Chapter Text
The room is too small for all of us.
Too quiet, too loud, somehow both at once. The hum of the air conditioner rattles in the background, but it does nothing to cut through the weight sitting heavy in my chest.
Jeremiah is the only one in the room when I finally say it. The silence stretches between us, thick and suffocating. The air feels too heavy, like it’s pressing down on my chest, making it hard to breathe, let alone think.
Conrad isn’t here. It’s just us. And somehow, that makes it worse.
Jeremiah stands across from me, hands on his hips, like he’s trying to hold himself together by force. His eyes are locked on mine searching, waiting, hoping.
“Just… say it, Belly,” he says, his voice rough around the edges. “Don’t look for him. Don’t think about anything else. Just say it to me.”
My throat tightens, because this is what he deserves. The truth. No hesitation. No confusion.
Just him and me, For a second, I let myself imagine choosing him.
How easy it would be to step forward, take his hand, end all of this. No more back and forth, no more hurting him, no more feeling like I’m constantly on the verge of losing something good.
Jeremiah was always the easier choice, the safer one.
The one who stayed. My chest aches.
Because that’s not the same as being the one I choose. “I can’t keep doing this,” he says quietly when I don’t answer right away. His voice cracks, just barely. “I need to know if I’m the one you want… or if I never really was.” The words settle deep.
And I know this is it.
No more almost.
No more maybe. I inhale shakily, forcing the words out before I can stop myself. “I choose Conrad.” The second it leaves my mouth, I wish I could take it back.
Not because it isn’t true , but because of what it does to him. Jeremiah doesn’t react right away. He just… blinks.
Like his brain is trying to catch up with something his heart already knew. “Oh.” It’s barely a sound. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, stepping toward him. “Jer, I” He shakes his head, backing away before I can get any closer. “No, don’t, don’t do that.”
His jaw tightens, and he lets out a breath that sounds like it hurts. “At least you said it to my face this time.” Guilt crashes over me, sharp and immediate. “I didn’t mean to hurt you”
“Yeah,” he cuts in, a hollow laugh slipping out. “I know. You never mean to.” That stings more than if he’d yelled.
Because he’s right.
I take another step toward him, desperate now. “Can we just talk about this? Please” “No,” he says, firmer this time. He runs a hand through his hair, pacing once before stopping again. “No, I don’t think there’s anything left to talk about.”
“Jeremiah” “You chose him,” he says simply. “That’s it.” The finality in his voice makes my chest tighten. For a second, neither of us moves. Then he grabs his keys off the table.
My heart drops. “Where are you going?” He doesn’t answer. He just heads for the door.
“Jer, wait” But he’s already opening it. The hallway light spills into the room, harsh and cold. He pauses for half a second, like he might turn around But he doesn’t.
The door shuts behind him with a quiet click. And just like that, he’s gone. I don’t even remember grabbing my sweater.
I just know that the next thing I’m doing is pushing the door open and stepping outside, my heart racing, my thoughts all over the place. The night air hits me, cool against my skin.
And there he is. Conrad. Leaning against the car, like he’s been waiting. Like he knew I’d come out eventually. His eyes lift when he sees me, something unreadable flickering across his face.
“Hey,” he says softly. But I barely register it. Because just past him, Jeremiah is already walking away.
Fast. “Jer!” I call out, my voice breaking as I take a step forward, He doesn’t stop, doesn’t even turn around.
“Jeremiah, please” “I get it, Belly!” he calls back, not stopping, his voice tight, strained. “You don’t have to say it again.” The sound of it, of him makes something in my chest crack.
Conrad straightens beside me, glancing between us. “What happened?” I can’t answer, I’m still watching Jeremiah, Still hoping he’ll turn around.
He doesn’t. He just gets in his car, slams the door harder than necessary, and a second later, the engine starts. “Jer” My voice comes out smaller this time.
Useless. The car pulls out of the parking lot without another look. And just like that, he’s gone.
The silence that follows is unbearable. I feel Conrad step closer, careful, like I might break. “Belly…” I close my eyes for a second, trying to steady my breathing.
This is what I wanted. Isn’t it? I turn to him slowly. To the boy I chose.
But for some reason… it doesn’t feel like winning.