Chapter Text
If you asked Jeongguk why he started camming, he honestly wouldn’t know how to answer, he just sort of - did.
It was a spur of the moment decision brought on by an amalgamation of horniness, boredom, and curiosity. Also, the appeal of having some extra money didn’t hurt.
After stumbling upon the site, the first thing he posted was just a video of himself jacking off, his face out of the shot as he had been worried about his privacy - a laughable prospect now as he’s since shown his face in mostly every broadcast.
When he first posted the video, he thought it wouldn’t garner any attention at all, however the next day when he checked the website, the video had somehow amassed over 1000 views, with the comment section flooded with praises about how they loved his cute little moans and his pretty cock and thighs and Jeongguk blushed so hard he had to slam his laptop shut to recover.
Jeongguk, or “Kookie”, as he’s known to his viewers, has done regular livestreams since then, and he had no idea a) How much he’d like it and b) That it would become like a second job to him, giving him a surprising amount of extra cash.
He’s doing a video tonight, so he’s showered, shaved, and tidied the area of his room that’s in his camera’s view, and is almost ready to record.
Jeongguk opens one of the drawers under his bed, revealing a selection of toys, some purchased by him, although a lot have been kindly purchased by his viewers as gifts, something which is optional on his page.
One of the most popular toys is the butt plug with a fluffy white bunny tail on the end of it, since some people liken his smile to that of a cute bunny. Jeongguk sometimes pairs this with a rabbit ear head band to match, which he decides he wants to wear tonight.
He takes out the lube and the toy, placing them on the bed. Jeongguk opens the bottle of lube with a click, coating his fingers with the sticky substance.
He lays back against his pillows and spreads his legs, and his cock twitches against his stomach in anticipation already. A sticky finger circles his entrance, and Jeongguk bites his slip and stifles a moan as he gently pushes a finger in.
He lets out a small gasp as he wriggles his finger, and pulls it out before getting some more lube, putting two inside of himself with a moan. Jeongguk fingers himself for a while and relaxes his muscles, brushing up against his prostate just once with a shuddering gasp, before reaching for the plug and slowly inserting it. Unfortunately, it’s not a vibrating plug, but it’s enough to make him feel full and horny, and if he pushes against it, it brushes up against his prostate teasingly.
Jeongguk gets up on wobbly legs to throw on a baggy grey sweater, as well as a pair of cute white thigh high socks that emphasise his and his viewer’s favourite part of his body, his thighs. He admires his reflection in his full-length mirror, turning around and peeking over his shoulder to look at his ass, smiling at how cute it looks with the bunny tail plug and, satisfied, he turns on his camera.
**
Namjoon’s lying on his bed, propped up against his pillows with his laptop resting on his upper thighs, flickering between various tabs impatiently as he waits for the digital clock on the corner of his screen to announce that it’s 9pm.
His favourite camboy, Kookie, was doing a show tonight, and as sad as it sounds, the boy’s shows were probably one of the highlights of his week.
Namjoon is honestly pretty much gone for the boy, despite him being a stranger on the internet. He can’t help it – Kookie is the most perfect mix of adorable and hot that drives Namjoon crazy, and after a long day at the studio writing, recording, and producing, coming home and watching his stream is the perfect way to release all the pent-up stress from Namjoon’s body.
Finally, it’s almost nine, and Namjoon quickly opens one his most frequently visited sites. He clicks on Kookie’s profile and waits for the currently black screen to come to life.
The view count is already going up, and Namjoon watches as the number count adjusts and rises. The comment section is filling up quickly too, and the screen suddenly flickers to life, Kookie’s face filling the screen.
Kookie’s face is flushed and he bites his lip, before grinning that cute smile of his and casting his eyes downwards in abashment. Namjoon’s already beginning to palm himself through his sweatpants at the sight.
Kookie’s wearing a fluffy sweater, and with his ruffled dark hair and the black bunny ear headband situated on top, he looks so soft and sweet in this moment you would never guess that this is the same boy who sometimes fucks himself with vibrators until he cries.
He looks back up at the camera, his big brown doe eyes staring right into what Namjoon feels is his core.
“Hi,” Kookie greets, voice soft. “Sorry, I already touched myself without you guys.”
He admits, and he moves back from the camera so his full body is in shot as he lays on the bed. He lifts up his sweater to reveal his already hard cock curving towards his flat stomach, pink and leaking pre-cum from the tip. Namjoon’s own cock perks up in interest, mind racing with all the things he wants to do to Kookie in this moment.
Kookie runs a gentle finger up his length, teasing himself, thighs twitching as he lets out a gentle moan. Namjoon loves Kookie’s noises, could listen to him whimpering and moaning on a loop for hours, and it seems like the other viewers agree judging by how quickly the comments are being flooded with compliments for the boy.
Kookie spreads his legs even further, putting his feet flat on the mattress and letting his legs fall open, his tan thighs looking soft to the touch, and Namjoon wants to feel them underneath his hands, his lips.
Kookie trails his fingers down past his dick, his balls, before reaching the – fuck – bunny tail butt plug he has nestled inside himself, pressing down on the fluffy tail. He lets out another moan and his thighs clench and eyes close briefly, as the plug presumably brushes up against his prostate.
“Do you guys like it?” He asks coyly, and Namjoon watches as the comments fill with a stream of fervent and adamant ‘YES’s. “Wanna see?”
Kookie gets up on to his knees and turns around, slowly bending over and resting on all fours, back arched as his ass faces the camera, showing off the toy. Namjoon’s cock throbs at the sight and he can’t stop himself from reaching into his sweatpants and grabbing his hard-on.
Kookie wiggles his slim hips, teasingly shaking his ass, as he reaches a hand behind himself, pressing down on the toy. He whimpers and grabs a hold of the plug, slowly easing it in and out of himself. Namjoon wishes he could see his face right now, as he makes the most adorable facial expressions.
“Feels so good,” Kookie sighs, one hand fucking the plug in and out while he rests his head on his right forearm. He turns his face so he can make eye contact with the camera, cheeks as red as his bitten lips, bunny headband falling.
“But it’s not big enough,” he pouts. “I wish it was one of you fucking me instead.”
God, Namjoon wishes that too, wants nothing more in this moment than to bury his cock inside the other boy’s hot heat, to hear those sweet noises in real life. He pushes down his sweatpants and underwear, and lets out a quiet gasp when his cock is finally exposed. He touches himself to the same rhythm of Kookie thrusting the toy, Namjoon imagining it’s him fucking Kookie instead.
“Fuck,” Kookie whines, frustrated. “I want to cum so bad, but I can’t, I don’t know how.”
This is the part where he gets his viewers to decide for him.
Namjoon reluctantly takes his hand off his dick, pulling his laptop closer to he can type out a comment, dazed with lust.
He hits enter, and leans back, hand back on his cock as he watches the screen. Kookie’s noticed some of his comments before, as Namjoon’s sent him generous donations in the past, and Kookie always makes a point to thank people individually, which Namjoon finds sweet.
Kookie’s shifted himself again so he can read through the comments, eyes flickering as he reads them. He reads a few of them out, giggles at a few others, then he grins.
“RapMonster says ‘Why don’t you hump a pillow like the desperate little bunny you are?’” Kookie reads out, and Namjoon’s heart skips a beat in his chest before it pulses back to life, racing with excitement.
Kookie giggles, looking directly into the lens. “I am desperate RapMonster,” he says, and Namjoon swallows at the mention of his ‘name’. “But maybe I’m desperate for your cock more.”
Kookie says the last sentence with a wink, and Namjoon knows it’s all for show, knows it’s just rehearsed porn star lines that he knows will get his viewers going, but it works. Namjoon squeezes his cock, rubbing it slowly and spreading his pre-cum down the length of it as Kookie gets up on shaky knees to grab his pillows, piling them on top of each other.
Kookie straddles them, thick stocking clad thighs spread wide, placing his hands in front of him as he starts to slowly gyrate his hips. In this position Namjoon can’t help but imagine this is what Kookie would look like riding him – face flushed, thighs flexing, hair a mess, cock hard.
The boy tilts his head back and moans, exposing his throat as he grinds his hard cock against the pillows. He gyrates his slim hips, and his fingers clench into the sheets at the friction his cock must be feeling, as he shuts his eyes and gasps. Everything about Kookie seems so sensitive and it drives Namjoon wild, makes him want to ruin him until he’s a whimpering, moaning mess.
He begins to move quicker, frustrated noises leaving his lips, as he desperately tries to get himself off. Namjoon’s own hand on his dick gets quicker too, moving in time with Kookie, and his hips lift off the mattress as he thrusts into his own hand, choked moans and pants leaving his lips as he jerks himself off faster, feeling close like he knows Kookie is.
Kookie falls forward with a desperate moan as his movements get quicker and more eager, his elbows resting against the bed and his face planted in the mattress, as his ass sticks in the air, the fluffy tail visible, his bunny ear headband falling down his face. He looks wrecked, and so, so adorable.
Namjoon can see the wet mess of precum on the pillows from Kookie’s cock as he gets closer to coming. He’s making these desperate, high noises that go straight to Namjoon’s dick, hand working faster as Kookie whines.
“I-I can’t,” Kookie mewls, face screwed up and his dark hair is a messy halo around his head. “It’s not enough, I have to touch myself, please, I need to come.”
He sometimes does that, asks permission to come, which is of course met with a chorus of “yes”, “touch yourself baby”, and “cum for me sweetheart” messages in the comments section.
Kookie whimpers and wrestles a hand between him to get a hand on his cock, and he moans loudly into the sheets as he jacks himself off, hips twitching and toes flexing and curling.
His hand is a blur between his legs and Namjoon’s is the same, eyes never leaving the screen in front of him no matter how badly he wants to clamp them shut in pleasure. Kookie variates between jerking himself off and rubbing against the pillow, his moves getting sloppier as he gets closer to coming.
“G-gonna come, gonna come,” he gasps out, eyes shut and face pressed down into the mattress as he humps his pillows in quick, desperate jerks, and Namjoon can recognise in his voice that he’s nearly there.
Namjoon speeds up his own hand as he fucks into his fist, his ears filled with the sounds of Kookie’s moaning mixed with his own shaky breaths and the sound of his mattress squeaking as he thrusts his hips up off his bed, imagining that he’s fucking Kookie instead of his hand.
“Ah, ah f-fuck!” Kookie almost yells, voice high and broken as he finishes, come spurting out of his cock and making a mess, his pillows and sweater covered in white.
Namjoon can’t help it as he tips his head back and lets out a loud, deep groan of his own as he squeezes his eyes shut, overwhelmed with how hot he finds the boy on the screen, and releases all over his hand and stomach, chest heaving.
Namjoon moans, hissing a little as he gives his cock one last stroke, oversensitive. His heavy breaths intermingle with Kookie’s coming from his speakers, and Namjoon opens his eyes and looks back to his laptop.
He watches as Kookie gets up to rest on his knees, the boy flushed and panting. Kookie crawls forward and brings his face close to the camera, before looking down and swiping a finger through his own come on his sweater, slowly bringing the finger up to his pink lips, cheeks hollowing as he closes his eyes, sucking on the digit.
Namjoon lets out a soft moan and even though he just came, he still feels a throb of arousal. Kookie releases his now clean finger with a wet popping sound, his smirking face filling up the screen.
“See you guys next time.”
He turns off the camera, and the video goes black, but Namjoon’s still left staring at the screen, dazed. He rubs his face and sighs, closing his laptop.
“Fuck,” he murmurs.
*
Jeongguk switches off the camera, limbs and breath still shaking from coming. He scrolls through the comments and checks his donations, smiling at how generous his viewers are. It still sometimes baffles him how much he can make in just one night, but he’s thankful.
He looks down at himself and his bed, grimacing at the mess he’s made. He’s came all over his pillows, something he should’ve really thought through. Jeongguk realizes he still has the butt plug inside of him and so he slowly takes it out, wincing and gasping slightly at the feeling.
He goes to the bathroom to quickly clean the come off himself, before going back into his room and stripping off his clothes, changing into some pyjamas.
It’s always after doing these cam sessions that Jeongguk wishes he had someone with him afterwards, to take care of him while he comes down from his high and cuddle him and shower him in compliments. Is that selfish? Jeongguk doesn’t know, but that’s what he wants.
It might seem surprising that Jeongguk had never been in a relationship. Although he’s not a virgin, he doesn’t exactly fuck around a lot either.
Jeongguk’s generally shy, quiet and introverted, and going to clubs to hook up with random strangers isn’t something he does often, except from when he’s dragged out against his wishes by his far more extraverted friend, Taehyung.
His cam shows are a way of satisfying his needs, showing off the side of him that none of his sexual partners have seen – the softer, submissive side, the side that’s a lot less vanilla than he portrays himself to be.
Jeongguk loves reading through his comments, smiles when he sees people calling him such a good, pretty, cute, lovely boy, and blushes at the ones that are dirtier and more straight forward, confessing the things they want to do to him.
Jeongguk strips his pillows and puts them in the laundry basket, grabbing some new ones from the closet, as well as some cushions, and he piles them on his bed, his body tired in that post-orgasmic way. He climbs into bed, closing his eyes, and drifts off to sleep, ignoring the craving he has for another body to be wrapped with his.
*
Jeongguk is woken up by the grating sound of his alarm, rudely announcing that he has to be awake for work. Why is his bed only this comfortable in the morning? He groans, face squashed into his pillows. He blindly reaches over and grabs his phone, eyes squinting at the sudden brightness off the screen at he turns it off.
Eventually, Jeongguk rolls out of bed and makes his way to the bathroom, brushing his teeth and washing his face to get rid of the remnants of foundation and eyeliner he wore for his stream last night.
As per usual, his morning routine consists of grabbing whatever pair of jeans and any random hoodie that his hands first latch onto, and he shoves on an oversized jacket before he goes out the door.
It’s winter out, and the cold wind hits Jeongguk like a slap to the face, sharp and stinging. The sky’s a murky bleak grey, clouds shifting above like a splash of milk in coffee, and Jeongguk’s grateful for his affinity for wearing thick layers.
Jeongguk hates winter. Autumn is his favourite – it’s all warm, golden colours, the satisfying crunch of leaves beneath footsteps, everything scented with cinnamon and caramel and pumpkin. Winter is bleak, especially now that Christmas and New Year have been and gone. Winter is dead trees and numb hands, rain and wind and runny noses, and Jeongguk can’t wait for it to be over.
Jeongguk has never been so glad to see his work, the small coffee shop looking so warm and welcoming where it’s tucked away amongst its neighbouring buildings. Jeongguk pushes open the door, the ringing of the bell above his head and the smell of coffee that overwhelms his senses so familiar.
He walks up behind the counter, quickly taking off his jacket, grabbing the green apron with his nametag on to wear instead.
As he’s tying the knot of the apron, he hears what he thinks is plates bustling and the sound someone singing coming from the kitchen, which means that Taehyung is already here. Jeongguk pushes open the door to greet him.
Taehyung notices Jeongguk’s arrival, which is surprising as Taehyung’s in his own world the majority of the time, and his face breaks out into a boxy grin.
“Jeongguk!” He exclaims, and Jeongguk grins.
“Hi, hyung,” Jeongguk smiles, watching as Taehyung loads up the tray with cupcakes and cookies, ready to put under the counter. Taehyung’s the baker for the shop, and Jeongguk can vouch for how good he is – his red velvet cookies especially.
They walk out of the kitchen and Jeongguk starts setting up the coffee makers, switching everything on and to prepare for another inevitably busy day, while Taehyung puts the cakes in the glass display case.
The cafe may be small but it’s popular, mostly for the fact that it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg for a cup of coffee like some other places, as well as the freshly made baked goods. The shop is always warm and comforting inside too, not too noisy either, making it a popular place for college students who are often cramming in extra studying while guzzling black coffee.
“Hey, it’s a shame you couldn’t have went out with us last night,” Taehyung says, and Jeongguk feels a small twinge of guilt.
Taehyung and some of his and Jeongguk’s other friends went for a movie and food last night, inviting Jeongguk along too. However, he had a cam show last night and couldn’t afford to miss it.
None of Jeongguk’s friends know about his camming – or at least, Jeongguk hopes they don’t – and he plans on keeping it that way. He doesn’t know how he’d feel if they found out. His popularity has been rising, and he’s one of the most viewed on the entire site, meaning his identity is completely out there, which is something that he occasionally worries about.
“I know, me too,” Jeongguk says, with a shrug. “I really wanted to, but I had to finish that essay. I’d been putting it off way too long.”
Taehyung doesn’t seem to notice Jeongguk’s awkward behaviour and instead just grins and reaches over to ruffle his hair, Jeongguk squawking in protest.
“Aww, Jeongguk,” Taehyung says affectionately. “You’re so innocent, studying like the good boy you are.”
“Hyung, stop it,” he complains, slapping Taehyung’s hands away.
If only Taehyung knew just how innocent he really was, and how Jeongguk was being a called a good boy last night too, only in a completely different context.
Taehyung relents, chuckling, and goes back through to the kitchen. Jeongguk cleans up the countertop, trying to distract himself from the guilty conscious that can’t help but linger. He hates lying to his friends.
**
Namjoon’s in the studio with Yoongi, and the latter male is sat in a computer chair, chunky earphones secured on his head as he taps away at his keys and clicks his mouse, working diligently.
Namjoon on the other hand can’t stay awake. He’s sitting on the sofa, reading over his notes of lyrics and ideas he has saved on his phone, but his vision fade in and out of focus as his eyes struggle to stay open.
He closes his eyes and sighs, head falling forward and he rests it on the palms of his hands, elbows on knees.
He got to sleep late last night after watching Kookie’s cam show, and Namjoon blushes as he remembers that he went back and watched some of the previous streams too, one not being enough, and felt mortified that he’d stayed up for hours watching the boy and getting off.
When he really thinks about it, he sometimes feels dirty for watching the him, but he can’t help it. He really is slightly obsessed. He’s just so beautiful, and not only his appearance. His entire demeanour is just adorable, and from what Namjoon’s seen of him he comes across as sweet and kind, funny too. Kookie did a Q and A once after a few viewers requested it, and while, yes, a lot of the questions were sexual ones, some of them weren’t, and it was nice to get a glimpse of his personality.
Namjoon snaps out of his daze, rubbing his eyes so hard he sees little multi-coloured dots appear in his vision. He sighs.
“I need coffee,” he says to no-one in particular, knowing that Yoongi is probably too engrossed in what he’s doing that pay attention to his friend. But he surprises him with a response.
