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“Once a Selkie finds its skin again, neither chains of steel nor chains of love can keep her from the sea.” – The Secret of Roan Inish
It is said that two seals come to island's pebble beach every year.
They rest away from the others, near the dunes, and it is not uncommon to see them affectionately resting their foreheads against each other. Their movements are always imbued with great gentleness, an incredibly touching care that leaves those who manage to catch a glimpse of them moved almost to tears.
It is said that one of them has golden eyes and that the sun sometimes bathes the second one's left fin a bluish sheen.
It is said that they are always together, that they are the new incarnation of two lovers who used to live on the island's, and that nothing can separate them.
Not betrayal, not even death.
***
It was over.
His life was over.
His work was going to be destroyed, he was going to be expelled from the Academy, he was going to lose his funding...
Life was no longer worth living.
The icy coastal wind whipped Jayce's face, immediately chasing away the tears that rolled and froze on his cheeks. He climbed the island's cliff with heavy steps, stumbling through the tall grass as if he were carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Only the moon accompanied him on his journey, sometimes disappearing behind a few clouds as if to give him the opportunity to turn back without having to endure its judgmental and pitying gaze if he gave up.
But Jayce did not walk back.
He had made his decision, and nothing – no one – could change his mind.
He had waited until his mother had left the island after almost five days by his side to write his farewell letter, had foolishly put on a raincoat to face the autumn cold, and had left his small cottage without looking back.
Jayce closed his eyes as he dropped his leather bracelet into the grass, the one that had never left him since he had found his blue stone on that same beach, years ago.
He would no longer need it.
For years, he had been convinced that he had found a magical artefact, a lucky charm that would help him find the door to a world of magic and enchantment, or even a token of friendship and protection from a mythical creature that would watch over him from afar... But he had been wrong. He was alone, and there was nothing magical in this world.
Each step was heavier than the last, his boots slipping in the mud, and Jayce let his gaze drift briefly to the beach below. Carefree grey seals dived into the waves, reappearing several feet away. Although the sight usually brought a smile to his face, it failed to spark the usual joy in his numb heart, even when he noticed one of them seemed to follow him with its gaze.
Even as a child, when Jayce and his mother had just moved there, he would beg her to take him to the beach every weekend so he could watch the seals. Fairy tales and magical stories had become his refuge, his remedy to loneliness since the day they had moved here, and he had immersed himself body and soul in the myths of the island. He was obsessed with shape-shifting and legends about double identities, and he had always searched the seals' eyes for clues, for proof that one of them was a Selkie, capable of taking human form. Although Jayce had never made the discovery he had hoped for, watching the seals had always brought him both fascination and joy, especially when there were pups around. He always felt that the seals were watching him back with their big black eyes, and for a while, he had been convinced that they understood both him and his loneliness.
With a resigned sigh, Jayce looked away and kept his eyes fixed on the edge of the cliff.
Perhaps the seals would carry his body away once it hit the water or the rocks below? Perhaps he would be swallowed by the sea, embraced by its waves, disappearing forever?
Jayce's throat tightened, and when he reached the edge of the cliff, he froze. The wind howled, made his jacket flap against his body as if trying to pull him back, to push him away from the void...
But Jayce did not flinch, did not falter.
He simply watched the grey sea swell on the horizon, crashing onto the coast and caressing the beach with its waves. For a moment, he was at peace with the world around him, the roar of the ocean seeming to mirror his inner turmoil. The connection was so strong that he felt the cold seeping into his limbs as he stood motionless. He slowly clenched his fists, almost feeling his joints creak despite the howling wind in his aching eardrums.
It was over.
He no longer had to suffer.
The sea seemed to open its arms to him, waiting for him like a mother would wait for her child to return after years of separation...
Jayce closed his eyes.
Lifted his right foot.
And finally, he...
"Am I interrupting?"
Jayce jumped violently and instead of stepping forward towards the waves crashing below, he stumbled backwards and fell into the tall grass.
Heart pounding, uncontrollable tears blurring his vision, he turned to face a man dressed in white standing a few steps away. Ashamed at the thought of being discovered but also strangely relieved at being stopped, he felt a mix of exhaustion, fury, and terror grow in his chest as he raised his voice.
"What the hell is wrong with you?! Why would you even sneak out on me like tha-...?"
But his voice caught in his throat as he wiped away his tears and was able to make out the blurry figure that had interrupted him.
It was indeed a man. A man with shoulder-length hair and amber eyes. But contrary to what Jayce had thought he saw through his tears, his saviour was not dressed in white.
In fact, except for a kind of grey blanket draped over his shoulders, which he held in place with one hand, he was not dressed at all. And the almost ghostly whiteness was nothing more than his skin, which seemed to reflect the pale glow of the moon.
Seeming anything but troubled by his own nakedness, the man watched him with quiet curiosity, head slightly tilted and eyebrows barely furrowed, and Jayce suddenly had the strange feeling that he was the more naked of the two, as if his mind was laid bare to the stranger who had just saved his life.
He shook his head to chase the feeling away before standing up, legs as shaky as a fawn's as he stammered.
"Sorry, I shouldn't have shouted. You surprised me.
- I understand. I'm sorry, that wasn't my intention."
The stranger's voice was deep, slightly hoarse, and a lilting accent softened the hard syllables of his words. He adjusted the blanket over his shoulders and continued softly.
"What were you doing?
- I... I was... Well, I just wanted to..."
The man did not lower his gaze, holding Jayce's evasive eyes with his own unflinching amber orbs, and the scientist rubbed his clammy hands on his trousers before answering in a low voice.
"I was taking a walk."
The stranger nodded, looking anything but fooled.
"Your path was taking you very close to the edge, don't you think?"
Jayce let out a joyless laugh, a sound that echoed between them like a hysterical sob. He didn't feel the tears rolling down his cheeks, frozen by the wind, but he distinctly felt his voice break when he replied.
"You could say that, yes."
The man's lips curled slightly, not enough to be called a smile, more of a faint, barely amused wince.
"Don't lose hope: I'm sure things will work out in the end."
Jayce's eyes widened and his heart skipped a beat.
"Sorry?
- I know that look and that gait. I know you were hoping to eh... stumble during your night walk. I know it feels like it will never get better. But I am also certain that you are loved and that your loved ones would miss you if something ever happened to you. And I know things will definitely get better."
Jayce felt his chin begin to tremble, the lump in his throat threatening to strangle him, tears welling up in his eyes again. He had been unmasked, completely exposed by a man he had never seen before... And yet, this outstretched hand, these words, felt like a balm on his broken heart.
I see you, the stranger seemed to say, and you are worth it.
Even his mother had not understood him so accurately... She who had called him mad in front of the Academic Council...
She who had stabbed him in the back before hugging him...
"My life is over," croaked Jayce.
The man sought his gaze. "Perhaps that's how it seems to you now, but this is just a rough patch. Your life is worth living. And that's why you need to be more careful during your... walks.
- I've been expelled from the Academy, I can kiss my doctorate and my inventions goodbye..."
The man frowned and rubbed his chin. "So you're a scientist.
- I was...
- You can still publish your research, yes?
- Without the Academy's support, I won't reach any audience.
- Then you'll have to find support elsewhere, perhaps from sponsors?
- No one will support the research of a former student who was expelled.
- What are you working on?"
The stranger seemed genuinely interested, waiting for his answer with sincere curiosity, and Jayce swallowed hard, stifling his sobs.
"I wanted to improve people's lives... I was working on a new source of renewable, non-polluting energy, but there was an accident in the lab and I... I ruined everything..."
A glimmer of interest and fascination flashed across the man's golden eyes as he let out a small 'hm' signalling his reflection. "Interesting. Very interesting indeed. You're an idealist.
- That's what my superiors think too...
- I didn't say it was a bad thing. Quite the opposite, actually," the stranger tried to reassure him. "I find it fascinating. And how is your research coming along?
- It was almost finished. All I needed was one conclusive test and everything would have been different...
- Then do that other test, find the right variables and repeat the experiment several times. And then find yourself a sponsor, academic or otherwise. I'm sure someone other than me will see your dream's potential."
Jayce felt himself blushing, and without really understanding why he suddenly felt that way, knowing that this man was interested in his project filled him with a silly wave of hope.
"Do you... Do you think I have a chance?
- I'm sure of it.
- Why?"
The man seemed surprised by his question, and Jayce continued. "Why are you trying to help me? You don't even know me."
The stranger searched for words for a few moments, his free hand absent-mindedly stroking his chin, and when he replied, his voice was confident.
"Because your life is worth living. And because you want to change the world for the better. It's a dream we share, and I know your idea has the potential to do that. So you mustn't give up. And starting now, you must walk further from the edge during your nightly walks," he finished with a wink.
The man slowly held out his free hand towards him, palm up, and Jayce's breath caught again.
There, in the stranger's open hand, the moon cast glowing reflections on the blue stone that adorned his leather bracelet.
"I believe this belongs to you."
Jayce swallowed hard, eyes once again filled with tears, and he whispered as he moved closer.
"I... I must have dropped it.
- Of course."
The man made a small movement forward, as if inviting him to take the bracelet, and Jayce obeyed, his chest tightening in a vice that loosened slightly when his hand touched the stranger's. There was the familiar feel of stone and leather, of course, but he felt a wave of peace wash over him as he touched the man's cold, immaculate skin.
Blown away, he looked up and found himself immersed in the stranger's eyes, drowning in the amber of his irises. For a second, he felt cut off from reality: the wind no longer whipped his cheeks, the sea no longer roared below... There was only the golden ocean of his saviour's eyes and the salty smell of the coast…
And finally, with that single touch, the world regained its colours.
"I don't think I know you," Jayce whispered. "Do you live on the island?
- I'm just passing by."
Jayce nodded, relieved that his memory wasn't playing tricks on him, but still troubled by this man who continued to observe him with interest.
"I'm Jayce.
- Pleased to meet you, Jayce."
The way he pronounced his name sent a shiver down his spine, as if delicate fingers were running up his back in a soft caress, and he shuddered, unable to control the goosebumps that suddenly covered his skin.
"Pleased to meet you... Um..." He searched for words, then let out a small laugh. "Sorry, I don't know your name."
The man tilted his head slightly, blinked, and his response seemed to resonate in Jayce's heart, striking a chord that had been dormant and untouched for too long.
"It's Viktor."
Jayce breathed in before repeating his name.
Viktor held his gaze, as if trying to read his thoughts, and this time his lips curved into a faint smile. Perhaps it was due to the desperate fascination visible on Jayce's face, or maybe it was because of his astonished expression? In any case, Viktor let out a small sound, an almost silent, delighted hum when Jayce thanked him in a hoarse voice.
"Glad I could get your bracelet back for you. Be careful on your way home, yes?
- I promise.
- And don't give up on your research: it's worth it."
The man took a step back, and as their hands stopped touching, the cold immediately chilled Jayce to the bone. As he began to shiver, he suddenly looked away, remembering that the man was still naked and that they were only a few inches apart.
He stepped back, coughing and searching for words, the sentences jostling in his mind.
Why did you stop me?
What are you doing here in the middle of the night?
Where are your clothes?
None of them crossed his lips. Instead, his cheeks flushed red and he whispered.
"You must be cold."
Viktor blinked once, twice, before pouting slightly. "I don't think so."
Then, after a brief silence, he followed Jayce's gaze, frowned, and, as if suddenly aware of his nakedness, he removed the cloak from his shoulders and held it tightly against his chest.
"Maybe a little."
Jayce didn't hesitate for a moment. Despite the cold seeping into his bones, he took off his own jacket and placed it on the man's shoulders, keeping his eyes firmly fixed on his saviour's face rather than letting them wander over his diaphanous skin.
"There, that'll keep you warm."
Viktor raised an eyebrow and lowered his head, examining the long coat that enveloped him entirely. As he stepped back, Jayce briefly brushed against the cape that the man was still clutching to his chest... And he quickly withdrew his hand with a start, the rough sensation sending shivers down his spine.
He had foolishly expected to touch fabric and was surprised by a slightly damp and rough material, almost like hair.
Viktor took a step back, face suddenly wary, and he clutched the cloak more tightly to himself, with almost protective gestures. Immediately, Jayce felt compelled to justify himself.
"Sorry, I was surprised. Where are... Where are your clothes?"
The man looked at him with a hint of suspicion before relaxing again. "Well... It looks like you're not the only one losing things on your walk."
A small laugh escaped Jayce's lips, a strangled sound that was swallowed up by the wind.
"There's quite a difference between a bracelet and a pair of trousers."
Viktor smiled again. "Indeed. I left my clothes on the beach while I went for a swim and now I can't find them. Maybe someone wanted to play a trick on me."
Jayce's eyes widened.
"You went swimming in this weather?
- Why, yes."
The man had replied with such seriousness that Jayce burst out laughing for the first time in weeks, a hysterical laughter that doubled him over. Of course, there was the joke told with a deadpan expression, but that burst was enough to open the floodgates of his heart and release the overflow of emotions he had been carrying since the day of the accident in the lab. Since that moment, his life had been devoid of colour, made up of blurred black and white silhouettes, and he had been overcome by a flood of negative emotions – fury, injustice, anguish, despair, betrayal...
So rather than crying and curling up in a ball on the muddy ground, Jayce laughed at the tricks fate had played on him. He laughed at the situation he found himself in, and he laughed at not being able to complete his final pilgrimage to the cliff...
It took him several long seconds to calm his laughter in order to wheeze.
"Sorry, I wasn't expecting that."
Viktor simply smiled.
"It seems to me you needed that laugh.
- Yeah... Yeah, I think I did.
- In that case, I'm glad I was able to help you once more.
- Do you want me to help you look for your clothes?
- That won't be necessary. You'd better go home to avoid catching a cold." He glanced down at the beach and continued softly. "I have to go. Will you be able to find your way home?
- Yes, but I-...
- Good. Be careful, Jayce. And take care of yourself."
Viktor pretended to take off his coat to give it back to him, but Jayce stopped him by placing his hands on his shoulders.
"Keep it."
The man glanced at his left shoulder, looking a little unsettled by the touch, then looked up at Jayce again and smiled.
"That's too generous, I can't accept it.
- Of course you can. After all, you..."
You saved my life.
"You need it more than I do.
- In that case, I promise to bring it back.
- You don't have to. I mean: I have plenty at home.
- So do I. So I'll bring it back here tomorrow morning."
Driven by a sudden boldness and the heat that had swelled in his chest, Jayce found himself blurting out.
"You can bring it to my place, it'll be easier. And that way I can offer you a cup of tea to thank you.
- That would be... I'm afraid that might be a bit complicated."
As Viktor hesitated, slightly uncomfortable, his gaze darting furtively from Jayce to the beach, the scientist hastily added. "I could also tell you more about my work, if you're interested."
A glimmer of interest flashed across Viktor's eyes as he took one last look at the beach before murmuring.
"Maybe I could..."
Relief washed over Jayce who felt his lips stretch into a smile he couldn't suppress.
"Great. My house is a bit out of the way, not too far from the cliff, and you'll find it at the end of the road..."
For a second, Viktor suddenly looked horrified, but that look vanished immediately as he offered in an even voice. "Perhaps we could meet here?
- Sure, whatever makes you more comfortable.
- Great. See you tomorrow, Jayce."
The man took a step back, and only then did Jayce notice that he was limping.
"Wait, you... Are you hurt?"
Viktor looked down at his leg and shifted his cloak slightly, as if to hide it, and he grimaced.
That was all the answer Jayce needed.
"Oh my God, I'm sorry I didn't notice it sooner! Did you hurt yourself swimming? Or on the beach looking for your clothes? Wait, I'll take you to the doctor right away!"
