Chapter Text
After a long op (which resulted in saving a couple hundred civilians from a collapsing bridge) Tim was assisting shocked citizens as his allias, Red Robin.
Even though he was in his element and usually loved helping out, he couldn't help being impatient and bored, desperate to get home to a probably ( and hopefully add this hour ) sound asleep Bernard dowd.
He was so cute when he slept, his strawberry blond bed head half in his face and (almost always ) there was a small river of drool seeping out from behind those perfect lips.
Tonight was a Tuesday, so according to Bernard's pajama rotation -which he followed very strictly (and adorably)- he'd be wearing his Batman pajamas. Ironic really , as he practically worshiped Batman with his steadily mounting theories about him and he had no idea his boyfriend knew him, even worked with him.
Tim smiled to himself. He was probably asleep right now and Tim could just picture it, Bernard curled up, snoring possibly, and looking absolutely adorable. Yet to anyone else this “cute” description would be greeted by raised eyebrows, but to Tim? Picturing Bernard like this, made his day. Tim was a sucker when it came to Bernard.
Him and Bernard had been having... difficulties regarding the red robin situation. Or more accurately: the secrets, and the lies, and the theories, and the excuses, and everything that made him a bad boyfriend or untrustworthy, not worth it. Not worth Bernards time.
His patience was running thin at Tim's unexpected, yet often, disappearances and it was because of this that Tim almost got regular texts halfway through patrol about waking and missing him.
Of course these texts were never passive aggressive or hinting at something, just sad and longing. Of course Tim's detective skills and his martyr complex ( that he somehow inherited from Dick) made it difficult for him to differentiate between the two. Yet no matter how bountiful the supply of patience once was, Bernard's was running out.
The endless conspiracy theories that Bernard spouted about where Tim disappeared to were becoming less joking each time. Bernard always said it jokingly but he had an air about him, a flicker of an eye, or a slight crease on his forehead, that gave it away to Tim's experienced detective skills.
Tim could always hear the underlying hurt in these seemingly loving quips and jokes.
Of course Bernard didn't know. Even though they had been dating for over a year now, the bat's rules were clear, strict and unyielding. No revealing identities. To anyone. Period. No exceptions. (Exept other trusted heros - thankfully because Tim knew he couldn't bare it if he had nobody outside the family to talk to. Even so, with other heros the rule still remained to ask b first).
Although - beginning with one or two but multiplying like falling dominos- the exceptions to the rule grew. Grew into such a large number that Tim was actually tweaking about how the rule still applied to him and Bernard.
B would of course insist to meet Bernard first as he was yet to meet the waynes but Tim was sure people still say no even after loads of begging and pleading. Bruce would probably come up with something to prevent telling. Something stupid. Like how Bern was too nice or gullible(even though he was probably the least gullible person Tim knew, and he knew freaking interrogator heros), or patient or bruce would come up with some shit that Bernard would be put in danger (as if Tim wouldn't be with him 24/7). Bruce might even manage to convince him into thinking he was doing Bernard and Tim a favour. So annoying.
He sent the last citizens safely on their way, and watched as his brother ( technically adopted brother although they were _both_ adopted) tie up the remaining ~bombers~ almost bombers. Dick Grayson (alias - nightwing) gave tim a nod and wave, and as if reading his mind, shouted from across the now deserted Street, "I'll take it from here you should go home, get some rest."
Tim sighed in exhaustion and relief ,"Thanks nightwing."
"You're welcome double-R" he grinned, voice chipper and-... well, -nightwing ,"I'm sure something is waiting for you back at your place, seen as your so eager to get back."
"How did yo-" Tim started, defensive.
"-or someone, huh little-red ?" He winked at a guilty looking Tim. There's what happens when you try disguising your feelings around a bat. Unfortunately they're experts at reading body language, facial expressions and emotions (although they're awful at expressing their own emotions!! )
Tim's one to talk though. He is a bat.
