Chapter Text
Quiet.
That's all Joel could say to describe the day.
He was alone, everyone was doing their own projects, yet he was here. On his bathroom floor, crying once again.
Joel relapsed. He didn’t mean to, the feeling of it took over him after anxiety consumed him.
He looked at his wrists. Scars with fresh blood still dripping.
He said he was going to get better. He promised.
Joel couldn’t face anyone after this. Not Grian, not Xisuma, and definitely not Etho. The one who held him through most of his recovery.
He couldn’t bear to see the look on his face.
That was it, he was done. He tried to run away once, this time, it was going to work.
He packed a small backpack with the essentials. Tools, rockets, food, and a small blade hidden in a pocket along with cigarettes. He tried to quit those too but couldn’t stop.
He left his base with tears in his eyes, and flew to the world border. He learnt a glitch from Grian years ago that could get you through without dying.
Joel drank a health potion, and threw his comms on the ground. He went through, and didn’t look back.
Meanwhile..
Hermitcraft Comms Channel
Server Error - Player escaped border - Action required immediately
Grian: thats weird
Grian: x can you check it out?
Xisuma: looking into it now.
Xisuma: it says someone left the border but it doesn’t say who.
Grian: wait
Grian: someone check joel’s base
GeminiTay: whats going on??
Grian: i think joel’s trying to leave again.
Etho: just had a look, no ones there.
Grian: etho meet me at the border, we have to go look for him.
…
Joel was in an acacia biome, his least favourite, but the only place he could go.
He hid inside a cave and grabbed his cigarettes, lit one and took a drag. Until he heard something, or someone.
“Attention all Hermitcraft members, player Smallishbeans has gone outside the world border and is now gone from the main server. Players Etho and Grian are searching for him. Please be advised that the server borders are now completely blocked off.”
Joel burned the cigarette into his arm. Why were they doing this again? There’s no point.
The burn didn’t feel enough for him, so he took out his blade and started cutting. Lines and lines of red marks on his arm, some were neat, others sloppy.
He moved to his thighs, then went down his legs. He was losing too much blood, but he couldn’t stop.
Joel then passed out, in a pool of his own blood.
..
Joel’s eyes slowly opened, he was in so much pain, but he was still alive.
His cuts had stopped bleeding, but most of them were swollen and made him cry just trying to move properly.
But he had to push through, he couldn’t stay in the cave for much longer. He had to move.
Joel left the acacia biome and somehow ended up in a dark oak biome. He hid under a tree and tried to tend to his wounds.
But then, he heard the sounds of rockets and people speaking.
It was Grian and Etho.
“He has to be around here somewhere, we’ve travelled over two thousand blocks.” Grian said landing nearby.
“Joel could have gone anywhere, he could be a million blocks away and we wouldn’t even know it.”
Shit, he had to keep going. He slowly started to run away so he could fly off without them knowing.
“Hey, I think I hear footsteps..”
Joel froze. He made a run for it and flew off.
“THERE HE IS!”
He looked behind him and saw Grian and Etho flying not too far from him.
Joel went as fast as he could with the Elytra. Soon enough Grian and Etho were out of vision. But what Joel didn’t realise is that he was flying right back to the server border.
It was too late to turn around. He practically crashed into the border, taking a bunch of damage, but still somehow making it through.
Hermitcraft Comms Channel
Server Correction - Missing Player reentered border
Xisuma: thats’s joel, everyone go look for him!
Joel was back near his base, but flew right past and went to the other side of the map. But, he ran out of rockets.
He crash-landed into the forest, landing in the dirt.
Smallishbeans fell from a high place
Grian: is he back at his base??
Etho: found all his stuff, he had a bloody knife on him
Grian: fuck
Joel was suddenly back at his base. Just like last time. He grabbed a spare elytra and rockets and left his base immediately.
This time, he went over to the far side of the world, near Cub’s base.
But what he didn’t realise was that the whole server was on his tail.
He looked behind him to see multiple Hermits coming at him, screaming his name.
Joel dropped his elytra
And fell.
Etho tried to grab him, but his grip wasn’t strong enough.
Smallishbeans was doomed to fall by Etho
This time, Joel didn’t go far. He walked to his ensuite from his bed with another blade and cigarette. He locked the door, and stayed quiet.
He heard Grian and Etho run into his room, he thought they would leave, but Etho noticed the locked door.
“JOEL! OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!” Etho yelled.
“JOEL PLEASE WE’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU!” Grian cried
Joel sat in the bath tub. He lit the cigarette and cut into his upper arms.
The smoke filled the room, he burned it into his arm.
“I don’t need you to help me, I’m okay.”
“Joel you’re not okay! I saw the scars! And the Blood in the cave! Please just let us help you!” Etho banged on the door.
“You guys did help me, but it didn’t work. I relapsed. I don’t deserve the help that you gave me.”
“Joel..”
He then heard whispering on the other side.
Then silence. Then more whispers.
“We’ll be waiting here, until you’re ready to come out.” Etho spoke.
Joel chuckled.
“You’re gonna be here for a while.”