Chapter Text
Chapter 1
Truly the most surprising thing about Wonwoo trying to seduce him is not that it’s working. It’s that it’s happening at all.
By all laws of nature, it shouldn’t be happening. For as long as Mingyu has been aware of Wonwoo’s existence, he has been almost 100% certain that Wonwoo is straight. Sure, Seungkwan does not share his opinion, but Seungkwan has always been rather… optimistic with his assessments. He would much rather be wrong about someone’s sexual orientation than have missed a potential person to flirt with due to an oversight in considering them an impossible candidate to flirt with. He is also not at all troubled by this rather circular argumentation.
Mingyu has always been much more… conservative in that regard. Even if he is attracted to someone, something in him will not let him assume that they could be attracted to him in turn. Seungkwan has called this false modesty ever since Mingyu has told him about it, but not even the assertiveness course Seungkwan has put him through (led by none other than Seungkwan, of course) has changed anything about the way Mingyu feels. He is a humble person. He is also an attractive person, but there is so much more that goes into having a relationship which is why he cannot just go through life assuming mere attraction from his part is enough for a relationship.
Which makes the situation he finds himself in even stranger.
Wonwoo is an attractive person. Mingyu has recognised Wonwoo’s attractiveness as soon as he laid eyes on him – as surely every other human on earth has done too. He has been interested in him from the start too, not that there was any way in which he could have actually done something, but he has had the realisation of being interested which is not an unimpressive realisation for him to have.
So, Mingyu thinks Wonwoo is attractive. He has thought so for a long time. Has he, as Seungkwan would put it, manifested an interest from Wonwoo? Wonwoo has not been interested before. But only Mingyu’s interest alone cannot have brought about a change.
And Mingyu’s interest will definitely not be enough to sustain Wonwoo’s sudden attention. Even if it is in fact genuine attraction, that can only get you so far as well. And what it absolutely won’t be able to do is keep a relationship alive.
Even considering that Mingyu has been wrong with his initial assessment of Wonwoo. It still does not make sense that Wonwoo is seducing him. If this could have ever happened, Mingyu would have automatically assumed the roles would be reversed.
“Mingyu.” Wonwoo is still looking at him with those eyes. “I have the impression that you are not even listening to me.”
“I…”
“Why would your thoughts be far away when I am right here in front of you?”
Four months earlier
“Mingyu!” Seungkwan’s voice is sounding through Mingyu’s hallway in the specific distortion that only intercoms can create.
“That’s not how these things work. You have to announce who you are not who you have come to see.” Mingyu laughs.
“It’s me, your father. Let me in. It’s cold outside.”
Mingyu shakes his head and buzzes Seungkwan upstairs. He is making a show of struggling with the stairs even if it’s only three flights of stairs which is less than if you went anywhere for anything but these kinds of arguments that contain the cold hard truth don’t usually fly with Seungkwan. Also, he loves showing Mingyu just how much he is struggling with the stairs and the old-fashioned ways of Mingyu’s living quarters. The argument of not being able to just instal an elevator on a whim obviously doesn’t fly with Seungkwan either. Mingyu suspects, he would much rather have reason to nag and complain than take the elevator anyways. Seungkwan is unchangeable in that way – charmingly, some might say that don’t actually have to experience his antics in person.
“You are not meant to lie about who you are at an intercom.” Mingyu says as means of welcoming Seungkwan.
“You are not meant to have an intercom.” Seungkwan retorts and kicks his shoes off after strutting past Mingyu with all his 174cm.
“You have one.” Mingyu closes the door and follows Seungkwan into the living room.
“I have a modern system with a camera as all self-respecting citizens of the 21st century do. Your antique answer phone will create problems for you in the future, I am telling you.” To underline his point, Seungkwan flops down onto Mingyu’s sofa and crosses his arms.
“You’ve told me before.”
“And I am still so touched that you listen to me so well.”
“My intercom works perfectly fine.” Mingyu says. “It keeps away unwanted guests.”
“And yet, here I am.”
“You are very self-aware. I give you that.” Mingyu does not manage to supress the laugh, but he does move out of Seungkwan’s range should he have the stupid idea to try and punch him.