Tim watched his brother grappling away from the street , dragging the zip tied criminals along with him, undoubtedly going to the station and then back to the manor - where he was staying on his "vaycay weekend" away from blud. Or so he put it.
Tim decided against grappling home like Dick. Although it was quicker it was only a short walk along rooftops. Right now , he needed to clear his head.
As Tim walked over the surprisingly deserted and quiet streets of Gotham he replayed Bernard's and his most recent interaction in his head.
It was this evening, a few hours (or so) ago. He had just come back from an urgent mission with b, and couldnt wait to just sleep next to Bern before nighttime patrol. (For some reason his sleep schedule- even though he still lacked sleep- had improved since he started dating Bernard. It probably had something to do with Bernard's adorable sleeping face now that Tim thought about it. It just made Tim want to curl up next to him, snuggle, and oops . Neglect the cases and cases he had piled up in his to do list. Oh well, Dick said he needed to work on his relationships outside of vigilantism or he would end up- he's getting off track.)
Point being, Tim wanted to sleep (for the first time in forever- according to his new coffee machine), and Bernard was waiting for him when he got back to their shared apartment.
He was barely awake, lying on their pizza stained couch, head pushed up by pillows and lolling back slightly. He snuggled up against Tim as he sat by Bernard, "God I missed you Tim" he murmured, almost asleep. Tim smiled at his sleeping boyfriend softly.
Bernard, still half (more like 99% ) asleep, continued,"You're never here Tim, I miss you so much."
Tim holted his breath.
You're never here
"So much" Bernard murmured barely audible as he drifted off, unaware of the almost physical pain he just caused his boyfriend.
('It's your own fault', thought Tim, 'you can't blame Bernard, you have only yourself to blame-')
Tim thought often of the effect of his relationships outside his other life. The effects on Bernard and their relationship at the hands of his .... night job.
This time, the words made it feel different somehow. Real.
You're never here
He couldn't help but wonder. Would Bernard do better without Tim.
You're never here
The answer was quite obviously a yes but there were more questions Tim had. Because Bernard could do better, why - after a year - did he stay?
You're never here
Especially as Tim was always 'busy' and always cancelled their dates for 'work meetings'.
"CEO shit Bernard, I'm so sorry but I have to leave early" Tim had excused himself just last week .
"Its always CEO shit with you Tim. You work way too hard".
You're never here
He pushed away these thoughts, Bernards voice still fresh, echoing around his head as if it was mere moments ago, not hours...
You're never here
He instead focused on the small fun voice in the back of his mind. Bernard. "I love you Tim"
Bernard, it seemed, even in his memories, never failed to make Tim smile .
He walked in peaceful silence, jumping over gaps between the rooves occasionally and dodging chimneys and loose tiles absentmindedly and automatically, as if he'd been trained to do so...
Oh wait, he had.
So he walked.
And he was content.
Of course that was all until he heard a sound of distinct crying below him and directed his eyes away from the black, smoky sky- thick clouds obstructing the moon and stars so without the street lamps, Gotham would be plunged into the dark. But then it was Gotham.
At the source of the noise, sat two young boys. Or really (a more accurate depiction) he saw the second boy appeared to be older- Tim's age perhaps. Maybe sixteen or seventeen as he didn't seem to be an adult, just like Tim. The two were talking.
"It's ok it will be–"
"b-but I can't f-find just let me help"
"but-t"
The back and forth between them continued. They were sitting on the steps of a police station, the older boy trying to simultaneously comfort the younger, and direct him to the doors of the police station. The younger boy was having none of this however , and continued to cry harder.
Tim decided that now it was a good time to intervene and hopefully use his influence to convince the kid to go inside. At least Bruce wasn't here. In all seriousness, that would be ... really annoying. Tim didn't want another robin. He also doubted Damian would be altogether pleased. But he knew they no matter how hard he tried the kid, would no doubt become a robin under Bruce's help.
He jumped down from the rooftop and allowed his footsteps to make noise, making his presence known to the two boys.
