Chapter Text
It was a rough morning, but then Derek always knew that it was going to be, especially when Meredith ended up being on call the night before, and now he was left to do the dreaded day all on his own: Alex was finally going back to daycare, and it felt even harder than the first ever time they’d taken him to daycare. They’d been reminding Alex a lot over the past few days that he was going to be going to daycare, they’d put it on the calendar in the kitchen and the temporary whiteboard one in Alex’s bedroom showing him that weeks schedule… he’d still tried to stay big the night before, and when they were finally able to get him to drop he spent hours crying - it had taken Derek driving around with him in the carseat to get him to finally sleep. Derek was almost relieved that Meredith had gotten her call out while Derek was driving, at least then it hadn’t made Alex cry until the morning when she wasn’t there.
Derek shifted Alex on his lip, his kid let out a small whimper, “It’s okay,” he assured him, “daddy’s got you. Let’s get you into some clean clothes, huh?” he cooed, “We don’t want to go out covered in your choccy oats do we?”
“‘Tay,” Alex whined.
“I know you want us to stay,” he told him, managing to stay patient despite it being the forty third time he’d said it, “but daddy’s got to go and help people, and you’re going to go and play.”
“No p’ay.”
“Okay buddy, you don’t have to play if you don’t want to.”
He bounced him gently as he moved around Alex’s room, grabbing stuff to get him ready for daycare. Normally he’d give him an option over a couple of things, but today he just grabbed something comfy for him. They apparently really needed to do laundry, but he found a pair of comfy joggers and a sweatshirt with Winnie the Pooh on it, a gift from one of his sisters… he couldn’t remember which.
“You’re going to go and have a very calm time, like me and mommy told you, there's going to be littles there who are even littler than you.”
“Nuh uh, I baby!”
Derek smiled at his pouting baby, “You are. There’s going to be littles who are around how big you feel today, if you feel a little different by lunch you can change which class you're in for this afternoon."
“Nuh uh, go home, peas?”
“You’ll come home once daddy’s done with work, just like I used to when you went to daycare, right?”
Alex’s bottom lip jutted out even more, “I ‘tay.”
“You won’t stay at daycare forever, just until I’m done working. You know that I’m going to come and get you, I promise to, I’m always going to.”
“Mama home.”
“Mama will finish a little later today, she traded shifts so she can come and play with Rowan with us tomorrow.”
“No, no, no, no,” Alex whined.
“I know, baby, that’s the word of the day,” but he didn’t really blame him, not when it was taking him all he had to even carry out the plan to take him to daycare - he knew it was the right thing, and that it was for the best for him, for them all really, but that didn’t make it any less hard or agonizing.
He changed Alex into a clean diaper, trying to distract and talk to him, but Alex was clearly finding words hard, with dropping down young, he changed him into the clothes he picked out, multiple times stopping Alex from pulling his socks off. “Are we going to take your shark and your dragon today?”
“Finny an Wor-wee.”
Derek smiled, “Yes, Finny and Rory, don’t worry I remember their names, but you’re a very clever boy to remind me.”
“Tay bags?”
“I think if you’re in the littlest class you can have them out because its quieter than your usual class- we’ll talk to the teacher, Miss Amy and Miss Rachel,” he watched Alex’s face light up at that second name and tried not to wince, “it’s a different Miss Rachel buddy, it’s the daycare one not the screen time one.”
“Sing though?”
Derek sat him up on the changing table, pressing a kiss to his forehead, “I think you might be able to get her to sing, yeah buddy, you just shoot her those pretty brown eyes of yours.” He hitched him up onto his hip, “Okay, time for daddy to get dressed too, we’ll get you set up on my bed-”
“-Mama’s bed.”
Derek rolled his eyes with a smile, “It’s daddy’s bed too, I know it was mommy’s first, but it’s also mine now.”
The sooner they moved into the new house the better.
Derek carried Alex into the hospital on his hip, his left arm was holding onto both his and Alex’s bags, which would ordinarily be difficult without Alex wiggling while holding onto three of his teddies- his shark, his dragon, and his actual dinosaur version of Bumpy the ankylosaurus.
“Bad!”
Derek sighed, hitching him more onto his hip, “I know pal, I’m very mean, but you're going to have fun, and I’m going to come back for you. I always will, Alexander.”
