Chapter Text
Author's notes: Spoilers, 1.01-1.02 "Broken Bow," 1.05 "Unexpected," 1.19 "Acquisition," 1.24 "Desert Crossing," 1.25 "Two Days And Two Nights," 2.09 "Singularity," 2.22 "Cogenitor," 2.24 "First Flight," 2.25 "Bounty," 3.02 "Anomaly," 3.05 "Impulse," 3.07 "The Shipment," 3.08 "Twilight," 3.09 "North Star," 3.10 "Similitude," 3.17 "Hatchery."
A meditation on the current queer rights/genderblind movement (esp. the whole gay marriage fiasco), and stereotypes in general. Sorry Trip is kind of a jerk to begin with, at least he's a lovable jerk. In contrast to the "regrets" universe, neither character is blameless. But that's life. Aimee Mann kicks ass, the title song is on her latest album, Lost in Space. I highly recommend it. Also, I'm pretending that the mess that was Harbinger never happened. "I'm all about denial," after all. I've put warnings around the NC-17 bits so you don't have to read them if you don't like. My first slash sex scene, yah!
Beta readers: Thanks bandybones, for putting up with me and taking on such a huge project, when it probably wasn't what you expected.
...But, oh, Mario, we're only to Ohio
It's kind of getting harder to breath
I won't let it show, I'm all about denial
But can't denial let me believe
That we could talk about it
But we can't talk about itBecause nobody knows that's how I nearly fell
Trading quotes and ringing Pavlov's bell
History shows, but rarely shows it wellOh Mario, why if this is nothing
I'm finding it so hard to dismiss
If you're what I need then only you can save me
So come on baby give me the fix
And let's just talk about it
I've got to talk about it...—Aimee Mann, Pavlov's Bell
"You're going to love this, Trip." Jon smiled enthusiastically the moment his best friend walked in the door.
"New beer?" As though they were going to find more beer in the Expanse. Jon rolled his eyes.
"Nope."
"New water polo match?"
"Nope."
"Mud wrestling?"
"Wrong again."
"Are you going to make me stand here all night guessing or are you gonna spill?" He plopped down on the couch grabbing a bottle of the usual Japanese beer Jon seemed so fond of (he blamed Hoshi for that one) and stared at the captain expectantly.
"Well I could tell you, but that would spoil all the fun."
Trip punched him in the arm playfully, not that it still didn't hurt. "Come on, Cap'n, the anticipation is killing me."
Jon took one look into those pouting blue eyes and submitted with a mock sigh, "Fine, fine. While I was on the bridge today, going over your infinitely interesting report on the effect of impurities in the dilithium crystals and warp field fluctuations, we received a subspace message. It was a very exciting message, so much so that Ensign Sato had the nerve to interrupt me just as I was getting to climax of your report. Those muons, who knows when they will decided to change polarity!" Jon teased with a shit-eating grin.
Trip rolled his eyes, "Very funny, Jon. I happen to take my reports very seriously."
"And Starfleet R&D hangs on your every word."
"All the more reason to write a whole lot of them," he grinned mischievously, though it seemed a hollow facsimile of the smile Jon remembered, the smile before the Expanse. Even dulled as it was, Jon found it enrapturing, easily drawing him out of the cloud of single-minded professional dedication this mission had laid on him.
"Fine for the R&D guys, but I have to read them too!"
"Seriously, Cap'n. Minute fluctuations in the warp field didn't matter before, but with the gravitational anomalies of the Expanse..."
Jon held up his hands in surrender, "No talking shop in my quarters. Porthos doesn't like it when we talk over his head."
"Hmmm...Porthos doesn't like it, eh? I guess you'll just have to stop stalling and tell me about that transmission, without giving the reaction of every member of the senior staff and Chef to boot!"
Jon leaned back, taking a triumphant sip of beer and rested his hand on the top of the couch behind Trip's shoulders. Trip didn't even notice. He simply turned to Jon and glared. Jon had to resist putting his arm around him just then. He loved that playfully indignant look on his friend's face. "It's all about the presentation, Trip."
"Whatever. If you don't tell me now, I'm going to conveniently forget to maintain the gravity plating in your quarters, hopefully when you're in the shower."
"Are you threatening a senior officer, Commander?" Jon tried desperately to sound serious with a Vulcan-worthy eyebrow raise, but failed miserably. It felt so good to resume their usual banter. Until now, he hadn't realized how much he missed this. They'd been so preoccupied with their mission that they hadn't had the time to put into these casual meetings, or their friendship for that matter. Trip was growing closer to T'Pol (not that Jon was at all jealous) and Jon was growing closer to the mission. They could still read each other in an instant, and this wasn't at all awkward, it just wasn't what it once was. Even now they couldn't quite forget the sword hanging over their heads: the mission, the reasons for it, the fact that this was probably just the calm before the storm.
"Not threatening, just informing him of the risks associated with annoying the chief engineer."
Jon sighed in mock exasperation. "Alright, you win. We got a transmission asking to help a colony that opposes the Xindi to fix their...drum roll please...shield generators."
Trip leapt off the sofa to look Jon in the eyes. Jon missed the proximity of his body almost immediately. "Are you serious?"
"When am I ever not?"
Jon could see the slight panic in Trip's eyes before he smirked. Am I really getting detached enough for Trip to actually hesitate on that? he thought. "I could write a book on the subject, Jon. But anyway, do you know what a stable shield technology could do for us?"
Jon just nodded, grinning from ear to ear.
"I bet you Malcolm's chomping at the bit."
"He already submitted several formal requests to join the away team. I had to reject them, however. The Anatman are committed pacifists. That's why they oppose the Xindi. I don't think Malcolm's particular brand of diplomacy will go over well there. I doubt they would react well to Mr. Walk-softly-and-carry-a-couple-of-phase-cannons inspecting their shield generators."
Trip chuckled, "So that's what that dark cloud I saw marching off to the mess hall was."
"I'm afraid so. Malcolm is the shield expert, after all. Shame to lose his talents."
"I think I can function perfectly well without him, thank you. I didn't get to be Chief Engineer of the first warp 5 Starship by twiddlin' my thumbs, did I? Besides, Malcolm's a great friend, but he sure is a pain in the ass to work with. 'Trip, you only checked the alignment three times; shouldn't you do it again, just to make sure? Need I remind you, Commander, that we are alone in hostile territory; our weapons systems are top priority. Trip, do you have to do that engine diagnostic right now when the forward torpedo tubes need cleaning?'"
Jon laughed, motioning for Trip to return to his seat, "I thought we agreed, no shop."
"You were the one who brought it up, Cap'n."
Jon scowled, though his eyes were smiling. Teasing Trip would never get old.