Love Spell

by Wandering_star_light

Summary:

“We need a virgin for the love spell to work,” Zhao Yuanzhou says it so casually like they’re discussing the menu for dinner. Not that they ever discuss things like that, fully trusting Ying Lei on this matter, but the Great Demon’s nonchalance is almost contagious. It would have been, if Zhuo Yichen wasn’t feeling his insides grow as cold as the eternal winter he has read about in the scriptures...

Chapter 1

“We need a virgin for the love spell to work,” Zhao Yuanzhou says it so casually, like they’re discussing the menu for dinner. Not that they ever discuss things like that, fully trusting Ying Lei on this matter, but the Great Demon’s nonchalance is almost contagious. It would have been, if Zhuo Yichen wasn’t feeling his insides grow as cold as the eternal winter he has read about in the scriptures that once took over the whole world and nearly drove it to destruction when Tengliu, the goddess of winters and snows, was mourning the death of her beloved, Teng Wengong, who has died of old age and could no longer accompany her. That winter was said to have lasted for a few hundred years, nearly wiping out the whole of humanity along with the Wilderness, until Nuwa took pity on the goddess and, to save both worlds, granted her a boon – she could be reborn as a mortal and meet her beloved one more time, but without remembering him, herself, or their shared past. Tengliu agreed, and thus, the eternal winter ended, resulting in the most beautiful and bountiful spring in the history of humans and demons alike. The scriptures didn’t mention what happened to Tengliu and her husband, but Zhuo Yichen hoped they could meet once again and be together.

He snaps out of the memory when everyone’s eyes turn to Wen Xiao, out of all people. The Goddess, now without the Bai Ze token, which has been recently destroyed, looks overjoyed for some reason, making him suspect that she already knew where all this was going. He could feel her glee bubbling up somewhere deep down inside as if it were his own feeling, but alas, he didn’t share even an ounce of that joy, because he knew what would come next. Or rather, who they will start talking about after that.

“Even if I was strong enough to take part in this, which I’m not…” Wen Xiao says, dusting off some invisible particle from her light-pink sleeves, a colour that she didn’t allow herself to wear during her pre-goddess days, but seemed to enjoy now, even without the Bai Ze token. She looked pretty in pink, and Zhuo Yichen imagined she’d look even more beautiful in red, if that day ever comes, and he’ll be able to witness her getting married. But for now, the closest she had to a love interest was the Great Demon. The very demon that has just informed them that there is a way to support the Wilderness and keep it from crumbling down, along with the human realm, before they find a way to restore the Bai Ze token. And it’s not something he’d easily reserve to if the situation wasn’t already so dreadful.

The love spell.

One that required a virgin.

“… I’m a no-go for this particular, ehm, condition,” Wen Xiao finishes, her eyes sparkling bright like the stars on a beautiful summer night, and it is Ying Lei who covers his mouth shyly, hiding a cute little smile, but then remembers something and quickly puts his hands over Bai Jiu’s ears. Of course, they had to drag everyone into this conversation, and for some reason, Zhuo Yichen had no doubt it was to torture him even more.

“Wen Xiao, I can’t imagine that you would…” Zhao Yuanzhou starts saying, being an example of self-control and carefully adjusted expressions as he’s trying to find the right words for what he’s about to say. That he’s about to say it alone makes Zhuo Yichen’s insides turn from that awful cold to a bright-burning pit of heat. He did not want to hear this, any of it. Yet he knew that Zhao Yuanzhou was right to assume that she had never been with a man. He just didn’t know that she wasn’t all that restricted by societal norms and could enjoy other, gentler company, both in the comfort of a brothel, or simply… in her own bed.

“Do women count?” Wen Xiao says, smiling coyly, but her eyes betray just how much she’s enjoying this conversation. Zhao Yuanzhou’s gaze becomes somewhat sparkly as well, as he finds it in himself to proceed further, looking as impeccable as always, clad in a delicate fur coat, different from the one he was wearing when they first met and started investigating the Ran Yi case, but beautiful nonetheless. The small hall of the Kunlun Mountains residence where they’re sitting right now is chilly, just like the whole place, and even Zhuo Yichen’s icy Bing Yi power doesn’t do much to protect him either from the cold, nor from the dreading feeling of doom that’s creeping in on him as their conversation proceeds further.

“It depends,” Zhao Yuanzhou says courteously, but what he’s saying is the least courteous thing imaginable. They must have agreed to this, both of them, Zhuo Yichen can’t think of another reason this conversation would happen at all. And he was both the main actor and the main audience right now, “On the level of… intimacy,” the Great Demon says, making that dramatic pause to let everyone in the room have a few pictures in their minds about what kinds of intimacy he’s talking about, with a woman or not.

Ying Lei does his best to cover all of Bai Jiu’s head with his palms, but fails miserably as the boy throws his hands off him, hissing irritatingly that he’s a medical practitioner and he knows these things. But he’s such a lovely bright red colour now that Zhuo Yichen has to wonder just how spoiled the kid will become if he stays with them any longer. He doesn’t get to think about that a lot, though, because Wen Xiao darts an especially glaring gaze at Pei Sijing, who’s sitting nearby, clad in a beautiful sky-blue attire with gentle embroidery running along its hem. She raises her eyes to look at Wen Xiao with fondness, but also bewilderment that they would talk about it so openly, now of all times. Wen Xiao doesn’t say it out loud, of course, but Zhuo Yichen knows her well enough to have noticed the two of them getting close, from the very start. Which should have made things weird with Zhao Yuanzhou, but for some reason, it didn’t, only solidifying both of Wen Xiao’s relationships and making her feel more comfortable, safe, and content than she has been in years.

‘That is probably the reason,’ Zhuo Yichen thinks, feeling a pang of his own affection deep down in his chest and deeper still, in his heart, ‘That she’s so comfortable talking about it right now.’ That is probably the reason why she could survive the loss of the Bai Ze token virtually unscathed, although he still hasn’t properly talked to her about it. But she must have discussed it with Zhao Yuanzhou, and most definitely – with Pei Sijing, in the comfortable darkness of her room where no one could disturb them, and the consolation that must have followed. That increasingly intimate one she was mentioning right now. It was probably not the first time, either, judging by how close the two of them have become in the past months, making Zhuo Yichen sigh in relief that she finally had someone other than him to take care of her if something happened. In his line of job, and the way things were unfolding, he didn’t have any illusions about living into old age. Although now, when he was cultivating his Bing Yi power more, using the knowledge granted to him by the Great Demon, those chances were growing steadily day by day.

Still, it was one of their biggest topics for arguments – Zhuo Yichen always insisted on her finding a husband who would take care of her, love her, and indulge her in all those pleasurable things she loved doing so much, be it pretty dresses, books, or adventures in the creepiest nooks of the Tiandu city, and Wen Xiao trying to drag him into one of her favorite brothels to have some fun with the girls. Sometimes, they would make an exchange – he would find a few decent prospects for her and make her go on a date, while she would take him to Tianxiang Pavilion to spend an evening with a bunch of ladies, under her careful supervision (not because she was afraid they’d get handsy, but rather afraid that he’d run away from them). He, in turn, did the same, looking over her date like a hawk watching its prey, noticing each and every detail – both in her demeanor, and in the other man’s. More often than not, he had to agree that the possible future husband was boring as hell, had close to no taste in clothing (not enough to please his and her aesthetic taste, at least), and knew nothing about demons, faeries, and other beasts to support a decent conversation, at least for half an hour. If she was bored even after one date, he had to accept that the possible marriage would turn into a slow-burning torture for all the parties involved. And, frankly speaking, she did like women more than she paid attention to men, he knew that much. That is, until Zhao Yuanzhou stormed into their lives in a cloud of his dark-burning power, looking melancholic one minute, and startingly flirty the next, making for a brilliant verbal sparring partner, and carrying more knowledge about the demon kind and the world in general than any human possibly could. That, and he dressed better than anyone both Wen Xiao and Zhuo Yichen have ever met, and that said something.

In terms of possible prospects, Zhao Yuanzhou could be impeccable, if not for one thing.

Zhuo Yichen has personally promised to kill him. He didn’t specify when, though, and that made him hopeful that all of them could maybe live a few peaceful decades before he had to act on that promise. Li Lun made it impossible, though, and Zhuo Yichen only sighed heavily when the Bai Ze token that connected Wen Xiao and Zhao Yuanzhou was broken, mourning their connection to each other even more than he was mourning her goddesshood (after all, if she became less of a goddess, she could still choose to live a more or less normal life). He was naive, thinking that she ever would, knowing that her curious and adventurous spirit would never let her lead a boring life of a housewife, no matter how spectacular and interesting her husband would be.

Wen Xiao, on the other hand, never lost the hope of turning Zhuo Yichen into a more sensible, if not sensual, man, knowing very well that he had specifically denied himself all kinds of pleasures after his family died. That, and a few other reasons he never mentioned to her, but she knew about them nonetheless – probably from her godfather, or from the gossip that sometimes started circulating around the Demon Hunting Bureau after one of her successful attempts to drag him into a brothel or two. They knew he would never do something like that, simply indulging his most favourite aunt (or whatever she was to him) in exchange for some equally obnoxious favour in return. And finally, she got to know it, too, cornering him only once for one of the most uncomfortable discussions in his life.