"Excuse me-", he started but stopped, gasping. His heart jumped slightly as both older and younger directed their attention to him. He wasn't shocked, well he was, it was just.... unexpected. His mouth almost dropped open but he hurried to control himself and mask his emotions once again.
The younger boy was about six, maybe seven. He had piercing blue eyes, which were wet with crying, and jet black hair. The features kind of reminded Tim of a younger Dick.
Yet it was not the kid who made Tim loose the direction in his sentence. The younger was not the one to trigger Tim's eyes widening slightly, letting himself look shocked for a few seconds. The child was not the one to make Tim think he was hallucinating or projecting his thoughts into a hallucination infront of him, before Tim composed himself, coughing to clear his throat and continuing his offer of help
The older boy was the one who stopped Tim mid sentence. The one who was now looking at Tim expectantly, looking for help. His strawberry blond hair moving slightly yet noticeably in the light evening Gotham wind. His brown eyes connected withe Tim's masked one's in a way that still made Tim's stomach flutter as if he was a fifteen year old boy, still confused at why another boy made him feel that way..
Bernard Dowd was staring at Tim. ( And wow did he look breathtaking )
Well actually, Bernard wasn't staring at Tim specifically. More accurately, he was staring at red robin. Even so, Tim's boyfriends eyes on him made Tim feel weak in the knees(unless that's his sleep deprivation talking).
Tim mentality shook it off.
Nope. You are red robin right now. Not Tim. You are not Bernards boyfriend right now. Bernard is with Tim Drake. Focus.
Tim couldn't help but wonder why Bernard was out at this hour (the irony / hypocrisy of that Tim had to admit) but he needed to stay focused. He was tired. No getting distracted.
Tim realised he's probably been frozen in place visibly for longer than normal and felt his cheeks heat up. Shit shit shit shit shittttt.
Tim Red robin, nodded to Bernard a civilian with whom he had never met and had no affiliation with(as red robin). He crouched down so he was at the young boys eye level.
The kid's eyes were wide, looking at the vigilante, "are y-you robi-n" he stammered. He was still slightly hiccuping after crying (which was cute) but now his eyes were filled with awe, rather than tears ( even cuter ).
Tim smiled , "Red Robin", he corrected kindly, "and I'm here to help. All you need to do is to let us ", he signaled towards himself and Bernard, " help you to get to that police station",he pointed again, "there, which will be filled with people who can help".
"Noo", the kid pouted again and is voice lifted a couple of pitched higher in stubbornness ( this was actually baby Dick?!). There was a cute angry scowl plastered across his face as well, which reminded him of Damian (again, Tim was so thankful that Bruce wasn't there because there was no was this kid wasn't getting adopted and robin-ified- Damian wasn't ready to give up robin yet).
It took around 10 minutes longer of convincing (in which time learned the kid's name was Jason, so either it was meant to be , or it would be too weird for this kid to be a robin), but finally the kid agreed to go into the building. Tim kept accidently looking at Bernard during this convincing time (as if entranced which is shiting great ). Bernard smirked. Oh shit he definitely noticed. Damn Tim your awful at looking at your boyfriend discreetly. Maybe he didn't notice.... maybe....
Whilst Bern took the boy in to explain about him loosing his parents in the chaos of earlier, Tim waited outside, in the shadows.
After a little paperwork, Tim watched Bernard walk away from the front desk as the kid was escorted elsewhere.
Good. Everything was okay. But why was Tim still here. God he had to get back in the zone, he was being sloppy, more coffee would do it Tim thought (because of course he wouldn't think about actual sleep.)
He got out his graphel. If he left now, there was a strong chance he could get home and pretend to be asleep when Bernard got back. That way, it ment no questions, no questions till the morning that was. Bernard would have woken and seen Tim gone so of course there would be questions. But this way , they'd be saved till morning.
Wait why was Bernard out at this hour???
Tim fired the graphel.
