Chapter Text
The better part of valor
The better part of me
The better part of the world
Is here in my arms,
in you.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Come on! You'll be fine!"
Zuko looked back over his shoulder. He wanted to face Azula. Every instinct told him not to run, to stand and fight...
"Don't listen to the Blue Dragon!" the voice rang in his ears, the voice like Uncle's, the one from his nightmares.
Choose your ground, Uncle had always told him. Never let the enemy force you into a confrontation on ground of his choosing. You will be at a disadvantage from the beginning.
Every time he'd ignored his uncle's advice, it had gone badly. Every time. And every time he'd done what Azula wanted him to, it had been even worse.
He jumped. The look of relief on his uncle's face was painful, as Zuko staggered to his feet and they ran. He'd finally found his peace, here with Uncle, and Azula had come to take it away, just like always. Well, not this time.
* * *
Katara felt the earth tremble more than once, sitting in the cave full of glowing crystals. But time passed, at least a day of it, and nobody came.
She didn't stop believing that Aang, Sokka and especially Toph would somehow find her until the chute opened and Ty Lee jumped down, jabbing at her with swift fingers while Azula taunted Katara with the news that Ba Sing Se had fallen - and the Avatar had run away, leaving her behind.
* * *
"I'm sorry about your tea-shop, Uncle," Zuko said softly. They were hiding - they were good at that - in the mazes of alleys in the Lower Ring, in the attic store-room of one of Uncle's suppliers.
"So am I." Iroh looked sad and old and tired... but then he smiled, reaching out to touch Zuko's shoulder gently. "But it's all right. I have what really matters."
"We both do." Clumsily, wanting to be comforting, he reached over to give his uncle a quick, awkward hug. "But we can't stay here. We can't just... hide from the war. It's going to keep coming until everything is gone, or the Avatar stops it."
"I know that." Iroh's shoulders slumped a little. "I hoped... I am a foolish old man," he said softly. "I just wanted a little peace for us both. A home and a future not tainted by the war."
"Me too," Zuko said, looking down at his hands. He had only come around to that a couple of days ago, finally pushed the weight of his father's expectations off his shoulders, and now Azula had taken that away too. "But we can't just... hope. Azula brought down Ba Sing Se in a few months, Uncle. She almost caught us, and the Avatar. We can't just hope things will work out!"
Iroh smiled wistfully. "I should have known that you weren't ready to settle down to a peaceful life."
"I was. I am. I just..." Zuko sighed. "Nobody can have a peaceful life while this is going on. When the war is over, we'll start a new shop. You can even call it the Tea Weevil if you want to." He smiled at his uncle, wanting the sadness in his eyes to go away.
"No, that was a silly name." But Iroh did smile back. "You are right, I know you are. So. Have my lectures had their effect? Have you actually considered what we should do next, and what the consequences of those actions may be?"
Zuko sighed. "I don't know yet. But I'm admitting that I don't know. That's progress, right?"
"It is indeed. And how do we go about deciding what to do next?"
Zuko knew this one. "Information. No good general so much as puts on his boots without information, right?"
Iroh laughed. "I never thought you listened to that speech!"
"I could recite it in my sleep." Zuko smiled wryly. "You know, getting information would be a lot easier if I still had my mask. Nobody but Zhao has ever connected me to the Blue Spirit, even in suspicion, and he's not sending Azula any dispatches from where he's gone."
"Very true." Iroh sighed in turn. "Even I can make mistakes, it seems."
"Oh, well." Zuko patted his shoulder. "We'll figure something out."
* * *
Katara was so thirsty. She was chained up and paralyzed and they still wouldn't give her any water.
"She's not going to be much use to us if she dies of dehydration," the tall gloomy one pointed out. They were standing around her, Azula and her two friends, looking down at her as if she was a polar dog puppy who'd peed in the sleeping furs.