She became more careful after that, but didn’t ditch the whole thing altogether, casting him a more than knowing look sometimes when Zhao Yuanzhou was around and flirting like there was no tomorrow. With him, and not with her. Which the Great Demon did more than often and definitely on purpose. Whether it was to mess with Wen Xiao or, more likely, to mess with Zhuo Yichen was still up for debate. He could just be this way with the people he liked, or whatever it was that compelled Zhao Yuanzhou become so playful around both of them, but Zhuo Yichen always had some kind of reaction to that. And whatever it was, be it grumpiness or embarrassment, it sent Zhao Yuanzhou into a fit of glee, making him all smiley and sparkly-eyed like he was finally enjoying his life, if only a little.

That, Zhuo Yichen had to confess to himself, stirred something inside of his heart as well. If not the teasing itself, but the joy it brought the Great Demon, and, consequently, Wen Xiao as well, who seemed to get a kick out of their interactions whenever they both were around. Especially when they were around her, and the Great Demon’s flirtatiousness spread like a fire engulfing everything and everyone around.

Zhuo Yichen lets out a small sigh, having forgotten how to breathe for a while there. Wen Xiao, having cast a loving glance at Pei Sijing, goes back to Zhao Yuanzhou.

“Imagine the utmost level of intimacy and that would be it,” she says sounding a little bit smug as if trying to put a blush on the Great Demon’s cheeks, but all she accomplished was a more red-faced Bai Jiu and one Ying Lei who looks like he would melt through the seat he’s occupying and seep into the depths of the earth just not to hear confessions like this.

“I see,” Zhao Yuanzhou gives a little appreciative nod, acknowledging her sincerity, and glances at Pei Sijing curiously as if wondering when that happened, since he and Wen Xiao were spending most of the time together. But they weren’t together during the nights, so Zhuo Yichen had to speculate that was the time when Wen Xiao and their gorgeous warrior princess got to know each other better. He was actually relieved about that, too. Pei Sijing had a formidable character, a great career ahead of her if she decided to stay at the Demon Hunting Bureau, and was, actually, quite a good prospect for Wen Xiao, unlike all those boring men he made her meet to have those dragged-out, unbearable dates. Most of the time, he had to pretend something urgent was happening at the bureau that demanded her immediate attention, saving both Wen Xiao and himself from the horror of spending even one more minute in that unbearable company. It’s not that they were bad men – some of them were caring and attentive and even affectionate enough to start speaking of marriage the minute they met her, even knowing that she was part of the bureau and would never quit, even after becoming someone’s wife. But they were simply not good enough to stay by her side for years to come. In fact, Zhuo Yichen was starting to think he would never find a man who would tick all the boxes both for him and Wen Xiao, and she wasn’t even that demanding. She just didn’t want to get married, that's all.

At least, before she met Zhao Yuanzhou.

Now Zhuo Yichen could totally see that happen, if not for the entanglement the three of them have created. And now there was also Pei Sijing. And their little family that seemed to function somewhat adequately just the way it was, without those ridiculous human oaths and moving your wife somewhere, taking her from her home to another place. He tried not to think about what would happen if she just left the bureau, having fallen for some guy, so much so that Zhuo Yichen wouldn’t even meet her at work. But that type of marriage, it seems, was now more off the table than ever before.

“Then we’re left with not so many choices,” Zhao Yuanzhou lets out a sigh of his own and darts a speculative gaze at Ying Lei, who suddenly becomes paler than the snow lying on the peaks of the Kunlun Mountains, if not more.

“Oh, don’t look at me, I’m not…” his voice trails off as his discomfort reaches unprecedented levels, making Zhuo Yichen wonder just what this young man, barely a teenager by demonic years, went through to not be suitable for that love spell Zhao Yuanzhou was talking about. Well, the name did imply that whatever needed to be done, it would be done with the Great Demon himself, which could scare even the faintest of hearts, let alone a young demi-god.

Bai Jiu looks quite taken aback, trying to glimpse into Ying Lei’s eyes, but doesn’t manage to. Wen Xiao frowns lightly, not having expected such a turn in the conversation, and it’s Zhao Yuanzhou who distracts everyone from the sudden heaviness that appeared in the air like a dark cloud ready to burst with rain.

“I know you’re not,” he says with incredible gentleness in his voice and looks like he could pet Ying Lei on the head right now, and judging by the state the demi-god was in, he probably should have, “Most demons wouldn’t be suitable. We don’t have the luxury of remaining innocent over the years. The Wilderness… is truly wild,” he lowers his eyes, and before Wen Xiao or anyone else dares to ask a question, he decides to elaborate on the topic, despite the quite visible discomfort it was hiding. If not his own, then Ying Lei’s, and probably of all the people in this room who never actually thought about what it was like to grow up in the Wilderness.

“We are born into this world without family or friends to take care of us. We are born into pure instincts and learn the basics of survival… the hard way,” Zhao Yuanzhou continues, and this time he doesn’t lower his eyes, slowly moving his gaze across the room, as if checking all their reactions, “The young demons are the most vulnerable ones. Long before any of us can take up the human form, we have to fend for ourselves, fighting with those much stronger than we are. Centuries pass before we can cultivate into something less feral and more human-like. And during that time… all kinds of things happen,” Zhao Yuanzhou says, making it hard for Zhuo Yichen to look anywhere but him, a certain vulnerability making him look near irresistible. What he was hinting at… was horrifying on so many levels, and Zhuo Yichen didn’t know if he could even imagine what it was like growing up in that kind of environment. Even if you weren’t quite human yourself, you still could feel pain, and fear, and… be violated, in so many ways. The thought brings a few memories of his own, making him flinch and avert his eyes, unable to look at Zhao Yuanzhou any longer, and that reaction, just like the rest of him, doesn’t go unnoticed.

“I was lucky to be born on the more powerful side of the spectrum. Not all demons are so lucky. If anything, I could’ve become a predator myself…” Something in the way Zhao Yuanzhou says it makes Zhuo Yichen raise his eyes, and the question spills out of his mouth before he can even think or stop himself from uttering it out loud.

“Did you? Become a predator,” he swallows hard, feeling his own gaze burn with emotions he didn’t know were still there. But as much as he wanted to forget, as much as he deemed all those things insignificant in the grander scale of things, some parts of him were still suffering, still felt the abuse, both physical and mental. Being a kid, barely a teenager himself, he knows very well what it is like to be vulnerable and helpless in front of someone with ill intentions. Someone either more powerful than you, or a group of people that found you weird enough to try and do things to you that they’d never do to one of their own. He found out early on what it was like to be different and what people would do, especially young men, to those kinds of creatures. That was one of the reasons he despised the Chongwu Camp so much and was always choosing to catch and protect demons rather than kill them on sight. No matter what sins they committed, they were usually driven by fear or hunger, others were simply poisonous and toxic, unwillingly hurting the humans they came in contact with, yet others were simply young and stupid and didn’t know their own strength or were just playful and didn’t know better than to be scared of humans. Demons weren’t the scariest beasts Zhuo Yichen had met in his life – humans topped even the darkest and broodiest of the demonic kind. Demon’s anger sprouted from their very nature and inability to cope with human emotions, or inability to understand human ethics and morale. Humans, on the other hand, understood everything very well and were brought up knowing good from wrong, yet so often they deliberately chose to cause pain and suffering to those who were weaker than them or somehow smaller or lower than them.

“The Great Demon would never…!” Ying Lei starts saying, snapping out of his own thoughtful state, but Zhao Yuanzhou casts him a warning glance to say no more. Zhuo Yichen makes a mental note to corner the demi-god sometime and interrogate him thoroughly, bribing with some delicious human foods and sweets first.

“I’d be happy to tell Xiao Zhuo-daren all about it… in private,” Zhao Yuanzhou says, looking as chill and unperturbed by the whole topic as if he were a mountain made of ice. He was never cold though, Zhuo Yichen had to admit. Even when Zhao Yuanzhou was lying through his teeth and playing one of his multiple theatrical roles, he was never indifferent, and there was always an emotion attached to them, whether he wanted to or not. In fact, Zhuo Yichen started to suspect that most of the time, the Great Demon wasn’t playing at all. He simply had so many sides and faces to him that they all co-existed in some kind of balance, creating one of the most complex and unpredictable characters Zhuo Yichen has ever met. He was a dangerous man, but also thrilling on so many levels. It seemed that both Zhuo Yichen and Wen Xiao found this trait incredibly appealing, albeit for different reasons. For her, it was about solving a mystery and getting to the very soft core she already knew was there, for she had seen him and known him long before Zhao Yuanzhou came to the Demon Hunting Bureau to become their not-very-trustworthy colleague.

For Zhuo Yichen, Zhao Yuanzhou was a walking and talking answer to some of his biggest questions about himself that he didn’t even know he had. It turned out that he had more hate towards himself than to the demon who had killed his whole family under the influence of the malicious energy. It turned out that he was still hurting even after so many years of loneliness, while he thought that pain had already become his best friend. It turned out he could get attracted to a demon despite making it his life’s choice to avoid all kinds of attraction - both as a punishment to himself and as a means to an end. He has dedicated most of his free time to training and cultivation even before he knew the proper ways to cultivate his power. That, among other things, helped him become a better warrior than anyone in the Demon Hunting Bureau when he barely reached his twenties. A fact that he had pointed out to Wen Xiao on numerous occasions, but that has never been enough for her to leave her attempts at humanizing him or, as she put it, evoking his sensuality that she knew was there. Because, for some reason, it mattered to her, up to the point she tried to bring him out of his emotional slumber herself, thinking it was her duty as his kin to take care of him in all possible ways. That, and she was just a curious girl, more curious than he had ever been. At least, he never let himself be like that, not before certain things happened to him, and most definitely – not after.

