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Few were aware of Master Xehanort’s secret lair in the Keyblade Graveyard and even fewer had stepped foot in it. Only those closest to the old man or the most pivotal to his plans.
Ansem, Seeker of Darkness, was a frequent visitor of course, though he never stayed for very long, constantly on the move whether he was scouring the Realm of Darkness, training with Riku’s Replica, getting chummy with his long lost Nobody or carrying out his various tasks be they self-imposed or otherwise. Xemnas, when he wasn't performing his duties, preferred the comforts of the castle of his own creation in the world of his own creation and had not yet found sufficient cause to venture over to the hideout in the barren wasteland that was to be their battlefield. Young Xehanort knew of its existence but his older self didn’t want to spoil him so he wasn’t allowed inside–this also perhaps in part explaining why the youth ranked so low in the Organization despite having been the one to assemble most of its members and being the closest thing to the Master himself. Terra-Xehanort would have also been eligible as he was half Xehanort but he was the only incarnate not privy to the hideout lest the other half of his identity somehow decide to resurface. Then there was Vanitas, that curious dark entity, who despite the lack of love between the two was oddly servile to the old man as his former student and some would say his very first recruit, melting in and out of the shadows whenever Xehanort required his very specialized services and gone just as quickly and quietly as he had come.
That just left Xigbar and Saïx, the only two who weren’t granted access based on their connection to Xehanort but rather because of their usefulness to him. They had reprised their roles as the leader of the Organization’s left and right hands and served him as faithfully as they had his predecessor.
Saïx was taking a rare moment to himself, wandering the halls of the badland’s only accommodation, having just given Xehanort the status update on the final preparations for the upcoming showdown. The lair itself looked as ancient as the hills it was embedded in and while it was assumed that Xehanort was its magic-enabled fabricator, it had actually predated him by millennia. It consisted of a series of tunnels and chambers cut into the brown sandstone and the walls were largely left in their natural condition with only the entryways and doors decorated with ancient columns and carvings. The exterior walls were fitted with floor-to-ceiling windows, offering an uninterrupted view of the surrounding desert for those on the inside, while magical barriers rendered the entire facility invisible to anyone on the outside.
Saïx found himself standing at the end of a corridor, taking full advantage of this breathtaking (if not a little macabre) view as he stared off into the sunset.
“Aren’t you supposed to be keeping an eye on the poppet?” A brash voice intruded upon the peaceful quiet of his solitude.
Saïx didn't turn around, knowing that voice all too well. He simply kept his hands folded behind his back as he continued to gaze off into the distance. “Which one?”
“Damn, Sixy, you’re gonna have a lot of angry Xehanorts on your hands if the wrong person hears that.”
Saïx finally turned towards the speaker with a raised eyebrow. “Are you the wrong person?”
“Ahhh, I don’t put much stock in words,” Xigbar said, swiping a hand in the air as he approached. “It’s actions I like to pay attention to.”
“Sounds like you’re the right person, then.” Saïx replied, taking a step towards Xigbar. “Or are you here to observe my actions?”
“Naahh,” Xigbar said, putting his hands in his pockets. “I’m just here because the old man wanted a report on my findings.”
“Oh?” Saïx asked, undeniably intrigued as he took another step closer to Xigbar. “Did Luxord finally find that mysterious something of yours?”
Xigbar stopped right in front of him, shoulders back and pelvis forward, tutting as he moved his hands to his hips. “I’m disappointed in you, Saïx. For someone who loves formalities as much as you do, you should know that I can’t reveal that juicy little tidbit to you before I tell the old man, now can I?”
Saïx smirked, inclining his head in a slight bow as a means of apology. “No, of course not. I wouldn’t want to disturb the natural order of things.”
“So what brings you here? I would’ve thought that seeing to the development of our imaginary friend was a bit more pressing than…” Xigbar tilted his head to the side to peer around Saïx at the empty corridor, “standing around doing nothing?”
Saïx was tranquility personified. “I trust number IV knows what he’s doing.” His mouth fell open in faux-embarrassment. “Oh, I’m sorry, that's you now, isn't it? Quite a drop, moving from number II to number IV.”
“Aah, I can't complain much when I have the main boss and his two offshoots ahead of me.” Xigbar brushed it off before gesturing towards Saïx. “Nice of you to keep your old buddy Axel’s spot warm for him. Even if that does mean having 3 people move in front of you who used to be behind you. How’s it feel to have to answer to Marluxia now?”
Saïx scoffed at the absurdity of it. “As if I’d ever take orders from the likes of him.”
Xigbar smiled good-naturedly, rocking back on his heels. “Rumor has it, as part of his return agreement he requested that he be given a better rank than you, specifically.”
If Saïx had any feelings on the subject, he didn’t let it show. “I know you like to listen to a lot of idle chatter but I didn't realize you believed everything you heard. What happened to not putting much stock in words?”
“Words can be very illuminating, especially the false ones.” Xigbar's eye lit up as he spoke. “Not to mention, they can be extremely effective in getting a rise out of people.”
“Are you trying to get a rise out of me?” Saïx asked, almost meekly.
“I’m talking to you, aren’t I?” Xigbar responded like it was self-evident.
Saïx hummed in amusement before leaning in and kissing him full on the lips.
Xigbar pulled away in complete shock. “Woah, Blue! You hit your head or something? Get too much moonshine?”
“I couldn't be more lucid,” Saïx said with an unsettling calm before taking another step towards him.
Xigbar put his hand out to keep him at arm’s length while his brain scrambled to find its footing. “What about you and Xemnas? I noticed you haven't been spending a lot of time with him lately. You lose interest cuz he’s not top dog anymore?”
“Xemnas and I… are no more. But I’m sure you already knew that, being so up on the company gossip as you are.”
“Well, I hope you don't think you can get any useful information out of me. I'm even lower than he is.”
“The only useful thing I want out of you is between your legs.” Saïx said as he reached for the useful thing between Xigbar’s legs.