Why wasn't he in bed at home???(Ignore the irony/ hypocrisy because Tim is a vigilane. He has an excuse. Kinda.)
There was the little ```click``` to let him know it was safe to release.
Why was he with that kid, how did he get there???
Tim was about to release the graphel and disappear, swinging away into the Gotham night.
Why-
He let a gasp escape his mouth ( 'A momentary and idiotic display of weakness Drake' , Damian's little voice echos in his head). A hand had rested on his shoulder, putting a stop to the strong surge of thoughts and putting Tim on high alert. It was like a wire in his brain had been cut , leaving sparks to crackle off the ends, as Tim's body span - on guard - to see ... who ?
He had been so unforgivably unaware of his surroundings (b wouldn't be pleased) that he hadn't noticed the telly tale clicks of the station doors opening and closing, or the crunch of litter under Bernards feet as he approached (idiotic really, as Bernard was walking loudly, due to him being practically knee deep in Gotham's littered alleyways , and the fact he had a rogue plastic bottle label stuck to the underside of one of his favourite Adidas trainers).
The graphel pulled back into the gun. Tim harnessed it back into his utility belt. Bernard moved closer to Tim, "thanks for the help back there, and -you know- all the help you give to the city".
"Yes, of course, it's what I do" Tim half muttered resisting the overpowering urge to kiss his boyfriend. He wanted to scream. Bernard looked scarily good in the simple purple hoodie and baggy jeans. His strawberry blond hair was pushed out of his face and he had unmistakable bags under his eyes ( granted, it was like 3am and Tim probably had a matching pair under his domino mask). Anyway, Tim was down bad. It took all his willpower not to kiss him.
'Damn' Tim thought 'i have a really hot boyfriend'.
Bernard stepped closer
Tim had really strong willpower.
Bernards behaviour had completely changed since the kid went inside the station. His face was kind ( past tense because ) now in it's place was a wide smirk.
Damn he should be a green lantern with willpower like that.
Every aspect of Tim's body urged him forward, to attack Bernards extremely kissable lips. His reactions and responses - most likely the only sane part of him left after years of b and his emotional constipation - told him not to do it would be stupid to ignore it.
'Shit stop thinking' he thought.
Ironic
He was babbling in his brain from nerves (due to Bernard obviously NOT resisting and he was moving closer and closer and closer and-)
Shit
"No really", Bernard continued, his other hand finding a way to Tim's," I think you do great work". The hand was snaking up his arm and rested on Tim's shoulder. His other was still gently but firm holding Tim's wrist, and his smile was full of.... lust? "I really should thank you perhaps" he paused (for dramatic effect- as always) his voice was low (dangerously and devistationly) and silky smooth- like hot chocolate. "With more than just words".
Tim choked on air.
Oh this was fricking hot
But (unfortunately) he was still a hero "no, no it's quite alright" Tim decided on the big blue approach (as steph tended to call it ) blissful ignorance, sounding like a boy scout.
"But is it?" Bernards hand rested now at the top of his suit ( where a collar would be on one of his regular civvie shirts) and he practically breathed out the words so that only Tim could hear- not that anyone was around (but, it was Gotham and an abandoned alleyway. You really couldn't take any chances.)
Why did he need willpower again?
The hand gripped tighter around the armoured suit. Tim was just about to give in (didn't really take much) and lean in towards his boyfriend, but something made him freeze in place.
wait
No?
No
Bernard is flirting with him
But that's not right
Because Bernard is flirting with red robin
And not Tim drake
Tim drake being Bernard's Boyfriend
And
Well
Bernard is not with red robin
And Bernard doesn't know who red robin is
Bernard doesn't know they're two of the same
He doesn't know
Oh shit
Does? Does this mean that_ _Bernard? Bernard is a...
a...
....cheater?
No! Because he can't be! This was a mistake somehow. His sweet loving amazing boyfriend could never...
It was just a simple misunderstanding
a misunderstanding?
But Bernard was so obviously flirting that it couldn't be..
