Chapter Text
The incessant foot tapping was the final straw for Noel. He could deal with him being over an hour late, could even chalk up the red and glazed-over eyes to youthful exuberance, and you know what? Who hasn't gone to rehearsals with last night's clothes on? He was just prepping for his rock star image, wasn’t he?
The rest of the band had filed out the second Noel shouted “Enough!” so loud he was sure it reached the bar upstairs. He just wouldn't stop tapping his foot and staring empty-eyed at the wall while they tried to run through the setlist, missing all his cues. And then the being late and the everything else came crashing down on Noel pretty quick.
He might have overreacted slightly, but this was becoming a pattern now for Liam, he just couldn’t take it any more. He snapped at his little brother and swore he’ll break his guitar over his head. Of course Noel would never do that to his own guitar. But it still drove Liam up the wall and made him get into Noel's face, gangly limbs waving around wildly.
“Ain't my fucking fault now, innit?” He barked at Noel.
“What? Are you fucking implying that it's my fault you're high out of your mind and a total wreck?” Noel was a very calm person most of the time, but Liam had quite a talent for pissing him off so much and so fast it felt like he was being electrocuted during every conversation they’ve ever had.
Noel unplugged his guitar, all hopes of a rehearsal before their gig tomorrow gone out the window.
Liam grabbed the guitar case out of his hand and forcefully shut it, presumably to prevent Noel from leaving. “How am I supposed to get a good night's sleep if I’m ferrying my arse from Burnage to here everyday?”
“What?” Noel gawked. “Ferrying your arse? It's fucking twenty minutes on the bus, you twat.” He grabbed the other end of his guitar case from Liam's hand and tugged as hard as he could, but the bastard planted his feet on the ground and wasn't letting up.
“More like thirty!” He shouted, making Noel laugh incredulously. “Not to mention all the waiting!”
Liam's entire existence was a trial that Noel must overcome. Surely this is not how his life was going to be forever. What if they get signed? And he became legally bound to this idiot? “You didn't go on no fucking bus, you dick.” He said, as he changed his strategy and pushed the guitar case towards Liam, making him stumble back. “You're wearing last night's clothes.”
He saw Liam's eyes go wide. He was such a shit Liar. He dropped the case on the floor and squared Noel with his most challenging look. “Yeah. So?”
The fucking gall on this kid. “So?” He mocked, mimicking Liam’s high pitched voice. “So fuck you, that's so. You got no fucking commitment.”
Liam flailed his arms wildly in Noel's face. “I’ve got fucking commitment, me.” He said. “I’ve got commitment coming out of me ears. I’m like the most committed man in all of Manchester. No, no. In all of England.” Fucking hell, only England then? So he would be even less committed in Wales?
“Okay.” Noel clapped his hands in front of his face to put a stop to Liam's rambling. He made his voice as calm as possible, “First of all, you're a boy, not a man. Second of all, if you the fucking poster image of commitment why were you an hour late if you were in some bird’s gaff right here in fucking Manchester?” He said to the now quiet room.
Liam’s eyes blazed with fire. “I’m a fucking man.” He said through gritted teeth.
Noel snorted, “That's what’s important to you?” He kept crowding Liam back towards the wall, “I’m putting my life on fucking hold for us and you can't even show up to rehearsal on the account of fucking what, a wet cunt and some weed?”
Liam squared his jaw and pushed Noel back, getting in his face so they were forehead to forehead, like a pair of battling bulls. “What fucking life?” He spit. “This is all you’ve fucking got.” He gestured wildly towards the room and himself.
Noel threw his head back as far as possible and headbutted with all his might. Smack. “Yeah?” He said, clutching his now pounding head. “You can fucking keep it all, mate. I’m done.”
Liam wailed as he stumbled slightly, dizzy and still in shock. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He groaned.
Noel got his guitar in its case as quickly as he could and slung it over his shoulder. “This is it, Liam. Can't fucking take it anymore.” He said, looking back. “Why did you beg me to join the band if you were gonna just fuck around and waste my time?”
“I didn't fucking beg you! Fuck you. Fuck off. It's my band. We managed before you didn't we?” He was almost screaming now.