“Good, me too,” Yoongi murmurs, not looking away from his computer. “Go get some.”
Namjoon exhales a laugh, shaking his head.
Yoongi’s lucky he has a friend like Namjoon who understands his dedication to his work. Namjoon’s witnessed people get annoyed with Yoongi when he’s one of his workaholic kicks, however Namjoon finds it admirable - he’s one of the most ambitious, hard-working people Namjoon’s ever met.
“Fine,” Namjoon sighs as he grabs his coat, hat and scarf, knowing how cold it is outside, but the thought of coffee is enough to motivate him. “What do you want?”
“Coffee,” Yoongi says and Namjoon rolls his eyes. He can see Yoongi’s smirk and he laughs.
“Yeah, no shit,” Namjoon retorts. “What kind?”
“Black, like my sou– “
“Yeah, yeah, like your soul. Very original, hyung.”
**
Namjoon’s glad for the fresh air, the cold wind making him feel more alive and awake already. It’s so easy for both Namjoon and Yoongi to lock themselves up in the studio, not leaving the place until the sun has gone down.
It’s still early, so the streets aren’t too crowded yet, and Namjoon realises he doesn’t even know what time the stores open at. As he’s walking, he notices a small coffee shop that he’s never came across before. Maybe it’s new, but either way the scent of freshly brewed coffee that he can smell coming from the place is far too tempting to resist.
He pushes open the door, and as he steps in he notices how warm it is inside, so he takes off his beanie, shoving it in his pocket, and his dyed blonde hair is probably a mess of unruly strands.
He walks up to the counter where a boy is standing behind it, his back to Namjoon. He hears Namjoon approach and turns around to greet him, and when he does, Namjoon’s breath catches in his throat.
It’s Kookie – or, actually, Jeongguk according to the name tag he has neatly pinned to his apron.
Namjoon’s heart feels like it’s stopped beating, and he probably looks like an idiot with the way he freezes on the spot, words not being able to leave his mouth.
Kookie – no, Jeongguk – is looking at him expectantly with those big doe eyes that Namjoon is all too familiar with, a polite smile on his lips. He’s taller than Namjoon thought too, although Namjoon’s still taller by a few inches, and just, if not more so, good looking in real life. However, his observations are soon interrupted by Jeongguk’s voice asking:
“Can I help you?”
Namjoon fumbles a response, nervous.
“Oh, y-yeah, sorry,” he laughs awkwardly, and Jeongguk laughs softly too. Namjoon hopes Jeongguk doesn’t notice how red his face has gotten.
Namjoon tries his best to convey a cool, put-together image through his clothes and style to hide the awkward, nerdy kid that resides within, and in times like this all his effort of portraying himself to be cool turn to shit. Especially in front of pretty camboys.
Namjoon rattles off his order, trying his best to get a grip on himself as he attempts not to stutter and Jeongguk just looks at him with a quietly amused expression the entire time.
When Jeongguk turns around to work the coffee machine and prepare the drinks, Namjoon rests an elbow on the counter top and uses a hand to rub at his face, feeling out hot his cheeks are from blushing.
Great, you’re so smooth Namjoon, he thinks to himself. He lets out a sigh and runs a hand through his hair, before he notices that Jeongguk’s finished with his drinks, so he quickly stands up straight.
Jeongguk lets out a small giggle and smiles, bunny teeth showing and nose scrunching, and Namjoon gives an awkward chuckle of his own back, as Jeongguk places his drinks on the counter.
“Tired?” Jeongguk asks while ringing up the register, eyes flickering to Namjoon.
“Uh, yeah, I guess. Late night,” he responds, and mentioning that was such a bad idea as memories of Jeongguk from last night come flooding back.
Jeongguk nods. “Yeah, me too,” he says, before reading Namjoon his price.
Namjoon barely even hears the price as he’s too distracted. To anyone else Jeongguk’s statement sounds completely innocuous, but of course, Namjoon knows that’s not true.
He blindly hands over his money for Jeongguk to take and blushes again at the way Jeongguk’s fingers brush against his when he gets his change handed back to him.
“Have a nice day,” Jeongguk grins at him, and fuck, he’s so cute.
“You too,” Namjoon smiles, grabbing his drinks and making his way out of the café, still in a reverie even by the time he’s hallway down the street back to studio.
Holy shit. Holy shit. Namjoon can’t believe what just happed. He just met Kookie, the camboy he’s been obsessed with ever since he first discovered him one bored and slightly tipsy Saturday night.
It’s all so surreal to think that the cute, unassuming boy who works in a coffee shop - the boy that college girls probably giggle about to their friends and the boy that old ladies probably coo about how he’s such a polite young man - is the same person that Namjoon’s watched fuck himself on camera to thousands of people, the dirtiest words spilling out of the same mouth that just asked Namjoon for his order.
*
The shop hasn’t been as busy this morning as it usually is for some reason. They’d only had one customer so far, but it was still early hours, and so Jeongguk didn’t excite himself with the possibility of having a relaxed day at work just yet.
“Hey,” he hears Taehyung’s voice say, and Jeongguk startles, nearly dropping the cup he was holding. However, Taehyung didn’t seem to notice. “He was hot.”
Jeongguk blushes and goes back to arranging the coffee cups. Jeongguk had been thinking that too - the man who had walked in was ridiculously handsome.
He was tall and clad in all black, which made his blonde hair and pretty tan skin stand out even more. He also had the cutest dimples that Jeongguk had noticed when he smiled shyly at Jeongguk.
“Yes, he was very attractive,” Jeongguk replies, and Taehyung laughs.
“Attractive? Nah, he was more than that, he was straight up sexy. Say it Jeongguk, say it,” Taehyung teases, amused, and Jeongguk turns to look at him.
“Hyung, you’re so embarrassing,” Jeongguk states. Taehyung’s like a 12-year-old when it comes to crushes and he’s desperate to set Jeongguk up with someone, so it makes for relentless teasing. “Plus, I thought you were in the kitchen? Were you watching me or something?”
“Yeah,” Taehyung admits, shrugging. Jeongguk rolls his eyes.
“You’re so creepy, Tae,” Jeongguk says.
In response Taehyung pulls a purposefully weird face, and Jeongguk can’t stop the burst of laughter that erupts from him, both boys breaking into childish giggles. Taehyung may be weird but Jeongguk could never be annoyed with him.
“But, seriously, Jeongguk,” Taehyung says, giggling subsiding. “I’m not trying to be a dick, I just want you to talk to more people. You’re so shy, and you’ve never had a boyfriend either. You need to step out of your comfort zone more.”
Jeongguk shrugs and frowns.
It’s true he’s never had a serious boyfriend. He used to be, and still is to an extent, extremely shy and awkward. He lacked self-confidence after years of people pointing out his teeth and his nose and his bouts of acne that he gets when he’s stressed. It’s one of the other reasons he started camming, as he wanted to get over his insecurities, which he feels like he mostly has. But sometimes he still struggles.
Taehyung must’ve noticed he struck a slight nerve and so quickly changes the subject.
“Hey, well there’s a party happening Saturday,” Taehyung says. “You can come to that.”
Jeongguk hesitates.
“I don’t know, hyung,” Jeongguk mumbles.
Taehyung pouts and looks at Jeongguk with big puppy dog eyes, and Jeongguk tries to stop the small smile forming on his lips.
“Please?” Taehyung whines, pouting even more.
Jeongguk laughs and shoves his shoulder, and Taehyung acts mock offended at the light hit.
“Okay, fine,” he giggles, grinning and rolling his eyes when Taehyung exclaims in happiness at his response.
“It’ll be fun, Jeongguk,” Taehyung reassures, smiling. “It always is with me.”
Jeongguk chuckles as he knows all about Taehyung’s antics when he goes out.
An example of which being the older boy drinking so much Soju that he thinks it’s good plan to get on his hoverboard and ride around the skate park. He swore that he wouldn’t fall, yet ate his words when he fell face first onto a ramp resulting in a bruise he had to cover with foundation for weeks. Jeongguk gave him so much shit for that.
The bell above the door rings and announces a customer, so Jeongguk raises his eyebrows in response to Taehyung’s claim and relents, turning back to deal with the woman’s order.
Anyway, he thinks while absentmindedly preparing the coffee, it would be good to go out, and honestly, there’s no point trying to argue with Taehyung. He knows how easy it is to wear Jeongguk down once he starts with the puppy dog eyes.
Jeongguk sighs, and blushes when the woman at the counter shoots him a disapproving look, assuming it was directed at her. Stupid Taehyung and his Stupid Cute Face.
**
Namjoon thought a walk and some coffee would finally wake him up and make him focus on his work, but no, he’s even more distracted than ever. He just met Jeongguk. Jeon-fucking-gguk. Kookie. He still can’t believe it.
He’s broken out of his thoughts by Yoongi huffing in annoyance who spins his chair around, pulling his earphones down so they’re hanging around his neck instead.
“Okay,” Yoongi starts, sharp eyes looking at Namjoon. Yoongi really does have a great bitch face. “What’s wrong with you today?”
Namjoon freezes at the question, before shrugging nonchalantly, acting like he has no idea what Yoongi is talking about.
“Huh?” Namjoon asks. “I don’t know what you mean, I’m fine.”
Yoongi raises his eyebrows and Namjoon knows Yoongi doesn’t believe him.
“No, you’re not, you’re distracted. You’re not usually like this. Something’s up.”
He should know by now that there’s no point lying to Yoongi - the older boy’s bullshit detector has always been second to none - but he knows he can’t tell the truth unless he wants either to be made fun of relentlessly, or sound like a creepy weirdo.
“I’m fine. Seriously, hyung,” Namjoon says sincerely, not wavering under Yoongi’s piercing gaze. “I’m just really tired, that’s all.”
Yoongi sighs, nodding.
“Alright, well there’s no point in you being here if you can’t work. Go home and sleep, okay? I’ll finish everything up.”
Namjoon gives a tight smile, nodding. He feels slightly bad for being an inconvenience for Yoongi and not helping out, but at the same time, he’s thankful to go home.
“Okay, hyung,” he says as he gathers his things. He knows Yoongi cares a lot about him, even though he’d never admit it, and he shows it through small gestures like these. “See you later.”
“Sure thing,” Yoongi says, turning back to his computer. “Just try not to have too many more late nights.”
Namjoon laughs, abashed.
“I’ll try not to.”
He makes his way home, and it feels odd to come home during the day. Namjoon and Yoongi usually work late, barely even noticing the time, too engrossed in what they do.
Namjoon loves his work though, loves working with Yoongi, who’s just as passionate and driven as he his, who’s sarcastic and jaded at times but is also one of the funniest people Namjoon’s ever met. It takes a certain type of person to get along with Yoongi as not a lot of people get him like Namjoon does. Namjoon considers himself lucky to call him his best friend.
He sits on the train, watching Seoul pass him by through the window in a blur of colours, resting his chin on his palm as music flows through his earbuds. A lot of people hate public transport, but Namjoon’s always liked it – when it’s quiet he has time to read a book, and when it’s busy he people watches, observes the way they act and sit, what their posture says about them.
Eventually he reaches his stop and makes his way to his small studio apartment. Namjoon always thinks of the cliché saying, “it’s not much, but it’s home” when he enters it, the place small and compact but still his, decorated and filled in way that reflects his personality.
Shelves stacked with books of various kinds, fiction and non-fiction, written in Korean as well as English, Nietzsche and Franz Kafka, line his walls. A record player sits next to a pile of vinyl, again of varying genres, as well as a stereo system. Namjoon’s always liked to be as open-minded as possible when it comes to music, especially as he works within the industry. Hip-hop has his heart though.
Now that he’s home, his tiredness suddenly hits him like a truck. He changes into his usual sleeping attire of a t-shirt and boxers, and when he goes through to his room and crawls into bed, he falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.
**
“Uhn, Namjoon!” Jeongguk whines, throwing his head back as Namjoon’s on top of him, pressing him into the mattress, fucking into him. “Yes, oh my god – ah!”
Namjoon fucks him harder, arousal throbbing through his veins at the sounds he’s making.
“God, Jeongguk,” Namjoon moans into his neck, kissing it and loving the way Jeongguk shivers at the feel of his lips.
Jeongguk is so tight around him, warm and hot, as he thrusts in and out, Jeongguk’s noises getting louder. Namjoon puts a hand around Jeongguk’s length and Jeongguk jerks, clenching around him and moaning.
“Namjoon,” he sobs. “You feel so good.”
“You too, baby,” Namjoon says against his lips, hot breath intermingling as they pant against each other’s mouths.
“So close, so close,” Jeongguk mumbles, and Namjoon works faster.
“C’mon,” he says. “Be a good boy and come for me.”
Namjoon emphasises his words by squeezing his hand around Jeongguk’s cock and thrusting right against that spot that makes Jeongguk mewl in pleasure, and Namjoon knows Jeongguk’s about to come soon, can’t believe it’s all because of Namjoon, that Namjoon’s taking such good care of him and making him feel so good…
Namjoon’s eyes fly open, waking from his dream. He’s still in bed, and after checking the clock, he sees he’s only been sleeping for two hours. He sighs, realising that his fantasy was just that; a fantasy.
Namjoon groans, rubbing his hand over his face in frustration. His cock is hard in the confines of his boxers. Goddamnit Jeongguk.
*
University is currently kicking Jeongguk’s ass. It feels like essays and papers and study notes are taking over his life – he’ll be having a good time and then suddenly is hit with reality, and thus the stress and anxiety begins.
Not to mention the crisis he seems to be having everyday about the future. Jeongguk can barely plan what he’s having for lunch that day, never mind think about his career prospects.
Jeongguk sits on his bed, cross-legged, fingers hovering over his laptop keys as he struggles to finish his work, and decides, he can’t do this. Not tonight. It seems like all he’s been doing is studying or working these past few days. He needs to relieve some stress.
He’s going to cam tonight.
*
Jeongguk’s fresh out the shower, smelling like strawberry shower gel and skin soft from body lotion as he stands in front of his mirror getting ready.
He quickly towels his hair dry and styles it so it rests wavy on top of his head, looking ruffled, more cute and boyish.
Jeongguk opens one of his dresser drawers where he takes out a small make-up bag containing some cosmetics, as well as brushes and sponges. Jeongguk doesn’t wear make-up often, but he sometimes wears it when he’s camming, especially when he feels like looking pretty, which he does tonight.
He gently blends out his foundation and concealer, then adds powder, evening out his skin tone and hiding any blemishes or dark circles, which he definitely has thanks to school. On the rare occasions Jeongguk wears make-up, he always enjoys the process of applying it, likes watching his appearance change in the mirror.
Next, he adds a swipe of eyeshadow. It’s a pretty peach colour that glitters every time he blinks and it’s one of his favourites. He lines his eyes with black eyeliner, which he feels makes them stand out more and look bigger.
The final touch is a small dab of pink lipstick and tinted lip gloss, and the lip gloss smells and tastes like cherries. Jeongguk can’t resist biting and licking his lips to chase the flavour.
Jeongguk looks in the mirror, satisfied with his work, and puts his things away. He goes into his closet and immediately gravitates towards the items of clothing he has folded in a neat pile on the floor, grabbing them and setting them on his bed.
Jeongguk has always had a secret affinity for girl’s clothes; he loves how pretty they look and feel, the cute bows, the pleated skirts, the soft panties, the lacy thigh highs.
The people in Jeongguk’s life would probably be shocked by this, baffled even. Jeongguk’s typical attire consists of jeans, a baggy t-shirt or hoodie, and Timberlands; not the most adventurous of fashion choices.
He wishes he could do more with his clothes, though. He goes on Tumblr and sees these cute, tiny boys with delicate features and dyed hair wearing pretty, pastel clothes, or things that are more feminine and he wants that. But then he thinks he’s too tall and awkward, or not skinny enough with his muscles he’s gained from dancing and playing sports and being athletic.
It’s times like this Jeongguk’s glad he started camming, because he can show a side of himself that he yearns to be.
He takes out the clothes, laying them out on his bed as he chooses an outfit. Jeongguk then goes into one of his drawers, where he has kept a selection of panties and other underwear, as well as stockings. He picks ones that he thinks will match the outfit and lays them out on his bed too, biting his lip while smiling at how cute everything looks.
Jeongguk strips off his plaid boxers, kicking them away and reaching for the pink panties instead. The material is thin, mesh with little polkadots, and Jeongguk can’t help but blush red when he slips them on and sees his cock press against the fabric obscenely.
He doesn’t want everything revealed straight away, and so he puts on a pair of silk shorts next, also a pale pink with cream lace added for detail. They’re not too short, but they still ride high on his toned thighs.
Thigh highs are probably one of Jeongguk’s favourite things to wear and he puts them on afterwords, pulling the material up his legs and adjusting the bows so they’re centred on his thighs. Whether it be stockings or simply cute warm socks, Jeongguk loves thigh highs and the way they look on him, especially these ones, the way the bright white contrasts against his golden-hued skin.
Bras or bralettes aren’t usually something Jeongguk wears often as sometimes feels like he looks silly wearing them, but one of his viewers sent him one in the mail that he finds too pretty not to wear. The material is a thin, rose pink, with swirling designs that looks like flowers, and when he slips it on his nipples are still visible through the fabric.
On top of that Jeongguk throws on a big fluffy pink sweater that’s a few sizes too big, so it falls around his shoulders revealing the thin strap of what he’s wearing underneath.
Jeongguk watches his reflection in the mirror, and grins at how he looks, turning around so he can see the outfit at all angles. He lifts the bottom of his shorts and blushes when he sees a glimpse of the panties – even though he’s worn panties before he still gets excited butterflies in his stomach every time he does.
Satisfied with how he looks and eager to start, Jeongguk goes over to his bedside table and gets out his selection of toys and lube. For lube, he picks the strawberry flavoured one, for no other reason than he thinks it’s a cuter choice than regular lube. Looking at his toys, he takes out his Hitachi wand, one of his favourites, and a pretty, wavy glass dildo with a pink heart on one end of it.
He doesn’t prepare himself of camera – he’s too horny and doesn’t want to risk coming, so he sets up and presses record, going live.
