Chapter Text
Being in love with his best friend was starting to ache in a way that Yuji didn’t know what to do with.
It had started out as a simple crush a few years ago. He’d noticed his heart would beat a little faster when he caught Megumi’s gaze on him, and he’d go home giddy after the two of them would hang out alone together.
A crush was something he could handle; it was lighthearted and fleeting, likely born out of the fact that Megumi was an attractive young alpha that he had spent a lot of time with in his crucial, young adult years.
It was when that crush started to morph into something heavier and more complex that Yuji started to feel conflicted.
Did Megumi feel the same, or did he only see Yuji as a friend? Would it be a bad idea to explore his feelings, and risk the relationship they had painstakingly built since they were teenagers?
Those were the kinds of thoughts that constantly plagued Yuji’s mind as of late.
It only became worse when Megumi decided to move back to his family estate about a year ago.
He had never even fully explained why he had moved, simply just telling Yuji and Nobara it was for personal reasons. Yuji didn’t pry; he knew Megumi would explain it to him eventually when he was ready.
But not having him by his side only made Yuji more aware of how he felt, and how deep his longing ran. It was starting to eat away at him the more time progressed, and he realized he needed to do something about it.
His initial thought was to distance himself from the black-haired alpha to try and lessen the intensity of his feelings.
Regardless of them not being able to see each other often, they still typically texted every day, and Yuji would randomly call him throughout the week to catch up.
Yuji had concluded that maybe if he talked to him a little less, it would alleviate the feelings gnawing away at his chest. So he tried to go a few days between texting, and stopped the calls altogether.
That lasted about two weeks.
Then Megumi had texted him one morning asking Yuji if there was something wrong, or if there was anything Megumi did to upset him.
Yuji was immediately stricken by guilt, not just because Megumi thought he was mad at him, but because he started to think about the fact that Megumi was alone, hours away with a family that he wasn’t even close with.
He couldn’t stand the idea of isolating Megumi or letting him believe he did something wrong just because of his own selfish reasons.
He quickly explained to him that everything was fine, that he had really just been busy, and then everything went back to normal. Meaning Yuji was back to square one.
The next thing he tried was distracting himself by hanging out more with his other friends. He spent most of his free time pestering Nobara in particular (much to her annoyance). The problem with that was, when he was with Nobara, the topic always somehow landed on Megumi.
She was the person closest to him besides Yuji, and the only one who knew that Yuji was in love with him. So naturally, even if Yuji wasn’t the one to bring Megumi up, she would anyway.
“I don’t get why you don’t just tell him how you feel,” she said one of the more recent times they had met up. “You don’t know for sure that he doesn’t feel the same way.”
“I’m pretty positive he doesn’t, Nobara,” Yuji sighed. “He’s never acted like he has. Plus you’re close to him too, and he’s never mentioned me in that way to you either.”
“I mean yeah, but Megumi doesn’t really talk to me about stuff that private anyways,” she said, tapping on her phone while she sipped her soda. “It took him months to even tell me that he has a sister.”
“Either way,” she said looking up at him, “even if he doesn’t feel the same it’s not like he would cut you off. Just might be a little awkward for a bit.”
Yuji pouted further. “Yeah, but I don’t want to make things awkward between us. He’s literally my best friend. No offense,” Yuji added on quickly when Nobara raised a brow.
She rolled her eyes. “I think a little bit of awkwardness is better than this,” she said, gesturing towards Yuji. “Your pining is starting to make me feel pathetic.”
“It’s easy for you to say,” Yuji mumbled. “You have a girlfriend already, so you don’t have to deal with this.”
“I have a girlfriend because I actually confessed to her, idiot.”
Yuji sighed, running his hand through his hair. He knew Nobara had a point. Confessing to Megumi could end really in one of two ways: Megumi feels the same, and they end up together, or he turns Yuji down. If he turned Yuji down, things would be awkward for a while, but at least he would know for sure it’s hopeless.
Yuji felt like part of the reason it was so hard for him to let go of his feelings was because there was still the slight possibility it was mutual.
