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my brother has me tied up in his lab, hovering over me with a concentrated look of debased, filth-ridden glee. I get to see him like this often, but with the canceler off, his thoughts resonate inside me and there’s no escape.
tell me, kusuo, I hear, a prying echo that I can’t run from. thoughts dripping with honey and malice. weren’t you in the middle of telling me how disgusting I am? my dick stirs in kusuke’s hands, and I do my best to look up at him through the haze of arousal. it’s disturbing for me to admit, but we’ve been doing this for a while and I don't have a lot to complain about. I keep my thoughts to myself, though, and kusuke continues to work on me until he gets a grunt to escape me involuntarily.
I can feel his frustration, but he continues. “there’s a good boy,” he says, out loud, and inside he is wondering why I’m not reacting or playing along. he’s angry that I just came to him for a hand job, I can hear it. I like kusuke when he breaks down like a child, and I like having the control. kusuke has been clever enough to keep me bound with no means of escape before, but tying my hands behind my back is only a shallow symbol of restraint. the fear that tenderly lines his mind, the one that’s existed since I was born, that’s the payment for a lifetime of these games he makes me play. vengeance is the reason I thrust my hips into his hands, and I jerk his face upwards to face me, the rest of his body pulled taut by the psychic force. he’s not moving his hands anymore, but I’m still using them, and he looks at me, eyes wide from surprise or maybe lack of oxygen.
I think you’re forgetting who’s in charge here, I finally say. the wave of excitement that passes through his body reverberates throughout the room. I can see the hint of the smile that lingers at the corners of his mouth, and I can hear the echo bouncing in his mind, intensifying as his eyes lose focus. use me. use me. use me. use me. use me. use me. use me. use me--
***
at the end of the day, kusuke always gets what he wants one way or another. he sits at the other end of the room, wiping his hands clean, and even from that distance I can hear him thinking about which bruises are likely to show up tomorrow. I wonder if he’s at least a little bit ashamed, maybe on some sort of level I can’t pick up on or decipher, but he looks so satisfied, humming a little tune and playing recent events over in his head.
you really are disgusting, I say, and without looking away from what he’s doing, I can see him smile again, like a girl who just got asked out on a date.
“I wish you wouldn’t say those kinds of things to me after we’re already done, kusuo.” I hear the next part before he says it and I’m already rolling my eyes. “could it be that you want to go again? you’re insatiable!” the insatiable one is kusuke without a doubt.
I lift the canceler to him and kind of jiggle it around, signaling for him to put it on. I’ve had enough access to kusuke’s psyche.
“leaving so soon?” he says adjusting the headband, and I don’t want to know his reaction as I walk up and lean down to kiss him before taking my leave.