streak of hair on her forehead.

For some reason, Joie pouted and prodded at the katsu with her chopsticks with a disgruntled expression. “... Katsu, like...” She mumbled under her breath. “I... Whatever, they couldn’t have known...”

Wait, katsu like ‘Katsuo’? Was she really upset because of that?!

In front of Lily went a unique-looking plate of pinkish curry, seemingly accomplished through the inclusion of beetroot in the sauce. A carved slice of cucumber made up her frog-shaped hair decoration, two small slices of ham made up her eyes, and she also had a cute little seaweed smile. Once again, her ears were represented with carrots, although the chef clearly had issues finding carrots that were long enough. They didn’t have many ideas for her baby-blue bow, though, so it seemed they just settled for carving what looked like a parsnip into shape and brushing it with some food coloring.

Lastly, Doto received her own plate, which was a startlingly accurate recreation of her face in curry form. Like Joie, her eyes were represented by slices of purple yam, carved into spirals with seaweed layered inside to recreate Doto’s own swirling irises. Seaweed formed her cat-lipped smile like the other two dishes, along with similar carrot-ears - the chef was lucky that umamusume were so fond of carrots! The color of her curry was a deep brown, and the white patch of hair appeared to be made of... daikon radish, complete with a piece sticking out in the shape of her ahoge.

“I’m a big fan, Meisho Doto,” The server said to Doto with a wink. “So I made sure the curry’s just how you like it!”

Doto didn’t immediately realize what that meant. Her focus was elsewhere at the moment.

“Hey, um, Joie,” Lily tentatively said just as Joie was about to start digging in. “I had an idea... It’s a little strange for us to be eating our own faces, so what if we swapped plates?”

“Excellent idea, Lily!” Joie proclaimed. “Let’s all swap our dishes around. I’ll give mine to Doto, Doto can give hers to you, and I can take yours!”

The immediate look of disappointment on Lily’s face made Doto want to scream and strangle Joie for being so freaking dense.

“A-actually, um!” Doto interjected. “I-If it’s okay, I don’t like yellow curry all that much! So, um, maybe you can...”

“We can do the other way around, then!” Joie obliviously said, handing her plate to Lily and stealing Doto’s plate in a single motion. While this clearly wasn’t Lily’s ideal solution, it was better than being presented with the face of her interloper. Lily received Joie’s yellow curry, Doto received Lily’s pink curry, and Joie received Doto’s brown curry.

“Right then! Itadakimasu~!” Joie clapped her hands together, and then took a big bite out of Doto’s left cheek...

And then, very quickly, Joie’s face went red. Bright red. Was it really that strange to be eating curry in the shape of Doto? At the end of the day, it was just curry-

Oh. Oh. That’s what the server meant by making sure the curry was just how she liked it.

Joie choked and sputtered as sweat started pouring out of her face and steam started rising from her body. “Water,” She managed out, scrambling for anything she could get her hands on that might quench the wildfire that had been lit in her mouth. Her own glass of carrot juice was her first victim, being seized with urgency and chugged in a matter of seconds.

Alarmed, Doto went to grab her own cup of carrot juice to offer to Joie, but it seemed that Joie had the same idea. Joie’s hand collided with the cup as Doto raised to offer it, resulting in carrot juice spilling all over the front of Doto’s sweater.

Doto’s startled yelp and the general ruckus that Joie was making due to her mouth currently being host to an active volcano caused the server to rush back over to the table with a glass of milk, which Joie then eagerly chugged.

“Gaaaah...” Joie panted out, still sweating buckets. “What the hell was in that?! I almost died, just now...!”

“I-I’m so sowee!” Doto blubbered. “I-I shood’ve knoon thad dey were going to mage my cuwwy so spiceeee!”

Joie coughed some more as the raging fire laying waste to her taste buds was slowly extinguished. “I- Gah, I should’ve known... It’s not your fault, Doto. Sorry for spilling that on your shirt...”