"True. And she is immobilized. Oh, all right, Mai, you can give her a drink. But Ty Lee, I want you to be ready just in case." Azula stood back, looking annoyed, and Mai poured something greenish out of a teapot, kneeling to offer Katara the small cup. Katara gulped gratefully. It tasted funny, but she didn't care. It was warm and wet...
...and Azula was smiling...
… and then everything went fuzzy.
It stayed fuzzy for a while. At intervals, food or drink were put into her mouth. Sometimes she was supported over a chamberpot. Once, someone took her clothes away and came back a while later and put them back on her. Her head cleared a little when she found that she was outside. She knew that she had been picked up by rough hands and dragged into a cart, held up between two men in black and green. There were people around her, and they were going through streets. She could hear crying, and even in her daze it bothered her.
"Let everyone know!" someone was shouting ahead of her. "See with your own eyes! The Fire Nation has taken the Avatar's water-bender! Soon we will take the Avatar himself! Let the word spread! Let the world know that the Fire Nation is supreme!"
That was kind of depressing. Katara let her head tip back, looking up at the sky. It was so pretty, nice and blue, with little fluffy white clouds. One of them looked like a boat.
After they'd gone through the city, they got on a train. She sat quietly where she'd been told to sit, looking at the sky and watching the clouds. Sometimes her vision blurred, and the clouds looked like faces or animals. That was kind of fun.
She was taken aboard a Fire Nation ship, and put in a little metal room. An old woman in red came - or was it two? - and fed her spoonfuls of bland goop and sips of tea. She swallowed what was put in her mouth, and when they asked if she needed a chamberpot she cooperated, although they had to hold her steady. After that, they told her to lie down on a metal bench with a mat over it, and she did. Nothing mattered now. It was nice. Restful.
* * *
Zuko slipped into the shed where his uncle was packing up the few supplies they'd been able to scrounge, and dropped a heavy pack beside him. "Here. This will have everything we'll need." They'd sneaked down as far as the port where the ferries landed, but the ferries were no longer running and there were Fire Nation ships and troops everywhere.
Iroh looked at it, his eyebrows rising sharply. "A marine field pack?"
"They were unloading the ships. One pack going astray won't excite any comment." It happened. The field packs held dried rations, spark rocks, cloaks, and other impersonal gear that could be issued to any soldier at need. They might not even notice it was gone. "Uncle, they've captured the water-bender. Azula paraded her through the streets before putting her onto her own ship. Everyone's talking about it."
"The girl travelling with the Avatar?" Iroh shook his head. "For bait, of course. Azula manipulates, as always. She takes the girl, and makes sure the whole city knows it, then all she need do is wait. The Avatar will come to her."
"Unless someone takes the girl from her." Zuko ran a hand through his short hair, frowning. "I can do it, but you're going to need to steal us a boat to escape on."
"No!" Iroh stood up, scowling. "Nephew, it's too dangerous! Azula - "
"Azula's personal flagship is the same make as Zhao's." Zuko opened the pack, searching for the uniform cloak it should contain. "She knows I've never been on one. They only came out two years ago, after I left the Fire Nation, and she has no way of knowing that I stowed away on Zhao's ship with your help. I know every inch of that ship. I know where the cells are, and I can even make a good guess at which one she's in."
"The central cell with the insulation," Iroh said, frowning and stroking his beard. "Yes, that would make sense. It's the most defensible spot. But - "
"Uncle, Azula knows me." Zuko sat back on his heels. "Or so she thinks. But think back. You knew me when I was thirteen. You knew me when I was fourteen, and fifteen." He smiled crookedly. "Would you ever, *ever* have suspected me of a covert infiltration?"
Iroh blinked, and then laughed ruefully. "No. No, I would not. I admit, it came as quite a surprise to me when I realized you were sneaking around as the Blue Spirit, and I did know about your skill with Dao swords. I'm not sure Azula even knows you know how to use a sword."