Horrified that he hadn't been more attentive and suddenly overcome with panic, Jayce quickly grabbed his phone and began dialling the number of the island's doctor. Never mind the late hour: Viktor needed immediate medical attention!
But the man shook his head, looking as amused as Jayce was frightened.
"No need to bother the doctor: I was born with it, he can't do anything to help me.
- Let me guess: your cane disappeared with your clothes."
Viktor shrugged, and Jayce felt both incomprehension and fury burning in his throat. He couldn't believe that the island's children could have hidden not only his clothes, but also his cane. He knew that kids sometimes liked to play tricks on tourists, but this was going too far! Part of him found it surprising – after all, the children here were anything but bullies – but perhaps they had fallen under some bad influence?
"I'll walk you back," Jayce decided immediately. "You're staying at the bed and breakfast in town, right?
- Thank you for your concern, but that won't be necessary," Viktor reassured him calmly. "I'm just going to continue my walk before heading home.
- In this weather?"
The stranger tilted his head to one side again. "The weather didn't seem to bother you either."
Jayce let out a small laugh but couldn't suppress a shiver. "Fair enough... But I had a few more layers than you."
Viktor smiled at him, a grin that was both knowing and amused. "I'm well-dressed for the weather now, thanks to you. You'd better go home before you catch a cold.
- Same goes for you.
- I promise I won't stay out any longer than necessary and that I'll be there tomorrow morning."
Viktor's amber gaze slid over the scientist's face before he took another step back.
"See you tomorrow, Jayce.
- See you tomorrow."
Jayce watched the man walk away slowly, limping on his injured leg and still clutching the hem of his coat and that strange, grey cape, leaving him alone with his questions. Once Viktor was out of sight, Jayce slowly turned around and headed in the opposite direction. Even though this man had saved his life, the scientist was not blinded by gratitude (or at least not entirely). Something was off with Viktor, and it wasn't just because he had seen fit to come to the rescue of a stranger when he was not wearing any clothes.
Deep down, there was something almost supernatural about his intervention and his very presence, as if he were a forest or sea spirit sent by a supreme entity to watch over him...
Jayce was a scientist: he had developed his rational mind throughout most of his life and should not have believed in the supernatural... And yet, he had grown up on this island, steeped in its legends and stories, its rituals and traditions, but also in those that his mother had brought with her from her homeland and shared with him, so that part of him had never really stopped believing, never stopped asking himself that one small question that could be summed up in two words.
What if?
What if the island had a Fae guardian? What if the spirits of the forest did watch over the inhabitants who showed them the respect they deserved? What if something inexplicable was not a matter of science but of the magic of an ancient world? What if the fantastic creatures whose legends haunted the island were real?
Jayce turned around with a curse and ran down the cliff, heart pounding.
Idiot!
"Wait! Viktor!" he shouted into the wind.
If Viktor was hiding something, he wouldn't come back the next morning. He might even have left the island by the time the sun rose! Jayce had to stop him from disappearing at all costs. He had to catch up with him!
But when he stumbled down to the foot of the cliff, Viktor was nowhere to be found.
Jayce was alone on the beach. He had missed his chance... And perhaps he would never see his mysterious saviour again.
Out of breath, Jayce scanned the area before leaning forward with a curse.
When he raised his head, he prayed that Viktor would reappear, but no one stood on the pebbles, and only the seals watched him from the dark sea, as if they were surprised to see him alive.
And for the first time in his life, Jayce shivered when he met their gaze and the stories of his childhood came flooding back, along with a distant word made of sea spray and foam.
***
Jayce didn't sleep that night.
He leafed through his old storybooks, scoured the internet and occult forums until his bloodshot eyes burned with exhaustion and the sun broke over the horizon.
Nothing mattered more than this. Forgotten were his expulsion, the accident that had ruined his career, his failed suicide attempt: his mind was now obsessed with the same word, which he repeated over and over again.
Rationally, he knew it was impossible and that mythological creatures were exactly that: mythological... But all the rationality in the world was not enough to drive this idea from his mind. Perhaps it was due to the exhaustion that had built up over the last few weeks...
But perhaps his instincts were right.
Perhaps there really was something supernatural about this encounter.
Perhaps the legends of seals capable of taking human form by removing their skin were not just legends.
First thing the next morning, Jayce went to the island's only bed and breakfast and, pretending he needed to return a hat, asked the owner if she had welcomed a man who matched Viktor's description among her recent guests. Sinéad looked at him with wide eyes before shaking her head.
"Sorry, love. Doesn't ring a bell."
Jayce only managed to stop himself from fainting by clutching the counter until his knuckles turned white, earning him a concerned look from the landlady.
"Jayce, are you all right?
- Yes... Yes, I'm fine..."
His brain felt like it was buzzing with a rumbling hubbub drowning out everything else. Sounds were muffled, cottony, and even the icy wind on his face didn't seem as cold as usual as he walked through the small town.
He was a scientist, a rational mind. He couldn't believe these ridiculous legends! The man who had saved him was probably just a passing eccentric, some kind of delinquent who had taken advantage of the opportunity to take a midnight dip.
And yet...
What if?
Heart pounding and breath short, Jayce walked to the cliff, praying to the heavens that he hadn't missed his only chance and that Viktor – whether real or not – would keep his promise.
The scientist tried to remember once again if he had made a promise to the stranger, wondering if he had maybe sold his soul without even realising it.
He had willingly given him his name, which, in fairy tales, was generally not a good idea. If a Fae or other magical being was in possession of his name, it gave them power over him… Which was far from ideal.
Well done, Jayce.
As for the rest, he had simply promised not to walk so close to the edge of the cliff... And no fairy tale mentioned this kind of promise.
He had been met with no request for a firstborn child, no claim for any form of payment, thanks or pact...
Either Viktor was a very poor Fae negotiator…
Or he already had everything he needed with Jayce's name.
...
Either that, or he was truly human, in which case he could scrap all those theories.
Eyes swollen and red from a sleepless night, Jayce slapped his hands on his cheeks to try to shake himself awake.
I'm losing my mind...
It was simple: he was exhausted, pushed to his limits by weeks of intense stress, literally on the edge of the abyss... He had imagined this encounter, no doubt a manifestation of his survival instinct to avoid a fatal fall, and he had lost his coat afterwards. There was nothing supernatural about it. Nothing. Just further proof of the human mind's weakness when pushed beyond its limits.
But the knot in Jayce's stomach did not relax. Even that tiny voice of reason could not rid him of the terrifying and exhilarating feeling that he had experienced something extraordinary...
That and the icy touch of Viktor's fingers against his hand remained etched in his skin, more real than any other physical evidence of this encounter.
When Jayce finally reached the pebble beach, he slowed his pace slightly as he noticed the seals lazing lazily in the sun that was finally peeking out between two grey clouds. They barely noticed his presence, one or two looking up at him before lying down again, and he found himself watching them more closely. There were a few pups among the adults, some sleeping soundly and others chirping as they slid across the pebbles, much to the obvious exasperation of several seals, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
No amber eyes were watching him back.
Jayce shook his head and sighed, feeling rationality gaining ground in his mind.
Tomorrow, after a good night's sleep, he would see this encounter for what it really was: a mirage caused by his exhaustion and his depressive and suicidal episode, nothing more.
As he began his climb up the cliff, he was now certain that he would find no one at the top. No doubt he would find his coat, abandoned in the tall grass the night before... And perhaps he would find the motivation to return to work...
He was so convinced of this that when he noticed a frail figure with hair blowing in the wind, he froze, arms hanging limply at his sides and heart pounding.
Leaning on a makeshift stick, wrapped up in the long coat he had been given the day before, Viktor stood there, facing the calm sea.
Jayce only realised he had been holding his breath when he exhaled slowly, his eyes wide open, and he suddenly felt as if his legs had turned to stone... As if moving and breaking the spell – or the illusion – would be an unforgivable crime.
Time seemed to stand still, the world reduced to just this patch of land by the hill's edge, and his vision blurred as relief swelled in his chest.
He hadn't been dreaming. He wasn't losing his mind.
Someone had saved him yesterday, someone who believed in his project.
At that moment, Viktor turned slowly, and when he met Jayce's gaze, he smiled, almost tenderly.
"Hello, Jayce."
The scientist smiled a little tearfully, and his voice was hoarse when he took a step forward.
"You're here..."
Viktor raised an eyebrow. "I promised you.
- No, I mean... You're really here, you're..."
Real.
"I had to bring you your coat back, didn't I?
- It's not that, it's just..."
But the end of his sentence died on Jayce's lips when a cold shiver ran through his bones. Apart from his jacket, his saviour was wearing only that strange animal skin, this time tied around his waist to give him a modicum of privacy and modesty.
Following his gaze, Viktor looked down and a hint of redness spread across his cheeks, which Jayce found absolutely irresistible and adorable.
"Oh... Yes, my search has not been... successful."
And that simple sentence, that simple fact, was enough to bring down the fortresses of Jayce's rationality, replaced by boundless faith.
"Selkie..."
Viktor froze, lips parted, and he stared at Jayce with wide eyes.
For a second, only the howl of the wind echoed between them, and yet Viktor's whisper reached him as clearly as if he had been standing right next to him and had brushed his ear with his lips.
"I'm sorry?
- You're not human, are you?"
The man smiled, both amused and concerned. "Jayce, I don't know what you're playing at, but...
- You're a Selkie."
Viktor pursed his lips and swallowed hard, his face crossed with terror barely masked behind a tense smile. "You must be exhausted. You know these are just legends.
- Legends always have some truth to them. And I was taught to respect the island's legends and traditions."
Jayce took a step forward.
And Viktor backed away.
"Selkies can take human form by removing their sealskin," continued the scientist, "and if someone were to steal it, they would be trapped in that human form and would have to obey the person who holds their true skin. Like the one you keep on you."
Viktor was pale, and every step Jayce took pushed him back, trying to keep a reasonable distance between them. His amber eyes scanned his surroundings furiously, looking for a way to escape. His grip tightened on his makeshift stick as he answered in a hoarse voice.
"Jayce, it's not what you think.
- Am I wrong?"
Viktor hesitated for a few seconds before lowering his eyes, and his silence was worth a thousand words. Jayce felt a shock run through his entire body.
"Why did you save me?" He raised his hand when Viktor tried to answer. "Don't tell me it's because my life is worth saving or because you believe in my dream. I know that magical beings always have good reasons for their actions, and I... I need to know what you expect from me in return."
There was no anger or threat in his voice, and he kept his hands raised before freezing, as a sign of his good faith.
"Please, I just want to understand."
Viktor bit his lip, eyes still searching for a way out. But finally his gaze hardened and he sighed deeply, his right hand's knuckles turning white as he gripped his staff. He bent slightly, as if under the weight of an invisible mountain, and he lowered his arms with a defeated sigh.
"You don't owe me anything.
- Of course I do. Tell me what I need to do to thank you.
- I don't expect anything from you, I just wanted you to live.
- Why?"
Viktor looked up at him with a vulnerable yet furious expression, and his eyes clouded over, causing thunder to roll through his words.
"Because you're a good person. Because you sat on that beach without ever crossing our boundaries. Because watching us, drawing us and talking to us was enough to make you happy... And because you kept that stone with you all these years."
Jayce mechanically ran his thumb over his leather bracelet, and Viktor's gaze softened slightly.
"You intrigued me as much as we intrigued you. One day, you explained aloud how lonely you felt, how much you wanted a friend with whom you could share everything. So I left this stone for you to find, so I could watch over you... A token of my affection and protection if you ever went to sea."
Jayce felt as though his heart was beating so hard it would burst out of his chest.
"You were already here? You've been watching me all this time?"
He felt sick, as if he were about to faint.
He thought back to all those hours spent on the pebble beach, all those moments when he had convinced himself that the seals lying there were listening to him... He saw himself again, barely nine or ten years old, finding that beautiful blue stone near his observation post when he was at his lowest, drowning in loneliness... He could still hear the sound of his euphoric laughter echoing around him as he ran to show his mother his find...
"It's magic, Mamá! I'm sure of it! A Fae or a mermaid must be watching over us!"
Emotion caught in his throat, and this time it was Jayce who took a step back, his hand clenched around his wrist.
Misinterpreting his silence and his reaction, Viktor hastily added.
"I never meant you any harm. I just... I wanted to understand, to create some kind of connection with you. I already knew what it was like to suffer from loneliness at such a young age, I knew what it felt like to wait for someone to reach out to us. I wanted to help you, and this was the only way I could intervene without breaking our pact to stay away from humans."
Viktor looked both relieved and dejected, as if the weight of this revealed secret freed him as much as it chained him to the ground.
"I just wanted to help... Like I wanted to help you yesterday..."
Jayce's throat was tight, his legs were wobbly, and he felt as if oxygen was no longer reaching his brain or filling his lungs. The figure of the man in front of him was blurred by the wind and the tears of emotion that threatened to roll down his cheeks.
"I knew it," he whispered hoarsely, "I knew something was watching over us."
Viktor swallowed and closed himself off imperceptibly.
"I'm sorry I betrayed your trust, it was never my intention... But I realise my mistake now. I promise I won't interfere again." He lowered his eyes. "Can you just swear you won't tell anyone? Please."
Faced with Jayce's stunned silence, the Selkie raised his head and clutched the folds of the coat one last time before releasing his grip on the fabric. "I promise you'll never see me again."
Oh but this idea brought Jayce no comfort.
It was absolutely unbearable to him.
Not seeing Viktor again meant plunging back into the loneliness and despair that awaited him, ready to crush him once more in their cruel jaws. And even though he had only plunged into it once, Jayce knew that he could never do without his protector's eyes again, any more than he could live without his calm voice and quiet presence.
So, in two strides, Jayce closed the gap between them to clasp his saviour's hand in his own, eyes shining with emotion he struggled to contain.
"No! Please, don't go."
Viktor looked at their hands with wide eyes before smiling sadly.
"Everything will be fine, Jayce. Have faith in yourself and your dreams, and everything will work out."
Throat dry and brain working overtime, the scientist stammered in a tearful voice.
"But I... I still owe you a cup of tea."
Viktor's eyes widened, he seemed to light up and straighten up before slumping back down, his back hunched.
"I told you: you don't owe me anything.
- But I want to thank you properly. Please. Let me thank you. Let me show you my research, you said you were interested in it."
Jayce could clearly see the Selkie's Adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard.
"I can't...
- I promise I won't tell anyone. I'll take your secret to my grave. So don't leave me." Jayce's voice swelled with sobs, trembled in his throat, and a tear rolled down his cheek. "Please don't leave me."
Viktor parted his lips, glanced helplessly at the beach, so close and yet so inaccessible, then back at the sea... Before looking up at Jayce again, his face twisted with hesitation. Jayce squeezed the Selkie's icy hand a little tighter in his, terrified that his saviour would disappear if he let go. He clung to him as he had clung to that blue stone years ago, and he croaked.
"I beg you."
The wind blew between them, whipping the edges of Viktor's coat and his hair, but neither he nor Jayce flinched. Eye to eye, they remained silent and still for what seemed like an eternity.
And then, finally, the Selkie offered him a hint of a smile.
"I don't even know if I like tea."
Jayce let out a tearful sound between laughter and sobs.
"Then I'll make you try coffee, hot chocolate, and hot milk with honey. I'll prepare a cup of each so you can choose your favourite.
- My favourite cup?
- Your favourite drink, your favourite cup, anything you want. Everything I have will be yours if you agree to give me this chance."
Viktor clearly bit the inside of his cheek, took one last look at the beach and the sea...
