Chapter Text
Wilford Warfstache: Characterization
- Full Name:
William J. BarnumWilford Motherloving Warfstache - Age: He looks to be around 32, but in reality is like 147 because of William’s age and both his and Wilford’s own birthdate,
(despite them being the same personshhhh). - Height: 6’1
- Birthday: November 9th, 2012, not that he really remembers. (I consider Wilford’s birthday to be different from William’s, and this date is his first official appearance on the channel.) He's been on the channel for 10 years.
- Pronouns: He/him
- Sexuality: The most dizzying pansexual whirlwind anyone will ever have the pleasure and/or displeasure of meeting.
- Favorite Color: I want you to take a guess. (It’s pink.)
- Favorite Food: A bit of a random choice, but sushi. Either that or strawberry pancakes.
- Favorite Dessert/Sweet Item: As one could imagine, Wilford is a lover of all things sweet, so asking him to name his favorite type is like telling him to pick a favorite child. If he was hypothetically held at gunpoint, (because he probably wouldn’t care all too much if he literally was, but let’s just go with the metaphor), he would have to say either cream puffs, macaroons, or swirl lollipops.
- Favorite Drink(s): Martinis, and believe it or not, he likes them even more if he actually gets the chance to drink them!
- Favorite Fruit: Donut peaches, because they are one of the sweetest varieties of peach, and are perfect snacking size :)
- Signature Scent: Sugar, smoke, bubblegum, gunpowder, and a little bit of peppermint—a set of very contradicting scents that blend together and create this oddly comforting, wildly manic smell that is just so incredibly Wilford.
- Favorite Song: Wil adores any and all disco era music from the 60s-70s, but his favorite song is probably either “You Should Be Dancing” by Bee Gees or “Funkytown” by Lipps Inc.
- Favorite Movie/TV Show: Wilford’s favorite movie is Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, the original. He also thinks that the boat scene is funny and charming, while literally everyone else in the manor finds it at least a bit disturbing.
- Favorite Musical: Definitely either Wonderland or Spamalot!
- Favorite Book: Wilford doesn’t exactly have the attention span to read books, as he normally grows bored of them by the first nine or so chapters. William, however, was quite fond of The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman by Laurence Sterne—found it hilarious. Back when they were younger, neither Mark nor Damien could ever quite understand what it was about the book that he loved so much, but they let him have his fun regardless.
- Aura: A swirling, pink and yellow psychedelic disaster that trails sequins and glitter literally everywhere and is borderline painful to look at for too long. Wilford doesn’t often allow his aura to manifest on its own, and will instead summon it for whenever he deems it necessary, or when he is under intense emotional strain. Wil can also reach into his aura and use it like a pocket dimension to store things in and transport stuff to himself, similar to the way Dark uses the void. He can also, as seen in his In Space With Markiplier cameo, summon pink wormholes to do much of the same. Additional abilities include teleportation, time bending, the ability to know about some events far before they occur and think seemingly nothing of it, and creating cotton candy out of thin air.
Wilford Warfstache: General Headcanons
- Wilford can actually speak fluent German and Japanese, and sometimes he’ll absentmindedly slip between these and English—mainly Japanese—while speaking. This does nothing but confuse the others as to how he even remembers how to speak them, but sometimes he and Google will converse in one of the two languages when they need to do something secretive like buying gifts for the egos, or making quiet little comments that only the other can understand, (as well as Bing/the extensions), because they find it amusing. (He and Henrik will also occasionally have little moments where they joke in between themselves and Dr. Iplier ever since the German doctor first found out that Wilford could speak in his mother tongue.)