Zhuo Yichen blinks at Zhao Yuanzhou, realising his mind has drifted to the memories of the days long gone that would not be appropriate here and now. Not with the discussion they’re having at the moment. But Wen Xiao was important to him on so many levels, and he was important to her, which means her sparking this whole conversation must have that very familiar subtext of her trying to make him bed someone, anyone. Or be bedded by them. That she would think the Great Demon would be a perfectly adequate choice for this was the most appalling part. Zhuo Yichen thinks he misses those days when she would simply drag him to the brothel for that very thing and nearly says it out loud, feeling Zhao Yuanzhou’s gaze become somewhat more prickly and more attentive than ever. His beautiful face doesn’t show too many of his emotions, but there is a hint of amusement in his eyes as Zhao Yuanzhou voices the next most suitable candidate for that spell that could help the Wilderness last a little longer.

“But I’m afraid that leaves us with only one option… Xiao Zhuo-daren,” Zhao Yuanzhou’s gaze goes from a nearly indifferent one to burning with some distant red fires of his own energy, making Zhuo Yichen want to avert his eyes so badly it nearly makes him sneeze. He inhales the chilly air of the small hall they’re sitting in, wishing there was something to distract himself with because the Great Demon is about to burn a hole in him, and Wen Xiao, looking at him almost apologetically, but not quite, doesn’t help one bit. Ying Lei is smiling for some reason, perched close to Bai Jiu and having his palms ready to cover him whole if need be.

“I’m not…” Zhuo Yichen starts saying, inadvertently casting a glance at Wen Xiao, remembering that one night, as well as a few others, when she’s taken it upon herself to awaken his sensuality, not realising back then that it wasn’t, in fact, sleeping, he was just restraining himself – always, no matter what. With her and with anyone else who would so much as glance at him with that specific kind of interest in their eyes. He could ignore most of them, he could even ignore Wen Xiao’s playful advances meant to mess with him at least a little, but something happened to him, to her, and to both of them when Zhao Yuanzhou entered their lives. For some reason, Zhuo Yichen couldn’t ignore his interest, no matter how hard he tried. No matter how unserious Zhao Yuanzhou was, just playful and flirty by his very monkey-like nature. But every time he did it, Zhuo Yichen reacted. If not with words, then with his body – a treacherous blush would paint his cheekbones a lovely rosy hue or a surge of heat would rise up against his best efforts, and he knew that the Great Demon knew. And Wen Xiao knew it as well. And they all were about to rub it all in his face and sprinkle it with salt, and then rub it in some more. He almost hates Wen Xiao when she answers him with a glance so amused it lights up her whole being from within.

“That one time doesn’t count, Xiao Zhuo,” she says with the sweetest little smile on her beautiful face, looking like a goddess, truly, in her gentle pinkish ensemble, with her sleeves being a slightly darker pastel pink colour with gorgeous white embroidery creating a delicate contrast, with pearls adorning the bodice and the hems of the clothing. Her earrings were made with rose quartz that looked lovely on her, complementing both her pale skin and the rosiness of her cheeks, making Zhuo Yichen almost forget that he’s angry at her for bringing this whole thing up, and for orchestrating this meeting. Her gentle touch could be felt even in the smallest details of their gathering – in the way there were no distractions like tea and snacks, in the way they were strategically sitting – Zhuo Yichen facing the Great Demon, her sitting so close to Pei Sijing they were almost touching, and Ying Lei distracting Bai Jiu so the boy doesn’t cling to Zhuo Yichen during such a sensitive discussion. That she would drag Bai Jiu here to witness this was a matter for a long and extensive reprimand later – they could have easily kept him out of this whole thing, saving Zhuo Yichen the embarrassment of discussing his love life in front of a kid he was meant to serve as a good example for.

“That one time…” Zhao Yuanzhou echoes her words, looking at her with raised eyebrows as if wanting her to elaborate, but not quite, but also not letting go of the matter as if startled that she would do something like this, or something at all, with a younger Zhuo Yichen, or even with a more adult one, as if their relationship was nothing like that at all, and Zhuo Yichen knew it wasn’t, but the Great Demon had no right to ask any of them that question. At least, he didn’t before, but obviously things have changed, in the way Wen Xiao playfully glares at the Great Demon, barely containing her amusement, and comes back with the very same line he used to tease Zhuo Yichen.

“I can tell the Great Demon all about it… in private,” she doesn’t even pretend not to enjoy this, making Zhuo Yichen smirk just a little – she still found ways to protect him even when she herself was making it her life’s mission to dig Zhuo Yichen out of the shell he has hidden himself in. As if she had the right to do anything she wanted with him and mock, and make fun, and tease, but if someone else crossed that invisible line – she could turn vicious for Zhuo Yichen, and sometimes even feral, like a lioness protecting her own, but definitely not a cub. They have been many things to each other through the years, but not even once she stepped into faking Zhuo Yichen’s mother for him. She has never been a parental figure, either, even though she sometimes pretended to act like one. She was closer to a sibling than anything else, the same way his brother was, but it was still somehow different, and up to this day, Zhuo Yichen couldn’t put a finger on it and give it a definitive label or name. She was just his Wen Xiao.

His Wen Xiao, who meant a world to him.

His Wen Xia,o who entered the dim-lit, nearly-abandoned residence of the Zhuo family and became a light in the darkness. Both for him and herself, finding a new meaning and a new reason to live, apart from just staying alive.

His Wen Xiao, who knew more about demons than demons themselves, and would fight humans to protect the smaller and gentler ones.

His Wen Xiao, whose taste in women surpassed only her taste in men, as she repeatedly proved by making him meet some of her favorite girls in the Tianxiang Pavilion.

His Wen Xiao, who would creep into his bedroom almost every night, suffering from nightmares, but also knowing just how lonely he has been feeling for years.

Wen Xiao was many things, and the list only grew as the years passed, warming up his heart and saving his soul from falling into complete darkness and despair. So it didn’t really surprise him when this curious and absolutely stunning Wen Xiao sneaked into his room one night, the same way she often did, wearing that incredibly thin night gown and an equally thin silky outer layer to somehow cover it up a bit, but only making it look more scandalizing for some reason. She never cared about it much – that he would see her like that, in fact, she seemed to deliberately dress to impress him, making it a little extra, as if looking for that invisible line that shouldn’t be crossed, and somehow not finding it with him. He rarely said ‘no’ to her. In fact, he was yearning to be there for her – help her, care for her, bring her snacks, light up her lamps when she stayed up late reading, or gently carry her to her room when she fell asleep, so she wouldn’t wake up tired from sleeping in an uncomfortable position.

But that night, he had to say ‘no’ because obviously, there was still a line that he wouldn’t cross, even if she was infinitely curious to find more about all those things that teenage girls were talking about in the privacy of their chambers. Unlike him, she did have friends, although most of them were either younger demons, demonesses, and later, the gorgeous women of various brothels she frequented – because those were the places the female demons would choose the most both as a hiding place and as a dining court. Having those kinds of influences had its consequences, but Wen Xiao was a goddess, and she was fearless and infinitely curious about literally everything. Her body included. And, well, in rare cases, his body as well. As much as he could ignore her watching him train with a certain playful sparkle in her eyes that meant that she was enjoying not just the stances and the beauty of the sword, gleaming beautifully with its bluish light when he managed to wake it up after performing a perfect sequence of moves, he couldn’t ignore her when she was this close to him, in the comfort of his bed that somehow felt like their bed because of how often they spent nights together – he, in his dreamless sleep, she – avoiding the nightmares that haunted her and finding solace in his company. He was formidable from early on, once he stopped wallowing in his grief, or at least, doing less of it as he used to, so she started to rely on him more and more, which made his heart flutter like nothing else in this world.

He would do anything for his vulnerable, pretty Wen Xiao, who stared at him excitedly in the darkness of his room, which was as good as her own by now. He would let her get closer, even though their bodies are pretty much already pressed to each other, because he always hugs her when going to sleep, offering all the comfort he could to protect her from those nightmares she had, wishing he could share his inability to dream with her if only a little. He would let her cup his face, looking mesmerised and thrilled even, feeling a gush of heat running through both their bodies once he realizes what exactly she’s doing because of that hot intent in her eyes, without any fear whatsoever, just endless curiosity bordering on obsession to know everything there is to know and to try everything there is to try.

“Xiao Zhuo,” she whispers, looking so real, and hot, and breathing a little heavier than usual, with her hair down, and ethereal at the same time, reminding him of a fairy or a flower spirit taking up human form, so delicate he infinitely wanted to protect her from all possible harm and grant her whatever she wished for. Even… something like this. At least, that’s what he thought at the time, and she knew it, she felt it, and maybe she, too, felt something along those lines, but in a different way, seeing something in him that was increasingly attractive, and strong, and beautiful, yet oh-so-gentle and in need of protection, as well. She hasn’t heard any rumors back then because there were no people staying in the mansion from the former Demon Hunting Bureau and her godfather didn’t elaborate on the topic of why exactly, apart from obvious reasons, Zhuo Yichen has always preferred the company of trees and flowers and the loneliness of his garden to the bustling beauty of the city life and all those friends he could have made while growing up, but somehow didn’t, and now wasn’t even trying to.

That’s why she doesn’t think twice before pushing forward a little, and then some more, letting their breaths mix, watching him and his reluctance to push her away. He was feeling a weird combination of desire to cross that invisible line and to care for her even more, give her all those things that she wished to explore, and his own inability to do so. Not for the lack of desire, but just because it didn’t feel right. If they do this, he will have to marry her sooner or later, and he never once thought himself a suitable husband for her, even when she made cute little jokes about them being a perfect couple. That has sparked more than a few rumours later about them being childhood sweethearts, but it was different, and he could never explain why, even to himself, let alone to other people, if they dared to ask him. It’s what everyone assumed, and it was easy to simply use that role, not having to dig deeper into it.

