Work Text:
Crowley let out a loud frustrated breath. Fingers that had been pinching the bridge of his nose dragged down his face.
"What's the matter now?" Crowley asked, his temper growing shorter by every single passing second that Bobby ignored him.
Dean watched on silently. He hated to use the simile, but the pair of them were fighting like some married couple. Dean's eyes flicked back and forth between Bobby, who was blatantly ignoring Crowley, and Crowley who stood behind Bobby, both hands now stuffed deep in each pocket of his coat. He hovered behind the hunter, waiting for a response. It was almost comical to see the demon doing that.
"Was it something I said?" Crowley muttered and Dean didn't know if he was talking to him, or asking himself. The comment didn't hang in the air for long.
"You know exactly what you said Crowley!" Bobby shot back. He spun around, holding a cardboard box to his chest. He gave Crowley a glare who rolled his eyes in response. He barged past the demon who let out another annoyed sigh.
"Honestly Robert, you must learn how to get less offended. Stop being so sensitive to every little word that I say." Dean grimaced as Bobby clenched his jaw tightly, setting the box down harder then necessary. The sound made him flinch and he watched on tensely.
Bobby spun around and shot daggers at Crowley. He looked the most furious Dean had seen him in a while and he found himself shifting uncomfortably as if Bobby was talking to him.
"Did you really just call me sensitive?" Bobby asked without a hint of humour in his voice. His fists were at his side, clenched so hard that his knuckles were white.
"Guys guys-" Dean started, trying to raise the mood of the room with a friendly tone and a friendly smile. He stepped forward as he spoke but was cut off by Crowley who ignored him completely.
"All I was saying, is that this whole thing is your fault and you should have come to me first." Crowley spoke, his voice hard but low. Dean glanced over to Bobby. If that man was a dog, Dean would have seen his hackles rising.
"Well good for you Mr Poncy. Mr I'm-the-King-of hell." Bobby said in a mocking voice.
"I am the the King of hell." Crowley replied in a monotone manner of fact way.
"That's not the point."
"Oh? Please enlighten me as to what the point is exactly." Crowley said with a false tone of interest.
"The point is you're the king of hell! Who cares! You don't need to keep telling us all the time!"
"Well, I wish I didn't Bobby, I really do. But I need to remind you because you always seem to forget it. You seem to forget that I can easily help you anytime. You forget I've been around for a lot longer than you and have centuries more knowledge. You forget the sources I have. If you'd just told me about-"
"Oh wow look at you." Bobby sung mockingly. "My fucking hero. I just want to kiss your feet because you're the saviour that we all need!"
"Well maybe you should. It'd be the only gratitude I'd be lucky enough to get around here."
The two men stood close. Their heaving chests almost touched and they glared at each other with such furiousity that Dean thought that both of their faces would melt off.
"Bobby, Crowley. I think both of you need to just take a couple of breathes. Relax, y'know work some things out-" Dean tried to speak soothingly. Both men needed to calm down. If Bobby snapped, he could probably pull a shotgun out of thin air and blast Crowley with rocksalt who would probably then lose his shit and drag Bobby 6 feet under. Both would regret their actions. Dean just wanted everyone to chill.
"Dean." Bobby spoke without his glare at Crowley wavering once.
"Yeah Bobby?"
"Could you wait outside for a minute?" Bobby asked. The tone was similar to that of a parent who was speaking very calmly to their child before they were about to blow up at their partner.
"Well, I don't know if that's a good idea Bobby-"
"Dean." Bobby said again, more dangerously and still not breaking eye contact with Crowley who hadn't spoken a word.
"Ok ok I'm out. I'll just wait outside because I still need that info-" Dean said backing out slowly.
"Yeah yeah sure, just wait outside." Bobby said mindlessly but still with the tone of anger. Dean raised his hands in surrender and backed out.
He quickly went out the front door to find Sam still looking in the car for some old folklore book he found which he wanted to show Bobby. Sam made an, 'Aha!' and leant up. He turned around to see Dean walking out onto the porch. He made a move to walk forward but Dean raised a hand.
"What's up?" Sam asked, clearly confused. "What's going on?"
"Oh so you want a parade? Is that it? The big celebration of gratitude you're looking for?" Bobby's thunderous shout was clearly heard and Dean grimaced.
"A little 'please' and 'thank you' once in a while goes a long way. Didn't anyone teach you and those children out there some manners?" Crowley spoke back loudly enough to be heard outside and Sam raised his eyebrows.
"They both must be having a long week if that's what they're fighting about." Sam said and Dean trotted down the stairs of the porch.
"Whatever man. I need some musical therapy after watching those two fight like a couple or something." Dean grumbled, reaching for the door handle to the impala, eager to listen to some AC/DC.
"Manners?" Bobby asked with an incredulous tone, looking pointedly down at Crowley who glared straight back.
"Yes, also known as common courtesy."
"Oh I know. I just can't believe you're getting whiny about saying please and thank you while the world is having another apocalypse. One that I'm expected to know how to stop!" Crowley rose a hand up a pinched the bridge of his nose at these words and then shot his hand forward, finger pointing and digging into Bobby's chest.
"How many times do I have to say this you silly bastard," he started slow, voice rising. "Ask me. Just fucking ask! You can be such a stuck up selfish idiot. Stop thinking about your own pride so much and putting it first all the time. Who cares if I'm the devil, I don't want an apocalypse either!" Crowley shouted.
Bobby looked at him. He glared with such a red hot gaze that Crowley second guessed himself for a second. Only a second.
"What did you just call me?" He asked in a quiet but murderous tone. Crowley puffed out his chest slightly and stood taller to show Bobby he wasn't intimidated.