Lily, meanwhile, quietly swapped Doto’s and Joie’s plates, so that Doto got her own face and Joie got Lily’s. It was probably for the best that things turned out this way...

“Ugh...” Joie took a deep breath, before glancing around nervously. “I, um... Were we talking about something...?”

Wait, she was suddenly concerned about having made a scene again? She was loudly chatting away like she didn’t care what anyone thought just a few moments ago, and now she was... back to normal...

Did the strong flavor of the curry shock her back to normal? Doto quietly made a mental note of that.

“I, um...” Doto fidgeted, looking down at the big orange blotch on the front of her sweater. “I should, um... D-do something about this before it stains...”

“The bathroom’s just right there,” The server pointed. “Let me know if you need a towel. I’m so sorry about all of this...”

“Th-thank you...” Doto stammered out. “I’ll, um... that’d be nice...”

Meisho Doto awkwardly shuffled into the washroom to start trying to dab out the carrot juice from her sweater. As she did so, she could barely make out a conversation through the door. It was hard to make out whose voice was speaking, but...

“So, um... Coming out here was your idea, but...”

“Yeah?”

“I, um... you’ve barely been talking at all. You’ve spent the whole time on your phone.”

A brief silence.

“Is the food not...”

“Why’d you invite Doto?”

Meisho Doto flinched. There it was.

“Hey, Doto’s a friend of mine.”

“I know, just-”

“She’s helped me through a lot, so if you have a problem with her-”

“I don’t!”

Meisho Doto winced.

“It’s just... I wish you would’ve asked me first. I wanted this trip to be just us.”

“I- Well, why didn’t you say something sooner?!”

Silence again.

This was a really difficult situation. Much as it was frustrating that Joie wasn’t picking up any hints, it wasn’t really her fault that she was under the impression that this wasn’t a date, because at no point had Lily tried to disabuse her of that notion. At the same time, Doto could also sympathize with Lily, because she’d been in Lily’s shoes before- terrified that the moment she actually asked the question, the answer would be no. For a long time, Doto had contented herself with just hanging around Opera, going on ‘dates’ with her that weren’t dates until they were. But... wasn’t it unfair to Joie, to get mad at her for not treating this like it was a date...?

“... I guess I’ll ask next time, but I don’t want to exclude Doto just because you might think she’s a bother or because she’s clumsy.”

“That’s not...”

This sucked. Doto just wanted to slam open the bathroom door and yell at the two to kiss already, but knowing Joie that’d just make things worse... So in this bathroom Doto remained, using a small mountain of paper towels trying to get the carrot juice out of her infuriatingly absorbent sweater...

“I’m sorry. You’re right. Let’s just eat.”

Doto couldn’t tell who said that. She didn’t know if it would be better if it was Joie or Lily to be the one acquiescing, but she was at least glad that the two weren’t arguing anymore.

She redoubled her efforts to clean her shirt off. Luckily, she kept a stain-remover pen in her bag, so once she was done sponging out all the liquid, the rest was fairly simple... even if she was probably going to have to deal with having a wet spot on her sweater for the rest of the way home.

Doto walked back out into the restaurant to behold the sight of Lily gleefully plucking out the starry purple-yam eye of the plate in front of her. “Muahaha! Your eyes belong to me now!”

“Noooo!” Joie replied in turn. “Well if you’re going to be like that... I’ll eat your ears!!”

At least they were having fun now. Doto smiled as she walked back over to eat her own face.

=====

Tojen Lily had been thinking about that day in the curry shop ever since it happened. 

Maiden Race

She knew she wasn’t being fair. She knew that if she wanted a date with Joie, she should have asked for one. She knew that Joie wanted to include her friend on these sorts of trips, but...

It still hurt. It still hurt that no matter what, Lily just couldn’t get Joie de Vivre to look at her the way that she so desperately wanted her to. And deep down, she knew that if she had just asked, then... Her worst fears would’ve been confirmed. It was better to just live in this purgatory for now. Enjoy what little she had...