Xigbar jerked back, rendered temporarily speechless but then a slanted grin broke out on his face. “Wait, I know! You're a replica, aren't you? Is this Vexen's idea of a joke?” He started looking around the hall for someone to suddenly pop out and scream ‘surprise’. “Come out, you devious bastard! I knew you had a sense of humor in there somewhere.”
Saïx glanced to the side, hands folded primly in front him (like he hadn't just tried to grab Xigbar's dick), waiting patiently while nothing happened. When Xigbar turned back to him, Saïx’s eyes gleamed wickedly at him. “Looks like we're all alone.”
Xigbar's smile faded, suddenly feeling like he was in imminent danger. He squinted at Saïx, regarding him with suspicion, “You could have anyone you want. Why go for an ugly old man like me?”
Saïx smiled, “You have a certain swagger about you.”
“Hey, no argument there but if that's what you're into, why stop at me? I'm small potatoes. Xehanort's the oldest, ugliest one here and he has all the power. Isn't that more your style?” Xigbar raised an eyebrow at him. “Or did the old coot already kick you to the curb?”
Saïx chuckled. “I’m not looking for power anymore. We both know how this is going to end and I just want to enjoy our last days while I can.”
Xigbar became quiet here. “You know, I bet Xemnas would be more than willing to–”
Saïx cut him off, patience receding. “I don't want him,” he said sharply. “I want you.” With a quick movement, Saïx grabbed the hand that was keeping him at bay and swatted it aside before stepping painfully close to Xigbar, nose to nose, chest to chest, eye to eye. Sure, they had faced off against each other like this before but it was always on more hostile terms. This was… different. No less charged but… with something else, something more fragile, more vulnerable. Saïx’s voice came out in a low rasp. “Affection is not an easy thing for me. I show mine by mercilessly teasing and taunting, throwing verbal barbs and insults instead of whispering sweet nothings and showering with compliments.”
At some point Xigbar had brought his hands up to the side like he was trying to keep them where everyone could see them. He stared helplessly back at Saïx, afraid to breathe let alone move. Luckily, his mouth always seemed to be on a separate operating system. “Wow, you must really love Demyx then.”
Saïx let out an exasperated huff. “Demyx,” he spat. “I was just trying to whip him into some kind of shape. You made a comment once that you and I were like his parents, you–the debaucherous step-father and I–the nagging, controlling mother. You weren't far off.”
Xigbar had to force a gulp down. “I can see how that's backfiring on me now,” he commented dryly, still in a state of mild paralysis. He kept his tone light despite feeling increasingly trapped.
Saïx smiled softly before readying his next volley. “As I was saying, I like to be mean, and no one has been able to dish it right back to me like you have. You always knew how to play the game and put me in my place,” impossibly Saïx managed to get even closer, bypassing Xigbar's nose so he could bore both of his eyes into Xigbar's only one, his lips brushing against Xigbar's as he spoke through clenched teeth, “and it makes me SO. FUCKING. HOT.”
Xigbar stared into the eyes that were burning into his. They were just as gold as his was. The scar that marred Saïx's pretty face was visible even from this close distance. He bore the same marks of Xehanort as Xigbar did, and had for almost as long. In many ways, their lives ran in parallel since they had joined the Organization. They may not look the same but they were the same. Not until recently did the other members succumb to the same treatment but Xigbar and Saïx had been bearing that burden for over a decade and as young as Saïx was compared to him, he must have felt it even more acutely. Xigbar swallowed before finally saying, “Ok.”
Without wasting a single second, Saïx grabbed Xigbar's hand and pushed past him, instantly pulling them into a dark corridor before Xigbar could change his mind. Xigbar allowed himself to be dragged along but not without spouting one self-flagellating, “Fuck!” in Saïx's wake, numb to everything except the unshakable feeling that he was making a huge mistake.
They ended up in one of the chambers along the exterior with a large bed and a wide view of the canyon. The facility might have been ancient but it was outfitted with all the latest amenities and though minimalism was the overarching design scheme, the furniture was modern and well-built.
“You're not fucking me,” Xigbar declared, pointing an uncompromising finger in Saïx’s direction.
Saïx turned around with an arresting smile, giving a little shrug. “That wouldn't be putting me in my place, now would it?”
Xigbar felt his pants get a little tighter as the pit in his stomach only grew deeper. Saïx let go of his hand and diligently set to work, undoing the clasp on Xigbar’s coat and unzipping it before letting it drop to the floor to reveal his tan, wiry frame beneath. Saïx knew from experience that he was stronger than he looked, all lean muscle and scar tissue. He knelt down and undid Xigbar’s pants before taking out his semi-hard-on.
Xigbar watched as Saïx immediately took it in his mouth without a moment’s hesitation. Xigbar dragged his hands down his face before peaking back down. With a pained expression, he lamented, “The boss man is gonna kill me.”
“Is that the reason you were so reluctant?” Saïx asked as he took off his gloves. “I have to admit I thought you'd be an easier sell on this considering how cavalier you are about everything.”
“It’s one of ‘em.” Xigbar replied warily.
“And the others?”
“Oh, you know, beware the siren’s call. If Saïx is being nice to you it’s probably because he's up to something. Something that won't end well for you.”
Saïx let out an amused chuckle that felt fantastic on his balls. He pulled them out to say, “You know you're more than welcome to leave.”
“Yeah, the problem is, you're making me feel pretty damn welcome to stay.” Saïx, having returned to his task, laughed even harder and Xigbar had to take a shaky inhale. “And if you keep laughing this is gonna be over pretty quick.”
Saïx tried to suppress his laugh this time. “I’ll try to keep that in mind,” he said before setting back to work.
Even without the laughter assist, Saïx was able to get Xigbar as stiff as a board and he was really pulling out all the stops when he felt Xigbar’s hand lightly push him away.
“Take off your clothes and get on the bed,” he directed, barely glancing down at Saïx.
Saïx, ever the obedient adjutant, did as he was told immediately and without complaint. Xigbar removed the rest of his own clothing and walked over to the bed where Saïx was lying on his back and flipped him over, bringing him to his hands and knees.
