Chapter Text
It hadn’t been Trinity’s plan to piss anyone off today.
In all honesty, it was never really her plan, but it always seemed to happen whether she liked it or not. Normally, she’d let it roll off her back, hide behind a handful of quips and jokes with a facade of nonchalance that she was used to keeping up. It had been harder recently though. Sometime around when Robby had left, maybe. Which happened to be around the same time that Huckleberry had started house sitting for him. And that happened to be around the last time that she had been over to Garcia’s place.
Since then, it had been a lot of late nights spent charting, or sleeping in her car when the quiet of the apartment was too much for her.
She hated how she had let herself get to this point. For half of her life, she had braved it alone and not cared what anyone else thought of it. It was easier that way. But this was different. And coming into work was somewhere between respite and a salt shaker dusting over her wounds to keep them sore.
Trinity wasn’t sure what kind of day today was. What she did know was that Al-Hashimi was still riding her ass about staying on top of her charts, Langdon had slithered back into resident life like he’d never been away, and everyone else seemed to keep their heads above the water just fine. Unlike her. It made her feel like an idiot. Like she was missing something that everyone else could see as clear as day.
The July weather had stopped in a rare lull over the past few days, making way for a rainy start to August that everyone was grateful for. It wasn’t that it was that much colder - though no one was quite confident enough that the air conditioning was going to hold out for any longer. Most folks in the department had lost their long sleeves a long time ago. But the cool air brought with it a calmness that the ED was gifted once in a blue moon. The patients were still as stupid as they had ever been, that was for sure, but things were running smoother. At least, it seemed like they were. It still felt like she was fucking up at every turn. And it felt blasphemous to consider that things had gotten better since Robby had left.
There wasn’t much winning no matter how she looked at it.
Trinity sucked in another hit from her vape. Since Dennis had been out of the apartment more, she had weaselled her way back into the habit of using it again. He had always given her a hard time for it - though she always cracked back about the time that he’d tried a cigarette and nearly coughed up a lung one night at the bar - but now that there was no one around to care about what she did, Trinity couldn’t find it in herself to care either. She leaned back against the cool brick wall behind her. It was nice in the shade. It felt like she could melt away into it and nobody would notice.
The ambulance bay was as quiet as it had been all day. It wasn’t often that she could wrangle a quick break in peace, and she probably should have been using it to stuff down a granola bar, or raid the fridge for something that someone wouldn’t miss, but her appetite hadn’t held up much recently. And the nicotine was too good to pass up.
The silence didn’t last long though.
Trinity pushed herself upright at the metallic sound of the doors whooshing open to her left. She turned away, casting her eyes over a couple of parked bikes. It was still weird not to have Robby’s there waiting for him after shift. The resident stuffed the vape back into her pocket. She wasn’t sure what was worse - the thought of Al-Hashimi catching her loitering in the middle of shift, or the thought of her catching Trinity huffing out strawberry watermelon flavoured smoke. When nobody called on her, she turned back again, figuring that it was safe.
And she was right. There wasn’t another doctor there - or surgeon, which she was even more grateful for - but there was a tall figure instead. He barrelled into the space with hunched shoulders and an energy that Trinity could feel fizzing from here.
“Fuck me,” Trinity murmured to herself.
She knew him.
A good foot bigger than her. Slack jawed. Still stinking of early morning beers. Trinity could remember the smell of alcohol radiating from him as he stood on the other side of his wife’s bed. It hadn’t taken long for her spidey senses to start tingling when he started snapping out answers to all of her questions. Not to mention six stitches and black eye that he had left his wife with. By the time that Trinity had spotted bruises on the kid that had been dragged along for the ride, her mind was already made up. She had figured that he would be too busy with social services for her to see him again. Security normally kept a firm grasp on men like him.
Trinity dipped her head low. Probably best for him not to see her. Her heart hammered in her chest at the thought of how he might react if he did. If she could just get to the door, then at least somebody would be able to see them - regardless of how he wanted to play it.
“You have to be fucking kidding me.” His voice was thick, gravelly from a long night of being a deadbeat dad, Trinity thought. He pointed a harsh finger in her direction before she could make it more than a step away from where she was standing. Her legs betrayed her, keeping her glued to the spot as she swallowed thickly. This wasn’t quite how she had wanted it to go. “Do you have any fucking idea what you’ve done?”
Trinity’s jaw tightened. She knew that there was no use getting smart with him, though she could feel half a dozen insults nipping at her tongue, willing her to let them loose. Especially when her mind flickered back to the child that had been in there too - hopefully now taken away to a family room to be distracted from whatever came next. If she thought she could take him, she might just have taken advantage of their isolation and taken a crack at him herself - but that was a pipe dream.
“Sir, we should go back inside-.”