He knew this was unlike him. Yuji had never been afraid of saying what was on his mind. It was something people found equally annoying as they did endearing. He didn’t know why this situation with Megumi was so different; maybe it was because he had never truly been in love before.
He’d had other crushes, like the tall beta girl that was in his class in middle school, or his handsome alpha homeroom teacher in high school.
But love was new; it was unfamiliar. He’d also known Megumi for so long now that the thought of ruining their friendship because of some concept he didn’t even have a full grasp on was scary.
But he couldn’t keep his feelings to himself forever. It was starting to drive him (and by extension Nobara) crazy.
If distancing himself wasn’t working, he had to try confessing.
That was why a few weeks later, he finally decided he’d go pay Megumi a visit. Every time they met up, Megumi would come to Tokyo. Yuji hadn’t gone to see him in the Kansai region since he had moved there a year ago.
It wasn’t because he didn’t want to; Megumi had just always insisted that there was no need, and that he needed to get a break from his family anyways.
But Yuji had it set in his mind that he was going to confess, so he wanted to put in the effort to go to Megumi. Plus, he wanted to see what his current environment was like, and maybe get a better idea of why he moved away to begin with.
Yuji wouldn’t mind doing long distance, but if things got serious he’d want to be closer to him eventually. Although, he realized he was definitely thinking way too far ahead considering he had no idea if Megumi even liked him in that way.
Megumi had refused at first when Yuji proposed visiting him at his family’s estate, but Yuji was nothing if not persistent. After pestering him for about a week, he relented.
“Fine,” he had said. “You can come if you want to so badly. But just know my family is very… traditional.”
Yuji had just responded that that was fine, and that he’d be there next Saturday.
On the train ride over, it did cross Yuji’s mind that he probably should have had Megumi elaborate a little. Then again, it’s not like anything he said would have stopped him from coming to see him now that he’d made his mind up.
But when Yuji walked up the path leading to the huge gateway entrance, he regretted not asking maybe a few more questions in preparation.
The estate was certainly traditionally Japanese in style, but that’s not really what caught him off-guard. He could tell even from the outside that it was huge.
Yuji recalled Megumi had mentioned that his family was well off, but he was starting to think that may have been an understatement.
Yuji shook his head and took a deep breath before continuing his approach. He was a little nervous, but he was the one who begged Megumi to let him come visit, so he needed to try to relax. The last thing he wanted was for his nerves to rub off on Megumi and make him anxious.
He had always been very perceptive when it came to Yuji’s pheromones. Yuji wore scent patches because ever since he’d presented as an omega, he’d been told his peach and honey smell was strong. But even with him suppressing it, Megumi was still always able to tell when his smell soured slightly from anxiety.
Once Yuji was at the front and he was sure his scent was back to being neutral, he whipped out his phone to text Megumi he was there. But before he could hit send, the gates slowly swung open.
Yuji glanced up from his phone curiously, eyes brightening when he realized it was Megumi. But when he finally took him in in his entirety, Yuji’s jaw immediately dropped.
He was wearing a kimono and a haori. It was all black, simple but sleek, and it contrasted perfectly with his pale skin. Yuji had only ever seen him in casual clothes, so his brain short-circuited momentarily. He looked beautiful.
Thankfully Yuji recovered quickly, a grin splitting across his face.
“Fushiguro!” he called out.” Looking good!”
Megumi rolled his eyes, his lips quirked up in a small smile.
“Everyone here wears this kind of stuff,” he replied, pulling Yuji into a quick hug.
When he breathed in Megumi’s scent, Yuji felt himself relax completely for the first time all day. It was herbal and woody, with a hint of fresh rain. Megumi didn’t wear scent patches, but Yuji never felt like he needed them. His pheromones were mild and soothing.
Yuji looked down at his own clothes once they parted, suddenly feeling terribly underdressed in his jeans, hoodie and jacket.
“Should I have worn something like that too?” he asked sheepishly.
Megumi raised an eyebrow. “Do you even own a kimono?”