Getting on the bed behind him, Xigbar asked in a low murmur, “Do you have any lube anywhere?”
Saïx started to crawl towards the nightstand by the bed but Xigbar stopped him by placing a gentle but firm hand on his hip. “I got it.”
Saïx watched as a wormhole opened in front of the nightstand and Xigbar’s hand popped out, opening the drawer and pulling out the lube before disappearing back through the wormhole.
“Well, that's convenient.” Saïx murmured but Xigbar didn’t give him much time to be too impressed because with a few squirts of lube and some fancy trick, Xigbar had slid into him like butter. Saïx gasped when he suddenly felt himself go from empty to completely full, not even registering how it had happened.
“How the hell–?!” He exclaimed, turning around so he could see what Xigbar had done. Xigbar may not have been as big as Xemnas but he wasn’t small either, more length than girth (Saïx supposed the cocky attitude had to come from somewhere), so how he had made it feel so smooth and painless was a bit of a mystery. Spatial magic, maybe?
The other man just grinned waggishly back at him. “I can't reveal all my secrets.”
“Would it kill you to reveal just one?” Saïx sniped back.
“Knowing you it might.” Saïx pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes at him but this seemed to shut him up and his gaze returned to the front.
That worked for Xigbar because he didn't really want to look at Saïx right now. Well, it wasn’t that he didn't want to, he just didn't think it would be a good idea, not if he wanted to keep Luxu contained. And Luxu had an annoying habit of cropping up in moments like this, damn romantic fool that he was.
Luxu had had lots of sexual partners throughout his many lifetimes, his preference leaning mostly towards women but he’d had men as well, due in large part to when he had taken over Brain’s body. Inhabiting a new host also meant inheriting their memories in order to take their place more convincingly and Brain had bestowed him with some pretty steamy ones involving a certain pink-haired Lothario. And so Luxu had learned to expand his horizons which in Saïx's case, hardly mattered because Saïx was prettier than almost anyone Luxu had ever encountered, man or woman, so his gender was almost an afterthought.
And therein lay part of the problem. Luxu had always done his utmost to remain as detached as possible–it was just simpler that way–and not only was Saïx good-looking to the point of distraction but Xigbar had a pre-existing relationship with him, one that at its most charitable could be categorized as a close working relationship and at its least, a junkyard-dog fight. Despite their supposed heartless status they were anything but indifferent to each other, their arguments becoming so heated at times that Xemnas himself had to get between them in his calm, commanding way. Neither one seemed capable of ignoring the other either, whether it was Xigbar’s irresistible urge to taunt Saïx or Saïx inevitably (and sometimes after much coaxing) rising to the bait.
Xigbar enjoyed these interactions more than he cared to admit but he’d always considered these feelings to be relatively innocuous. The idea that one day he and Saïx might exchange more than just jabs and insults was so far-fetched that he didn’t even entertain it and certainly not with Xemnas in the picture.
So the fact that Xigbar was currently balls deep in the Luna Diviner, someone he was not only attracted to but, even more disturbingly, someone he realized he might actually have some playground crush on for the first time in… maybe ever was indeed a cause for concern. Especially when he was so close to the finish line.
Ok, maybe it didn’t have to be the end of the world. It was just meaningless sex after all, he had done it thousands of times. He could just keep fucking Saïx from behind and pretend they were both someone else–he was Braig, the boorish philanderer, and Saïx was just some hot piece of ass–a hot piece of ass with one of the most rare hair colors in all the worlds but… a hot piece of ass nonetheless.
“Ira,” Xigbar breathed out midthrust before he snapped his mouth shut and popped his eye open. Oh shit, wrong bluenette. He couldn't believe he let that happen, he wasn’t even into Ira like that. Saïx only glanced back for a second before returning his gaze to the window, thankfully not appearing too bothered by the slip.
Now that Xigbar was actually looking at him he noticed that Saïx was looking at the window quite a bit. “If I looked like you, I’d be watching my reflection too.”
Saïx scoffed in disgust before turning over onto his back. “I was looking at the moon,” he said, finally tearing his eyes away from the window to look straight at Xigbar. “When you see how deceptive beauty can be it tends to lose its luster.”
“You talking about yourself?”
“My mother,” Saïx’s lips quirked up ever so slightly, “mostly.”
“There's a female version of you out there?! How have I never seen her before?” Xigbar joked, mainly so he wouldn't be distracted by the fact that he was now facing Saïx full on as he steadily pumped in and out of him.
“She only goes for the biggest lowlifes and scumbags so…” he cocked his head to the side as he looked up at Xigbar, “I don't know.”
“Oh, is that what you think of me?” Xigbar asked in mock-anger as Saïx’s eyes sparkled up at him provocatively. “I'll show you scumbag.”
He pumped harder and wrapped his hand around Saïx’s neck, applying enough pressure to cut off his carotid artery and partially restrict the blood flow to his brain. Saïx’s eyes flashed for a moment before they became glassy, never breaking eye contact with Xigbar even as his face turned beet red and his veins began to bulge on his forehead.
Xigbar tightened his grip as he looked down at Saïx, who laid there patiently waiting, accepting. Something caused Xigbar to become stuck here, struggling within himself as he fought some internal battle. Saïx eyed him curiously when his hand eased off the choke, thumb softly caressing the skin of Saïx’s throat instead. Before Saïx could divine his thoughts, however, Xigbar descended upon him, lips crashing onto his in a manner that was equal parts surrender and demand.
Saïx made a muffled sound of surprise against Xigbar’s mouth, bringing his hands up to cup the Freeshooter’s shoulders, more to brace himself than to push him away. Xigbar hefted one of Saïx’s legs up and kissed him passionately, like they were lovers reunited after a long war. Saïx flinched, unsure what had brought on this sudden change.