Niigata Racetrack, 1200 meters on Turf, Left-handed

And here Lily was, back at Niigata again. 10 am again. It was as though the last race had never happened, and Lily was just living the same day over again, with one big difference.

Joie wasn’t here.

Well... She was. Lily had seen her in the stands, standing next to Trainer Noelle, but Joie wouldn’t be joining her on the turf today. Or the stage.

Not that Lily ever felt like they had really stood on the same ground. Maybe they did, once, but Joie was getting farther and farther away from her as time passed. But... wasn’t that what Joie wanted? To be just like Maruzensky. A runner truly without equal, unrivaled, alone in the front with the rest nowhere to be seen.

Late August, Cloudy weather, Firm Going

Lily barely cared who all she was racing against today. They were all mediocre racers like her, Maidens who hadn’t achieved victory yet. Most of them never would-

“Hey,” A low, growling voice reached Lily’s ears as she made her way. Lily blankly turned to face the source of the voice- A black-haired umamusume with dyed red streaks. Lily considered it slightly impressive that she was able to do that with natural black hair, at least. The umamusume leveled a red-irised eye at Lily, with an expression somewhere between a contemptuous scowl and a smug sneer.

“You’re the one who’ll be trying to take the front from me, aren’t you?” She pointed a finger. “Hmph. Well, try not to choke on my dust as I damn you to defeat!”

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Lily blearily stared at this strange girl, not caring even a little bit for her theatrics. It was like a... less convincing, edgier version of Joie.

“I am All of Me,” The girl thumbed towards herself. The name was vaguely familiar. Lily remembered looking her up before writing her off. She wasn’t a threat; this posturing was just hot air. “And you’re Tojen Lily. Well, sorry to say, but I’ll be taking this damn race. And you’ll be-”

“That’s nice.” Tojen Lily turned around to enter her gate- position 8.

“Rrgh, listen to me when I’m talking to you!” The black-and-red girl started shouting. “Damn it!”

Lily really did not need this right now... Nobody else needed to be making any declarations of rivalry. Lily only had eyes for one person. Even from this distance, Lily could make her out... That distinctive mismatch of blonde and orange hair atop a dark shirt.

That beautiful, infuriating girl. If Tojen Lily was angry at anyone, it was her own heart, for choosing someone so clearly outside of her grasp. Joie de Vivre was a true prodigy, unlike Lily- someone who would’ve been worthy to inherit Amber Shadow’s legacy, someone who had gone from scrawny and clumsy in the space of only half a year to someone that Lily could only hope to compete with.

How dare Joie come into her life like this, shining through the clouds that had already gathered around her? A frog was perfectly content in the rain, after all. That gentle downpour that was familiar and comforting. Tojen Lily wasn’t a competitor who was going to win any big, prestigious races or break any records. 

Maybe once upon a time, Tojen Lily the naive little girl would’ve thought that, dreamed to be just like her auntie, the coolest and most elegant umamusume in the world... But Tojen Lily, the racer, the Tracen Academy student, had learned her limits. She had no business running in any distance longer than 1800 meters. Her body just wouldn’t keep up. Her spurt wasn’t long enough, she couldn’t store enough energy in her body, her legs weren’t fast enough. If she was lucky, maybe she would take home a G3 win or two. She could put her humble little trophy next to the big golden Arima Kinen trophy in the trophy case back home. Say she gave it her best, that what she accomplished was good enough, and move on to the next phase of her life. Pursue her actual passions, like photography...

And then the sun had shone through that rainfall, and made her want it again.

She’d thought Joie de Vivre was a kindred spirit. Another mediocre soul like her, but then she started spouting nonsense about sweeping an entire year’s worth of G1 races, and Lily believed her. Lily wanted to be right there with her, trying her hardest, making Joie work for it.

Maybe, she delusionally thought, if Joie could do it, then Lily could too. She could be just like her aunt.