- Wil does a lot of…questionable things at times, but one of the more decidedly mundane activities he enjoys is collecting buttons. He doesn't have a formal collection to sort and display or anything, he just likes to pick up pretty much any loose button that he finds to pop into the little glass jar he keeps in one of the drawers by his bedside in his room. Since he spends most of his time in Dark’s room rather than his own, that little button jar is one of the only things that keeps him coming back. He’ll pour his button collection out on his bed and count them for a bit, before getting bored in an absurdly quick amount of time, he’ll shake the jar because he likes the sound it makes, he’ll look at all the different shapes and colors of buttons in the jar…like that thing can actually keep him entertained for a surprising amount of time. Wilford doesn’t really bring up the topic of his collection that much–because he’ll sometimes forget about it for a while, before remembering of its existence and becoming very happy because of it–but every now and then he’ll find a little handful of antique buttons next to a heart-shaped lollipop on top of his dresser whenever he’s done a favor or something similar to please the Host.
- Along with Bim, he and Dark also view the Jims as though they are their sons, even if they are not biologically. The two have known the twins for a very long time, longer than Wilford can even remember, and regardless of their ages have always felt wildly protective of them–mayhaps because they were the first other egos to show up at the manor. Either way, the Jims share a similar sentiment about the husbands, and see them as parental figures.
- Wilford has worn and rocked a dress on multiple occasions. Not much else in terms of detail for this one other than he slays.
- He will bring someone home for Bim every now and then, much to the game show host’s delight, (while he does enjoy the hunt, it can oftentimes be exhausting). Because of this, Wilford is very aware of his son’s personal taste in prey, and will keep a look out accordingly for certain physical and personality traits. He is, understandably, quite hush-hush about this with anyone other than the egos, as he would loathe to tarnish Bim’s glowing public reputation.
- Wilford still gets random flashbacks to the events of Who Killed Markiplier, and all they do is distress him because he knows that these people were important to him, but he cannot remember who any of them are or what ended up happening to them. He will also occasionally slip into rare lucid episodes, during which he can remember almost everything, and is sent spiraling downwards into pain and confusion as his brain finally catches up to the tragic fates of his best friends, the blood eternally staining his hands, and every horrible thing that he’s ever done. He has called his husband ‘Damien’ in this state more often than not. These episodes are extremely dangerous for him, and it takes all Dark has to prevent them from even happening at all.
- Like Bim, Wilford is an incredible baker, and specializes in anything sweet and sugary. Baking is another one of Wil’s favorite pastimes, and he adores doing so with the others for holidays and other special occasions–his homemade strawberry shortcake is a fan favorite among the egos.
- Wilf absolutely uses old slang from the 20s-60s on occasion and sees nothing wrong with it at all. Bing in particular finds this hilarious, while Google prays that he doesn’t pick any of it up. Funnily enough, since it's common for Wil to do this, Dark has also accidentally let a few old slang words slip before–something that the others have definitely refused to let him live down.
- Wilford will have random spikes of mania that make him extremely unpredictable. Mania affects Wilford in a drastically different way than anyone else, because of his shattered mind, and loose grasp of death and guilt. The other egos have been instructed to lock themselves in their rooms if Wilford becomes delusional as a result of this, at least until Dark has attempted to calm him down. The journalist’s misunderstanding of the concept of death is particularly damning for the others if they come across him in this state. He is mostly highly excitable and pumped full of energy, but is quick to agitation–which is why it is best that the egos hide away until the episode has passed.
- Wil’s eyes are sensitive to very bright lights, for all his love of vivid and psychedelic colors. It isn’t terribly bad, he just gets headaches when his eyes take in too much intense lighting at once. Despite vaguely remembering this, he still wonders why his head starts pounding whenever he looks up at the sun.
- Unsurprisingly, this man is an excellent shot. God, he barely has to try. The only thing that messes him up is the fact that his hands start shaking whenever he’s excited or focusing intently on something, much to his displeasure.
- This man stims all over the place. Random little noises, hand flaps, fist shaking, twirling his hair, repeatedly swinging out the barrel of his revolver for no reason, fiddling with the collar of his shirt…honestly, he does it all. This bothers literally no one except for Google if it’s Wilford toying with his gun, because the click of the barrel drives the android insane (which is why the journalist will sometimes do it on purpose). Otherwise, Wilf just does his own thing.