“Because I have your written assurance that I am in fact your best friend, I will let that slide.” Seungkwan closes his eyes and leans his head against the wall. Mingyu is touched that Seungkwan chooses to visit him after a long day at his job. Seungkwan is indeed his best friend, and as such, it is Mingyu’s job to ensure that Seungkwan is kept vigilant.
“First of all, you sent that ‘written testimony’ to yourself using my phone.”
“Doesn’t mean it’s not true.” Seungkwan interjects.
“And secondly, that wasn’t for you to let slide. If anything, you shot yourself in the foot there.”
“I will shoot you in the foot if you’re not careful.”
Funny, how a simple phrase can have such a different effect. It’s not nice to hear it uttered at work, but at home coming from Seungkwan, Mingyu can only laugh. That’s probably what the much-propagated work-life-balance is all about.
“That is absolutely not how that saying works.”
“You’re the only one that I know that’s such a pendant with sayings.”
“Pedant.”
To escape Seungkwan’s disgruntled attempts to intimidate Mingyu with flailing his arms about, Mingyu chooses to go into the kitchen to fetch some drinks. Seungkwan is not in the least intimidating – not to anyone, but compared to what Mingyu sees at work, Seungkwan is the epitome of adorable. Seungkwan understandably does not like being told this, so Mingyu avoids having to pretend to be intimidated and rather appease Seungkwan with a watered-down juice.
Another thing Seungkwan does not know. He assumes he is getting the pure juice, but after a full day and night of work for Mingyu, he cannot deal with the hyper Seungkwan that emerges from such an innocent concoction. Alcohol would be less dangerous, and they do usually move on to that after quenching their thirst on juice like the responsible adults they are.
Seungkwan happily accepts the drink and then immediately sends Mingyu back into the kitchen to get him a little snack to go with the drink.
“I should have never told you where I live.” Mingyu collects a bag of peanuts from the counter and silences Seungkwan’s imminent complaint with one look.
He would be lost without Seungkwan adding much needed normality to his life, but even in that, there is a limit to what he can bear. Seungkwan is annoying in a distracting but not infuriating way, so it’s all water under the bridge.
“Mingyu?”
“Yes?”
“Do you know what I think?”
“No.”
“I would have found out your address even if you hadn’t told me.” Seungkwan looks mighty proud when he manages to underline his genius with the peanut he catches with his mouth.
“I am sure you would have.” White lies all the way to colour-ambiguous lies are an everyday matter for Mingyu. Especially with Seungkwan, however, Mingyu is happy to keep away from disclosing the full truth in order not to freak him out. Sure, Mingyu could disappear without a trace, never to be found again. But why should he unbalance Seungkwan with this knowledge?
Mingyu is now stuck where he is and the least he can do is ensure that Seungkwan does not have to suffer or even experience any of the consequences.
“Three years.”
“Sorry?”
“Do you really think that I would not have found out where you lived for three entire years?” Seungkwan is using the slightly high-pitched tone he always employs when he has somehow gotten it into his head that he is being challenged.
“With some asking around, you would have found me.” – because I am not hiding, Mingyu adds in his head.
“Asking around? I would have investigated!”
“And what do you think investigating entails?” Mingyu laughs and throws a peanut for Seungkwan to catch – a tried and tested method of distracting Seungkwan. And that one time they ended up in emergency services because Seungkwan laughed too much and then hyperventilated, thinking the peanut had made its way into his lungs has by now turned into a fun anecdote.
“You would have told me though, right?” Seungkwan is circling his juice glass the way he has seen people in dramas do it with whiskey. Maybe, Mingyu will buy him apple juice so that it looks at least a little authentic.
“What hypothetical situation are we talking about now?”
“Not hypothetical.” Seungkwan says and sits up. “Knowing me for three years, you would have told me where you lived, right?”
“Seungkwan. I did tell you. Within the first year of knowing you.” Mingyu says patiently.
“That’s right I suppose. And you would do it again.”