**
Namjoon’s sitting on his sofa, engrossed in the book he’s reading and enjoying chilling out which he feels like he hasn’t done in forever, when his phone alerts him of a text. Picking it up, he sees it’s from Yoongi.
yoongi; yo need u send me that track u were working on cn u email it to me? also ive been forced to go to a party on saturday so come with me and leave the house fr once
Namjoon scoffs, laughing at his friend’s bluntness, and taps out a reply.
namjoon: yeah sure man, and lol ur as much of a hermit as me u fuckin hypocrite! but ok i’ll come
Namjoon goes through to his bedroom and grabs his laptop, sitting at his desk where it’s plugged in and quickly logging on. He sends the track to Yoongi and browses his social media for a while, when suddenly he gets a notification: Kookie’s going live!
Namjoon’s mouse hovers above the link, hesitating. Namjoon’s tried to avoid watching Kookie’s streams since he met him a few days ago, especially after having that dream about him. He hasn’t had that kind of dream in years, waking up hard like he was suddenly a sexually frustrated teenager again.
He knows Jeongguk by name now, and he feels like some kind of fourth wall has been broken. Now that Namjoon’s met Jeongguk, knows his name and his workplace, he’s having a moral dilemma over whether continuing to watch his videos is right or not.
But Namjoon clicks the link anway, and as the site loads he tells himself he’s totally not creepy, right?
The video on the screen flickers to life, showing Jeongguk kneeling on his bed, thighs clad in stockings and the rest of his outfit a baby pink. He watches as the boy teases his viewers by pulling down his silk shorts for a second, showing off a glimpse of his mesh pink panties.
Namjoon swallows. Shit. If watching Jeongguk makes him creepy then he’s the biggest creep there is, because he looks so beautiful like this Namjoon would have to be crazy to click away now.
*
Jeongguk lies against his pillows, shorts pulled down around his ankles. He whimpers as he teases his cock through his sheer panties with his Hitachi wand, the feeling of the vibrations against his sensitive cock making him jerk and cry out.
He continues to tease himself, moaning and clenching his eyes shut at the sensations. Jeongguk’s always been sensitive and gets riled up extremely easily - simply pinching his nipples or palming his cock enough to turn him on.
His viewers loved his outfit when he showed himself off to them, preening and grinning shyly at the compliments. They were also happy when Jeongguk showed off the toys he would be using, them knowing how much he’s affected by the vibrator.
His cock is hard now, straining obscenely against his panties, and Jeongguk shifts the material out of the way, pulling it under his cock. Jeongguk sighs as his cock is freed from its confines, and the sigh turns into an airy whimper when he puts the vibrator against it again, teasing the sensitive head.
He squirms, simultaneously trying to escape the feeling because it’s so good it’s overwhelming, yet also trying to get more. His thighs shake and he has to force himself to keep them spread and not clamp them together out of oversensitivity.
Jeongguk’s hand moves from where it was grabbing onto his bedsheets to pull up his sweater, playing with his nipple underneath the lacy material of the bralette, the lace adding some extra friction as he pinches it between his fingers.
His cock has started leaking pre-cum, and the only noises in the room are the buzzing of the vibrator along with Jeongguk’s desperate whimpers.
Jeongguk feels close to coming already so he switches off the wand, sitting it on the bed. He kicks off his shorts that are resting around his ankles, and reaches for the lube. He shifts his panties so that he’s still wearing them but he has more access, as he lubes up two fingers and circles them around his hole.
Jeongguk bites his lip when he pushes them in, the stretch not hurting but making him full as he instinctively clenches around the intrusion. He moans and wriggles his fingers around inside of himself until he feels comfortable, slowly beginning to thrust the two in and out when he feels ready.
He prepares himself thoroughly despite how desperate he is for his dildo. Jeongguk gently removes his fingers, blushing at the squelch noise that the action makes.
Jeongguk grabs the dildo that’s beside him and lubes it up too, making a show of it. He looks at the camera as he puts the object in his mouth, covering it with spit as he bobs his head, before covering it in lube with slow motions of his hand, acting like it was someone’s dick instead.
He pulls his panties to the side, making sure his viewers can see everything as he puts the dildo against his entrance, putting the tip of it in teasingly at first. When he finally pushes it into himself, Jeongguk tips his head back against the pillows, letting out a choked groan.
He works the glass dildo inside himself, holding onto the heart handle until the whole thing is in, Jeongguk’s chest rising and falling as he breathes, little noises escaping his mouth at how full he feels.
“Ah,,” he whimpers, voice breathy. “Fuck.”
He pulls at the handle of the dildo slightly and starts to fuck himself with it, the first thrust making his body jerk.
“Ah!” he exclaims, thrusting the toy in and out slowly at first, the noise of the lube wet and obscene sounding. “God, it feels so good.”
Jeongguk fucks himself on the dildo, face twisted in pleasure, and his cock jumps when he finally angles the toy right and finds his prostate. He lets out a loud, desperate moan as he thrusts the toy faster, hitting his spot every time in a way that has him a squirming and moaning mess.
He puts a hand on his hard cock, and he tilts back his head and lets out a sob of pleasure as he jerks himself off and thrusts the toy in and out at the same rhythm.
Jeongguk’s close, and he can tell by the knot building in his stomach, the way his toes curl in his stocking-clad feet, the intelligible words spilling from his mouth.
“Oh my God,” Jeongguk mewls, panting. “I’m so c-close, fuck, ah.”
The noise he makes when he finally comes is close a choked-off shout, and he whimpers at the feeling of his hole clenching around the dildo as he releases over his hand, on his stomach.
Jeongguk strokes himself a few more times and gives the toy a few more thrusts, before he can’t take it anymore, far too sensitive. He takes out the dildo with a moan, feeling completely wrecked as he lies panting.
After he takes a second to gather himself, Jeongguk crawls up to the camera and presses a kiss to it, giggling breathlessly before he switches it off.
**
It’s been a few days since Namjoon watched Jeongguk’s last broadcast, and Namjoon has been back to the coffee shop a couple of times, however he’s still flustered by the sight of Jeongguk. Especially when he thinks about his latest stream, and Namjoon’s wonders if he ever wears panties underneath his skinny jeans while he’s at work before he suddenly stops himself because that’s not a good train of thought to think about in public.
He’s manged to speak to him a few times without stuttering or blushing though, which he considers an achievement. Although every time Jeongguk smiles at him he still feels his breath being taken away at how adorable he is, but he figures that must be normal when it comes to Jeongguk.
He’s also noticed the way Jeongguk acts around him, giving soft smiles and looks, laughing at things Namjoon says that aren’t even funny. Namjoon figures he’s either deluding himself though, or maybe that’s just Jeongguk’s natural personality and that’s how he is with everyone. But Namjoon likes to think otherwise.
Namjoon walks into the studio, setting a Styrofoam cup on the coffee table in front of Yoongi, who’s sitting on the sofa scribbling into a notebook.
Namjoon doesn’t really know why he doesn’t write on his phone like most other people, but when he asks Yoongi he says grumbles something about it being more “authentic” and points out that phones can be broken and get lost. Namjoon knows better than to argue that the same can happen to a notebook.
“Thanks,” Yoongi mutters without looking up, still engrossed in whatever he’s writing.
Eventually he does though, grabbing his cup and taking a sip, nodding at the taste.
“This is good coffee,” he notes. “Where have you been getting it these past few days? Because I know it wasn’t from that shitty coffee machine we have in the hall.”
Namjoon grimaces as he thinks of the watery yet somehow still gritty and bitter coffee that he’s had previously from the coffee machine, and shakes his head.
“No, I get from this small coffee shop, can’t remember what it’s called though. The one next to the book store.”
“Oh,” Yoongi nods, then looks confused. “But that’s about 5 minutes away from here, right? There’s other coffee places much closer, why don’t you just go there?”
Namjoon hesitates as he tries to come up with an excuse other than, “oh yeah well it’s just that this camboy that I watch works there so I go there to see him cos I have a huge crush on him”, because he knows that Yoongi would make his life hell if he knew that was the reason.
“Just ‘cause I’m not lazy like you Grandpa Yoongi,” Namjoon teases, smirking when Yoongi rolls his eyes at the nickname. “Plus, it’s cheaper than Starbucks, so…”
He trails off and Yoongi shrugs in response, and Namjoon’s glad he accepts his lame excuse.
“I guess,” Yoongi says, taking another sip. “Anyway, you still coming to that party tomorrow?”
“Yeah, sure,” Namjoon replies, but to be honest, he had completely forgotten about the party, and hadn’t realised it was tomorrow. “Whose is it anyway?”
“I dunno whose it is, but Taehyung invited me and I haven’t been out in a while,” Yoongi says casually. “And neither have you, so you’re coming.”
Namjoon snorts.
“Well thanks for giving me the choice,” he chuckles and Yoongi laughs. “And who’s Taehyung?”
“Just this guy I know,” Yoongi says hesitantly, like he’s trying to be nonchalant but Namjoon knows otherwise. Namjoon smirks as he realises.
“Oh, just a guy, okay,” Namjoon nods, grinning. “Not like a boyfriend?”
Namjoon giggles when Yoongi visibly flusters at the suggestion, pale complexion pinking as he fumbles with an excuse. Yoongi is usually so cool, calm and collected, and it’s always fun to see him out of his element like this.
“None of your business,” he grumbles under the sound of Namjoon’s laughter, and Namjoon relents.
“Alright, sorry,” Namjoon chuckles, not wanting to deal with a disgruntled Yoongi all day. “Totally not a boyfriend. Got it.”
Yoongi holds back a smile as he nods. “Yeah, totally not.”
*
It’s Saturday, and Jeongguk’s currently in his bedroom, fretting over himself in the mirror while Taehyung just watches him, amused.
He’s going to a party tonight for the first time in months and he’s suddenly having doubts - he hasn’t been to many parties, especially one thrown by some random house by a mystery person Jeongguk doesn’t even know.
“Hyung, I don’t know what to wear,” he moans.
Jeongguk’s standing amongst a pile of clothes like a teenage girl in a dressing room at the mall, and Taehyung can’t help but laugh at his friend’s predicament.
Taehyung takes sympathy on him and looks through the clothes for an outfit to wear. Jeongguk’s got his entire wardrobe in a pile (apart from a few items that Taehyung definitely doesn’t need to see or know Jeongguk owns), and eventually Taehyung pulls out a pair of black leather pants and a black t-shirt with an “a-ha!”, holding them up to Jeongguk with an excited grin.
“These,” he says confidently, but Jeongguk shakes his head.
“I’m not wearing leather pants, are you serious?” Jeongguk exclaims, but Taehyung quiets his protests.
“Just try them on. C’mon Jeongguk, why do you even have them if you don’t wear them?” Taehyung pushes the clothes into Jeongguk hands, and Jeongguk reluctantly takes them. “You’ll look great, believe me. I know my shit when it comes to fashion, okay?”
Jeongguk sighs and takes the clothes to the bathroom across the hall, feeling too awkward to try them on in Taehyung’s presence in case he looks ridiculous. And this is coming from the boy who wears panties and pink clothes in front of a camera for money.
He strips off his clothes and puts on the leather pants, which were surprisingly easy to pull on. Jeongguk then puts on the shirt, which is simply a plain black t-shirt, however the scoop neck means that more skin than he would usually show in public is exposed.
Jeongguk walks back through to his room, where he is greeted by the older boy wolf-whistling, making Jeongguk blush and hide his face.
“Stop, shut up,” he complains, whining, but Taehyung doesn’t.
“See, Jeongguk, you look good!” Taehyung says happily, grinning.
Jeongguk hasn’t actually seen how he looks yet so he goes over to the mirror, looking at his reflection, and he begrudgingly agrees with Taehyung.
“By the way, have I ever told you how nice your ass and thighs are?” Taehyung asks casually, giggling at Jeongguk’s scandalised expression and the way his voice breaks in embarrassment when he exclaims “hyung!”.
Jeongguk gets a lot of compliments, sure, especially online, but he still can’t help the blush and swell of abashment he gets when he receives them.
However hesitant Jeongguk was to wear the outfit at first, he likes it the more he looks at himself.
“There,” Taehyung says smugly, satisfied with his work. “You’re perfect. Now, let’s get you laid.”
“Hey!”
*
They get a cab, and Jeongguk looks out the window as they drive by unfamiliar streets.
Jeongguk can tell they’re at their destination when they see a house surrounded by loitering young people and can hear the pulsing of music even through the windows of the cab, and Jeongguk suddenly feels nervous the sight of so many people.
Taehyung must notice the way Jeongguk tenses up as the vehicle comes to a stop, as he pats Jeongguk’s thigh reassuringly, smiling at him. Jeongguk smiles back and gets out of the cab as Taehyung pays the fare with the money they split earlier.
As Jeongguk walks through the door, someone bumps into him on the way out, spilling a cup of beer down Jeongguk’s shirt, and Jeongguk glares and sighs in annoyance when the guy doesn’t even apologize. Jeongguk turns to Taehyung.
“I hate this already, hyung,” he mumbles and Taehyung just shakes his head, putting an arm around Jeongguk’s shoulder.
“You’ll be fine soon,” Taehyung says. “I’ll be with you the whole time, okay?”
Jeongguk nods, muttering an “okay” and they both make their way into the heart of the party, the main room filled with the noise of pulsating beats and roaming bodies, full of people either dancing or lingering around the drinks and snacks area. Jeongguk knows where he’ll be, and he’s glad when Taehyung leads him to the drinks table.
“Alchohol makes everything better,” Taehyung says sagely, and while true, it’s not the best motto in life, Jeongguk thinks. He’s not complaining when Taehyung fills his glass up, however.
**
Namjoon found the place easily; just follow the sound of thumping bass, drunk girls yelling, and splatters of vomit on the pavement, and you’re there.
He knows that Yoongi arrived earlier than he did, so as Namjoon walks in he scans the place to try and find him, which is pretty hard considering Yoongi’s kind of tiny. Although he does have one recognisable feature – his dyed mint coloured hair, and Namjoon spots it across the room.
Namjoon walks towards him, squeezing his way awkwardly past grinding couples and he sees Yoongi talking to some tall, lanky guy wearing a leather jacket and – Jeongguk’s standing with them. What the fuck.
Namjoon freezes in place in the middle of the room. Jeongguk is here. And Yoongi is talking with him. Shit. He’s woken out of his reverie by Yoongi calling him over. Namjoon feels his heartrate rise and he’s suddenly nervous and self-conscious, fixing his carefully styled hair and his clothes to make sure he looks okay as he walks over to meet them.
Yoongi greets Namjoon and Namjoon offers a smile that he hopes looks authentic and doesn’t showcase how awkward he is right now.
“Namjoon, this is Taehyung,” Yoongi says, gesturing to the tall, lanky boy beside him.
Taehyung smiles and Namjoon will admit he’s good looking, classically handsome with a cute boxy grin that makes his eyes crinkle, and he offers a hand for Namjoon to shake.
“Nice to meet you,” Taehyung greets with a voice smoother and deeper than Namjoon was expecting from his looks.
“You too, man,” Namjoon responds, shaking his hand.
He lets go of Taehyung’s hand and shoots Yoongi a look that conveys “I approve”, which Yoongi responds to with an eye roll. Namjoon notices Jeongguk in the corner of his eye, who’s playing with the bottle of beer in his hand, seemingly nervous.
“And uh, sorry, what’s your name again?” Yoongi asks to Jeongguk, who blushes and looks uncomfortable at all the eyes on him.
“Jeongguk,” Taehyung and Jeongguk both say at the same time, and Namjoon watches the way both boys smile fondly at each other. Taehyung seems protective over Jeongguk’s shyer personality, like an older brother looking after a younger brother, and Namjoon finds it sweet.
“Hi,” Namjoon smiles, offering his hand to Jeongguk who takes it with his own shy grin. Namjoon swallows nervously when Jeongguk’s hand touches his, warm and sending pleasant, cliché tingles up Namjoon’s spine at the contact.
“Hi,” Jeongguk says back.
They both hold the handshake for a beat too long, and only drop their hands when Namjoon absentmindedly strokes the back of Jeongguk’s hand with his thumb, causing Jeongguk to blush and Namjoon to let out an awkward laugh as he scratches the back of his neck nervously.
There’s a silence and then Yoongi speaks. Thank God.
“Uh, yeah, anyway,” he drawls, eyes flickering between the two boys curiously. “We’re going to mingle, we’ll leave you guys to it.”
Yoongi makes to move through the crowd and Taehyung goes with him, but not before he pats Jeongguk on the arm with an enthusiastic grin and a thumbs-up he probably thought was subtle. The implication makes both Namjoon and Jeongguk fumble slightly, and Namjoon doesn’t think he’s seen Jeongguk blush this much even on camera. He would’ve never guessed he was this shy in real life. It’s cute though.
He and Jeongguk stand around for a few seconds, and it’s only now that he notices Jeongguk’s outfit; tight leather pants that cling to him obscenely, a low cut black t-shirt, which makes Jeongguk look ridiculously attractive.
Namjoon finds it hard to tear his eyes away from the expanse of skin revealed by the t-shirt, and even harder to look away from his thighs. Jeongguk catches him staring and Namjoon turns his head, clearing his throat, a habit.
“So,” Namjoon blurts, wanting to break the weird tension. “This is awkward.”
To Namjoon’s surprise Jeongguk actually laughs, high-pitched and slightly dorky sounding, and Namjoon does too.
“Yeah,” Jeongguk giggles, and he seems slightly less nervous now. “I don’t usually go to parties. Taehyung said he’d stay with me, but I guess not.”
Jeongguk says, shrugging, but it’s tinged with a fraction of annoyance. Namjoon can relate to the whole not going out thing much, although with Jeongguk it seems like it must be worse for him to be at a party without his friend than it is for Namjoon.
“Sorry, you’re stuck me now,” Namjoon chuckles. It’s a joke but he also kind of hopes that Jeongguk will actually want to talk with him for a while.
Jeongguk bites his lip and nods, and Namjoon is momentarily distracted by the sight of his teeth digging into his pink bottom lip, little indents left behind.
“Well, that’s okay. I don’t mind,” he says softly, looking up at Namjoon and he sounds flirtatious, which causes Namjoon’s brain to short circuit momentarily before it kicks back into action again and reminds him to respond rather than stand there like an idiot.
“Good,” he replies, and Jeongguk smiles. “Neither do I.”
*
Jeongguk and Namjoon have somehow managed to find themselves a relatively quiet area within the house, and have been sitting and talking for what is probably an hour but feels like 10 minutes.
Jeongguk giggles in between sips of his drink as Namjoon tells him stories about Yoongi that Jeongguk wants to tell Taehyung so badly, but Namjoon promised Yoongi would kill him if he did. The whole time though, Jeongguk’s trying not to get lost in the other man’s smooth voice and dimples and immaculate hair and tan skin and pretty eyes.
