Chapter Text
Jalala woke up with a jolt and sat up from what looked like a wooden bed. She looked around her surroundings but couldn’t find much since her space is covered by curtains, dividing the space in the big room she was in. On her right was a bedside table with some flowers and a get well soon card, signed by Rinor. Right, she was traveling with Rinor.
Before she could get out of bed and seek the blue skunk, the said skunk peeked her head through the curtains, making the poor panda yelp in surprise. “Jalala! You are awake! How are you feeling?” She entered her space and immediately took a seat on the bed beside her feet.
Her body felt sore and her head hurt from an impact but overall, she felt oddly fine. Her head and right arm are wrapped in bandages, but she didn’t feel anything broken. “I’m fine…what happened?”
“Man, that must have hurt if you don’t remember anything. But we were in a cave and there was this big ass dude who grabbed us and wanted to sacrifice us in the name of bishop Shamura. Lucky us we got saved by the Beast!” Rinor looked too enthusiastic talking about a ‘Beast’ saving them.
Jalala instinctively pulled her covers up to her face. “Are you talking about The Beast that you told me in the beginning???”, “Yes and they are going to eat you.” The skunk made a gesture with her hands, showing her little claws. Jalala teared up and quickly curled in on herself, making Rinor laugh. “I’m joking! The Beast is actually nice and guess what? We are in Paradise! Apparently, they are the leader and God of this place.” The small Panda only sniffed and looked at her with wide teary eyes. “Aaaaand…” Rinor got off her bed and pulled the curtains apart to reveal Jalala’s brother, whom she was looking for from the start.
Jalala teared up again at the sight of him smiling at her. “Jalala, you made it! I am so glad The Lamb found you, I was getting worried when you didn’t reply to my letter, so I asked them to look for you.”, “Yarlen…” She sniffed and opened her arms for him to give her a bear hug. (pun intended)
“The Lamb…” she started and let go of him and sniffs again. “Who is that?” She vaguely remembered red eyes and horns before she passed out when she fell from her captor’s hands. “They are the one who saved you two and brought you here in Paradise. They have a name but nobody knows it. The first time I asked why people call them The Lamb or Leader they only said they prefer to be called that. And because they are the God of Death and have other titles like The Beast, a lot of people respect or fear them, so they don’t really question it.” Yarlen shrugged then suddenly took Jalala’s hands.
“Come, I want to show you and your friend around!” Before she could say anything else, he dragged her out of the bed and exited the area with Rinor following behind happily. From what she saw while passing, she was resting in a clinic.
Jalala squinted at the sudden brightness hitting her until her eyes adjusted, revealing a busy village. Her mouth dropped slightly at the sight of houses, big and small, standing in a fashionable order. There are small buildings labeled Carpentry, Smith, Tailor, Bar and there was an outside kitchen as well. Those were things that she had never seen before, an intact village full of life.
She and Yarlen had been running away and looking for shelter since they were cubs. Just like the Land of Old Faith, their homeland was ruled by cruel leaders, and they had been at constant war. One day, Yarlen made the decision to leave their home by boat and promised her that he would send her letters should he find a currier. His last letter was about Paradise and that she should look for him there. With Rinor’s help, she finally got to the destination.
“The Lamb isn’t here yet and their disciples are quiet busy with an upcoming festivity so let me introduce you to The Cult of The Lamb.” Yarlen posed dramatically in front of them, making Rinor snicker beside her and a few folks look at him weirdly before continuing with their day. “Here is how it works.” He continued to walk and the two followed him suite. “If you want to live here you have to do some work. You can either, work as a tailor, a nurse, farmer, cook or you can join the prayer group. That also counts as work. I doubt you want to be a smith or anything like that.” He laughs and stops in front of a big statue of a sheep. It was grand, the sheep’s arms were outstretched in a welcome, the golden bell hanging from the collar and the halo behind their back shined in the sunlight. They ignore the suspicious liquid coming out of its eyes. “This is The Lamb’s shrine! This is where the prayer group prays throughout the day.”