Arguing with Seungkwan while he is constructing a weird limbo of experienced past and hypothetical scenarios with a dash of future-realism is not a good idea. So Mingyu swallows the comment he was about to make and says: “I would.”
“So would I.” It takes even more effort not to point out that Seungkwan usually tells anyone that as much as hints at the concept of ‘home’ where he lives. It’s not always the full address, but 9 times out of 10, it contains enough information to track him down. In the nicest way possible, it is the only good thing fate has ever accomplished to not make Seungkwan a person of interest to anyone.
“What has your day been like?” Seungkwan asks stretching.
“Yours?” Mingyu likes to listen to Seungkwan’s day first to gauge whether he has to contribute excitement or a simple ‘nothing much’ suffices. Usually, Mingyu’s days are all quite similarly bad, but Mingyu can easily adjust his report to fit into a more conventional conversation.
“Exhausting. I absolutely need a Jeju mandarin right now, or if that’s impossible, we could order something.”
“Same place as Monday?” Mingyu pulls out his phone. He is adapted to Seungkwan’s ordering food game and likes to play along. Every once in a while, Mingyu has a holiday and then enough energy to cook, but ordering food is good enough for him most other days.
“Did your boss say anything about the trip he wanted to send you on?” Seungkwan asks while taking Mingyu’s phone to deal with the order.
“I will have to go. But it’s only two days.” These kinds of versions of the truth are easy to feed to Seungkwan. Mingyu does have to go on a trip, and it will only be two days, and he will have to go because the boss has decided he should.
Seungkwan does not need to know the extend in which Mingyu has less than negative influence over what he is being asked to do. Seungkwan had reacted very uncalm when Mingyu had told him about having his holiday cut short, saying something about reporting to HR. Mingyu could not tell him that a company run solely on intimidation, threats, and in the most dire cases physical violence does not exactly have a HR department. The only ‘human resources’ the boss would understand would be the almost inexhaustible resource of cheap workers he can use and then cast aside.
Mingyu tells Seungkwan the most watered-down version of his job which is a highly efficient way of convincing even himself that it’s not as bad as it is. On good days, this conviction lasts until the next punch to the shoulder, either administered or suffered. On bad days, Mingyu wakes up in the middle of the night, wishing he had never ever set foot into the boss’ office. But idle thoughts have never helped anyone solve anything. Wishing he hadn’t done something is not going to suddenly free him.
And it is true! Absolutely not everything about the job is bad. For starters, he is being paid. Maybe a given for some, but Mingyu can differentiate between paying and none-paying jobs in his past, and the latter are definitely the worse of the two.
And then, interacting with horrible people immediately lets the good people shine even more. Experiencing some of the worst humanity has to offer can still make Mingyu go to sleep thankfully because his private life is free from that kind of person. As far as friends and even family go, he might realistically only claim Seungkwan, but there is also a handful of people he doesn’t mind visiting during his working hours. It has taken some time for them to welcome a debt collector of his calibre with a smile, but with unique cases like Jisoo, Mingyu can even claim to only be a few cups of coffee away from something like friendship!
And even at the company itself, externally hired staff that manage to resist the brainwashing are usually nice. Jihoon managed to get out again – all the better for him. Maybe he did pursue the police career he had been inspired to chase after seeing all the corruption and unfair violence. Mingyu wishes it for him, as much as that also means he should better not run into him again.
Luckily for Mingyu, all Seungkwan had wanted to do for the rest of the evening had been waiting for the food, eating the food, and arguing about the talent of the people in variety show games. Days at the company had been rough the past few days, so Mingyu let Seungkwan do most of the talking. Seungkwan can and frequently does outtalk anyone, but Mingyu happily joins in with the mindless chats on most days. Seungkwan seemed to have bought his excuse of having a lot of things to do at work. He even kindly went off on a tangent on the intricacies of ordering stock for his shop. Mingyu listened to him and tried his best to gradually forget all the things he saw others and himself do that week.
The next morning, Mingyu wakes up with a kindly meant but utterly unhelpful text from Seungkwan, telling him to take it easy and ask his boss for some time off. There are holidays, once in a blue moon, but time off is an utterly foreign concept to the boss. When you’re around, you’re supposed to jump at any summon.