"She knew I took lessons, but she always scorned them, the same way Father did." Zuko sighed. "My point is, I know that ship better than Azula does, and I know all the ways to sneak in and out. I'm not going to take any stupid risks this time, Uncle, I promise... I promise," he repeated, seeing the worry on his uncle's face. "But if I can get her out, I should. We can't let Azula have a hold like this over the Avatar."
"Yes. That is true." Iroh sighed. "But I do not want to lose you, nephew. I do not want to take the risk."
"I know. I understand, I really do." Zuko stood up, and hugged his uncle - less awkwardly this time. He was getting better at it. "But this is the right thing to do. I'm sure of that."
"And what about the consequences of your action? What if you do rescue the young lady, who has no reason to see you as a rescuer, and get her away... what then?"
"Then I take her back to the Avatar," Zuko said quietly. "And I tell him I know a really good fire-bending teacher. I know he needs one." He didn't look at his uncle. He hadn't mentioned this before.
Iroh stilled. "Nephew... Zuko... are you suggesting helping the Avatar?"
"Yes." The word lay between them, treason bald and uncompromising.
"Why?"
Zuko sighed. "Because... because I don't believe the things I used to believe. I don't believe that the war is right. You've seen what I've seen, Uncle. You've seen the same refugees, the same destruction and chaos. And I've done some thinking."
"What about?"
Zuko's hand came up to touch his scar. "I was right," he said flatly. "I was right, and my father was wrong. What that general suggested was wrong and dishonourable, a betrayal of the loyal soldiers of the Fire Nation. My father is supposed to serve the Fire Nation and its people. He should have protested, but he didn't. No-one did."
"Not even me," Iroh said quietly.
"No. Not even you." Zuko looked up, meeting his uncle's eyes. "Speaking up was stupid, I know that. But it was right. I was right. And you know it."
"Yes," Iroh said quietly. "I know it. It was stupid... but it also made me very proud. You were so hurt and angry, after your father punished you, that you would not listen to me when I tried to tell you so, but I was proud. And you were right."
Zuko's throat was tight. "I'm sorry I wouldn't listen to you for so long, Uncle," he whispered. "I just..."
"You were a hurt child. You blamed yourself for what was not your fault." Iroh smoothed his hand gently over Zuko's short, scruffy hair, his voice cracking a little. "I understood, I always understood. But you have always made me proud."
Zuko snorted, trying to hide the fact that his eyes were stinging. "But I've made so many mistakes."
"Everyone does. But you seemed to know from the beginning what it took me forty years to learn." Iroh smiled mistily. "No matter how angry you were, how frustrated or unhappy, you have never wanted to hurt anyone. You will shout and make threats, perhaps burn a building or two... but you did not slaughter villagers who sheltered the Avatar. You did not kill a single person inside the Northern Water Tribe City, even though technically they were your enemies. You had that water-bender tied to a tree and instead of torturing her, or threatening to hand her over to the pirates, you attempted to *scold* her into telling you what you wanted to know! Oh, I was so proud. You value life, Zuko... every life. Even those of peasants and pirates. And you don't like to cause pain."
"My father would say that that shows that I'm weak," Zuko said, his eyes burning and his throat clogged. He wished his Uncle could have said this before... knowing that he was *proud*, that he thought Zuko was not only worth his effort, but special... but he was right. Zuko wouldn't have listened before.
"Your father would be wrong. It took the loss of my son to make me understand the true value of life, and nothing will ever teach it to your father. You always knew." Iroh hugged him tightly. "I am very proud of you, Zuko. And if you want to aid the Avatar in ending this war once and for all, I will help you however I can."
"Thank you, Uncle." Zuko wiped his eyes discreetly on his sleeve, then cleared his throat. "Can you steal a small boat?"
* * *
Sneaking onto the ship was easy. He'd had nothing to do but explore and stay out of sight for weeks, on Zhao's ship. If anything, it was easier now. He'd lost weight, when he was travelling through the Earth Kingdom alone, and muscle-mass. He cracked open a hatch that was almost invisible from the outside, sized to fit the hoses that ran from the emergency pumps and supposed to be too small for a person - but 'person' to the Fire Nation's ship-builders meant 'enemy soldier'. For a slender sixteen-year-old boy, wearing thin silks instead of armour, it was simplicity itself to eel through and close silently behind him.