“Why do they need a prayer group?” Jalala asked but didn’t meet either of their eyes, instead it was fixated on the creepy statue. “To worship them of course. They are our God after all who provides us…this!” Yarlen motioned to basically everything.
“Who is that?” Rinor suddenly pointed. Jalala’s eyes left the statue and followed to where she was pointing. A cat in white and red robes with their hood up and a veil covering their face, suspicious. She watched them converse with someone until the cat thunked the person on the head with their long wooden cane
Jalala tensed when the cat turned his gaze to her, making her look away and back to her brother. “That is sir Narinder, right hand and husband of The Lamb. Do be aware that he is blind and don’t go sneaking up on him, he will end up attacking you. Is the warning that The Lamb gave me when I first came here.”
“T-Then how did he know that I was looking at him? He just turned to look at me…” She looked back and immediately looked away when she saw him still staring at her. “Oh, he does that sometimes. You know, cat senses or what other cats told me. He can feel when someone is staring-“
“Or feel when someone’s devotion is wavering.” The scream Jalala and Rinor let out were short but loud enough for the people around them to stop and turn their heads. The said cat was suddenly standing behind them, expression hidden behind his veil, ears pinned back from their screaming and tail swishing behind him. The two quietly apologized when they noticed his discomfort and found the space behind Yarlen a little comfier.
Behind Narinder, Jalala saw a sheep running up to them in a panic before coming to a stop beside him, panting. “Hi, sorry I had to break off a fight before it gets bad.” They laughed nervously. Her eyes glanced at the way The Lamb held onto the cat and noticed a black ring with a red gem on their ring finger. Narinder had a similar one on his right middle finger but in brown. It was on the wrong place due to the fact that he was missing his ring finger.
“Oh, good morning, Leader! I thought you were still on a crusade.” Yarlen bowed as a greeting and smiled. The Lamb let go of the cat and cleared their throat. “Good morning to you too Yarlen. I just arrived with some resources and I found your bag, Jalala was it?” They pulled out her bag from their fleece and handed it to her. “Oh my, thank you…um.”
“Ah sorry, I’m The Lamb, leader of this place and God of Death. My flock here call me Leader or just Lamb, either is fine.” Jalala observed how they put a hand on their heart and bowed slightly. The blood stains on their shirt was slightly concerning but she decided to ignore that for now.
“Any heresy, violence and act of marginalization are strictly forbidden and will land you in prison. I might be Death but I do not appreciate lives being taken without my or Narinder’s judgement. Ah- he is my right hand.” They motioned for the cat towering behind them. “If you have concerns or anything important to say to me, please go to him if I am not available. If you have any requests, turn to my disciples they can surely help you.” They smiled, but their smile was fake in the panda’s eyes but no one seemed to notice that.
The Lamb's eyes linger on her, scanning, thinking. "I feel like you still have some unanswered questions Jalala, please ask away." The panda hesitated and took a few glances between them and the cat beside them before she asked carefully. "How did you...you know, know eachother and decide to be together-", "Jalala!" Yarlen was about to stop her sister from saying more but was silenced by The Lamb by putting their hand up before she continued. "...because...I learned that carnivores and herbivores are not suppose to be together. What if the other eats them?" She fidgets and curls in on herself when she saw Narinder 'observing' her, more like listening. His stature was intimidating in general. "How we met is confidential. And well...we do have cattle and I do go fishing. And I let my flock sign their last testament one with a question if they want their body to be harvested for our people or not. In short cannibalism is a thing here, though it is strictly supervised." The way they explained it to her so casually was nerve-wracking but she did understand that carnivores cannot eat vegetables, fruits or plants in general. But it was still creepy knowing the people here eat their own kind. "Sorry...it's just, where I came from it's either hunt or be hunted and as a herbivore myself I didn't know what a predator eats and seeing so many living in one place with...well preys, is alien to me." Jalala avoids making eye contact and fidgets with her fingers. "I'm sorry if I offended you." The apology was most likely directed at Narinder. The cat did not react so they answered instead. "It's completely fine. I can see that you are uncomfortable, so you can leave any time, though do tell me beforehand. I can put you off the list of workers for a few days until you feel like staying here. It also goes for you too Rinor." Their eyes flit to the skunk who had been busy thinking during their conversation.