"You heard me." He growled.
"Well say it again damn it!" Bobby spat. His hands ached at his sides. Fists clenching and unclenching, body shaking, arms tensed.
A big smirk spread across Crowley's face and he opened his mouth.
"Selfish. Idiot." He said smugly.
Bobby lunged forward and grabbed Crowley by the lapels of his suit, pushing him back and shoving him hard against a bookshelf.
Sam looked up from the bonnet of the car, away from his book as he heard a loud thump inside the house.
Crowley was breathing harshly. Bobby was breathing harshly. Both could feel each other's breath dancing over their faces. Crowley seemed smug that he'd managed to get such a reaction from Bobby with two words. He noted the weak points to himself.
"Say it again I dare you." Bobby growled viciously and Crowley's eyes widened... Not with fear but excitement. He had never gotten this reaction from Bobby. Never seen him this animalistic. He would make a good demon one day.
"Selfish idiot." Crowley sneered.
He wasn't shocked as a fist connected with the side of his face and he panted in pain before it turned into a laugh. Bobby looked down at Crowley. His fist itched for another hit and he raised it hesitantly, something in his mind telling him that he was taking this a bit to far. Crowley observed Bobby's raised but frozen fist.
"What's the matter Bobby, gonna hit me or not?" Crowley asked with a curious tone.
Bobby grew more hesitant, and a grin grew wide on Crowley.
Without letting Bobby say anything else, Crowley leant forward without fear and boldly kissed Bobby. Bobby froze at first as expected, but anger was easy to flip to lust, and within a couple of seconds, Bobby was pushing Crowley hard into the bookshelf, furiously kissing back the demon. Crowley smirked into the kiss. The hand that had been there to punch Crowley seconds earlier now rested against some books next to Crowley's head, steadying himself. Crowley's hands crept around Bobby's throat, up the back of his neck and then buried into Bobby's hair who groaned in response.
"I dunno Dean, that was a pretty loud crash I heard." Sam told Dean who had the door to the driver's seat open.
"Just let them figure it out." Dean told Sam wisely. "The best thing to do is to let them do their own thing. It'll be sorted out in no time." Dean said nonchalantly but Sam still wasn't convinced.
"I'm just gonna go have a look to see if anyone is hurt." Sam said stubbornly.
Dean sighed in resignation and watched his brother wander off to a window. He had one foot out of the car, resting on the gravel as he flipped through an old car magazine while music played on a low volume.
Bobby pressed his entire body against Crowley's, completely forgetting about any reasonable thought. Deep down he'd always been attracted to Crowley. Who wouldn't be? A man in a well dressed suit, smart in both looks and mind, powerful, well spoken and just extremely attractive overall. What's more is Crowley had noticeably taken an interest to Bobby who had resisted it with all his might mainly because Crowley was a demon. And not just any demon. He was the king of hell. But now, with so much anger that had just been released, it was impossible to stop the lust that flowed out right after it. Bobby was tired. There was no way he was going to hold back now.
Both of his hands were buried in Crowley's hair and the two of them kissed each other vivaciously without restraint, knowing that each other could take it.
Bobby's hands traveled down to Crowley's chest and he grabbed fistfuls of the demon's black shirt and jacket, hands rough. Crowley pulled back, laughing softly; hands trailing down Bobby's shoulders to his arms.
Sam peeked in through a window, cupping his hands around his eyes so he could see in. His eyes widened as he saw Bobby gripping Crowley's shirt tightly, holding him against an old bookcase. Crowley had his trademark smirk covering his face as he looked up at Bobby. Sam watched as Crowley's lips moved soundlessly.
"Easy on the merchandise darling, this is one of my favourite suits."
Bobby grinned down at Crowley, loving how he was taller.
"Surely you could fix it up if it got a little torn..." He said, eyes glinting and Crowley chuckled again, hands on both of Bobby's flexing arms.
"I can't remember the last time I mended something." Crowley said honestly.
"I meant with magic."
"Still, you gotta know how to do something if you want to do it, with or without magic."
Sam turned away from the window and breathed a sigh of relief. Things has gotten a bit hectic in there but it looked like Bobby was in control and not in any danger which was all Sam cared for. He put his hands in his jean pockets and started walking back over to Dean.
Dean looked up at the approaching footsteps to see his younger brother approaching.
"Well?" He asked. "What did you spy peeping Tom!" Sam chuckled at his brother.
"Ah nothing really. I mean Bobby had Crowley held up against the wall but they-"
"What!?" Dean interrupted, refilled with excitement. He pulled himself to his feet. "Yeah! Go Bobby! I wanna see."
Not wanting to waste another precious moment, Crowley leaned forward and stole another kiss. Bobby responded back just as eagerly as he had before. Crowley grinned into the kiss, hands gliding back up Bobby's plaid covered arms, back to his shoulders, pulling him close.
Dean rushed to the window, cupping around his eyes. His eyes widened in horror at the sight of Crowley and Bobby pressed against each other, gripping each other and wildly going at it. His jaw dropped and he looked away from the window, staring slack jawed at a tree as if it could give an explanation of what he just saw. He did a double take, just to make sure. Yep, still making out hardcore. Dean pulled away and turned and walked with a shocked expression back to the impala. Sam saw his face.
"What? What is it-"
"Shut up." Dean said gruffly. Sam opened his mouth to speak. "Just shut up alright? We're fucking leaving."
"But what happened, what about the information we need?"
"Damn it Sammy, I said can it!" Dean's face was flushed red and he felt the hot sludge of embarrassment weaving through him.
Bobby and Crowley barely acknowledged the retreating sound of the impala. They were far too occupied.