“Fine! You can have your fucking band back. Keep doing this and live on the dole for the rest of your miserable fucking life. See if I care.” What a fucking waste this boy was. He didn't deserve it. Didn't deserve Noel. Didn't deserve his songs. Didn't deserve to have that voice and definitely didn't deserve that fucking face. Jesus Christ that face. He was all red and fuming now, bottom lip jutting out and hair in his eyes.
“Fine! I’ll do fucking amazing, me. You’ll fucking see.” He said, throwing himself on a chair, his long legs stretched out before him as he furiously rubbed at his forehead.
Noel threw a guitar pick at his direction and left, slamming the door shut on his way out.
***
She gave him her most you-are-pathetic look when she got home from work. He was still stewing a bit, a couple of empty bottles at his feet and an ashtray full to the brim.
“Thought you had rehearsals.” She said, grabbing a half empty beer and taking a swig.
“Nope.” He answered from where he was half sat on the sofa. “No more rehearsals. No more band. I’m getting me shit together.”
Her eyebrows shot up and Noel swears her eyes started to twinkle. “Really?”
“Yeah, fucking really.” He sat up properly and grabbed her wrist and pulled her closer until she sat on his lap. “It's over. I want to do it right, yeah?” He wrapped his hands around her waist and kissed her. “Focus on us.”
“Yeah?” She giggled, kissing him back and running her hands through his hair. She was just so sweet, his Louise. So gentle and understanding.
“Yeah.” He nodded against her mouth. He touched her thigh and pushed her skirt up, running his hands along and kissing her.
She moaned against his mouth and his hand pushed up further until he could put his fingers over her underwear and feel the wetness there.
“He can have his fucking band, yeah? I don't need it. He doesn't deserve my songs.” He was breathing fast now, grinding his hips up against her.
Her hand froze in his hair. “Oh.” She said, she pulled back and leveled him with a cold and uninterested look. “So you’ve had a row with Liam, then?”
She got up from his lap, taking her warmth and sweetness with her and fixed her skirt. “Keep it down when he comes over. I’m knackered.” She yawned and walked in the direction of the bedroom.
“He’s not coming over.” Noel shouted at her back. “It's over. Swear down.”
“Uh-huh. ‘Course it is. Good night.” She shut the door behind her.
The bedroom door opened a tiny sliver a moment later and a pillow and a blanket were thrown out into the living space, then it was quickly shut again and locked. Alright, then.
How was he in the doghouse even after he told her he wanted to focus on her? On them? What more could she possibly want from him?
He sat there sipping on his beer for a while mulling over his shit day. Band is full of wankers, his girlfriend kind of barely tolerated him these days, and then there's the other usual stuff. Like being skint and Manchester weather and his family.
He didn't have many options for how to salvage the rest of his day. He could get up and hit the pubs, but then he risked running into Liam. He couldn't see him right now, might kill the bastard and that would make his Mam all sad.
He wallowed for a few more hours with the telly droning in the background. He was such an idiot for believing he could get Liam to shape up, that scally boy had nothing on his mind except lager, drugs and sex.
To be fair that was also what was on Noel's mind most of the time but he cared about his music way more. He could be homeless and all alone and it would still feel alright if he had his guitar.
He was down to his last cigarette when he heard the soft knock. First he tried ignoring it but then three more knocks followed, it was a very familiar rhythm against the door to his flat.
Noel contemplated not opening the door for a few more seconds when a few more impatient knocks followed. There was no getting rid of him.
“What.” He said as he opened the door.
Liam was still wearing the same clothes, “You busy?”
“Yeah.” Noel said, he was only peeking from behind the door.
“Alright.” And then he pushed the door open, taking Noel with it.
Noel stumbled back a few steps. “The fuck’s wrong with you? Louise is asleep.”
“How is she asleep, it's not even nine yet.” Liam said as he walked into the flat. “We finished rehearsals without you.”
Noel shut the door and leaned against it, he could see it clearly. How easy it would be to follow Liam to the kitchen and bash his head against one of the marble counter tops.
“Good for you.” He deadpanned.
