Work Text:
A hand hit against the storage closet, a soft thud sounding on the outside. If it weren’t for the louder moans that rang out, muffled by the walls, one would think that there was a fight escalating.
“W-wait, I- ah!” Sangwon whined out, fingers digging into Anxin’s back as his head was thrown back. Crescent shaped dents began forming, a pleasurable pain for the younger as his thrusts continued. Another thump sounded in the room as the shelf he was pressed up again continued to wobble, the sound of cardboard boxes bumping left unheard under the noise of the two men. If he was in his right mind, Sangwon would have been worried about any classmates walking past. But he couldn’t even tell how long it’s been since Anxin dragged him into this storage room. Maybe a couple minutes?
Or perhaps even hours with how the shelf bars dug into his back. The imprint of fingertips on his hips was already bruised. Did it matter? Sangwon thought with a foggy mind as the sticky feeling of slick intensified between his thighs, sensitivity heightening his senses. His body rocked back and forth as the only thing he could do was weakly cling onto Anxin with shut eyes.
A bite on this shoulder broke him out of his hazy thoughts. Dark eyes met closed teary ones as a hand forced Sangwon’s head up. “Won’t you look at me?” Anxin’s eyes squinted, a dimple pronounced on his face as he smiled with a mean undertone. “I’m doing all this work, let me see your pretty eyes,” he cooed softly, taking a hand to rub the tears beading at Sangwon’s eyes, mixing the moisture with the eyeliner and smearing it like a mark. Sangwon could only drag a broken mewl from his voice, already anticipating the ache in his throat tomorrow with dread.
“Does hyung feel shameful to be behaving like this with someone younger? He can’t even look at me..” Anxin’s pout is cute, painfully so in a way that softened Sangwon instantly as he opened his teary eyes. But behind his soft eyes was still a cruel demeanor. “If hyung feels so much shame then he should learn to be quiet so nobody comes in to see him like this no?”
As Sangwon opened his mouth to respond with a protest, Anxin only sped up his thrusts as if on purpose. The taste of iron burst in Sangwon’s mouth, his teeth clamping down on his bottom lip to hold back a jolting moan. The muffled sounds that followed behind despite his best efforts brought a vicious grin to the younger’s face. “What a shameless hyung I have..” he cooed with a condescending tone, “it’s like you want people to come in and see you.”
His eyes hardened somewhat at the thought of others intruding in to see the sight before him, a heavy look in his eyes at the sudden realization that others had seen Sangwon like this. His thrusts slow, each roll of his hips more pronounced as his cock dragged along the warm walls that wrapped around him. Anxin lowers his head, arms trembling with the strain of the movement– or was it with rage– as he whispers.
“Who is it that you want to come watch? Did you close your eyes, imagining them?” One hand releases Sangwon, the lasting dark bruise it leaves behind giving Anxin a thrilling sense of accomplishment, searching the shelf blindly for his phone. Without the additional support, Sangwon clasped a hand over his mouth as he dropped down on his cock slightly, pressure on his prostate growing as he sank down. “We can call them here right now, do you want to show them how good your cute little Anxinnie can treat you?”
A flash lit up the darkened storage room, Sangwon’s teary eyes flew open at the sudden light, having shut themselves in bliss just moments prior. A whine ripped its way from his throat at the sight of Anxin’s phone above them. “N-no!” He warbled pitifully, hand leaving his mouth as both his arms wrapped around Anxin’s neck. He hid his face with the younger’s body, shame coloring his body pink. “Only you.. Only for you.”
Anxin’s phone hit the shelf with a startling slam. “Just me?” He laughed with a cruel gaze, “we both know that isn’t true. Slut.” His now free hand pinched at the older’s waist, forcing a soft squeal out. The atmosphere shifted slightly, growing dense in a way that contradicted the eroticness of the situation.
“How many people did you ask for comfort from when we were separated, hm? Or better yet.. when you left me?” His voice had dropped to a whisper, eyes shadowed with a hint of unresolved tension and jealousy. Sangwon froze, body stiffening in a way that betrayed both the answer and the underlying turmoil.