“Uhh I’m pretty sure I have a yukata somewhere,” Yuji replied, racking his brain trying to remember the last time he’d seen it.
Megumi snorted. “It’s way too cold for that,” he said. “Don’t worry about it, you’re fine as you are.”
Yuji smiled in relief. “If you say so.”
“I do. Now come on, I’ll show you around.”
Megumi led him inside the compound and Yuji was immediately taken aback by just how huge it was. There were numerous interconnected buildings spread throughout, shrouded in lush greenery. Quite a few people were milling about as well, all dressed in some type of traditional garb.
“Wow,” Yuji said in awe. “You didn’t tell me the estate was this big.”
“…I have a lot of family,” was all Megumi said.
He gave Yuji a quick tour, showing him the courtyard, a martial arts training room, and even an armory where the Zen’ins kept some of their family heirlooms. Yuji was particularly blown away by a sleek katana Megumi showed him that had been passed down for generations.
Unfortunately, when Yuji asked if he could test it out, Megumi had merely swatted him on the head lightly before showing him a bit more of the estate.
Yuji had gotten more than a few curious looks as Megumi led him around, but he tried not to be bothered by it. He definitely stood out just based on his attire alone, plus he doubted Megumi had ever brought a guest before him.
Finally, Megumi took him to his room. He slid open the shoji doors, and Yuji was greeted by a spacious bedroom that was just as traditional as the rest of the house from the tatami flooring to the kotatsu table in the center. Yuji noticed an extra futon had been laid out right next to Megumi’s, and his heart fluttered.
Although the room itself was traditional, there was a TV and Playstation hooked up, as well as a few other personal touches like Megumi’s record player, vinyl collection, and a completely full bookshelf.
Yuji dropped his duffel bag and flopped onto one of the floor cushions at the kotatsu with a sigh.
“Megumii,” he whined, stretching. “That train ride today was way too long.”
Megumi sat down next to Yuji. “You’re the one that insisted on coming here,” he reminded him.
“I know, and I’m glad I did,” Yuji said, smiling at him. “Your house is insane.”
“It’s really not as great as you think,” he replied quietly.
Yuji hummed at that. “I guess something about it does seem a little bit… stuffy,” Yuji said for lack of a better word. He thought of how rigid everyone seemed and the glances that were thrown his way, almost as if he didn’t belong there.
Megumi huffed a short laugh. “That’s one way to put it.”
Suddenly, Yuji was struck by a thought. “Hey Megumi,” he said. “Do you not have many women in your family?”
Megumi seemed to stiffen a little at that.
“What makes you ask?”
“I just didn’t really see any while you were showing me around,” Yuji replied.
They had passed by a lot of men, and Yuji could tell from the scents of the ones they got close to that they were almost all alphas.
Megumi was quiet for a second before answering.
“It’s true men make up most of my family. Alpha men, to be specific. There are women living here though,” he explained. “Most of them are omegas.”
“But?” Yuji prompted, sensing there was more Megumi wanted to say.
“I told you my family is very traditional,” Megumi said hesitantly.
“So, what does that mean?”
Megumi paused again, as if he was trying to think carefully about how to phrase what he wanted to say. After a while he just sighed, rubbing his hand down his face.
“My family’s extremely patriarchal,” he said bluntly. “The women here don’t have the same amount of freedom as the men. They mostly stay inside, towards the back of the estate.
“On top of that, they care way too much about secondary gender,” he continued. “A man should be an alpha and a woman should be an omega. The betas barely get a pass, but they’re treated as second rate.
“I obviously don’t agree with them,” Megumi added quickly, looking at Yuji. “I think it’s disgusting. But I don’t have the power to change how things are around here yet.”
Yuji felt his stomach twist uncomfortably at that.
“So…” he said slowly. “What do they think about female alphas and male omegas then?”
Yuji knew that female alphas and male omegas were rare, but they weren’t non-existent, obviously. What role did they have according to Megumi’s family? If he was a part of the family, what part would he play?
Megumi looked at him, his frown deepening. “They don’t have a place here,” he said. “Not yet.”