Liam opened the fridge and pulled out two beers. “Yeah, yeah. It was going brilliantly.” He walked over to where Noel was standing. “But then, Tony started doing this fucking thing like BAH BAH BAH TSS.” He said, waving the beers in his hands wildly like a pair of drumsticks.
“It was mental. We were like that's not how the song goes, and the fucking cunt said ‘it does now’ and then everyone started yelling and it all went to shit.” He handed Noel one of the beers and started digging around in his pocket until he pulled out a soggy looking joint.
He fixed Noel with a hard stare, like he was serious now. “And I was like, fuck, man. Only if our kid was here to set the mad cunt straight. D’you know what I mean?” He lit one end and took a long drag, then he put it to Noel’s lips.
Noel rolled his eyes and took a puff. “Thought it was your band. You set them straight.”
Liam cackled as he walked over to the couch and threw himself carelessly over one end. “Can't even set myself straight, can I?” His mood from earlier today seems to have completely dissipated. It was like that with Liam, one moment he was full of giddy energy and the other he was throwing a tantrum and usually blaming Noel.
Noel took the other end of the couch, “You're an idiot. Can't do nothing without me.” He had to fight the smile tugging at his lips.
Liam shook his head as he took another long puff, “Can't even tie me own shoelaces.” He said with a crooked grin.
Noel turned around to hide his smile in his hand. He couldn't give that to Liam, his ego was already inflated beyond reason. Didn’t need the encouragement.
“Can't have Tony running the show man.” He said, offering Noel the joint again and peering over to get a good look at his face, gauging his reaction.
Noel took it from his hand and had a few puffs, “He’d run you into the ground in days. He's a miracle, that man. The world's first deaf and blind drummer.” Everyone knew Noel relished in any chance to slag Tony off, especially Liam.
Liam giggled and leaned over to take a drag right out of Noel's hand, coughing a little. “So, you're gonna come back and set him straight, yeah?”
Noel rolled his eyes and smiled despite his efforts. “Only ‘cause you’ve no chance otherwise.”
Liam beamed at him and nodded, “We really don’t.”
He turned to stare at the TV screen, barely absorbing anything. “You're a twat.” He said.
Liam laughed and put his arms around Noel’s shoulder and ruffled his hair. “There you go.” He said, smacking a wet kiss on his cheek.
“Fuck off, dickhead.” Noel pushed his face away and Liam laughed as he kept pinching at his sides.
Noel tried to get out away from his assaulting hands and pushed away at his chest, which only spurred Liam on further as he used his size to his advantage and locked Noel’s arms at his side and squeezed his torso. “Can’t do nothing now.” he said with a giggle.
“I'm gonna kill you, bastard.” Noel couldn’t do much except lean down and bite his shoulder which made Liam scream. He started cackling, “Serves you fucking right.”
“Shut up!” Came the loud shout from the direction of the bedroom. Making them both jump and stop their rough housing. They turned to look at each other and had to stifle their laughter, both terrified of the wrath of Louise.
Everything was a bit hazy and too funny for the rest of the night, they kept sharing the joint Liam brought and when that was finished Noel produced his own (much better quality) weed. Liam ended up on the floor and was cleaning off a bag of crisps as Noel lay on his makeshift bed for the night. He was only half listening as Liam rambled, but he kept giggling for some reason.
“Can I stay here for the night?” He asked with a dopey look on his face.
Noel snorted, “Like you didn't come here just to have a place to crash.”
Liam looked up from where he was sprawled on the floor. “Not true!” He kind of rolled over until he was right by Noel's face. “Told you it was shit without you.” He mumbled.
For some reason that was really really funny to Noel in his current state. Liam looked up at him with a curious smile. “What's so funny?”
Noel finally winded down and stretched out on the couch. “You.” He said through his last giggle.
“You think I’m funny?” Liam asked.
“Once in a blue moon, sure.” Noel said, looking up at the ceiling. “You're gonna have to take the floor. She locked me out.”
Liam asked, “Why?” through a poorly held back giggle.
“Fuck knows.” Noel said, “She was tonguing me one minute and then the next I was the worst.” He pulled the blanket up to his chin and closed his eyes.