“Oh me? I’m staying here. I had been looking for Paradise for quiet some time now and I am happy to say that it met my expectations.” She smiled at them and The Lamb beamed. “Great! Then I will give you a few days to think what you want to work as and starting tomorrow morning, we will start you off with our prayer group. My disciple Jaon is the one leading it.” They pointed with their hand at a stag who was quietly leading a prayer in front of a few animals under the shrine.
A tug to their cloak caught The Lamb’s attention. Their right ear twitched indicating that they are listening and Narinder leaned down to whisper. They then clasped their hands together and smiled at the newcomers. “Well then, I have to continue with my work now. If you have any concerns, you can also turn to my disciples, they all wear distinctive clothes, you can easily tell them apart from other members.” They bowed. “Oh, don’t worry Leader, I will guide them for now and explain everything for them!” Yarlen bowed and the other two followed, though his sister was a little bit hesitant. The Lamb thanked him then left with Narinder silently trailing right behind them. Nobody noticed the way he held onto the ends of The Lamb’s cloak.
Once they were out of earshot, Narinder spoke up. “That panda, she does not have any faith in you.” They hummed in response and walked in the direction of their home. Their shared house was big in comparison to other people’s houses but smaller than their temple. It sat on a hill, overlooking their cult grounds. “Give her some time, she will convert eventually, if not, I do not mind having a non-believer in my cult as long as they don’t spread dissention and break my rules.” They pulled Narinder slightly to them when a cart full of fruits pushed past them. The farmer greeted them and they greeted them back with a smile before continuing. “Besides, I have enough people in my flock to give me devotion.” Narinder sniffs in disagreement. “Do not make the same mistake as what? Fifty years ago? You let someone in with zero faith and did not notice dissention spreading until they started spreading heresy loudly in the center.”
“I was in a long crusade, I did not want to abandon it and lose my resources for something that I can fix easily.” They huffed and grabbed some berries when they walked past the farm and popped them into their mouth.
Ever since they married Narinder, which was 7 years ago, his senses got sharper. Besides his smell and hearing, he could sense someone’s faith wavering and sense someone’s incoming death. It was practical for him and for The Lamb when they are out and not available when something goes awry.
Once they reached their house, they let the cat in first before entering themselves and shut the door. Their cult leader mask fell off as soon as they let out a deep sigh and slumped their shoulders, making Narinder chuckle as he leaned his wooden cane against the wall beside their desk and took a seat on the couch.
He put his hood down and shook any uncomfortable feeling from his fur off before removing his veil. The Lamb walked up to him with a first aid kit and took a seat right next to him and inspected the bandages that were wrapped around all three of his eyes. The bandages were SOAKED in black ichor, no wonder Narinder wanted to leave so quickly. Well, he could change his bandages alone, though when he said that he needed help, it was most likely an excuse to have them for himself. They just arrived from a three-day crusade after all and did not have the time to meet up with Narinder since they immediately had to tend to some matters.
“How are you feeling by the way? Any reports?” They asked as they carefully removed his bandages. Narinder hummed in thought before speaking up. “I spent my days reading the book you gave me.” Their ears perked up in excitement.
Since his release from Afterlife and after he calmed down and accepted his fate of course, The Lamb had searched through Shamura’s temple for any studies about blindness. They ended up stumbling upon a book about braille and took it with them along with other things that they thought could be useful for them. They teached him the braille alphabet and since there were no books that were in braille, they decided to build a machine similar to their typewriter (that they definitely did not steal from Shamura’s temple) with the help of a follower who specializes in building these devices, and translated a book that they thought he would be interested in.
“How is it so far?” They asked while they let his bandages fall on the floor revealing his sunken in eyelids covered in ichor, and gently wiped it away. “The lead character is annoying and too stupid to realize that the other is trying to court them. It reminds me of yo- OW you-!” He hissed and pushed the hand away that put a little pressure on his third eye. “Whoops.” They grinned and batted his hand away and continued with their cleaning.
