Chapter Text
"Home"
That was Ziva's goal. She did not mean Israel, she did not mean the house she had grown up in. Liat suspected she did not even really mean America. No, home for Ziva had never been a place or a building. Home for Ziva meant people, family. She had not had a true home since her sister had died. Had lost the last shred of it when Ari died. Liat was sad that once better she would lose Ziva to the Americans. For that was what she meant when she said home, the people she worked with, about whom she told story after story to her friend. And if they had proven themselves enough to Ziva for her to call them home, even though it hurt Liat would support her.
"That is a very good goal" Rasha believed that there was more than simply to go home that Ziva meant. And while it was helpful for Rasha to know what Ziva meant by home to be able to support her and push her when needed that information could wait. She suspected that Ziva was not one to easily speak her mind, let alone anything about her feelings. Rasha was sure she would find out, just not yet. "I can work with that"
A ringtone was heard, Liat quickly left the room to pick up. Not thirty seconds later she was back again. "I am called in. I will see you later tonight" was what she told Ziva as a way of explaining before leaving.
Once Liat was gone Ziva, or more accurate Rasha went to work. Explaining every step she was taking every move she made.
Rolling Ziva's ankle, moving her legs up and down. Explaining it was all to prevent as much muscular dystrophy as they could. "It also helps with blood flow. Before you leave here you will be able to do this yourself. Is any of this uncomfortable?"
"No. I feel some pressure but not uncomfortable."
"Can you tell me where you feel the pressure?" She questioned Ziva.
"My stomach"
"That is excellent that means that your core muscles are engaged. Now let's move to your upper body. "
For a time Rasha worked on her arms. Having Ziva lift them to see the movement freedom she had right now. Occasionally stopping to make some noted. Then continuing the exercised. Having Ziva try and push as hard as she could with her arms to try and move Rasha's own. Working with soft balls to move from one hand to another. And more. They ended their session with Rasha moving to sit beside Ziva on the bed.
"Okay. I want to see how your body reacts to being upright again. I will put my arms around your shoulders and lean back. This will put you in a sitting position. It is very important to tell me if this hurts."
"Won't the frame be in the way?" Ziva asked. Having tried not to focus on it while Rasha was working on her legs.
"No, it gives you more movement freedom than you would think. The sitting up can put a lot of pressure on your spine however so we will start slowly"
She then continued with doing what she had told Ziva. It felt weird to be lifted like that. Almost as if she was a baby, not yet able to sit up by itself. She could feel that without Rasha's arms around her she would not be able to sit up by herself. Feeling wobbly. Just registering that when Rasha already put her down.
"How did that feel?"
"Strange. I cannot feel, it does not feel right" Ziva tried as a way of explaining what she felt.
"Normal I can assure you. Most of us are used to balancing with our lower body. Meaning your hips and legs. With not having feeling in your legs and no control of your hips and lower back your body is trying to make sense of it. You will find a new point of gravity but it might take some time. Ready to go again?"
Again and again Rasha sat Ziva up, until finally declaring they were done for the day. While Ziva wanted to keep going Rasha told her not to overdo it, while also commending Ziva's drive.
"I will see you tomorrow at twelve. Up or down?" She asked while holding the buttons that controlled Ziva's bed.
"Up please" Ziva liked being up, she could see the door, watch who entered. She felt more like her old self sitting up, even though it was more laying up instead of sitting.
"Alright but no more than half an hour. Your body is still adjusting"
Soon Miriam came in with another bowl of bone broth. With all her body's energy being spent during therapy Miriam helped her eat. When the bowl was empty Miriam noticed Ziva's eyes dropping. Softly she went to put the bowl back on the tray she had rolled in earlier. When she turned around she noticed Ziva had fallen asleep. She put the bed down, at a slight angle knowing that was what Ziva preferred, dimmed the lights and softly closed the door.
When Liat had come back later that day it was already dark outside. The meeting having taken longer than she would have liked. Entering the room did not even wake Ziva up, that meant that she had a busy day and probably worked with Rasha until she was physically tired out. Glad she was and continued to sleep. That meant that Liat did not have to tell her yet. Tell her something she wished she did not have to tell her.
Her meeting had been les a meeting more a getting of new orders. Officer Hadar had explained every detail of the undercover mission to her. The way he was wording it Liat knew this would not be a short mission taking only a couple of days or even weeks. With this extensive of a cover it meant at least a month or two being away. Not liking it, for it meant having to leave Ziva when she could use her friend the most, but also knowing she could not refuse. Nothing short of quitting could prevent her having to go on the mission. She hoped Ziva would stay asleep, she did not want to tell her friend she had to leave in four days. Thinking how she could best break the news to Ziva was how she fell asleep.