Jeongguk has had a slight crush on Namjoon since he became a regular at the coffee shop, and, as pathetic as it was, his work day would get a little brighter when he walked in.
Jeongguk was glad to put a name to a face, and is now extremely thankful for Taehyung dragging him out, as well as Yoongi for doing the same to Namjoon. Jeongguk’s romanticism tells him it’s fate that they met tonight, but the realist in him tries not to believe that.
He thinks Namjoon’s flirting with him too and the thought makes Jeongguk feel giddy, although maybe that’s just the alcohol’s effect. But sometimes Jeongguk will smile or laugh and he sees Namjoon automatically do the same, expression soft, or he’ll watch as Namjoon’s eyes roam his body, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows.
“Well, tell Yoongi thanks for making you come here tonight,” Jeongguk says and Namjoon chuckles, confused.
“Why?”
“Because then I wouldn’t have been able to talk to you,” Jeongguk admits, hesitant. “Please don’t think I’m creepy, but ever since you started coming into the coffee shop I’ve kind of had a crush on you.”
Jeongguk looks down when he says it, and when he returns his gaze to Namjoon’s his face is in shock, then he lets out a startled laugh.
“Seriously?” he asks, and Jeongguk nods, covering his face with one hand, embarrassed. “I mean, the whole reason I started coming into the place you work so often was because I thought you were cute, so…”
Namjoon trails off at the end of the sentence, and now it’s Jeongguk’s turn to look shocked.
“Really?”
“Yep, really,” Namjoon replies, and Jeongguk smiles shyly, ducking his head.
Jeongguk nipples on his lip and looks at the cup of alcohol in his hand, swirling the liquid around. Jeongguk drains his drink, throat burning, and head already buzzing, which is why he gets the confidence to grab Namjoon by his hand, and ask him if he wants to go and dance.
Namjoon looks at him with a dazed expression for a second, before he quickly snaps out of it and nods. Jeongguk laughs and drags him up from their seated position and in amongst the crowd of bodies.
The room is dimly lit and there’s a generic top 40 playlist on in the background. As Jeongguk looks around he sees couples making out and grinding against each other, as well as people sitting in small groups drinking and talking like Jeongguk and Namjoon were doing.
He can’t see Taehyung or Yoongi anywhere though, and then he thinks that they may have gone upstairs to fuck in one of the bedrooms. He wouldn’t be surprised.
Namjoon and Jeongguk seclude themselves near the corner of the room, and Namjoon immediately goes to wrap his arms around Jeongguk’s waist. Jeongguk grins and Namjoon smiles back, eyes scanning Jeongguk’s face.
Jeongguk’s own arms go up to wrap around Namjoon’s broad shoulders, fingers playing with the soft material of his t-shirt, and Namjoon leans down slightly so that their foreheads can rest together. The close contact makes Jeongguk’s short burst of confidence fizzle into mush as he feels his face heat up at Namjoon’s intense gaze.
They both move to the music playing in the background, and Namjoon’s hands soon shift down to Jeongguk’s ass, pressing their bodies closer so they’re flush together. Jeongguk can’t help the sharp gasp he makes when he feels feel Namjoon’s body against his own, tall and solid and warm.
“You’re so adorable,” he murmurs, and he smirks when Jeongguk averts his eyes from his hot gaze.
“Shut up,” Jeongguk mumbles which just causes Namjoon to laugh softly.
“What, you don’t like being called cute?” Namjoon asks teasingly, voice low and deep in a way that gives Jeongguk shivers. “Fine, how about, you’re really, really sexy?”
As Namjoon says that he grabs Jeongguk’s ass and squeezes, grinding their hips together and Jeongguk gasps and digs his fingers into Namjoon’s shoulders. Jeongguk’s face is red hot, and he’s thankful that the room is so dark that Namjoon can’t see what a few simple words and actions can do to him.
“Namjoon,” Jeongguk whispers, and Namjoon puts a finger under Jeongguk’s chin, bringing his face up towards his. They’re so close now their noses are touching, and Jeongguk can feel Namjoon’s breath against his skin. Jeongguk’s heart is hammering inside his chest, and he can barely even hear the music due to his pulse pounding in his ears.
Namjoon makes the first move, and the initial touch of the older boy’s lips against his shocks Jeongguk back into the moment. His lips are soft and full, and he tastes like lollipops and beer when Jeongguk opens his mouth for Namjoon’s tongue.
One of Jeongguk’s hands tangles in the taller boy’s blonde hair, angling his head down to get deeper into his mouth. Namjoon groans and squeezes Jeongguk’s ass with one hand, the other hand moving from Jeongguk’s chin to the side of his face, cupping his cheek gently. Their bodies are pressed so close together that Jeongguk can feel Namjoon’s half-hard cock against his stomach and he groans and pushes himself closer to the older boy.
Jeongguk is barely aware of anything else that’s happening around them, lost in the feel of Namjoon’s lips and hands and body, the music fading into the background as the only sounds Jeongguk can hear is each other’s breathing and the soft, wet noises from their lips as they kiss.
But the moment is torn apart by a familiar voice, and Jeongguk and Namjoon pull away from each other suddenly at the intrusion.
“Jeongguk!”
Taehyung makes a beeline towards Jeongguk, and he’s clearly drank a lot more than Jeongguk has. He wraps his arms around Jeongguk, giving him a hug, and Jeongguk nearly topples over from the dead weight clinging onto him.
“Hi, Tae,” Jeongguk mumbles.
“I haven’t seen you all night!” Taehyung exclaims, face etched into a pout, and Jeongguk rolls his eyes and sighs.
“Well yeah, because you left me for your new boyfriend.”
Jeongguk can hear Namjoon snort behind him, and Taehyung’s eyebrows knit together.
“Are you angry with me?” he asks and Jeongguk softens.
Sober Taehyung is pretty sensitive and drunk Taehyung is even more so, and yeah, Jeongguk was initially annoyed that Taehyung left him alone, but if he hadn’t he wouldn’t have gotten to spend time with Namjoon. Jeongguk’s more annoyed at what Taehyung interrupted.
“No, I’m not mad,” Jeongguk says, glancing over at Namjoon.
Taehyung’s eyes flit between the two boys, and a slow grin spreads over his face in understanding.
“Ohh,” he drawls, nodding with a smirk. “I see. Have I interrupted something? Oh my God, I’m so proud of you Jeongguk! Are you finally going to get laid for the first time in months?”
Jeongguk shuts Taehyung up with a scandalised stutter, and when he hears Namjoon’s loud burst of laughter emit from behind him, Jeongguk kind of wants to die. Taehyung, as usual, doesn’t seem to notice or care about the embarrassment he’s caused his friend.
“Anyway, I was just coming to tell you that Yoongi and I are going to my place, so I’ll leave you guys to it.”
Taehyung gives them both and exaggerated wink and a raise of his eyebrows, and Jeongguk doesn’t know if he’s doing that to imply that he and Yoongi are going to fuck or Jeongguk and Namjoon. Either way, Taehyung’s annoying. He watches Taehyung’s retreating back as he walks away before turning to face Namjoon again.
“Sorry about him,” Jeongguk awkwardly laughs but Namjoon just shakes his head.
“It’s fine, Yoongi’s always giving me shit too, I get it,” Namjoon chuckles and Jeongguk smiles.
There’s a beat of silence between them and Jeongguk worries that whatever they had is now somehow ruined, until he sees Namjoon walk towards him and bridge the gap between them again.
Jeongguk swallows as Namjoon gently places his hands on his hips, slight smirk on his lips, but the way he casts his eyes downward makes him look shy and nervous. Jeongguk thinks it’s cute.
“So, uh,” Namjoon starts. “We could go back to mine too if you want?”
Namjoon tilts his head up, eyes looking into Jeongguk’s and Jeongguk freezes, words lost. He really does want to, Namjoon’s one of the hottest guys he’s ever met, but something makes him stop. He likes Namjoon, and doesn’t want to be some one night stand or another notch on his bedpost.
Namjoon seems to notice his uncertainty and backtracks.
“I-I mean, uh, not like that, y’know, and we don’t have to do anything, I was just-“
Jeongguk shakes his head and giggles, and Namjoon stops, seemingly relieved he hasn’t upset or offended Jeongguk.
“It’s okay, Namjoon,” Jeongguk laughs. “I do want to, but I also want us to, maybe, like, go out sometime?”
“Yeah,” Namjoon grins so that Jeongguk can see the dimples in his cheeks. “I’d like that too.”
Jeongguk thanks the Lord for alcohol because otherwise he highly doubts he would have ever asked Namjoon out, but with the way he notices how the other boy’s expression brightens even in the darkness of the room, Jeongguk’s glad he did.
**
Namjoon wakes up in the morning with a clear head, unlike, he’s assuming, Jeongguk or Yoongi or Taehyung. Jeongguk wasn’t wasted though, just slightly tipsy in a way that made him giggly and flirty and cute. When he acts like that however, Namjoon’s reminded of his cam shows - which he still feels wrong thinking about when he’s around Jeongguk.
He grabs his phone to go through his usual routine of checking his texts and social media, and he has two texts from a new number. One was sent an hour after left the party, and the next was only 20 minutes ago.
unknown: hi its jeongguk!! ^^ tae got ur number from yoongi who gave it to me sorry if that’s weird im still a little drunk!! Lol! but i wanted to ask u do u want to go on a date?? im soo glad im drunk or i wouldn’t have asked u
unknown: I’m so sorry about that last text I sent you omg ><
Namjoon actually laughs out loud at this, Jeongguk’s drunk texting is ridiculously endearing. He saves Jeongguk’s number to his phone and doesn’t even register that he’s typed it as ‘Kookie’ until it’s saved, however he did manage not to put a little heart emoji beside it.
namjoon: hey don’t be sorry, it was cute, and if ur not regretting sending that text too much then yes I’d love go on a date ^^
Namjoon had no idea why simply sending a text is making him feel nervous, but when he sees the little dots on the screen that indicates Jeongguk’s typing, he does. He just has that effect on him.
kookie; if u come by the coffee shop tomorrow after my shift we could go out 4 something then? like after 7? if that’s ok with u
Namjoon usually leaves the studio slightly later but for Jeongguk he can compromise, and Yoongi will probably understand, seeing as he’s now dating Taehyung. And fuck – now Yoongi’s going to know that the reason Namjoon went to the coffee shop so often was to see Jeongguk. Namjoon is going to get roasted tomorrow.
namjoon: perfect, it’s a date ^^
Namjoon feels like his life right now is like a teen drama, and can’t quite believe that he’s a 22-year-old man getting nervous over a date with a pretty boy. What has Jeongguk reduced him to, seriously.
*
Monday is dragging on way too long. Monday is always the busiest day in the coffee shop, with men dressed in suits going to work in the city and college kids coming in with tired eyes needing to be perked up.
Jeongguk’s already burned his hand on the coffee machine and been snapped at three times by people complaining that their order is taking too long. The only thing that’s keeping him going today is the fact that he’s got a date with Namjoon, and even just thinking about it makes his face want to split into a grin. He’ll admit he’s been slightly distracted all day.
When Jeongguk texted the older boy yesterday he thought it might be too soon, but he was so eager to see him again he couldn’t help his fingers from typing out the message, despite the nervous little butterflies that were in his stomach. Thankfully, Namjoon had said yes.
By some sort of miracle, the hours pass by and eventually it’s nearing 7 o’clock, the last remaining customers dwindling away until the shop is empty and they’re ready to close.
Jeongguk takes off his apron and hangs it back up on the wall. He pulls out a red, baggy sweater with a graphic prink from his backpack, pulling it over his head and attempting to look somewhat stylish for Namjoon.
Taehyung comes out from the kitchen, remnants of flour in his hair and dusted on his clothes, as usual.
“You can leave now Jeongguk, I’ll close the shop,” Taehyung offers, as that’s what he usually does.
“No, it’s fine,” Jeongguk shakes his head. “I’ll do it this time, hyung, you can go. You’ve been working hard today so it’s only fair.”
Taehyung screws his dark eyebrows together in confusion, and Jeongguk sighs.
“I’ve got a date with Namjoon tonight, and I’d kind of appreciate it if you could leave before he comes.”
Jeongguk says it all in one breath, and understanding dawns on Taehyung’s face before his lips pull into a smirk, then a full-on grin.
“I knew it!” he exclaims, triumphant. “I knew you two liked each other, the sexual tension the other night at the party ridiculous. Told you you’d get laid!”
“I didn’t get laid,” Jeongguk says, but Taehyung just raises a disbelieving eyebrow. “Although, when you saw us and the end of the night you interrupted us making out, so, y’know, thanks for that.”
Why this fact makes Taehyung so happy, Jeongguk has no idea, but somehow it does and Taehyung’s mouth drops open in shock.
“Jeongguk! I’m so proud of you, my baby’s all grown up,” he says, hands clutched to his heart and he really does say the most ridiculous things sometimes. “You can thank me later.”
Jeongguk lets out a laugh.
“Thank you? For what?”
Taehyung rolls his eyes.
“Well, duh, I’m the one who made you go to the party, so therefore I’m the reason you made out with Namjoon. I also put your outfit together and made you look hot as fuck, so I’m pretty much the perfect match-maker ever.”
Taehyung says all of this as if it’s an obvious fact, and Jeongguk laughs and shakes his head.
“Okay, Taehyung, thanks,” Jeongguk appeases, laughing.
Taehyung nods and his facial expression is smug.
“You’re welcome.”
**
Namjoon managed to weasel his way out of the studio early. He hadn’t told Yoongi that he was going on a date with Jeongguk, because he knew that if he did he’d be stopped by Yoongi asking him a million questions, probably followed by telling him to use a condom, cause Yoongi thinks he’s witty like that.
Namjoon’s not really the kind of person that dates, if he’s honest. He has one night stands and friends with benefits and fucks a lot, boys and girls, but he hasn’t been on many dates, and hasn’t had a partner in over two years ever since he broke up with Seokjin.
However, he’d have to be crazy to pass up the chance to go out with Jeongguk. Yeah, he’ll admit, on Saturday he really, really wanted to take Jeongguk home and fuck him, but he also wants more than that – wants to make him laugh so that his eyes light up, take him out and treat him, have his head tucked into his shoulder while they watch shitty dramas on TV.
Namjoon’s dressed pretty casually, an all-black outfit as usual, wearing skinny jeans that he knows draws attention to how long and tall his legs are, and a button up shirt that emphasises the broadness of his shoulders and chest, as well as a long coat and scarf. He spends far too long fussing with his hair in the mirror with product, before he’s walking out the door and into the cool, night air of Seoul.
He makes his way to the coffee shop, little bell ringing above his head as he enters. Jeongguk’s sitting at a table on his phone, and he snaps his head up at the sound, grinning widely at the sight of Namjoon, and Namjoon smiles back. The boy gets up from his seat and goes up to greet Namjoon.
“Hi,” he says. “You came.”
Jeongguk sounds somewhat relieved, which Namjoon can’t understand.
“Of course I did,” Namjoon says, chuckling.
Jeongguk smiles with his bunny teeth and crinkly eyes.
“Well, I’m glad you did,” he responds softly.
Jeongguk grabs his things to leave, quickly circling around the shop, switching all the lights and equipment off, bathing the room in darkness.
Namjoon opens the door and holds it open for Jeongguk to walk out first, which earns him a smile. Jeongguk then grabs a pair of keys from the pocket of his baggy hoodie, jangling them and locking the door.
He looks up at Namjoon, smiling softly and dark eyes looking like they’re twinkling under the reflection of the streetlights.
“Let’s go.”
*
Jeongguk tries to control the excitement and nervousness fizzing in his stomach, emotions churning inside him. He feels like a teenage girl who’s giddy around their crush.
Namjoon and Jeongguk walk and make their way along the streets of Seoul. The area is alive and buzzing, and with the amount of people Namjoon and Jeongguk manage to hold hands without receiving too many weird looks. Jeongguk can tell that Namjoon’s an introvert like him, but he’s far more talkative and outgoing, so conversation never dries up. He’s also ridiculously dorky, and makes Jeongguk laugh his ugly laugh that he usually never does around people other than Taehyung.
They stop at vendors and eat tteokbokki and Jeongguk pretends like it isn’t too spicy, because Namjoon tells him it’s one of his favourite street foods and Jeongguk nods and says “me too”, even though his tongue is burning.
It’s pretty cold out, and despite Jeongguk’s hoodie and beanie he’s still chilly, hands freezing as he eats and teeth chittering. Namjoon notices, and Jeongguk blushes when he wraps his scarf around Jeongguk’s neck, tucking it into his hoodie so it’s snug against Jeongguk’s neck and chin.
Namjoon smiles with his cute dimples and Jeongguk really wants to kiss him, but knows that the area they’re in isn’t progressive enough for that, and just grins back instead, putting his head briefly on Namjoon’s shoulder as they walk.
“I’ll admit, I don’t really have a plan for this date,” Namjoon confesses with a chuckle.
Jeongguk laughs.
“I mean, I was the one who invited you, not the other way around. Just as long as I can spend time with you I don’t mind what we do.”
Jeongguk feels himself get embarrassed as he admits the last part, especially when Namjoon looks down at him fondly. Jeongguk’s glad that the cold air has already tinged his cheeks as red as his sweatshirt.
They eventually stumble into a restaurant that neither of them have been before, but they decide “why not?” and make their way inside. Even though he’s just ate, Jeongguk’s mouth practically waters as the smell of sizzling meat hits his senses.
“Oh, everything smells so good here,” Jeongguk says in awe, looking at the menu as they take a seat.
“I know, right?” Namjoon chuckles, agreeing. “Order what you want, my treat.”
Jeongguk’s shock must show on his face, and he begins to protest but Namjoon waves him off.
“It’s fine,” Namjoon insists. “I know you students survive on nothing but instant ramen all day, believe me, I’ve been there. You deserve some proper food.”
Jeongguk’s still shocked, especially looking at the prices of the dishes on the menu, none of which are that cheap. He knows that Namjoon works at a recording studio, but he can’t imagine he makes that much money, and feels slightly awkward that he’s invited Namjoon out only for him to pay for the meal. However, he realizes that debating with Namjoon will get him nowhere, so he relents.
Plus, in all honesty, Jeongguk really does want some proper food. His coffee shop job doesn’t pay much, and though he gets good cash from camming, a lot of that money goes towards rent and other bills, which in the city, are pretty high.