Narinder only frowned and grumbled some curses as they worked on his face then continued with bandaging him up. “Anyway, an elder passed while you were away. She stated that she wanted her body to be harvested but since you were away and there was nobody who volunteered to butcher her and there was no way of conserving her body, we had to bury her.”
“Aw that’s a bummer…” They pouted at the news and tucked the tail of the bandage in and pulled away. “We really should build something that could freeze bodies, so they don’t go bad while I’m away.”, “You mean a freezer.” Narinder deadpanned and put on his veil again. “Well duh! But bigger!” They spread their arms out, aware that he could not see it, but he married them, so of course he knew what gestures they were making. “Well then you have to go on another crusade again, because we don’t have enough resources for that.”
“Huhhh??? What did we do with the rest??” Narinder would have rolled his eyes if he still had them. “You used them to build bathrooms to each individual houses for your flock remember? I still don’t understand why you would give them the privilege to have such luxury.” The Lamb pouted at that and cleaned up the mess that they had made. “I just want my flock to be comfortable and happy, besides those animals deserve to have that comfort. I cannot stand looking at them living under a tent and having them wash themselves with cold water in a bucket. Plus! They can clean their own shit~” Laziel smirked at that and put their hands on their hips proudly.
Narinder just ‘stared’ at them blankly then stood up, ready to leave. “Hey! I’m just half joking! Come back you didn’t even give me a kiss yet!” They whined and took a hold of one of his sleeves. “Nope, you have to go get it.” The cat shimmied out of their grip and grabbed his cane before going out with Laziel following behind.
He ignored their whining as he walked down the path that he memorized. He barely needed to use his cane since the flock were mindful of his steps and kept the path for him clear unless… Narinder stumbles over a basket and lost his balance. The panda gasped and was ready to catch him, but Laziel was quick enough and got in between her and the cat and caught him. “Phew that was close…are you okay?” Laziel watched as Narinder dusted off his robe and straightened himself. “Fine.” He grumbled.
“A-Ah, I’m really sorry!” Jalala bowed then quickly picked up the basket of fruits. “I wanted to help the farmers with loading and I didn’t think…I’m sorry!” She bowed again. “It’s okay, it was a mistake that can happen. Just make sure the path is absolutely clear from any obstacles, don’t want anyone tripping.” They gave her a reassuring smile to which the panda nodded then ran off to join her friends.
“They are going to be trouble, I can feel it.” Narinder mumbled and continued his walk. Laziel only giggled and got in front of him and walked backwards with their hands behind their back. “She can’t do anything, my disciples have everything in control! That’s why I picked them. Each of them have their own sections to look over and we got you.” They ended their sentence by booping his snout, making him sputter and swat at the air to which they laughed and turned around. “I trust you and the others that you will imprison them if they start spreading heresy about me or else I have to do it with my own hands.” They sounded cheery but to his ears, it was an obvious threat.
Laziel was cheerful, always had a smile in front of their followers and would always be kind toward them, despite some creatures deserving some ass-beating. Though, he remembers how their eyes would glow a faint red if something did not appease them. It was scary, he had to admit, to see an innocent sheep go absolutely feral if something ever snapped inside of them. It used to happen whenever they faced one of the bishops. They were mad, full of hatred when they slaughtered them. He doesn’t blame them, their family and their entire species got erased because of his siblings, he would be mad too if his kind was slaughtered. He is, he doesn’t remember how many sheep appeared in front of him. There were dozens of different flocks in his realm, he lost count of how many they were.
“I’m going to leave by tomorrow morning and arrive a bit after the festival started. Start without me, I trust you can do that for me.” Laziel got beside Narinder and nudged him a little when they noticed that he was deep in his thoughts. “Just because I’m your husband, doesn’t mean you have to pile your dirty work onto me.” He grumbled and let them wrap their arms around his left. “Come ooon, just this once! Pretty please?” They took his hand and intertwined their fingers with his and kissed the back of it. His ears pinned back and hair stood up in embarrassment. He huffed and squeezed their hand slightly in response to that, ignoring the lack of bodyheat.