Even when the gates opened and Lily jumped out onto the track, it wasn’t the same. Lily made it to the front without any complications. None of her competitors were even close to what Joie could do. The race from two weeks ago played out again in her head- a Phantom Joie de Vivre in her resplendent racewear pulled ahead of her, taking her place on the rail right before the uphill. Just like last time.

This time, instead it was All of Me trying to do the same thing, and Lily just pushed forward to cut her off. It barely took any effort. All of Me settled for breathing down Lily’s neck, not wanting to push herself to overtake Lily on the uphill.

That intangible starry cape fluttered in Lily’s face, tantalizingly out of reach. This time, Lily was in the uncontested front. She didn’t need to push ahead to cut Joie off- but she did anyway. She wanted to prove to herself that she could.

The racetrack curled to the left again. That same tight downhill. Lily took it as fast as she could, because if she didn’t, she’d never beat that phantom sunset behind her... Slowly overtaking her. Just like last time.

Maybe, just maybe, if she’d pushed herself harder, tried to accelerate on the curve, use gravity to accelerate just like Joie did, then she’d be able to-

Tojen Lily felt her foot slip out from under her as the ground gave way in a manner she wasn’t expecting. She was leaning too hard into the corner, going too fast.

She snapped out of it just in time to catch herself. She managed to recover from what would’ve been a dangerous fall, but the stumble had cost her. Centripetal force had pushed her onto the outside of the track, and All of Me used that opportunity to surge forwards and make a break for the finish line.

Tojen Lily wasn’t racing Joie de Vivre, she reminded herself. She was racing someone else today. Someone she could beat.

The adrenaline that had thus far eluded her spiked back into her system as her heart blazed to life. She couldn’t afford to keep her head in the clouds like this- she shook her head as the curve leveled out into the final straight. 

Last time, the goal was too far away. Joie had so much more time to pull away, and a difference of 400 meters was more than enough to make Lily exhaust herself - But this time, the goal was well within her reach. She could run without reservation, give everything to try and catch up. She found her footing, adjusted her trajectory into the final stretch, and hurled herself forward.

Her gait was less a run and more a series of leaping strides, long legs bounding off of the ground like a series of lilypads. That inconsequential blur of red and black on her left faded into the background as Tojen Lily chased after a series of three ghosts.

First, a phantom of glittering gold and amber. After her, an apparition of ice and snow. Chasing after them both was the sunset herself, leaving nightfall in her wake.

=====

I thought I heard something break as I saw Tojen Lily explode into her final spurt - something like cracking glass. Faint and distant, but audible over the roar of the crowd.

“Tojen Lily recovers from her stumble on the corner and leaps ahead! What an amazing run! It’s Tojen Lily! All of Me can’t catch up!”

I looked to my feet, to make sure I wasn’t standing on any broken glass or anything. Just some discarded popcorn... Nothing that could’ve made a noise like what I’d heard.

Maybe I was hearing things.

“It’s Tojen Lily! Tojen Lily is pulling farther away! Tojen Lily crosses the finish line with a margin of five lengths! Tojen Lily takes her first victory in the Twinkle Series!”

Or maybe it was that damn announcer giving me tinnitus...

Still, I couldn’t help but be happy for Lily. I knew better than anyone - well, except for Noelle - just how hard Lily had been working.

And... I had to admit that the energy of the crowd was more than a little infectious. I’d forgotten just how much fun it was to watch a race, even if competing was definitely my preference. The crowd here at Niigata was tiny compared to the enormous audiences of events like the Japanese Derby or Arima Kinen, but 600 or so people cheering in unison still produced a roaring noise quite unlike anything else. There was a certain satisfaction in lending my voice to that din.

“You did it, Lily! Yeaaaaah!!!” I shouted at the top of my lungs, screaming my heart out in hopes she could hear me over the crowd.

If she did hear me, she didn’t show it. She was just staring into the distance, beyond the edge of the racetrack in front of her. I peered over to the right to see what she was looking at, but only saw the empty sky.