Due to the privileges of being a seasoned worker, Mingyu has slowly but surely outgrown being summoned in the middle of the night, but as he unwillingly put himself into the boss’ good books, he does get called out to big events. Those are without a fault always the worst. Mingyu cannot use his preferred methods of talking, convincing, and persuading and has to resort to a more physical approach. When the boss is watching, nothing else suffices. The only benefit Mingyu has when he does the act himself, is that he can control the level of force that is being used.
Over the years of being punched and being asked to punch people, he has developed a very convincing semi-fake punch. That together with what both Jisoo and Seungkwan on separate occasions have called his calming and trust-inducing eyes usually allows a deal to be struck without any or at least minimal and largely superficial blood loss.
There is no use in complaining about not being able to work somewhere else. Mingyu has to swallow his annoyance or rather spit it out while he is brushing his teeth – that it’s at least no longer part of him. And with a warm coffee, he can infuse some life energy and get started with the day. Sometimes, he has to report later in the evening but today will be a normal day.
As normal as debt collecting with the generous assurance that violence is always an option can be.
It’s a job, and it’s not Mingyu’s fault that he has to work there and that the people have got themselves into that situation. He does usually have sympathy for them, but he has to be careful not to let it affect him too much. If ever was ever to leave this horrid place, he couldn’t be weighed down with all the people he has to leave behind.
It would probably cause a crack in his heart if he ever has to leave Seungkwan. Then again, leaving is not an option. The boss has made that very clear.
Really, cleansing his mind and only thinking the necessary thoughts is the way forward for Mingyu.
The day turns out to be less exhausting but also less enjoyable because Seungkwan is not around. On the weekend, Mingyu forces himself to at least cook a simple stew to bring some of his energy back. When Seungkwan announces himself for Sunday evening, Mingyu even manages to recreate the stew and make sure Seungkwan enjoys a home cooked meal too.
Seungkwan also insists on pouring them both some bear. Nothing to get actually drunk, but enough to feel warm and tipsy. It’s a dangerous game of not allowing Seungkwan too much even within the not quite drunk stage in order not to have to endure his emotional gushing.
“You are the best friend I have ever had.” Seungkwan says, staring intently at Mingyu’s left ear. In a sober state, he has explained that he doesn’t mind being emotional but for the other person’s benefit, he prefers staring somewhere so that they don’t feel too exposed. Mingyu has decided to not disclose whether he believes Seungkwan. In any case, not being directly stared at is a bit of a relief.
“You are my best friend too.” Mingyu answers.
“But I would never stop you from having more friends.”
“Right… Thank you.”
“Unless they’re bad for you.”
“Thank you.” Mingyu has had only a few sips of bear. Enough to make anything Seungkwan says seem hilarious to him.
“I really do love you.” Seungkwan says. “And that despite all your secrets.”
“I don’t have secrets.” Mingyu quickly takes a sip of bear.
“You do. But it doesn’t matter. We’re friends.”
“I don’t have secrets.” Mingyu repeats. He doesn’t want Seungkwan to even think about what he could be hiding. The more Seungkwan doesn’t know, the safer it will be for him.
Seungkwan beams at him. “Liar.” He says and promptly drops his head onto his arms.
“I think it’s time for you to go.”
“You won’t be all bruised tomorrow though, right?” Seungkwan peaks out from under his arm.
“Why would I be?”
“That’s what happened the last time you sent me away at the beginning of the evening.”
Mingyu does constantly fall into the trap of underestimating Seungkwan because he looks adorable with his plump cheeks and easy smile. Instead of only gushing about emotionally when he is drunk, he is talking openly about things he is usually too considerate to bring to Mingyu’s attention.
Seungkwan does not know the full extent of Mingyu’s work and he will never let it get that far – but he does have to admit that Seungkwan knows a whole lot more than Mingyu is honestly comfortable with. Making sure that Seungkwan does not get too drunk is also a safety measure for Mingyu not to figure out exactly how much Seungkwan knows. It’s easier to keep Seungkwan safe when he is not aware how much danger he is in.