“Fuck her, man.” He heard Liam say.
“Don't say that.” It wasn't her fault, he could be a cunt sometimes. He wasn't one today though, so maybe fuck her only a little. But he can't say that to Liam, cause he’ll just run with it and be calling her a cunt for the rest of his life.
It was quiet for a moment then he felt hands on the cushion under his head. “Noely. I’ve no blanket.”
“You're wearing a jacket.” He said without opening his eyes.
Liam made a disgruntled noise right next to his ear. “Are you mental? How could I sleep with me feet out in the open? That's scary.”
It was such a Liam thing to think and say. He can't imagine Liam telling that to anyone else though, he'd rather die than let anyone think he's not the most manly nineteen year old to ever walk the streets of Manchester.
“I could barely fit on my own, kid.” It was a last resort, personal space was only a suggestion to Liam. Especially when it came to Noel.
After a moment he felt the blanket getting peeled back as Liam got in next to him, he stretched out along Noel squeezed himself as close as he could. “Move over, I'm about to fall on my arse.”
Noel sighed insufferably and pushed himself further into the back of the couch, turning on his side. He finally opened his eyes and looked at Liam. “Told you there’s no space.”
“Sure there is.” He said as he inched closer and was finally out of danger.
“You're a menace.”
Liam grinned at him, “You’ve said.”
Liam closed his eyes and burrowed further into their now shared pillow, his face only inches away from Noel’s. It was warm under the blanket and even warmer with Liam's added body heat. Noel felt himself suddenly grow more tired.
There was an eyelash stuck to his cheek, he sluggishly reached out and tried to swipe it away. Liam's eyes fluttered open with a curious look.
“Nothing.” Noel whispered. He kept swiping his thumb across Liam’s cheek. He didn't do or say anything, just kept looking back at Noel.
When he got it off he settled back in, he was outright knackered now, he could barely keep his eyes open.
Liam was almost drifting off, just blinking slowly at him. His mouth was slightly open and they were so close together that he was breathing on Noel’s face.
For some reason Noel felt himself get closer, until they were nose to nose. He stretched out his legs and settled in more comfortably, his lids were growing heavier by the second.
They couldn't look at each other without going crossed eyed, so he finally closed his eyes and just breathed. Liam kept huffing wet air against his mouth, steady and slow.
Like he was being pulled by something outside of himself he felt himself inch closer until his mouth was against Liam’s. Not moving, just feeling.
It was kind of nice, Liam copied his unhurried movements and kept breathing slowly, like he was getting pulled under but his curiosity kept him on the surface.
He felt Liam turn his head slightly until he could slot his open mouth softly against Noel’s. It was enough encouragement for Noel to try and press their lips against each other for a moment. Liam hummed and he moved closer and tucked his arm under Noel’s head.
Noel lazily took his bottom lip in his mouth, then he swiped his tongue against it, coaxing Liam’s mouth to open further. Then he slipped his tongue inside, rubbing lazily inside his warm mouth, touching their tongues softly together.
Noel opened his eyes slightly and pulled back, he was still a bit hazy and his insides were burning up. But when his eyes adjusted he saw Liam's soft and relaxed expression, his eyes were fully shut and Noel could tell he was barely present, not as much as Noel was at least.
Noel cupped his cheek and pressed closer, taking his lower lip in his mouth and sucking on it. His heart hammered in his chest and he felt his entire body shaking, but he couldn't stop. He pushed his tongue further in and Liam absently pressed against him until he slid his tongue in Noel's mouth.
Noel made a surprised sound in the back of his throat and turned his face to give Liam more access, he sucked on his tongue and nipped at his lips softly.
They kept languidly moving against each other, Noel chased his tongue and sucked on his lips and Liam responded lazily, but mostly he just let Noel take what he wanted. His eyes were still closed but his arm under Noel’s head kept brushing his hair softly. Noel leaned into the touch and gently bit and sucked on his brother’s lips.
When Liam went still and his breathing became steady and soft. Noel gave his bottom lip one last soft bite and pulled back. His face was peaceful and almost angelic under Noel’s palm, he swiped his thumb across his cheekbone and on his closed lid, touching his soft lashes.