Yuji’s heart thudded uncomfortably in his chest. He knew Megumi was just being honest with him, but it didn’t hurt any less to hear.
“Is that why everyone was looking at me weird earlier?” Yuji asked quietly.
Megumi’s deep green eyes widened slightly at that. “What? No,” he said firmly. “I never told anyone here what your gender was. It’s none of their business. They just always look at outsiders like that.”
Yuji nodded, but he still felt uneasy. He had never been ashamed of being an omega, nor had he felt like it was something to hide until now. A part of him wondered too if Megumi just couldn’t tell his family that his friend was an omega.
Megumi must have sensed Yuji’s anxiety, because he subtly pumped out more of his own soothing scent. They both sat like that for a while, lost in thought.
“You know my cousin Maki?” Megumi asked, breaking the silence.
“Yeah,” Yuji replied. “Nobara’s girlfriend.”
Megumi nodded. “She’s an alpha. To say she had it rough around here growing up is an understatement. I don’t know all of it since I grew up outside of the main family, but she told me some,” he said solemnly.
Yuji hung around Maki fairly often because of Nobara, and she had never once spoken about her family. Yuji wouldn’t have even known she was a Zen’in if Nobara hadn’t told him. But hearing Megumi explain their dynamics, it made sense why.
“I didn’t know people still cared about secondary gender like that,” Yuji mumbled. “What difference does it even make outside of pheromones and sex.”
Megumi shook his head at that, the tips of his ears turning slightly pink. “I don’t even think they know. It’s just what they’ve been taught. Stuff like alpha males are strong and intelligent, while omega women are submissive and meant to serve. A bunch of archaic bullshit.”
“But Megumi,” Yuji asked, looking at him intently. “If your family sucks so bad, why did you move back here?”
Megumi grew serious at that again, looking away from Yuji to stare at his hands.
“My great-uncle isn’t doing well. And before you say anything,” he added quickly when he noticed Yuji about to speak, “I’m not close with him. I like him about as much as the rest of my family.
“But, he’s the current head of the Zen’in clan,” he continued. “He reached out to me a year ago when he found out he was sick, because he’s considering me as the next head of the family,” Megumi finished, glancing at Yuji to gauge his reaction.
“Uh,” Yuji said, rubbing the short hairs at the nape of his neck. “Sorry ‘Gumi, but what does that mean exactly?”
All this talk about family, clans, tradition, and gender was starting to make Yuji’s head spin.
Megumi laughed softly at that. “It means I’d inherit most of the family’s assets and businesses.”
Yuji raised his eyebrows. “So what, you’d be rich?”
“Yeah, basically.”
Yuji’s mouth formed a little ‘O’ before he nodded, urging Megumi to continue.
“I wouldn’t have been interested before,” Megumi said, brows furrowing. “I had no intention of ever associating with my family. But, you remember Tsumiki right?”
“Of course,” He knew Tsumiki was Megumi's sister. They weren’t related by blood, but they grew up together. Yuji had met her a few times, but she fell ill not too long before Megumi had moved.
Suddenly, Yuji had a pretty good idea where this conversation was going.
“Her treatment cost,” Yuji said solemnly.
Megumi nodded. “I wouldn’t have to worry about how I’m going to afford her medical bills,” he said. “And I could get her the best doctors in the country.”
It all made sense to Yuji now, and his heart ached for his friend. He reached his hand out, placing it on top of Megumi’s resting on the floor.
Megumi looked at him, his eyes softening and his pheromones growing even more gentle.
“That’s a lot to shoulder by yourself, Megumi,” Yuji said. “You should have told me.”
“I wanted to,” he admitted. “But I was waiting until things seemed more official.
“I’m glad you came to see me though, Yuji,” he added quietly.
Yuji’s heart fluttered in his chest. God, he wanted to kiss him so bad. The light from outside was streaming in gently through the thin, shoji doors, illuminating Megumi in a soft glow. He looked angelic, too beautiful to put in words.
But when Yuji thought about his original intentions to confess his feelings, suddenly everything felt wrong.