“I won’t get hurt.” Mingyu says.
At the time, he didn’t know that would be a lie. It’s not like he intentionally got hurt. So, it is definitely the kind of lie that is acceptable and pardonable. Also, it’s only a bruise on the shin from being kicked in a bit of commotion with the brainless muscle men the boss insisted on sending along to an uncooperative client.
When Mingyu went back at the end of the day, the man explains that he had meant to kick the other two men. Mingyu shares the sentiment and would much rather not have to keep pestering the kind man, so he can genuinely assure him that there are no hard feelings. Also, the bruise is on the shin, so Seungkwan will not have a chance to see it anyways. An airtight white lie – the best kind of lie there is.
The next few days, Mingyu notices that he is being a little paranoid at work and especially when Seungkwan visits him afterwards. He scans the surroundings from his bedroom window without the lights on from the moment Seungkwan sends him a message saying he is on his way until the doorbell rings. The doorbell always scares him which begs the question to be asked if he is that good at scanning the area when he doesn’t even notice Seungkwan approach…
Mingyu does, however, have a very tuned sense for when the boss and his men are around and up to no good. As his senses are not registering any activity from their part, Mingyu decides to give up the monitoring after one week. Seungkwan punching his shoulder because he took so long to answer the doorbell only plays into that decision a little bit.
After the excitement of Seungkwan knowing more than he should but not enough to seriously endanger him dies down, Mingyu manages to have a few weeks of relative calm and ease. The number of bruises stays well under twenty and at the end of the two-week sequence, he is even rewarded with having to call on Jisoo.
The boss does not consider Jisoo uncooperative – which might be one of the only times he displays at least some sort of sense – and due to the boss’ assessment, Mingyu is allowed to go to Jisoo on his own, collect the money, and leave again.
Mingyu is never foolish enough to waste an opportunity to chat with Jisoo. He is not late for the other standing appointment where a full envelop is waiting to be collected, so the boss is none the wiser about the beginnings of a friendship. And that is obviously for the best.
“Mingyu. I was expecting you.” Jisoo manages to make Mingyu’s arrival sound exciting and reason for happiness which never fails to touch Mingyu. All things considered, Jisoo should be fuming whenever someone even loosely connected to the boss shows up in his artsy concept store, and yet, he never fails to greet every person with a smile.
It was all a spot of incredibly bad luck that Jisoo, a person new to the part of town, new to the city, and worse of all, new to the country took the boss’ offer of borrowed money without reading all 36 pages of fine print. The interest rate is abhorrent, not to mention that the boss convinced Jisoo to borrow more money than he needed which means a longer time paying off his debt. Mingyu feels sorry for Jisoo, but he thanks his two and a half lucky stars, that he gets to spend time with Jisoo.
“Take a seat or have a look around. The artist is very talented.” Jisoo smiles and disappears into the back. He is only separated by an open doorway, so Mingyu comfortably enquires after the day he has had while glancing at the artwork.
“That one is called friendship.” Jisoo says making Mingyu jump.
“It’s just two empty Ramen cups, hardly artistic.”
“It made you stop.”
“That’s because I didn’t understand it.”
“I assure you, as much as I understand art, you understand it too. There is no right and wrong, you see.” Jisoo smiles at him.
“So, I can take a picture of a pigeon and title it ‘love’, and you’re going to call that art?”
“Indeed, I will.” Jisoo hooks his arm under Mingyu’s and pulls him towards the back of the store to have their traditional coffee sitting on the chairs that only start feeling comfortable if you continuously tell yourself they are for at least 43 minutes.
“How is that love?”
“A dove would be predictable and the more commonly associated love-bird. That makes the pigeon an even more powerful messenger of love.”
Mingyu drops into his chair and pulls the steaming cup closer in order to have something to hold onto.
“It was a coincidence that I said ’pigeon’.” Mingyu likes challenging Jisoo to these arguably useless debates.
“There is no such thing as coincidences in art.” The debates are less fun if Jisoo strikes gold on a seemingly poetic or philosophic answer.