She smells of flowers and bath oils, of old books and scriptures, of gentle summer winds and grass and ink she was using to write all the time. He takes in that scent that belongs to her and her only, feeling the gentleness of silk under his fingers where his hand is lying on her shoulder, hugging her, and the heat of the skin that’s underneath the fabric, and feels so much fondness inside that it nearly drowns him, and then both of them when she sees that in his eyes, or maybe feels it as well somehow, or her own type of affection that has always been there in one form or another. So when the kiss happens, it’s not a surprise to him, nor to her, the very gentle pressing of lips, so delicate and precious it nearly makes him dizzy. The closeness, her scent, and his own lack of layers make for a powerful mix, boosting all of his senses, and for some reason, her lips taste sweet, and go from dry and hot to deliciously wet as he makes a little movement with his own as if tasting her like a ripe apricot, or some other equally mouth-watering fruit. Unsurprisingly, she answers, pressing a tad bit forward, her body so soft in his arms, the heat building up slowly, but steadily, her little motion catching his breath and making his heart beat a little faster. Through this heated haze of crossing that one line he promised himself not to cross with her, he knows very well where it will lead them, and his own body reacting to the kiss and the careful touch of her hand to his chest doesn’t help his crumbling composure even one bit. The urge to have, to try what is offered so willingly, which seems to be innate to all men, makes him draw her in tighter into the embrace, deepening the kiss that one bit, making her gasp in surprise, although not an unpleasant one. And that – that is what makes him stop in his tracks, breathing heavily and looking at her with that sliver of fear showing, scared of his own desire and what it would mean if they follow this path, to both of them. He doesn’t want to ruin this, whatever they’re having together. And this will make things awkward for them in the future. She looks at him with the gentleness of a woman rather than a girl exploring both their bodies for the first time, and that look alone is setting him on fire more than he cares to admit.

“So you can feel it. I was afraid you had turned into a block of ice already,” she chuckles, the sound of it feeling delightful to his ears, like a whisper of warm wind in the canopy of trees.

“What made you think I couldn’t?” he has to ask to distract them both from whatever they were doing, to add that bit of clarity and give him time to regain his self-control, which wasn’t easy at all with her body so warm and welcoming next to his. Even if she was willing to explore this a little further, and then some more, he would never forgive himself afterward.

“You never look at girls, no matter how young and pretty, even when I specifically drag you to places where they flock. You also don’t look at pretty young men…” she chuckles, seeing an appalled expression on his face.

“Wen Xiao!” he hisses, turning redder from that assumption alone than from the kiss they’ve just shared, the very first one for him and, probably, for her as well. She actually laughs at that, looking at him fondly, and then at his lips, as if considering continuing what they’ve started.

“What? Demons are very open-minded creatures, and having spent some time in brothels, I know that some humans are, too. Nothing should stop you from exploring what you truly want,” she shares that bit of goddess-like wisdom with him that does have a ring of truth to it, but it’s still something he chooses not to do. Not now, and maybe, not ever. That he indulged her this much was already breaking some of the promises he made to himself, although, in his mind only. To become as strong as he possibly could to protect those who needed it the most – no matter humans or demons. So that the tragedy that has taken away his family and the majority of the Demon Hunting Bureau would never repeat itself, not on his watch. Falling in love and making a family of his own was a weakness he couldn’t afford, that’s why he chose to direct all his attention, and power, and youthful spirit into only one thing – training, cultivating, and learning how to wield that sword of his as best as he could.

“I don’t want that,” he says, sounding stubborn, as if still trying to convince himself. But he has chosen that path, and he did so firmly. Wen Xiao was just… Wen Xiao. And he cared about her more than anyone else in this world. And she made him feel things. But he thought they could make it work, somehow, without him diverting from that warrior path that seemed so natural to him. Even though being with her, like this, seemed somehow very natural as well.

“Some of your body parts would disagree with that statement,” she now looks more playful than ever, lowering her gaze where their bodies are still pressed together so dangerously close, and Zhuo Yichen immediately makes an attempt to pull away, but that fidgeting only makes things worse. He feels his whole face burn with embarrassment, but he makes a conscious effort to raise his eyes to look at her smiling face, also flushed and prettier than ever, with her lips still a little wet from the kiss, and feels an urge to get a taste of that sweetness once more, but has to restrain himself.

“I promised myself… not to engage with anyone… like that,” he confesses to her as carefully as he can, “I chose the path of a warrior. I can’t be distracted by anything. Affection, passion, love… is a vulnerability I can’t afford,” and that is the first time he has ever talked about it to anyone, for there wasn’t really a person before who would care enough to ask him about it. Or try and talk him out of it. She’s looking at him for some time, and her expression goes from playful to more comprehensive and then sad, making Zhuo Yichen regret he said this out loud. Goddess knows, he doesn’t want his own promises and vows to affect anyone but himself, and especially not her, and not in this way.

“That is a very lonely path, Xiao Zhuo. Haven’t you suffered enough?” She moves her hand a little, caressing his face – not to invoke more passion, but with utmost gentleness of a woman that truly cares about her man, no matter what they call each other, and that uncanny relationship of theirs. No matter how young they both are, but they’ve been through so much that they don’t feel all that young anymore, and that bit of warmth they share has been keeping them both afloat for so many years now. He doesn’t want to lose her, and he’s almost sure she doesn’t want to lose him, either. That’s why they need to tread carefully with this, for the consequences of some actions can never be taken back.

“I have. And that’s exactly why I’m doing it. So others don’t have to suffer the same fate,” he says earnestly because this is how he truly feels and what he believes in, and she knows it to be true, having watched him practice day and night and going out only when he absolutely had to or when she dragged him out under this or that pretence, saying she needed company, or protection, or to do some investigation of her own.

“Silly-silly Xiao Zhuo,” she says, her eyes sparkling brightly for some reason, and he can’t really discern the emotion behind them, but he could bet it was similar to the one he was feeling himself, so strong, yet soft, burning bright, and pure, and beautiful beyond words could ever describe, “I could kiss you whole, you know? And never regret it, not today, not in a thousand years,” she confesses and her words do make Zhuo Yichen’s heart miss a few beats, looking in her deep eyes and feeling her magical pull once more, knowing deep down in his heart he would never feel something like this towards any other girl, no matter how pretty.

“I… wouldn’t have regretted it either,” he covers her hand with his, feeling his heart burst out with warmth and sweetness like never before, “I just think… you can do better than me. And that man will treasure you more than anything in this world. I will make sure of it,” he adds, sounding a little menacing and she actually laughs at that, hugging him and putting her head on his shoulder, so that he can kiss her temple as gently and non-suggestively as he can, still feeling some of the arousal roaming around his body.

“I’m a Goddess, and I will never get married, you know,” she says, sounding humorous about the whole thing, but Zhuo Yichen hugs her a little tighter, enjoying their closeness just as it is, without anything extra.

“Nonsense, there is no such rule,” he replies, feeling a different kind of warmth wash over them both now, the one that spoke of intimacy that stemmed from care, and fondness, and admiration, and, yes, the need to have someone brimming with love and care, and tenderness by your side, someone who was healing the majority of your wounds, even those inflicted by yourself, just by staying nearby, or so close that you could hug them and even, sometimes, kiss like this. “I checked,” he adds, to reassure her that he will not drop the marriage topic no matter what. He wanted her to be happy, the happiest woman alive, and if he couldn’t do it, surely there existed a man in this world who was handsome, and smart, and rich, and capable enough to tick all his (and her) boxes.

The memory makes Zhuo Yichen’s cheeks burn hot and steady, and his gaze lights up with more fondness than he cares to reveal in front of everyone, especially that one Great Demon who seemed to be more perceptive than any other creature he has ever met. Zhuo Yichen knew he would use it somehow against him, or her, or them both in the future, if Zhao Yuanzhou realised the amount of affection he was feeling toward Wen Xiao, and those reactions everyone mistook for jealousy actually came from a different place – the one of love and care and devotion. He wanted to protect her, but he could never protect Wen Xiao from herself, so whatever she was feeling toward Zhao Yuanzhou, he gradually accepted it, the same way he had to accept his own quickly developing fondness for the Great Demon that shouldn’t have been there, but was there nonetheless, despite his best efforts not to feel admiration bordering on reverence as he got to know Zhao Yuanzhou more and more. For every wicked and evil thing he had done under the influence of the malicious energy, the Great Demon has done even more good deeds, making small gestures here and there he thought no one would notice, but Zhuo Yichen did, even if he didn’t say anything about it.

Zhao Yuanzhou was a real pain in the ass, metaphorically speaking, but still managed to be there for everyone when they needed it, be it for a talk or for actual protection. There wasn’t a single instance when he wouldn’t rush to Wen Xiao when they were in danger, giving Zhuo Yichen time and space to protect their whole team and fight his own battle without distraction. Not that he has ever considered Wen Xiao one, but he would stay by her side and her side only if it wasn’t for Zhao Yuanzhou becoming her ultimate shield. And that, among other things, made him hopeful. That Zhao Yuanzhou might, in fact, be that someone he has been searching – for her, and in a way, for himself, too, so he doesn’t have to worry about her ending up alone if anything happened to him.

Alas, things were too complicated with the Great Demon. And it seemed that Wen Xiao had pretty much the same thoughts in Zhuo Yichen’s regard, thinking they had finally met someone who could melt Zhuo Yichen’s resolve to maintain his celibacy and no-touch policy, which he was planning to carry on to the end of his days.

