Work Text:
The Ultra Magnus from 2013 had said that the Smokescreen from his world was somewhat - unruly. That was hardly surprising, given the qualities in his counterpart in 1988. However, as far as Jazz recalled not even Smokey was so disorganized as to leave his personal journalpad just lying around…
It was just as well, thought Jazz as he began to read, that it was he, and not certain others, who had found it.
Journal of Smokescreen, Autobot archivist of Alpha Trion, security expert, soldier and warrior. Time portal trip - 10th June 1988. “My Wicked Adventure"
Today my counterpart, 'eighties' Smokescreen, took me out on patrol in his time. He’s a bit of an old fogey, and his alt form’s pretty ancient, but he’s so COOL!
I get to call him ‘Smokey.’ He says I remind him of him when he was a mechalescent. I reckoned ‘Ha ha, you couldn’t have been as bad as me,’ and he reckoned ‘you wanna bet, kid?’”
'Oh no,' Jazz frowned. This was not encouraging.
Mech, the stunts he can do! He took me to where there’s this ramp thing up on a cliff. You drive on to it really hard and then you fly through the air and land in this lagoon place. Before he went in, he turned a somersault in midair, then he made this wave that soaked all the trees around. When he came up, he’d transformed underwater. It was so awesome…
Then we went to see these Decepticon pals of his. Well – they’re not pals, really, of course! Its all part of a deep, deep undercover operation where he just pretends to be pals, but really he’s getting a low-down…
Jazz shook his head. It was bad enough that Smokey had seen these Decepticons (three guesses as to who they were). But to take this youngster into that scene? It really was very disappointing.
Anyway, on the way there, Smokey says: “Say, kid, I think we’re being tailed.” And we were! And guess who was tailing us? This relation of his with the same alt mode who’s some kinda cop…
Oh mech…
Smokey reckons he’s real uptight this guy, doesn’t like anybody having fun, and doesn’t approve of Smokey’s undercover stuff. I mean – mech! That sucks! So Smokey says “I got a little surprise for old Prowlie!” And he let go this really really thick black smoke. We couldn’t see nothing behind us, and all you could hear was this other mech's engine sputtering – haha! It was so cool…
Yes – very disappointing. Yet despite all, a lopsided grin made its way on to Jazz’s face. So that’s why Prowl had needed that engine service and cleanout. Well hell – Jazz had gotten the idea that Prowl had just been stressed from too much of a good time with him!
Anyway, we caught up with these cons. And mech, I have to say that for cons, they’re actually OK. In fact, they're pretty awesome. There’s this big black copter, all shiny and with these huge rotors, and a tank who’s a real laugh. Then there’s this little yellow grounder that argues with the copter a lot, but he’s real smart and cute.
The copter and the tank (they’re called Tex and Brawl) they’re like REALLY heavy dudes - I mean, you wouldn’t wanna get on the wrong side. I never met their boss, but apparently he’s a real big wheel in the underworld – I mean, the real deal - AND he went against Megatron once. That has to make him kind of all right. Smokey goes way back with them all, see. He reckons he used to have a thing with Swindle, who’s the grounder...
Jazz let out a sigh. So the 'liaisons' went on. On the other hand, some useful intel had come out of this at times - even if it was usually when Smokecreen and Swindle 'weren't getting on.' Maybe he wouldn't report this. Jazz read on.
Actually, Smokey reckons Swin an’ Tex argue sometimes cos he had this fling with Tex too once, and Swindle didn't like it, but basically they all get on now. How awesome is that? I mean, its one thing to be pals with Cons AND undercover, but when they’re your exes too? I know exes that won’t even live on the same planet...
"Believe me pal, that's a lot more like it," Jazz muttered, thinking of the rows before the war.
Anyway, this other big mech turned up. And I mean BIG. Frag – he was huge. Next thing, he’s turned into a space shuttle and we’re off to this place called Monacus! It’s like thousands of light years away, but he knows all these wicked jump gate moves so we got there real quick.
(NB: I didn’t get to talk to the shuttle much, but he’s real cool too. He’s been all over the galaxy. His name’s Blast Off)
To cut a long story short (and I’m gonna have to do that, cos I’m running outta dataspace and anyway I can’t fully remember the last bits or getting back to Earth) this Monacus place is fantastic! I mean, it ROCKS! Its got all these really great bars and nightclubs and lots of cool streets and glittering lights, and there’s all these really interesting types there from all over the galaxy.
(NB: I don’t even know if we’ve got a Monacus in our timeline. I don’t remember seeing it in the archives, but Smokey says its kind of an outlaw type place, so that may be why.)
Anyway, when we got in the first bar, Swindle whipped out this HUGE stack of credits and said: “Hey, mechs – the chips are on me.” And then the others all grabbed a load, but I didn’t cos I thought that was kinda rude – I mean, they’d already been real good bringing me to Monacus and all. But Tex grabbed another lot and said: “Here kid – you go put these right where it counts,” and then Swindle looked a bit pissed, but then Smokey was laughing, and then we were all laughing, and it was just so FUNNY!”
"Oh yeah – hilarious…" Jazz could just imagine it. He rolled his optics, shaking his head.
And I’d never even done any gambling before, but Smokey took me round and showed me how to play all these wheels and card games and things, and he had this device he stuck on some machines that was supposed to make you win but it wasn’t working very well. He reckons: “Dang it – I thought I got that fixed?” But it didn’t matter, cos we did all right anyway, and then we went and had drinks with this cool flyer dude called Devcon who's a bounty hunter. He's an Autobot! Imagine that, an Autobot, all the way out there? I think he's undercover like Smokey.
This Devcon guy’s hotel suite was real classy and had lots of rooms and a spa and things. Trouble is, I don’t remember much after I fell off the settee. I know Tex turned up, and they were drinking these cocktail things. They were real strong, and I was laughing a lot and I did this dance and fell over - and then it all went fuzzy. But hey – Smokey looked after me and we got back all right. I guess the Combaticons (that’s what the cons are called) brought us back but I don’t really know.
It doesn’t really matter, does it? I’m here now and I got the motherboard of all headaches, but wow! Wicked adventure! Can’t wait for the next one…”
Jazz put the pad down. He ran a hand over his helm. 'Wicked adventure' - yeah, sure! "Ain’t gonna be a next one, pal..."
He supposed Smokey had (apparently) seen to it that nothing more happened to the youngster than an education in the seedier side of life, but it could have been so much worse. And did they really want to have to explain that to the 2013 Autobots? Why, that Arcee made Jazz quake in his frame.
The saboteur wasn’t going to report this, however. Naa - Prowl would find Smokey's antics more than a disappointment – he’d be devastated. And furious, and apt to throw his cousin in the brig, which really wouldn't help matters. Besides - Jazz grinned slowly as an idea occurred - he wouldn’t mind another trip to Monacus himself.
yes - what better way than a little chat with Smokey and some gentle 'coercion' with this rather fortunate find? Jazz would have another 'chat' with the youngster - just one on one. That was a much better plan.