Trinity knew that it wouldn’t do much. She wasn’t sure why she had even said it. Things definitely weren’t much better inside for him, no thanks to her.
“And wait for the fucking cops? I don’t think so.” He took a few heavy steps towards her. Trinity couldn’t help but move backwards, but when her back hit the wall again, her stomach dropped hard. There was nowhere for her to go. Another finger pointed towards her face. “My family is going to be ripped apart because of some stupid bitch doctor who couldn’t mind her own damn business.”
“Sir,” Trinity tried again. She racked her brain for something, anything, that she could use to de-escalate the situation. Her voice faltered as she continued. “They just want to talk to you - understand what’s going on.”
It was like she could see red flashing across his eyes. For a second, Trinity thought that was it. She could see his fist rising in her peripheral vision, almost like it was in slow motion, higher and higher, until-.
Smack.
The dull thud of his hand hitting the brick by the left of her temple made her blood run cold.
“You don’t know a fucking thing.”
She felt a burning heat rising from her chest, up the stretch of her neck, until it threatened to tear into her cheeks. It wasn’t the first time that she had felt threatened by a patient, or a patient’s relative, and she knew that it wouldn’t be the last. Maybe that was what made provoking him feel like a real option. What did it matter if she did? She had just treated his wife for an orbital fracture, pulling together the skin that he had torn apart - and no doubt would again. She had watched while the woman pulled down her sleeves when Trinity’s eyes had wandered in their direction. She had watched their daughter nestle into her mother’s side whenever he came close. All the while he acted as though being there was an inconvenience.
She hated men like that with every fiber of her being.
Her words were out before she could think twice. “You wanna hit me too? Go on, tough guy. Or is just your wife that you beat u-.”
Thwack.
For a second, Trinity didn’t feel any pain. Just a pressure in her head that she couldn’t place and an instantaneous ringing in her ears. The force of his fist against her face made something bright and white flash in her eyes, like someone had taken a photograph of her way too closely. Her head snapped involuntarily. It was only as her skull collided with the brick behind her that a sharp pain reverberated throughout her entire being.
“Shut your fucking mouth.”
Trinity could smell the sourness of his breath as he leaned closer. His words gave way to the ringing again, everything around the pair dropped out. She blinked past the streaks of sunlight that were masking her vision, trying to focus on his face.
Her hands seemed to move of their own volition, coming up to push hard against his chest. When he stumbled back a few steps, she sucked in a hard breath. “Fuck.” And another one. “You.”
Trinity was vaguely aware of the fact that her body was still upright. It didn’t feel like she was holding herself up. Like instead, she was some kind of marionette doll, waiting for her strings to be cut and the show to be over. And then all at once, gravity, who had shown her so much grace already, decided to turn on her. When Trinity’s knees buckled, she didn’t fall all at once, instead feeling herself slide down to the concrete slowly as she waited for her head to stop spinning.
She didn’t see the first kick coming.
When his foot handed hard into her side, she was almost grateful. If this was the way that she went out, at least it was for good reason. At least she might have gotten a family the help that they needed. At least she wouldn’t have to worry about keeping herself going anymore. She could just let go.
Or, she would have thought that had it not been for the pain that came with it.
Trinity felt herself folding inwards, collapsing to the side as her arms wrapped around her stomach, trying to protect herself from any more damage that could be inflicted. Another kick came quickly after - finding a gap where her ribs were exposed. Her body jerked as a hot stab of pain rattled through her. It sucked the air out of her. When Trinity tried to catch a breath, nothing happened for a terrifying half-second. Like her chest had forgotten how to expand at all.
And then air came.
Miraculously. Painfully. Shallow and jagged and catching in a way that made Trinity wish that he would just finish the job and put her out of her misery. She barely registered the final stamp that he got in - though it was clumsy and light in comparison, colliding with the back of a hand that she was using to protect herself instead of her stomach.
And then he was gone.
Trinity stayed on the ground for a whole minute while her brain tried to catch up with what had just happened. Her eyes were squeezed shut as she processed the pain. Her ears were still ringing just as hard as they had been before. Though now, in the distance, the world was coming back into focus again. A car horn honked. Another’s tires squeaked against the road. If she focused hard enough, she could almost hear the chatter from back inside the ED.
The ED.
She had to get back inside.
It took more than another minute for her to muster the strength to get up. One hand came to brace against the concrete while the other stayed glued to her ribs. With one push, she was nearly up, but the world started to tilt before she could go any further. Her eyes locked onto the ground beneath her as she focused on breathing through the nausea that was swirling in her belly. If she was going to make it back into the ED, she wasn’t going to do it covered in her own vomit.
