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Ilya was pacing.
He was thankful that he had his own hotel room, because it would have been hard to explain the way he was acting to one of his teammates.
It was Shane hollander who had been laying on the ice, unmoving, after all.
To anyone who knew him, his reaction would have been very weird.
They would have known immediately.
Well, maybe they wouldn't have known, but they would have talked and maybe they would have put two and two together and realized that what Ilya felt for Shane was not hate at all.
Quite the opposite actually.
And no one could know, which was the reason he was pacing around this room instead of visiting Shane in the hospital.
Visiting hours had started an hour ago and Ilya didn't know what to do.
He wanted to see Shane, god he needed to see him.
When he got hurt at the game Ilya felt like his heart had stopped , and when Shane didn't get up, when he didn't move at all, Ilya had felt so sick, he had almost vomitted everything he had eaten that day right onto the ice.
He'd felt like he couldn't move.
Like he couldn't breathe.
It was obvious that he liked Shane, that he had never actually hated him.
The whole rivalry thing was just something the media had made up.
But when Shane had been unconcious on the ice, Ilya had known that Shane meant more to him than he had ever thought possible.
He didn't want to face what that meant.
He couldn't.
But he had to see Shane.
What if no one let him in?
What if anyone recognized him?
What about the paperazzi?
But he was the teams captain and it wasn't uncommon for a captain to visit players from opposing teams if they had gotten hurt. So maybe he could use that as an explanation.
He decided that was a good idea and went to put on his shoes and jacket. After some rummaging around in his suitcase he found a pair of sunglasses and a baseball cap. Not a good disguise but it would have to do.
He slipped out of the door and hoped that he wouldn't see any of his teammates on his way out of the hotel.
· ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
The way from the hotel to the hospital was about a 10 minute walk and Ilya spent the whole time making up different scenarios of how Shane would look.
There hadn't been any updates regarding his condition since yesterday.
He only knew what hospital Shane was at because his teammates had talked about it.
Shane could still be sleeping, maybe he hadn't woken up at all since yesterday. Maybe he was hooked to too many machines to properly see his face.
And there was still the possibility that Ilya wouldn't even be allowed to see him.
He was so lost in his thoughts that he made it to the hospital in what seemed like three minutes.
When he walked through the big sliding doors he was instantly hit with a distinct smell of disenfectant and had to fight the urge to wrinkle his nose.
He walked up to the front desk and it seemed like the woman who was sitting there didn't recognize him and and he let out a breath.
"Hey, I'm here to visit Shane Hollander, he had an accident yesterday and i think he should be here"
Ilya was unsure if he had to give any further information or if she would even be able to tell him anything with just a name.
Thankfully the woman told him that he had to go to the second floor and then turn left. She told him a number that he didnt quite catch and decided to just start walking.
The elevator ride was uneventful and the smell of desinfectant just got worse on the second floor.
He walked through the long, white corridors. Why did hospitals have to be this plain? How was anyone even supposed get better in this environment?
As it turns out, he didn't even need the number he was previously given because there was only one way to go. At the next desk sat a middle aged woman who actually seemed to recognize him. She looked up and Ilya saw her eyes widen even though she recovered quickly. He really hoped she could be discreet.
"How can I help you" Her voice was a bit raspy.
"Can I see uh Shane Hollander? He is here because of an accident" Ilya hoped she would just let him in and not ask questions.
No such luck.
"Wait, let me just.. what's your name? I need to make sure you're on the list of people who are allowed to visit him."
"Ilya Rozanov, I don't think I'm on the list.. but I can be quick."
"I'm sorry darling, I can’t let you in if you're neither family nor on the list."
"I'm uh I'm a friend? Please I just want to see if he's alright"
Being a friend should be enough, Ilya hoped it was. Why did there have to be stupid lists for everything.
Stupid Canada.
"I can’t let you in" She didn't even look up, seemingly thinking this conversion was over but Ilya had to get to Shane.
He needed to.
"What does being family uh entail" He hoped she wouldnt look up this time eighter but it seemed like nothing was going to be easy today.
"Well, close family like realtives and spouses, obviosly but if you're in a relationship there could be exceptions" She looked down at her stack of papers again, seemingly not interested in the conversion anymore.
Ilya was swaying from foot to foot now, trying to calm himself down. He could tell her about him and Shane but he knew Shane wouldn't want that so he hesitated.
"I uh, are you bound by confidentiality?" Probably a good thing to ask, Shane would be proud.
"Yes, obviosly" she looked at him weirdly and he suddenly felt stupid for asking that.
"I uh I'm his boyfriend, can I please see him?" Ilya hoped she even understood him, considering his quiet and hushed tone.
Apparently she did because her eyes widened again but this time she wasn't as good at hiding it because she simply stared at him for a moment before quickly looking down again.
"Yeah thats ok, room number 4 on the left side. Its possible he's not alone though"
"Thank you" Ilya quickly turned arpund and took off to room 4. He sincerly hoped that Shane was alone but when he stopped in front of the room he could hear people speaking inside.
It sounded like a woman and a man.
Well shit.
Maybe it was just doctors?
He could only hope so, but as he peered through the curtains on the door, he could see a woman he recognized as Yuna Hollander.
There really was no way for this day to get any worse he thought, as he saw David Hollander cross the room. Okay he was just the most unlucky person on the planet then, alright.