“Thank you,” he says sincerely. “But next time we go out, I’m paying for everything.”
Namjoon laughs at this, raising an eyebrow.
“Next time?”
Jeongguk shrugs, raising an eyebrow back. It was a slip of the tongue, but he would love to go out with the older boy again.
“Yeah,” he says, and Namjoon smiles. “If you want, that is?”
Namjoon snorts.
“Of course, I do, stupid,” Namjoon retorts, and Jeongguk breaks out into giggles.
On the inside though, his heart is beating fast, overjoyed by the automatic response from Namjoon.
They decide to order food to share, and grill meat and share bowls of rice and kimchi between them, and everything tastes fantastic. Jeongguk can’t help but let out a satisfied moan when he eats a particularly delicious piece of meat, before he notices Namjoon staring intently at him, chopsticks hovering in mid-air.
Jeongguk averts his eyes and feels his face flush, and Namjoon does the same, quickly shoveling his food into his mouth. There’s a lot of food, both of their eyes bigger than their stomachs, and they have to stop eating eventually, taking a break.
“So,” Namjoon says, taking a sip of his drink. “You’re not originally from Seoul, right? I couldn’t help but notice your accent.”
Jeongguk nods.
“I’m from Busan. I moved here last year, so my accent hasn’t completely disappeared yet,” he chuckles.
“Good, I like it. It’s cute,” Namjoon replies, smiling, and Jeongguk grins and ducks his head. “Why’d you move here? University?”
“Yeah, that and-” Jeongguk hesitates. “Some other personal reasons.”
Namjoon frowns, looking concerned.
“Oh? I’m sorry, you don’t have to talk about it, I didn’t mean-“
Jeongguk shakes his head, indicating that it’s okay.
“I don’t mind, don’t worry. But, maybe some other time, yeah?”
Namjoon nods his head, expression serious and sincere.
“Of course.”
They’re both quiet for a couple of seconds, Jeongguk playing with his rice using a chopstick, only the bustling of the restaurant and the chatter of those around them filling the room.
Namjoon clears his throat, breaking the slightly awkward tension, and Jeongguk brings his eyes up to look at him.
“Anyway,” Namjoon starts. “Did I tell you about the time Yoongi met Kumamon and almost cried?”
**
The date ran smoothly last night, and Yoongi finally managed to wrestle the fact out of him while they’re working.
“I mean, Taehyung already told me, but I wanted to hear you admit it,” he says, chuckling, and Namjoon shakes his head.
They have a day off tomorrow and Yoongi suggests they go out for drinks, with the knowledge that they can nurse their hangovers in their bed rather than at the studio, and Namjoon agrees.
They get there and Namjoon and Yoongi make their way to their local booth, Yoongi announcing that he’s getting the drinks. Namjoon sits in the booth and the music played in the local bar is actually good for once, Namjoon observes, pleasantly surprised.
Yoongi plonks down in the seat opposite Namjoon, his glass of whiskey on the rocks in one hand and Namjoon’s beer in the other. Namjoon thanks him, taking a sip.
“Anyway, tell me more about your date with Taehyung’s jailbait friend.”
Namjoon chokes on his beer, spluttering as Yoongi just looks at him with a smirk.
“He’s not jailbait!” Namjoon protests and Yoongi raises his eyebrows. “He’s only three years younger than I am!”
“I’m kidding,” Yoongi chuckles dryly, and Namjoon wipes his mouth where some of his drink had spilled. “Just wanted to see your reaction. But seriously though, I thought the kid was like 17.”
No, Jeongguk is definitely an adult, Namjoon thinks, face heating as he thinks of why he knows this fact. He takes a swig from his bottle, throat still sore from where the liquid went down the wrong way a few seconds ago.
“Yeah, well, he’s not, alright? Besides, you’re one to talk – you’re older than me yet you could probably fit into my teenage sister’s clothes.”
Yoongi screws his face up, throwing a stale pretzel at Namjoon who laughs and bats it away.
“But anyway,” Namjoon continues. “The date was good, thanks for your concern.”
Yoongi nods, taking another sip of his drink.
“Do you like him?”
“Yeah, he’s cute.”
Yoongi rolls his eyes.
“Well yeah, duh, I mean as a person. Do you think you’re going to see him again? Because I know you Namjoon, don’t fuck around with him and then never talk to him again like you usually do. Taehyung told me about the boy’s heart-eyes for you, and he’s never dated anyone either. Plus, if you fuck it up with Jeongguk, then Taehyung will probably break up with me too.”
“And here I thought you were concerned about me, but no, it’s just about you,” Namjoon teases, trying to lighten the mood.
“Namjoon.”
Namjoon sighs. Trust Yoongi to make everything deep on what’s supposed to be a fun, relaxing night.
“I mean, yeah, I do like him,” Namjoon admits, raking a hand through his hair. “I just – it’s complicated.”
Namjoon does like Jeongguk, likes him a lot, dreams about him and thinks about him all the time. Yet, he feels weird about the whole Jeongguk being a camboy and jacking off to him and obsessing over his videos for months thing.
Let’s say he and Jeongguk do start dating seriously, what if the subject comes up? What if Jeongguk finds out that Namjoon knew who he was and thinks he’s a stalker, or Jeongguk admits to him that he’s a camboy and Namjoon has to lie through his teeth and pretend he’s shocked? The truth will come out eventually, and Namjoon doesn’t think it’s going to be pretty when it does.
Yoongi frowns, looking intrigued, and Namjoon suddenly regrets saying anything. Fucking Min Yoongi and his deep conversations.
“How so?”
Namjoon shakes his head. There’s no way he’s saying any of this to Yoongi. It’s not so much that he doesn’t trust him or thinks he’ll be judged, but he cares about Jeongguk, and doesn’t want to go around spreading that he’s a camboy to his friends. Even if Yoongi keeps the information to himself, he’ll still know, and maybe once he gets closer to Taehyung the fact will slip out.
“Just believe me, it is,” Namjoon says and Yoongi thankfully doesn’t push him further. “But yeah - I really like him.”
Namjoon admits while playing with the sticker on his bottle, and Yoongi smiles, nodding.
“I’m glad. You deserve someone,” Yoongi says far too sincerely in a way that makes Namjoon blush.
“C’mon don’t say that sappy shit, hyung, it’s been one date.”
Yoongi laughs and shrugs.
“Yeah, but I can tell these sorts of things,” Yoongi muses sagely, Namjoon raising his eyebrows in disbelief.
“Oh, really?”
Yoongi nods and Namjoon shakes his head, chuckling.
“I think I need more alcohol.”
*
Over the next few weeks, Jeongguk and Namjoon are either visiting each other whenever possible, mostly at Jeongguk’s work, managing dates when they can.
Either than, or they’re constantly texting each other, Jeongguk’s phone always buzzing. It’s earned him more than a few dirty looks from his professor in class, but luckily the quality of Jeongguk’s work stops his professor from hating him too much.
Jeongguk’s pleased to find out they both share the same ridiculous sense of humor, sending each other memes and ugly selcas to each other, Jeongguk giggling out loud at all of them.
Jeongguk’s starting to see another side of Namjoon too, as he sends Jeongguk photos of himself clad in Ryan bear pyjamas complete with a plushie collection, or petting a dog he met followed by the caption “!!!”.
Right now, Jeongguk’s lying on his bed, typing out something on his computer. He sighs, raking a hand through his hair, bored out of his mind. He’s cut off from his thoughts by his phone alerting him of a message, and he grabs it, smiling when he sees it’s Namjoon.
‘hey (: havent spoke 2 u today, whats up?’
Jeongguk can’t help the grin on his face at the thought of Namjoon being concerned after not speaking to him all day, and he quickly texts back.
‘hi ^^ im just studying right now, im soo bored’
He attaches a quick photo of him surrounded by his notes and pouting, sending it to Namjoon.
‘aww cute ;) im bored too tbh, yoongi left me at the studio to go see ur friend and im all alone XD why don’t u come over?’
Jeongguk pauses for a second, fingers hovering over the keyboard on his phone as he scans the message. The fact that Namjoon mentions he’s alone seems like it’s implying something, and Jeongguk’s heart skips at the thought. He and Namjoon have done nothing more than make out that night at the party and kiss each other a few times, although he knows both of them want to go further.
Jeongguk clears his head, thinking that he’s probably reading way too much into the simple text, and replies back, saying ‘sure’.
*
Namjoon buzzes him up, and Jeongguk takes the stairs to the second floor, where it leads to Namjoon’s own, private studio. He and Yoongi usually share the same one, as they write and produce together as a team most of the time, and this was another reason why Jeongguk was surprised Namjoon invited him over – his own studio being a very personal place, as Namjoon’s explained to him before.
Jeongguk hesitantly opens the door, hoping he’s got the right room. He knows he has when he sees Namjoon sitting on a leather sofa, laptop on the coffee table in front of him as he taps away at the keys. Namjoon’s head shoots up as Jeongguk enters the room.
“Hey,” he smiles warmly, and Jeongguk smiles back. He likes this look on Namjoon – messy blonde hair and an oversized hoodie and sweatpants, looking different from the usual, fashionable Namjoon, but Jeongguk thinks he prefers this version.
Jeongguk sits next to him on the couch, and Jeongguk takes the opportunity to look around the studio – it’s all black, of course, prints of musicians litter the walls, and the tiles of the floor are intentionally scratched to give it an urban look.
White light comes from the lamps and Christmas lights that are situated and strung around the room, and there’s a sleek desk with a computer setup that looks ridiculously expensive. The whole room looks expensive, in fact, and Jeongguk can tell this studio is Namjoon’s pride and joy.
Namjoon minimizes the programme on his laptop and sets it down on the table.
“Sorry, being rude,” Namjoon chuckles, and Jeongguk shakes his head.
“It’s fine,” he replies. “What’re you working on?”
Namjoon shrugs, looking sheepish.
“It’s just a song I wrote, I’m just playing around with the beat to finalise it.”
Jeongguk wants to ask to hear it, but he understands how personal people are over their art, so he doesn’t, instead smiles genuinely and nods.
“That’s awesome,” he says earnestly. “I wish I could write lyrics.”
“You don’t, it’s so stressful, seriously,” Namjoon laughs. “Anyway, I’ve been working on this for hours. Wanna order something? I was craving pizza.”
Jeongguk’s stomach grumbles at the mere suggestion, and both of them laugh at the noise. Jeongguk’s mostly out of embarrassment though, he hadn’t even realised how hungry he was.
“Sounds good.”
While they wait for the pizza, Namjoon does show him some of the songs he has saved on his laptop. He seems nervous while he does so, like he wants Jeongguk to like them, face blushing under the glow of the laptop as he talks about the meaning behind each song.
Jeongguk can’t help but be endeared, and he smiles the whole time listening to them. When Namjoon starts rambling again Jeongguk leans over, kissing him on his hot cheek to shut him up, and it works, the other boy fumbling and ducking his head.
The food arrives quickly, something which both boys are thankful for. They settle on the couch, Jeongguk with his legs crossed, as Namjoon pulls up Netlfix on his laptop, and they dig in. Jeongguk eats like he hasn’t in days as he digs into a slice, hot cheese burning his tongue but he doesn’t care.
Jeongguk doesn’t even know what movie’s on, some American comedy that Namjoon seems to find funny, probably because he speaks English and doesn’t need to follow the probably dubiously translated subtitles. Jeongguk doesn’t really care though, and he can’t help laughing automatically when Namjoon does, amused by the older boy.
Jeongguk’s stomach is full and his body is sleepy, and he can’t help himself when he leans against Namjoon’s broad shoulder. Namjoon momentarily stiffens before he relaxes again, and Jeongguk flickers his eyes up to Namjoon, seeing a gentle smile on his lips.
Jeongguk continues to watch the movie, feeling Namjoon move every time he chuckles at the screen. He eventually feels a hand come up to his hair, stroking through the strands and against the back of his neck, chills making their way down Jeongguk’s spine. He can’t help the moan that falls from his lips, regretting it when Namjoon’s hand freezes.
Jeongguk shifts his head so he’s blinking up at Namjoon, the other’s eyes locked on his. Namjoon’s hand plays with his hair again, giving the tiniest tug at the base of his neck and Jeongguk’s mouth falls open as another soft moan spills from him. Namjoon swallows, the sound audible from how close Jeongguk is.
Jeongguk lifts himself up, and his eyes close on instinct as he presses his lips against Namjoon’s, soft and full. The kiss is brief as he pulls back, scanning Namjoon’s face as if to say “is this okay?”, and it clearly is as Namjoon uses the hand on Jeongguk’s head to pull him towards him, mouth against his once more.
The kiss is frantic, less gentle than their first, and Jeongguk is quick to switch their positions from their awkward angle, leaning back and pulling Namjoon by his hoodie so he’s on top of him, delicious weight against him.
Namjoon tastes like pizza grease and meat and it really should be disgusting but for some reason it’s not, because it’s Kim Namjoon and Jeongguk’s wanted to this again for weeks, feel the other boy’s body, long, lean and broad, his big hands against his face and his perfect mouth kissing Jeongguk’s breath away. Jeongguk will admit, he’s not kissed all that many people, but Namjoon is by far the best he’s had.
Jeongguk wraps his legs around Namjoon’s waist, allowing him to lie between his legs and also letting Jeongguk grind the beginning of his erection against him. Namjoon groans low in his throat, fingers tightening in the strands of Jeongguk’s hair.
The hand that isn’t in his hair sneaks down between their bodies, palming the growing hardness in Jeongguk’s jeans and Jeongguk arches up into the feeling, whimpering against Namjoon’s mouth. Namjoon’s hand begins to rub against the bulge, fingers tracing along the zipper.
Namjoon detaches his mouth from Jeongguk’s, kissing along his neck and against his ear, making him squirm. He slips his hand under Jeongguk’s jeans, teasing.
“Want me to?” he asks into Jeongguk’s ear, who shivers and nods in response.
Namjoon smirks, chuckling into his ear, low and deep in a way that gives Jeongguk chills, and he unbuttons Jeongguk’s jeans, pulling them down. He keeps Jeongguk’s boxers on, rubbing him through the thin material despite the way Jeongguk’s erection is clearly straining against it, aching.
“Namjoon,” Jeongguk whines, frustrated, hands fisting in the other boy’s sweater.
Namjoon laughs softly again, however stops his teasing as he reaches into Jeongguk’s boxers, fingers closing around his cock and Jeongguk cries out, grabbing onto him as he bucks his hips. Namjoon’s hand feels so big and warm, almost covering Jeongguk’s cock completely in a way that Jeongguk should feel embarrassed about but instead just finds it hot.
Namjoon’s thumb swipes over his head, and Jeongguk moans again, moving into the contact. Namjoon uses both hands to pull down Jeongguk’s boxers, Jeongguk sighing as the fabric is removed. His cock twitches and his heartrate starts to thud when he sees Namjoon shift on the sofa, moving down Jeongguk’s body so his face is near his cock.
Jeongguk barely has time to register what’s happening before his cock is suddenly engulfed in heat, Namjoon managing to swallow the majority of his cock in one, Jeongguk wailing and thighs clamping around Namjoon.
He can feel the vibrations of Namjoon chuckling around his cock, and his fists clench on the leather sofa, fingernails tearing the fabric slightly but he doesn’t care because Namjoon’s tongue is circling the head of his cock, playing with the slit. Namjoon’s hands start needing his thighs, and Namjoon should know that Jeongguk is sensitive there as soon as he squeals, an embarrassing noise, and his legs twitch and quiver from the contact.
Jeongguk grabs Namjoon by the hair, fisting his hands in the messy, sandy blonde locks.
“F-fuck, gonna come, Namjoon,” Jeongguk whispers.
Namjoon pulls off, and Jeongguk whines, cock wet with spit and pre-cum, harder than he’s been in a long time.
“Namjoon, please,” he whines desperately.
Namjoon lets out a breathless chuckle, obviously proud of the state he’s left Jeongguk in.
“Shh, baby,” he hushes, voice low and husky and Jeongguk lets out a little moan at being called baby. He loves cute pet names. “I want us to come together, okay?”
Namjoon leans back so he’s on his knees between Jeongguk’s legs, and Jeongguk watches, transfixed, as he pulls his hoodie over his head – still wearing a t-shirt underneath but his arms and shoulders are emphasised, and he looks so broad and masculine. Jeongguk watches him unbuckle his belt, big hands fumbling before he finally starts to pull his sweatpants down. Jeongguk can’t help the way his mouth drops open slightly when he sees Namjoon’s cock, either from shock or because he’s salivating at the thought of wrapping his lips around it.
He's big, definitely bigger than Jeongguk, and probably the largest cock Jeongguk’s seen in real life. Jeongguk’s face is still open-mouthed, eyes fixated on Namjoon’s dick, but they flicker back up to his face when he hears him exhale a laugh, expression smug.
“See something you like?”
The line is cheesy but Jeongguk blushes anyway, biting his lip and nodding. Namjoon smiles down at him and leans over his body again, one hand taking both of Jeongguk’s wrists and pinning them against the sofa. They both groan simultaneously when their hard cocks rub against each other, and Jeongguk moans even louder when Namjoon’s hand circles both of them, jerking them off together.
The size difference between both their lengths is obvious when pressed together like this, and the feeling is amazing, Jeongguk gasps and arches against Namjoon’s hold on his wrists. Jeongguk’s strong, but Namjoon’s stronger, and Jeongguk’s arousal flaires more at the fact that he’s not able to break Namjoon’s grip.
Namjoon squeezes their cocks together and starts jerking them off, and Jeongguk knows he’s close already as he’s easy to rile up. Namjoon must know too, because he leans down and presses wet, open mouthed kisses against Jeongguk’s neck, making Jeongguk squirm.
“Come for me, baby, come on, wanna see you.”
Jeongguk can barely hear the rest of Namjoon’s words because all of a sudden, he’s coming, fingers clenching and unclenching, wishing he could grab onto something, mewling and making noises that he didn’t even know he could. He sighs and whimpers as his come spurts out, covering both his and Namjoon’s cock as well as Namjoon’s hand.
Namjoon lets go of Jeongguk’s cock as it’s oversensitive, and Jeongguk watches in a post-orgasmic haze, eyes hooded, as Namjoon jerks himself off kneeling between Jeongguk legs. Jeongguk reaches out a hand to help, wrapping it around the head of Namjoon’s cock and swiping over the tip, and suddenly Namjoon swears and releases, sticky white fluid coating Jeongguk’s hand.