“Okay,” Trinity mumbled. The metallic taste of blood slipped past her lips as she tried to suck in another breath. Her chest protested instantly, the pain making every muscle that she was trying to use contract and ache. She tried a shallow breath as the stinging eased. “You’re okay, Santos.”
Trinity managed to pull herself up onto one knee first, doing her best to keep herself steady even as her balance wavered. The act of standing upright sent an abhorrent wave of dizziness through her. Her vision grew fuzzy at the edges, and for a second, Trinity thought that she was headed for the ground again. She reached a hand out, relieved when her fingers brushed against brick, and held herself steady for a moment. Her ribs protested against every tiny movement that she made. The pain never left her, hitting her in cruel spikes whenever she wasn’t careful and making it harder to breath with every step she took. Trinity resigned herself to the smallest sips of airs, focusing on not letting herself suffocate before she could get help.
The doors to the ED slid open more quickly than she thought they would, exposing her to the world inside in an instant. The noise and smell hit her all at once, and the twisting nausea that had been plaguing her only seemed to intensify. Everything was too bright. Too loud. The fluorescent lights above her felt as though they were drilling straight through her eyes to her brain.
All that Trinity could do was hold herself upright in the one spot. The rest of her energy had been used up to simply get her there.
She wasn’t sure if it was the room that was tilting, or her own body that was swaying gently from side to side. When the familiar colour of doctor’s scrubs filled her vision, she got her answer.
“Santos?”
“I’m okay,” her words bubbled past her lips. “I might need-.” Air. She needed air. “-a little help.”
Trinity blinked hard, trying to get the world back into focus. It was only when she felt the same tang of blood on her tongue as before that she realised that might be the culprit blocking her vision. Or maybe her eye was starting to swell up. She wasn’t sure. If it weren’t for the pain in her side, she might have cared more to find out. When Trinity’s eyes met Al-Hashimi’s, she focused all of her energy on keeping them locked there.
“Easy,” Al-Hashimi murmured. One hand came to rest gently on the small of Trinity’s back, while the other kept a tight grip on the resident’s forearm. “We’ve got you.”
McKay was the first resident to reach them. Her eyes were quick to scan over Trinity’s body, assessing whatever she could from what she could see. “What the fuck happened?”
“Fucking asshole clocked me,” Trinity huffed. The arm that Al-Hashimi wasn’t holding was wrapped tightly around her side, as though if she let go, the entire framework of her ribs would collapse in on itself. “I’m fine.”
“You are not fine.”
Trinity tried to take a few steps, letting the attending pull her closer as they went, her grip tightening. She could feel the chatter around her growing but their words all seemed to blend into one. She hated it. The eyes that she could feel boring into her from every angle. Trinity swallowed thickly. She just had to focus on putting on foot in front of the other and not to breathe too deeply-
Jesus Christ, she was in a lot of pain.
By the time that they made it to the hub, a chair had already been pulled closer for her to sit in, a small crowd had seemed to gather by it. Trinity was just grateful that it wasn’t a wheelchair. That was one embarrassment that she couldn’t see herself getting over quickly. She was also grateful for the firmness of Al-Hashimi’s next statement.
The older woman spoke loud and clear. “If you are not needed, I suggest you get back to your patients. Now.”
Perlah’s hands joined Al-Hashimi’s as Trinity reached the chair, guiding her down by her hips with gentle support, but even the simplest of acts - sitting down - was enough to make the resident’s head spin all over again. Trinity faltered for a second, her hand flailing for something to hold onto, to brace herself on as she breathed through another impossible wave of pain, but the hands around her refused to let her fall.
“I’m okay,” Trinity mumbled.
Al-Hashimi only hummed in protest as she pulled on a pair of gloves, coming to kneel quickly in front of her resident. She would have preferred somewhere more private to do her exam but she wasn’t going to argue that point now. Her hands moved gently across Trinity’s head, her fingers probing gently for any discomfort but the younger woman barely flinched. “Did you hit your head?”
“Does a fist count?” she replied. Ordinarily, that might have been an attempt at a joke, but Trinity wasn’t sure she had many of those in her. Her mind flickered back to the punch. “I think maybe. Against the wall.”
Trinity’s hand came up to look for a forgotten source of pain but McKay’s hands were already there, pressing carefully against her skull. Cassie brought her hand away from Trinity’s hair after a moment, showing Al-Hashimi a blood covered glove. It wasn’t much, but enough for the pair to be concerned. Al-Hashimi though, as she usually did, managed to keep a neutral face as she continued with the exam.
“Did you lose consciousness?” Trinity gave a slight shake of the head. And again when the attending asked: “Double vision? Nausea?”
“Both.”
“Okay, we need to get you into a room.”
For the first time, Trinity heard Dana’s voice pipe up. “Right there.”
