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When his favorite human has to go away, he places Eagly in the care of the mean one. Whether due to ignorance or misguided trust, Eagly doesn't know, but he hopes Chris comes back soon. Eagly doesn't like the mean one or how he treats his favorite human, and he makes sure to show this by biting him whenever possible.
He might have realized this would backfire on him, but it shouldn't be his fault that humans are untrainable. If the mean one would just learn his lesson (and let Eagly raid the fridge for a midnight snack now and then) they wouldn't have to repeat it so often. The mean one throws a cloth over him, grabs him roughly, and forces him into the dark, empty room where only dust and metal things and creepy crawlies live. Eagly lashes out with his talons, snaps shut his beak and rips the cloth, but no luck. No escape. He won't be seeing his favorite in a long, long time.
But he waits. And, because he is no ordinary eagle but the lord of his kind, the primal eagle, he can endure without suffering what might kill a lesser eagle. The spell in the dusty room is unpleasant, but his wings do not ache with lack of use, and he does not go hungry despite the irregular feeding schedule. The mean one is doing it on purpose, Eagly thinks, to get back at his favorite human for some petty human reason.
Well. That's too fucking bad, then. He's not going anywhere.
When the big, loud, door opens, swirling around the musty air, the light is almost blinding, but Eagly would know that silhouette anywhere. His favorite human runs over to him enthusiastically, and Eagly returns the human gesture of affection he has learned makes his favorite happy. The mean one makes an irritated sound that Eagly can't be bothered to bite him for right now. The most important thing is right in front of him.
"You're lookin' good, buddy. Dad musta taken good care of you. I knew he would." Eagly chirps back sarcastically, not that Chris would pick up on it. There's only so much pointing out the obvious he can do, but he has to admit that his favorite's obliviousness is endearing in its own way. He loves Eagly without pretention, even though he thinks Eagly is an ordinary eagle.
They're living in the mean one's house, now. There is something satisfying about this to Eagly. His enemy's territory is his territory now. For some reason, this does not give his favorite human the same satisfaction. He looks very sad, too often, even when Eagly wraps his wings around Chris's shoulder and preens his hair and brings him small, dead things to snack on.
Maybe there are human things Eagly is too stupid for, too. That thought makes him want to hunt things, to spill blood and cow competition and to prove that in eagle matters at least, he is more than capable.
Luckily, there are more humans Eagly can call his own, to pick up the slack. He can't say he cares to spend as much time with them as Chris does, but he can tolerate them so long as they don't get in his way. Or try to pet him. He's a primal eagle, not some lapdog. If his favorite spends a little time each day, straightening errant feathers, that's their business.
Today, the smart one is here. She's the smart one not because she is as intelligent as Eagly but because she is the least stupid of his humans. She knows better than Eagly how to change the stuck into motion, how to shake her favorite out of stillness and sorrow. She has fight in her, but not overmuch (like his favorite and the scary one and the ridiculous one) or too little (like the cowardly one.)
She and Chris are eating human food at the table nearest the fridge, and she wisely does not try to stop Eagly from picking shrimp out of the small white box at the periphery of their kill. That is another reason she's the smartest. She knows who takes orders from who. Eagly's not sure how they do it, or why, when swallowing things raw and wriggling is a lot less effort, but he's not complaining about the things humans put their kills through before eating them. There's no food like it in the rivers or the underbrush.
His favorite spills something on "his favorite shirt of all time" and rushes away to go salvage it, yelling all the way dramatically. Eagly watches out of the corner of his eye as Adebayo rolls her eyes and then tilts her head to the side, considering Eagly perched on a chair. He tilts his head back. Is she going to try and touch his head feathers again?
"Y'know, Eagly— ah shit, this is stupid," she whispers, frowning. "But I gotta tell you, you really changed my life. I don't think I ever believed in miracles before I saw you give Chris that hug in the vet's office, so. Thanks, or whatever. You're just a regular ol' eagle, so no way you can fuckin' understand me, but still." As she keeps talking, she leans in closer, but then his favorite human makes a loud thumping noise somewhere in the back of their nest, and she jumps, startling away. "You okay Chris?"