“I’ll think about it.” He mumbled and let go of them once they reached the graveyard. He knew he reached it by the smell of chemicals for preserving dead bodies lingering in the air. “Go hold the funeral, I’m going to check on Manon and the farm.” Narinder pulled them in gently by their fleece and kissed them on their forehead. It was rare for him to show affection in public, so the sudden action stunned The Lamb. “O-Oh yeah sure! See you at home!” Narinder smirked at their stuttering then turned and left to go to the farms.
It didn’t take long for him to check the stocks of the cult’s farms. It was enough for the festival and for the winter that is right around the corner. Manon is The Lamb’s first disciple and farmer and a capable one at that. Every disciple they picked were capable of keeping things organized in the cult if he thinks about it. His past self wouldn’t believe him because it used to be that bad when The Lamb first started. Who wants to eat their own excrement???
After that, there was nothing else to do. He went home and made himself comfortable in his shared bed. It was getting cold, so Laziel stacked their bed with layers of blankets for Narinder to sleep in. Even though he can grow his own winter fur, he was still cold. Back then, when he experienced his first winter, he didn’t even dare go outside, not until Laziel made him clothes thick enough for him to stay warm.
His ear twitched at the sound of the doorknob twisting. “Hii..” Laziel entered their home and sighed. It was basically a routine at this point. They would remove their fleece and collar, hang it on their desk chair, check themselves in the mirror to see if their wool was still neat and clean, if not they would take a long shower otherwise they would straight up go to where Narinder was and give him a kiss on the side of his head, which they did. Narinder let out a trill and purred under the warm blankets he was bundled in. Lucky for Laziel, they didn’t need that many blankets because their wool was already keeping them warm enough. Just looking at the cat burrito made them sweat already.
“Was everything fine at the farms?” They asked as they tucked themselves in beside him. “Mm we have enough for tomorrow and for the winter, we should be fine.” He murmured, slowly but surely falling asleep. They didn’t say anything after that once they noticed him drifting into a hopefully dreamless sleep and listened to his soft purring. It was rare for him to fall asleep that quickly, usually he would distract himself by either talking to them about anything he had in mind or would cuddle them in silence. Laziel didn’t need to sleep but they could if they wanted to and would always entertain their husband in any way they can despite worrying about his lack of sleep. But they understood, after all, they had experienced his night terrors quiet often.
Narinder would wake up, screaming and crying, not being able to recognize his own spouse while he was still in that headspace and it was so much harder to snap him out of it because he was blind. They were not allowed to touch him until he calmed down and the only way they can do that is by talking to him or he would calm himself down. It was bad back then when they first freed him from his prison, now it happens once in a while. Still, he was terrified of going to sleep but he did not want to admit that, of course.
Laziel sighed and pet him gently behind his ear as they watched him sleep. Their hand trailed down to stroke his cheek and ran a thumb on his bandages. They still feel guilty even after years passed. Had they known that Narinder was going to be permanently blind, they would have given up the crown and sacrificed themselves, but they were scared that time. Scared, mad and upset. They did not want to die, they never planned to, so they ended up being selfish and betrayed him.
They stopped when Narinder started stirring in his sleep, the beginning of a dream. Something that they dreaded. Astaroth, former witness of the God of Pestilence, now doctor for the God of Death, told them that they were not allowed to wake up someone that was experiencing night terrors. It would cause more confusion and panic for the other which they did not want. So, they waited.
Just like any dream he had, it started off as something he experienced as a child. Narinder, small, innocent and mortal, was happily playing catch with three-year-old Leshy. Shamura and Kallamar were on the sidelines, watching. "Careful, don't get too close to the fire." Shamura warned. They were twelve at that time and Kallamar a year younger, Narinder just turned seven. They had just put up camp in a secluded area in the forest where nobody could find and capture them.