When he locked eyes with Xigbar again, the look he received was so disarming, so penetrating and full of hidden emotional depths that suddenly things became way too close for comfort, too intimate for Saïx in a way that he had never expected and especially not from Xigbar. Saïx had forgotten how to be vulnerable a long time ago, less from the loss of his heart (though that didn't help) and more as a means of survival, and despite everything he and Xemnas had shared, Saïx didn't think Xemnas knew how to be vulnerable (when would he have possibly learned it during his short non-existence as a tyrant and a Nobody?). So when Xigbar appeared to be gazing into his soul, it became too much for him to bear and he had to look away, to catch his breath as well as his bearings, eyes returning to his precious moon to hide from the feeling of being overly exposed in a way that had nothing to do with his state of undress.
But Xigbar wasn’t havin' it.
If the kiss caught Saïx by surprise then what Xigbar did next was downright iconoclastic. Saïx froze, tensing when he felt something start to rub up against his prostate, something with more dexterity and precision than the head of a penis. He gasped, fingers digging into Xigbar's shoulders as he pulled back from the kiss to peer up at him slack-jawed and stunned while the world seemed to pulse around him with increasing bass.
It took Saïx a full minute to realize Xigbar had opened a spatial rift inside him–which could’ve been grounds for an ass-kicking if it didn’t make his whole body feel blissfully warm and tingly all over–and was able to access his prostate with his fingers from where his hand rested on the bed above Saïx’s head.
“Does that feel good, baby?” Xigbar asked, a hair’s breadth from Saïx’s face, commanding his full attention as he continued to milk him whilst simultaneously fucking him.
All Saïx could do was stare at him and nod dumbly.
Xigbar continued his dual attack, trying to crack Saïx open both physically and emotionally, leaving him with no other choice but to feel, a task the former number VII was wholly unequipped for. The sensations were beginning to overtake him and Saïx looked frantic as his eyes kept darting between Xigbar and the moon, sinking further and further into the mattress. His breath came out in short, rapid bursts and his eyes took on a slight glow, scar growing more coarse and jagged as if he were about to turn right then and there.
Public opinion aside, Xigbar was not so presumptuous to think that he was the one responsible for this partial transformation and not, in fact, the moon, but he'd be lying if he said the idea of fucking Saïx berserk didn't do wonders for his ego, not to mention it was incredibly hot–even at the risk of getting his head ripped off in the process. For all his knowledge and experience, Luxu had no idea how an entity like Berserk would react to getting fucked but this was an experiment he would be only too happy to conduct. And if it went badly, well, there were worse ways to die. As a matter of fact, he couldn’t think of many better ones. And what a fitting end it would be for someone whose name represented lust.
But Saïx didn’t look like he was about to rip his head off, showering them both in a gruesome mess of blood and gore. If anything, he looked like he was about to shower them in hot, sticky streams of cum.
Xigbar pressed his lips against Saïx’s cheek and whispered, “Hold on for me, baby.”
Saïx looked distressed at this, his voice cracking as he choked out, “I–can't.”
“Yes, you can, baby.” Xigbar may have been a strict teacher but this was murmured with the absolute confidence in his student.
“Xigb–” Saïx began to protest but Xigbar cut him off, seemingly annoyed at his own name.
“Call me baby,” he insisted.
Saïx made a hiccuping sound, mouth barely managing to form the syllables, “Ba–by.” It came out raw and forced, like he had never used that word before, which, of course, made it even hotter for Xigbar.
Xigbar sat up, taking Saïx with him so that he was now straddling his lap. Xigbar wrapped his arms around him, holding Saïx in a deceptively strong grip as he moved him up and down on his cock.
There was something about being on the same level as Xigbar, both upright and eye to eye, Saïx now having to hang on to him for balance and, oh yeah, sitting in his lap that brought on another bout of romantic claustrophobia and Saïx’s eyes reflexively sought out the moon. Only he couldn't detect its gentle sheen in his periphery because it was now angled slightly behind him so he had to turn his head.
“Look at me, baby.” Saïx could feel the breath of Xigbar's soft command on his cheek and he felt too weak to disobey.
Saïx looked pained as he stared helplessly into Xigbar’s intense gaze–golden, like the sun, and just as searing hot. God help them all, if he actually had two of them. On sheer impulse, Saïx reached up and snatched the eyepatch off his face. Xigbar didn’t bat an eye (the one he did have anyway) and permitted Saïx to examine the scarred eyelid beneath. Saïx’s eyes moved back and forth between the sealed lid and Xigbar's other eye like he was searching for something. After a moment, he reached back and untied Xigbar’s ponytail, tugging at the long salt and pepper strands with his fingers so that it draped loosely around him. It was smoother and silkier than Saïx's own hair and he thought that Xigbar looked otherworldly this way.
Xigbar leaned in and kissed Saïx tenderly on the lips before moving to his neck.
Suddenly, it felt like his hands were everywhere. They were everywhere, Saïx distantly realized when he felt a hand sprout up between them to grasp his own cock, all without Xigbar having to release his arms from around him and, lest we forget, inside him. It was less mind-bending now that Saïx knew the trick but the feeling was no less overwhelming.
Saïx’s body started convulsing as Xigbar now launched his full-fledged assault, cornering him on all fronts. If he asked him to hold on now, Saïx would’ve bitten his nose off. Right after he came all over the both of them.
As it turned out, Xigbar required exactly the opposite. “I want you to come with me,” he murmured, nipping at Saïx’s parted, panting lips. He had an unusual look of longing in his eye that Saïx couldn’t even begin to decipher.
Saïx’s face contorted like he was about to cry but there were no tears in sight. He could only let out one desperate, sputtering gasp, “Close.”
Xigbar nodded, clutching him tightly as he began yanking Saïx up and down more forcefully. His breathing picked up, the first sign that he had even begun to break a sweat. Damn if the old man didn’t have stamina. He felt Saïx begin to clamp down around him and urged him on. “Go ahead, baby.”
Saïx only needed to be told once and he squeezed his eyes shut, gritting his teeth as he let out a protracted groan which Xigbar instantly lapped up into his own mouth, pressing their faces together until they weren’t sure who was responsible for what noise. Their bodies rocked and shuddered at the same time as they reached their final conclusion and then they sat that way for a while, chests heaving as one.