But
Bernard was a cheater? He was cheating on Tim.
Oh god that took a moment to settle.
It didn't help that Bernard was cheating on Tim , with Tim. By textbook definition, Bernard wasn't cheating but he didn't know that Tim was red robin so this ment that at least Tim had caught him in the act. At least . At least it wasn't with anyone else. At least. His face burnt .He felt his heart beating unnaturally loudly in his chest. Unless he was just more aware of it . He fekt it crack. At least...
His spiral and trance of unanswered questions was broken by Bernard ( always Bernard) pulling the collar area of the suit down (right, he was still here and this was still happening), to expose Tim's collar bone and surrounding skin. Adjacent to which, was a particular nasty (or gnarly ) scar (whichever way you look at it).
The back of his neck moved down, a chain reaction. Bernard dragged Tim's head towards his by the suit. Forcing his head down to look at Bernards perfect beautiful face. Fuck Tim this is not the right time to be hopelessly fucking in love!!!
Oh god Bernard. He looked like an angel, the irony. Tim was practicing melting though. His boyfriend was way too hot, as stated previously, Tim was down bad.
Really bad.
Really really very bad.
And right now that wasn't a good thing. So fricking hot, why did he have to be a cheater?(Or Tim would've kissed him by now)
Bernards breath grazed his skin as his head tilted to face Tim's ear. Tim (absent mindly) leaned into his touch, the warmth of Bernards breath practically dragged him in, so he couldn't help himself.
Fuck. What was he thinking? What was he doing? Bernard was a cheater !!!!
It didn't help that he was so cute and...
Snap out of it Tim!!!!
As much as Tim hated to admit it, bear was a cheater and he needed to snap out of it.
Before he could pull away however, red robin realised Bernard was talking again, "oh god", he practically breathed, barely audible, "You're so fucking hot when you're flustered." He laughed slightly tickling the inside of Tim's ear as he did so. Tim felt slightly gross, "you should see your face , it's bright red! But for some reason that makes me want you even more Tim."
Okay that was it, the final straw. The little groan that Bernard let out before nuzzling his head into Tim's neck did it. He had to go. Maybe he could run back home, back to the apartment, he'll pretend nothing happened. Or if he can't face Bernard, he'd go to the manor. The manor! He can stay there whilst -
-wait
What?
What did-
What?
If Tim was a robot, he would have a visable buffering symbol above his head. Unfortunately that was left to Bernard's imagination instead because (spoiler alert!) Tim was not a robot. Even so the cogs turning in red robins head were quite easy to picture. He was completely frozen in place, mouth hanging open in a comical 'o' shape.
Bernard continued to pull the top of the suit lower down revealing more of Tim's skin, apparently oblivious to Tim's obvious confusion."Hmmm", Bernard wondered aloud to a speechless Tim," That's .... funny."
He whispered so quietly it forced Tim to lean into his lips, closer still.
"My boyfriend has a scar exactly like that ", his head moved from Tim's ear to his neck where his gnarly/nasty scar was- now completely visable, "right there." Bernard lifted his head and his beautiful chocolate brown eyes met Tim's blues.
He knew?!
Oh shit, he did know !!!
How???
What -
When
Why
Where
Who-
Well, at least Bernard wasn't a cheater but-
How did he find out?
-but this was still pretty bad.
Wait- was this only a theory Bernard had and decided to test it, if it was and Bernard was completely sure...
But what if he wasn't completely sure...
What if-
-Unless this wasn't real?
Maybe that's it!
He was strapped to a machine, electrodes plugged in his brain, feeding him his guiltiest desires , because maybe Tim felt a little too happy at the prospect of not having to live in secrets and lies every day...
But then his secrets!!
They'd reveal his secrets!
They would do all sorts of horrible horrible things to everyone Tim cared about - bernard-
His spiraling was cut off. The rushed terrified thoughts silenced. The outcomes and imaginary scenarios ended and suddenly as they came.