“Anxinnie..” The heavy atmosphere of arousal disappeared, a denser feeling of negativity taking its place. Sangwon knew they should have talked about this before, and he knew deep down that he should remain logical right now when the younger clearly wasn’t. But on the surface level, he also couldn’t shake the utter hypocrisy of the man before him.
“You’re not being fair.” All feelings of pleasure seemed to have evaporated with the heaviness. What was before so clearly a moment of passion shared between two lovers became a revealed point of tension that hadn’t quite been resolved.
The younger now had a scowl on his face, catlike eyes dark with clear, painful jealousy in place of the sweetly erotic look they both shared. “Maybe not.. but that doesn’t make it less true.”
Like a switch, the arousal was gone. Both men had gone cold.
In quick and practiced moves, the two separated. There was an uncomfortable distance between us, marked by the miles of the unspoken past. They stole glances at the other as they dressed in wrinkled clothing, a matching frown on both their faces. In silence, the two finished dressing. The tension was palpable, too thick to ease quickly.
Finally the older one broke the silence with a saddened sigh. He stared at the raven-haired man before him with slight sadness but also underlying resentment. “What.. what are we.?” These words brought an unsettling emotion upon both their hearts. Something they had both mutually dodged around, now a point of contention. “You can’t just randomly drag me in a storage closet after weeks of this.. back and forth we’ve been engaging in.”
Sangwon’s voice grew soft as Anxin’s eyes darted around, avoiding his stare. “We’re both hurting people. You’re hurting me.” He stops, a bitter expression tainting his gentle features, “..If that matters at all.”
At his words, Anxin snapped to attention with a frown. “You’re hurting people. I haven’t changed.” He turned his back to Sangwon. The familiar sight brought an ache to the elder’s chest, he thought things had changed. And they did.. but now he can’t confirm if it was for better or for worse.
“I’ve always made myself clear, hyung. If other people are hurt by my actions then it’s because they misunderstood something.”
His sharp words cut, Sangwon shrunk in slightly on himself. But he.. he wasn’t. There were blurred lines and whispered promises that never came to fruition. Small things that made his heart beat and big affections that planted a forest that burned down later on. “If.. if this was nothing.. you wouldn’t have been jealous. It wouldn’t have worked.”
He felt desperate, throwing out accusations to stop this irreparable distance. Sangwon wanted to understand, he wanted so painfully for Anxin to look at him. Beyond the pleasure, beyond the body, beyond the darkness. “This isn’t just lust..” Because lust didn’t create promises of a home, it didn't come with blankets and warmth, not with late night coffees and sleepless conversations. Lust didn’t seamlessly slip into the cracks of a soft heart and burrow its roots into its heated core.
Anxin’s hand froze on the doorknob, tightening slightly. Because he was right, it had stopped just being lust months ago. His jaw tightened with unspoken words, his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed down emotions he wasn’t sure he was allowed to have just yet. “Maybe..” Sangwon brightened with a hope that crashed at the next couple words. “Maybe that’s how it appeared to you. But I haven’t treated you differently.” The elder’s face crumpled with a lost hope.
He swallowed down protests with a gently bitter look on his face, “Ok.”
Anxin’s hand loosened slightly, the upset ringing in his ear sparking an urge to turn around, to comfort. But Anxin wasn’t sure he could love. He wanted it like nothing else, those moments of warmth and softness, but he didn’t know if he could. And even if he did have the ability.. didn’t someone like Sangwon deserve better than what he could offer? More than this overflowing mess of things he didn’t know.
With an inaudible sigh, Anxin opened the door with a finality that seemed irreversible. It felt like a leap off a cliff, like if he walked out he would lose something he never knew he had but had always felt. The door shut behind him, plunging Sangwon back into the dull dim lighting of the storage closet.
And just like all the times before, Sangwon was left behind. Like a messy secret that was never meant to become more.