When they finally caught their breath, they both opened their lids half-mast, lips parted but still connected, exchanging air like they were giving each other CPR. After one fuzzy, glowing moment, Saïx’s eyes widened in fear and he leapt off Xigbar’s lap like he’d sat on a fire, pressing himself as far away as he could get against the headboard and scrambling to cover himself, clutching the sheet in front of his naked body like a shield.
Well, that wasn’t the reaction Xigbar was hoping for. That was hardly how anyone wanted to be received after doing what they just did.
“Who are you?!” Saïx’s voice came out in a hushed whisper, in the midst of a colossal freak-out. “The moon said it's seen you around for centuries.”
Xigbar looked stunned, the words hitting him like bullets (which would’ve been another suitable end for the Freeshooter) and after a long, heavy sigh, he resignedly plopped onto his back, draping a small corner of the sheet over his crotch, not out of any sense of modesty but because the time for ‘dicks out, asses up’ had sadly passed. His face finally betrayed a tiredness befitting his age, his actual age, and he dragged a hand down it. “You can talk to the fucking moon.”
“Luna Diviner, you moron.” Saïx hissed, gesturing to himself as he proved he was not so afraid that he’d forgotten how to be an asshole. “Drop the act. You were different there, I saw it. So what are you? Some kind of god?”
Xigbar let out a self-deprecating laugh. “A god? No. More like a humble servant. Not unlike yourself actually.”
“And whom, might I ask, do you serve?” Saïx asked, trying to keep his voice calm and his breath even.
“Ya know, I never did catch his name.” Xigbar said, some of his flippant attitude returning, snapping his fingers as if it had simply slipped his mind to ask. He was being purposely opaque but he wasn’t lying either. The Master of Masters had insisted that they not use their real names and that their faces always remained covered.
No surprise that Saïx didn’t find this very convincing. “You expect me to believe,” he spoke with a slow, seething impatience, “that you've been following orders from someone for–what? A millennium? More? And you never got his name?”
Xigbar held up his hands. “Hey, who do you think was the one who taught me how to play my cards close?”
“That's all you’re going to tell me?” Saïx looked indignant. “After we just–”
“After we just what?” Xigbar butt in, raising his voice as he stared pointedly at Saïx, daring him to finish. But Saïx wisely shut his mouth and looked down. Xigbar stared at him for a fraction longer before saying, “You may use sex in exchange for information but that doesn't mean we all do.” Saïx’s eyes shot back up, mouth falling open as his insides recoiled hard at the accusation but Xigbar kept going. “Why don't you ask your friend the moon? That's why you propositioned me here, isn't it?” His eye flared brighter as he started to put the pieces together. With his hair down and eyepatch gone there was a ferocity about him that was somewhat daunting. “The artificial Kingdom Hearts in The World That Never Was must’ve been too young to get any real dirt on me so you had to get me off world if you wanted the good stuff. I guess it was lucky for me Xemnas liked to keep you cooped up all day,” Xigbar laid his head back against the headboard, looking up at the ceiling. “Otherwise you probably would've cracked this much sooner.”
A gloomy silence fell over them. As surreal as it had been to be tangled up with Saïx only moments ago, it felt even stranger now to be back at odds with him, even though 99% of their relationship had been spent that way. Part of Xigbar just wanted to reach out and grab him, hold him close, but he was hurt and angry and he could feel the window closing and them reverting back to their old dynamic.
A long moment passed before Saïx finally responded. “He didn’t keep me ‘cooped up’ all day,” he said quietly, quieter than he meant to and though he appeared to be blushing there was a note of determination in his voice. “I had a job to do. It was an Organization–someone had to get it organized. And neither you nor he seemed to have the inclination.”
“Reliable as always,” Xigbar mused aloud, still staring at the ceiling. He rubbed his eye sockets with his palms like he could just wash all this away, “It’s funny, he knew he could rely on you even though he knew he couldn't trust you.”
“You don't think he trusted me?” Saïx asked, grim-faced and tight-lipped.
“He trusted you with a lot–the daily operations, the missions, the reports, the training, the… firings, shall we say,” he glanced at Saïx out of the corner of his eye before continuing, “his dick without question, I’d even be willing to bet he unintentionally gave you his heart, not Xehanort's but his own heart, buried and stunted though it may be,” Saïx became stone-faced, “but he knew what a conniving, self-serving little cunt you were from the get-go. Hell, it probably made him like you more, but he knew you couldn't be trusted with the big-picture stuff.”
This had an inflammatory response and Saïx's voice came back in full force. “And I suppose you think he can trust you?”
“Hey, I’ve been his main compadre from the very beginning. He trusted me with things he didn't share with anyone else in the Organization–not the newbs, not the original apprentices, definitely not Axel and especially not you. He knew who his real ride-or-die was and, sorry to break it to you, toots, but it wasn’t the one with the pretty face.”
“How touching,” Saïx said dryly. “And all I had to do was gargle your balls a couple times to make you forget what an impenetrable bond the two of you had.” Xigbar gave him a flat look before Saïx continued. “Does he know who you really are?”
Xigbar shifted slightly, “No.” There was the faintest trace of guilt in his voice.
“So if I can’t be trusted with the big-picture stuff then what am I still doing here? Why would Xehanort bring me back and give me virtually the same role as before?” He caught himself here, trying to beat Xigbar to the punch. “And before you ask–no, I didn’t fuck him.”
Xigbar raised a suspicious brow and Saïx huffed, “I didn’t blow him either.”
Xigbar feigned even more skepticism before continuing. “It was actually the old man's younger self who personally handpicked you out of all the apprentices. Blue tends to stand out in a crowd,” he said almost chidingly as his gaze flicked to Saïx’s hair. “So, I had to drag your unconscious ass back here. You’re not as light as you look by the way.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, would you rather he have chosen Xaldin or Lexaeus?” Saïx replied hotly, offense taken.