“I knew she could do it.” Noelle smiled as she spoke over the cheers, though I detected a level of relief in her voice as well.

“Sounds like you were worried.” I poked.

“Hm, well, she’s been in a strange mood lately...” Noelle sighed. “I think losing to you earlier this month affected her more than she’s been letting on.”

I frowned. Lily’s endless negative comparisons of herself to me were... discouraging in a way I couldn’t describe. Every word that came out of her mouth took the shape of praise, but the tone with which she spoke was that of self-deprecation... And as the one she was comparing herself to, I really was not sure what I could say that wouldn’t sound like I was just boasting.

Maybe I could ask Opera for advice on this. This was a situation she had to deal with as well, after all.

“Though,” Noelle said with a lighter tone, “I’m also happy that fan of yours didn’t show her face again today.”

“Who, Digitan?” I asked. “I think she’s at Kokura today. She mentioned that a couple weeks ago; she said she was experiencing a ‘dirt deficiency’ or something.”

“No, no,” Noelle laughed. “The other one from a couple weeks ago. I think her name was, uh... Shimeiko?”

I was not the sort of person to start poking fun at people for having an odd name- I’d received plenty of that in... nevermind - But the name ‘Shimeiko’ immediately started ringing alarm bells in my head.

“Noelle, I know you’ve lived here a while, but you realize that Shimeiko is just about as obvious a pseudonym as one could give, right?” I asked, concern mounting in my voice.

“Huh?” Noelle blinked, looking a bit off guard.

I cleared my voice as I tried to explain this in English for her. “Shimei is like... [family name]. Or, um, no, that’s wrong, it’s more like [full name]. Or, depending on the kanji, it could mean [mission] or [purpose].”

Noelle blinked, not really understanding it. “Well... folks around here get named after things like flowers or snow all the time, right? Don’t most family names have roots meaning things like [rice field]?”

“Noelle,” I explained as patiently as I could without letting myself get terse with her, “How ridiculous would it be for someone to walk up to you and say, ‘[Hello, I am Name Girl]’? Whoever this was, they were clearly messing with you.”

Noelle’s face went red as embarrassment combined with indignant fury. “[That bla’ haired c#%$, so bloody feckin’ smug, think she can tell a bloody foreigner anythin’ she damn well pleases...]”

Maybe I shouldn’t have told her that. I didn’t even know some of the curse words she was uttering.

“So someone... claiming to be your fan gave me the fakest name this side of the Pacific, and asked me so many questions that I had to study the race again. From a recording.” Noelle fumed, enunciating slowly so as to not lose control over her grasp of the Japanese language in her frustration. “Who the hell was she, then?!”

=====

Most Wanted stared at the corkboard she had hanging in her office, trying to make sense of what she was looking at.

Her office was a dimly-lit, dingy affair- mostly by dint of laziness, and not by any sort of poverty she suffered. The room’s central overhead lighting had burnt out two of its three lightbulbs, and Most Wanted just hadn’t found the motivation to replace them- it meant going to the hardware store, and getting up on a chair, and she just didn’t have the time in the day to get that done. Or, well, she did, if she didn’t spend her evenings trying to trick overconfident salarymen into getting into a drinking contest with an umamusume... Even among her kind, Most Wanted had one hell of an iron liver. She prided herself on that, since she couldn’t exactly pride herself on her legs.

The disguise she used to pull off this hustle wasn’t hung up properly, but discarded across her office chair- a wide-brimmed black fedora and coat that she could tuck her ears and tail to. Since she was only looking for a good time and maybe someone who could match wits with her, Most Wanted usually ended her little prank by revealing her ears and paying the poor sap’s bar tab (and maybe for a taxi cab, if the guy got plastered enough). She had a handful of fake names she liked to use for this hobby of hers, though, since people usually pegged ‘Most Wanted’ as an umamusume name right away, and also because word got around about an umamusume who got her kicks by tricking men into giving themselves hangovers on their workdays.