Sounds of agony of pain were what woke Liat the next day. There was Ziva almost writhing in pain, tears down her face fumbling for the button to call the nurses in to the room. Acting quick she picked it up and pressed it. After stroking Ziva's hair trying to calm her down. One look at Ziva was enough for any nurse to know she was in pain.
"Give her some medicine?! Can't you see she is in pain?" Liat said firmly to the nurse that had entered.
"I can't ma'm. She is already on the highest dose. I will get her doctor"
Ziva's outwardly sounds of pain quieted down, but the way she tried to keep moving and the crushing grip she seemed to have on Liat's hand showed she was still in a lot of pain.
Both doctor Raviv and Rasha entered. Tag teaming looking over Ziva. Asking her questions she whispered the answers to. When they were done they quickly spoke Liat not paying attention only to Ziva. As they addressed Ziva Liat did pay attention knowing Ziva might not follow everything right now.
"The pain you are feeling comes from your lower body Ziva" Liana Raviv explained.
"You told us she was paralyzed, does that not mean not having any feeling?"
"Yes, right now Ziva's brain is firing of signals all over that her nerves cant process. Since the nerves can't connect the signals to the right body parts and muscles the body interprets this as something being wrong and thus signals pain back to the brain."
"It is probably caused by the work we did yesterday Ziva. After weeks of no use finally moving your muscles again made your nerves aware that not everywhere was receiving the signals." Rasha added.
"You know what caused it, now can you help her?" Liat asked.
"Sorry Ziva but no. Your brain thinks your body hurts but nothing actually is wrong. There is no medicine to help with this type of nerve pain. Short of sedating you again, which I would rather not, there is nothing we can give you. But it is up to you. What do you want Ziva?"
"No sedation" Ziva gritted through her teeth "I can take it"
"Ziva please you are hurting" Liat tried.
"I can take it" Ziva said again. Closing any argument Liat wanted to make.
"If at any point that changes I put in the order that it is okay to give you the sedatives. It is up to you Ziva." Liana Raviv said before leaving the room.
"I am sorry Ziva. I think it best if I come back tomorrow. The nerve storm should have passed by then. Stay strong" And with that Rasha also left the room
Liat tried to take Ziva's mind of her pain by continuing the story where they left off. Knowing it was not enough with the slight whimpers Ziva gave now and then. She did not ask if Ziva changed her mind about the sedatives, for Ziva would not. Once she put her mind to something, like now with saying she could take it her mind would not be changed. Even if changing would make things easier.
"You are leaving for tonight?" Miriam asked as she saw Liat close Ziva's hospital room. Finally having fallen into the deep sleep her body needed. The nerves finally settling down. "I wanted to ask you. Could you bring something for Ziva when you get back?"
"What things?"
"Mostly clothes, maybe some books or other things to entertain and occupy her mind. I know you have been coming here instead of going to work."
And soon she would be gone completely not that Liat told Miriam that at that point. "What types of clothes? I don't know with the external fixator?"
"I've written it down for you."
"Thank you Miriam, I will get it" it was the least Liat could do before leaving. Ziva would be more comfortable in actual clothes instead of the hospital gown she was wearing. Probably not being aware yet that her complete bottom half was uncovered. A catheter bag not counting.
McGee had noticed that Tony seemed more absent that normally. He still did his job, if you counted hour he was there just as much as Gibbs. Tony still went out with the team for drinks after a case closed. And still he was not completely there, something was missing. On one of those nights that they went out for drinks was when it happened. Outside of the bar after saying goodbye to Palmer and Abby, Tony turned to him.
"It's not natural Tim"
"What is?" Where was Tony going? He had barely spoken a word while drinking.
"Ziva." Ah McGee thought, that made sense. "She would not just disappear like that."
"Maybe she is on a mission? Or maybe she wanted a clean break?" Bad answer, he thought to himself as Tony looked him in the eye. If a look could kill he'd be dead on the ground from the fire spouting out of Tony's eyes.
"She is not she would have told me. She promised me to stay in contact." Promised Tony to stay in contact? Now that was a new one. "Ziva would not break a promise. Not this promise. Not to me. Something is wrong"
Those words made McGee wonder exactly how close his team mates had been. The conviction Tony spoke with seemed to strong for partners. Also McGee knew Tony was right. Ziva might be an international spy and could lie as easily as breath. When Ziva made a promise she kept it. And if Ziva had promised to contact Tony and had not, McGee believed as Tony had. Something was going on.
"If we start to dig into Mossad we will need Abby's help. We'll start tomorrow" He told Tony. Who seemed to somewhat relax at not having to pressure McGee into helping him.