He kissed him again, just a final soft press against his now closed mouth. Liam sighed against him and burrowed further into his space.
Noel settled back in and closed his eyes, head cushioned against Liam’s bicep as he felt the final tugs of sleep pull him finally under.
***
He woke up to the low droning of the TV. When he opened his eyes he was looking at the back of Liam's head, leaning against the couch as he chewed loudly on his cereal. His hair was wet and he was wearing a different shirt. Noel's shirt.
When he felt Noel shift he turned his head with his eyes still on the TV. “Morning,” He said through a mouthful, he was so gross sometimes. “Louise left. She's not a pleasant girl, is she? Not even a good morning my way.”
Noel sat up and smacked the back of his brother's head. “She's a right angel. It takes a lot to see your face first thing in the morning and not be in a sour mood.”
“Ouch.” Liam said halfheartedly, he was chewing loudly and spitting milk everywhere. Noel scrunched his nose in disgust and pushed at his head until he moved out of the way.
“I’m gonna shower. Wash your bowl when you’re done.” He said as he stood up. “and for the love of God go home.”
Liam rolled his eyes and brought the bowl to his lips, drinking the leftover milk messily until it ran down his chin and down his shirt. Noel's shirt. “Aye, aye. Chief.”
It was really impossible to speak to that boy in a civilized manner sometimes, so Noel had to remove himself and head to the bathroom before he did something drastic like wring his neck or break his skull over the coffee table.
Noel walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on, he took off his clothes as he waited for the water to warm up.
He stepped under the spray, the hot water hitting his face was nice. He only had a few beers last night but there was a slight pounding in his head. And his back hurt from sleeping on their old couch, he sat under the spray for a bit until he felt his knotted muscles relax and the throbbing at his temple tamp down.
His hand inched down and palmed his soft prick. It was easier to get it done in the shower, no mess and he could get on with his day, plus Lousie did leave him hanging last night. He started rhythmically stroking himself as he closed his eyes and enjoyed the slow morning.
And then he saw it, an image so bizarre and out of this world. Liam’s face. His little brother Liam. That Liam. Blue eyes half lidded and too close to Noel's face, as Noel inched closer and pressed their lips together. He felt his heart stutter wildly. That's a fucked up image to conjure with his hand on his cock.
He gave up on wanking and grabbed the bottle of shampoo and started lathering his hair. Maybe the weed Liam brought was laced with something and he was still feeling it. He scrubbed at his scalp, feeling a bit more refreshed and awake now that he was getting clean.
He closed his eyes to wash the shampoo off and the image came back. But this time, he felt a warm tongue against his and a hand softly combing his hair. He opened his eyes to chase it away and was immediately attacked by his dandruff shampoo. He wailed and shut his eyes, rubbing the water furiously at his burning eyes.
It made everything so much worse, as the image now played again and again, getting more clear and vivid with every iteration.
When he finally washed off the assaulting chemicals, he opened his eyes blearily and put a hand on the wall to try and steady himself. He was going to throw up. And to make matters worse his treacherous prick was standing at full mast now.
What the fuck. What the fuck. Noel slid down on the tiled floor and sat under the spray, trying to piece it all together. It was so clear in his mind and there was no doubt about it. He kissed Liam.
No, no. That wasn't quite true was it? He made out with Liam. Why would he do that? He wasn’t that out of it. He’d been high on stronger drugs and that never happened. No, he knew what he was doing. What about Liam? Fuck. Liam was such a randy fucker that he probably had no idea it was Noel’s tongue he was sucking on, he was just happy to be there, wasn’t he?
Fuck. Fuck.
Maybe it was like a hallucination then, maybe he finally snapped and went mental. Yeah, that must be it. The pressure of the band and Lousie being pissed at him. That all made sense, didn't it?
Then he closed his eyes and he could see it again, his soft mouth and his pretty eyelashes, he could feel Liam’s cheek under his palm and his warm breath on his face. It definitely wasn't something he could conjure up all on his own.
Noel just kissed his little brother. His little brother that was right outside this door, wearing his clothes and eating his food.
Fuck.