Namjoon pants with his eyes closed for a second, and when he opens them Jeongguk brings his hand that’s covered in Namjoon’s come up to his own mouth, licking it off and smirking at the lust on Namjoon’s face. Jeongguk licks it clean and swallows, even sticks out his tongue to prove it.
“Christ, Jeongguk,” Namjoon mutters, looking wrecked. “You’re killing me.”
Jeongguk grins, pleased, and giggles in response.
**
When Namjoon wakes up the next morning, he’s almost certain last night was a dream. If it wasn’t for the ache in his scalp from Jeongguk pulling his hair or his swollen lips from the boy’s sharp teeth, he wouldn’t be able to believe it.
Jeongguk really is as sensitive in real life as he is online, makes the same cute little noises too, however he’s not as cocky as he sometimes seems on his livestreams, but Namjoon doesn’t mind that. He likes him whiney and submissive or bratty and teasing, it doesn’t matter, just as long as he gets Jeongguk.
Even thinking about last night makes his cock twitch in his pyjama pants, but he’s not jacking off again. He jerked off last night when he came home too, not being able to contain himself when he got a text from Jeongguk saying “I had fun tonight” followed by a winking emoji and photo of the bruises Namjoon left on his soft inner thighs. It’s ridiculous how much Jeongguk arouses him.
He goes to the studio, cleaning up his room that’s still littered with pizza boxes and bottles of Pepsi from last night, and thanks God there isn’t any come on the sofa. He takes everything and goes to dump it in the garbage, and as he goes to find the garbage can he bumps into Yoongi arriving, who looks him up and down, taking in the pizza and drink bottles.
“Healthy breakfast,” Yoongi mumbles and Namjoon laughs.
“Nah, this was from last night.”
He dumps it in the trash and he and Yoongi head to their studio, walking along the corridor.
“Ah, I see,” Yoongi nods as he opens the door, both of them walking into the room, Yoongi dumping his backpack. “Why, what’d you, have a party?”
“No, hyung,” Namjoon reassures, knowing Yoongi would probably kill him if he knew he was having a party around such expensive equipment.
Yoongi visibly loses the tension from his body at this, nodding. Yoongi moves over to his computer chair, switching on his computer.
“What were you doing then?”
Namjoon thought the conversation was over but apparently not, and he hesitates before answering, dropping himself onto his own seat and sighing.
“Uh, I invited Jeongguk over.”
Yoongi spins around to face him and raises his eyebrows, although no real surprise is there.
“Ah, so the question should’ve been ‘who were you doing?’” Yoongi drawls, smirking and Namjoon buries his face in his hands.
“Hyung,” he groans and he can hear Yoongi chuckle.
Namjoon rubs his face and he’s positive he must be beet red.
“Well, we did, y’know,” Namjoon shrugs and trails off. Yoongi laughs obnoxiously.
“Man, I’ve never seen you like this before. Blushing and getting flustered and shit,” he makes a ‘tssk’ noise and shakes his head. “That boy’s really done a number on you.”
Namjoon wants to protest, but there’s no point, so he just nods, admitting it.
“Yep,” he murmurs. “I’m fucked.”
*
Jeongguk couldn’t be happier when he finally gets a break from university after handing in his papers that were due, feeling like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. It feels odd to have his mornings free though, as he’s usually awake early either for school or work. He does think of asking to have his shifts changed but Taehyung tells him not be crazy and enjoy his time off for now.
The thing is though, he’s bored. Jeongguk thinks briefly about doing a cam show, as he hasn’t done one in a few weeks due to being busy and stressed and tired. He’s been thinking about his camboy career a lot lately, and whether he wants to keep doing it or not. Jeongguk weighs up the pros and cons in his head, struggling to find an answer.
On one hand, it’s good money, and he likes the attention and the feeling and the rush he gets from it, but he then he thinks about the fact that he and Namjoon have been dating for a while now, have started calling each other boyfriends. Namjoon even posted a photo of them together on his (personal) Instagram. Like, that means something, right?
Jeongguk still wants to do cam shows, but thinks about how he would explain it to Namjoon, and how the other boy would feel about it – would he be disgusted, judge him, call him a slut, think he’s cheating on him? Jeongguk doesn’t know.
Jeongguk sighs, not knowing what to do with himself. Taehyung’s with Yoongi (again), and yeah, Jeongguk’s happy for them, but he feels like he doesn’t have his best friend anymore. He decides to text Namjoon, dragging out the letters so the message sounds extra whiney, knowing that it’s one of Namjoon’s weaknesses.
Namjoon doesn’t respond right away so he assumes he’s busy, and Jeongguk opens his laptop and flicks through Netflix, settling on one of his favourite shows, and he pretends like his eyes aren’t constantly looking over to his phone to see if his boyfriend’s replied.
**
Namjoon somehow managed to let himself be dragged out with Yoongi and Taehyung for lunch, and has never felt more like a third wheel in his life. He eats his kimbap and tries not to cringe as he watches Taehyung feed Yoongi a piece of rice with his chopsticks, vaguely disturbed by this lovey-dovey, public displays of affection version of Yoongi.
“What?” Yoongi asks through a mouthful of rice and Namjoon just shakes his head, chuckling and going back to his food.
Namjoon’s phone vibrates loudly on the table, and when he picks it up he sees a text from Jeongguk:
‘baaaabyyy im bored :’( come over pleeeasse?? ♥’
Namjoon smiles fondly and laughs under his breath at the whiney tone that’s obvious even through text, as well as the little heart emoticon. Cute.
“What are you smiling at?” Yoongi enquires.
“Jeongguk just texted me, I gotta go,” Namjoon says, eating the last pieces of kimbap on his plate.
“Aw, you two are so cute,” Taehyung coos and Yoongi chuckles. “Seriously though, you are. You make him really happy, you know?”
Namjoon blushes and nearly chokes on his food as he swallows, both Taehyung and Yoongi getting amusement over how easily they can make Namjoon embarrassed.
“Yeah, well, we’re cuter than you two, that’s for sure,” Namjoon responds and laughs when Taehyung looks offended, whereas Yoongi just rolls his eyes.
Namjoon grabs his things and get up from his seat, putting some money on the table as he does so.
“Thanks for lunch, guys,” he says. “See you later.”
They all say goodbye and as Namjoon walks out of the restaurant, he hears Taehyung say the beginning of “Remember, always use protec–“ before he’s cut off by Yoongi laughing at him to stop. Namjoon’s thankful for Yoongi’s sensibleness sometimes.
**
Due to Jeongguk’s incessant complaining that he’s bored, and that he’s watched everything on Netflix and played all his video games a million times, Namjoon suggests they go out.
Winter has cleared up and the sun is out, gentle in its warmth. Spring has arrived and blossoms are beginning to bloom, bursts of pink and white, like a scene from a painting. Light beats down through the branches, and when Namjoon looks at Jeongguk the beams of light hit his skin and make him come to life, his complexion glowing and his dark eyes sparkling. Jeongguk catches him staring and smiles brightly.
Jeongguk insists they get ice-cream, ignoring Namjoon telling him that it’s not hot enough for that yet, and drags him into the parlour. Namjoon just picks classic vanilla, whereas Jeongguk frets over his order, contemplating as he looks over the flavours. He eventually settles on strawberry, of course with copious amounts of sprinkles and sauce on top too.
“Don’t judge me,” he giggles when Namjoon gives him a look.
The find a nice, quiet path to walk along, Jeongguk looking at the nature around him in awe as he eats his ice cream. Namjoon tries to ignore the way his tongue looks as he licks the treat, focusing instead on the scenery. He’s glad when Jeongguk finishes eating, and he doesn’t have to deal with the moans and noises he lets out when he eats that are far too distracting.
They walk along further, the sound of the stream rushing behind them and the chirps of birds filling their ears, serene and calming.
“Wait,” Jeongguk says, stopping and settling his bag on the ground.
Namjoon stops and watches him take out a camera, taking off the lens. Jeongguk grins and aims it at Namjoon, who covers his face and laughs.
“Jeongguk,” he whines, embarrassed, and Jeongguk laughs. “Take a picture of the nature, not me.”
Jeongguk shakes his head, grinning, still aiming the camera at Namjoon.
“You’re more beautiful than the nature,” he giggles and though Namjoon’s still embarrassed his heart swells. What did he do to deserve someone as sweet as Jeongguk?
He sighs and relents, letting Jeongguk take photos of him as they walk. Jeongguk looks at the photos after words and smiles softly, scrolling through them.
“Let’s take one together!”
Jeongguk flips the viewfinder so that they can see themselves, aiming the camera at their faces. Namjoon has to duck down a few inches to be level with Jeongguk, and when he does Jeongguk presses their faces together, Namjoon feeling his soft cheek against his.
Namjoon smiles at the camera and sees Jeongguk put up a ‘v’ sign as he clicks the camera. They take another one, this time making an ugly face, screwing their faces up and laughing once the camera shutters.
They look through the photos and Namjoon stares fondly at them – at Jeongguk’s cute bunny teeth when he smiles, the way his nose screws up and his eyes look like crescents. Namjoon has to admit that they look good together, and sickeningly happy in the way that new couples are. And, shit, they really are a couple now aren’t they?
“You look cute,” Jeongguk says, nudging Namjoon and pointing at the photo of him on screen.
“You too,” Namjoon responds and kisses him on the forehead, causing Jeongguk to blush and duck his head, but Namjoon can tell he’s pleased.
The path they’re on is, surprisingly, quiet and mostly void of people, so Namjoon takes the chance to hold Jeongguk’s hand, lacing their fingers together. Jeongguk looks up at him with his big doe-eyes, then looks back down at their hands, smiling as he swings them together, walking hand in hand.
They stay out for hours, exploring their city together and venturing into a small hole-in-the-wall café, until the sun falls and the sky turns a murky purple hued with pink outside the window.
Namjoon watches Jeongguk take sips of his frothy drink, milky moustache appearing on his upper lip and his cheeks flush rosy when Namjoon reaches over and wipes it off with his thumb.
Namjoon checks his phone and is surprised at the way the hours have flown by.
“I should probably head back home,” Namjoon says, a hesitating tone lilting his voice. He doesn’t really want to if he’s being honest, as he doesn’t think he could ever get tired of spending time with Jeongguk.
Jeongguk looks at the time too and frowns, mouth twisting.
“Yeah, it’s getting late,” he sighs. “Or, I mean, you could come over to mine?”
Jeongguk’s face betrays his casual tone, uncertainty etched into his features like he’s worried Namjoon will say no. Namjoon understands the implication behind what he’s asking, and his mouth runs dry and he swallows out of habit.
“Yeah,” he nods, and Jeongguk smiles shyly, dark eyes shining under the candlelight in the café, and they make their way out into the night, heading to their destination.
**
Jeongguk’s in his lap, weight solid and warm, Namjoon’s hands resting on those perfect thighs as he kisses him, Jeongguk’s lips soft and plush against his own.
Namjoon loves biting down on his fuller bottom lip with his teeth, causing the younger boy to let out these breathy little moans, hips jerking unconsciously.
Jeongguk starts to gently grind his hips, ass rocking against Namjoon’s growing hard-on, and Namjoon’s the one letting out soft moans now. Namjoon smooths his hands up from Jeongguk’s thighs to his ass, gripping it as he helps pull Jeongguk down against him.
Namjoon detaches his mouth from Jeongguk’s, trailing kisses against his sharp jawline, teeth coming out to nip occasionally. He goes down further, mouth against Jeongguk’s neck, and he kisses it before he begins to suck what he hopes will bloom into a bruise. Jeongguk writhes in his lap and whimpers, hands clenching in Namjoon’s hair in a way that should hurt but doesn’t.
Namjoon removes his mouth from Jeongguk’s neck and admires the red mark left behind, bringing up a hand to press a thumb against it, Jeongguk hissing at the sensation and Namjoon can feel his thighs tighten around his hips.
Namjoon thinks about the bruise that will be left, about Jeongguk maybe doing a show and reading all the comments from jealous viewers wondering who put it there, and Namjoon smugly knowing it was him. Or maybe Jeongguk will try to hide it with one of his pretty collars he sometimes wears.
There are so many parts of Jeongguk that Namjoon wants to mark, claim as his – his collarbones, the jut of his hip bones, the soft, satin skin of his inner thighs and ass, all of which Namjoon wants to bite or spank to leave the boy with a reminder.
Namjoon rakes his hands under Jeongguk’s t-shirt and up his back, feeling the muscles underneath his skin as Jeongguk rotates his hips on Namjoon’s lap. He drags his nails lightly, Jeongguk arching his back as he does so.
Namjoon pulls back and leans against the sofa, looking up at Jeongguk, at the way his lips are red and wet from Namjoon’s mouth, and the way his chest is rising and falling from his elevated breaths. Namjoon’s hands are planted on the arch of Jeongguk’s back, stroking up and down the smooth skin.
“Want to take this through to the bedroom?” Namjoon asks softly, and Jeongguk nods, giving him a lingering kiss before getting off Namjoon’s lap.
Namjoon gets up and can’t help himself from staring at Jeongguk’s ass while he walks, wrapping his hands around his hips and kissing into his neck. Jeongguk giggles and squirms in his arms as he opens the door to his bedroom.
Namjoon turns him around and kisses his addictive lips again, Jeongguk walking backwards until they fall onto his bed, limbs tangled. Jeongguk shifts to turn on his bedside lamp, the lighting orange and gentle, not too harsh. As Namjoon’s eyes adjust, it seems so surreal that he’s seen this room and this bed before through the screen of a laptop, and now he’s actually in it, not to mention with Jeongguk.
Jeongguk lays flat on the bed, dark hair fanned out against the pillows, looking soft and pliant and sweet. His cheeks are pink just like his lips, eyes dilated and darker than usual, and when Namjoon leans down to kiss him it’s more tender than before.
Namjoon presses his body against Jeongguk’s, and he can feel the other boy’s erection pressing against his stomach. Jeongguk moans in his throat as he spreads his legs to allow Namjoon more access between his body, at the same time Namjoon sneaks his tongue into Jeongguk’s mouth.
The room is filled with the wet sounds of kissing, intermingled with Jeongguk’s little noises he makes. Namjoon’s not as vocal as Jeongguk is, but it’s something he loves about Jeongguk, and Namjoon’s always gotten off to the sounds of sex and the noises his partners make.
With the way Jeongguk’s shifted his position, Namjoon can grind his hard cock against Jeongguk’s, so he does. Jeongguk clutches his shoulders and rolls his hips in time with Namjoon, seeking friction.
Jeongguk breaks the kiss, head leaning back against the pillows as he moans, mouth slack and wet with spit. Jeongguk’s hands move down Namjoon’s shoulders, down his chest, to his belt, and he presses his hand against Namjoon dick, looking up and biting his lip, hopeful expression on his face.
“Please?” he asks, voice breathless, and how could Namjoon say no to that?
Namjoon swallows and nods, leaning back and resting on his knees, unbuckling his belt. Jeongguk sits up too, resting with his elbows behind his back, and his eyes are glued to Namjoon’s crotch as he fumbles with his button and zipper.
“Wait,” Jeongguk says suddenly, and Namjoon stops in surprise.
Jeongguk grins in faux innocence, getting up and shifting on the bed so he’s on his knees.
“Lie down.”
Namjoon does, lying where Jeongguk was against the pillows. His jeans are half undone, his boxer-clad cock bulging obscenely through the gap. Namjoon plants his feet against the bed so his legs are spread, and Jeongguk crawls between them on all fours.
He nuzzles against Namjoon’s bulge, doe eyes blinking up at Namjoon as he does so, and Namjoon groans, raking a hand through Jeongguk’s soft hair.
It’s like a wet fucking dream come to life.
Jeongguk grabs the waistband of Namjoon’s boxers and pulls it down slowly, Namjoon lifting his hips to let the material free his cock. It’s kind of embarrassing how hard he is already, his cock leaking pre-come already and some of it smears against Jeongguk’s cheek.
Jeongguk wraps a hand around the base of Namjoon’s dick, squeezing and Namjoon groans at the feeling. He leans back, fingers still raking through Jeongguk’s dark strands, and watches as Jeongguk guides his cock closer to his mouth.
He sticks out his pink tongue, licking up the length that isn’t encased by his hand and circling the tip, playing with the slit. Half of Namjoon wants to pull his hair and tell him not to be such a little tease, but the other half is merciless at the sight of Jeongguk looking up at him with big eyes and a smirk, who must know what kind of effect he has on Namjoon.
Jeongguk wraps his lips around the tip of Namjoon’s cock, and his mouth is so hot and warm and wet inside that Namjoon’s can’t help the curse that spills from his mouth at the feeling. Jeongguk looks so pretty like this, cheeks hollowed and lips full as he sucks the tip of Namjoon’s cock, jerking him off at the same time.
He goes deeper, stuffing all that he can fit in his mouth as he starts to bob his head, hand stroking what he can’t reach. Namjoon’s head falls back against the pillows when Jeongguk starts to get faster, hand clenching in Jeongguk’s hair.
“Fuck, baby, you’re so good,” Namjoon pants, bringing his gaze back to Jeongguk.
Jeongguk, whose eyes are closed shut in concentration, moans in response, and Namjoon can feel the vibrations go through Jeongguk’s mouth straight to his cock. Jeongguk pulls back suddenly, cock leaving his mouth with a popping sound. Namjoon’s length is covered in spit, and a thin trail of saliva still attaches Jeongguk’s bottom lip to his cock. Jeongguk’s hand is still on him, using the wetness from the spit as lube as he jacks Namjoon off.
He kisses up the side of Namjoon’s length, rubbing the tip against his lips and making them glossy with pre-come. Namjoon just watches in a daze, entranced by Jeongguk.
“You’re really big,” he whispers against Namjoon’s cock, staring at it in awe as he strokes up and down the length, squeezing the base tightly.
Namjoon’s cock throbs at Jeongguk’s words, jerking in his grip as a pearl of come leaks from his tip, and quickly licks it up. Namjoon’s always known he was bigger than average, but when people say it to him like that, fuck, it gets him off. Especially with Jeongguk.
“Yeah?” Namjoon asks, and his voice is hoarse like he’s the one who’s been sucking someone off.
Jeongguk nods and lets out a soft “yeah”, nuzzling his face against his cock with deceptively innocent looking eyes.
“Is it the biggest you’ve seen? Biggest you’ve ever had?”