“What does this… love spell require one to do?” Zhuo Yichen finds it himself to ask before actually refusing the whole thing. He knew he wouldn’t do it, not for the Wilderness, and not for the human world, at least, that’s what he thinks right now. Once he gets properly appalled by Zhao Yuanzhou’s offer, denying him will be so much easier and wouldn’t make him sound prudish… or scared.

The pause that follows is filled with the sound of the wind gushing outside, playing with snowflakes and pathways and mountain peaks. Zhuo Yichen knows that his cheeks are still burning from the memory of Wen Xiao and catches her delighted gaze that is filled with fondness and care. She set a trap for him, knowing that usually he’d do anything to protect the innocent ones, both demons and humans, but he was adamant about not falling into it, no matter what they said. Zhao Yuanzhou stays silent for some time, looking at Zhuo Yichen attentively as if sensing something, maybe some of his resolve or that embarrassment that he felt about the whole thing, but his eyes are sparkling with something almost carnal, that livens him somehow, adding yet another streak of colour, an emotion that hasn’t been there before, at least, not that Zhuo Yichen has ever noticed it. And definitely not directed at him.

Zhao Yuanzhou moves just a little, his fur coat gently caressed by the wind, and a few of the strands of his hair also get caught up in the movement, distracting Zhuo Yichen for a moment there, as they often did these days. They were just… beautiful, just like the rest of this man who looked more like a deity than a mortal, and was actually closer to one, no matter how human he seemed at first glance. There were always those instances when Zhuo Yichen would catch himself staring at the man as if he was the snow falling, or the river rushing through the field with blooming flowers, or the trickles of water tracing the silhouette of a beautiful statue, or a fresh painting still smelling of ink. Zhao Yuanzhou was many things, and the more Zhuo Yichen looked, the more he noticed, and the more entranced he got with the demon who came seeking death by his hand but was somehow looking like he could change his mind any moment, or maybe, he already had.

And the more time the Great Demon spent with Wen Xiao, the more alive he seemed. Or so Zhuo Yichen thought, watching the other man with the same attentiveness he was watching him. To this day, Wen Xiao was the only person who was allowed to touch Zhuo Yichen. Now, there was also Bai Jiu. And for some reason, unbeknownst to himself, Zhuo Yichen started allowing Zhao Yuanzhou to touch him, too, breaking his firm resolve here and there, when the Great Demon would decide to heal him, or protect him, or feed him some of his energy, or for whatever other reasons that he would ‘accidentally’ brush his fingers against Zhuo Yichen’s or walk by his side maybe a little too close, or sit nearby him as he would sit near Wen Xiao – intimately so. Zhuo Yichen knew he wasn’t the only one watching the Great Demon – sometimes he caught the other man watching him just as much, lost in thought, and other times, with a gaze burning a little too hot, making Zhuo Yichen wonder about what exactly he’s thinking right now, and then being immediately scared to actually find out. He was afraid he might find out sooner rather than later, and once he does, he might actually like it, to the point that his own promises to himself and the relatives he’s lost will not mean all that much to him.

“It’s a love spell. So, naturally, one would need to make love to enforce it,” Zhao Yuanzhou says calmly, and he’s not smiling or being smug as he says it, staying as neutral as a Great Demon possibly could, not giving away even a sliver of emotion, if he had any on the topic.

Zhuo Yichen feels his eyes go wider, noticing Ying Lei covering his face fully, whispering ‘We should not be hearing this,’ under his breath, but alas, it’s too late, they’ve all been dragged into this game the Great Demon was playing, or Wen Xiao, or both of them, he could no longer tell and his brain did short-circuit for a moment there with an implication that he, out of all people, would ever agree to something like this.

“With you,” Zhuo Yichen says, feeling out of breath and slightly lightheaded for some reason, not really sure that such a spell even existed, and if it did, why on earth was he the only one suitable to enforce it all of a sudden? It’s not like they had too many people to choose from, he had to admit, especially with that virginity thing the Great Demon mentioned so casually, but surely this wasn’t the only way to solve their problem with the crumbling Wilderness?

“M-hm,” the Great Demon confirms without words, his gaze now more attentive than ever, his face statuesque and pale in the wintery light of the afternoon sun covered by a thin layer of clouds.

Zhuo Yichen can’t believe just how matter-of-factly the other man is about the whole thing. Or maybe it’s just easy for him? Maybe he wouldn’t care who to bed so it might as well be one Zhuo Yichen, who, for some reason, was suitable for the task, despite the fact that he had actually sworn to kill the man.

“Out of the question. I won’t do it,” Zhuo Yichen says, trying not to sound too hasty, but that’s exactly what he was feeling. Just say ‘no’ before they all can persuade him otherwise, plant that sliver of doubt in him, pushing onto his sense of duty, and making a dozen arguments that might actually change his mind just a little, and then some more.

There’s a reason he remained chaste for so long, and it was partly responsibility, partly punishment, and partly fear. That decision was ridden with so many layers that he himself had almost forgotten why exactly he chose it in the first place. More likely, he simply chose to forget, so he doesn’t get reminded of it every time someone so much as looked at him longingly, let alone touched him in some less-than-appropriate way. That, and some old memories, now bleak and almost meaningless, of an angry crowd, as toxic as young boys could be, who thought it would be funny to check if he was indeed a human or maybe he has already turned into an anomaly, into his own variation of a monster that they desperately wanted to see in him, or in anyone else. In anyone but themselves.

He got beaten that day, unable to defend himself, for he had been avoiding training, finding solace in books, and ancient scrolls, and paintings, and even music more than in the clanking of swords and fighting the demons whom he never felt were the monsters everyone thought they were. Even the ones he met in the chambers of the Demon Hunting Bureau seemed more miserable than anything else, and the more vicious and aggressive ones softened soon enough after he started getting them snacks and something to read, to the appallment of everyone in the bureau but, surprisingly, not his brother, who accepted his soft-heartedness and just asked him to be careful, for many of them were, indeed, feral, and even more of them have, indeed, harmed or killed innocents. For as bad and evil as they were, Zhuo Yichen, for some reason, has always seen those brighter, lighter parts of them that remained unaffected by darkness and managed to pull at those strings, pacifying even the most brutal of creatures they managed to capture. He was more used to dealing with demons than with humans, feeling different from them on all possible levels. And he didn’t want to learn how to wield a sword for he had never had the urge to fight the demon kind or to kill them, thinking he might work in the Archive one day or create a newer, better classification of beasts, and beings, and creatures that willingly shared their stories with him – reacting to that bit of kindness and empathy he showed them. He’s always been like that, a little timid and shy, calm and peaceful, not wanting any conflict with anyone, admiring the nature around him, and the tender beauty of it.

So, he couldn’t defend himself that day. He couldn’t either fight back when they beat him, nor could he protect himself when they stripped him naked to check if all of his bits and pieces were as human-looking as the rest of him. He got punched, and beaten, and groped, and bruised all over his body, but they made sure not to hurt his face, for everyone knew that his brother, as delicate and gentle as he seemed, was able to kill without feeling any remorse whatsoever. And if he found out, he would come for them.

That day, Zhuo Yichen learned that crowds of humans were much scarier than any demon, killing people out of hunger or rage. Or more likely, they were pretty much the same, in the sense that both were acting upon some feral, animalistic urge – to hurt, to dominate, and to feed off the weak. He understood that, in fact, humans and demons weren’t that different after all. He covered up the whole thing, sneaking back home and changing quickly into the robes that were undamaged and unharmed, not bearing a single streak of blood from his wounds. He had to use some powder to cover up the bruises on his neck and hands from when he tried to protect himself, but at least his face was mostly intact. A few days later, he asked his brother to teach him how to wield a sword and held the Cloud Light Sword for the first time in his life, having paid no attention to it whatsoever before the incident. His brother frowned at him, watching his awkward, albeit passionate movements as he was picking up the stances and sequences one by one, remembering them on the go, as if he was born to do it. And in fact, most definitely, he was. His brother got Zhuo Yichen a different sword after that, asking whether he really wanted to follow this path, pretending he didn’t notice how Zhuo Yichen shied away from his touch when he wanted to pat him on the shoulder, looking into his eyes a while longer as if trying to understand something but not questioning his resolve. He was always accepting like that, and he would never deny his little brother anything, if that was something in his power – he’d do it.

“If you want to tell me something… anything at all. I’m always here for you,” he would tell Zhuo Yichen continuously, noticing how the boy started avoiding meeting people and would even stop visiting the big festivals that had crowds gathering to celebrate the coming of spring or the end of the year. Zhuo Yichen didn’t want to burden him with what happened, he just wished, much later, when his brother was no longer there, that he would allow him that touch, and maybe a hug, wished things had been different for them both.

Those memories have almost faded, merely a whisper in the back of his mind, but the habit of keeping his distance from people, any people at all, remained ingrained in him so deeply that he even stopped paying attention to it. For so many years, Wen Xiao has been the only one who ignored this habit of his, knowing that a human being couldn’t and shouldn’t live like that, untouched and uncared for, lonely and desolate to his very core. He didn’t think much of it back then, but now, with the prospect of touching, more touching than he has had in years, he suddenly felt a streak of fear, a rush of panic going through his whole body. The closeness, the baring of flesh, and then those other parts of him – it was too much to think about right now. It made him angry that he was still feeling this way even after so many years, even though Wen Xiao had touched him plenty, even in those ways a woman would touch a man, and he didn’t shy away from that touch at the time. But somehow the thought of closeness, of full-on intimacy that was absolutely a given and had to happen no matter what to make the spell work, frightened him to the very core. And anger arose in response to that fear, to protect himself from looking too closely into it, from re-living whatever happened all those years ago – the helplessness, the fear, the shame, the pain of it all. His heartbeat raises and he notices the Cloud Light Sword pulsating with blue light alarmingly, reacting to his emotions and, more likely, to his fear and the memory of pain from the days long gone.

