Chapter Text
“No, I don’t think it’ll work that way –”
“ – Yes, it will. I’ve done all the contingencies and it’s the only way forward –”
“All the contingencies? Sergio, you can’t be serious. No, not all of them. You're only suggesting this because it’s the one that will suit you best. But it will only work in theory. You’re assuming that the police will respond like that, but I don’t think that they will…”
“Raquel, just because you’ve had experience with the police in other situations, doesn’t mean you’ll be able to pre-empt what they’ll do in every scenario –”
“– No, I disagree. But at least I have experience with the police. What do you have? A gold star in being able to read the police handbook?”
And the bickering continued. It had been going on for over twenty minutes with no end in sight. It wasn’t the first time that Sergio and Raquel had gone head-to-head at the front of the classroom either. It was now the fifth day straight that classes for preparing the gang for the Bank of Spain heist had suddenly deviated into a full-blown fight between the two of them.
Sergio, as the Professor, was the absolute leader of the heist, no doubt about that. But even from the very first moment that the gang had arrived at the Monastery, Sergio had made it very clear that Raquel, as Lisbon, was his complete partner in every way.
At first, the gang was a little wary of her, and rightfully so as she was the former-Inspector: their enemy during the previous heist. But after a few days of them getting to know Raquel, they found her to be warm, funny and exceptionally brilliant, and in a weird way, complementing and matching the quirkiness and freak of the Professor perfectly.
There was an energy between Sergio and Raquel that everyone could sense instantly. The chemistry between them was electrifying with their quiet conversations and small, shared smiles, the occasional brush of a hand as they moved side-by-side, and the way they could somehow communicate with each other with just a raise of an eyebrow or an incline of the head. There was no doubt to anyone in the gang just how much they were in love with each other.
And Sergio made her importance known to everyone. During each lesson, Raquel wouldn’t sit with the rest of the gang. No, she had pride of place and would prop herself up the front of the classroom right next to Sergio as he went through the various plans and schemes and often, she ran lessons herself alongside him.
And at first, that was fine; they worked very well together. Until the disagreements began.
It started with an innocent question, before a clarification or suggestion was posed, then an opinion came, with a countering response and very quickly, Sergio and Raquel were debating the plan back and forth, until it was obvious that it was no longer a debate, but an intense argument.
On the first day it happened, their argument had lasted mere minutes before Sergio calmly directed the discussion back onto the plan. But each day following, as they descended into yet another squabble, it lasted longer and longer. And as they argued, both Sergio and Raquel seemed completely oblivious that the rest of the gang was still in the classroom as they went head-to-head.
That day, the quarrelling went on and on, completely unrelenting.
Most of the gang had become bored: Marseille was reading a book, Helsinki and Bogotá were chatting quietly and Denver had fallen asleep with a little bit of drool dripping down his chin. Occasionally he let out a snore.
But others, like Tokyo and Nairobi, were acting like it was the most entertaining thing on earth. They kept stealing glances from each other and smirking as Sergio and Raquel had evolved into snatching pieces of chalk from each other, desperately trying to outline their own points of view as they scrawled rapid notes and diagrams on the blackboard at the front of the room.
However, in complete contrast to the others, Palermo had his head on the desk with his hands over his ears in an attempt to block out the noise, like as if every word uttered was sending stabs of sharp pains throughout his body.
Finally, he snapped. “ENOUGH!” he bellowed, pounding his fists hard on the desk.
Suddenly the room went silent, the bickering stopped and both Sergio and Raquel looked up in bewilderment at abruptly being interrupted, chalk still in-hand and poised up at the blackboard. Denver woke up with a jolt and almost fell off his chair.
“Palermo?” Sergio blinked, looking confused. “Is there a problem?”
Palermo shook his head and let out a condescending laugh. “Is there a problem?” he repeated, scoffing to himself and rolling his eyes. “My god, Professor… Do you even hear yourselves? All the non-stop arguing…”
“We’re not arguing,” Raquel countered immediately.
“No,” Sergio agreed. “We’re uh…” he flurried his hard in the air, then pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose with one finger, “… discussing with er….” he glanced at Raquel for help, but she merely shrugged helplessly, “… um… passion.”
