Chapter Text
Tap tap. “Is it-“ tap. “Do you got it Lestat?”
“I know what I’m doing, Mon, Ami.” Lestat scowled as he attempted to set up the camera. He nearly rolled his eyes.
They’d been setting up the camera for quite a while. The idea of a podcast came from a sudden rush of drunk thoughts and immature debates neither of them could seem to listen nor agree on. In the spare of a couple hours or days a conversational list was made and a camera (which the still hadn’t managed to set up) was ordered on Amazon. The two impatient men locked themselves into an ‘aesthetically’ sterile white room with some vines hanging on the walls, a large fully white carpet settled in between their two white cup shaped chairs.
Two lamps behind their chairs created a soft warmth of orangish yellow background. And on the rug sat a small table with one mug shaped as a coffin filled with black coffee on the right, and another shaped as a purple guitar sat on the left.
Louis jumped to his feet ready to do anything to rid his feelings of boredom. “You don’t know what you’re doing. Here let me just-“
Lestat snatched the camera back into his hold. “I’ve got this. I am a rockstar I know how this technology thing goes, Louis.” He cornered the camera into a little corner of his body to block away from Louis, who was trying to snatch it away from his arms.
“Well clearly you don’t because the camera not even-“
“Oh here comes the camera police. Didn’t know I needed a license to turn on a button.”
“Lestat! Just let-“
BEEEP.
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Louis’s voice was playful and sweetly energetic as he started.
“Hello everyone. Welcome to YouTube channel and podcast of the Double L’s” he looked over to Lestat who seemed alright with the name. “You may know me as Louis de Point Du Lac. I model for agencies like Top Models magazines and I’m a well known movie star for films like ‘Vangs Prevailed.’” lestat snorted from across the room at the cocky smile that plastered Louis’s face. “Across from me sits my dramatically ignorant and handsome husband.” Brown eyes flickered across the room to Lestat. He ran his hand through his hair before pushing the black sunglasses he wore up onto his head. Talk about dramatic.
It was Louis’s turn to snort at his nonsense.
“Mon, Cher, why such a vile description of me? I’m not so dramatic as I am ‘real.’” he winked at the camera and Louis turned his head towards the wall. “He’s laughing but only because I am simply hilarious and beautiful. Anyways, for those unfortunate few who don’t know who I am. People know me by Lestat Lioncourt. No we unfortunately don’t share last names but that’s discussion worth for another day. For now we’ll go into our first topic,“
“Which is-“ Louis cut in. “Oui-“ Lestat scowled. Louis continued. “Who’s the main character of our relationship.” Louis glanced at Lestat then behind Lestat to see Claudia nodding her head proudly. It had taken Louis nearly for attempts to remember their theme but maybe fourth times an actual charm.
Lestat sighed heavily and frowned at the camera.
“so now Louis interrupts the star of the show. How side character-ish-“
“Words said a side character. But no, in all seriousness vamps-“
Louis’s words seemed to have capture Claudia’s attention. “Wait a second.“ Claudia jolted to her feet and came down from the hidden staircase behind the camera. “You guys named your subscribers…Vamps?” A distasteful look rested over her face. She flopped her arms against her side as she raised a brow.
“Well Mon, Pei-“
“No. Change it.”
“Ok…” Louis said, knowing there wasn’t any debating when it came to her. He looked to Lestat. “How about….stars?” Then back to Claudia.
“No.”
“Fans?” Lestat offered.
“No.” She rolled her eyes.
“Bats?”
Claudia groaned. “Definitely not.”
“Milkweeds?”
“Mhm..” She paused for a second as if deeply considering the cons to the pro’s. “Good, a little strange but good enough. Ok keep going.” She clapped, running back behind the stairs to click the camera back on.
“So” Louis continued. “Me and Lestat came a truce. I tell you guys why I, Louis am the main character.”
“And why I, lestat am actually the real main character.”
“You wish.”
“You suck.” Lestat winked as he brought the mic closer to his mouth.
“I’m cutting that out.”
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Louis let out a low chuckle. “I’ll start from the beginning then, to all my va- milkweeds… out there watching me, I appreciate the support. Now to everyone just now finding out about de Louis Du Lac, I’ll have to let you know why I’m the main character.” Louis slid back fully into his chair and crossed a leg over to his right knee. “Lestat, feel free to add your unwarranted input anyways.”
“I didn’t need an offer, Mon, Cher.”
“Right, so it all started when I was 19.” Louis hardly got his sentence in before he heard soft snickers. “They’re both laughing to me.” He frowned. “With time only will the understand the greatness of me.”
They laughed harder.
Louis spoke louder. “When I was 19 I worked at a local dancing company in New Orleans. They had a specialized department for ballet. Yes, men do ballet.”
