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Jay doesn't know how to tell her friends they probably won't ever see her again, they're already the protective type when it comes to their group, not like she's any different, but she doesn't know how to tell them that when she's gone (and she's leaving soon) she'll always love them as her family.
Her mama and papa had always said that family was never just about blood, always treated her friends as family whenever they saw them, which wasn't very often, and now… they'll never see any of them again.
She knew her papa was gone when a police officer had come to tell them, mama wasn't really aware ‘cause of the drugs she was taking so she was the only one the officer was able to tell, she never got the chance to tell her mama… she overdosed just a day or two after.
Her friends were already suspicious of her, her decreasing mood telling them something happened, even though she could barely attend school.
How could she tell them that she was also leaving?
She didn't want them to feel sad, but… she wanted her mama and papa back as well.
She didn't want to give them any hints or anything, but she wanted them to know she loved them.
She decided leaving notes would be her best bet.
—
Hey Dickie.
Sorry I won't be able to make it to your rehearsal, things haven't really been going all too well, I did figure out how to do something that'll make everything better, I just don't want you or the others to see, it's not exactly going to be pretty, y'know.
Please don't think you're responsible in any way shape or form, it was always going to end like this, I was never really the strong one when it came to our group, always getting caught up in my emotions too fast and too hard to be helpful, not being able to attend school all too often really put a damper on my mood too im not gonna lie. All those times I looked strong, it was all just a facade, I only really put it up so I could be safe walking the streets, but I suppose it doesn't really matter now, huh.
I want to thank you, for being there for me, even when I pushed you away ‘cause I was scared. I doubt I would've lasted as long as I did after my mama and papa left if I didn't have you all.
It'll be okay. I had fun, playing all sorts of games with you all, having sleepovers and watching all different movies. It was a nice distraction, but every distraction ends far sooner than anyone wants, and I'm tired. I'm sorry.
Love Jacqueline.
—
After writing Dicks note, she drew a heart and a little Horse at the end before folding it once and carefully putting it to the side.
She still has more notes to write, after all.
—
Hi Cassie.
Sorry I won't be able to help with your English homework anymore, I really liked doing your English work, it was fun, it's just, I won't be around to help anymore, I really wish I could, I'm sorry.
I really wish I could see you become a ballerina one day too, I know you said that's what you wanted to become when you grow up, and if I could, I would've gone to every performance you were in, promise.
Thank you, for being there, your silent support is surprisingly comforting. Just knowing someone you trust is there if you want to talk about it, but never pushing you if you don't, it's nice.
I know we said we'd all be together forever, but forever is a long time, I don't wanna make my mama and papa wait for me forever.
I'm sorry, it'll be okay, I promise, I'll miss dancing and talking with you and the others, all the things we dreamed of but never got to do, maybe you'll finally do them and tell me about it when you see me again, Sorry Cassie.
Love Jacqueline.
—
She draws the same heart again, but she adds a small Panther instead.
—
Heya Steph.
Sorry I won't be able to check out that new movie you've been raving about with you, I'm not exactly gonna be a pretty sight when it does come out, and I don't know if where I'm going will let me spend time with all of you afterwards.
I really wish we could've finished that game at your house that we were halfway done with, but I don't think I'll be able to hold the controller when we planned on playing it.
I really don't know why you were so in awe of me when we first met, like I was somebody that you looked up to, hell, you still do, and I still don't get it, I'm the absolute last person anyone should be looking up to, all I did was get in fights and barely show up to school.
I hope you know that I really appreciate everything you did for me, I loved eating out at batburger with you and teaching you how to spot someone who's trouble, I really hope that you won't have to use certain skills I had to, but hopefully after im gone you'll all be alright, that's the most one can do in a hopeless situation, after all, I'm sorry.
I'll really miss all of you.
Love Jacqueline.
—
One heart, and a small lioness.
—
Hey Timbo.
Sorry I won't be able to help with fixing up your skateboard, sure you can just buy another, but I know Dickie gave that one to you on your birthday, sorry I wasn't able to help a lot before, I was a bit busy, and I can't really help where I'm going, y'know.
I just wish we could've hung out a lot more after school, check out the skatepark more often, where either you or the others would buy some food and let me have some extras. I still don't know why you all buy so much food when you know you're not going to eat it.
I'll miss you, sure you were annoying at times, but you were family in the end. It'll be okay, even if it's not now, it will be soon.
Love Jacqueline.
—
A heart, and a little Monkey.
—
Hey Duke.
Sorry I won't be able to make it to that dinner you and your parents invited us all too, I bet the food will be delicious. I was really looking forward to it as well, but I don't want to make my mama and papa wait any longer for me.
I wish we could've spent more time together, could've gone to all the places you said you'd wanted to visit, maybe you'll still be able to visit them after, I hope you're willing to tell me when we see each other again.
It was fun, hanging out at your place, hearing you complain about school work, making plans for the future and all that, it was nice, being a kid for a little bit.
I'll miss you, hopefully we'll all see each other again one day, not too soon though.
Love Jacqueline.
—
One heart, a small Owl.
—
Hey Dami,
I'm sorry I won't be able to make it to the art exhibition that the school made, even now I know you're going to be the best there.
It would've been really nice if we had more time together, to paint and draw with all of us, play games and just be kids. I hope that when you're older you do get into that art school you were raving about a little while ago, tell me how it is, would ya.
I still wonder why you seem to look up to me like Steph does, it's confusing, I'm not someone people should look up to, maybe after this you'll finally realise that too.
I'll miss painting and drawing stuff at your place, it was rather relaxing, sitting with all of you, no more worries for at least a few hours.
It'll be okay though, I know you're one of the stronger ones in our group, you'll be okay, maybe not now, but it will get better.
Love Jacqueline.
—
One last heart, and one last Leopard.
———
She was done.
All the notes were finished.
Now, she just had to make sure they would be seen after she already did the deed.
She picks them all up, putting them all in her hoodie pocket, she starts walking towards the front door of the apartment she was lucky she hadn't been kicked out of just yet.
As she makes her way to the door, she decides to give them to her neighbour just beside her, the sweet old lady ‘Miss Andrew’ would keep them for her, and only give them to her friends and no one else.
She walks to Miss Andrews' door, knocking softly so she doesn't scare her, “Miss Andrew, are you home?”
The door opens and Miss Andrew smiles at her, “hello love, it's so nice to see ya doin’ okay, I was rather worried after that ‘police officer’” she said with outright disgust “showed up t’ your door, are you alright?”
Jay clutched the notes in her pocket roughly, “eh, not too bad, I jus’... ‘m not gonna be here f’ much longer, gotta find a new place before they kick me, so I probably won't be seein’ ya anytime soon,” she looked sad but understanding at that, they were all just trying to survive, after all, “I was jus’ wonderin’ ‘f you could give these t’ my friends?” She pulled out the notes and held them out for her.
Miss Andrew nodded, “‘course love, I'll let ‘em know when they come over that you're not here anymore” she grabbed the notes with careful hands.
Jay put her hands back in her pocket, she started swaying, like she couldn't keep still, “thanks Miss Andrew, hopefully I'll be able t’ see ya soon” she waved as she started down the stairs.
“Course love, I hope t’ see you soon”
She reached the bottom of the stairs and headed outside, she needed to make her way to Gotham harbour after all.