Chapter Text
Home [həʊm]:
Home is the place where one feels safe, unafraid to be their authentic self. A place where the cruelty of the world cannot reach. A moment of comfort, a moment of safety, a moment of peace.
—
A soft hum comes from the broken fridge, the light of it forever on—shining through the thin gap. The air feels heavy. There are dishes in the sink, unwashed. Trash piled up, rotting. The floor is covered in dust. The broken light flickers against the ceiling, its dim and he can barely make out the ripped, yellowed wallpaper. It smells of smoke and trash.
Jabber stands in the middle of the kitchen. A small space. The counter is close to the broken dishwasher. His tired gaze falls on the stove. A meal was still in the pot. It had gone cold a while ago, waiting for a night that never came. Two plates sat untouched next to it.
—
Laughter echoes through the kitchen between music. Zanka grins widely as he stirs the pot, nudging Jabber away as he tries to sample the food in the pot.
“It’s still raw ye damn glutton!”
“C’mon just a bite!”
Zanka laughs and jabber stares at his boyfriend happily. He sways to the music as his hands crawl up at Zankas shirt, hugging him from behind.
“Hey! If you feel me up like that I’ll burn the food.”
Zanka laughs as jabber tickles him. He flicks his wrist and food splatters on the counter.
Jabber grins widely against Zankas neck before reaching out his finger to swipe the food from the counter and putting it in his mouth.
“The counter is dirty Jabber!! Spit it out!” Jabber laughs maniacally at Zanka’s failed attempts to stop him.
—
Jabber’s fingers swipe the counter, dust gathering on his fingertips. He watches it fall softly to the floor as he rubs his fingers together. He stares at the window, the glass dirty. He leaves the kitchen.
Blankets are scattered on the couch, lazily hanging off. A pillow lies half burnt on the ground—another on the couch. The TV glows with static. Smokes cigarettes are thrown lazily in the mess of pillows and blankets, the remote broken. The smell of ash and smoke frame the sheets.
He approaches the couch, staring at the cigarettes. He picks one up and reignites it, bringing it to his lips. He pauses as the Cigarette burns out before it could make contact. He lets down the now burnt out cigarette as his head drops down to watch the ashes gently glide to the wooden floors.
—
“Jabber I told ya not to smoke in the house!” Exclaims Zanka as he reaches for the lighter.
Jabber grins and holds it out of reach, lighting it and putting it in his mouth. Zanka pushes Jabbers face down and the cigarette falls on a pillow. He panics and quickly grabs the pillow, putting out the fire. A spark landed on Jabbers cheek and he chuckles at the pain.
“Yo you almost burned me!” Jabber exclaimed with way too much excitement.
“Shut up! And no more smoking for you!” Zanka exclaims as he puts his hand over Jabbers mouth. He grabs the cigarette and put it in his mouth, puffing a cloud of smoke into Jabbers face before leaning back on the couch.
“I thought ya said no smoking?”
“It was already lit, and i specifically told YOU not to smoke in the house!” Zanka smirked and Jabber reached for the cigarette.
“Gimme a huff!”
“Nah”
—
Jabber’s finger brushes against his cheek. The burn mark long gone. He drops the cigarette bud and heads towards the hallway. One door was open and the other closed. The hallway was the cleanest of all the floors—only dust, no clothes, no stuff.
He carefully entered the room with the open door. The floor creaked as he stepped in. The curtains swayed gently against the open window—the moon illuminating the room. The faint smell of sandalwood and lemongrass lingers in the air. Burnt incense gets blown from the window. His eyes linger on an open textbook, neatly placed there with some notes. A pen had leaked over the papers, soaking them in dried, blue ink.
—
“I can’t right now Jabber, i’m studying. You know that finals are coming up for me” Zanka said, dismissing Jabber as he entered the room.
“Aww c’mon man, the night is still young and i really want ya to come with me on a drive! It’ll be fun!” Jabber exclaimed excitedly, jingling around the car keys.
Zanka turns around looking annoyed.
“I won’t get anything done..”
“That wasn’t a no” Jabber grinned widely, leaning into the room.
Zanka groaned but stood up anyway, walking towards Jabber.
“Fine, where to?”
“I got the munchies and ya don’t got cigs soo—gas station?”
“Alright let’s go.” Zanka throws a jacket over his shoulder. His necklace swaying with the motion.
They head out, ink leaking onto the paper.
—
Jabber walks towards the bed, sinking down against the bed frame. His head suddenly too heavy for his body as it leans against the frame. He reaches towards his chest, pulling out the charm dangling around his neck on a necklace. It was a small stick shaped like a ‘Y’. It was bandaged together in some areas, the wood dry and old but rounded up showing the gentle care that it had gotten. The bandages were stained with red.
Jabber gripped it tightly. His eyes staring at it blankly. He didn’t feel sad, he didn’t feel angry, he didn’t feel happy, he just—didn’t feel. His hand trembled in the cold air. His heart felt hallow, like it had been taken out of his chest without killing him.
His eyes fell on Zanka’s neatly folded clothes on the bed. Then his gaze shifted to the ceiling. The ceiling fan was still spinning. Silently. Slowly.
The room felt empty. There were pictures on the wall, reflecting the moonlight. Outside the soft sounds of winds can be heard—static from the power lines.
Something caught Jabber’s attention and his eyes flickered away, his empty gaze dying at the sight.
There was a rope tied to the ceiling.
—
“Sometimes I wish that the ceiling would fall on me.” Said zanka on a random Tuesday evening.
They were huddled up on the couch.
“What’s that supposed to mean ya weirdo?” Jabber chuckled at the randomness of it all.
“It feels like i can almost reach it, if it was just a bit closer then maybe i could-“ He could barely finish his last word before jabber lifted him up.
“Hey what are ya doing ya goof!” Zanka laughed as his hand touched the ceiling.
“Now ya can reach it—heck kiss it if ya want!” Jabber laughs wholeheartedly. His grin wide.