He stole a uniform from the laundry, then strolled quite openly down two decks and towards the stern, shucking the uniform and resuming his new mask only one short stretch of corridor away from the cells. There would be a guard, of course, but....
To his surprise, there was a guard, and only one. He was barely even paying attention. Zuko knocked him out, but honestly doubted whether he'd needed to. If he'd had time to hang around for another half hour, the guy probably would have been asleep on watch anyway.
He couldn't understand it, until he opened the door. The girl - what was her name? He'd never actually asked - was lying on her side on a mat, her eyes open but glazed. When he knelt beside her, shaking her shoulder gently, she looked up at him with an incurious blankness that was... disturbing.
"Come on," he whispered, trying to disguise his voice. "You need to get out of here."
She blinked a few times. "You have a blue face," she mumbled after a while. "Pretty."
Oh, fuck. She'd either been drugged or... something worse. He'd been expecting chains and guards, not this. Not something that would keep her from helping him even after he freed her. "It's time to go outside," he told her, tugging on her arm until she stumbled to her feet. She couldn't seem to keep her balance, and he had to put his arm around her just to keep her from tipping over. "Come on. Let's go... go sit quietly for a minute. Can you do that?"
"Sit quie'ly. Okay." Passive and obedient, she stumbled along beside him until he could push her gently into a storage locker that contained salvage equipment. Clean and in good repair, but there was no possible way this equipment was going to be needed tonight. He sat her down on a large reel of thick rope, and she sat exactly where she was put, swaying a little and staring straight in front of her.
He knelt in front of her, holding her steady with his hands cupping her elbows. "What's your name?"
"Katara." Her eyes slowly fixed on his face again. "Blue."
"Yes, the mask is blue." Zuko took a deep breath, trying to keep his voice calm and even. "Katara, how do you feel?"
"Fuzzy." She frowned very slightly, big blue eyes seeming to clear a little. "Tea."
"Tea?"
"Bad tea. Taste bad. Fuzzy."
They *had* been drugging her - and she knew it, and was trying to tell him even through her docile haze. Okay. That was good, right? If she could think for herself even a little... "Katara, it's time to get away from the Fire Nation ship now. You want to escape, don't you?"
"Escape." She frowned again. "Good?"
"Yes. Escape is good." Zuko sighed. "Can you do exactly what I tell you, Katara?"
"Okay." Another long pause. "Voice."
"What about it?" Damn, he'd thought she was too out of it to recognize his voice! This was the last thing he needed...
"Soun' like Zuko." She sighed. "Zuko's bad. Bu' nice voice."
Zuko blinked. Several times. She thought he had a *nice voice*? "He... does?"
"Yeah. Fuzzy voice." She pouted a little. "Nice voice. Nice shoulders, too. Was'ed on tha' jerk."
Zuko was really glad he was wearing a mask, because his whole face was burning crimson. When on earth had the water-bender looked at his shoulders? And apparently appreciated them? And why was that sad pout so ridiculously adorable? "Oh. Well, that's, uh, that's a shame. But we have... escaping now." He hesitated, but the words came out almost against his will. "You can tell me more about Zuko later."
"Okay." She smiled sweetly at him. "Later."
She tried. He could tell she was trying. But she could barely stagger, as dazed as she was, and she couldn't move quietly at all. He couldn't even be angry with her for it, she tried so hard to do exactly what he told her, and she just couldn't... They needed a place to hide. Somewhere that absolutely nobody would go, somewhere secure...
Zuko grinned suddenly. He knew just the place - and how to get there. "Katara," he said gently. "Can you climb into a box and then climb out again when I tell you to?"
She smiled at him again. "Yes!"
"Good. We're going to rest for a while."