Then he gently, almost shyly, squeezed Jayce's hand in his.
"All right..."
Blessing the Gods for living in an isolated cottage, Jayce guided Viktor home across the windswept plains, barely containing his euphoria and nervousness. Adjusting his pace to match the Selkie's, Jayce kept his hand clasped in his as he explained that he had left the island during his studies and only returned during school holidays, to the house his mother had given him when she had moved to the mainland. She had come back with him a week earlier to help him carry his belongings from the capital to here, to help him clean up, to do his shopping and to prepare meals for him while he wandered aimlessly on the beach, like a lost soul. But now, he was alone in the house and they wouldn't be interrupted during their talk.
They finally arrived at the cottage, and even though his politeness made him hesitate, Jayce decided to go in first, hoping to show Viktor that he was in no danger.
"I'm giving you the keys. The door will stay open, and you can leave whenever you want."
Looking the Selkie in the eye, Jayce slipped the keys into his coat pocket. Viktor nodded slowly, took a deep breath, then, bowing his head slightly, he stepped through the door and gently closed it behind him.
Face lit up with happiness and relief, Jayce gestured towards the hall with his free arm.
"Welcome."
Viktor's eyes widened and he followed him through the rooms, lips parted in astonished and admiring whispers. Noticing the fireplace and the still glowing logs, he pulled Jayce with him and leaned over the hearth.
"Did you make a fire?
- Last night when I got home. There's only embers left now, but I'll make one for you if you want."
Eyes filled with stars, the Selkie smiled dreamily. "The islanders sometimes light fires on the beach when spring arrives, but this will be the first time I've seen one so close."
He was about to add something, but he suddenly noticed the shelves filled with books. He let out a gasp, reaching the shelves and still leading Jayce after him as he marvelled in a low voice.
"There are so many...
- Wait until you see the study upstairs."
Viktor let out a small, breathy laugh. "I'm not surprised. You often took books to the beach before leaving the island."
He leaned his makeshift stick against the wall and ran his fingers over the books with a nostalgic look. Jayce felt a lump in his throat and he nodded.
"They were pretty much my only friends back then...
- I know, you spoke about them with great affection. I found it fascinating."
The scientist smiled faintly and picked up the book his saviour had been looking at for the last few seconds. He held it out to him.
"Take it. I told you everything I own is yours too, if you want it," he added with a smile.
Viktor stared at the book with wide eyes and he gently brushed the cover with his fingertips, as if afraid of damaging it.
"I can't accept it.
- Then think of this house as a consultation centre: my door will always be open to you, and you can come and read here whenever you want."
Wonder and emotion vied for attention in Viktor's amber eyes, and he finally gently took the book and held it close to his heart in silent agreement.
It was only then that Jayce realised that Viktor was still wearing only his coat and sealskin, and that as his host, he had a duty to find him some clothes. Reluctantly letting go of his hand, he invited him to sit down on the sofa. "I'll get you some clothes. Make yourself at home, I'll be right back."
He bounded up the stairs, ran into his bedroom and grabbed the first jumper he found in his wardrobe – and if chance would have it that he chose the Academy jumper with his surname written on the front... It was just that: chance! In any case, coincidence or not, it would definitely be much too big, so he would have to go out and buy one or two more suitable outfits for next time. Driven by a sudden flash of lucidity, Jayce knelt down next to his bed and retrieved a box of clothes he had worn as a teenager. He emptied the contents onto his sheets, rummaging through them in search of something that would be more suitable for Viktor's build, and finally picked out another pair of trousers, a T-shirt and a pair of briefs.
Jayce didn't have time to blush at the thought. Too terrified that the Selkie might have taken the opportunity to disappear, he rushed back downstairs, out of breath and his heart pounding...
But Viktor was still there, comfortably settled in the armchair and immersed in the book he was holding open on his lap. He looked up after a few seconds and Jayce stammered, at a loss for words. "Here... Let me lend you some more comfortable clothes.
- Do you really think they'll fit me?
- Not really. Well, maybe some will be bigger than others, but they'll still be more comfortable to wear than a raincoat and animal skin... No offence."
Viktor smiled gently before closing the book and slowly getting up. "I trust you."
He let the long coat slide over his shoulders, and as his hands found the sealskin at his hips, Jayce cried out in a strangled voice. "Wait!"
The Selkie looked up again, one eyebrow raised, and Jayce's voice trembled a little as he added. "I mean... Maybe wait until you're in the bathroom to... Well, you know what I mean."
Viktor tilted his head to one side.
"Not really, no.
- Well... So you can change in peace. I'm sure you could use some... privacy."
The Selkie blushed violently and he let his arms fall to his sides.
"Oh... Yes, of course. Sorry, I thought... Since some people undress when they come to swim, I thought...
- Well... Yes, some people do, but they're the exception," explained Jayce, staring at his feet. "Usually, we keep our swimsuits on.
- I see…"
Viktor picked up the coat and the book, took the bundle of clothes in his arms, and followed Jayce, clearly still embarrassed by his faux pas.
"I thought Humans only dressed to protect themselves from the cold, but you're more modest than I thought.
- Initially, that's the case. But it's also a matter of... decency."
As Jayce stopped in front of the downstairs toilet to save him from climbing the stairs, the Selkie let out a small, understanding "hm," quickly followed by an almost inaudible "sorry" that broke the scientist's heart.
"You have nothing to be sorry about, you already know so much. I can't believe you know what a sponsor is, for example.
- That's because you mentioned it when you came home a few days ago. I assumed they were people who could fund your research, a bit like patrons. But maybe I was wrong too.
- No, no, that's exactly right. That's very impressive!"
Viktor blushed with pride.
"I also listened to you recite theorems and lots of calculations when you came to study on the beach. I read the books you sometimes fell asleep on to try to understand. I practised a lot, I find science fascinating.
- Wait, you taught yourself physics and mathematics?"
The Selkie gave him an incredibly serious look, but there was a hint of teasing in his voice when he replied.
"Technically, you taught me physics and mathematics."
Jayce's eyes widened, unable to believe his luck... And without really understanding why, that simple sentence made him feel almost dizzy.
"W-well, that's one more reason to show you my work.
- I hope I have enough knowledge to understand it.
- I don't doubt it for a second." Then, he showed his guest to the toilet. "Take your time getting changed. I'll be in the kitchen, making us some tea.
- Alright... Thank you.
- No, thank you."
They exchanged a smile and Viktor closed the door behind him.
Jayce took a few steps back before slapping his cheeks. For a second, he thought he had fallen into a trap, that it was some kind of prank and that Viktor was an actor paid to find out as much as possible about his life to see how long he could drive him crazy...
No one could be that... perfect, like something out of his wildest dreams.
They couldn't complement each other so naturally.
Except that there's nothing natural about it, he reminded himself, it's magic. You're living in a fairy tale now.
An almost supernatural shiver shook him from head to toe, and he walked decisively towards the kitchen. He was going to keep his promise and make tea, coffee, hot milk and hot chocolate so that Viktor could choose his favourite drink. Perhaps he should also serve him a glass of water, just to be on the safe side? Yes, that sounded like a good idea.
Jayce rolled up his sleeves and turned on the coffee machine and kettle in one fluid motion, before taking the last bottle of milk from his fridge and pouring a generous amount into a small saucepan, which he put on to heat. To pass the time, he also kept his promise and went to stoke the fire in the living room hearth. When he stood still and put his fists on his hips as he let the various drinks heat up, he realised that his body was still shaking uncontrollably.
He absolutely had to distract himself, to drown his anticipation and excitement in action to silence the flood of thoughts swirling in his mind that were beginning to suffocate him. This was why he had taken refuge in magic and legends, then in science: opening these books and immersing himself in a fascinating distraction helped him to block out the rest of the world, to silence the rising anxiety in his chest.
Selkies really do exist... And one of them has been watching over me all this time...
Of course, Jayce had every reason in the world to let panic and nervousness take hold of him: first, because his life had been destroyed a few weeks earlier; second, because he had tried to take his own life; and finally, because the Selkie who had been watching him all his life without him noticing was now in his house... Getting dressed.
Putting on his clothes.
Jayce felt another kind of shiver run down his spine, not only from the euphoria of this discovery, but also from the idea that Viktor would soon appear wearing the jumper bearing his favourite colours and his name.
One would have had to be completely blind not to notice Viktor's almost diaphanous beauty, so much so that even under other circumstances, Jayce's gaze would most certainly have been drawn to his figure, his face and his eyes... But there was also this connection, this bond they had shared for almost a decade without him even being aware of it... And the fact that this Selkie protector knew him better than anyone else and had learned science thanks to him awakened an unwavering emotion in his heart, making butterflies flutter in his chest.
Jayce nervously rubbed his palms on his jeans, clenched his fists and then unclenched them, and rather than standing still and waiting, he decided to go back upstairs to fetch some notes on his research from his study, as well as a crutch that had been gathering dust for over ten years in a corner of the room, ever since he had twisted his ankle running on the pebbles.
As Jayce went back downstairs, he placed his notes on the table, propped the crutch against a chair, then began to pour the four drinks into coloured cups – he poured the milk first, then added cocoa powder to the saucepan and stirred for a few seconds to make a more than decent hot chocolate.
The scientist poured himself a cup of coffee, prepared the milk and sugar... Then he sat down, hands clasped on the table, and although he was no longer shaking, his right leg twitched nervously under the tablecloth until he heard the toilet door open.
He immediately jumped to his feet. "What do you think? Are the clothes too b-..."
But he was left speechless, his voice trailing off.
With his hair tousled and his cheeks flushed with pride but also embarrassment, Viktor hobbled over to the table, gently pulling at the bottom of the sweatshirt.
"I do believe this one is too big, but it's very comfortable. It's almost miraculous that you happened to have a pair of trousers and briefs that are almost my size."
He looked up with a smile, but when he saw the stunned look on Jayce's face, he froze.
"Don't tell me I've put it on backwards.
- No..." Jayce's voice was hoarse, caught in his throat. "No, it's... perfect..."
The Selkie let out a small sigh of relief and he smiled again, hugging the coat, the book and his sealskin close to his chest before burying his chin in the collar of the sweatshirt.
When he had picked that outfit, Jayce already knew that the effect this combination would have on him would be formidable, but he hadn't prepared himself to be so affected. The red fabric brought out the warm brown of Viktor's hair, the amber of his eyes reminiscent of the golden threads that embroidered Jayce's surname on the sweatshirt...
Jayce felt a furious heat take hold of his body, and the image of Viktor wearing a jumper with "Talis" written on it was forever etched in his mind.
As if I had lent my boyfriend an item of clothing...
"Jayce?
- No! Um... I mean, yes?"
He prayed to all the gods and spirits in the world that the redness in his cheeks wouldn't be too obvious, and for a second, he feared that Selkies were also telepathic. But – thank goodness – Viktor didn't seem to mind his answer, and he pointed to the crutch with his free hand.
"That's what you used when you hurt your ankle, right?
- Yes, I thought it might be your size. It'll be more comfortable and you'll be able to walk more easily with less risk of injury."
Jayce briefly showed him how to use it, and Viktor awkwardly wedged his forearm against the handle of the crutch. He leaned on it gently, testing its strength, and nodded, looking completely delighted and amazed.
"It'll definitely come in handy. It's much better than a stick." Then, noticing the five steaming cups on the table, he frowned. "Are you expecting company?
"No, I... I just made you a cup of each drink... So you can taste them and choose your favourite."
The Selkie's face seemed to light up, and he let Jayce pull out his chair to help him sit down while he placed his coat on the seat next to him and the sealskin and book on his lap.
"You shouldn't have, I could have had the same drink as you.
- Don't be so sure: I drink my coffee black, and that's not to everyone's taste. You can also add milk and sugar if you like."
Viktor looked at the different cups and first set his sights on the coffee, as if to prove to Jayce that he could drink the same thing as him without any problem. But from the first sip, an uncontrollable grimace distorted his features, and the scientist burst out laughing.
"I warned you.
- I know, but I wanted to try. That's what scientists do, isn't it? They come up with hypotheses and then conduct experiments to prove or disprove them."
Unable to disagree, Jayce nodded. "Here, try it with some sugar and some milk. It'll make the experiment better.
- As long as it makes this cup of petrol better..."
Armed with a teaspoon, Viktor stirred the liquid until it took on a milder hue, almost similar to hot chocolate, and this time, the second sip made him blink. With his chin resting in his palm, Jayce smiled.
"Well?
- It's better. Still a little bitter, but better.
- You can add some sugar if you-..."
Under the astonished gaze of his host, Viktor immediately added three more spoons of sugar to his cup before trying a new sip. And this time, he let out a small sigh of contentment, almost a kind of purr.
"Now I understand the appeal."
With an amused smile on his lips, Jayce gently pushed the cup of tea towards him.
"Then I think you'll want to add a few more sugar cubes to this one too..."
Driven by curiosity, Viktor began by tasting the tea as it was... only to grimace immediately and add four spoons of sugar. "It's bitter, but not the same kind of bitter.
- It's cinnamon tea, the sweetest I have."
The Selkie clicked his tongue against his palate, as if savouring the nuances, and nodded.
"I like it.
- With four spoons of sugar.
- With four spoons of sugar. But I think I prefer coffee.
- Oh, you mean milk with sugar and a hint of coffee flavour?"
Viktor returned his mocking smile and took another sip from the first cup. "You should thank me: I've improved this drink to a higher level of quality.
- And humble on top of everything else.
- I'm simply stating facts.
- In that case, I'd better add honey to the milk to prevent you from fainting."
Putting his words into action, he added two spoonfuls of golden honey to the cup, a colour reminiscent of Viktor's eyes, which followed his every move. Jayce searched his memory, trying to remember what his mother used to add to his hot milk when he was a child, and for a moment, he cursed himself for not having any anise in his cupboards. But the Selkie had already dipped his lips into the white liquid...
His eyes widened in wonder, and a milk moustache adorned his upper lip as he sat up and declared firmly.
"This. This is my favourite."
Jayce burst out laughing. "You haven't even tasted the hot chocolate.
- No need, I already know this is the superior drink.
- What about your scientific mind?"
Viktor rolled his eyes at him in mock exasperation before automatically slipping four spoons of sugar into the last cup and taking a sip. He raised an eyebrow, clearly pleasantly surprised, then shook his head and turned his attention back to the hot milk.
"It's very good, I'll give you that, but I prefer this one.
- Duly noted." Then, after a brief silence filled with hesitation, he couldn't resist the temptation to lean forward. "Wait, you've got a bit of foam... Right here."
He gently raised his hand and, with a light movement of his thumb, brushed the top of Viktor's lip. Jayce felt as if his frantic heartbeat was echoing throughout the house, making the whole island vibrate, and yet he was unable to stop, unable to pull back and apologise.
On the contrary, driven by staggering audacity and the burning voice that hissed in his mind, he looked at his thumb as if he were seeing it for the first time...
Before bringing it to his own lips.
Jayce knew it was impossible, that with only the equivalent of a drop he should have been unable to taste anything, and yet he felt as if he were savouring the most delicious nectar that had ever touched his tongue. As if he were drinking ambrosia straight from the source. He tasted honey mingling with milk, and he even thought he recognised a slightly salty aftertaste, like the one the sea breeze left on his lips after a walk along the coast...
He clearly saw Viktor's eyes widen before he looked away, but even that movement did not hide the blush that briefly covered his cheeks...
And it was only then that Jayce realised what he had just done.
"Sorry, I..." He searched for words, stammering. "I couldn't help myself.
- It's okay. I'm glad you stopped me from making a fool of myself.