This disguise and this collection of pseudonyms, as it happened, was also insanely useful for her detective work.

She really didn’t think she was gonna get away with telling Noelle McCormick that her name was ‘Shimeiko’, but the lady took it hook, line, and sinker. Foreigners made for such easy marks, it made Most Wanted feel just a little bad sometimes.

But that brought Most Wanted back to the dilemma in front of her. 

Matsuo Katsuo. Thirty-five years old, and the elusive trainer of the Centurial Overlord. His name popped up in a couple of articles from seven or nine years ago, small ones published online about racers who never really went anywhere. Poor fella was about as photogenic as a pile of unwashed laundry - She’d never seen a guy who looked more like a sopping wet cat in every single photo you took of him. Even when he was standing next to a gal who’d just won her first graded victory, he looked like he was about to burst into tears. Most Wanted could see why his mom was so concerned about him...

Then, about four or so years ago, he just about dropped off of the face of the planet. Stopped posting on social media accounts- stopped logging on entirely, as far as Most Wanted could tell, and never made appearances where the press could see him. His trainee was eager to hog the spotlight, so he let her, it seemed. His ma knew all this, of course, and she supposed that the stress of being the trainer of such an important racer must’ve weighed heavily on him.

Most Wanted had to agree with that. She followed the red string from Katsuo to TM Opera O... An important factor in all of this was the media circus that surrounded the girl. Despite how much she won - or because of how much she won, the Centurial Overlord was remarkably unpopular. The URA had such an overstock of Opera O merchandise that they were practically paying people to take it off their hands, all while Opera O herself was possibly the most well-paid racer in the history of the sport. She was so ridiculously unprofitable to the URA that most of her Dream Series career seemed to be doing catch-up on how much money she’d cost the suits - endorsements for sporting brands, public appearances, performances, all that jazz. What’s more, ever since one enterprising individual decided that he’d make his displeasure with the Overlord known by throwing a fucking shoe at her, the URA has kept a strict security detail around her whenever she left the grounds of Tracen Academy.

This made TM Opera O pretty much inaccessible. Most Wanted had her ideas on how she might get close enough to try and chat with Opera, but Most Wanted had decided to try and pursue other avenues first. Avenues that were less likely to get her in hot water with the chief.

Those avenues had brought her to a pile of paperwork that had been filed at the start of the year. Most Wanted had done some digging into Katsuo’s accounts, see if he’d filed any sort of last will and testament, that sort of thing. Nothing of the sort came up, but she did find some very, very interesting information.

His bank account was still open, but drier than a recovering alcoholic’s booze cupboard. Around halfway through January, he started wiring money to a different bank account. It wasn’t all at once- that would have tipped off the bank that something weird was going on and they’d have frozen his account. No, it was slow and steady, enough that the average auditor looking at a list of however many bazillion transactions was going on that day wouldn’t even raise their eyebrow. This could easily just have been helping a family member pay off a loan... or wiring money to his mom like he did before January. What’s more, Tracen stopped paying him - lining up with his supposed resignation from his position as trainer.

But Katsuo wasn’t spending money on anything else, and no money was going in. All of it had been transferred by mid-April. It was plain as day that this was fishy. Maybe someone else got a hold of his bank details, but cases of fraud were usually much less well-thought-out. Fraudsters usually took a ‘smash and grab’ mentality; they’d get ahold of someone’s banking details, take as much money as they dared in a single transaction, and then maybe if the account wasn’t immediately frozen they’d take one or two more bites over the next couple days. 

Most Wanted had actually once caught someone red-handed by waiting for him to make another withdrawal, but that was a story for another time.

No, this looked more like her quarry wanted to transfer all of his money to a different bank account - and normally, that wouldn’t be an issue if he’d just asked the bank nicely, but instead, he felt the need to go about it without raising any flags. That was the first big hint that Matsuo Katsuo was still alive.

And, what’s more, all of the transactions were headed to one place. Most Wanted followed the red thread connecting Matsuo Katsuo to another umamusume... but she was getting ahead of herself right now.