“Xiao Zhuo, I know you made a promise…” Wen Xiao starts saying and he darts a piercing gaze at her that stops her mid-sentence, letting her know that this is not the time and the place to mention any of that, not in front of everyone, and especially not in front of one Zhao Yuanzhou who is watching him carefully and attentively not missing a single reaction, frown, and heartbeat, so tuned into him that it seemed almost scary. Was the Great Demon actually okay with this offer he made? Was he so willing to save the Wilderness that he’d do anything?

“Don’t,” Zhuo Yichen says abruptly, feeling anger bubbling up inside of him – that she would bring up that topic now, she, out of all people, that they all would gather this meeting that ended up making him feel this way, the people he has grown to trust so much. He knows that it’s not their fault – not the Wilderness that needed saving, and definitely not the things that happened to him when he was barely a teenager himself. But the anger was there, and he used it to protect himself, for this was the only thing that kept him from losing all his cool right now and doing or saying things that he would definitely regret later. Not to her, especially not to her. And even – not to him. And definitely not in front of Bai Jiu and Ying Lei, who are probably seeing him so angry for the first time ever.

“Could it be that Xiao Zhuo-daren has pledged an oath of celibacy?” Zhao Yuanzhou asks slowly, as if perfectly aware of Zhuo Yichen’s state and how explosive he was at this very moment. Or how hurting. Or how scared of the very implication he’d have to get intimately close to someone out of necessity and not because he wished to, out of need, as a sacrifice to save that goddamn world that seemed to spiral out of control all the time.

Zhuo Yichen takes a deep breath and starts circulating his qi through his heart meridians and then slowly expands it to his whole body to calm himself down. His Bing Yi force could do wonders, and it did help him calm down a bit, and then some more. Enough for him to cast a less menacing glance at Wen Xiao, not even clenching his jaw now. Her gaze is way too knowing, but she’s still bent on playing her part, whatever it was, and he knew that the Great Demon would play along no matter what, for he never said ‘no’ to her, at least, Zhuo Yichen has never seen him deny her anything.

“I wasn’t allowed to,” Zhuo Yichen says, looking at Wen Xiao, and a smug little smile lights up her face, making her look incredibly pretty, and making him remember that she does love him, in her own way, even if she chooses some weird ways of showing it. She winks at him and turns to Zhao Yuanzhou with that smile broadening some more.

“I said that if he took that oath, I would take the same one, and we would both end our bloodlines simultaneously. That would have been incredibly romantic,” she beams at Zhao Yuanzhou, and Zhuo Yichen notices Ying Lei peaking from behind the fingers covering his face, not even trying to sneak away at this point, being just as curious as the rest of them, especially when it came to relationships within their little family. Bai Jiu actually frowns upon hearing Wen Xiao’s words and looks comically serious when he opens his mouth.

“Ge, as your doctor, I would insist that you do not ever take an oath like that. Young men of your age need to regularly engage in…” there’s a muffled sound as Ying Lei covers his mouth so firmly that Zhuo Yichen is actually afraid he’d choke the little man. But his remark actually makes him chuckle. That Bai Jiu would worry about his health out of all things, that was really considerate of him. But he was turning red again from all that sex talk, and Zhuo Yichen didn’t blame him, feeling perpetually flushed himself.

“Not a word more, not a word!” Ying Lei whispers to Bai Jiu, making sure that he’s properly silenced and won’t make this whole conversation even more embarrassing than it already was. Pei Sijing coughs gently, averting her gaze from them, and Zhao Yuanzhou utters that cute little ‘oh’ that could mean a million things and then some more. He does look relieved for some reason, as if it mattered if Zhuo Yichen made an oath like that or not. He kind of did – to himself, choosing a very particular path of development, and he would follow it to the best of his capabilities.

“I will make you get married to someone nice,” Zhuo Yichen mutters grumpily, not even trying to not look broody at this point because that’s exactly how he was feeling right now. The breathing and qi circulation helped – the anger turned into irritation, which was much easier to handle, and fear was now no more than just a shadow in the back of his mind. He needed to think clearly and be logical about the whole thing.

“Only after I make you bed someone nice,” Wen Xiao smiles at him broadly and actually laughs at the stunned expression on Zhuo Yichen’s face. He did not expect her to make a confession like this in front of everyone, especially the very person who was proposing that bedding she was talking about right now.

Zhao Yuanzhou coughs delicately as if the whole scene was making him uncomfortable, him, out of all people.

“And they say demons are a frivolous and lewd kind,” he mutters under his breath, shaking his head lightly as if appalled by the whole situation, looking almost hurt that she would say things like that in front of them all, or rather, in front of their baby demons and kids.

“Says the person who’s suggesting to cast a love spell to save both worlds. That involves love-making,” Wen Xiao parries, looking victorious and incredibly pretty with her cheeks flushed from the whole conversation, and her clothes only accentuating that blush. Pei Sijing smiles gently, trying not to look at any of them, probably having grown used to the theatrics of it all, them, when they come together like that, as if they simply couldn’t interact like normal people – it was way too boring, and not only for the Great Demon, but for Wen Xiao as well, and maybe, just maybe, for the rest of them, too.

“Point taken,” Zhao Yuanzhou agrees immediately, cowering before her as he often used to do, letting her win, over and over again, but in a way that would always make her happy. And that, Zhuo Yichen had to admit, was a glaring testament to Zhao Yuanzhou’s affection and ticked more boxes in Zhuo Yichen’s list than he cared to admit. He would never call the Great Demon the best match for Wen Xiao, but he was the exact type of weird and funky and strange that fascinated her the most. And he was delicate and attentive enough to take care of all her needs, even when Zhuo Yichen wasn’t around. And that only added to the predicament he found himself in. Wen Xiao did like Zhao Yuanzhou, and he seemed to like her more than a little in return. How on earth did they end up with the idea of him spending the night with the Great Demon?

“I don’t see how virginity has anything to do with this spell you’re talking about,” Zhuo Yichen has to say because it doesn’t really make sense, and he needs to understand this to properly refuse it, although he had voiced his denial already, “I’m not pure or innocent. I have killed people. I have killed demons. Wen Xiao is a Goddess even without the Bai Ze token and the purest person I’ve ever known. I’m not offering Ying Lei to do this, but even he is more powerful than me right now. I don’t see how I can be suitable for this,” Zhuo Yichen says all this as calmly as he can and looks at Zhao Yuanzhou, who has a somewhat unreadable expression on his face. There is a streak of sadness to him that is almost always there, and sometimes it peeks through, but most of the time he manages to hide it well behind all the acting and courteous smiles and beautiful attires that never once failed to emphasise his ethereal beauty. Zhuo Yichen has to admit that he has never met a man like him and probably never would. And yet the very thought of spending a night with him implied… that Zhuo Yichen might actually like him that way. And not only that, but he might actually experience pleasure for the first time in a long while. Something that he avoided not only to boost his cultivation and training, but also because he knew it would shift his focus, it would mess with his priorities, and the very possibility of it was already doing it to him. Making the whole process unpleasant simply wouldn’t be fair towards this one Great Demon, who seemed to be very capable of punishing himself all the time, too, nonstop, so Zhuo Yichen wouldn’t want to impose even more awkwardness and suffering on him. The best thing would be to avoid it altogether. But there was the pressing matter of the Wilderness falling apart, and that was not something Zhuo Yichen could simply ignore, not after what they’ve said.

“Xiao Zhuo-daren, you’re right about almost everything,” Zhao Yuanzhou confirms his words, “But you are not less strong than Ying Lei and most definitely not less pure than our Lady Goddess here,” he says this with a sincerity and vulnerability that makes Zhuo Yichen freeze in place, forgetting about his own discomfort for a few long moments, feeling that Zhao Yuanzhou isn’t lying right now, “The Bing Yi power is one of the purest forces in the world. That is why the Cloud Light Sword can break through any illusion or spell. No matter what you do, if you do it from your heart, knowing that it’s the right thing to do, you will always remain untainted. And that is the only power that can counterbalance the malicious force I carry inside of me,” the Great Demon proceeds, explaining and, to his horror, Zhuo Yichen finds himself believing the man and feeling his words to be true. He might actually be the best option, the only viable partner to enforce this spell with the Great Demon.

“You may not be strong enough now, but you have the power of your whole bloodline at your feet, one step away from where you are now. And once you tap into it, it will be immense, greater than anything you can imagine right now. The malicious force isn’t creative by its nature, but it can be if it combines with yours. For it is pure and its origin is the heaven realms where Bing Yi was once born as a dragon,” Zhao Yuanzhou finishes, dropping all this information on Zhuo Yichen out of the blue, making him speechless there for a while. But Wen Xiao doesn’t look stunned one bit, which only confirms Zhuo Yichen’s suspicion that they’ve discussed this with Zhao Yuanzhou before arranging this whole meeting. She knew what the Great Demon would ask of him, and she agreed to it. He couldn’t wrap his mind around it, but now wasn’t the time to ask those kinds of uncomfortable questions, at least, not in front of everyone.