- You could never look like a fool."
The words had slipped out before he even had time to think about stopping them, but rather than taking offence, Viktor laughed softly.
"You're seriously mistaken.
- I don't believe that for a second.
- That you could be wrong? Good gods, I thought you were more humble than that.
- No, I mean that I can't believe that you could ever look like a fool."
They exchanged a knowing smile, both knowing and embarrassed, and the Selkie's features softened. "Thank you, Jayce.
- You're welcome. I knew it would be best to prepare different drinks so you could choose...
- No, I meant: thank you for everything. Thank you for not being afraid, for listening to me and believing me, for welcoming me into your home and paying attention to my tastes... And thank you for lending me clothes and something to help me walk more easily," he said with a smile.
Jayce struggled to find the right words to answer this gratitude that he felt he did not deserve. His vision blurred for a moment and suppressed sobs rose in his throat when Viktor whispered.
"Jayce?
- I'm the one who should be thanking you," he finally replied in a hoarse voice. He wiped away his tears with his free hand. "Thank you for watching over me all this time, for stopping me from jumping yesterday and... Thank you for not leaving. I think... I think that even though I've always felt a little isolated, I've never felt so alone in my whole life... And you came when I wasn't expecting anyone anymore. I can't thank you enough."
Jayce stumbled over his words, uttered choked syllables, and an uncontrollable sob escaped him when, suddenly, the full horror of his situation caught up with him, hitting him with full force.
When he had stood on that cliff the day before, he had been determined, certain, and now that he thought about it, his whole body began to shake. Reality took hold of him, the voices of the academic council members deafened him, the sight of his empty laboratory overwhelmed him...
It's over, your life is over... And you didn't even have the courage to see it through to the end.
Anxiety overwhelmed him, suddenly crushing him under a monumental tidal wave.
He couldn't breathe.
He couldn't br-...
Viktor gently placed a hand on his, and when Jayce met his gaze, he clung to it, preferring to sink into the amber of his eyes rather than into the darkness that rumbled in his chest and skull.
"Sorry," he gasped with a strangled laugh, "I don't know what's come over me."
However, contrary to his fear of scaring him away with his tears, Viktor didn't move. He didn't pull away and didn't call him too emotional or fragile. He simply squeezed Jayce's fingers and nodded.
"That's a normal reaction. You've been through a lot in a very short time.
- Still, I'm past the age of crying over nothing.
- It wasn't nothing, Jayce. Quite the contrary, actually. And there's no age limit on crying when you feel the need to." He smiled slightly. "I'm glad you trust me enough to dare to cry in my presence."
Viktor punctuated his sentence with another squeeze of his fingers, further proof of his support, and the scientist felt new tears roll down his cheeks as he returned his embrace.
All was not lost.
Not quite.
There was still one person who believed in him, a being of legend and magic who had learned science from his own books and who had left him an engraved stone as a token of his friendship.
Jayce held the Selkie's gaze and tried to smile.
"Thank you...
- You're welcome. I'm glad I could help."
Viktor respected his silence, waiting patiently for his sobs to subside, never letting go of his hand. And when Jayce nodded to him that the worst was over, the Selkie pointed to the pile of papers.
"Is this your research?
- Yes, it's... It's part of my work. Would you like me to read it to you?"
Viktor shook his head gently. "No need. Our elders teach us to read and speak your language so that we can understand our environment a little, in case we have to take refuge on dry land."
Jayce spread the documents out on the table – taking care to move the half-empty cups out of the way – and explained.
"It was my dissertation project, and I developed it into a thesis during my PhD. I did all the calculations, carried out several tests, but no matter how hard I try, I can't find a way to stabilise this energy source."
Viktor leaned forward and his hand reluctantly let go of Jayce's to brush against the pages.
As his eyes scanned the endless lines of calculations, his eyebrows gradually furrowed, and Jayce watched him without saying a word, his heart pounding again at the thought of a magical being reading his work... And at the thought of being judged by the last person who still believed in him.
"Feel free to ask me to explain anything if you want, it might be a little unclear.
- No, on the contrary, I find it very clear."
Viktor gently bit his lower lip, a clearly unconscious movement, before pointing to an equation. "This part is about the tool that's supposed to stabilise and channel the energy, right?"
A little surprised by his speed of reading and his ability to understand, Jayce took a good two seconds to answer him.
"Exactly. I want to use the stones to make conductors, sort of like batteries and portable energy sources that could be scaled up to power larger mechanisms, but I can't stabilise them. I've tried everything: gradually increasing the magnetic field, decreasing it, keeping it constant... Nothing works."
Viktor nodded. "The result is always the same?
- Not always... But the last experiment ended with a bigger explosion than I had imagined.
- And yet you had kept an energy source that should have had the effect of a small firework at best, not a bomb.
- Exactly. The more I worked on these stones, the more I realised how unstable and unpredictable they were." Jayce lifted a few sheets of paper and finally found a page covered with diagrams. "I initially thought that the mass was related to the amount of energy supplied, but I discovered that even the smallest stone can power an entire city with electricity.
- But trusting an unstable power source to power a city would be quite dangerous," concluded Viktor, "hence why your mentors deemed it more prudent not to use your work, even to power a device no larger than a coffee machine.
- Exactly." Jayce ran a weary hand over his face. "If I could find a way to stabilise this energy, if I could find a way to make it harmless and safe, then maybe my research would have a chance.
- And you could develop a non-polluting energy source for the whole world.
- That would be the plan, yes."
Viktor didn't answer, didn't ask any more questions. He just read all the pages in silence, and when he finished, he didn't say a word. He just took another sip of hot milk. Consumed by impatience and worry, Jayce waited exactly twenty-six seconds before asking in a trembling voice that he hated.
"Well? (Then, immediately regretting his question, he hastened to stammer.) It's hopeless, I know. I know I've been stubborn and should have given up years ago, so I could have avoided the scandal and prevented a student from being hurt because of me. I know I should have stopped, but I was incapable of doing so, and that's one of my faults. I don't know how to stop when I'm convinced that the solution is within reach, and because of me and my stubbornness, people have been hurt and...
- Jayce."
Viktor's hand found his again, still strangely cold, and the end of his monologue choked in his throat. The Selkie was incredibly calm and Jayce was met with such a composed tranquillity that contrasted so sharply with his sudden panic that he immediately felt reassured, like a terrified child who would calm down upon seeing how much control a grown-up had over the situation.
If Viktor wasn't scared, he had no reason to be either.
"I think you're almost there, and you were right to persevere. I just think you need to change your perspective. Take a step back." The Selkie's gaze scanned the table. "Do you have anything to write with?
- I have pens upstairs, and a blackboard and chalk."
Viktor's face lit up. "Show me?"
Jayce guided him to his desk, the documents hastily gathered in his arms, and he helped Viktor up the stairs. He was still clutching the coat, the book and his sealskin to his chest, and Jayce couldn't help offering his help.
"Do you want me to carry something?"
But as he reached out a hand, Viktor took a step back, almost falling backwards.
Jayce acted instinctively, without thinking. His free hand closed around the Selkie's arm and he pulled him forward until he was safely pressed against him.
He felt Viktor's heart beating wildly against his own, and they stood frozen, staring into each other's eyes for what seemed like an eternity, before he stepped back more cautiously onto the step.
"Sorry.
- Sorry..."
They smiled slightly and Jayce cleared his throat.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to-...
- No, it's me," the Selkie replied in a voice so low that he could barely hear it, "I was just surprised."
Thinking back to the legends that had kept him awake, Jayce couldn't help but add, "I suppose it must be taboo to let anyone touch your skin."
Viktor nodded slowly and kept his eyes down for a few seconds before looking up at him.
"We're taught to protect it and take it everywhere with us, not to leave it unattended. I'm sorry, it's not against you, it's just...
- No, I understand: old habits die hard," Jayce reassured him with a smile that was meant to be reassuring. "I know, I have some that I'm struggling to get rid of. But I respect that, I won't touch your skin again.
- Thank you."
Clearly relieved that they hadn't offended each other, they resumed their climb... And Jayce placed his free hand on the Selkie's back, just between his shoulder blades, so he could intervene more quickly if necessary... And for no other reason, especially not to feel his heart beating under his palm again.
Once they arrived at his office, Jayce placed his papers on his desk and invited Viktor to do the same with his belongings. The Selkie obeyed, placing everything on an armchair with distracted gestures but still making sure his sealskin stayed in plain view. He observed the room from every angle, and when he saw the prototype just in front of the blackboard covering the wall, his eyes lit up.
"May I?
- Of course. I told you: everything I have is yours too."
With a delighted smile, Viktor approached the mechanism. He leaned over it, examined it from every possible angle, then, with great delicacy, he touched the machine.
"Do you have the blueprint with you?"
Jayce handed it to him immediately, without a moment's hesitation, and when Viktor moved closer to the board, his crutch tapping rhythmically on the floor, the scientist slipped a piece of chalk between his fingers, not daring to say a word for fear of distracting him from his train of thought.
The Selkie stared at the chalk for a long second, testing its texture between his fingers before sketching a tiny grimace that he quickly suppressed, but which Jayce couldn't help finding hilarious.
"I know, the feeling is awful, you never really get used to it.
- I would have said 'unpleasant', but I understand your disgust."
Viktor tightened his grip on the chalk, scanned the page of calculations for a few moments, then began to write.
At first, he didn't press hard enough and barely a line appeared. Then he pressed too hard and the high-pitched sound made their teeth grind, but it also caused him to jump back, so that his back met Jayce's chest as he struggled to contain his amusement.
"Wait, let me help you," Jayce said, gently taking his hand.
He clearly saw a crimson blush cover Viktor's ears and cheeks, noticed the same colour on the back of his neck through long brown strands with light tips, and had to struggle to redirect his attention to the blackboard. Gently guiding the Selkie's hand, he wrote the beginning of the equation with him, helping him find the right pressure. After writing a few numbers, he let go gently, almost regretfully.
Viktor thanked him with a brief nod and continued the calculation without a word, leaning on his crutch, eyes downcast on the blueprint Jayce was still holding in front of him. But very quickly, he stopped looking at it. In fact, he detached himself from it completely and covered the table of figures without his hand trembling for a second.
Intrigued, Jayce moved back slightly to give Viktor some room before sitting down on his desk. He kept his arms crossed for only two seconds before his right thumb came to rest on his chin and his index finger pressed against his lips. Jayce started the calculation again from the beginning, at first almost without having to think about it – after all, he had been working on this equation for years, he could have recited it from memory – then, little by little, his eyebrows furrowed and he leaned forward imperceptibly.
The reasoning was... peculiar.
Correct, of course, but definitely unusual, though not in a negative sense. Viktor's method was original, unlike anything he had ever seen before, yet it clearly drew on the most commonly used theorems in physics. But rather than following traditional paths and reasoning, he took a completely innovative approach, as if he were blazing a trail through the tall grass of a wild and unexplored area of science.
Every time Jayce's brain, honed by habit and years of practice, automatically completed an equation, he found himself forced to stop his reasoning, surprised by what Viktor was proposing. And that stunned him even more than the fact that every result was correct.
Breathless, he remained silent even when the Selkie circled his final answer and turned to him, looking strangely neutral. He didn't seem worried, just... cautious... but also satisfied.
"Well?"
Absorbed in his thoughts, Jayce could only let out a distracted "hm?", struggling to tear his gaze away from the board. Viktor held his breath and shifted his weight to his left leg, either a sign of discomfort or a simple reflex.
"What do you think?"
The scientist stood up slowly, still scanning the equations as if they could rewrite years of study and reprogram his brain. And when he finally reached the result, he was speechless.
"Brilliant..."
Viktor blinked, and Jayce repeated. "It's brilliant, absolutely brilliant. You are..."
His face lit up and his limbs filled with a new energy that made him almost vibrate on the spot. He turned to the Selkie and placed his hands on his shoulders.
"You're incredible, Viktor!"
His saviour blushed with pride but he lowered his gaze slightly, veiling the gold of his eyes behind a blink of his lashes as if dazzled by the intensity in Jayce's.
"You're overreacting.
- No, I mean it! It's revolutionary! I've never seen equations like these and such calculations! How did you come up with this reasoning? Did you invent it from scratch?"
Viktor smiled and shrugged. "I told you: you taught me everything. All I did was study and expand on that knowledge."
Pride and emotion swelled in Jayce's heart, almost making him puff out his chest, but then he felt something else pulsing through his veins.
He knew this feeling; it was the inevitable excitement of a fundamental discovery, the moment of feverish delight that drowned him when he began to understand a theory and worked through pages and pages of exercises just for the pleasure of feeling the dopamine rush through his brain.
Except this time, the scientific excitement was mixed with something else, a sensation that made his hands and legs shake...
Jayce shook himself mentally, trying to banish these tingles from his mind so he could focus on the essentials.
"You couldn't have learned that from me: it's different from anything I learned at the Academy and..."
The end of his sentence died softly on his lips, like the tide slowly but inevitably receding from the beach, and he read the answer to his question in Viktor's calm eyes.
Before leaving the island for his studies, even when he was thinking about calculations, each more complicated than the last, his creativity dominated everything else, leaving him free to solve problems using reasoning different from that put forward in books or in his classes.
For a while, science had been a game.
But as he grew up, he had stifled part of his creativity. He hadn't done it unconsciously, on the contrary, he had curbed his free spirit himself once he had realised that it would cause him more problems than successes.
Jayce still remembered the day when a particularly bitter maths teacher had handed him his exam paper, crossed out with a red line and marked with a zero. Devastated, Jayce had held his paper with a trembling hand, unable to understand how he could have made such a mistake... And when, through his tears, he had recalculated the results of the equations, his breath had caught in his throat.
He hadn't made any mistake.
But the teacher had added a comment to his zero.
"This is not the theorem we saw in class."
Injustice and shame had knotted his heart and stomach, and he hadn't been able to eat anything until the next morning.
Afterwards, it took Jayce a little too long to understand the reason for his failure. Both in mathematics and in science, he continued for several weeks to solve problems using the creative reasoning that had accompanied his childhood. After all, why should he have been content to follow the theories put forward by his teachers? Since the result was the same, why should he have prevented himself from following another, more efficient and logical path?
His teacher had noted in his report card that he was stubborn, obstinate, narrow-minded, that he did not respect rules or instructions, and for the first and only time in his academic career, Jayce had come close to failing one of his favourite subjects...
All because, even though he got the right answers, he had followed his own logic rather than that of the teacher.
Jayce's mother had made him promise to behave, listen to instructions, and not get into any more trouble. And despite the lump of injustice that had swelled and swelled and swelled in his throat, Jayce had promised, holding back his tears. He had bowed his head, had followed the instructions and the predefined paths of science, and he had become bogged down in it without even realising it, simply consoling himself with the sense of belonging that this sacrifice of his morals had brought him.
It was this freedom that he now found in Viktor's calculations, this creativity and this possibility of using new and original theories to achieve his goal. That was why they felt like a breath of fresh air to him and made him feel both nostalgia and relief...
It was the hand extended to him by the creative child he had once been.
Jayce took a slight breath, and his grip on Viktor's shoulders did not weaken as he lowered his head and let out a small, somewhat sad laugh. The Selkie raised his chalk-white hand and placed it on his arm in a silent question.
"It's fine, it's just that…" The scientist looked up, gazed into Viktor's question-filled eyes, and sighed. "You keep saving me.
- I'm just doing my best to help you.
- I assure you, you're doing so much more than that."
Jayce's hands left his frail shoulders, slid down his arms to encircle his hands, even the one that was firmly holding the crutch.