The rest of the gang watched on with amusement as Palermo slowly got to his feet and blew out a long breath. He placed his palms flat on the desk and leant forward. “Discussing with passion?” he repeated, raising his eyebrows. “Is that what you call it?” He shook his head with exasperation. “I think what I’d call it is there is so much sexual tension between you two that at any minute you’ll likely to jump each other’s bones. So, here’s some advice: GO. GET. A. ROOM!”
Sergio blinked again. “Uh… we already have a room,” he stated innocently, sounding perplexed by the suggestion or the insinuation behind it.
“Yeah, well maybe you should go and use it,” Palermo suggested, his tone snappy. “Release some of that pent up energy on each other in ways other than arguing.”
“No way,” interrupted Nairobi, both hands in the air, “if they did that, then we’d have to listen to it.”
“Yeah,” added Tokyo, smirking. “The only thing louder than when they fight, is when they fu-”
“Tokyo.” Sergio’s voice was sharp, instantly cutting her off.
Nairobi and Tokyo exchanged glances, trying not to laugh. Muffled chuckles came from the back of the room. Everyone knew, yet no one had the guts to say it out loud, apart from Tokyo, that is. While Sergio and Raquel were always very discreet when around others, barely touching and keeping all physical contact to a minimum, it had become blatantly obvious during everyone’s first night at the Monastery, with its echoey hallways and bedrooms in close proximity, exactly what Sergio and Raquel liked to do with each other behind closed doors. Many, many pairs of earplugs had been quickly purchased and distributed around the gang the following day just to block out the noise of their illustrious leader’s sexual activity.
Right at that moment, Stockholm returned to the classroom after checking on Cincinnati and she slipped into her chair next to Denver. Seeing Sergio and Raquel practically frozen to the spot at the front of the room with an irate Palermo about to explode, she leant towards Denver and whispered, “what did I miss?”
“Just Palermo roasting the Professor and Lisbon for fighting again,” Denver sniggered softly as Palermo continued his grumbling.
“Look Professor, Lisbon,” Palermo sighed, slowly standing upright. He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration as he moved to the front of the room to join Sergio and Raquel at the blackboard. “There is no doubt that both of you are extremely invested in this heist, especially you, Professor. I mean, this was Andrés’ plan, after all. And there are many parts of the plan that are delicate and require a lot of discussion and thought. But this endless arguing between you two must stop. There’s too much riding on this. How can you both lead the heist from the control centre if you’re fighting all the time?”
“We’re not fighting,” Sergio and Raquel immediately replied in unison, exchanging a quick glance.
Palermo groaned, massaging his temples for a second. “Ok, if you won’t go and bang each other until you can get along and run these lessons without ripping each other to shreds, then I have another suggestion.” He paused dramatically. “A competition.”
“A competition?” Sergio frowned, looking nervously at Raquel. “What sort of competition?”
Palermo inclined his head slightly, as if he was pondering the question. He began to take small, slow steps across the room, pacing back and forth, one finger tapping at his chin as he thought. “A competition to end this fighting once and for all. It’ll be a series of challenges that you’ll compete against each other: the Professor vs Lisbon.” A wave of murmurs and whispers fluttered through the classroom as the rest of the gang remarked and commented upon Palermo’s idea. “You’ll compete until one of you wins overall.”
“And what do we win?” Raquel asked, her interest piqued.
Palermo gave a sly smile. “Well, besides bragging rights, the winner will get to run all the heist lessons on their own for the next week, with the loser sitting at the back of the room silently, not making one single comment.”
At that, there were more whispers and mutterings throughout the classroom as everyone contemplated the very thought of the Professor losing the competition and relinquishing control of the heist to Lisbon. The look on Sergio’s face revealed he was thinking the exact same thing and Raquel looked smug, like she was determined to be the champion and see Sergio suffer from the back of the room.
Sergio glanced from Palermo to Raquel then to the rest of the gang, pondering the high stakes of the competition Palermo was proposing. “And if we refuse to participate in this…” Sergio flurried his hand theatrically, searching for the word he wanted to use, “… uh… circus of a competition?”
Palermo pulled a face and shrugged nonchalantly. He crossed his arms. “Well, I guess, the rest of us will go on strike and refuse to participate in heist lessons.”