Megumi had a lot riding on becoming the head of his family. His sister’s life may depend on it. If his family was as strict as he claimed, there was no way they would be okay with Megumi having a relationship with Yuji. He doubted his gender could stay a secret forever, and Megumi had told him clear as day how they felt about male omegas, how they had no place here. Yuji wouldn’t be surprised if they told Megumi he either needed to stop seeing Yuji, or he couldn’t be the next clan head.
If that was the case, it wasn’t likely Megumi would accept and return his love right now when it came with that much risk.
And there was no way Yuji was selfish enough to expect him to.
Plus, even if he waited until Megumi was named clan head, how long would it take before Megumi could even consider a relationship? His first priority would be making sure Tsumiki was taken care of, then who knows how many other responsibilities he’d have to take over.
Yuji hadn’t even confessed, and he felt as good as rejected.
He gave Megumi a smile, trying to fight the lump forming in his throat. He needed to be strong for him, always. That was his role; he was the light by Megumi’s side when things got hard.
He swallowed and jerked his head towards his Playstation.
“Wanna play?” he asked.
Megumi leaned back and stretched. “Only if you’re ready to lose.”
The two of them spent the rest of their evening playing games, watching movies, and enjoying each other’s company. They ate their dinner in the courtyard, and only spoke about everyday life.
The only time Yuji brought up his family again, was to ask Megumi who would be the clan head if it wasn’t him.
“My older cousin,” he replied with a hint of disdain. “But even though he’s my uncle’s son, he doesn’t really think he’d be a good fit. He’s arrogant, lazy, and selfish. You’d understand if you met him.”
Yuji had merely nodded before changing the subject again.
That night when they got ready for bed and laid down in their futons, they continued to whisper and laugh until Megumi drifted off first.
Yuji’s heart felt full as he took in his sleeping face. It reminded him of their freshman year of college six years ago, when they shared a dorm.
Now Yuji was in grad school and Megumi was about to become the wealthy head of his family.
Even though they were laying right next to each other, Yuji had never felt more of a distance between them.
He breathed in Megumi’s familiar scent until sleep overtook him.
Yuji had classes Monday, so he needed to head back to Tokyo the following morning. They had breakfast together, and when it was time for Megumi to see him off, Yuji visibly deflated.
Megumi rolled his eyes before ruffling Yuji’s hair. “I’ll come see you soon,” he said. “And if I can’t for some reason, you’re welcome back here. Next time we’ll go into the city.”
Yuji perked up a little at that, flashing Megumi a grin. “I guess I’ll take you up on that offer then.”
They hugged before they departed, Yuji letting it linger a little longer than he normally would have.
On the train ride home, Yuji’s heart was flooded with different emotions all swirling around tumultuously. He ached the further the train took him away from Megumi.
When he finally arrived back at his dorm, he undressed, laid down, and only then did he let the lump in his throat he felt before fully take shape. He cried himself into a fitful sleep before the sun was even down.
When Yuji woke up, it was dark outside. He checked his phone and saw that it was 10 PM the same day. His head was throbbing and he could feel how puffy his eyes were. He immediately opened up his message thread with Nobara.
Yuji: Nobara
Nobara: Hey lover boy. How did it go?
Yuji: Not how I wanted.
Nobara: Oh shit
Nobara: Maki and I planned to get drinks tomorrow night. Meet us after your classes?
Yuji: Please
Yuji swiped out of their messages and saw Megumi had texted him, saying he hoped he made it back safe and to text him tomorrow. Yuji set his phone down and groaned.
Why couldn’t he at least be a little bit of an asshole?
***
Yuji’s classes the next day went by in a blur, and he unfortunately knew he was going to have to do double the studying later in the week.
He quickly showered and changed before heading out to meet Nobara and Maki at the small izakaya they liked to go to not far from where Yuji lived.
When he walked into the dim bar, he saw both of them were already there, sitting in a booth towards the back.
He slid into the seat across from them, and Nobara handed him his favorite beer.
Yuji smiled for the first time all day. “This is why you’re my favorite.”