"You saved me when I thought I was alone, you saved me yesterday on that cliff, and you're saving me by reminding me of what's really important.
- And what is really important to you, Jayce?"
An answer touched his lips, an answer he politely kept to himself because he had already been criticised for the intensity and speed of his emotions. Even as a child, when he became attached to someone or something, he did so instantly and with unwavering devotion. According to his mother, this had caused him some minor problems at nursery school before they had moved to the island: he had clung to a toy and had screamed when another child had asked if he could play with it too. Even more troublesome, he had become attached to a classmate and burst into tears, clinging to his arm when other children asked his best friend to join them.
So this trait also applied to individuals, to people he loved too quickly and too strongly: love at first glance, love at first breath. Almost all of his romantic partners had said the same thing to him before ending their relationship: "I feel suffocated."
So, even though he knew that his admiration and attachment to Viktor continued to skyrocket with each passing second, Jayce swallowed his initial response and simply smiled.
"Having fun. Looking for a creative solution. And working with a brilliant partner."
The Selkie smiled back and slipped a second piece of chalk into Jayce's hand before pointing to the blackboard with his chin.
"Then maybe you'd better join me, partner. The more the merrier, right?"
Jayce laughed softly and they turned their attention to the equations, thinking aloud about the possibilities open to them... And the scientist was then certain that the answer to his problems lay there, off the beaten track, on the path that Viktor had just cleared for him.
They worked all day, stopping only at noon to eat some sandwiches that Jayce prepared for them. And when night fell and they finished their supper – namely, frozen leftovers that his mother had left him before she left, which made Viktor's eyes light up as he picked at his plate – Jayce dared to suggest that his saviour spend the night there.
"You could have my room and I'll sleep on the sofa."
The Selkie shifted slightly to glance towards the living room, and he frowned.
"You must be really exhausted if you think for a second that you'll get a good night's sleep lying on that for eight hours.
- And you're very optimistic if you think I sleep eight hours a night.
- Is that not what's recommended for an adult Human, though?
- It is, but unfortunately, you'll find there's a big difference between theory and facts. Case in point."
Viktor clicked his tongue against his palate, and even though his tone did contain some reproach, a smile appeared on his lips.
"In that case, we need to fix that.
- I can try, but I'm not in charge when it comes to sleep. You'll have to talk to my insomnia.
- I shall let her know that I need you to sleep so you can then stay awake tomorrow during our equations.
- I promise you I won't fall asleep while we are working, it's far too exciting."
The Selkie smiled a little more openly, clearly amused by his partner's enthusiasm.
"Regardless, there's no way you're sleeping anywhere other than your own bed. I have to go home anyway."
Jayce immediately felt his stomach twist with anxiety, and he could distinctly feel his blood run cold at the thought of being left alone again. But as he prepared to beg once more, Viktor, as if sensing his distress, placed a hand on his, the one that was nervously scratching the blue stone on his wrist.
"I can come back tomorrow, if you like. But I have to go home for tonight."
The Selkie turned towards the window and his eyes lit up briefly, so fleetingly that the scientist thought his mind was playing tricks on him. "I can't stay away from her for too long."
Alarmed, Jayce stiffened, and the knot of anxiety rose to his throat as he croaked. "Her?"
Viktor turned back to him with a peaceful smile. "The sea."
Relief washed over Jayce and he had to lean back against the chair to keep from collapsing.
- Oh... Yes, of course. But you... Will you come back tomorrow, then?
- I'll be there at dawn. That is, if you want me to come, of course.
- I do," Jayce replied immediately, squeezing his hand like a sailor desperately clinging to a rope to save him from drowning.
Viktor smiled before slowly getting up. Jayce's anxiety grew with every step he took as he escorted the Selkie to the door, and once again, he had a mad urge to fall to his knees and beg him to stay with him. Even the idea of being alone for the night made his head spin, knocked the wind out of his lungs. And when Viktor slipped on the coat, which was far too long and wide for his shoulders, and when he reached for the handle, Jayce stopped him with a strangled voice and a hand on the door.
"Let me walk you to the beach."
The Selkie turned slowly, eyebrows raised. "You'll catch a cold if you go out in this weather.
- I have other coats," Jayce argued. "I don't want you to fall or hurt yourself. I'll feel better if I walk you there. That way, we can hide your clothes and crutch in a place only we know about, and you can easily find them again tomorrow morning."
The rain grew heavier, beating out the rhythm of his anxiety on the windowpanes while Viktor seemed to weigh the pros and cons.
"Jayce, I think you should...
- If it's taboo, I won't watch you shape-shift," he added hastily, "I just want to make sure you get back to the beach safely.
- No, I think you should put on better shoes if you want to walk me there."
Jayce looked down, remembering that he had put on slippers earlier that day, and when he looked up again, Viktor was struggling to contain his smile.
"I'll wait until you're properly dressed."
A small laugh shook the scientist's shoulders, a slightly strangled sound that he hated, but he didn't dwell on it. He put on his boots, then rummaged through his belongings and found an old pair of boots – too big, of course – that he handed to his partner. Then he put on the worn raincoat that had belonged to his father and pulled the hood over his head before doing the same for Viktor.
"Ready."
The Selkie nodded, returned Jayce's keys, and, still clutching his sealskin to his heart, went outside, leaning on his crutch and on his partner's arm.
They walked in silence, braving the storm without faltering, and despite the uneven ground, Viktor did not stumble. The howling wind did not drown out the roar of the sea for long, and while his feet seemed to grow heavier with each step, Jayce could distinctly feel his partner's footsteps lighten with every step that brought them closer to the beach.
When their feet cautiously trod on the pebbles (which must have been a veritable minefield for Viktor's right leg), he first noticed that no seals were waiting for them. The Selkie pointed to a small recess in the dunes that would allow them to keep their clothes dry and to hide them. Despite the pouring rain, Viktor slid his hood back, exposing his face to the spray that immediately soaked his hair. While Jayce stood guard, he removed each item of clothing, folding them carefully before slipping them into their hiding place along with his crutch. When he was done, he softly called the scientist's name, who slowly turned around.
Viktor was once again wrapped in the sealskin draped over his shoulders, and he had pulled the edges down to hide his nakedness, no doubt solely to avoid further disturbing his partner. Still, Jayce felt himself blushing, and a sense of disappointment added to his anxiety, like regrets that died away when the Selkie took a cautious step closer.
"Will you walk me to the water?"
With a lump in his throat, Jayce nodded and took Viktor's hand.
The pebbles crunched under his boots, and he felt his grip on his saviour's hand slip because of the water that wet his skin. He walked until his feet met more sand than pebbles, and he heard Viktor let out a distinct, delighted sigh when a small wave lapped at his bare feet. There, they stopped, and the Selkie turned around to face him.
"I know I can't ask you to promise me, but I hope my real form won't scare you.
- You don't have to worry, I've always found seals adorable."
The brief "hm" that escaped Viktor was almost swallowed by the wind, and when Jayce saw the concern in his eyes, he asked softly.
"Will you be here tomorrow morning?
- I'll be there at dawn.
- Do you promise?
- I promise."
Viktor raised his free hand and tried to adjust his partner's hood over his face, but Jayce gently circled his wrist and brought Viktor's knuckles to his lips, brushing them in a semblance of a kiss.
"I'll wait for you here."
The Selkie blushed furiously and answered him with a silent nod.
Reluctantly, Jayce let go of Viktor's hand, and he took only one step into the water before Viktor stepped forward into the waves. It was as if the sea was opening its arms to him, welcoming him with a sigh of contentment as he cut through the waves without faltering. When the dark water reached his waist, Viktor turned around and offered Jayce a slightly nervous smile...
He bent down so that the animal skin enveloped him completely, and a wave washed over his back, seeming to swallow him and the brief blue glow that suddenly burst from his body.
Jayce raised a hand to shield his eyes, but the light disappeared as quickly as it had appeared... And there, in the water, a grey seal surfaced, pointing two curious amber eyes at him.
Stunned voiceless, Jayce took an unconscious step forward, his lips parted in a whispered name.
"Viktor?"
He clearly saw a light cross the seal's eyes as it blinked before snorting and blowing some air towards him, like a kind of greeting, before disappearing into the waves.
At first, Jayce stood completely still, stunned, almost expecting to see Viktor's face reappear and laugh at his naivety, but when he realised he was alone on the beach, Jayce burst out laughing.
He wasn't crazy.
Selkies really did exist.
And one of them had agreed to be his research partner.
Jayce didn't sleep that night either. He tried, he really did, but he was unable to close his eyes. So when dawn broke, he was already a few metres from the sea, his heart pounding.
At first, he saw nothing, not even a shadow, and his world collapsed when he thought Viktor had abandoned him. But just as his knees threatened to give way beneath him, he finally spotted a figure in the dunes and held his breath.
Leaning on his crutch, his hair still damp and clutching his sealskin coat, Viktor waved shyly at him. In a few strides, Jayce had reached him, and he noticed the Selkie almost seemed surprised to see him.
"You came.
- Of course I did, V. Why wouldn't I come?
- I thought you might be... frightened by my true form. That seeing me change would remind you that I am...
- Beautiful?"
Viktor rolled his eyes at him in mock exasperation, but he couldn't hide the slight blush on his cheeks and the smile that stretched across his lips.
"Different.
- I stand by my choice of words. You are incredible, and your true form is as splendid as your human form.
- I'm starting to think you're trying to charm me, Mr. Talis.
- Perhaps I am.
- Ah, hence the flattery.
- Can't a man compliment his partner anymore?
- Not if it distracts him from his work."
Jayce raised a hand to his heart. "I promise I'll stay focused. And that I won't distract you."
Amused, Viktor let out a doubtful "hm," and he didn't hesitate when the scientist held out his arm.
"I take it you're ready for another day of work, partner?
- Always. And your cup of sweetmilk is almost ready.
- Wonderful. I've been thinking and I have a few suggestions for you regarding the last part of the equation."
Arm in arm, they returned to the house, and Jayce let the Selkie's voice and presence chase away his fear.
He was no longer alone.
He would never be alone again.
***
They worked tirelessly for a whole week.
At dawn, Jayce would walk to the bakery to buy pastries. Then he would go to the beach and wait for Viktor to shape-shift to his human form so he could walk him home – to their home.
They would start the day with breakfast accompanied by a cup of coffee – and, in the Selkie's case, more often than not a cup of sweetmilk – and they would talk about every conceivable topic, from science to magic. They would then spend the entire morning working in the office, covering the blackboard with equations and the walls with pages of calculations and blueprints.
When they weren't so engrossed in their work that they forgot to eat, they would have sandwiches for lunch, a simple meal that they would eat while working.
In the afternoon, they either armed themselves with patience and coffee to keep working, or they allowed themselves a short nap on the living room's sofa. Although he had always been a workaholic, Jayce had to admit that he always prayed that Viktor would agree to doze off beside him, until his head rolled onto his shoulder and his breathing slowed. Sometimes the Selkie would lie down, his legs wrapped in a blanket and resting on Jayce's thighs, who would absent-mindedly massage his partner's right calf, and they would both read in comfortable silence or spend their break chatting.
Finally, they would go back to work until evening, when they would eat leftovers or small dishes that Jayce prepared under his partner's amazed gaze. And when night fell, they would both walk to the beach and Jayce would watch Viktor shape-shift and disappear into the waves.
The routine quickly became so natural that Jayce almost forgot that Viktor had not always been part of his life... And he could no longer imagine it without his partner by his side.
Every time they parted, even if only for a single night, unparalleled anxiety knotted his guts and a cold sweat made him shiver, almost preventing him from closing his eyes.
He had been serious when he had told Viktor that he was trying to charm him: his affection and attachment had always been immediate in every aspect of his life, and the Selkie was no exception to this rule. All it took was a glance, a smile, a word for him to know that he would be devoted to his saviour until the end of his days. Jayce had tried to contain his enthusiasm, but he was incapable of doing so...
And even if his previous romantic partners had grown weary of his overflowing affection, Viktor did not seem frightened by it. On the contrary, he returned every smile, every wink, squeezed his hand in his, leaned against Jayce's palm when he slipped it between his shoulder blades, on his lower back or on his shoulder.
Their connection was so strong, so natural, that the scientist was unable to contain himself any longer. A week after they began working together, as he walked Viktor back to the waves and as a new downpour accompanied them along the way, Jayce blurted out the question that had been burning on his lips for what seemed like an eternity.
"Can I kiss you?"
The Selkie's eyes widened and he froze, as if paralysed by the words. He glanced towards the sea, almost imperceptibly, just enough for Jayce to realise what he had just asked and for shame to wash over him.
"Oh gods! I'm so sorry, I... I don't know what came over me," he stammered, taking a step backward.
You idiot, you're going to scare him away!
"Forgive me."
You've ruined everything!
But once again, Viktor didn't walk away, nor did he frown.
He just tilted his head slightly.
"Sorry, I don't know what-... Oh, wait: you mean this?"
And then, standing on tiptoe, he placed his hands on Jayce's shoulders and placed a kiss on his cheek.
Blown away, the scientist remained speechless for a full ten seconds, only snapping out of it when the Selkie became concerned about his silence.
"Is that not a kiss?
- No, it's... It is, actually." An amused smile stretched his lips. "I was just thinking about the other kind of kiss. The one reserved for the person you're in love with, for your life partner."
This time, Viktor blushed violently and pursed his lips almost instantly.
"Oh... Oh, you mean like people who come here when they don't want to be seen when they-..."
His face flushed even more and he brought his hand to his lips, barely touching them as he searched for words. And for the first time since they had met, he couldn't find them.
"I'm sorry Viktor, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. You don't have to say yes, I... No, that was stupid of me. Forget it.
- No, I... It's not that I don't want to, it's just that..."
Viktor looked down, his cheeks growing redder and redder, and Jayce cleared his throat.
"It's fine, I promise. You have the right not to feel the same way I do. Can we just pretend I didn't say anything? I swear I won't bother you with this again."
Terrified that he had ruined their friendship and partnership, Jayce felt his heart racing violently in his chest. He could no longer hear anything, not the sound of the waves or the howling wind. All he could hear was the pounding of his blood in his ears and a voice screaming over and over again in his mind.
You scared him, he's going to say you're overdoing it and that you're overwhelming, you've managed to scare away the only person who understood you!
"It's not that. On the contrary..."
Viktor's voice, slightly muffled by the anguish rumbling in his veins, pulled him out of his torpor. Jayce took a brief breath and immediately, the world was clear again as the Selkie continued.
"I care about you, deeply... I have for a long time now. And I would be happy to... to kiss you b-but I've never done that before and I don't want you to be disappointed."
Jayce felt as if an invisible hand was squeezing his heart, a burning hand that sent a wave of relief and emotion coursing through his veins, a wave so intense that he almost fainted.
Slowly, almost unconsciously, his hands found Viktor's and he whispered.
"Nothing you do could ever disappoint me."
A worried gleam in his eyes, Viktor let out a mocking snort.
"You're letting your affection blind you.
- I don't think I've ever been so clear-headed in my entire life."
Blown away by his determination, the Selkie held his gaze, and Jayce leaned forward slowly, his heart pounding in his chest. Gently, tenderly, he pushed a wet strand of hair behind Viktor's ear before whispering.
"May I?"
His partner seemed to hesitate, torn between nervousness and curiosity. He bit his lip, glanced towards the sea, then looked back into Jayce's eyes, closed his own, and finally, almost imperceptibly, he nodded.
Jayce's right hand slid over Viktor's pale, damp cheek, gently caressing his jaw to accompany his movement, and he finally let his lips brush against the Selkie's for what lasted barely a second.