Azula was using the large cabin intended to be the captain's quarters, of course. Nothing but the best for the Princess. Zhao had felt the same way, and Zuko had spent several instructive afternoons going through his papers while Zhao was otherwise occupied.
There was a dumbwaiter that went right up to that room. It was quite secure, in theory. One opening below, so that food and linens and such could be placed in it, and one in the room itself. The lower opening would be under constant guard, if Zuko knew Azula.
But if he knew Azula, she probably hadn't considered the requirements for maintaining the thing - like access hatches.
She hadn't. It wasn't guarded, and it only took Zuko a few minutes to get Katara and then himself into Azula's bedroom. Nobody, *nobody*, would dare intrude on the Princess's own chamber, save for the maid who would clean it under guard every day. And Azula was still living it up in the Earth King's palace.
"Ugh," Katara said, when he lit a lamp. She was sitting on the floor, having obediently rolled out of the dumbwaiter as soon as the door opened. "It's all red."
"Shh. Keep your voice down." Zuko doubted that anyone would be close enough to hear, and the steel door was thick, but you never knew. "Of course it is. This is Azula's room. She's a princess of the Fire Nation."
Katara looked around, wrinkling her nose. "It's like being inside a stomach," she whispered.
Zuko was torn between outrage and a sudden desire to snicker. He was never, ever going to unsee that, was he? It kind of *was* like being in a stomach - and ridiculously luxurious, for quarters on ship. His own cabin, on his own ship, had been as barren as a cell by comparison.
Uncle had suggested that, he remembered with a pang. When Zuko had realized how bare his cabin was, he'd complained to his uncle. Iroh had told him that he might certainly have more luxuries if he wished, but most captains preferred to keep their quarters almost as spare as those of their men, to show that they were strong enough to endure anything the men were. The insecure child he'd been had immediately demanded that his soft bed be replaced with a standard issue mattress, and all decorations but the Fire Nation banners be taken down. He would prove he was strong!
Katara stood up, and he realized that she seemed a little more alert. Maybe all the moving around had helped her wake up a bit? He guided her over to the bed, and had her sit there. She looked up at him, and to his surprise she poked a slender finger at his stomach. "Don't you get any ideas, masked... guy," she said almost firmly.
Ideas? He looked from girl to bed a couple of times before the copper dropped, and then blushed furiously behind the mask. "No! Just... sit there and stay out of the way!" he hissed, hurrying over to the other side of the room. "I'll... I'll make some tea - "
"No tea!" she said very firmly indeed, and Zuko remembered that that was how they'd been drugging her.
"No, no! Not the bad tea! Good tea, to wake you up again!" Not that his 'good tea' was very good. But he knew that Azula liked strong black tea for its stimulant properties, and there should be some here... yes. Good. It only took him a minute to heat the water in the teapot, push in a handful of leaves, and leave it to steep.
While it did, he investigated a bit. Azula's desk had dispatches of minor importance piled neatly in a scroll rack. The desk looked familiar... yes, it was a copy of the one their father and grandfather had used. Zuko grinned. Had she put the secret drawer in the same place, too?
She hadn't, but all she'd done was put it on the other side, and it didn't take long to find. Here were more important dispatches, a couple of scrolls sealed with the Fire Lord's own seal... and two bags that clinked very promisingly. Gold, and plenty of it... cash in hand for bribes, he suspected. Promises only went so far with certain kinds of people, and even Uncle had always carried a certain amount of ready money. When Zuko investigated, he found that while one bag contained coins minted in the Fire Nation, the other was all Earth Kingdom money. Even better.
He slid out from behind the desk, to find Katara still sitting exactly where he'd left her, glaring at the teapot. He wondered how long she'd been doing that - he'd lost track of time while he was going through Azula's stuff - but went to pour a cup of tea. He held it out to her, and she promptly put her hands behind her back. "Don't want to," she said, almost pleadingly.
"It won't put you back to sleep. See?" He pushed his mask up a bit, to expose his mouth, and took a sip from the cup he'd offered her. It tasted awful, but black tea always did. "It's to help you wake up again. A.... an antidote."