“Well, how good is the question.” Louis shoot Lestat a look and saw the shit eating grin he wore.
“I was decent.” He shrugged. “In fact I was so decent that it landed me a spot on award winning film Wrinkles Of The Feathers. Which now stands at about six Oscars and twenty four nominations in the staffs picks.” He shot Lestat a smug look but Lestat grinned and sat back. His blue eyes gleaming a bit too proud to show competition.
“Mhmm impressive I’ll give you that. So you are what, 24 now in this?”
“Funny. I was only 20 by the time I was gaining awards. By the time I was 24 I had five movies that made it to the Oscars, three TV shows that casted me as main lead and a professional dancing contest under my belt. Yet dancing remained and still remains a hobby.” A smile bloomed as Louis thought back to the younger him, who’d been extremely ambitious in everything he did. He shook his lead nearly baffling he’d ever been able to do so much of that and yet somehow pulled it all off.
“To keep a longer story short, at 25 I wrapped up my dancing career to become a full time actor and now I can say it’s done me quite well.” He looked over to Claudia who turned away quickly but she clearly looked pretty proud. “With agencies blowing up my phone every five minutes and the paparazzi stalking my location every two weeks.” Louis laughed but part of him grimaced.
Lestat cleared his throat. “He forgot to mention that he crashed into a real main character sometime between then. And hints Lestat came into the picture.” Louis let out a half laugh and sigh.
“Go on Lestat, tell the world or whoever’s watching why you’re the side character.”
“You mean main-“
“No I-“
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Beep. “Action.”
“Hello beautiful ones, the camera had died to no one’s surprise.” Lestat looked to Claudia who purposely avoided looking his way. “But as the saying goes, sometimes the brightest stars just blind everyone. Aka me.” Lestat purred, sitting up tall and staring into the camera.
“No one says that.” Claudia whispered.
“I thought the brightest stars burned out quick.” Louis deadpanned.
“Only if you’re not bright enough, but I am. Which is why I’ll tell our milkweeds why I’m the main character. So listen closely Mon, Ami’s.”
Louis could feel the eye roll coming. He trapped his smile in between his coffin cup and took a deep long sip as Lestat started his story excitingly.
“Well since we’re starting young, I was but a nine year old boy, yes nine, not nineTEEN, playing any instrument I could. Of course I started off with nothing much. A wooden harp, two sick and a table but as you can tell my love for music was strong and flowing through my blood. By the age of thirteen, I’d had met a profound musical instructor, intense he was but he taught me how to play my first two loves. The guitar and the piano. From there it only went up for the star of the shows.” Lestat leaned against the chair and braced an arm onto the ledge.
“What kind of up are we talking here? Up as in up- side down.” Louis remarked.
Lestat let a silence fill the air. “…Lame.” Claudia through in.
“As Claudia would say ‘cringe.’” Lestat teased before continuing. “But no, It meant up as in flying endlessly to different countries to preform shows. I took a love for the piano more than the guitar at the age, so I had many years of beautiful solos, flowers thrown, maybe hundreds of youth awards and countless international awards. So many that I could barely fit them on my walls at home.”
“Cough cough, yeah, awards of fake matter and invisible space.”
Lestat looked at Louis who clearly knew that joke didn’t land either. But for all of Louis’s seriousness he could tell was trying. “Oh, Mon, Cher.” He nearly laughed.
“Focus.” Louis snapped.
“Right, sorry my milkweeds. As I was saying, the greatest (me) turned 21 eventually, I gathered a band together and went on a world tour straight to England then North America. I’ve got to say, rock bands were cool but Lestat (aka me) was simply the greatest. So me and my bandmates gathered rapid succession in a blink of an eye. By 25 I had six albums out, might I add every song from each got one or multiple Grammies. Countless tours, in fact I can’t wait to see some of you milkweeds in a few months and of course I met my amazing and wonder husband.” Lestat added seemingly still unfocused.
“Lestat you’re getting completely unfocused.”
“Maybe but seeing you attempt to be funny is endearing.”
“Right.”
“OK!” Claudia jumped to her feet again, seemingly to aware of what was happening. “Well guys there you have it. That’s double L’s for you. Now tell me, did they both take an L or is one of them actually the main character. Personally I think I’m the main character and they didn’t wanna admit it. Anyways, cya guys next podcast or if you’re watching this YouTube then next video.”
“Bye my milkweeds.” Lestat waved.
“Goodbye until next time.” Louis said.
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(Claudia made us say this)
Disclaimer: everything we say in this video is fake under regards to all legal matters. We are not rich. We make no money. We don’t live in a mansion. Thank you our milkweeds.