Work Text:
FORWARD
After watching ten “Wuthering Heights”(2026) review videos on YouTube I went to HEB and started shoving my fingers in the gaping mouthholes of the fish in the seafood isle unti I can see my finger come out the gillhole like a parasite, but was kicked out. This is another sign that AI will destroy the world when a man can't physical measure his own fish with his own hands and body parts before purchase at inflation price at the whim of the machine!!!! My rights as a biological citizen are violated. I was disassociating in the parking lot in my grief as I was questioned by the police and I decided I must wrote the greatest love atory of the century to rival Wuthering Heights to touch the gillhole of the world as a metaphor for female genital stimulation with the smell of my finger tip. I forgot to buy monistat.
WUTHERING HEIGHTS: SHIPYARD OMEGAVERSE
Cloud’s POV
Cloud was bagging wads of greasy brisket with his bare hands at the Buc ee’s in Austin, Texas. It was the best job he ever had and he got a good performance review and wasn't fired by Buc ee's vibe coded employee surveillance AI yet because he was very good at jerky and brisket. He put three handfuls of beef in his armpit to make more jerky and glared at the throngs of unwashed men, women, and children standing around in the bathroom herd coughing on each other and all of the snacks and camping gear and pool toys and beaver clothes.
Even though he had a good job, Tifa was still not his wife and he didn't know why because he was doing a good job being a provider and being dominant by sitting with his legs spread on the bus so people can smell his greased up, beef-slicked taint.
As Cloud stood over the piles of freshly sliced meat he felt a tightening in his groin. HE GASPEd, felling a HEAT rise up as he suddenly felt feverish. He didn't know if he caught covid from cleaning the shit off the bathroom stalls, but he wasn't sure that was true. He began grinding his crotch against a stack of shaved beef, mewling and groaning as he wanted a REAL MAN to take him.
Cloud heard every day about how to be a real man from going to Kylo Ren’s apartment because they were rebound back together again. Kylo is an internet ai and privacy and environment expert now after a tictoc video and listening to a lot of really informative podcasts by Ulfric Stormcloak about how to be an alpha male on his contriversial podcast KINGS AND CUNTS as he loudly screams about how he's been wrong and probably needs therapy but prefers to throw a man tantrum about it. Cloud hates Kylo but he is weak for his cat ears and Tifa still has not noticed him so Kylo is his side piece. But all he knew, Kylo was an ALPHA MALE and he wanted his fat dick up his back hole.
But lately Cloud is really mad because even Kylo is seeming to be distant and not notice him like Tifa even when he wears his most revealing plastic brisket bag from work. Cloud was very angry and put more beef in his armpits and in his pants and really angry more jerky. Kylo spent all his time on his computer reading dumb stories and looking wistfully out the window at the neighbor house and the Elon Musk hyperscale space data center and cyber truck factory parking lot ewaste emporium and diesel fume air manufacturing plant sponsored by PFAS chilled Bitcoin.
Trevor lived there with his rich gay vampire lover Alucard who was mpregging Trevor's back door thebn had to use plan b constantly because trevor kept on taking his IUD out. He was sure K ylo visited to relieve Trevor's heat.
Cloud got mad as he screamed and came all over the floor as he suspected that he is being cheated on and is a cuck beta male that has to eat soy instead of whole raw horse penises and testicles. But as he realized he was in heat he realized he was no longer a cucked beta, but a cucked omega.
The employee surveillance AI wanted to fuck Cloud.
Cloud wiped his hands on his pants and felt very sad into his jerky.
—---
Kylo’s POV
Kylo Ren was reading the most erotic story he can find on duckduckgo because he thinks it doesn't use microsoft data center bing ai seache water. Kylo was a red pill alpha man of the world but also ascended to sigma like Shadow the Hedgehog by save the eviroment. He is now enlightened and private because he read a blog post and is knows a lot about how all data centers and AI work now better than experts on wikihow.
Kylo looked up ‘alpha’ like world famous podcast right wing manosphere carnivore influencer and raw pork health supplement champion, Ulfric Stormcloak.
Kylo started to get an erection, not knowing why. he was getting MAD as he started to masturbate feriously to the images of pork on the KINGS and CUNTs podcast website. He could SMELL someone's heat.
Kylo Ren rejected having jobs to sit around in house and instead self education on reddit and lead Cloud on in a loveless political marriage of convenience to support his lifestyle so he never miss any livestreams or social medias and Discord and online gaming and news by Ulfric on the internet but he didn't use Google because of his privacy and not use any data centers because the he read a article.
Kydo searched ‘alpha’ with best privacy and no cookies and only uses search engine that promises to have NO DATAs and makes money by friendship and no one knows because Kylo is too technical smart and has a vpn that catches all the data and searches and streams before they can go in a data centers, (except for obi wan Kenobi who owns the local Cox ISP and sees everything and sells data) because Kylo is well informed and read three articles on Instagram and Bluesky and Discord and is not letting any datas to train AI because AI will take Cloud jobs and he is better and smarter than other people because of his feelings.
He seen alpha seach result and went to AO3 and started to read about omegavese.
Kylo began screaming in feral, alpha rage as he jerked off while reading AO3
AO3 POV
Fanfiction King Shadow was married to queen Sally in a loveless political marriage of convenience. He thinks he is a signa alpha male and and tries to be very Dom to his court with guns and weird little girl cult by Keb Pender copyright do not steal but then he tied to dom queen Sally very noncon and Queen Sally’s hand maiden the handsome Heathcliff (probably from Wuthering Heights(2026) movie) saw, and Heathcliff punched King Shadow the hedgehog in the prostate with his gigantic barbed cat cock and knotting him and accidently mpreg the king.