Blood pulsed in his ears as he took a step back, terrified that he had gone too far, but Viktor did not pull away. He opened his eyes slightly and brushed his lips with his fingertips before whispering softly.
"Was that... okay?
- What do you mean?
- Did I live up to your expectations?"
Jayce smiled, touched by his partner's concern. "You don't have to worry about that. You're perfect."
Although it seemed impossible, Viktor's face seemed to blush even more, and he lowered his eyes before whispering something Jayce couldn't hear.
"Hm?
- Can we... Can we try again?"
And that was all it took for Jayce to feel his heart skip a beat.
The wind blew his hood back over his shoulders, but it couldn't swallow the surprised sound that the Selkie let out, a stunned, muffled gasp that turned into a sigh when Jayce cupped his face with both hands and deepened the kiss that tasted of salt and magic.
Fireworks exploded in Jayce's heart, and the rest of the world faded away around him.
The waves, the rain, the wind, the calculations, his research...
Everything disappeared, replaced only by a name, a being, a soul.
Viktor, Viktor, Viktor...
At first hesitant, Viktor's hands found Jayce's elbows until they slid up to his shoulders, both to pull him closer and to cling to him. He gasped when Jayce pulled back to let him catch his breath, and sighed again when their lips met, wet with raindrops rolling down their cheeks. The scientist felt as if his heart were about to explode, as if love and fascination were drowning him with the same force as the tide that was lapping at their feet.
"You're incredible," Jayce whispered between two kisses, "incredible."
Viktor shivered in his arms, parted his lips to try to imitate him and return his kiss, and Jayce interpreted his sigh as an invitation to hold him tighter...
And to follow through on his thoughts.
"I love you."
Viktor's eyes widened, but his answer was stifled by another kiss, another plea.
"I love you."
So much for caution, so much for rushing things. Jayce's feelings were eating away at him, demanded to be expressed, and he was powerless against the strength of his love. And since Viktor wasn't pushing him away, since he had told him he cared about him... Maybe he wouldn't scare him away by being true to himself and his thoughts.
For a second, Jayce saw himself kissing Viktor until the world stopped, as if those lips had become his only source of oxygen... But maybe that was also a way to protect his heart. Because if they stayed like this forever, his partner couldn't push him away.
But Viktor ended up pulling back slightly, cheeks crimson and lips parted in a hoarse, erratic breath. When their eyes met again, Jayce felt his whole being tense up, preparing for rejection, for being alone again... But the Selkie just whispered.
"Me too."
Jayce's eyes filled with tears of emotion and he let out a sound closer to a sob than a laugh as he pulled his partner into his arms, burying his face in his throat. Viktor's hands found his back, anchoring themselves there, and his sigh of contentment caressed Jayce's neck, making him shiver.
"You don't have to say it back.
- But it's true." Ice-cold lips brushed the scientist's skin in a fleeting kiss, and Jaycer felt his legs buckle. "I think I have loved you for a long time now, Jayce."
And the scientist decided to believe him, to be content with this timeless moment as the rain baptised their feelings in a wet yet burning embrace. Timidly, Viktor kissed him again before resting his forehead against his.
"This is how we show affection, especially to our partners."
Jayce cupped the back of Viktor's neck and closed his eyes, savouring the contact and the sign of affection. "Then I am truly the happiest man alive.
- Perhaps because you are the best of men.
- Do you know many men?
- No, but years of observation have been enough for me to know that this is the truth."
Jayce smiled softly, kissed his porcelain skin delicately, and sighed.
"Can't you stay a little longer? Just for today?"
Viktor shook his head gently and stepped back regretfully. He drew the lines of Jayce's face with his fingertips, as if to brush away the drops of water that dared to venture there.
"I have to limit my stays on earth. But I'll be here at dawn, as I promised you. So... I'll see you tomorrow?"
Jayce nodded, torn between happiness and despair.
"I'll be waiting.
- I know."
They exchanged a smile and Jayce accompanied the Selkie until the water reached his knees and ruined his trousers. Only then did he let go of Viktor's hands, letting his fingers slip away…
But as Viktor's fingers slipped away, escaping his grasp, the Selkie suddenly closed his hands around his. Jayce blinked, letting out a sound that almost sounded like a question... And when he met his partner's mischievous gaze and saw his amused smile, he felt his breath catch in his throat.
He was underwater before he could even realise that Viktor had pulled him into the waves.
Bubbles roared around him as the foam dispersed on the surface, and the current slid against Jayce's chest and under his arms. The sea didn't push him away. Actually, it almost felt as if it was welcoming him with a satisfied sigh, as if to make up for having denied him oblivion a few days ago.
Jayce didn't have time to let panic set in, didn't have time to realise that he had exhaled all the air from his lungs and that the salt was burning his eyes. Once he met Viktor's shining gaze, he felt nothing but wonder and boundless trust.
I would let him drown me.
I would let him take me with him.
But his partner did not drown him, nor did he try to drag him into the abyss.
Viktor was smiling when his hands framed Jayce's face as they both slid between the sand and the surface, carried by the sea in this timeless place. And when the Selkie kissed him again, Jayce kissed him back, holding him as close as possible.
Bubbles escaped around them, the waves dancing against their bodies and tangling their hair, and despite his lungs' pleas, Jayce was suddenly certain that he had never felt so alive, like he belonged there.
Viktor kissed the tip of his nose, his forehead, then, with a wink, he pushed him upwards towards the light.
Jayce broke the surface, gasping for air, coughing and struggling to catch his breath because of the waves crashing against his face. He wiped the salt water from his eyes, pushed his wet hair back and feverishly scanned the waves, looking for a sign of his partner...
Who reappeared right in front of him in his true form, almost startling him.
The seal looked him straight in the eye, blew some air, and then swam under Jayce's hands, first rubbing its nose affectionately against his palms before letting his fingers brush its skin. The scientist laughed, both a gasp of wonder and a delighted chuckle, and his voice caught in his throat when the Selkie suddenly leaned forward and pressed its wet nose against his, its forehead touching his until salty droplets trickled down his face.
Heart tight with overwhelming emotion, Jayce whispered.
"I love you too."
The seal seemed to almost smile before breathing one last time and slipping into the waves, disappearing from view.
Jayce stood with his feet in the water for a long time, his face wet from the rain, from the traces of Viktor's kiss on his forehead, and from the uncontrollable tears rolling down his cheeks.
The next morning, he was on the beach even earlier than usual. And yet, as if their connection extended beyond the waves, the sun's rays were just emerging from the sea when Viktor stood up in the water.
He didn't bother to put on his clothes.
A delighted smile lighting up his face, he walked clumsily over to Jayce and immediately hugged him before kissing him.
It was then that Jayce knew for certain that he had found his soulmate, the one he had missed so much during all those years of his life.
Now, at last, everything was fine.
***
They worked for three more weeks, filling their breaks with tender and peaceful moments. When they weren't working, they still took their breaks in the living room, but since their first kiss, their reading and napping were accompanied by intertwined fingers, foreheads resting against each other, arms draped over shoulders or around the chest, or even light kisses. The same was true for their meals and the moments spent in Jayce's office: they thanked each other with a kiss, a touch of the finger on the back of the hand, they hugged after a discovery or a success in their experiments, they embraced with renewed affection and delighted laughter.
The already well-established routine became imprinted on Jayce's heart, and the certainty that he could never live without Viktor was confirmed day after day. Every evening, he begged the Selkie to spend the night at his house, to stay longer than a day. At first, Viktor gently resisted and would kiss him reassuringly before disappearing into the waves, leaving Jayce alone with the terrible fear that his partner might one day not return. Of course, Viktor returned every morning, but the fear that something might happen to him once he was away terrified Jayce, gnawing at him as soon as he lost sight of the Selkie.
So when, after about a month of work, his partner decided for the first time to stay an extra night and day so they could finish the calculation they had just started, Jayce thought he was going to let out a real cry of victory.
"We're off to such a good start and all the ideas are so fresh in our minds that it would make me sick to stop now. Do you think I could stay the night?
- Of course! That's an excellent idea."
Jayce hid his euphoria as best he could behind a silly smile, but Viktor still noticed it, of course. Clutching his sealskin to his heart, the Selkie gently patted his partner's cheek.
"Wipe that smug smile from your face, Mr Scientist, and go and make us some coffee instead. We'll need it to get through the night."
And that's exactly what they did: fighting exhaustion, drinking cup after cup of coffee, they worked tirelessly until sunrise. And even then, they ate only a few pieces of bread without walking away from the board, their eyes swollen and bloodshot. Jayce was the first to fall asleep in the small office chair, awakened by Viktor, who walked him to his room. They both collapsed in bed, falling asleep in the blink of an eye.
"The human body is so frustrating," Viktor grumbled, stretching until his bones cracked. "In my true form, when I'm at sea, I can sleep in ten-minute intervals, putting only the left half of my brain to sleep.
- Welcome to the human race, the most fragile beings there are," Jayce said as he handed him a cup of coffee.
Viktor tried in vain to stifle a yawn and thanked his partner before resting his head on Jayce's shoulder with a weary sigh. "And I suppose if we decide to go back to sleep, we won't be able to sleep tonight?
- Bingo."
The Selkie let out an exhausted groan and Jayce laughed openly as he put his free arm around his partner's shoulders.
"Sorry.
- It's not your fault," Viktor mumbled, "I'm the one who decided to be stubborn, and now we're both paying the price.
- I was aware and I gave my consent, I don't blame you.
- That's not really making me feel better...
- It should. I mean it."
The Selkie laughed softly, more of a stifled chuckle than anything else. "You are too kind, Jayce Talis."
That same evening, Viktor returned to the sea, but as the weeks passed and gradually turned into a second and then a third month, he began to spend more and more days in a row with Jayce. He usually didn't exceed four days in a row, but the scientist was determined to turn that into a week, or even more.
This was how he imagined the effects of a drug: the more time he spent with Viktor, the less he could bear to be away from him. And so, every evening, he insisted a little more in the hope that his partner would spend one more night by his side. But the Selkie would shake his head, smiling.
"You are insatiable."
Still, Jayce could see that, as time went by, Viktor was giving in to his pleas more and more often. It was obvious that even though he tried to hide it behind a peaceful demeanour and calm but determined smiles, his partner wanted the same thing as him, with just as much intensity.
They both wanted to stay together day and night, to spend their days in their office or in the living room, dozing peacefully as dawn caressed their cheeks and gently woke them up... And Jayce knew that they would eventually find a solution, a way to allow Viktor to stay on earth by his side. They just hadn't talked about it yet, too focused on their work to turn their attention to another project, but it was already clear in his mind that his next research topic would be the most important one.
The Academy and its council didn't matter anymore: all Jayce wanted was to channel the positive effect the sea had on Viktor and keep it in a necklace he could wear day and night... That way, the Selkie could live by his side forever and never leave him alone again. And for that, he needed his experiment to work. Because if a single stone could power an entire city, it could also, one day, contain the elements Viktor needed to never have to return to the sea.
Jayce broached the subject with his partner, of course. He shared his theories and dreams with him while Viktor's fingers slid through his hair. The Selkie nodded, punctuating his hypotheses with a thoughtful "hm"... In the end, he always ended up kissing Jayce's forehead and whispering.
"What we have now is perfect. You couldn't make me any happier than I already am."
But Jayce knew he was lying to protect him. He knew that Viktor wanted the same thing he did, but preferred to avoid getting his hopes up. So he focused on their current project, content to caress Viktor's collarbones, where the stone would one day sit, while his partner was still asleep, silently promising him that he would find a solution and that they would be happy forever.
Worst case scenario, even if the experiments were not as successful as they hoped, Jayce also knew of another solution recounted in storybooks... A way to ensure that a Selkie's human form would become his one and only body... And although it was not his preferred solution, he knew that he was prepared to do anything and would stop at nothing to guarantee them the happiness they both deserved.
But it would be their last resort, the one they didn't even talk about out loud.
After a few months, as they finally approached a conclusive result, Viktor stayed home for a little over seven days, during which they worked tirelessly. It was on this occasion that they carried out their first test in what had become more of a lab than an office.
As they were about to start the test, Jayce exchanged a final glance with his partner: to his right, Viktor adjusted his protective goggles one last time before grabbing the power lever. "Ready."
The scientist swallowed hard, took a deep breath, held it, and nodded. In the next second, Viktor flipped the switch, and the room was plunged into darkness... Until Jayce pressed the switch on the battery.
Inside the battery, a piece of refined stone started glowing and humming.
A shock shook the foundations of the house and a violent blue light dazzled them.
At first, all they could see were stars on their eyelids, then, finally, the lights of the room came on one by one, almost timidly... And all the bulbs and electrical appliances in the building began to hum and turn, powered solely by a tiny piece of stone.
Jayce was completely stunned, amazed that the first test was successful after struggling for years when he had to work without his partner. Open-mouthed, eyes wide and fixed on the light bulb in the office, his hand did not leave the battery switch for a good minute. When he was certain that nothing was going to explode, when Viktor proudly handed him the tool that allowed them to measure the stability of the energy level, he allowed himself to exhale all the air in his lungs and turned off the switch, plunging the house back into darkness and bathing the room in nothing but moonlight.
"Congratulations," Viktor confirmed with a delighted smile on his lips, "you did it."
A tear of emotion rolled down Jayce's cheek without him noticing, and he only realised it when Viktor's face froze with concern. His partner gently touched his cheek.
"Jayce?"
The scientist let out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob as he wiped his eyes with the back of his free hand. He kissed his partner's knuckles.
"It's nothing. They're tears of joy."
After a brief second, he met Viktor's gaze and added. "However, you've made a small mistake."
Surprised, the Selkie frowned and turned to the blackboard. "What? No, all the calculations are correct. We've each checked them a dozen times. And the level remains stable, I don't see where I-..."
Jayce burst out laughing. Heart overflowing with joy and relief, he lifted Viktor into his arms, knocking his crutch to the floor in the process. "Damn it, V: we did it! We did it, together! You're incredible!"
The Selkie grabbed his shoulders, initially taken aback by his reaction, but seeing his partner's obvious happiness, he smiled back, then let out a little laugh as Jayce spun around. The sound bounced delicately around the room, enveloping the scientist's heart with cotton and silk... And he thought to himself that it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.
They spun like this for a few moments, eternity contained in a bubble of time made up of wonder and laughter, and when he finally stopped, they were both breathless and looking straight into each other's eyes, olive and amber.
Their chests heaving with erratic breaths, each caressing the other's cheeks, they gazed at each other for a long time, without saying a word, as if afraid of breaking the spell...
Then, slowly, tenderly, Viktor's hands left Jayce's shoulders and cupped his face, delicately tracing his features as he breathed.
"Happiness suits you, Jayce."
The scientist's heart leapt in his chest, and he distinctly felt waves of heat emanating from his ribcage and spreading throughout his body. He held his breath briefly, his eyes wide and his lips parted...
Then he let his partner slide a few inches into his arms and he kissed him.
Viktor let out a small sigh and he returned his embrace, still cupping his face with his palms. They remained locked in this embrace for a long time, pressed tightly against each other, and when the Selkie's feet met the ground again, Jayce felt a burning passion ignite his entire being.
"I love you."
As always when he made this kind of declaration, Viktor's breath caught briefly in his throat. Jayce tenderly caressed his cheeks before repeating.
"I love you, V."
Viktor's gaze clouded briefly, a breeze in the amber of his eyes, and his voice was hoarse when he replied slowly, articulating each word. "I love you too..."
His throat tight with emotion, Jayce kissed him again and the Selkie's arms came around his neck, pulling him a little closer.