“You mean to say… Bing Yi was a demon himself,” Zhuo Yichen says carefully, feeling it deep in his heart that it was true, and he has known this truth for his whole life. Those nightmares that tortured him as a kid weren’t nightmares at all – they were premonitions, memories of the past, a welcoming gift from his ancestor who, for some reason, knew that Zhuo Yichen would be more open to using his powers than anyone else before him. And he would be able to use the Cloud Light Sword to the best of his capabilities.

“Yes,” Zhao Yuanzhou looks at him with so much empathy that it’s nearly unbearable. As if he knows about everything that he’s been through, about the nightmares, and the loneliness, and the feeling that he didn’t belong anywhere, not even inside his own family and lineage, and that angry crowd of kids that seemed to have sensed that he was, indeed, different and came after him, no matter how powerless and non-threatening he was at the time. Zhuo Yichen has to lower his eyes so they don’t see that array of emotions that’s taken over him. Bing Yi actually being a demon… that explained a lot. Like a link that was missing from his life. The one that was drawing him to demons, making it so easy to talk to them, care for them, be with them. And made it so hard to be part of the human crowd. He was neither, really. His body and heart were as human as it was possible, yet his energy belonged to that of the demonkind. And his fate, it seemed, was also entangled with the fates of demons, and beasts, and all kinds of big and small creatures he had to deal with every day, ever since he became the head of the Demon Hunting Bureau and took it upon himself to help Wen Xiao find the Bai Ze token. It was only natural for him… and it made total sense.

“At least a part of you belongs to the Wilderness,” Zhao Yuanzhou says, his voice soft and his gaze even softer, as if he actually understood what Zhuo Yichen was going through right now. Could he, really? Sometimes Zhuo Yichen thought the Great Demon could feel what others were feeling, or was perceptive to an uncanny level. This could be some of his own demonic powers, which were simply his nature. Zhuo Yichen didn’t know, but more often than not, he found himself trusting the other man, the one he had sworn to kill, relaxing around him to the point he almost stopped shying away from his touches, however unwelcome they seemed at first.

“Don’t play the you-have-a-duty-to-protect-the-Wilderness card on me,” Zhuo Yichen raises his eyes to look at Zhao Yuanzhou, feeling that bit of his broodiness spike up again, but it doesn’t seem that he’s playing anything right now. And Zhuo Yichen saying it out loud was a reflection of his own feelings and thoughts, “You signed up for this as a Great Demon, I didn’t. And I’m neither great, nor am I demon, no matter what you say,” he clenches his jaw, feeling his gaze burning with everything that he’s feeling right now, but Zhao Yuanzhou seems to be accepting of that, too, the whole package that’s Zhuo Yichen right now, with his fears and pain and uncertainty and whatever else that he’s not even acknowledging himself right now.

“I’m merely stating a fact. You are free to do with it as you wish,” Zhao Yuanzhou says, sounding mellow and pliant, which was just an illusion, but a very likable one, Zhuo Yichen had to admit. The Great Demon was a truly great actor, he had known it for a long time, and the other men kept on proving it day after day after day. And yet, he was telling the truth, and that, Zhuo Yichen had to admit, did change things.

“Xiao Zhuo,” Wen Xiao gives him a slightly worried look, now, after everything they’ve discussed. He must look quite shaken for her to act like this, but then again, he has every right to be. He has played along enough, that’s why he doesn’t feel a single pang of regret when he gets up, slow and controlled, with all his emotions and even facial expression taken care of, so hopefully they would simply buy it and leave him be.

“I need some time alone,” he says calmly, casting only one single glance at her before he leaves the hall. “Next time you should bring more audience, so more people can enjoy the show,” he adds as a final touch, letting her know he has seen through this scheme, but he’s not mad. At least, not at her specifically, and even not at the Great Demon, who’s grown calm and still as water himself, pretending to be a gorgeous statue.

“I told you it was a bad idea,” he hears Zhao Yuanzhou sigh, but Wen Xiao remains silent for a long while, so Zhuo Yichen doesn’t hear her quiet response: “It actually went better than I expected,” and doesn’t see her thoughtful, even mournful glance that she casts at him as he slowly strides out, anywhere, into the mountains, just to be away from all of them with their weird suggestions, love spells, second-hand embarrassment he gave them, and revelations made during the most uncomfortable times.

 

 

He doesn’t go too far out, but he finds the most desolate spot hidden from outside, almost looking like a small balcony overlooking the valley, with a mountain shading him from one side and a small cave-like spot offering a bit of shelter from the cold wind. He did go out without a warmer cape, not wanting to take turns or let anyone catch up with him, even if they wanted to. He didn’t want to go too far away, either, knowing that they never were fully out of danger, not with Li Lun roaming around and plotting his plots. Zhuo Yichen covers his face with his hands and takes a few slow breaths, but alas, that doesn’t help, no matter how much qi-techniques he’s using to calm himself down. Now, when there was no one around for him to pretend to be all calm and collected, he let himself shudder, not feeling actually cold, but kind of freezing – from the sheer amount of emotions that had arisen and had to be suppressed almost immediately. Anger has never been an issue before, at least, not for a long time. And neither was that incident from his past – it hasn’t been bugging him for years. Even the pain from his brother’s death came gushing like blood from a freshly-opened wound, making Zhuo Yichen wonder, how on earth did they come up with this whole idea? And what was Wen Xiao thinking? That he was a saint, a Buddha reincarnated? He wipes away two stubborn, angry tears, feeling them nearly freeze on his cheeks, and moves himself deeper into the cave. However small, it was giving him shelter, and the view from here was quite spectacular, with the sun still shining brightly over the horizon, but slowly moving towards the mountain peaks, painting everything into different hues of gold.

The sky above his head is limitless, and Zhuo Yichen spends a few minutes just mindlessly watching it, feeling that ocean of emotions inside of him slowly turn from a storm into an almost manageable movement of huge waves. They were still strong, crashing against the shores of his mind and heart, but he could take it now, helping himself with shallow breaths at first, and then with slower and deeper ones, until the blue of the sky filled him up completely, with the cold wind freezing him to the bone, but also calming his burning mind.

If he tried and thought about it out of the box, imagined that it was some other demon and some other descendant of the Bing Yi line that could together save the Wilderness and, ultimately, the human realm as well – what then? Would that idea still seem so wild?

But he wasn’t a different person, and Zhao Yuanzhou was who he was, and Zhuo Yichen’s relatives were dead no matter what, and nothing would ever change that.

Then, there was the physicality of it all that Zhuo Yichen still couldn’t wrap his mind around. It didn’t scare him as a process, but he was frightened of what it might do to him, to them, and later, to the three of them, if he was truthful with himself, at least, while he’s alone and doesn’t need to pretend anything. He’s bad at it, anyway, and most of his emotions and states are easily readable to everyone around him. This time, he did his best to control that outburst, but Wen Xiao knows him better than anyone else. And still she chose to go through with this whole meeting. Zhuo Yichen is afraid that if he allows himself even a moment of weakness, his whole world will come crashing down on him, and he no longer would be able to remain so composed, and cool, and calm, and clear-headed. That if he follows whatever desires that Zhao Yuanzhou inadvertently brought to life by his flirty attention and burning gazes, it will become a disaster. And he couldn’t let himself go like that when they all needed him as collected as ever. And now even the Wilderness demanded his attention, not just the humans and their complicated relationships with demons, as if he didn’t already have a lot on his plate.

Zhuo Yichen sneezes, and puts his arms around him, feeling that even the circulation of his Bing Yi power stopped helping him battle the cold. If anything, it drained him and made him feel sleepy, which really wasn’t a good idea, not in this place, even though it was protected from the wind, but definitely notfrom the cold. And with the evening approaching fast, he might turn into an icicle long before the sunsetcomes. He lets out a sigh, rubbing his hands together, torn between the urge to get back to warmth and enjoy this alone time for some more. He couldn’t meet any of them right now, not the cute Bai Jiu, not the sunny Ying Lei, not the gorgeous Wen Xiao, and especially not the Great Demon, who was somehow oozing confidence and charm even when proposing something as obnoxious as spending a night together, or whatever that love spell implied.

Zhuo Yichen hugs himself, thinking he’d just stay here for a few minutes more, enjoying the tranquillity of this place, perking up his senses just in case there was some danger – not to him, but to the others. But they did have Zhao Yuanzhou with them, and despite being the carrier of the malicious force, he was trustworthy enough to let him look after them for some time. Unbeknownst to himself, he drifts into a dreamless sleep, lulled by the sound of wind caressing the mountain tops and by the low hum of the valley below, feeling it somehow familiar, on a deeper, subliminal level. As if his very soul recognized both the place and the energies, or rather, some part of him that had spent an eternity living in the Wilderness long before both Zhuo Yichen and Zhao Yuanzhou were even born.

He wakes up from someone’s presence and a scared gasp, making him reach for the sword and quickly realising he’s got so cold that he can barely move his limbs. It’s Ying Lei, holding Zhuo Yichen’s warm cape in one hand and a flask in the other. Zhuo Yichen relaxes a bit, feeling the familiar presence that always seemed to be filled with the light of his owner, sparkly and sunny. The sun, he notices, has gone considerably lower, nearly kissing the mountain tops, becoming more and more crimson with each passing minute.

“Did they send you to bribe me?” he manages a smile and coughs lightly, feeling his insides all cold and nearly frozen – and this time for real, unlike during that tense conversation that came rushing back to him the moment he opened his eyes. The solution was still nowhere to be found, but now he was also freezing and feeling almost miserable, but not enough to let it show on his face.

