Chapter Text
It was an ordinary Tuesday. Or at least so I thought.
In hindsight, I should have known better. Right?
Dark spots.
Dancing and swirling around in my field of vision.
Not good.
Bad, very bad.
That’s all I can think, huh? Bad, bad, bad. Really putting them college grades to use.
Someone tugs at my sleeve. My head lolls weirdly with the movement.
There’s a ball above me. It’s huge and yellow. Just like my jacket.
Hah, I feel like laughing, but something tells me I shouldn’t.
If I could, I would’ve avoided explaining the Petrova line and the space dots completely.
But lava is lava, and lava is holy. So, maybe slightly out of self preservation – because if I don’t respect lava, then why on Earth should they? – I bring out the red tape.
It doesn’t seem that frightening when it’s simply a red line between two papier mache planets. I wish reality was as simple as that. Deep down, I know it’s bad news. I could see it in Marissa’s eyes when she told me. All of this — the Petrova line, the dots, the frightened scientists – it’s not gonna end well. At all.
A part of me is very touched that my kids want to talk to me about what’s happening on the news. That means I must’ve done something right at some point, if my students feel safe enough to share their thoughts and worries with me like this.
Another part of me panics, of course. Because explaining whether or not the space dots are eating the sun feels very much like something above my paygrade.
That’s a conversation for safe spaces, like home, with a hug from mom or dad nearby.
“They seem to be dimming the sun a tiny, teeny-weeny, little bit”, I say, hoping it’ll be enough to satisfy them for now.
“So no big whoop?” Olivia says, catching me off guard.
All of a sudden, I can feel the tension starting to build in the air. Whatever slightly hopeful momentum I had, I am losing.
I glance up at the clock on the wall and see that I’ve got around ten minutes left of class. I need to end this discussion on a calm positive note, somehow so they don’t leave all worried and stressed.
“It’s a small-to-medium whoop”, I say and walk behind my desk.
That’s the opposite of positive – you’re making it worse!
“Over the next thirty years, the Earth could cool… maybe ten to fifteen degrees.”
The class stays quiet, a little too quiet.
Wonderful, Ryland.
“So”, Olivia begins. “It is a big whoop?”
Just great.
“I heard that all the crops will die”, Rekha then says to the whole class.
I love that stubborn girl with all my heart, but man, when she’s got something on her mind there’s no way of bringing her back down.
Crap, how do I save this?
“The economy will freefall and half the Earth will die from starvation”, she continues.
That’s it, Armageddon is here.
“We’re all gonna die!” exclaims another girl, Ivy, across the classroom.
Everyone starts talking loudly. I catch a glimpse of Julian in the back. He’s new to the class and probably one of the smartest kids I know, but also the most sensitive. I can see him starting to tear up.
“You’re forgetting something”, I say and try to get their attention. “Guys, guys! That’s if that were to happen. Right–”
I’m interrupted by a horrendous crack from the speakers. Ivy covers her ears and Rekha frowns. Julian flinches in the back.
I recognise the principal’s voice. “Att–ion” The audio cracks horribly – the membranes must be loose or the mic is terribly overpitched. Maybe some radio interference?
“Ther–” The audio cracks again and all I can hear are incoherent fragments of her words.
“What’s happening?” Ivy asks.
“Eyyyyy we gon’ finish early?” Devin, my beloved troublemaker, slams his hands on the desk and laughs loudly. “D-G, can I go?”
“Wait”, I say and hold up my hand. Something’s off. I can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong.
Devin sinks disappointedly down into his chair again and lets out a loud groan.
“I repea–” says the principal through the speakers. I concentrate to make out anything she’s saying. She sounds stressed, her voice is sharp and high. “–ock– own–”
The air stops in my airways. My eyes widen. I freeze. Did she just say what I think she said?
Panic climbs up my spine, seeps into my bones. I hurry to the door and glance out into the corridor, my hand ready on the lock. The hallway is empty, but that doesn’t help my nerves.
My heart is pounding, I can feel every beat vibrate through my chest.
It’s probably nothing, I think. Most likely nothing. Yeah.
I just can’t shake the feeling that it isn’t.
She sounded so stressed. And that wasn’t the speakers’ fault.
My gaze sweeps through the classroom behind me and I clench my jaw. Only one door. Windows everywhere. I used to love this room for that exact reason, but now I hate it.
There’s no proper corner either. Not really. The one we’ve practiced in makes for good practice but offers no real protection at all.
Maybe I can push my desk in front of it?
My phone plings and my heart skips at least two beats. I flip it out of my pocket, but before I can turn it off, my breath catches and I stare at the screen.
“Wahh that’s a sound violation! Sound violation on Dr. G”, cheers Devin and drums his fingers against the desktop.
“Devin, calm down”, I hiss without looking up. For once, Devin goes dead quiet and I can’t help but feel bad for my tone.
The speakers crack again and I feel my heart start racing. I stare at a text message on the screen in my hand.
It’s from Linda, the English teacher. I had coffee with her this morning. She’s fun, we hang out a lot. I really like her.
RYLAND
I stop breathing.
I can see the dots when she’s typing.
C’mon, Linda. C’mon.
“Grace?” Rekha whispers.
I don’t answer, can’t take my eyes off my screen.
I hear screams from outside. My heart plummets.
BANG!
I flinch, almost drop my phone. The sound of the gunshot shakes me to my core. Linda’s dots disappear.
“Fudge”, I breathe. Slide the phone down my pocket, lock the door. Switch off the light, even if it barely makes a difference. “Everyone, do as we’ve practiced, this isn’t a drill! C’mon!”
I try my best not to sound frightened, but I can tell it doesn’t work. I’m terrified. My worst nightmare just became reality.