Something growled in Jayce's chest, a result of the adrenaline that followed their success but also of several months spent observing and admiring his partner. This beast had already awoken several times in Jayce's heart since they had met, mainly during moments of innocent closeness, so it was not unknown to him. It had actually become a kind of 'companion' during his moments of solitude, when Viktor disappeared among the waves.
The beast in his heart kept him company when Jayce lay wide-eyed in bed, breathing in his partner's scent on the pillow.
It kept him company when he gave in to his most basic instincts and sighed the Selkie's name in the night while a hand slipped in his briefs.
And although Jayce had always fought against it and closed the cage of his desire when he was in Viktor's presence, this time he chose to give in.
He let his right hand caress Viktor's neck, sending uncontrollable shivers through him, and he pressed the Selkie a little closer until their bodies met. Then Jayce rolled his hips slightly, and even more delicious than the rush of pleasure that coursed through his veins was the strangled sound that escaped Viktor's lips, making his head spin.
The scientist drank that gasp at its source, finding it directly on his partner's lips, still pressed against his own, and he moved forward until the Selkie had his back against the wall and Jayce wedged his thigh against his crotch.
This time, it wasn't just a simple sound of surprise that rewarded him, but an almost inaudible yelp as Viktor's hands clenched on his back and his lips parted. Breathless, his partner stammered in a low voice.
"Jayce, what are you..."
Jayce pressed his thigh against him again, and the Selkie bit his lower lip, letting out a slight moan. He pressed a hand over his mouth, suddenly horrified, and tried to pull away as best he could.
"Jayce...
- Can I keep going?"
Viktor remained silent at first, his hand muffling the sounds that threatened to escape him, then, after a few seconds, he managed to nod with a whisper.
"Please..."
And Jayce didn't keep him waiting a second longer.
He kissed Viktor's throat, first tenderly, then nibbled it, and the Selkie's head rolled back, almost hitting the wall. Instinctively, Viktor rolled his hips in turn, seeking to replicate the friction, and his sigh made every string in Jayce's heart vibrate. Viktor's forehead rested against his partner's shoulder, and he gasped, clinging to his arms. And the muffled sounds that caressed Jayce's cheek made his blood boil in his veins as much as the heat growing against his thigh. Jayce placed his hands on the Selkie's hips and moved with him, eliciting a hoarse gasp, and very quickly, he knew he would be unable to resist.
"Can I take you to my room?"
Cheeks slightly flushed, Viktor blinked questioningly before nodding. Without needing to say it, Jayce immediately understood the look in his eyes: they had already slept in this bed, talked during the whole night and they had dozed off as the sun rose in the sky, so what was different this time?
What was different enough for him to ask for his consent for something they had already done?
Jayce kissed him again, a little more tenderly, and he whispered against his lips.
"I want you. I want to show you what you can do with your life partner."
Viktor blushed violently, but he didn't pull away either, and this time a glimmer of understanding flashed across his eyes as he let out a small, strangled ‘oh’. He bit his lip slightly before hugging Jayce again.
"Show me."
Jayce lifted his partner in his arms, and they left the office without looking back, neither at their battery, nor at the crutch that had hit the floor, nor at the sealskin that adorned the small armchair.
Jayce gently laid Viktor down on his bed – their bed – kissing him continuously, and he only moved away to remove his own T-shirt under his partner's wide-eyed gaze.
"I thought humans were terribly modest... That it wasn't..." The Selkie's voice broke into a gasp when Jayce opened his shirt and caressed his chest. "Decent...
- There are exceptions," Jayce replied, marvelling at the diaphanous skin beneath his palms, "like when two people love each other very much, or when they want to...
- Mate?"
Jayce choked on his saliva and he felt his excitement skyrocket without quite understanding why. Faced with Viktor's big, intrigued eyes, he gently corrected.
"To make love."
The Selkie repeated the words softly, savouring each syllable and rolling each sound on his tongue before grinning.
"It's much more poetic than 'mating'.
- Isn't it?"
They exchanged a smile and Jayce kissed him again, keeping his hands on his partner's hips. Viktor gasped, his breath caressing his partner's cheek, and his voice caught in his throat when Jayce drew a line of kisses from his throat to his navel. And as he slid down Viktor's body, sliding his trousers down his legs and beginning to do the same with his briefs, the Selkie stiffened.
"Jayce-...
- Don't worry," he whispered hoarsely before kissing his thigh, "I'll take care of everything. Just focus on how it feels."
Watching him with wide eyes as his last piece of clothing was removed, Viktor finally fell back onto the mattress, cheeks crimson and arms stiff at his sides. He who initially had no concept of shame was now trembling beneath Jayce's palms, as if a few months on earth had been enough to instil in him a sense of shame. Jayce saw the Selkie's hands close and open on the sheets, as if he didn't know how to behave, as if he didn't know what was expected of him... And Jayce felt a wave of emotion and overwhelming love swell in his heart when he fully realised that this was the first time his partner had experienced this kind of thing in his human form.
That he would be his first.
His only one.
"Adorable," he purred between kisses on his partner's thighs, "absolutely adorable."
Viktor let out a small strangled sound when Jayce's lips got dangerously closer to his core, resting on his mound. He flinched before writhing on the bed, crumpling the sheets in the same movement.
"Jayce...
- Hm?"
Viktor bit his lip, already out of breath, and he confessed in a strangled voice.
"I think I'm scared.
- You don't have to be scared." Jayce stopped his ministrations, preferring to help his partner relax before going any further. "I'll take care of you, I promise."
But despite his promises and reassuring words, despite the kisses on his skin and the caresses on his legs and stomach, Viktor did not relax. His muscles remained rigid, tense, on the lookout for invisible danger. So, without a moment's hesitation, Jayce abandoned his position between his partner's thighs to tenderly cup Viktor's face in his hands. He found his gaze – both panicked and clouded with lust – and once he had managed to capture his attention, he smiled. He rubbed his nose affectionately against his, then kissed him.
Instantly, Viktor melted into his hands, sighing contentedly at this familiar gesture he now knew by heart. He returned his embrace, wrapping his arms around Jayce to caress his neck and the back of his head, earning him shivers of ecstasy and a hungry growl in answer.
Jayce pulled away reluctantly, his heart pounding. His lips parted and reddened from their kisses, Viktor never took his eyes off him, looking at him with all the adoration and wonder in the world.
"Do you trust me?"
With flushed cheeks and shining eyes, Viktor nodded.
"I do.
- I promise to cherish you. Tell me if it's too much, and I'll stop. Okay?"
The Selkie nodded slowly before whispering. "Kiss me again?"
And who was Jayce to disobey him?
He kissed him tenderly, then with growing passion, and quickly, Viktor became breathless in his arms, his hips rising almost instinctively to meet Jayce's and to find some semblance of friction.
"...weird...
- Tell me, my love.
- Feels weird," Viktor babbled between kisses, "Jayce...
- Can I..." He swallowed, stunned by his own audacity, and let his right hand slide down to his partner's mound. "Can I kiss you there?"
Viktor arched his back, his lips rounded in a strangled moan, and his nails traced lines of fire across the scientist's shoulder blades.
"Yes..."
Jayce smiled against his throat before nibbling it tenderly, and the Selkie gasped and shuddered in his arms as he slid his lips down to his core again. And this time, when Viktor tensed, it wasn't because of his concern.
His back arched slightly against the sheets, fists clenching the sheets, and lips rounded on a sighed moan, all reactions that relieved Jayce as much as they moved him. Encouraged by this success and determined to reassure his partner and to pleasure him, he gently wedged Viktor's right thigh over his shoulder, giving him better access to his folds. After tenderly kissing his mound, he let his tongue travel up his already wet folds until it closed around his cock…
And the Selkie's whole body trembled as his hands clenched so tightly on the bed that his knuckles turned white.
"Jayce...
- Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?
- No." A hint of horror crept into Viktor's voice at the idea, and although they both remained serious at first, they ended up exchanging a smile. "No, please... Don't stop."
Gently caressing his thigh, Jayce kissed his partner's cock again.
"Your wish is my command."
Viktor's head rolled across the sheets with a groan that died away on a high note, and though he wanted to respond with something ironic, his words died on his lips, turning into a litany of moans and trembling whimpers that sometimes took the form of his partner's name. He writhed on the sheets, struggling irrepressibly to close his legs without ever succeeding, trying to stifle the moans that swelled in his chest as his body became covered in a characteristic redness. And when his stomach tensed, Viktor opened his eyes wide and sat up, grabbing his partner's hair.
"W-wait!"
Immediately, Jayce pulled back, breathless and eyes clouded by lust.
"Did I hurt you?"
Viktor looked at him for a while and he seemed to blush even more before slowly shaking his head.
"No, I... It's just that it became... different... More intense. Kind of like a wave starting from there," he explained, placing a hand on his lower abdomen, "and I didn't know if that was normal or not."
Both pride and adoration swelled in Jayce's chest, and he smiled.
"That's okay: that's what I was trying to make you feel. If you want, we can start again, and when you feel that wave, just hold on to me and let it come. I know it's a little scary the first time, but I'll make sure you enjoy it."
Noticing Viktor's hesitant glance, Jayce kissed his thigh and added.
"But we can also stop there, if you prefer.
- ...No." The Selkie bit his lip and lay back down. "No, I want to try."
Jayce squeezed his hand, offering him something to hold on to, and when Viktor's fingers tightened firmly around his, he resumed where he had left off.
Viktor bit his lip, his chest rising faster and faster, his brows creasing as pleasure surged through his veins. And when the wave rose again, he opened his eyes and let it wash over him.
A great shiver ran through Viktor's body, echoing in all his limbs, and he arched his back against the sheets with a hoarse, strangled cry, both of surprise and relief. Jayce made sure his partner could ride his orgasm by licking and sucking with a satisfied growl, only stopping eating Viktor out when his partner's voice broke into a low moan. Only then did he sit up with a wide smile on his glistening lips.
"So? That wave?"
Eyes wide and cheeks burning, Viktor raised his head slightly and looked at him with the same expression he wore when they made a scientific discovery, with both fascination and amazement.
"It's... So much better than mating," he gasped, trying to catch his breath.
Jayce laughed and rubbed his nose tenderly against his cheek.
"And there are many other ways for you to feel good.
- I know humans are strange but when it comes to reproduction, simply enjoying pleasure probably isn't enough to ensure the survival of the species.
- And you're right, but we don't have to take it any further."
Jayce ran his hand through his partner's hair, brushing it away from his sweat-dampened forehead. "All that matters is that you feel pleasure. Making love isn't just for the purpose of conceiving, it's... A communion of souls and bodies, another way of showing your love for your partner. And that's all I want."
Although Viktor seemed moved – but also slightly unsettled by this concept of pleasure for pleasure's sake, without the need to reproduce – his brow furrowed as he looked down. Glancing at the bulge in his partner's trousers, he timidly placed his hand there, eliciting a hiss from the scientist.
"Is there anything I can do for you?
- No, not tonight." Jayce kissed his forehead. "Tonight, I'm taking care of you. You're my priority."
The Selkie blushed visibly and, despite his still slightly hoarse breathing, he rested his forehead against his companion's. "Then show me. Show me how we can feel pleasure together.
- We don't have to go any further.
- I know. But I want to." Viktor kissed him and nibbled lightly on his lower lip. "I want you."
And hearing those words come out of his partner's mouth made Jayce's head spin.
"Okay... Okay." He kissed him. "I promise I'll go slow. So promise me you'll stop me if you feel any discomfort.
- I will."
Jayce took his time, savouring every second as he prepared his partner as best he could, drinking in his sighs and moans directly from the source as his fingers scissored Viktor's hole and as he stroked his cock. And when he finally pushed in, he felt like he was going to die of happiness. Viktor stiffened in his arms, hands clinging to his partner's shoulder blades as a whine broke through his lips, and at first, Jayce wasn't concerned. But when two tears rolled down his partner's cheeks and when the whimper turned to a sob, Jayce immediately felt his heart stop. He cupped the Selkie's face and searched his gaze, suddenly terrified that he might have hurt him.
"Fuck V, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... Wait, I'll..."
But as he made to pull out, Viktor wrapped his left leg around his back and pinned him firmly against him with a hiss.
"Don't even think about it.
- But I'm hurting you and-...
- Keep going. Please."
Heart pounding, Jayce was about to refuse when he met his partner's burning eyes... Viktor gave him a small smirk before kissing him, whispering against his lips.
"Don't stop, my love."
So Jayce let fear fade away, replacing it with overflowing love and growing passion, and he let the pleasure pulsing in his loins follow his request. He began to move again, slowly at first, matching his partner's rhythm, and when the Selkie arched his back and moaned against his skin, an irrepressible shiver made all of Jayce's muscles tremble.
"I love you," he gasped between kisses, "my God, Viktor, I love you so much.
- M-me too. I love you... Jayce."
Jayce slid a hand against his partner's cock, pressed his forehead against his. Their ragged breaths intertwined, turning into moans as the same wave overwhelmed them both, leaving them panting and beaded with sweat on the crumpled sheets of their bed.
Out of breath, eyes filled with stars, Jayce lay down beside Viktor and hugged him, kissing his forehead before whispering. "Are you okay?"
The Selkie pretended to roll his eyes, but he snuggled more comfortably against him as he grumbled in a slightly hoarse voice.
"He's asking me if I'm 'okay'..."
Then, noticing his partner's concerned look, Viktor smiled and kissed him tenderly. "I've never felt better. Thank you, Jayce.
- Thank you," the scientist whispered with palpable relief.
They remained like that for several long minutes, Jayce caressing his partner's diaphanous arm as their breathing gradually calmed.
Until Viktor broke the silence.
"I wish I could stay with you forever..."
His voice was a whisper, already sleepy, but Jayce heard his plea and froze, filled with hope.
"Really?
- Hm... I love you."
His vision blurred with tears, Jayce kissed his partner's forehead and held him close. "I love you too. And I promise you that I will do everything I can to ensure that nothing ever separates us again. We will find a solution, together."
Viktor smiled, his eyes closed. "I trust you. I know we will find a way."
At these words, the scientist stiffened, and he remained silent until he was certain that his partner had fallen asleep. Then, after hesitating for a few moments, he slipped out of bed, got dressed as quietly as possible, and walked purposefully towards the office.
He found the sealskin where Viktor had left it, dropped on the armchair of his office, where it had remained for most of the week, and he held it close to his heart before leaving the room without looking back. He got down the stairs as quietly as possible, with the terrifying feeling that his heart was beating so loudly that the whole world must be able to hear it, and he finally reached the small trapdoor hidden under the living room carpet... The one that led to the cellar.
Jayce hesitated only when he placed his hand on the handle, the metal icy against his skin giving him a shock.
He swallowed hard, blood pounding loudly in his ears, and he almost gave up. For a second, he almost put the sealskin back where he had found it so that he could lie down next to the love of his life to silence his anxiety. After all, they would find another way, together. It had only taken them a few months to get a battery to work: if they put their heads together, it might only take them a few years to find a solution, a way for Viktor to live here forever, with him, without having to leave him behind to go back to the sea.
And yet another voice grew louder and louder, drowning out all rationality under a flood of anxiety.
Except that you might not find a real solution. Maybe Viktor will grow tired of you by then. Maybe he'll leave one day and never come back. Maybe he'll abandon you now that he's helped you realise your dream. Maybe he'll realise that you don't deserve him. You have no time to lose.
A bead of sweat rolled down his neck.
He wants to stay with you. He told you so. Even if he might be worried at first, he'll thank you in the end. And if you're afraid of his reaction, just don't tell him anything. It's the only way if you want to keep him by your side.