Sergio realised he was backed into a corner. He had no choice. They couldn’t stop heist lessons. They had such little time left before D-day, but he also knew deep down that his continued fighting with Raquel over heist plans wasn’t helping either. Over the past few days especially, their bickering had escalated. If he was being honest, he was a little worried and he knew Raquel was too. They always made it up to each other later in bed, but Sergio could recognise now the impact of their squabbling on the rest of the gang. He caught Raquel’s eye, and she gave a little shrug, raising her eyebrows slightly. He knew her well enough to know what she was thinking, and they were in agreement: they somehow had to do this for the sake of the gang and for the sake of each other.
“So how will this work?” Raquel asked.
Palermo tapped his chin again as he thought, the details of his competition plan still coming together. “Ok, how about this: each one of us will come up with some sort of challenge. They will be varied and different, and no doubt interesting. And at the end, the person who has won the most challenges will be the ultimate winner.”
“But there are eight of you?” Raquel frowned, pointing a finger out and wigging it several times towards the gang like she was doing a mental head count. “What if there’s a tie at the end?”
“I won’t participate,” Marseille suddenly piped up from his spot right at the far end of the room. “I’m a pacifist. I don’t want to be a part of pitting the Professor against his girlfriend.”
Palermo nodded. “Ok, with Marseille out, that makes seven of us for seven unique challenges to have a clear winner at the end.”
Sergio took in deep breaths through his nose as he tried to process the entire competition thing in his head. “So,” he began, “what sort of challenges will they be? Because there are things that I won’t do. I won’t participate in any drinking competitions, or… or…” Sergio stammered, beginning to get worked up, “stripping… or… or… kissing anyone, er… apart from Lisbon, that is…”
Everyone burst out laughing. “Keep your shirt on Professor,” Palermo chuckled. “I can assure you that no one wants to see you strip or kiss you, apart from Lisbon, that is.” He snuck a cheeky look at Raquel who was struggling not to laugh herself. “No, these challenges will be appropriate, playful maybe…”
“Like karaoke!” Denver yelled out then laughed raucously.
“Karaoke?” Sergio whispered, going pale.
“What's the matter, Professor?” Raquel giggled. “You once told me you loved karaoke.”
Sergio gritted his teeth. “Umm… I lied.” More laughter throughout the room. “Well, besides the fact that I’m ridiculously uncomfortable about singing in public, or dancing mind you, that challenge would be extremely weighted towards Lisbon. I mean, have you heard her sing? She’s incredible!” he gushed, causing Raquel to blush slightly at the compliment. “Also, karaoke is incredibly subjective,” Sergio continued, rationalising his argument. “It is what people prefer without there being a quantitative measure of success at the end.”
“You mean you’re worried that it’ll turn out to be more of a popularity contest?” Tokyo called out.
“That we might like Lisbon more that you?” Nairobi added playfully. Sergio didn’t respond but the serious grimace on his face told everyone exactly what he was thinking.
“We do like Lisbon more than you,” Tokyo confirmed with a wink. “Despite her dubious background –”
“Hehehe,” Denver laughed gleefully. “We all have dubious backgrounds.” Helsinki pounded the table as he cheered in agreement.
“– she’s fun, smart, a total badass,” Tokyo continued, smiling broadly. “And unlike someone else we know, doesn't walk around like she’s got a stick permanently wedged up her ass.”
At that, the whole room erupted into laughter, including Raquel. Sergio went red and the little vein on his forehead began to pulse. Raquel did feel a little bad for laughing at him too, knowing how sensitive Sergio could be about his gang teasing him from time to time.
Palermo held up both hands. “Ok, ok, peeps. As funny as that is, the Professor has got a point. We need all challenges to be objective, that is, have a determined end point or goal. That way they can’t be perceived to be swayed or decided by people’s opinions.” He glanced around the group. “So, I suppose now we should all get together to work out what these challenges should be.” He inclined his head towards Sergio and Raquel. “Professor, Lisbon, if you don’t mind, we’ll need an hour.”
But Sergio balked immediately. “No, we’re not starting this right now. No. We have serious work to be done on the heist that we can’t put off to play these games.” Sergio gave Palermo a pointed look. “But if you insist on running this competition, you can have tomorrow. That should give you all enough time to uh… prepare. But in the meantime, we need to get back to it. And yes…” He held up one hand in acknowledgement right as Palermo opened his mouth to make a snappy retort. “Lisbon and I will ensure we keep our discussions on task, without arguing.”