Namjoon can see Jeongguk fluster at this question, his already flushed cheeks getting darker and his pupils expanding. He wraps his lips around the tip again giving it a suck that has Namjoon groaning in pleasure, before he pops it out his mouth again. He looked shy before but now he looks confident again, looking up with a smug expression.
“Nah, I have a dildo that’s bigger,” Jeongguk shrugs and says teasingly, giggling.
Before Namjoon realises what he’s doing, he tightens his fingers in Jeongguk’s hair and pulls his face up to look directly at him.
Jeongguk gasps at the feeling, mouth dropping open and judging by the barely concealed excitement in the boy’s face and the way he’s breathing heavier, Namjoon thinks Jeongguk’s doesn’t mind the rough treatment.
“You’re a little tease, aren’t you?” Namjoon asks, giving Jeongguk’s hair a sharp pull that makes him gasp brokenly in pleasure, mouth dropped into an ‘o’.
“Trying to make me jealous by talking about your dildos, huh?” Namjoon punctuates his question with another pull of Jeongguk’s hair, this time making Jeongguk moan louder, eyes watering. “Or trying to turn me on by getting me to think about you fucking yourself?”
“Maybe,” Jeongguk whispers.
“If you think dildos are better than the real thing, you’ve obviously never been fucked right, baby,” Namjoon says and Jeongguk’s confident persona fades, expression shifting into something needier and more submissive.
“Will you fuck me?” Jeongguk asks softly.
Namjoon can’t believe that after watching countless streams of Jeongguk, wanting desperately to fuck him, he’s here in front of him begging for it. Namjoon relents his grip on Jeongguk’s hair to cup the side of his face, thumb swiping over the boy’s pretty bottom lip, and Jeongguk sucks Namjoon’s thumb into his mouth, cheeks hollowing. Fuck, he’s beautiful.
“Please?” Jeongguk whispers around Namjoon’s thumb and Namjoon swallows.
“You sure?”
Jeongguk nods slowly, and he looks ready and confident with the way he’s gazing intently at Namjoon. Namjoon takes his thumb out of Jeongguk’s mouth and leans to kiss him tenderly, before pulling away.
“Okay, baby. Lie down.”
Jeongguk smiles and bites his lip. Namjoon shifts so Jeongguk can lie down, Namjoon stretching his arm over to reach the top bedside drawer, pulling out lube and a condom.
“Good guess,” Jeongguk giggles. “How’d you know they were in there?”
Namjoon haltd momentarily because, shit, he knows because he’s seen Jeongguk reach into the very same drawer before on camera. Namjoon shrugs and drops the items on the bed, crawling over Jeongguk.
“Like you said, good guess,” Namjoon chuckles and wishes he could be a smoother liar.
But his anxieties vanish as he settles himself over Jeongguk, pressing their bodies together, Jeongguk smiling in a way that shows off his bunny teeth and makes his eyes go soft. Namjoon can’t stop himself from kissing his perfect lips, intoxicated by the taste of him.
Namjoon realises they’re both wearing too many clothes, and sits up to pull off his shirt and shuck off his jeans and socks, urging Jeongguk to do the same.
“Clothes off,” he murmurs against Jeongguk’s lips, slipping his hands under the other boy’s t-shirt.
Jeongguk raises his arms to help Namjoon take off the material, before Namjoon reaches for the buckle and zipper of his jeans. He rubs a hand over the bulge there and Jeongguk moans, hips jerking.
Namjoon undoes his jeans, pulling them down along with Jeongguk’s underwear, leaving him completely naked. Namjoon rakes his eyes hungrily over his body – he’s seen him naked before, but it’s still a beautiful sight each time. Jeongguk’s golden skin looks like it’s glowing under the lighting from the lamp, his body the perfect combination of lean and soft, and his hard cock is wet with pre-cum.
Namjoon leans over him and kisses his lips, Jeongguk responding back eagerly. He groans in protest when Namjoon’s mouth leaves his, but it turns into a sigh of pleasure when he starts to trail kisses down his neck and chest, gradually going lower.
“You’re so beautiful,” Namjoon confesses.
He grins against the skin of Jeongguk’s stomach when he sees Jeongguk’s face redden and watches him turn his face into the pillow, embarrassed smile gracing his lips.
He reaches Jeongguk’s cock and swipes his tongue over the length of it, swirling it at the tip. Jeongguk, honest to God, squeals at that, his thighs clamping together on either side of Namjoon. Cute.
Namjoon moves away from Jeongguk’s cock as he wants to draw this out as much as possible, and Namjoon grabs the lube from where it’s placed on the bed. He clicks open the tube and coats his fingers with it, circling one around Jeongguk’s hole. Jeongguk moans and jerks at the contact, and Namjoon uses one hand to push Jeongguk’s leg back to give him more access, kissing his thighs as he does so.
“This okay?” he asks and Jeongguk nods, smoothing his hands through Namjoon’s hair.
Namjoon slowly and gently pushes a finger in, letting Jeongguk get used to feel of it so as not to hurt him. It might not be Jeongguk’s first time doing this, but he still wants to be careful. Jeongguk makes a muffled noise in his throat and sucks his bottom lip into his mouth.
Namjoon’s eyes snap up to him, watching his face to see if he can spot any discomfort. Jeongguk’s eyes are closed but he soon opens them to look down at Namjoon where he’s between Jeongguk’s spread legs.
“’m fine,” Jeongguk giggles softly. “I have done this before, y’know.”
Namjoon blushes. Yes, he’s well aware of that, as his mind flashes to images of Jeongguk fucking himself on camera.
“I know, I just don’t want to hurt you.”
Jeongguk laughs softly again.
“You’re cute,” Jeongguk says, wiggling his hips to get Namjoon’s finger deeper. “More.”
Namjoon obliges, adding more lube and inserting two fingers now, gently thrusting them in and out. Jeongguk groans and begins to move his hips in time with Namjoon’s fingers, letting out sharp breaths when they graze his prostate.
Namjoon’s own cock is getting harder as his eyes variate between watching Jeongguk’s face lax in pleasure and the way his fingers move in and out of Jeongguk’s hole. He starts to stroke his own cock slowly in anticipation, thinking about what it’s going to feel like to finally sink himself into Jeongguk.
He's three fingers deep now, and Jeongguk’s chest is rising and falling with his panting breaths, which are intermingled with whimpers and moans. Jeongguk reaches down to grab his neglected cock, wrapping a fist around himself and groaning.
Namjoon jabs his prostate a few times, enjoying the way Jeongguk squirms on the sheets at the action, thighs twitching and cock jerking in his grip as he lets out strangled moans.
“N-Namjoon,” he pants. “C’mon, want you to fuck me.”
Namjoon’s own cock jerks at that and he tightens his hand around himself. He curls his fingers against Jeongguk’s prostate one more time and Jeongguk lets out a small whimper, before removing his fingers.
Namjoon opens the condom packet and he has to focus as he rolls the rubber onto his length as his vision is clouded by arousal. He goes to move between Jeongguk’s legs again but Jeongguk stops him with a hand against Namjoon’s stomach.
“What’s wrong?” Namjoon asks concerned and Jeongguk shakes his head.
“Nothing,” he says, getting up and crawling in front of Namjoon. He pushes the older boy so he falls against the pillows, puzzled expression still on his face.
“Just want to ride you, that’s all.”
Jeongguk smirks but it breaks into a giggle as he straddles Namjoon, thick thighs situated on either side of Namjoon’s hips. Namjoon’s hands immediately go to Jeongguk’s legs, smoothing up and down them as he gazes up at Jeongguk, admiringly. His face is flushed with a glint of sweat across his skin, dark hair ruffled, white teeth biting his bottom lip.
A sudden moan is ripped from Namjoon’s throat as Jeongguk grinds back against his dick, Namjoon’s length rubbing in between his cheeks. Jeongguk grins at Namjoon’s reaction and Namjoon smiles back.
“You just love being a little tease, don’t you?” Namjoon murmurs and Jeongguk nods in response.
“Yep,” he breathes, and Namjoon chuckles, leaning back and relaxing as he watches Jeongguk on top of him.
“Well, c’mon then, get on with it,” he murmurs. “Thought you wanted to get fucked?”
Jeongguk laughs and reaches around to grab Namjoon’s cock, positioning it at his hole. Namjoon groans as Jeongguk grinds back, rubbing the head around his entrance. Jeongguk places one hand on Namjoon’s broad chest, and finally, fucking finally, sinks down onto Namjoon’s cock, Jeongguk’s face twisted into an expression of pleasure.
They both moan in unison, Jeongguk’s a choked whimper and Namjoon’s a deep groan as he tips his head back against the pillows, hips instinctively bucking up slightly. Jeongguk’s only got the head in so far, and gently wiggles his hips as he eases the rest of Namjoon’s length inside him.
“So big,” Jeongguk whines and Namjoon tries not to let that fuel his ego.
He strokes up and down Jeongguk’s thighs reassuringly, rubbing circles into his skin.
“Shh, you’re doing so good, sweetheart,” Namjoon reassures.
Jeongguk leans down to kiss Namjoon as he circles his hips downward. After a little while of kissing, he finally has all of Namjoon in, and Namjoon moans at the sensation, Jeongguk hot and tight around his cock.
“Fuck,” Namjoon chokes out. “God, you feel so good.”
“You too,” Jeongguk whispers, moving slowly to get used to the feeling.
Namjoon has to restrain himself from grabbing hold of Jeongguk and thrusting up into that hot, amazing heat of his body, the urge to do so strong. But instead he just enjoys the moment, watching the way Jeongguk’s pretty face alters from being screwed up to being lax and open mouthed as he sets a rhythm.
Namjoon sighs and groans in relief as Jeongguk starts moving on his cock, using his hands on Namjoon’s chest to brace himself. He rises upwards so that half of Namjoon is still in him, before he brings himself back down, crying out as he feels Namjoon’s cock against his prostate for the first time.
Jeongguk keeps up this rhythm, but is thrown off kilter when Namjoon can’t take it anymore and lifts his hips up too, thrusting into Jeongguk. Namjoon’s hands are tight on Jeongguk’s waist, jerking his hips up as he pulls Jeongguk against him.
Jeongguk’s noises get louder and louder, and he starts to jerk himself off in time with Namjoon’s cock inside him, letting out small whimpers and “ah, ah, ah,” noises that drive Namjoon crazy. Namjoon gets faster, determined to make Jeongguk come on his cock and push all those sweet noises out of him.
“Ah, Namjoon!” Jeongguk sobs. “Don’t stop, p-please!”
Namjoon knows that when Jeongguk starts getting vocal and begging, that’s when he’s about to come. Namjoon wraps his arms around Jeongguk and uses his strength to flip him over so Jeongguk’s flat against the bed with Namjoon on top of him.
Jeongguk whimpers when Namjoon’s cock slips out of him, spreading his legs and making grabby hands for it. Namjoon chuckles breathlessly at this, holding onto his cock as he pushes it back inside Jeongguk, the younger boy mewling and scratching his nails down Namjoon’s back.
Namjoon leans over so he’s covering Jeongguk completely with his body, lips against Jeongguk’s ear.
“You’re so desperate, aren’t you, baby?” Namjoon asks, voice gone deep and husky. “Desperate for my cock?”
Jeongguk moans in response and nods his head, sweat dampened hair falling around him like a halo. Namjoon’s hands push Jeongguk’s thighs against his chest as he pounds into Jeongguk, the room filled with the sound of Jeongguk and Namjoon’s moans, as well as the slap of skin against skin.
Namjoon can feel Jeongguk’s hole clench around his cock, and he’s starting to get close. But he wants Jeongguk to come before him, wants to watch him fall apart. He shifts Jeongguk slightly and speeds up his thrusts, and when Jeongguk lets out a high-pitched whimper that sounds close to a shout, Namjoon smirks in triumph, angling his cock to hit that same spot.
“Oh my God,” Jeongguk groans, arching against Namjoon, hands scraping against his back. “There, fuck-“
His words are cut off and fade into nonsensical sounds as Namjoon continues to fuck into Jeongguk, his own breathing becoming laboured as he lets out curses and moans.
Namjoon can feel Jeongguk wrestle a hand between himself, wrapping it around his weeping cock that’s been leaking come against his and Namjoon’s stomachs.
“You close?” Namjoon asks and Jeongguk nods.
Namjoon keeps up his pace, and soon he feels the way Jeongguk’s fluttering and clenching around his cock, so tight that Namjoon can barely move. Seconds later, Jeongguk comes with his loudest moan yet, Namjoon’s name on his tongue, hands frantic as they grab hold of Namjoon, the bedsheets, whatever he can reach, as his come spills between their bodies.
Jeongguk sighs and goes boneless beneath him, eyes closed and expression satiated, pants falling from his lips. Namjoon’s panting too, cock throbbing where it’s still inside Jeongguk. He thrusts gently a few times, but Jeongguk’s face screws up in a whimper, so Namjoon pulls out. Both Jeongguk and Namjoon groan at the feeling, Namjoon because he misses the tight heat of Jeongguk’s body.
Namjoon takes off the condom and lets Jeongguk’s legs fall, so they’re still spread but not up against his chest. Namjoon jerks himself off, coming simply just from the sight of Jeongguk, his pretty face and gorgeous body. His come lands over Jeongguk’s flat stomach, mingling with Jeongguk’s own release, and Namjoon exhales a groan, eyes closed.
Namjoon feels boneless too, and drapes himself over Jeongguk, sighing. Jeongguk’s hands cup his face and his lips find his, mouths moving against each other. They break apart, both boys smiling softly.
“You really are beautiful,” Namjoon can’t help but mumble, feeling ridiculously cheesy but that’s what Jeongguk does to him.
“You too,” Jeongguk smiles, thumbs swiping over the dimples in Namjoon’s cheeks and through his hair. “Now, c’mon, help me up so we can shower and get this come off us.”
**
Namjoon wakes to Jeongguk cuddled against his chest, dark hair a messy halo around his head and sleeping soundly. Namjoon smiles tenderly, looking at him through sleep hazed eyes as he runs a hand through the boy’s soft hair.
This close he notices things about Jeongguk he hasn’t before; like the small scar on his cheek, his pretty eyelashes, the blemishes on his skin from acne. However, all of these imperfections make him love Jeongguk more, and Namjoon freezes because – love. He just admitted to himself that he loves Jeongguk, and despite the way his heart and mind race at the prospect, he’s finds that he’s okay with that.
His thoughts are broken by a soft murmur coming from Jeongguk.
“I can hear your heart beating in your chest,” Namjoon manages to make the words out from where Jeongguk is squashed against him, Jeongguk’s morning voice is low and lazy.
“It’s cause I’m looking at you,” Namjoon murmurs back, his own speech husky. “Now you know how I react whenever I’m around you.”
Jeongguk presseses his face further into Namjoon’s chest, nose pressed against Namjoon’s collarbone.
“Shut up, I look awful in the morning,” Jeongguk groans and Namjoon giggles, tracing his fingers up and down the smooth skin of Jeongguk’s spine.
Jeongguk shifts so his chin is resting on Namjoon’s sternum, staring up at Namjoon with big eyes. Namjoon grins and laughs when Jeongguk keeps looking at him, Jeongguk smiling fondly.
“What?”
“Dunno, ‘m just looking at you,” Jeongguk shrugs giggling. “Thinking about how lucky I am.”
Jeongguk says the last part quietly, averting his eyes down to wear his fingers are tracing randomly across Namjoon’s chest. Namjoon chuckles.
“Now who’s being cheesy?” Namjoon laughs.
“I’m especially lucky after last night,” Jeongguk says, looking back up and raising his eyebrows suggestively, and Namjoon chuckles.
“Okay, now you’re just being a perv.”
Jeongguk laughs, giggling, eyes crinkling up in the corners.
They both lie together in bed for a while, not wanting to get up. It’s raining outside, drops beating against the window, and the sound is calm and relaxing. Eventually though, Jeongguk announces that he needs coffee, and Namjoon agrees, both reluctantly dragging themselves from the warmth of Jeongguk’s duvet.
Jeongguk offers Namjoon a pair of pyjama bottoms covered in little Batman symbols to wear and Namjoon puts them on, the slightest bit too small and tight but wearable. Jeongguk throws on a pair of boxers and Namjoon’s shirt, and Namjoon smiles at this as they pad to the kitchen.
Jeongguk makes him coffee and for someone who works in a coffeeshop, Namjoon’s surprised it’s only the basic instant kind.
“I spend my days at work making coffee for other people, when I come home I don’t want to do the same thing,” Jeongguk laughs, spooning heaps of coffee grains and pouring boiled water into two mugs.
They sit in Jeongguk’s kitchen, sipping their coffee while Jeongguk’s munches on cereal – his place is significantly smaller than Namjoon’s, the kitchen leading onto the living room which is messy and unorganised in the quintessential student fashion. There’s DVD’s and video game discs and empty cups of ramen sitting on the table, and perched on a shelf there’s knickknacks and a couple of framed photos.
There’s a photo of who Namjoon assumes are Jeongguk’s mom and dad, holding a baby Jeongguk in their arms.
“That’s cute,” Namjoon says, indicating to the photo. “Are those your parents?
Jeongguk smiles tightly, nodding. Everything about his body language screams uncomfortable, and Namjoon feels awkward for bringing it up, vaguely recalling Jeongguk acting the same way on their first date.
“Yeah,” Jeongguk sighs, looking down into his coffee mug, swirling around the contents. “But – I mean, I haven’t really spoken to them in a while.”
Namjoon’s silent, nervous to reply in case he says the wrong thing, but Jeongguk talks on anyway, taking his time.
“I came out as gay and they kind of – freaked. I wasn’t expecting it either, which was probably the worst part. Like, they’d always been so supportive of me, y’know?” Jeonnguk looks up at Namjoon who nods in understanding, sitting down next to Jeongguk on the worn sofa.
“But they started pestering me about why I hadn’t had a girlfriend yet and I just blurted it out, saying that it was because I wasn’t interested in girls,” Jeongguk stops, takes a breath, then continues. “I’ll never forget the expression on their face once I said that – they just stopped, and stared at me, and they didn’t look angry, they just looked cold and disappointed. And they told me to get out.”
Namjoon’s heart aches, feeling like he’s been punched in the gut.
“I stayed at a friend’s house until I finished my studies, and I applied for Seoul because I didn’t want to stay in Busan anymore. I needed a fresh start. My parents haven’t spoken to me since,” Jeongguk admits, voice wavering. “I’ve tried to – they just ignore me. My brother’s supportive though, thankfully, and he’s been trying to convince them, but,” Jeongguk shrugs and sighs shakily.