“Der bad,” he whined, wiggling in Derek’s arms. “Naughty.”
“Okay, well you’re welcome to think that, I’m still going to be coming back for you, I always will.”
“No. Bad.”
Derek just nodded his head, it wasn’t like Alex to not be his best friend, but also at the end of the day he was a young toddler, and when they were hurt they used any words they had to lash out… Alex more than others. He just continued carrying him through the hallways until Alex’s wiggling became too much.
“Alexander Michael, I know that you’re not happy with me, I get that and that’s okay to be feeling upset and scared, but it’s not safe for you to be wiggling around like this.”
“Can!”
“No, Alexander, you’re not going to be, or daddy’s going to have to start bringing the stroller we have.”
“Nuh uh, no got one.”
“We do have one, we’ve just not used it yet, but if we need to use it to keep you safe then we will be.”
“Mean! Bad daddy!”
“Okay,” Derek sighed again, “You’re allowed to think that, but you’re going to stop wiggling around when I’m holding you, you getting hurt isn’t an option.”
To his surprise Alex actually did minimize his wiggling and squirming, though he did continue to whine and whimper and cry that Derek was mean, it wasn’t fun for Derek, but at least he kept Alex safe…. Their brief pause had meant that they hadn’t gotten to the separate building as early as Derek had intended, having forgotten how far it was from the entrance Derek had chosen to go through,, instead he got to the check in of daycare behind a whole queue of people, and Alex began to cry.
“I know buddy,” Derek soothed, bouncing him as he cooed, “it’s okay, we’ll be in there soon, we’ve just got to check in.” He felt his shirt get damp as Alex hid his face against his side, he felt another stab of guilt. He placed his and Alex’s backpacks down on the ground between his legs so he could move Alex from on his hip, instead he cuddled him close, cradling the back of his head and letting Alex hide his face against him. “It’s okay baby, it’s okay. You like daycare, you’ve been here before. And I promise that I’ll be back to get you so fast, you’re going to have lots of fun and play with some friends.”
He wasn’t sure that Alex agreed with him about that, considering he clutched tighter to Derek’s shirt, sticking it in his mouth to suck on as he cried. Derek rested his head on Alex’s trying his hardest to calm him down still… but it wasn’t working.
“Doctor Shepherd?” Paige, the receptionist, smiled at him as the people in front of them moved through the doors. “Hi, it’s good to see Alex back with us.” The look on her face told Derek that everyone there knew what had gone down with Alex. “I’ve just checked you in, I know you’re in the baby room today, Ms Rachel just asks that you wait outside of the room while she gets a few of our other Littles settled in for the day, that way you can talk through Alex’s schedule quickly before you have to go, if that’s okay?”
Derek nodded, he felt Alex cowering into him, it took him a moment to find his own voice, “Yeah, yeah I made sure I got here earlier than I needed to for my meeting, I know Ms Rachel had said about that on the phone appointment,” he sent her a quick smile as soon as the words were out of his mouth, he realized that he sounded a little brusk, he didn’t want to brush her off, she was doing her job, and she probably dealt with a lot of caregivers who left it until last minute to drop their Littles off, or who were just running late.
“That’s perfect, Paige smiled, “you have no idea how much that helps us out.”
Derek nodded, picking up the backpacks from the ground he went through the doors, despite being hyperaware of the fact that Alex was going to be in the baby room, he still nearly walked into the class one up - Alex’s usual one. He was just relieved that Alex was still hiding his face and wasn’t even looking up, he didn’t want to have to have let him down again today.
“Uncle Der!”
Derek turned around automatically, and smiled as soon as he saw Jackson running at him with an excited look on his face. Derek managed to get his arm which was holding onto the bags around him as he crashed into him giving him a hug. “Hey Jack Jack, have you got daycare today?”
“Yea-” Jackson’s face dropped as soon as he saw who Derek was holding onto.
Despite it being still fairly early in the morning Jackson was fully awake and was glaring up at Alex who didn’t even look at him, the only reason Derek knew that he was aware that Jackson was there was because he held tighter to Derek’s shirt.