“Zhuo-daren, it took me almost an hour to find you! And I do know your smell pretty well by now,” he lowers himself beside Zhuo Yichen and covers him with a warm cape, worry written all over his face, “The cold winds of Kunlun Mountains are not to be messed with. They are dangerous even for demons if they stay out too long unprotected. You are human, no matter what anyone says,” he takes out a flask and makes sure Zhuo Yichen takes a few sips. The liquid is burning hot, or at least it tastes like that, smelling of strong alcohol infused with some herbs.

“Your eyes…” Ying Lei starts saying, but then shakes his head, deciding against speaking about it, “Your sword was calling out to me, that’s why I managed to find you at all. You found quite a place to mask your scent,” he chuckles, but he’s still frowning, and Zhuo Yichen wonders just how bad he must look right now.

“I made you worry. I’m sorry,” he says, managing a smile, feeling his face has grown a little numb, as well as his limbs. He knew it was dangerous to fall asleep here, but he did it nonetheless. He might be less alright than he thought originally, and Ying Lei was right to go looking for him. As embarrassing as it was, Zhuo Yichen knew when he messed up and could admit his mistakes, once he realised he made them. “I wasn’t… feeling alright. And the sky here was so pretty. I missed this sky,” he says for some reason, although he has never been to the Kunlun Mountains before or to the Wilderness that seemed so close now he could almost feel it in his very core. Or rather, his human heart that could feel the things it wasn’t supposed to. Like a type of nostalgia for the place he has never seen. He didn’t really get to enjoy the place with everything that had happened here not so long ago. And it was stunning, in a beautiful and desolate way that spoke to him on some level, the one that he didn’t know even existed until today.

“Zhuo-daren, about that spell…” he starts saying, but grows quiet, looking at Zhuo Yichen expectantly as if waiting for his permission to proceed. So, he was here to bribe him after all. Zhuo Yichen huffs a little, feeling a little amused with the sheer amount of effort everyone is putting into persuading him, and takes a flask from Ying Lei’s hand for a few more sips of that strong drink he brought with him. He will need a few more minutes to get warm, might as well hear out what the Mountain God has to say.

“Speak up,” he says, wrapping himself in the coat tighter, and Ying Lei sits by his side, shading him from the cold wind, making sure he shares some of his warmth with Zhuo Yichen. He was, indeed, one of the most kind-hearted people, demons, gods, or demi-gods Zhuo Yichen has ever met, and that makes him smile a little, and Ying Lei smiles back at him, probably feeling just as uncomfortable as he is about the whole thing. But he was a demon, and he could help him understand this better, so he could make his decision not based on his own fears and insecurities, but using both his heart and his mind, which did seem to have quite a conflict of interests at this point.

“The Great Demon can’t do this alone, no matter how powerful he is,” Ying Lei looks at Zhuo Yichen with concern, either for the Wilderness or for his half-frozen state, Zhuo Yichen couldn’t really tell. “I’m not telling you what to do. Just so you would understand… spells like these need to be done in pairs, it has been so from the beginning of time. Even the strongest of our kind are not gods, although some come very close to becoming one. I mean, those bigger ones up there,” he gestures up where, supposedly, some other gods and goddesses dwelled, infinitely stronger and more powerful than even the scariest and strongest of demons, “Even the Bai Ze token separated itself into two halves,” Ying Lei continues, but his frown deepens for some reason while he continues watching Zhuo Yichen, who actually feels like he might start moving soon, that drink slowly bringing him back to life, along with the warmth of his cape.

“It is about balance. The Great Demon’s force is not life-giving in its nature, but it could be when paired with a good-enough intent. The Bai Ze token could channel that power and make it do something good. The Great Demon himself does it all the time, because of… of his good heart, he can do that,” Ying Lei averts his gaze, but only for a while as if saying all this is somehow difficult for him and Zhuo Yichen still doesn’t understand what he’s getting at, “The Bai Ze power is light and pureness itself, it’s unconditional love, that’s why it can counterbalance the Great Demon’s malicious energy without getting devoured,” he’s searching Zhuo Yichen’s face for some kind of reaction or understanding, but he can only come up with one thing, which makes him frown immediately.

“Are you saying that the Bing Yi force won’t do? That it’s not divine enough to work?” and there he was thinking that it was only his personal issues that were standing in the way and everything would click and work like a charm as soon as… if he agreed to perform this spell, whatever it was.

“It is divine enough. But it’s a binding and bonding spell, and you have to be open to the other person enough… What I’m saying is that if you still hate the Great Demon, it won’t work even if you agree to it just to save the Wilderness or the human realm. Technically, you could try it, but the powers simply won’t merge and magic… won’t happen,” he lets out a sigh, looking away, giving Zhuo Yichen some time to process it. That… actually made total sense, and he doesn’t even feel too weird that it’s Ying Lei who’s telling him this, even if they did send him to do this specifically, he appreciated the gesture.

“Thank you, Little Mountain God,” Zhuo Yichen says, feeling fond of the guy who has never been anything but helpful – to all of them, and openly so, “This… does clarify things a bit.” He’s still not sure what it actually means that Zhao Yuanzhou would even suggest it to him in the first place. Whether Zhuo Yichen agreed to enforce the spell or not, Zhao Yuanzhou had to be on board with the whole thing. And not simply agree to it, but feel that he can pull it off. That binding-bonding-and merging of forces thing Ying Lei was talking about, looking so strained for some reason.

But that would also mean… Zhuo Yichen swallows hard. That would mean that the Great Demon at least likes him enough to be able to perform such a spell. And he still doesn’t know what he himself feels about that.

“They told me not to bother you with such details. Like, if you refuse - it wouldn’t even matter, and if you agree, we could discuss it further. But I think… It’s important that you know it from the start. That you are… important. And not just as a means to an end,” he mumbles, avoiding looking at Zhuo Yichen for a few long minutes, while the other man ponders over everything he has said. Zhao Yuanzhou was important to him, too, he knew that much. But could he be open and forgiving enough to actually make things work – between them and with the spell? Because it seemed somehow connected now, the way he felt about the Great Demon, and the success of the whole thing, if he even allows himself to think about doing it.

When Ying Lei raises his eyes back at him, there is again worry on his face.

“Zhuo-daren… your eyes are glowing,” he says slowly, like it was something dangerous, and Zhuo Yichen blinks at him, not feeling any different, just a little tired and sleepy from the cold.

“I was circulating Bing Yi force through my meridians… must have overdone it. Don’t worry, I feel fine,” he says, and makes an attempt to get up, realising that it has started getting dark and no matter how grumpy he was or startled with the whole thing, he didn’t want Wen Xiao to get worried or… anyone else for that matter. He’s swaying a little as he stands, but other than that, he can move around pretty decently. Zhuo Yichen stretches out his hand to Ying Lei to help him get up, and he carefully takes it as if not sure that Zhuo Yichen is strong enough right now, and it is he who should be offered a helping hand, a warm coat, and a bottle of warming-up drink.

“Come, let’s go home,” Zhuo Yichen says, smiling, feeling Ying Lei’s confusion like it is his own. He did overuse the Bing Yi power, feeling a little oversensitive, or maybe it was the drink that heightened his perception and expanded it a little bit. Or maybe it was the freezing cold of the Kunlun Mountains, he couldn’t really tell. But the palm in his hand is warm, and Ying Lei feels like one of his own, a part of their family already, no matter what he decides to do next. No one would blame him if he decided to stay on the mountain and accept his role as a god here, but they would be more than happy if he continued being their cook at the Demon Hunting Bureau, bringing his light and shine wherever he goes and whatever he does. And it was in the darker moments like this that one could really appreciate the light he was carrying around, shining like a small sun, ready to give it to anyone in need.

“Where is home, Zhuo-daren?” he asks with a slightly strained voice as if that question has been bothering him for quite some time now, being led by Zhuo Yichen back to the chambers of the Kunlun Mountains as if it wasn’t the place where he had spent all his childhood. Sometimes, we need to be led back home. Sometimes it’s hard to do it on your own. Zhuo Yichen stops only for a moment, feeling slightly lightheaded, but also somehow clear-minded, at least, a little more than before.

“Home is where you make it, Little Mountain God,” Zhuo Yichen smiles at him, feeling the darkness creeping in, with the sky now being a dark-cherry red on one side, and a gorgeous oceanic blue on the other, with a slice of the moon already up and shining delicately onto the mountain peaks. He can still make out the path, though, and he knows they’re walking in the right direction as if something was guiding him from within. “It’s also the people who make it warm and welcoming. Who make you want to come back to them no matter what. So it may not be even one place,” he adds, knowing it to be true, for he, as well as Ying Lei, has suddenly found home in that bunch of people that have gathered by some weird quirk of fate and decided to stick together for some time. And he decided to stick with them, no matter what. Wen Xiao used to be his only home, and he… wasn’t really a home to anyone before that. Now he was carefully guiding Ying Lei by the hand, navigating the treacherous mountain paths in the darkness, feeling absolutely confident that he would find a way, and when he does, there will be warmth there, and maybe a cup of wine or a bowl of tea, and maybe a smile. He actually missed Wen Xiao, although it’s been just half a day. And, if he was absolutely truthful with himself, he also missed that Great Demon that was more of a pain in the ass than anything else, but he had a very calming presence to him, one that felt supportive even when they quarrelled. Even during that talk in the morning, he was nothing but calm personified, like a gentle ocean slowly moving its waves all around them, not a single sign of dissatisfaction or disappointment, no matter what happened. Just full acceptance and understanding. Zhuo Yichen has never met either people or demons like that, however old and wise. He was starting to think that he might never meet someone like him in the future, and this here was all that they had.