They left little room for protest. Not that Trinity could have. She was too focused on the pain that was overriding her senses and the sickening taste of blood that wouldn’t leave her mouth. But still, she managed to get back to her feet again, feeling just a little steadier than she had done a few minutes before. It only took a few steps for them to get to privacy.
“Can you get up onto the bed?”
Trinity braced herself, holding steady as she tried to bring a leg up. She let out a broken sound when something in her side twinged again. Her forehead creased as she breathed through it, the stinging of the cut there flaring up once more. It was relentless. Nothing she could do made anything any better. Maybe it was worse than she thought it was.
“We’ve got you,” Perlah implored her as she and McKay helped Trinity onto the bed.
Trinity let herself believe it. She let them support her as she twisted her body onto the bed. The back was raised so that she could sit upright. After she had managed a few shallow breaths to settle herself, a hand came to her face to press a clean wipe against it - ridding her of some of the blood that had begun to dry across it. Trinity winced as it brushed over the cut on her eyebrow.
“You’re going to have one hell of a black eye, Santos,” McKay hummed. She pressed something else against Trinity’s face, but the younger woman didn’t see what it was. Gauze, maybe. Something to stop the bleeding completely if she was lucky. “Might get a cool scar out of this.”
Trinity hummed at the joke. She was grateful that McKay had been the first resident to her. If it had been Langdon that was treating her alongside Al-Hashimi, she might just have combusted. Or asked the attending to give her a second knock to take her out completely. Mohan would have been better than anymore but she was on night shift this week. And Whitaker-.
Trinity looked to Al-Hashimi. “Where’s Huckl- Dr. Whitaker?”
The attending shook her head. “I didn’t see him. With a patient, I’m presuming.”
“Good,” she breathed. That was for the best. “Leave him for now. He’ll shit the bed if he sees this.”
Al-Hashimi gave a small smile. “Look at me, Trinity.” A light was flashing between Trinity’s eyes before she could process what was happening. “Pupils are equal and reactive. Follow my finger.” Trinity’s eyes tracked wherever Al-Hashimi’s hand moved. “Good girl.” And then to McKay. “Let’s order a head CT. Did you get a good look at the back of her head?”
“Small cut. Not deep. I’ll close it up with some glue. Is there someone we can call for you, Santos?”
There was only one person that came to mind. Trinity wasn’t sure how Garcia would react to her being there. She wasn’t sure if the surgeon would come if she called, so she shook her head.
“You’ve been holding your side. Do you mind if I have a look?”
Trinity shook her head and Al-Hashimi’s hands moved to her torso. “He got a few kicks in. Stamped on my hand too. Bastard.”
“Jesus,” McKay murmured.
Al-Hashimi let out a breath. “I’ll be as gentle as I can.” She moved carefully across Trinity’s belly, pressing against it gingerly. “Any pain?”
The resident shook her head. The next time that the other woman’s fingers pressed into her, the pain was immediate. Trinity let out a sharp gasp as she folded inwards. For a second, her vision went white. She sucked in a hard breath. That only made it worse. “Fuck.”
“Sorry,” Al-Hashimi apologised. Tears still stung at Trinity’s eyes. “You did very well, Trinity. Possible rib fracture. Or at least a bad contusion. I’d like to get some chest imaging to rule out anything worse.”
McKay nodded. “Try not to take a deep breath.”
Too late.
The pain from Al-Hashimi’s exam was still radiating through her chest. Trinity sucked in a harsh breath instinctively before her brain could overrule it, and she regretted it immediately. The pain only grew - sharp and blinding, and stealing whatever was left in her lungs. Her shoulders tensed and her throat contracted as she started to feel a panic rise within her.
“Small breaths,” Al-Hashimi urged her softly. The older woman brought a hand to Trinity’s shoulder, trying to comfort her with brushes of her thumb. “In through your nose. That’s it.”
Trinity nodded. It wasn’t doing much. The room around her had already started to warp into something fuzzy. The edges of her vision began to darken, like someone was slowly dimming the lights above them.
“Hey,” McKay pressed. Her voice was sharper now. An urgency growing. “Just breathe, Santos.”
“I am,” Trinity insisted, but the words came out thick and slurred where she hadn’t meant them too.
It was a familiar feeling. She’d had it not too long ago. The sounds from the other side of the door were dulling down to nothing, as though cotton had been tucked into her ears or the dial on the radio had been turned all the way down. She could still see Al-Hashimi in front of her, but Trinity was struggling to keep her eyes focused. She blinked. It didn’t do much to help. The room started to swim instead, the colours around her all bleeding into one another.
“Trinity,” Al-Hashimi said firmly. “Look at me.”
She tried.
She really tried.
But the effort that it took only seemed to make things worse.
It only took a second for the voices around her to drop out completely.
And then-
Nothing.