Katara frowned, her poor dazed mind clearly trying to figure out what to do. "Antidote?"
"It's black tea. For waking up, not going to sleep." He took another sip, then offered her the cup. "See, it's not making me sleepy. Now you drink some."
She took the cup and drank obediently, draining the cup - then she made a little choking sound. "That's bad!"
"I know. I hate it too." He poured another cup and handed it to her. "But the more you can drink, the better."
While she drank the tea, making soft gagging noises all the while, Zuko shoved everything he'd found in the secret drawer into the bag Uncle had suggested he bring along, shoved into his shirt, in case anything useful turned up. He'd read the dispatches and letters later, find out what was going on...
"Consider the consequences of your actions, Prince Zuko!" his uncle's voice seemed to say in his ear, taut with irritation.
Zuko looked at the drawer. Sooner or later she would open it, and realize she'd been robbed. She would react the way she always did, lashing out... looking for someone to punish. She'd probably execute her maid, at the very least... No, he couldn't let that happen.
When he'd finished doing what he needed to do, and cleaned up any obvious traces of their presence, Katara was looking considerably more alert - merely drunk instead of semi-conscious. "We're escaping?" she said, blinking at him owlishly. "Going to find Aang?"
"That's the plan." Zuko looked out of the window. "Can you swim?"
"Like a tiger-seal," she said confidently, walking towards the window... and right into it. "Ow."
"I'm going to take that as a 'not right now'." Zuko sighed, and started unwrapping the thin rope from around his waist. "Katara, listen to me. I'm going to go get our boat, okay? And while I'm doing that, you need to stand right here and hold this bag for me. Can you do that?"
She took the bag, clutching it to her chest with both arms. "I can do that."
"Good." Thank Agni that the new design put the captain's cabin in the body of the ship, not the central tower - which was, as they'd discovered in the last few years, the first target anyone aimed for. He was near the bow, not at the stern where he'd intended to make his escape, but they'd known he'd have to escape where and how he could. The rope was long enough to get him down to water level, and Uncle shouldn't be far away.
"Where is she? Was that the captain's cabin you were climbing out of?" Iroh asked, hauling the dripping Zuko over the side. "Couldn't you get to her?"
"Oh, I got to her. But she's been drugged. She could barely walk when I found her, and I still don't think she can climb down the rope. I'll have to carry her down, or lower her." Zuko looked back towards the darkened ship. Most of the crew was still on shore-leave, and at well after midnight, the few guards were at their least alert. Something bothered him, but he couldn't tell what. "And yes, that was the captain's cabin... Azula's, actually. She's on shore, and nobody's going to dare intrude on the princess's bedroom without permission."
"Audacious," Iroh said softly. "But... not mistaken. We should hurry, though. Someone may yet see us." Zuko nodded. They brought the boat close to Azula's ship, huddling in its shadow, and he swarmed up the rope again.
Katara was standing where he'd left her, clutching the heavy bag and looking anxious. She smiled when she saw him, her eyes definitely clearer now. "You came back."
"I wasn't going to leave you behind." Oddly touched by how happy she was to see him, even if she didn't know who he was, Zuko relieved her of the bag and put an arm around her. "Now, not another word until we're away from the ship, all right?"
She nodded, leaning against him. "Okay."
Being lowered on the end of Zuko's rope must have been frightening, but she didn't make a sound. He did hear a little whimper when Uncle began to row, and heard him hushing her. Leaving the rope would be a giveaway, and it wasn't long enough for him to double it and climb down. He would have to drop into the water, as quietly as possible, and only when the boat was out of sight around the other side.
He left the room as close to undisturbed as he could. Hopefully the maid would straighten out any lingering signs. Except for the secret drawer, which contained only a single scroll, whose dull report was now overwritten with slashing black characters in Azula's own fine ink.
'Thanks for the contribution - and the intelligence.'
'Zuzu'.