Slid down his spine.
The only way.
Jayce closed his eyes, took a deep breath...
You can't stop now.
And he opened the trapdoor.
The sun had just risen when Jayce heard Viktor's footsteps slowly crossing the hallway upstairs. Sitting in the dining room, he forced himself to take a sip of coffee when he realised he had been holding his breath. Everything would be fine: Viktor wanted to stay with him. He might be a little worried at first, but he would get used to their situation.
Everything would be fine.
Jayce heard the crutch's rhythm accompanying his partner's footsteps, at first peacefully, then faster and faster, disordered... He took a deep breath and got up before going upstairs, waiting for his heartbeat to calm down before opening the office door.
"Viktor?
- No... No, no, no, no, no..."
Despite the pain in his leg, Viktor was feverishly turning over every cushion and blanket and looking under every piece of furniture. His hands were shaking, his eyes furiously scanning the room. His chest heaved with ever-increasing irregular breathing, and his knees seemed to buckle with every movement, so much so that Jayce finally felt a sense of concern wash over him.
"V, what's going on? Calm down, breathe with me. "
Viktor clung to him, crumpling the fabric of his shirt in his trembling fists. "It's gone!
- What is?
- My pelt!"
Unprecedented panic clouded the Selkie's gaze, and he was breathing with difficulty, a hoarse, wheezing sound punctuated by horrified gasps.
"I must find it. Without it I... I can't go back, he gasped between breaths, I can't shape-shift to my true form."
Jayce squeezed his partner's hands in his and brought them to his lips. "Don't worry, we'll find it eventually. Come on, let's eat first and-...
- No, I have to find it right now! "
Viktor broke free from his embrace and began pacing the room again, almost tearing his hair out in uncontrollable anguish as he repeated a litany of "I have to find it" until his voice almost broke.
"Where did you last see it?
- I left it in... In the office," Viktor gasped, "I didn't have a chance to take it to the bedroom when we... When we..."
He was breathing faster and faster, overcome by a panic attack that took hold of his entire being, and yet he continued to pace around the house, searching it from top to bottom, retracing his steps from the last few days. Jayce followed him downstairs without a word.
"I don't understand," Viktor stammered, "I'm sure I left it in the office.
- You've been here for a week, are you sure you even brought it?
- I don't go anywhere without it, of course I brought it."
With his back to him, his partner froze and buried his face in his hands for several long seconds, so long that when Jayce decided to speak again, his voice seemed too loud, echoing in the room.
"Maybe you left it on the beach and the tide washed it away?"
Viktor froze, his shoulders stiff, and for a second it was as if time had stopped. No breath passed the Selkie's lips, no answer...
Then, slowly, as if in slow motion, he turned around and Jayce saw that his already pale face had turned pallid.
Lips parted, eyes wide, an expression of pure pain was drawn on Viktor's features, and his chin trembled briefly. He stared at Jayce for what seemed like an eternity, with a look so haunted, so stunned, that the scientist felt his insides knot up.
Then a single tear rolled down the Selkie's cheek and a trembling sigh escaped him.
The sound was faint, almost inaudible, and yet it seemed to echo through the room like a cry or a heart-wrenching sob, and it dug its claws into Jayce's heart.
He can't know. He doesn't know. And he shouldn't be hurt, he should be happy to be able to stay with me.
Throat tight with sudden anxiety at having been discovered, Jayce took a step forward and placed his hands on his partner's shoulders.
"V? Can you think of anywhere else where we could look for it?"
Viktor took a brief breath and blinked, still staring at him as if he didn't recognise him... Or rather, as if he was trying to read the answer to his question in Jayce's features. He opened his mouth, eyes shining with tears...
Then a cloud covered his amber eyes, which darkened and dimmed, and he pressed his lips together so tightly that they turned bloodless.
"No," he whispered hoarsely, so softly that Jayce could barely hear him, "you must be right... The sea must have washed it away..."
He lowered his eyes, looking completely defeated...
Stunned.
Jayce slid his thumb across Viktor's cheek, wiping away the tear that had rolled down there, then he hugged him tenderly and kissed the top of his head, breathing in the scent of his hair.
"Don't worry, we'll keep looking and you can stay with me until we find it. I'll take care of you, I promise. And we'll be together no matter what happens."
The Selkie nodded weakly, but said nothing. He kept his lips pressed together as Jayce sat him on the sofa facing the window. He didn't thank him when his partner wrapped him in a thick blanket and placed a steaming cup of sweetmilk in his hands.
He remained slumped, his back hunched, staring out at the sea below, his face marked by grief and betrayal, until the cup grew cold between his stiff, icy fingers and night fell once more.
Without a word to his partner.
***
Their bond frayed in an instant.
Jayce was not stupid: he was well aware that Viktor knew that, like the characters in fairy tales, he had hidden the Selkie's skin, forcing him to stay by his side. But although he had been certain that his partner knew he had done it for them, just until they could find a better solution, the more time passed, the more Jayce doubted it.
Whereas they had spent months discussing or exchanging knowing glances, Viktor suddenly turned mute, walled up in a dejected and almost mournful silence. He ate almost nothing, barely dipping his lips into the cups of sweetmilk that Jayce prepared for him, occasionally thanking him with a slight nod of his head... He no longer participated in brainstorming or calculus sessions, only gratifying his partner with the occasional muted "hm" and leaving Jayce alone in front of the blackboard. Even at night, he curled up with his back to his partner, no longer initiating any contact but not refusing it when Jayce sadly hugged him and hid his face against the Selkie's throat.
Viktor's only occupation was to hide in the living room. His gaze never left the sea, and he only moved to get closer to the window for a better view. The scientist had suggested walking to the beach, pretending to do some research in the dunes, but his partner had shaken his head slowly, lips trembling and eyes shining with restrained tears.
Jayce was not stupid: he knew that despite the joy he should have felt at the thought of spending his life with him, his partner was depressed...
Even though he knew he had made the right choice – after all, the Selkie himself had told him that this was what he wanted – guilt gnawed at him, and while he worried about Viktor when he barely touched his food, he knew that they were both losing weight.
Jayce's nights were bad, haunted by the trapdoor hidden under the carpet but also by his partner's deteriorating condition and the accusatory finger he pointed at him in his dreams, his angry, betrayed expression unchanged even when Jayce fell to his knees, sobbing at his feet and begging for forgiveness. In the shadows of the night, even when he knew Viktor was awake, he let his tears of shame flow and whispered softly.
"Forgive me... Please forgive me... I need you... I did it for us, because I love you..."
The Selkie never answered, simply squeezing Jayce's hand in his... Without ever offering him the forgiveness he hoped for.
But that dream wasn't the worst of the ones that kept him awake.
The worst was the recurring nightmare in which he discovered that Viktor had found the trapdoor and had abandoned him, leaving the cottage's door open before disappearing into the waves, never to return.
When he woke up, Jayce was sweating, cheeks wet with tears, and he clung to Viktor until the sun rose, as much to prevent this prophecy from coming true as to reassure himself. Then he sobbed as quietly as possible, haunted by regret and the certainty that he had ruined everything...
In trying to do good, he had ruined everything...
Once again...
But he could not turn back now. Because if he gave Viktor his skin back and therefore his freedom, he knew his partner would abandon him.
And being separated from him would kill him more surely than the Selkie's grief.
***
Viktor's health deteriorated week by week, pushing Jayce further into a corner every day and forcing him to face the consequences of his selfishness.
First, the Selkie's limp became more pronounced and his entire body collapsed in response, so that he could only move a few metres and only with a crutch and a makeshift splint made by his partner.
Then his hair – which he refused to cut – became streaked with light and almost white strands, and his face became gaunt, purple circles stretching under his eyes.
Finally, his breathing became a hoarse wheeze and he began coughing up blood.
Nothing helped, no treatment, no medication... Jayce tried everything, but his partner's condition worsened day by day.
Of course, the cause of his ailments was obvious... But the scientist refused to give up at first.
He looked for other ways to save him, working tirelessly on the stones whose energy they had managed to channel together... He was certain he could do it, that all Viktor needed to do was wear a necklace with a stone imbued with the power of the ocean to be healed and, above all, to be able to stay with him without suffering from his separation from the sea.
Jayce slept less and less, drowning himself in his work, drinking cup after cup of coffee as he spent all his nights awake, immersed in calculations and tests that he now carried out alone.
But as time passed, Viktor's condition kept getting worse.
Time was no longer on their side: the end was already upon them, and they both knew it, the Selkie with his resigned gaze, and Jayce with the panic and terror gnawing at his insides as each second slipped through his fingers.
No matter how hard he clenched his fists, how daring his tests became, and how close his proposals came to success, each sunrise brought new bloodstains on Viktor's pillow, new pains in his body... And even though he refused to admit it, Jayce knew it was already too late...
If he wanted to save the love of his life, he had to give him his freedom back, his free will…
His pelt...
Which meant that he would inevitably lose him... And this idea continued to make him sick.
"I'll find a solution," Jayce whispered one evening as he placed a damp cloth on his partner's sweat-beaded forehead. "I promise everything will be all right."
Eyes burning with fever, his face pale except for two patches of red on his cheekbones, Viktor simply sighed a hoarse, wheezing sound that broke into a fit of coughing. The cough shook his whole body and crumpled the blanket, which slipped from his shoulders onto the living room carpet.
Jayce's heart tightened in his chest and he wiped away the sweat rolling down his partner's face, but also the blood that had beaded on his pale lips.
"Please, hang on a little longer. I promise I'll find a way to heal you."
A sob interrupted him and he had to bite his lip before continuing.
"I can't lose you..."
After several long seconds during which Jayce struggled to catch his breath, Viktor finally looked up at him with exhausted, resigned eyes.
Without saying a word, Jayce understood the meaning of his gaze.
"You know what you have to do to save me."
Except that he couldn't bring himself to do it.
"Give me my pelt back."
He couldn't say out loud what they both knew. He couldn't reveal that he was the one responsible for their misfortunes.
"Set me free."
Hot tears burned Jayce's eyes, and he clenched his teeth before bringing Viktor's hand to his forehead.
He couldn't go on like this.
He couldn't let Viktor go.
He couldn't let Viktor die.
He couldn't let Viktor abandon him.
He couldn't watch him suffer.
He couldn't let their story end like this.
He couldn't...
"Jayce..."
He jumped violently and sat up with a start.
For the first time in months, Viktor looked him straight in the eye, with such intensity that Jayce felt weak.
"Please..."
His voice was hoarse, weakened from lack of use, and the sound broke Jayce's heart, causing him to burst into tears.
He had no choice.
His love had always been stronger than anything else.
Face red with shame but also pale with anguish and the conclusion that inevitably awaited them because of his own actions, Jayce knelt down and lifted the carpet, revealing the trapdoor... And when he placed the sealskin on Viktor's thin knees, the Selkie's face lit up briefly and his lips curved into a smile before he raised his trembling hands. His fingers touched the skin cautiously, as if afraid it would disappear again, but when the skin seemed to come to life and its grey became brighter, Viktor's eyes filled with tears and he buried his face in it with a sob of relief and despair.
Heart stuck in his throat, Jayce didn't say a word. He wouldn't have been able to... And anyway, he had lost the right to interfere in Viktor's life.
Silently, he lifted his partner into his arms, speaking only when the Selkie let out a small, alarmed sound as Jayce carried him past the stairs and through the front door.
"It's all right. You're going home and you'll be healed." His voice broke with a sob and he kissed his partner's hair. "Everything will be all right, V. I promise."
Viktor looked up at him with sad, exhausted eyes before curling up against Jayce and burying his face in the sealskin again.
The wind whipped Jayce's cheeks as if to encourage him to stop him in his tracks, but he didn't slow down. Cheeks wet with tears he couldn't stop, he adjusted Viktor's weight in his arms, stifling a sob when he realised once again how thin he had become, and he walked on towards the pebble beach.
Exhausted, the Selkie's head had rolled onto Jayce's chest, but he kept clinging to his sealskin with what little energy he had left. From time to time, he tried to look at the sea, but he never quite managed to do so.
They reached the beach after what seemed like hours, and Jayce froze when he became the target of a dozen black eyes. Usually so peaceful and relaxed, the seals seemed to glare at him. For a second, he thought they were going to attack him, to punish him for daring to hurt one of their own, but the seals didn't move, content to follow him while keeping their distance as he approached the sea.
Shoulders shaking with sobs, Jayce walked until the water reached his waist, until it was almost touching Viktor. His tears fell into the Selkie's hair, rolled down his cheeks, mingled with the sea spray, and he sobbed.
"Forgive me... I beg you, Viktor, forgive me. I just wanted us to be together forever... I'm so sorry. "
His voice choked in his throat and he slumped under the weight of his shame and grief, and only the roar of the waves answered his tears. On the beach, the seals remained silent, some having moved into the water to continue watching him with condemnation in their eyes.
Jayce closed his eyes, bent over by his guilt and regret...
And he jumped when an icy hand touched his cheek.
Viktor looked up at him, eyes underlined with purple exhaustion, and he whispered slowly, painfully, as if each word hurt him.
"I would have stayed with you..."
Jayce gently grasped his hand, kissed his palm, and gasped as Viktor continued softly.
"You were always the only one who mattered to me, Jayce..." His eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry you thought I could ever abandon you..."
The scientist nodded slowly, and his throat hurt so much that it took him several long seconds to articulate a semblance of an answer.
"You don't have to be sorry. It's all my fault... I curse everything I touch... I ruined everything..."
Viktor tenderly brushed his thumb across his partner's cheek, inviting Jayce to lean forward until their foreheads touched. The seals froze around them, and the scientist held his breath, eyes wide, praying for a promise to return, for an ending other than their inevitable separation... Then, the Selkie's breath caressed his face.
"Be happy, Jayce... Give your magic to the world... And don't forget me..."
Tears streamed down Jayce's drawn face as he nodded weakly, his voice torn with grief.
"I will never forget you. And I will never stop loving you."
He hugged Viktor tightly, knowing it was their last embrace. Then, slowly, with stiff movements, he lowered his arms until his partner was submerged in the waves. For a moment, only his face remained above the water, and in that second, their eyes met again and Viktor whispered.
"I will always love you..."
He closed his eyes and the sea covered his face.
Jayce distinctly felt the moment when the texture beneath his palms changed, when the rough clothing became smooth, cold skin. Even before he saw the light that had once amazed him so much, he knew that Viktor had transformed.
He stretched his arms out slightly, as if to hold on a little longer, but the dark figure slipped through his hands and drifted away into the sea with slow but fluid movements.
As if they had been waiting for this signal, the seals dived into the waves and disappeared.
Jayce was alone again.
It was all over.
His life was over
He had scared away the love of his life and lost him forever.
Life was no longer worth living.
The coastal wind whipped his face, as if urging him to turn back, but Jayce did not retreat. He had made his decision, and nothing and no one could change his mind.
"Take me with you..."
Jayce closed his eyes, spread his arms slightly, and let the waves swallow him up as the stone on his wrist started to glow.
And when he felt a snout brush against his forehead, he smiled.
***
It is said that two seals come to island's pebble beach every year.
They rest away from the others, near the dunes, and it is not uncommon to see them affectionately resting their foreheads against each other. Their movements are always imbued with great gentleness, an incredibly touching care that leaves those who manage to catch a glimpse of them moved almost to tears.
It is said that one of them has golden eyes and that the sun sometimes bathes the second one's left fin a bluish sheen.
It is said that they are always together, that they are the new incarnation of two lovers who used to live on the island's, and that nothing can separate them.
Not betrayal, not even death.