Most Wanted had followed the other paperwork as well. There was a deed transfer as well - Katsuo apparently just gave his house away to someone else without so much as selling it. Most Wanted had paid the place a visit the other night to see if anyone was home, maybe hoping that she’d just find the guy lounging about in his living room, but there wasn’t anyone there. The place was being taken care of by somebody, because the small garden in the back of the house hadn’t been completely overgrown with weeds, but it wasn’t like it was particularly well-maintained, either. The vehicle port also had rubber tracks leading up to it - They could’ve been left there from who knows how long ago, but it seemed to Most Wanted that someone had been making occasional visits to keep the place from looking abandoned, at least.

Most Wanted had also let herself inside for a quick look. Lockpicks sure did come in handy... Maybe she should’ve gotten a warrant, but she really just did not want to waste her time arguing with the chief as to whether or not she should be wasting her time on a different case. Better to ask forgiveness than permission and all that.

Sure as anything, the interior of the place wasn’t much better. The place was so sparsely-furnished that it was hard to believe anyone lived there at all. The place was dusty, but the sink was clean, at least. The fridge was empty and shut down - it looked like it had popped a coolant leak or something and nobody was around to notice.

If anyone was squatting in here, Most Wanted would have expected at least some garbage to be laying around, but the only pile of anything she found was a pile of gifts atop an unmade bed. Out of curiosity, Most Wanted had cracked one of them open.

It was a designer suit from Italy, fitted for an umamusume. The intended recipient was way shorter than Most Wanted, and it seemed that there was extra allowance in the chest area. What this was doing in Matsuo Katsuo’s house... Well, Most Wanted had some idea now, but at the time she’d made this discovery, she was completely mystified. She took a picture of the suit with her reliable old polaroid camera before vacating the property and locking it back up. She’d pushed her luck far enough snooping around in there, and she wasn’t going to get any more info out of an empty house unless she felt like staking out the place for a week to see who came by to take care of the garden (which she didn’t).

A red string connected Matsuo Katsuo’s house to that mysterious suit, and it also connected to something else... But there was one more major clue that had led Most Wanted to her current conclusion.

One of the coworkers that Matsuo Shizue had mentioned was one Noelle McCormick. She’d been a colleague of Katsuo’s, being a fellow trainer that he’d spoken about to his mother. Apparently an immigrant from Scotland who fancied her chances better in Japan than her old home country, Noelle McCormick was just one face among many- after all, there were hundreds of Trainers working at Tracen. It was a truly massive institution, and asking every single trainer there about Katsuo would be a waste of everyone’s time, even if it would eventually yield results.

Most Wanted probably would have written her off as just one of those random faces that if it wasn’t for the fact that in one of the few pictures Shizue did have of Katsuo, Noelle McCormick was standing right beside him- holding that Sirius Stakes trophy right next to Toy Rainbow.

‘Toy Rainbow claimed her first Graded Victory today,’ Read a newspaper article that Most Wanted had cut out and pinned to the corkboard next to the picture she had of Noelle. ‘After the race, this hard-trying umamusume credits her victory to the ceaseless efforts of her two trainers, Trainer McCormick and Trainer Matsuo.’

These two weren’t just coworkers. They had a history together.

That meant this Toy Rainbow gal was involved too, somehow, but Most Wanted hadn’t found anything on her yet. As far as race records went, she got one more trophy - the Toyota Sho, another G3 - before getting shut out for the rest of her career by the likes of Taiki Shuttle, Silence Suzuka, and Air Groove... No wonder she retired after that.

If anyone knew what had happened to Katsuo, though, it would be McCormick. Most Wanted didn’t know how close they were, but you don’t work on a team with someone to take home a trophy like that without being at least a little fond of each other. However, there was a good chance that wherever Katsuo was, he didn’t want to be found - and if he was working with McCormick, she wouldn’t be a cooperative witness.