Nobara rolled her eyes. “Don’t flatter me. What happened? There’s no way that idiot rejected you.”
Yuji glanced between her and Maki before sighing and taking a sip of his drink. “No, he didn’t. I never even confessed.”
Both girls raised an eyebrow.
“You took a three hour train ride to that shithole just to not even confess?” Maki asked.
“I had every intention to,” Yuji pouted. “But I wasn’t prepared for everything he told me about his family.”
“What, about them being women haters?” Nobara deadpanned.
“Well… yeah. And the whole secondary gender thing too.”
“Are you really going to let what his family thinks about you stop you from telling him how you feel?” Nobara asked.
Yuji groaned. He really wished he could tell them about Megumi potentially having to take over as the clan head so that his reservations would make more sense, but he didn’t feel it was right to share that.
“It’s more than that,” he muttered. “I can’t really say what, but everything is just complicated.”
He locked eyes with Maki, and swore that he saw a flash of understanding in her eyes.
“So,” she said. “What now? No offense, but I’m kind of tired of you third wheeling on all our dates.”
Nobara took a sip of her lemon sour, clearly trying to fight back a laugh.
“I feel like I just need to either wait for him to confess, or move on,” Yuji said, pointedly ignoring Maki’s last comment. “Whichever happens first, I guess.”
“You probably need to get laid,” Nobara said. “I can smell the desperation on you.”
Yuji glared at her. “You’re a beta, you can’t smell anything.”
“Definitely can, loser. And I mean it, I feel like you need to just put yourself out there.”
“It’s not like I’ve just been sitting here saving myself for him. I’ve hooked up with other people.” Yuji argued.
“I’ve only ever heard you mention sleeping with beta women before,” Nobara pointed out. “If you weren’t so obsessed with Megumi, I’d think I was your type.”
All three made a look of disgust at that.
“Don’t joke like that,” Yuji said, taking a sip of his drink. “And alphas are just… kind of intimidating, okay?” Yuji glanced over at Maki, and she flashed him a toothy grin.
“But not Megumi?” Nobara asked.
“No, not Megumi.”
“You never know though,” Nobara said. “You might meet another alpha you like if you were more open to the idea.”
“I don’t even know where to meet them,” Yuji mumbled. “No one in my classes or at my job has interested me.”
“There’s places specifically for alphas and omegas to meet,” Nobara said. “I’ve even heard of people talking about a bar not too far from here that’s like that.”
Maki nodded, and Yuji really didn’t have many other reasons to disagree with them. He knew that they had a point. He wasn’t going to wake up one morning to find the one-sided affection he’d held onto for years had disappeared overnight.
But something about hooking up with another alpha felt wrong. It made his stomach twist with anxiety. He guessed maybe a part of him was saving himself for Megumi, as stupid as it was.
Maybe he was just stupid.
Yuji changed the subject after that, and neither of his friends pushed the topic further.
***
When Yuji went home that night, his thoughts were filled with deep green eyes, black hair, and the smell of tea, cedar, and rain.
He thought about the brief feeling of Megumi’s solid arms around him as he embraced him, and how soft his lips looked when he slept.
Yuji laid in bed, hands fiddling with the hem of his sleep shorts before dipping them below the waistband. He gently stroked the velvety smooth skin of his hardening cock for only a moment, before sliding his fingers lower to circle his hole.
He rarely touched himself there outside of his heat, but tonight he felt like he needed more. He was craving intimacy deep in his core.
He rubbed at his entrance until he started to feel slick dribble out and soak the pads of his fingers. He applied the barest hint of pressure, teasing the tight rim of muscle before slowly sinking inside with a sigh.
As he pleasured himself, he pictured hands that weren’t his own, fingers that were slightly thinner but longer, skin that was paler. He tried to imagine a deep, cool voice whispering his name in his ear as he touched the most sensitive spot inside of him.
Yuji’s fingers and shorts were completely soaked by the time he came, the name of his best friend spilling from his mouth into the dark, empty room.
He didn’t think he could do this for much longer.