"Yeah, bumped into the dresser. I don't think the sweet and sour sauce is gonna stain."
"Great! You better get back here before Eagly finishes your food."
Eagly noses through the fiddly whitish bits he doesn't bother eating for more shrimp. Bold of his favorite to think this is his food and not Eagly's.
Eagly cannot believe the audacity of these humans. They come into his territory, mess with his things, try to bring him down with their fast projectiles, and call him a duck for salmon's sake. He is fiercely joyful as he rips these unprepared fools to pieces for daring to mess with his and Chris's nest. It's not worth calling the others over these buffoons. He can handle it himself. When he gets back, his favorite one will be proud, will run a finger over the smooth top of his beak and feed him bologna.
When he gets back, his favorite one does not even notice until the morning, and then they have to make a quick escape. Typical.
He and Chris have been separated before. They have been separated for a long time. This time is different. He's heard what his other humans have been saying, and this time he and his favorite are separated on purpose. His favorite does not want him anymore, does not want anyone anymore.
Hunting does not make it better. Biting the cowardly one does not make it better. Shrieking at the open air as the world rushes past does not make it better. He tries to hide from it. The cowardly one always finds him. There are only so many places to hide, and Economos is patient.
"C'mon, Eagly. I have a worm for you." Eagly whistles sullenly and doesn't turn around from the corner he's put himself in. He doesn't like worms, anyway. "Eagly, please get out of the cupboard. If you don't eat something and then you get eagle anorexia, Chris is gonna kill me."
The mention of his favorite human makes him feel worse, but the quavery sound in the cowardly one's voice that he's trying very hard to push down gets him to shuffle out face his human. Oh, those aren't really worms, they're the long thin foods. Eagly likes those. That cheers him up enough to snap at the one in Economos's hand.
"Oh thank fuck. There's no way I could forcefeed you, I saw what you did to those ARGUS agents." Eagly squawks in agreement and nudges the cowardly one's hand towards the bowl of noodles. "Alright, alright, I got the message. For an eagle, you sure are articulate." If Eagly could roll his eyes, he would.
"Are you sure he's just a normal eagle? Not like, a magical eagle, or a hyper-intelligent one or something?" The watchful one, Bordeaux, is staring at him not unlike the smart one does sometimes.
"No, he's just an eagle," the smart one replies absentmindedly. She's too busy with her boring glowing rectangle.
"He eats junk food, uses door handles, and gives people hugs."
"What do you mean?" the ridiculous one replies. "The number one fact about eagles is that they do all those things. It's an eagle requirement."
"No it's not," the scary one sighs, equally distracted by her glowing rectangle. Eagly really doesn't get the appeal of these, and he's tried.
The cowardly one glances over at him."Well, that fuckin' eagle hunter guy, Red St. Wild, he did say Eagly was a primal eagle." Eagly remembers him, remembers the way he screamed as he and his subjects tore little chewy pieces off him. He will bother not one more bird ever again.
"A what?" His favorite human walks in from the bathroom. For some reason, they don't shit anywhere they please. It's unneccessarily prissy of them.
"Yeah, he was raving about it after I pushed him— I mean after he fell down on that rock."
"How's a primal eagle different from a normal eagle?"
"I don't know man, it's probably some more Native American shit he appropriated."
At this point, Eagly is fed up. He spreads his wings and peals to get everyone's attention, and it works. They all turn to him sharply. A few of them startle.
"What's wrong, Eagly?" Chris asks. "Wait. Are you— are you actually the primal eagle?" Eagly screams again, and every jaw in the room is on the floor.
His favorite human jumps into the air, the way he usually only does when there are no other humans around, but this time he is too excited, and he forgets himself. "This is so fucking cool!" He bounds over to Eagly and smooths his head feathers with two careful fingers. He is always careful with Eagly.
"Adrian, you're in charge of primal eagle facts."
"I'm on it! Eagly, I am going to know everything there is to know about you."
The scary one plants her face into her small, personal table. "Fleury, do not encourage him."
"Did you know primal eagles can breathe fire and turn people into snakes?"
"Adrian, are you looking at fucking Yahoo answers?"
Undoubtedly, his humans are idiots, but he loves them all the same.