Jisoo is kind enough to steer the conversation back to the respective days they’ve had. Mingyu is far less filtered with Jisoo than he is with Seungkwan. He does not want to endanger Jisoo either, but he feels like he is in full control of the situation. It makes more sense to tell Jisoo about the other clients, anonymously, of course than it would to lie about what he did all day.
Jisoo knows the area in which he works. And yet, he still likes spending time with Mingyu. He could choose not to spend time with Mingyu – within strictly business reason. He would never have needed to offer him a drink. And yet, he did. And not just once! At least once every week!
“Do you think we are friends?” Mingyu asks, swirling the last sip of coffee around in order not to have to look at Jisoo. He is really only marginally better than Seungkwan and his eye-contact avoiding methods.
“We are, although I am not sure how that’s connected to the optician opening his store in two weeks.” Jisoo tilts his head a little, but there is nothing but genuine warmth and friendliness on his face. Mingyu would love to have that kind of expression too.
“There is no such thing as coincidences in art.” Mingyu grins.
“How right you are.” And with a sage smile, Jisoo clinks their cups. He downs the rest of his drink and makes another coffee for them both. He continues talking about the optician and all the alleged ways in which that is actually a fascinating job while Mingyu slowly allows himself to savour the realisation that he and Jisoo are friends. Not exactly what other people call a work-friend, but at the same time so much more than that too.
The high of having discovered a friendship Mingyu was too insecure to assume could already be reality takes Mingyu through another week. He cannot resist the temptation to pop into Jisoo’s store to say hello at the beginning of the next week, still elated by his discovery.
“You scared me!” Jisoo looks the part.
“Friends do do that.” Mingyu defends himself.
“They do, but not all of them have a powerful hitman potentially three steps behind them.”
“Occupational hazard.” Mingyu grimaces. “I am not actually dangerous, though.”
“I know. Sorry for getting startled. Next time you want to visit me outside your usual rhythm without making me fear I or my luck have seriously messed up, do drop me a message.”
Mingyu apologises some more hundred times and leaves after one cup of coffee and a final assurance that Jisoo got scared but is not actually scared of Mingyu.
Being thrown off course after a simple situation is nothing Mingyu can afford to become a habit. He has had quite enough dare he say emotional turmoil to last him a few weeks at least. Now, it’s time to recreate a semblance of stoic professionalism. That, he has found over involuntary self-experiments, is the state of mind in which all the burdens from work wash off him the most easily.
He will tell himself that nothing exciting is going on and fool his body into regulating the adrenaline he has to deal with. It is not make-believe if you can successfully convince yourself, it’s working.
Another attempted kick to the shin? Probably not directed at him.
Being told to get lost? Appropriate reaction to an unwanted guest, let alone someone that has come only to collect your money.
Running into the front door because it has not been left locked as by the rulebook? Could happen in a royal palace too.
The little irritating moments are not too difficult to deal with. It always takes some initial focus period, but Mingyu is experienced enough to create the necessary mindset.
People welcoming Mingyu with a smile even though they know he has only come to collect their money? A lot more difficult to stomach. They are nothing compared to his absolute final boss which are people that scrape together as much money as they can spare under Mingyu’s watchful eyes and then invite him to share a meal with them. They are not doing this to bribe him. They are simply kind and that in the face of all the hardship they have faced is difficult for Mingyu to bear.
The right hook the notorious drunk lands genuinely feels like a much-needed balance on days like those. Too much good around him will only underline all the bad Mingyu is personally responsible for.
Despite the odds being stacked against him, Mingyu manages to create something that resembles routine and balance. Not even spotting a previously unknown face in the gaggle of delivery drivers that constantly swarm around the head- and only quarters the boss wants to afford to keep throws Mingyu off balance.
He has too strong a mind to be distracted by every handsome face he sees. Delivery drivers are never around to stay for long, anyways. Why would he waste any thought on him? Any more thoughts than he has already had would truly be excessive which is why he decides to stop.
Granted, that doesn’t always work, but one cup of coffee with Jisoo, and Mingyu has fortified his mind of steel and will not be distracted by anything or anyone for the time being.