Xigbar snorted. “As if! If he picked one of them, they’d have to find their own ride home. Zexion would’ve been a breeze though.”
“What a pity, then, that his hair wasn’t a sufficiently striking shade of blue,” Saïx remarked tartly. “You can thank my mother.”
“Ya know, maybe I will,” Xigbar threatened baldly, meeting the challenge with unabashed brass like he was answering the lecherous call to arms. Saïx scowled in his direction and slumped even heavier on the bedframe.
Xigbar’s mouth curled into a satisfied smirk before he returned to the question at hand. “As for the old man, you’ve already proven yourself to be a viable vessel and he was able to see how useful and competent you were even without the physical perks.” Xigbar did at least try to give credit where credit was due. “And frankly, he's got so many contingency plans in place that even if you were able to unravel one of them, there’s no way you could stop them all.”
“Does Xehanort know who you are?”
Xigbar sounded significantly less guilty about this one. “No, but he's more suspicious of me than Xemnas was.” This seemed to drudge up some old memories, inducing him to mutter, “Ungrateful bastard–after everything I’ve done for him,” under his breath. “Thanks for ratting me out at the meeting by the way,” he added sarcastically, taking a moment to glare at Saïx.
Saïx wasn’t intimidated. “Did you really think you could give cryptic orders in his Nobody's name and not have it get back to Xehanort?”
“I’ll be sure to remember that the next time you decide to make up orders on Xemnas’ behalf.” Xigbar threw Saïx an accusatory side-eye before his face clouded over, something not sitting right with him. “Did Luxord tell you about that?”
“No,” Saïx hesitated for a fraction of a second, “Xemnas did.”
There was something about the way he refused to meet Xigbar’s eye that spoke volumes. “Oooh, and here I thought the two of you were ‘no more’.” Xigbar said in a way that would have seemed like playful teasing if it hadn’t sounded quite so bitter.
“We are, it’s just…” Saïx trailed off, mind miles away before he finally returned and settled on the word, “business.” Xigbar got the distinct impression he was trying not to choke on it.
“So you do still like him,” Xigbar concluded sullenly, crossing his arms over his chest as his gaze returned to the ceiling. “Then–at the risk of sounding ungracious–what the fuck are you doing here?”
This appeared to cause Saïx some pain to think about. “I... can't forgive him.”
“So was all this just to get back at him then?” Xigbar asked, resentment palpable in the air.
Saïx frowned and shook his head, becoming preoccupied with the sheet he was fidgeting with in his hands. Just when it seemed like he wasn’t going to say anything else, he spoke, focus remaining on the sheet, “You were right, you know. You’ve been quite the formidable opponent over the years, always a step ahead of me. I could never get a read on you or figure out what your motives were. There were no cracks in your veneer. This was the only thing I hadn’t tried and since I’m going to be dead soon, I thought, fuck it, why not give it a go?”
Xigbar had gotten up on his elbow in order to face Saïx so that he could watch him more closely, paying very careful attention to every word, every beat, every subtle movement and gesture. Something in him wanted to violently reject the way Saïx spoke about his own impending doom with such casual acceptance. He noted with some sadness that Saïx hadn’t referred to both of their deaths like he had when he first seduced him in the hallway, understanding now that Xigbar, immortal apparent, was something else entirely and probably wouldn’t be sharing his same fate. Xigbar tore his eye away, giving the sigh of the century as he turned over onto his back once more. “So much for wanting me for my smart mouth then, huh?”
Saïx peered over at him in surprise, studying Xigbar’s face to see if he had him right. When he decided that he had, his tone became more gentle than before. “A lie is more believable when it’s based on the truth. I’ve enjoyed our verbal spars over the years. Xemnas and I never really had that dynamic. He certainly put me in my place but his word was law so we didn't do a lot of playful back-and-forth. Plus, I don’t think he really understood the art of shit-talking. He took it a bit too seriously, not seeing the point unless it was to completely shut down his opponent.” Xigbar snorted softly at that, like he knew exactly what he was talking about. “Even with Le—Axel, we liked to joke around and we definitely talked shit to each other but he never quite matched me and sometimes it just felt like I was bullying him. I’d go too far, say something too harsh and I think I just ended up hurting his feelings a lot of the time.”
Xigbar stared hard at the ceiling like it had committed some massive injustice against him. His brows were knitted together in deep thought and he was dragging his teeth along his lower lip, forearm resting on his forehead. After a moment's silence he said, somewhat detached, “Well, congratulations, kiddo, you caught me.”
Saïx took major umbrage with this, crinkling his nose like he had just smelled something awful. “Kiddo?” It wasn’t a question but an indictment.
The force with which he said it seemed to snap Xigbar out of whatever funk he was in. He turned towards Saïx, eye flitting to the side momentarily, not sure himself why he had called him that, before he looked back at Saïx with a sense of mischief. “What? Would you prefer baby?”
This did nothing to quell the golden-hot coals that were currently burning holes into his skull as Saïx fumed, “I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, but after what we just did–yes!”
Xigbar grinned widely. “Yeah? Is it growing on you?”
“As if!” Saïx blurted out the two words he had never intended to say ever, and certainly not unironically.
Xigbar could not have looked more egotistically elated than if those were Saïx’s very first words. “Woah, I'm starting to rub off on you, Sixy! You can have baby for free but I'm gonna start charging for ‘as if’.”
“I wasn't aware that you had it trademarked,” Saïx retorted, trying to hide how flustered he was behind a sneer.
“If people keep stealing it, I'm gonna have to.” Xigbar remarked matter-of-factly.
“Well, don't bother,” snapped Saïx, crossing his arms over his chest. “And I'm not calling you baby either so you can keep that too.” He halted as a memory from the not-so-distant past insinuated itself to the forefront of his brain, eyes darting over to see if Xigbar had caught it too. When he saw the shit-eating look of anticipation on his stupid, one-eyed face, Saïx begrudgingly self-corrected. “... Again,” he muttered, flushing brilliantly.