"We are!" He heard himself yell in a higher pitched tone, before he continued to run after Leshy who was giggling uncontrollably. They had found Leshy a week ago, weak and injured in the bushes of Darkwood. If it weren’t for Narinder’s good smell, they would have walked right past him because of his green leafy body. Poor thing couldn’t even make a noise because of how weak he was then. Now he was happily playing catch with him. Heket wasn’t there at that time, they will find her rummaging through garbage for food in about a month.
"Wait- Leshy don't get too close!" Narinder's heart dropped when he watched his baby brother run full speed to the fire. He didn't register how Leshy picked up a flaming, sharp log, didn't even ask why he could even pick something burning without bursting into flames himself, after all, he is made out of leaves, not until he could feel an agonizing pain in his third eye.
He screamed.
Leshy. Oh, Leshy. Chaotic little brother who used to laugh and run around with him, play pranks and cause trouble for his other siblings. Reduced to a god who sees nothing but hate towards Death.
It was a dream, he knew it was because he doesn't remember Leshy plunging a stake into his eye when they were little. But it felt real. The stake, deeply buried into his skull felt too real for him that he screamed loudly, it made his ears ring. He could have sworn, he saw Leshy in his eldritch form, grinning at him as he pushed the stake deeper. He would have been dead by now, but of course his nightmare wanted him to suffer. "STOP!" Narinder could hear himself cry out as he clawed at his brother, anything that could stop him from hurting him. His claws dug into his brother's skin, he could feel his flesh tearing and his blood oozing out of the wound. "PLEASE STOP!"
"NARINDER!"
Narinder screamed and jolted up, he panicked and scrambled back into the corner of the wall. It was dark. He couldn't see. Flashes of Leshy grinning and holding the flaming wood kept appearing in his mind. His breathing was ragged, heart thumped so hard he could hear it pulsing in his ears.
"Narinder, it's me Laziel." He heard someone say in front of him. He whimpered, something he would never do in his life, and pushed himself further into the corner. He didn't know how his imprisonment impacted him, after all god's did not dream. But he was a god no more since The Lamb got him out of that hell hole of a prison. Right. Laziel got him out. He is on the cult grounds, in their shared house, in their bed.
He took a deep breath and exhaled through his nose.
"That's good...do you know where you are?" He heard them ask. He took a deep breath again and held it before exhaling. "In our home..." he whispered and relaxed a bit. "Right. Do you know who I am?" They asked next and carefully touched his hand. He flinched at the sudden contact but relaxed and let them hold his hands. Their hands were cold, cold like a corpse's.
"Laziel. My Lamb, my spouse." He whispered. "Dammit this is stupid..." He sighed out next and let go of their hands and buried his face in them. "Hey, we have gone through this already, this is not stupid. This is serious." Laziel put a comforting hand on his arm, careful not to touch his scarred wrists. "You went through a lot of things Narinder and I understand that." They whispered now. He did not realize how they pulled him in a hug until he felt a gentle squeeze around his chest, something he found out was comforting.
"I'm sorry for waking you up." He mumbled in their wool and nuzzled there. It was strange to think that he used to be a vengeful God who tried to kill his usurper many times by clawing at them when they got close enough or by trying to choke them. Now, he is married to them and is currently in their arms trying to calm him down from a silly nightmare. How embarrassing.
He shook that thought away and buried his face into their neck and inhaled. They smelled of, well sheep, grass and sun and if your senses are heightened you would be able to smell death on them. Not just death from the heretics they slaughtered or from the body they just buried. They smelled like Death. It didn’t smell of corpses or something rotting, quiet the opposite. It was like smelling the pure air on a snowy mountain on a sunny day while knowing a horrific accident just happened behind you. Yeah, something like that.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Laziel asked after a while and pet the back of his head gently. They felt him shake his head and they stopped at that. They knew it was either about his siblings, his imprisonment or his birth parents, but he never talked about the details in his dreams. They remember him telling them that his parents perished in a fire when someone burned their village down. It was because they didn’t want to pray to a god they didn’t believe in. He didn't tell more, but they can get a picture of what his dreams were about.
“…I want to get some fresh air.” Narinder pulled away after a while and stretched. “Okay, the sun is about to go up, we have time to go for a walk.” They smiled and slowly got out of bed and fixed their wool.