Namjoon puts an arm around Jeongguk’s shoulders which Jeongguk leans into, resting his head on Namjoon’s shoulder. Namjoon kisses his hair and Jeongguk nuzzles against his collar bone, Namjoon feeling the wetness of tears against his skin.
“I’m happy now though. I’ve got you,” Jeongguk says, voice soft and small.
Namjoon’s chest swells and his stomach fills with a thousand beating butterflies at the confession, and Namjoon smiles into Jeongguk’s hair as he pulls him closer.
“Yeah,” Namjoon murmurs, fondly. “Me too.”
And as Namjoon looks at the beautiful boy in his arms, he can’t believe how lucky he is.
**
But Namjoon should have known, really, that everything was too good, too perfect to be true, because soon everything shattered, and memories became shards of glass that were painful to touch.
**
It was stupid, how it happened. So, so fucking stupid.
They were at Namjoon’s apartment, limbs tanged together on his bed, cuddling and watching some shitty movie.
They had been dating for months, had spent Valentine’s Day together, and Namjoon had even introduced Jeongguk to his parents, I mean, they had even contemplated moving in together. Generally, everything was great. Fantastic even, Namjoon the happiest he’d been in a long time.
Jeongguk hadn’t done a camshow in a while, but he hadn’t spoken about it either, and Namjoon wasn’t going to bring it up. He had thought that the issue was just going to be something that was swept under the rug, unspoken, the elephant in the room.
Apparently not.
The movie was over, and Jeongguk yawned, eyes sleepy, before they sprung open again, worried.
“Shit, I have a paper due for tomorrow,” Jeongguk groaned. “Fuck my life, I totally forgot about it.”
Namjoon was sympathetic, having been in that situation many times when he was at school.
“You can use my laptop if you want,” Namjoon had offered. “I’ll go make you some coffee for the all-nighter you’ll probably have to pull. But you’ve done it before, you’ll be fine.”
Jeongguk nodded reluctantly.
“Yeah,” he sighed, grabbing Namjoon’s laptop. “Thanks.”
Namjoon left the room to go through to the kitchen, making the coffee. While he waited for the kettle to boil he decided to prepare some snacks for Jeongguk too, when he saw Jeongguk walk into the kitchen, laptop in hand.
“Hey, baby,” Namjoon had smiled. “Do you need some help? Let me guess, it’s something to do with math or English.”
He laughed but it faded when he saw that Jeongguk didn’t look amused. In fact, he looked upset.
“Jeongguk? What’s wrong?”
Jeongguk slammed the laptop on the counter, far too harshly, so that the screen was facing Namjoon. Namjoon felt the colour drain from his face.
It was Jeongguk’s cam site page. Namjoon had it in his bookmarks and plastered all across his internet history. Namjoon’s throat had went dry and he tried to respond but nothing came out, mind full of nothing but panic.
“Namjoon?” Jeongguk asked, pressing for an answer. Namjoon pretended like he didn’t hear how betrayed he felt.
“It’s – I just – Jeongguk please –“ Namjoon stuttered, but Jeongguk shook his head.
“Just what? How did you find this?”
“I-I used to watch you,” Namjoon admitted and Jeongguk’s face fell, his expression confused, devastated – Namjoon can’t even explain it.
“Watched me? I – when? Before you met me?”
Namjoon hated how upset Jeongguk sounded. Namjoon’s heart was hammering so hard he could barely hear what Jeongguk was saying or piece his thoughts together because of the way his pulse flooded in his hears.
“Jeongguk-“
“I mean, according to the amount of times you’ve visited the site you watched me pretty often,” Jeongguk spit out his words. He sounded disgusted. Namjoon felt the shame crawling across his skin like insects.
He nodded.
“A-and so what you decided to stalk me? Because you were obsessed with me? Or did you meet me and recognise me and try talk to me just so you could fuck me, because I’m such a slut, right? Why are you even still with me? I thought it was because you liked me, but I guess not.” Jeongguk’s voice wavers and he lets out an ugly, self-deprecating laugh. “How stupid of me to think someone would actually love me.”
“No, Jeongguk-“ Namjoon shook his head and stepped towards Jeongguk, but Jeongguk took a step back from him, recoiling. The sight of Jeongguk flinching away from him made Namjoon feel sick. Namjoon stopped in his tracks.
“Please, Jeongguk,” he pleaded, desperation slipping into his voice. “I know you’re mad, but please, hear me out.”
Jeongguk shook his head, eyes wet and blinking furiously to stop the tears from falling, however, they did anyway. Namjoon ached to comfort Jeongguk, but he knew couldn’t.
“Namjoon, I – I can’t. I don’t want to be near you right now, I can’t be around you. How can I trust you?” Jeongguk asked, and Namjoon felt himself get choked up, as he tried to think of an answer but couldn’t.
“I don’t know,” Namjoon whispered and Jeongguk nodded tearfully.
“I’m going to go,” Jeongguk said quietly. “If you miss me, just jack off to my videos, okay?”
Namjoon felt like he’d been punched in the gut.
He didn’t bother trying to convince Jeongguk to stay, knowing his reasons would fall on deaf ears. Namjoon’s entire body felt numb as he watched Jeongguk walk away and slam the door closed behind him, the sound reverberating through the deathly silence of the apartment.
**
That happened more than a month ago. Namjoon hasn’t spoken to Jeongguk since that night.
*
Jeongguk misses Namjoon. He cried his throat hoarse the night they broke up, and in the morning through red rimmed eyes he scanned over the texts Namjoon had sent him that night. At the time, he was blinded by anger, and he had scoffed, written it all off as bullshit.
The weeks droned on, and as they did, Jeongguk would lie awake at night, not being able to sleep, re-living the conversation and wishing he had been more rational. He wants to talk to Namjoon again, to sort things out, but he’s always been bad at this, at feelings and emotions.
“Talk to him,” Taehyung tells him. “Yoongi says he’s been miserable.”
“I’ve deleted his number,” Jeongguk says.
That’s a lie. He scans over their old messages all the time.
“Go to the studio, go to his house,” Jeongguk shakes his head in response to Taehyung’s suggestions.
“Hyung,” he sighs. “I want to, but-“
“It’s hard,” Taehyung finishes for him. “I know it is, Jeongguk, but you were good together. Happy. I know you won’t tell me why you broke up, and that’s okay, but whatever it is, you can repair it.”
Jeongguk shrugs, and he gazes out the window. It’s silly, but sometimes he’ll look up when a customer comes in, hoping it’s Namjoon. It never is.
“Maybe.”
**
Namjoon’s woken up by an incessant banging on his front door. At first, he thought it was part of his dream, but as he groggily opened his eyes, he realised it wasn’t.
“Namjoon!” More banging. “Get your ass up!”
He recognises the voice as Yoongi. Namjoon groans, pulling himself out of bed, stumbling towards the door.
He yanks it open to see Yoongi’s fist raised mid knock, and he puts it down, walking past Namjoon and inviting himself inside.
“What?” Namjoon grumbles, closing the door.
Yoongi makes his way over to Namjoon’s living room curtains, pulling them open. The sun burns Namjoon’s tired eyes, and the light reveals the state Namjoon’s apartment has become, filled with dust and trash and God knows what else.
Yoongi looks at him and sighs.
“Namjoon,” he says, tired but also sympathetic.
“Yeah, I know, I’m a mess,” Namjoon replies, shoving clothes off his couch so he can sit down on it. “Go on, tell me how pathetic I am.”
“You’re not pathetic,” Yoongi says sternly. “You’re depressed. And you’re also my best friend, so I’m going to help you out of this. First, I’m going to help you tidy this place – clean environment, clean mind, got it? Next, you’re going to take a shower, shave whatever the fuck that is on your face,” Namjoon scratches his stubble self-consciously.
“And get dressed to go out. Where ever you want, I don’t care, but you need to go outside and stop locking yourself up. After that, you’re going to start writing music again and stop taking sick days off work. Okay?”
Namjoon nods, knowing everything Yoongi’s saying is true. Yoongi walks around Namjoon’s apartment, looking in his drawers, and eventually emerges with trash bags, dusters, and polish, throwing a trash bag at Namjoon.
“Let’s get started.”
**
After they cleaned Namjoon’s entire apartment, which took a lot longer than he expected, Namjoon did admittedly feel better. Yoongi tells them they’re going to a club, and Namjoon hasn’t gotten dressed to out for what feels like a long time now, the brand label clothing feeling foreign on his skin.
They head to the club and the music is loud and pulsing and there’s a cheap bar and pretty people, and a while ago Namjoon would have loved this, but now all he can think about is how much happier he is at home with a boy he loves in his arms.
Yoongi must notice the pensive look on Namjoon’s face, because suddenly a cup of something is shoved at him. He takes it.
“Don’t think,” Yoongi yells over the music, cheersing Namjoon’s cup with his. “Drink.”
And Namjoon does.
He eventually ends up seated in a booth, a young guy in his lap with a nice mouth and a nice ass. But then he speaks, and he has a Busan accent, and Namjoon thinks of Jeongguk. He gives the boy one more kiss before he makes up some bullshit excuse and shifts the boy out of his lap, stumbling over to find Yoongi talking to someone with bright orange hair and a brighter smile.
“Thought you had a boyfriend,” Namjoon interrupts and Yoongi pulls a face, rolling his eyes.
“Yeah, I do, dickhead,” Yoongi says and the boy next to him laughs. “I was talking to Hoseok about you, actually.”
“Oh,” Namjoon responds, embarrassed and Yoongi’s new friend, Hoseok, smiles at him. “Sorry.”
“Yoongi was just talking about your guys’ jobs, and how you write beats for other people.”
“Yeah, Hoseok’s a rapper, and he was looking for someone to help produce for him,” Yoongi explains to Namjoon. “I suggested you.”
“Oh, uh, yeah, of course,” Namjoon says, surprised. “I mean, I’m kinda too drunk to discuss music right now, but I can give you my details?”
Hoseok’s laugh and smile is contagious, and Namjoon can’t help but grin when he does.
“Sure,” Hoseok says and they exchange numbers.
Yoongi sips his drink smirking.
**
Namjoon meets up with Hoseok to bounce off ideas, and Namjoon hasn’t laughed so hard with someone in a while. Hoseok’s personality is like sunshine personified, and his taste in music makes Namjoon like him even more, Namjoon nodding in approval as they discuss A$AP Rocky and Kendrick Lamar and whether they prefer new Kanye or old Kanye.
Namjoon knows that Yoongi was trying to set them up. Hoseok’s nice and he’s funny, and yeah, he’s handsome, but none of that matters – he’s not Jeongguk.
Hoseok asks if he wants to go out again for drinks sometime, and Namjoon has to politely decline.
“I kinda just broke up with my boyfriend and I’m also kinda not over him,” he chuckles apologetically and Hoseok nods in understanding.
“Hey, it was worth a shot,” Hoseok smiles, laughing. “Yeah, Yoongi had mentioned that to me. But, I mean, we can go out as friends? I’ve got a show coming up, you can come if you want.”
Namjoon nods, grinning.
“Yeah, definitely,” he says. “I’d love to.”
*
Jeongguk thinks Taehyung’s up to something. Jeongguk’s at his place, studying, which is what Taehyung’s supposed to be doing too, but instead he’s on his phone, texting rapidly while sneaking covert glances at Jeongguk from beneath his glasses.
“What are you doing?” Jeongguk asks, putting his bed down.
“Nothing,” Taehyung says, trying and failing to not sound suspicious.
Jeongguk stares him down, and Taehyung cracks.
“Fine, I was talking to Yoongi about you, okay? Him and Namjoon are going to see some rapper tomorrow night –“
“And you want me to come?” Jeongguk guesses, and Taehyung nods.
Jeongguk goes back to taking notes.
“C’mon!” Taehyung whines and Jeongguk ignores him. “You know you want to see him again, you’re just too fucking stubborn, as usual.”
Jeongguk sighs and shoots Taehyung a look, annoyed, yet on the inside, he knows his friend is right.
Both boys are silent for a while, Jeongguk invested in his writing and Taehyung tapping away on his phone.
“Fine,” Jeongguk says suddenly and Taehyung perks up. “I’ll come.”
*
Jeongguk stands near the back, against the wall, beer in hand as his eyes are on the lookout for a familiar face. He hasn’t seen Namjoon yet, or even Yoongi, and in the meantime, he nods his head along to the rapper on stage. Hip hop isn’t necessarily Jeongguk’s forte, preferring RnB or pop, however he can appreciate a good artist when he sees one, and – Jhope, he thinks is his stage name? – definitely is.
Jeongguk stands around for another half an hour, contemplating leaving, and is about to walk out when he sees Namjoon go up on stage, and he stops in place.
He’s never seen Namjoon rap before, but Jeongguk’s entranced as he watches him. The rest of the crowd are enjoying it too, and Jeongguk must look like the odd one out, standing there silently, eyes following Namjoon.
And suddenly, Namjoon sees him too. His flow momentarily falters, though he picks it up again, acting as if it never happens. Namjoon doesn’t look at him for the rest of the set.
**
They’re backstage, Namjoon and Hoseok, Yoongi packing up his equipment as they’re about to leave.
“I’m having an after party at my place,” Hoseok says, wiping sweat from his brow with a towel. “You guys wanna come?”
Namjoon hesitates. Jeongguk’s here somewhere, and Namjoon wants to find him, talk to him.
“I can’t, sorry, have to be up early tomorrow,” Namjoon lies.
“I’ll come,” Yoongi pipes up. “Just give me a second to put everything away, alright?”
Hoseok nods and goes over to find a drink of water, while Yoongi gestures for Namjoon to talk to him.
“Have you seen Jeongguk yet?” Yoongi says casually, zipping up his case where he keeps his equipment.
“Oh, so you invited him?” Namjoon asks. “You’re such a fucking meddler.”
“Listen,” Yoongi sighs, frustrated. “You both need to sort this shit out. Taehyung and I are sick of listening to the two of you whine and mope around 24/7, go find him and solve whatever drama you two have with each other, cause it’s getting old.”
Namjoon leaves the backstage area and goes into the thinning crowd, looking around for Jeongguk, but he can’t find him. He checks the bar area, the toilets, however he’s nowhere to be found, and Namjoon loses hope, thinking he’s probably left.
He goes outside, needing some fresh air. Namjoon rests his head against the brick wall, closing his eyes, the night air cold and refreshing on his skin.
“Hey,” he hears a familiar voice say quietly.
Namjoon opens his eyes, and – there’s Jeongguk, standing in a jacket too big and a beanie and a nervous expression on his face.
“Hi,” Namjoon responds, mouth dry.
Jeongguk looks down, scuffing his shoe against the pavement like a nervous kid. The energy is awkward between them, and Namjoon wants to break it, knowing that Jeongguk would be grateful.
“What are you doing out here?”
“Waiting for a cab,” Jeongguk says, looking at the road, then back at Namjoon. “I’m going home.”
“Don’t,” Namjoon blurts out, and this conversation feels all too familiar – Jeongguk wanting to leave, Namjoon wanting him to stay.
Jeongguk’s teeth fidget with his bottom lip, looking like he’s thinking. Then he nods.
“Okay.”
**
They find some 24-hour diner, American style, like you see in the movies. Namjoon orders an Americano and Jeongguk orders hot chocolate, and they sit across from each other in a booth while they wait for their drinks to arrive.
Namjoon takes the opportunity to properly look at Jeongguk again. His hair’s different – dark blonde now, with streaks going through it. He looks good, but Namjoon didn’t know what he expected; Jeongguk always looks good. Namjoon’s dyed his own hair again too, purple this time, a spontaneous decision.
Their drinks arrive and their waitress gives them an odd look as she sits their orders down, noticing the tension between the two.
Jeongguk takes his tea spoon and swirls it in his mug.
“You never let me explain.”
Jeongguk exhales heavily, spoon clattering as he sits it down. He seems tired. Namjoon is too.
“I know,” Jeongguk says. “I’m sorry.”
“I understand, but just – please, listen to me, okay?”
Jeongguk nods.
“I – yeah, I did watch you. For a long time. And it was just because I wanted to fuck you, alright? I mean, no shit, of course I did. But I kept watching you, and I liked your personality too.”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes.
“Don’t do that,” Namjoon sighs. “It’s true. And then, somehow, by some random twist of fate – not because I was stalking you - I walked into your coffee shop and recognised you. Then, again, I met you at the party.”
“What?” Jeongguk scoffs. “You think we’re destined to be together or some shit?”
“I mean, I don’t know, but it’s weird, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, you are weird,” Jeongguk retorts, but Namjoon ignores the jibe.
“I didn’t just want to fuck you, you weren’t some kind of trophy to win. I mean, okay, the sex we had was great,”
Jeongguk snorts into his hot chocolate at this, and Namjoon tries to hide his smile.
“But it wasn’t just about that. Jeongguk, I’ve never,” Namjoon hesitates. “Loved anyone as much as I loved you. Well, love, actually, present tense. Because I still do, y’know.”
Jeongguk eyes flicker up to his and Namjoon holds his gaze as he continues to talk.
“I didn’t even watch your videos anymore after we started dating, because I felt too guilty, like I was betraying your trust or something. I haven’t even watched any since. I know you must have been hurt, but Jeongguk, believe me when I say I’d never want to hurt you on purpose. I swear.”
Jeongguk’s quiet after that, and Namjoon waits anxiously for a response.
Jeongguk slowly reaches a hand over, linking his fingers with Namjoon’s in lieu of words. Jeongguk’s hand is warm from where he’s been holding his mug, and Namjoon forgot how perfectly they fit together.
“I still love you too,” Jeongguk murmurs so quietly that Namjoon has to strain to hear, but when he does, his heart blossoms and he feels all the negative energy he’s held inside of his body since they broke up deflate. “But we’ll have to work to make things the same again.”
Namjoon nods, thumb stroking across the soft skin of Jeongguk’s hand.
“And we’ll communicate with each other this time. No more secrets.”
“Yeah, definitely.”
Namjoon laughs, and Jeongguk grins.
“What?”
“Man, we sure have Yoongi and Taehyung to thank for a lot, right? I mean, first they both drag us to that party and now they’ve brought us together again.”
Jeongguk giggles and Namjoon never knew he could miss a sound so much.
“Maybe it is fate, then,” Jeongguk says quietly.
“Yeah,” Namjoon smiles softly. “Maybe it is.”