Xigbar’s grin was ready to split his face in two as he resumed his survey of the ceiling, placing his hands behind his head. They fell into another silence but this time it was much more companionable than before. Even Saïx's bark had a lot less bite to it.
Bathing in the blinding aura that was Xigbar’s total ease had Saïx wanting to take some of it for himself. He tried relaxing a little, curling onto his side as he propped his head on the pillow, looking over at the bed’s other occupant. “That reminds me, I don't actually know what to call you. Is your name really Xigbar–err, Braig, I guess?”
“No,” he offered simply.
“What is it then?” Saïx inquired, ever eager to obtain valuable information.
Despite their newly-acquired state of sedation, he found Xigbar just as unforthcoming as before. “You’re gonna have to do a lot more than this to find that out.”
“Like what?” Saïx asked, curiosity piqued.
“Like…” Xigbar paused to think, “more of this.” He concluded, glancing at Saïx out of the corner of his eye, lips turned up slightly. Saïx let out a throaty laugh and Xigbar joined in.
Saïx decided to veer the conversation in a slightly different direction. “I thought you were calling me Isa before–which would've been weird enough–but… you were actually saying Ira, weren't you?”
Xigbar let out a breath he had been holding for over a decade. “I've been trying not to call you that ever since I first laid eyes on you.”
“Was he your lover?”
“No, definitely not,” Xigbar denied emphatically. “And truth be told his whole ridiculous get-up reminded me more of something Marluxia would wear, but… you look like him. The blue hair anyway.”
“Ah yes, the forever eye-catching blue hair.” Saïx rolled his eyes scornfully in what had clearly been a sticking point his whole life. “I should just shave it off and be done with it already.”
This drew Xigbar’s immediate scrutiny. “That'd be a real shame,” he said somberly, speaking with unexpected sincerity only to dampen the effect by turning crude. “I mean, no one’s kicking you out of bed without it, but still,” sincerity resurrecting, “that hair is a rare gift.”
Saïx felt himself pinken and he squirmed under Xigbar’s intense gaze. “So… is this what you look like?”
Xigbar barked out a laugh. “Not what you think an ageless being should look like?”
“No,” Saïx said defensively, offended by the question. “I just wasn't sure if you had a different form or not.”
“It's not my original body but it's my body. I had to give up my original form a long time ago. I've had many since then.”
Saïx was struck by a sudden thought. “So did you never lose your heart? There was quite a lot of… feeling there. Even for our fledgling hearts.” More than the slight discomfort with which Saïx spoke of their recent dalliance, there was the sour twinge of betrayal in his voice. As if he had come to terms with the fact that they wouldn't be sharing the same fate but now he realized they didn't even share the same journey to get there, the one thing that made them Nobodies, the main defining characteristic of their non-existence for the last 12 years. Except apparently, Xigbar had had an existence the entire fucking time.
Xigbar tried to be delicate but direct. “I lost Braig’s but I still had mine.”
“Oh yes, yours. Whoever that is.” It was Saïx's turn to sound bitter. “So tell me, No Name,” if Saïx wasn't so caught up in his own feelings, he might've taken the way Xigbar faltered at that name as something other than him being insulted by it, “were you ever in danger of becoming a vessel?” This, no doubt, would be felt as another betrayal.
In this, however, Xigbar could at least offer some solace. “At the rate Xehanort takes to possess people, I doubt it. He seems pretty amateurish about it actually. He really botched the Terra job–almost lost his own memory in the process.”
Saïx’s eyes alighted on him now with keen interest, one might even say he was impressed, though he still managed to sound condescending. “And I suppose you're the expert on this?”
Xigbar merely shrugged. “It's how I've managed to survive for so long. That and a few very strict rules I had to live by. One of which, I just broke for you.”
Saïx raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Which rule was that?”
“That I wouldn't sleep with anyone I knew.”
Saïx became pensive, eyebrows creasing in thought. “That sounds…”
“Depressing?” Xigbar interjected, not looking in his direction.
“Lonely,” Saïx finished softly and Xigbar’s head swiveled over to him, finding quiet contemplation and understanding where he was expecting harsh ridicule and judgement. “So you've never been with the same person twice?”
Xigbar reached down, adjusting the sheet over his crotch to make it more secure. “There were repeats but nothing that ever lasted for very long and always off world from wherever I was. I couldn't risk being found out or getting distracted from the job.” He let his hand rest by his side instead of returning it behind his head, fingers constricting as he said, “In the end, I’d just lose them anyway.”
Saïx watched that hand before lifting his head up to ask, “So you never got to experience love?” His own sheet had been falling progressively lower over the course of their conversation (from where it had begun at his collarbone) but he made no move to fix it.
“Romantic love? No.” Xigbar said to his own feet. “The closest I ever come is when I inhabit a new vessel and get to live vicariously through their memories.”
“Now that's depressing,” Saïx murmured, exhaling as he ran a hand through his hair and rolled onto his back. “But what do I know? I've only been with one person and neither one of us technically had hearts for most of it.”
Xigbar’s head whipped around again. “Ooh?! Was I your first?” He asked testily.
Saïx froze guiltily. “Two,” he added sheepishly, averting his gaze. “Two… people.”
“Yeah, you better count me.” Xigbar eyed him severely before laying his head back down. “I guess we both broke each other's streaks then.”
“So, why'd you do it?” Saïx asked, venturing a quick glance over at him.
Xigbar looked like he was trying to decide whether to answer or not. Eventually he did. “Because I see a lot of myself in you. I think we both do what needs to be done to achieve our goals, including some pretty heinous shit, but… ultimately we're good at heart.”
Saïx’s face hardened at that. “See, that’s where you're wrong. I haven't had a heart for almost half my life and I've never done any good for anyone in my entire life.”
Xigbar’s face softened by contrast. “If that’s true then what are you doing with our imaginary friend?”