Why?
Bernard was kissing him( both Tim and Red Robin- as they were the same). Their lips were pressed so tightly together, that Tim would've predicted the outcome would include both sporting red puffy lips. Would've predicted . Would've being the key word because Tim wasn't predicting anything any time soon. His thoughts died the moment Bernard put his lips on Tim's.
Bernard pushed Tim, lips still attached, against the alley wall.
```Crunch```, the sickly crack of concrete to his skull echoed around the alleyway.
Tim groaned feeling the pain rush though is throbbing head. 'Shit', he heard Bernard breath, pulling back. He echoed a louder ,'shit', still, when Tim groaned again.
Tim saw stars in his closed eyes, vision corrupted and his head ached.
But the stars weren't from the wall, and the groan wasn't from the impact or from the pain. The stars were from the kiss. The groan was from... Bernard.
'Shit' Tim thought, echoing Bernards earlier sentiment in his head, 'I may have a ....pain kink??'
Oh well, they'd deal with that later.
Red Robin's arms moved without direction, flailed upward, and wrapped around Bernards head, pulling them closer, the gap between them smaller, and kissing harder, more vigour, more aggressive, more, more, more...
Bernard looked as if he wanted to pull away and check if Tim was okay but stayed in place when Red Robin yanked him even closer so he was pinning the ex boy wonder against the wall.
'If my high school self could see me now' Bernard vaguely thought before ceasing (to think, he was too into it).
They broke apart panting for breath. The kiss was amazing. It was like many they'd shared before, but not. It was better. Better in so many ways. It felt like Tim was finally opening up to Bernard. Telling him the truths in one beautiful kiss and it was amazing. No more secrets. No more lies. Just Tim and Bernard intertwined in one of Gothams many alleyways.
Electrodes couldn't simulate that.
Yep, this was definitely real. So ( unfortunately) was the new found throbbing pain running through his skull. Great.
To be honest, Tim really wanted to ask Bernard everything. He could probably come up with a million questions (no exaggeration), like: how did you know, how long have you known, why were you here tonight, did you plan to tell me you knew, did you know before tonight or only just relised, did you know you were flirting with me, have you been planning this,did you come to help or tell me, did you know what would happen, was the little boy thing staged, do you know about anyone else, how exactly did you find out, ...
Obviously he wanted to ask (and in turn, spiral into oblivion ) but one look in his boyfriends gorgeous eyes shut him up. Questions later, because right now? Oh god he needed more, much more.
'Damn it I am down bad' Tim groaned internally.
Without another thought, he wrapped his arm around Bernards waist and lifted him into the air. They flew through the ally and then, past into the street, across the town, towards the rooftops untill they were flying over the whole of a cloudy Gotham city, Bernards eyes were shinning like stars, guiding a way through the darkness. Tim's hand clutched his graphel as hard as he could. And for once, dispute the pollution and grey, Gotham felt magical to Tim, who had just felt a weight lift of his shoulders.
They landed on the rooftop of their apartment complex (they almost crash landed but apparently lucky was now on Tim's side tonight -as if it was apologising for the earlier... mistake).
Bernard and Tim proceeded on in comfortable silence. Bernard was smirking still, but less so from the way back home- he was shocked and windswept (which Tim found really cute) and so Tim was smiling to, because of that and relief.
They stopped infront of their door after walking through the dark and dingy hallway. Tim unlocked the door (clumsily but the gesture was not lost on his boyfriend). He held it open and Bernard gave him a peck on the forehead as thanks and continued inside. Tim breathed a sigh of relief (Bernard definitely wasn't mad at him, hopefully, he should be because of Tim's lies but he didn't think Bernard was mad. Unless he was just waiting till morning. He'd leave it till then he decided).
They kicked of their shoes and Tim ( who no longer had to hide his combat boots) uncaringly left his strewn across the doorway next to Bernard's favourite (and now abandoned along with Tim's) trainers.
The door shut behind them.