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Nayuta closed the door behind him with his foot, Kanata wrapped around his wrist. He balanced the takeout bags along his forearm and wobbled under the weight, but it wasn’t like he was gonna shake Kanata off, not when he faced a single pair of slippers on the genkan step with his own identical pair lined neatly under the slipper rack, out of sight. The sun peaked past the window frame and over the expanse of the doorway, over their shoes and over the living room floor where Kanata had left the place near spotless.
He dropped their food off on the table, condensation on his fingers. He pulled Kanata along with him, awkwardly bent over each other, and slotted his hand neatly into his brothers. He squeezed, and Kanata scowled at him for it, but he couldn’t bring himself to give a shit. It was a miracle they could be together again, one he wouldn't take for granted.
“Eat now or sleep?” He whispered. The house called for it with the dust bunnies floating by the beams of sunlight and his brother’s shaky breathing.
Kanata hummed, his shoulders tense. They walked past the nightclub on the street and some lady with a man on her arm looked them up and down like underfed mutts in an alleyway. The weight of her gaze was still there, heavy on top of their skin. “Later.”
“It’ll be cold.”
“So?”
Nayuta grabbed the bags and slung them into the fridge. He made sure to keep his hand firmly in Kanata’s. He knew the absence of it would draw unnecessary attention. “Come on then, I’ll take closest to the door.”
Kanata frowned, “No, I’ll take it.”
“But I really want that spot. You're gonna deny me it?”
“You never want that spot. Closest to the wall is warmer.”
“Hm, well, I want the extra room today.”
Kanata looked away like he knew he would, the big softie. He chuckled, dragged him to their bedroom door and allowed Kanata to shuffle around him to swing it open.
A figure stood framed by the streetlights creeping through their bedroom window, their eyes bright and unseeing. Kanata stopped dead in his tracks and flinched out of Nayuta’s hold. He clung tight to the doorway and gasped like a tragedy was happening right in front of him. Nayuta tried and failed to nudge him out the way. He stood on his tiptoes.
At the other end of the room was another Nayuta. Its body was covered in metal corrosion, its hair matted with blood. Nayuta put his hands on Kanata’s shoulders and tried to tug him out of the room. His breaths were quick under his hands and when Nayuta peaked at his face his brother’s eyes were wide and terrified.
“Kanata, it’s not real.” He shook him. “Look at me, come on. Let’s close the door. You’re panicking.”
Kanata wouldn’t look at him. “But… Nayuta.”
“I’m Nayuta, remember? I’m right here.”
He shook his head. They stepped out of the doorway, but as Nayuta reached around his brother for the doorknob Kanata latched onto it tight and flung himself out of Nayuta’s hold and into the room. He dropped to his knees with a harsh thud, and that’s when Nayuta knew this would become a whole thing. If his body refused to listen to him, then he wouldn’t be able to hear what Nayuta said to him. And he knew Kanata made another Nayuta with his phantometal. He knew that. He thought it was a comfort to his brother. He had know idea how much of a ghost he had become in his brother’s life. How much it haunted him.
Kanata’s eyes were closed, his head in his hands. The other Nayuta stood eerily in front of the window, suspended in animation while Kanata wrangled with his emotions. He could tell it wasn’t working well.
“Kanata,” it said, and Nayuta bristled. How dare it torment his brother. How dare anything hurt Kanata.
Nayuta grabbed the nearest weapon he could find, a hand weight left on their bedroom floor. He whacked his doppelganger on the head with it. The thump echoed through his arm and around the room, and Kanata snapped his eyes open to watch the fake Nayuta slump lifelessly to the ground. Blood pooled from the head wound, and its eyes were open and lifeless.
His scream was like a shotgun, “Nayuta!”
“Kanata, look at me!” He cried. Kanata’s fingernails dug deep into his arms as he scrambled to climb over Nayuta like a dune of quicksand. If he managed to knock them both over, would he trample him? What shape would his face make when he realised which one of them was real?
“Nayuta! Nayuta!”
He slapped his hands on each of Kanata’s cheeks with minimal cuffing around his ears, hair caught between his fingers and curling into Kanata’s eyes. Their gazes locked, and his heart squeezed like a weight crushed his organs. He pressed their forwards together and enveloped the room as much as he could with his presence, swiped at wet and reddened cheeks with his thumb. With any luck, Kanata would forget where he was entirely, just the two of them in a void. Just two.
He squirmed, but Nayuta held on. “Look at me. I’m right here, just look at me.”
“Nayuta—”
“He’s not real, he’s just an illusion. He’s not real, okay? He’s not real.” He pressed their foreheads together. “That’s it, keep your eyes on me, okay? I’m here, I'm safe. He’s not real.”
Slowly, Kanata relaxed into him. He hiccuped his way through his breaths, and Nayuta clung desperately to the back of his shirt and rocked them both on his heels. Eventually he passed out, exhausted. When Nayuta turned around his doppelgänger was gone.
With some effort he lifted Kanata onto the nest of pillows and quilts on the other end of the room, stacked by a stuffed animal or two. Kanata’s breath hitched in his sleep, close to a whine, and so Nayuta msde extra effort to tuck his brother nice and neat under the covers.
Kanata did so much for him; always kept him safe. Sometimes he wondered if Kanata knew how much he loved him, or if after he spent so long living with a brother that was made from his memories he forgot what was real and what wasn’t.
He’d have to remind him. How much he needed his brother, and how no matter what, he’d keep him safe and repay the favour.
He fell on top of the covers with his back to the door and settled into an uneasy sleep.
.