But... the connection from McCormick to someone else was the thing that clinched all of this together... Where all of these red strings converged.

A single image, taken from Umastagram. An image that this girl had used to announce and celebrate her first victory in the Twinkle Series. An image of an umamusume, in one of the racecourse green rooms, wearing her signature racewear, and staring off to the side with a smile as she adjusted her hat.

The bank account that Katsuo was sending all of his funds to was in the name of Joie de Vivre.

Joie de Vivre’s career started right after Katsuo’s resignation.

The transfer of the house’s deed was to Joie de Vivre, and while Most Wanted hadn’t seen the gal up close, Joie de Vivre was short and curvy, meaning she was likely who the suit was tailored for. And if she was in the Twinkle Series, she’d be living at Tracen, not home.

And the trainer of Joie de Vivre was none other than Noelle McCormick. She’d gotten that much out of the lady during Joie’s Maiden race.

Hell, she even tied back to TM Opera O! Rumor on the street was that Joie was nicknamed ‘The Heiress’ by her colleagues, because she was being mentored by the Centurial Overlord herself. It was all just too perfect.

It all came back to her. Every single shred of evidence told Most Wanted that Joie de Vivre was the key to cracking this case wide open... But that was the problem.

The transfer of money from one identity to another. The transfer of deeds... It was ridiculously sloppy. Amateurish, even. It was the classic hallmark of someone faking their death, but Most Wanted had no motive for why Katsuo would do such a thing. It made some level of sense that he’d go by a different name to avoid the press, but-

The endpoint of Most Wanted’s theory was that Matsuo Katsuo was Joie de Vivre. That somehow, he’d faked his death and assumed the identity of an umamusume.

Which was obviously completely ridiculous. It made Most Wanted wonder if she was somehow drunk now that she’d put all of this together. Not only did Joie de Vivre look nothing like Matsuo Katsuo, she was extremely obviously a young woman while Katsuo was a middle-aged man. Unless he’d somehow managed to invent magic during his four years out of the public eye and just hadn’t told anyone, not even his mother, then this conclusion was impossible on the face of it. Hell, Most Wanted figured that Katsuo’s mom probably would have noticed if her son started taking HRT!

“Fuckin’ hell. Way to fish up the biggest red herrin’ in the world, Most...” Most Wanted swore aloud and pulled her hair out of her face. She leaned backwards to stare into her ceiling.

“I’m gonna have’ta start again from scratch, ain’t I...?

Notes:

This race was based on a 2yo maiden race, run on August 17, 2002. The real-life winner of this race was Tosen Lily.

I'm breaking my own rule here by not adapting All of Me's name even a little bit, but like... The joke is too perfect. Unfortunately, All of Me will not be making another appearance in this fic, and neither will her rival, Open Your Heart.

Just kidding. Those two would never have met. Open Your Heart is a german horse.

-----

NOELLE'S NOTES ON TOJEN LILY

TURF: B | DIRT: G

SPRINT: B | MILE: C | MEDIUM: D | LONG: G

The standardized performance metrics for umamusume were put into place so trainers could easily communicate information about their trainees with other trainers without needing to explain things at length, but boiling down a racer's abilities to a set of statistics has its issues. For one, The standardized rating system is biased towards top contenders, with 'A' meaning "capable of competing at a top level" and 'S' typically referring to abnormally high ability. As a result, the vast majority of umamusume never achieve a rating higher than 'B', since the comparison is always to greats like Special Week or Grass Wonder... Still, operating at 90% of what an umamusume like that is capable of is still something to be proud of, I think.

A disappointing byproduct of this system, though, is that most people consider these aptitudes to be set-in-stone natural abilities that cannot be overcome. Most of my colleagues don't give racers like Lily who don't have a single 'A' on their statsheets a second glance. It's also for this reason that trainees generally aren't allowed to see their trainers' notes on this; Lily seeing a 'C' in mile-distance races might discourage her even further from trying to compete.

It's my sincere hope that through training, we can overcome this hurdle.