Princess Sall y saw and was annoyed because Shadow is her stupid omega but then she smell sweltering wet dumpster garbage pheromones. Sally look out the window with lust and called sonic the transient man that lived in the alley behind the Mobius Royal Castle and Compound and have wet garbage-juice sex with him and maggots right in front of kingShadow the Hedgehog on his bed and he can't leave because knot. Sally said, “Not bad for a bum”.
Then Shadow was cucked and he has to agree to a open marriage with sonic the homeless man and buy queen Sally her vagisil at Walmart because Sonic gave her yeast because Shasow is a just a omega and barefoot pregnant with maid Heathcliffs cubs and his prostate bullied fifteen times.
Kylo's POV
Kylo blasts jizz all over his keyboard and has a deep emotional awakening to he is a alpha for sure because he is irresistible attracted to the smell of the neighbors pool chlorine plastic pheromones of the inflatable Buc ee’s pool toy that is his destined mate and cloud and the neighbors and Elon Musk and chatgpt are just a bunch of meaningless betas.
Kylo went to take a shower in hot beef drippings and pFAS to go next door and take his lover with his knot that was the 12 unwashed cock rings he kept forgetting to take off every time he put one on to gave cloud pity sex.
He thought of cloud and his tight backdoor pussy, wanting to ram his knot in his butt slit. The bitch was in heat and he knew it.
—--
Trevor POV
Trevor could not escape his crippling pool toy fetish since that day long ago. He never forgot his lover Garfield, but he had to move on with his life. Alucard just rolled his eyes when Trevor asked can he please put on an inflatable rubber HEATHCLIFF THE CAT suit. Trevor screamed at him that he didn't love him and punched the wall like a toddler and the ran outside to the arms of his new lover the pool ring he bought at Buc ee's with a sensual beaver from the neighbor twink. He was making sweet love with it when he felt strange that Buc ee was really loving him back.
Tevor SUDDENLY felt his butt become moist with butt vagina lubricant as he SUDDENLY wen into heat. He had chased Alucard away and without his alpha he began to mewl and cry into his buc ee pool ring.
—-
Kyle POV
Kylo busted down his door, smelling someone's heat. It smelled like boiled pork and fritos and he needed to impregnate someone. He growled, seeing his neighbor trevor on the ground, sobbing with his ass in the air. The vampire was nowhere in sight.
Kylo's inner wolf that wanted him to mate was conflicting with his inner wolf that wanted to tear down the estabishment. Ulfric wanted to mate with all the omega bitches, but he wanted to save the environment with cloud.
He tore the Buc ee floatie from Trevor's omega bitch dick and started to feriously grind himself against it in rage. Buc ee was a far superior lover to Cloud in every way because of his beautiful and receptive hole was in heat and smelled of chlorine pheromones made kylo in rut and cuck cloud like how Sally cuck king Shadow. KYLO got Buc ee mpreg, but then the pool boy, Link brought cocktails and Kylo noticed that actually he accidentally mpreg the neighborTrevor.
Trevor POV
Trevor thought he was being reciprocated in love with Buc ee like in his dreams, but then he notice that actually he is stuck by his asshole on Kylo Ren’s unwashed cock ring collection.
Trevor was so fucking pissed off because now he is mpreg and can't drink his cocktail and alucard is going to divorce him again and he has to go back to training AI part-time for sidegig but is usually a scam and he doesn't get five dollars to buy more Buc ee's pool noodles for sounding play.
Cloud POV
It was just about that time that Cloud crawled home from his job at Buc ee's, butthole gaping in NEED and can't find Kylo at their apartment. Cloud immediately had a really bad feeling in his deli meats.
He went to the neighbor house because he is very suspicious of Kylo after posting on Reddit and reddit said he is financial abused and kyl is a narcissist cheating also and then he seen Kylo Ren in the neighbor sun chair fucking Trevor Belmont through the hole in a Buc ee's pool ring.
Cloud screamed at them for cheating on him and to stop fucking, but Kylo doesn't because he says Buc ee innertube is his omega and his mate and they are knotted and Buc ee is mark with his scents. Kylo broke up with him and Cloud was now a beta male cuck and then Alucard came out to the pool and looked at what was going on in his pool on his sun chair in his Versace robe with his gfuel mimosa because he was going to drive his truck into the pool.
And then Alucard went live on twitch and called them all out on tictoc and invited Ulfric to comment and he said they were all betas while he ate 67 sloth livers and then Alucard called the police on stream and had them all arrested and sent to work in data center water jail and electric power price engorgement scheme and sold out of AI stocks and became more rich than Mark Zuckerberg. But he invested all of his money in a productivity app someone created a bunch of stupid and inept AI agents that can't do anything right and blow a bunch of money or business. Alucard does it to streamline his YouTube channel and merch sales and it trades his entire zuck fortune for a used bath mat.
Obi wan Kenobi selling data to President Donald J Trump king of the FBI and banned plan b abortions at the cox cable and watch the data and said “wow”. The anthropomorphic version of ChatGPT came in and cucked Obiwan to mpreg Donald J trump but he can't get an abortion now because he banned them.
Because of Trump Lara-Su by Ken Penders had to teach sex education to the omegas and give them feminine hygine products for their estrus. Also free monistat because yes, you can get fungal infections in your butt cunts. 
Tifa bailed Cloud out of jail and he cry and quit his job at Buc ee's. She gave him snacks and a juice box.
Trevor Belmont was really fucking annoyed.
The end