"Thank you." Tomorrow they would start to look. They would find her. There was no other option.
Luckily true to the words of doctor Raviv. By the time the sun was rising again Ziva's brain had gotten the message. Though the doctor did warn Ziva that nerve storms like this sometimes continued to pop up every now and then. It was after eating and her session with Rasha that she saw first a big bag then Liat entered the room.
"Are you moving in?" Ziva joked at her.
"Ha, ha, very funny. No this is for you. Miriam asked me to bring you stuff"
"And you decided to rob a store? We both know I do not have any 'stuff' in Israel anymore"
"Just be grateful you won't be half naked anymore Ziva" knowing Ziva could handle her teasing. Even though her cheeks turned the slightest bit of red. So she had noticed she wasn't wearing anything underneath her gown. "There are clothes in here that Miriam recommended, some books, some.."
"You are leaving, yes?"
Liat stopped in her tracks, frazzled at Ziva's bluntness she had not heard since she got into the hospital. Knowing she could not lie to her Liat admitted the truth. And even though she was not allowed to share any details of her mission she did so with Ziva.
"It is okay. Do not worry" Here was Ziva, having a life altering accident and still making sure that Liat did not feel guilty. "I will be getting a lot of therapy, you would get bored here" letting Liat know she was truly okay with it. Of course she would miss Liat, not wanting to know how she would have gotten through the past week and a half without Liat by her side. Still she understood, when you got orders you followed them, there was not really a choice to not follow them.
"I have been thinking"
"Never a good sign" teased Liat, Ziva threw her a dirty look for that moment it felt like old times. Them being in Ziva's bedroom throwing Ari out when he came to bug them and teaming up against him.
"I am sorry if me sharing my goal with Rasha hurt you."
Right away Liat knew what she meant. Home, was Ziva's goal. Home did not mean with Liat. Home meant away from her to the other side of the world.
"No need. I understand. Somehow I think I was expected it. You spoke about them so much the stories you told, I get it. They are probably wondering what you are doing now"
"Thank you. And yes, that is exactly it. I realized how long it has been since I left, it is strange that none of them have contacted me."
"Do they know?" Confused, Liat did not think the hospital had contacted anyone in America, and Ziva surely had not contacted any of them. Not having access to a laptop or cell phone.
"I doubt Eli let NCIS know. But I promised Tony that I would stay in contact. He will know something is up" At the mention of Tony's name Liat thought back to the nights which Ziva spent muttering Tony's name in her dreams. If she promised him she'd stay in contact the idea he meant a lot more to Ziva than she was willing to admit was not such a strange one. "They mostly likely do not know anything. And I would like to call them, speak to them. Before you go can you get me a cellphone, maybe a laptop before you leave?"
"Abs, we need your help"
"With what?" The goth already bouncy even though it was still morning. McGee and Tony having gone down to her lab in lieu of looking at the evidence and helping Abby as to not let Gibbs suspect anything. At that point both men thought it better if Gibbs did not know anything. He did not need to know his agents would be working overtime but not on the case. If Gibbs did not know they did not have to explain to Vance what they were using NCIS resources for. And if toothpick could be kept in the dark. That was the way Tony liked it best.
"Ziva" Was all Tony answered. Abby's bouncy mood changed to a serious one. She quickly pulled them both into her office close and locking the door. Then Tony continued, telling Abby the same thing he had told McGee yesterday.
"I agree. I have not heard a peep from her since she left! You see McGee!"
Wisely he did not react to that. Knowing that Abby had been itching to get any kind of information about Ziva for weeks now. In the next couple of minutes they made a plan.
Tony would go over all the news reports from Israel, try and even get police reports. To search for any indication something had happened. McGee would go over every possible digital foot print Ziva could have left. Starting from the day she left with her flight, onto tracing her location through her gps and phone records. And lastly Abby, who maybe had the toughest job of the trio. Trying to hack into Mossad's files and Ziva's service record. To see if she could find out if Ziva was part of any ongoing missions.
"We will meet once a week to discuss operation Ninja, or earlier if we find anything" Abby declared once the plan was in place.
Both McGee and Tony were on their way back upstairs when Tony flipped the switch of the elevator.
"You will need to get into my email."
"And why is that Tony?"
"Ziva has a secure email address Mossad probably does not know about. She told me she set it up three years ago to safely contact Ari. That was the address she was suppose to email me from. She only send out one message after that it went dark."
The elevator was switched on again and soon enough the door opened. Just before they stepped out Tony turned once more to McGee.
"McGee. Thank you"
"Anytime" and he meant it. He was just as worried for Ziva as Abby and Tony. Ziva was his friend and the team did not feel complete without her.