Ilya contemplated just waiting for them to leave but what if they stayed the whole day? And if he told them he was here as captain to make sure Shane was okay, that wouldnt be suspicious, right?
He decided the day couldn't get any worse anymore and just knocked on the door. The talking inside stopped and someone called for him to come inside. Inhaling sharply, Ilya opened the door.
"Hi" He said awkwardly. He really didnt know what else to say and waited for a reply while he let his gaze wander to the bed Shane was laying on.
He looked.. alright? Well he had a lot of bruising on his face and his neck. His left arm was in a sling but he was awake. So that was probably a good sign.
Ilya was thankful he wasnt sleeping, because he would've looked even more like he did yesterday on the ice.
He wasnt sure how he would've reacted to that.
"Ilyaaa" Shane dragged his name out and Ilya's heart skipped a beat. He sounded so high but the way he said his name was so fond, Ilya couldn't stop a small smile from forming on his face and looked down.
"Ilya? What.. Why did you call him Ilya? Yuna sounded very confused,
"Sorry, they gave him a lot of pain medication, he's pretty.. out of it"
She looked Ilya apologetically and then turned to look at Shane again.
"That's his name mom." Shane looked and sounded so confused, it was honestly adorable.
Ilya decided to just say what he wanted to say was the best option, he had to get out of here before Shane said anything that could reveal his feelings.
"I'm just here to see if he's alright, as captain. Marlow feels terrible, he's very sorry."
"Oh that's nice" Yuna Hollander looked at him with a small smile that only lasted a second.
"Yeah, I'm just going to go then, I -" Ilya was cut off when Shane stretched out his hand and said a quiet "Nooo".
He started to panic a bit, sober Shane would hate himself if he could see this. He took a small step back and started to turn around
"Hey, heyyy" Shane was apparently very insistent that Ilya should stay and getting louder with everything he said.
And what was Ilya supposed to to?
Shane Hollander wanted him to stay and he was just a man.
And hopelessly in love, apparently.
"Hey, shhhh" As he made his way over to the bed he tried to ignore the fact that they weren't alone and probably being watched.
Shane still had his hands outstreched towards Ilya and started making grabby at him.
God, he would be mortified if he could see himself right now.
When Ilya was finally close enough to the bed, Shane immediately grabbed one of his hands with both of his and held on to it tight. As if he was afraid Ilya would try to leave again. Ilya's heart skipped another beat and he knew he couldn't leave.
"Better." Shane smiled, satisfied.
"I'm sorry, what is happening right now?" Yuna Hollander sounded as confused as anyone could sound and looked at them with a complicated look on her face.
"I uh you should probably talk to Shane when he's not high anymore" Ilya tried to not give an answer so Shane had the chance to tell his parents about them on his terms but it seemed like Shane had different plans.
"Ilya is my boyfriend" Shane looked so proud and so fond when he said it, Ilya didn't even try to correct him.
"I'm sorry, what? Boyfriend? Shane i don't understand.." That was the first thing David Hollander had said at all.
"Since when..How?"
Well since it seemed like there was no way out of this conversion, Ilya may as well answer. The cat was out of the bag anyway.
"Well, we're not actually a couple," Ilya just barely stopped himself from adding 'yet' and continued
"but it's been going on since uh, our rookie season"
Both of Shane's parents had a look of pure shock on their faces but Yuna Hollander recovered first. She Was about to say something when Shane decided to chime in.
"No, it was the summer before that, remember?"
Well yes, that was true but he didnt have to say that now.
Ilya just nodded slowly.
He could see Yuna Hollander sit down in one of the plastic chairs in his periphery vision as she let out a breath.
"I don't really know what to say to be honest."
She looked at Shane for a moment. Hes face seemingly going through multiple emotions.
"Are you happy, Shane?"
And Shane looked at Ilya with the most adorable expression Ilya had ever seen. A tiny, almost shy smile spread across his face as he answered.
"Yeah, I'm happy, mom." He said it in a slightly breathy vioce, as if he was thinking about something and had gotten lost in his thoughts.
"Well, we should probably talk about this later, when you can think clearly again" She smiled slightly and David Hollander nodded from where he stood behind her.
Shane smiled and closed his eyes but tightened his hold on Ilya's hand. There was no need for that, because Ilya wouldnt go anywhere anyway but instead of saying that, he just lifted his hand to Shane's face and traced a finger along his cheek.
Another smile spread across Shane's face and he pulled Ilya closer until he was kind of laying beside Shane on the hospital bed, never letting go of Shane's hand. It wasnt the most comfortable position but Ilya didn't care at all.
They had a lot to talk about when Shane came back to his senses. He will probably freak out but he won't be alone.
For now he had to get better and Ilya was glad he could stay with him.
This was the first time anyone knew about them and Ilya was glad they didnt have to hide in front of everyone anymore.
Small steps.
They had a lot to talk about too, just the two of them.
Maybe they could finally start being honest about their feelings for eachother.
He heard Shane start to snore lightly beside him and realized for the first time today, how exhausted he was.
Exhaused but happy.
Everything else faded away as he closed his eyes and moved closer to Shane.
· ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
Little did they know that Yuna and David Hollander were watching them from across the room with fond smiles on their faces.
- end-