Saïx’s blood went cold but he used every ounce of his willpower to school his countenance. He had an answer for this–of course, he did. He’d already rehearsed it. He just needed to relax and recite it like he was in another meeting. But this wasn’t another meeting and both of them had let their guards down considerably. That’s what Saïx had wanted after all (though he ended up getting a lot more than he bargained for) but it was much harder to conceal yourself when you were quite literally naked. It's not like he hadn't had any practice with Xemnas in this regard but Xemnas had always allowed Saïx to distract him, encouraged it even. Saïx didn't think Xigbar would let him off the hook so easily and, for some reason, the idea of using such cheap, obvious tactics on him now suddenly felt unacceptable. He didn’t get the impression Xigbar was trying to blow up his spot but who knew what his real goals were or what kind of tricks a centuries-old psyche had up their sleeve? There was just too much riding on this, too many people–better and more deserving than he–had put their asses on the line (because he asked them to no less) to have it all crumble before it could even get off the ground. Saïx mentally cleared his throat and what came out of his mouth next was nothing short of perfection. “Xion never had the chance to realize her full potential and given her connection to Sora, she can zap his memories and tap into his power, replicating his every move. Why wouldn't we want her on our side?”
“Oh, it's a her now, is it?” Xigbar asked with a wry smile. “You've really come a long way from the old Organization days. Actually, on second thought, even from the last meeting we had with Xehanort.”
Saïx snorted. “More like the Replica Program has. These replicas aren't the defective puppets they used to be. And as we've already established, almost half of the Organization are replicas at this point anyway.”
If Saïx didn't know any better he would've thought Xigbar looked faintly proud. “Good answer!” He replied jovially, startling Saïx as he abruptly hopped off the bed, nudity back on full display. He opened a rift beside him and reached a hand through, digging around like he was rummaging through a drawer until he pulled out his pants from across the room. “I should get going before the old man starts to think I went AWOL.” He said as he yanked his pants up.
“Aren't you actually the old man in this scenario? In every scenario, come to think of it.” Saïx added with his trademark snark.
“Thanks for the reminder.” Xigbar said, insult rolling off his back as he slipped his coat over his shoulders, turning to face Saïx as he untucked his hair. “Here's a mind fuck for you. Xemnas is only 12 years old.”
Saïx’s mouth fell open, denial rising and falling on his tongue before he scoffed and slammed his mouth shut again. His eyes furiously scanned the air in search of a refutation and after a few more false starts, half-uttered monosyllables as he grasped at straws, Saïx closed his mouth, looking largely frustrated and deeply disconcerted.
Xigbar was all ears, staring at him patiently with an exaggerated sense of expectancy. “Cat got your tongue?”
Now this Saïx had a response for. “Don’t act like you have a sudden appreciation for discourse when your constant rebuttal is a two-word catchphrase!”
Xigbar snickered as he zipped up his coat. “Which appears to be catching on.”
Saïx huffed as he crossed his arms over his chest. He felt something then, that is to say, he felt nothing and looked down, realizing for the first time how clean his midsection was. He peaked under the sheet to see if he was missing something before asking, “Hey–what happened to my…?”
Xigbar pulled on his boot, glancing over his shoulder at Saïx to see him pressing a hand against his bare stomach. “Oh, spatial rift.” Xigbar said casually as he grabbed the other boot and started to slip it on. “If my calculations were correct, it should've landed on top of one of the Guardians of Light’s heads.”
Saïx gaped at him, eyes bugging out of his head. “Those are children!” He stated incredulously.
Xigbar tilted his head in consideration as he put his gloves on. “I suppose it depends on when you think life begins but yeah, sure, millions of little Sixys.”
“Not,” Saïx said with his teeth clenched, “my cum.”
Xigbar waved his concerns away as he looked around for his eyepatch and hair tie. “Relax, they'll just think it's bird poop.”
Saïx’s glare became murderous.
“I’m just kidding,” Xigbar said, holding his hands up innocently. He bent down to look under the bed, voice trailing up from below. “I have a long-standing deal with Marluxia to send him all the cum I acquire.”
If possible, Saïx looked even more horrified, like he had just lost the will to ejaculate forever. “I don't want Marluxia anywhere near my cum.”
Xigbar’s face popped up from under the bed with a smirk. His eye was level with the mattress now and he spotted his hair tie folded amongst the sheets and snagged it before he finally located the eyepatch. Unfortunately for him, it was nestled snugly in Saïx's fist. He looked up at the righteous indignation on his gatekeeper’s face and only partially regretted teasing him so relentlessly. “And you didn't acquire it like some oil tycoon who just stumbled upon a reservoir,” Saïx snapped.
“Except I kinda did,” Xigbar threw this last jab in, unable to resist pissing off an already pissed off Saïx, eyepatch be damned. He posted a hand on the bed and leaned over, holding his palm out in front of Saïx. “I'm kidding. It's probably just space jizz by now.”
Saïx continued to glare daggers at him, unclear if his rosy complexion was from embarrassment or outrage. Rather than placing the eyepatch in the outstretched palm, he flicked it at Xigbar, whose lightning fast reflexes enabled him to snatch it out of mid-air. “Thanks,” he said with a roguish grin and it looked suspiciously like he was winking with the way his one eye was sealed shut. He turned around and headed towards the door, pulling his hair back in a tight ponytail.
Saïx settled back against the headboard, watching him leave. “Send my regards to my mother,” he called after him.
“I’m not gonna fuck your mom,” Xigbar replied without turning around, adjusting his eyepatch back in place.
“She probably wouldn’t say no if she’s anything like she used to be,” Saïx muttered with no shortage of contempt.
“I’m not gonna fuck your mom,” Xigbar repeated tersely, turning around to face Saïx, “on the off chance that you might be interested.”
Saïx was struck dumb.
“See you at the showdown, Blue.” Xigbar said as he reached for the doorknob and opened it only to immediately shut it in his own face.
“Oh, and by the way,” he said, turning back to Saïx in an extremely hostile manner, “the next time you get the bright idea to kiss me, I’m not gonna let go. So consider yourself warned.” He opened the door again and stepped out without a second glance, slamming it shut behind him.