I pull down all the blinds I can. Most of them don’t work anymore.
My children scream behind me.
“Shhh! It’s gonna be alright”, I say. “Get in the corner! Now!”
Someone is sobbing and my first instinct is to get up.
I feel like I should help.
There’s no reason to cry, whatever it is I’m sure we can figure it out.
Weird. My body won’t listen. It’s like I’m floating.
“Dr. Grace”, someone whimpers. Is it Olivia? Oh fudge, it’s Olivia. Something happened. But what? I can’t remember. I manage to lift my head. She’s upset, I need to—
A sound. A strange breathy cry. Awful really.
Is it coming from me?
My lips are moving and I feel strain in my throat. The sound was probably mine.
I fall back down, my head hits the floor.
Floor? What am I doing on the floor?
I look up and see the large yellow sphere again. There’s a red line attached to it. Is it… yeah, that’s my model. I am really on the floor.
Something tells me I didn’t lie down for fun.
I hurry to the back of the room and push my desk in front of my kids with all my might. It’s not much, it’s not gonna stop a rain of bullets, I know. I know the ballistics all too well.
It’s a Hail Mary. And I have to believe in it because otherwise I don’t know what to do.
It sure beats the alternative.
“What’s happening?” Rekha’s voice is trembling.
“It’s gonna be alright.” I look at her and try to give her a reassuring nod. I’m not sure how convincing I am. “Get in there, that’s right, sit down.”
I crouch down next to them and count. One– two– three… seventeen– eighteen… Andrew is sick, so I’m missing one.
Oh God.
I’m missing one.
My heart leaps into my throat and I stand up.
Julian.
My gaze frantically searches the classroom until I find him, frozen by his desk.
“Julian”, I hiss and wave at him. “Get over here, buddy.”
A scream comes from one of the nearby classrooms. I try not to think about it.
BANG! BANG!
The scream stops abruptly.
I’ve never been more terrified in my whole life.
Julian stares at me from his desk, eyes wider than I’ve ever seen them. He’s hyperventilating, breaths coming in and out at a rapid speed.
I can’t wait. I throw myself out from behind the desk.
I’m in the middle of the classroom when I see a shadow appear behind the blinds.
No.
The shooter jerks the handle. Curses when he can't get in.
BANG!
He shoots the lock, tries again. The door won’t budge.
Gives up, moves to a window.
Please, no.
I see him. He sees me.
I’m too slow– darn it– I’m—
He clocks Julian.
I try to breathe. It’s not going very well. My lungs seem to have forgotten how to work.
I make an effort to get up again. That’s when I feel it.
Oh fudging fudger! My side– my ribs — God. My side.
I fall back down with a thud. Hot blinding pain radiates from my abdomen through all of my body. I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve never felt anything like this in my life.
Black spots dance in front of my eyes, and even the slightest movement makes me want to cry out. I fear I might pass out.
“Grace”, Olivia sobs. I force my eyes open and try to focus on her. My glasses are broken, can’t see a thing through the cracks.
That’s a shame. I really liked this pair.
My hand moves more clumsily than I’d like when I reach my face to take them off. They clatter when they hit the floor next to my head.
I can see her clearer now, up close. She’s shaking, cheeks wet with tears. Julian sits beside her, hugging himself. He’s crying so hard he can barely breathe.
I swallow a groan as a new wave of pain washes over me. The rest of my kids are hiding in the corner. I can see them in my peripheral vision, they seem to be okay.
A faint sigh leaves me. They’re okay. They’re okay.
That’s all that matters.
My mind starts racing.
What do I do? I can’t stop someone with a gun — I’m a teacher! I’ve barely touched a gun in my life! Sure, I know how they work, I can count on the forces and ballistics but this?!
“We can figure this out”, I blurt out. I don’t know what to say, who this man is or what he wants. “Just, don’t–”
The shooter slowly turns to me and I feel strangely relieved with a gun pointed at me. “They’re kids, they– ”
He snorts, turns back to Julian. Adjusts his aim.
No–
A click of metal.
Oh God–
I throw myself forward. I grab Julian by the arms and drag him out of his seat.
BANG!
Shards of glass fly through the room. The bullet lodges in the desk right next to Julian’s notebook. My ears ring.
The boy shakes in my arms. I pull him tight to my chest.
Turn my back and run.
BANG!
It knocks the wind out of me in the middle of a stride.
I stagger, catch myself against a desk.
Ow.
I readjust my grip on Julian and glance over my shoulder. I expect to see a shining barrel, but the shooter is gone.
My shoulders drop and the relief washes over me.
“Hey, buddy”, I breathe and try to get a glimpse of Julian’s face to see if he’s alright. He clings to me, refuses to let go of my shirt, but he seems uninjured.
“You’re okay, you’re okay, we’re okay”, I pant and rub his trembling back. “You’ll be okay.”
My vision blurs. I shake my head to clear my mind. It must be the shock, it’s all blending together. I’m shaking too.
I take a few steps closer to the safe corner. “Is everyone okay? Olivia? Rekha?”
My vision flickers. I’m starting to get nauseous.
Why aren’t they answering?
“Devin?”
My hearing disappears. I try to squeeze my thighs to get the blood up to my head and heart – this would be an awful time to faint.
Man, c’mon.
Julian slips in my hands. I lose strength in my fingers.
My side feels strangely warm. Wet.
Oh. Poor kid.
He was just scared. It’s not his fault.
“It’s okay”, I begin, but my voice falters. “It’s…”
I take another step.
My legs are too slow.
The colours blur together and gravity gets the better of me. I try to shelter Julian from the desk in front of us, but my head hits the edge when I go down.
Black is all I see.