“No. This is my class, uncle Der, he can’t come, it’s just mine. You gotta take him to your work with you,” he thought on something for a second, “But he can’t do surgeries, he’s not allowed.”
“Jackson Montgomery Sloan!” Mark’s voice was as stern as possible as he walked up on his son, his eyes were firmly on the little but his cheeks were pink with embarrassment. “One: you share going to daycare with others, you’re not in charge of who goes into it. And two- you’re allowed to have your big emotions over everything which happened, but you’re not allowed to be mean, that’s just not happening.”
Jackson frowned and placed his hands over his ears, but purposely waited until Mark was finished talking.
Derek placed his hand on the top of Jackson’s head, glad that he was going to get to be the good guy to at least one little today. “Your daddy’s right,” he soothed, “I know that Alex is pretty nervous today, that’s his big emotion, but he’s dropped little today so he’s not going to go into your class today.” He watched Jackson frown and look a little confused. “He’s going to be in the baby class today, so you don’t have to worry about being with him, not today at least, I know you’re still feeling a lot of big feelings, and that’s more than okay, I just want to remind you that Alex loves you so much, as do I, and it’s all going to be okay. Okay little man?”
Jackson didn’t look fully convinced but he quickly hugged Derek, sent Alex a look which Alex didn’t even look back at, that made Jackson’s look turn sad, but he took Mark’s hand and let him lead him back towards the other room, Mark telling him that they were going to have a talk first. Derek just left him to it.
Derek walked further down the corridor to the door at the very end. This door was decorated with little rocking horses, and blocks with letters on them, a little faded from the sun coming through the window. Like the other doors there was a window set into the door, this one had a sign blu tacked to it, welcoming their ‘friends’, and showing two teachers greeting them in ASL. At the bottom of the poster he saw the same greeting message repeated in Spanish, Tagalog, and again in mandarin. He’d forgotten even seeing it on the door during their first tour all that time ago.
“Bome.”
“Bome?” Derek asked, “Oh, home?” in response Alex let out a small whine as he sucked on Derek’s shirt. “Home later, fun now.”
“Oh oh, no fwun. Bad.”
“You can think I’m bad, that’s okay sunshine. But no matter what, I’ll be picking you up later on, because I’m your daddy and I love you.”
He swayed as he waited outside of the room, hoping that the movement would bring comfort to Alex, and that he wouldn’t feel the anxieties which Derek was trying to hide from him.
Soon they were joined by a woman in her late twenties, Derek had expected for her to be dressed as the one on the tv, she wasn’t completely different, but her hair was held back with a claw clip, she wore brown pants, and a sleeveless white sweater, a very different outfit than Mx River who tended to wear fun bright clothing, but then Derek knew that the younger class wasn’t as bright and colorful, it was more calming, understandably considering the Littles who were in here were often around Alex’s age when fully dropped, but tended to be more… sensitive? Perhaps that was the wrong word, but Derek wasn’t sure how to describe it otherwise. One of the main reasons why Alex hadn’t come to this class before was due to the wildness of him in general, but also how he seemed to thrive having Jackson or April around, even with the others in the class… though that was before, obviously. Derek reminded himself that it was good to at least try this, especially considering that Alex and his cousins were no longer on speaking terms - little or big.
Miss Rachel beamed at them, “Hi there! Sorry to keep you both waiting, I was helping settle in another little friend. I’m miss Rachel.”
“Derek,” he answered, even though they both knew each others names and had talked a little on the phone. “And this is Alex.” Alex curled in closer to him, no longer sucking on Derek’s shirt but still holding tight to it, Derek was already dreading the moment he had to pry him off of him. “He’s a little shy,” he told her apologetically.
“That’s okay, I get shy too sometimes, why don’t you both come inside?” She opened the door, stepping aside to allow them inside, “I can tell you what we’re up to today, and you can meet some new friends, Alex.”
Derek felt Alex grumble against him, he didn’t bother to say anything, even when Alex was in the best mood possible, gaining new friends wasn’t exactly his specialty…. The idea of ‘new friends’ wasn’t going to happen, but Miss Rachel could find that out on her own.
They walked in, the pale blue walls were covered in simplistic clouds, the lights weren’t the fluorescents which plagued the hospital, nor the bright ones in the older rooms, these ones were low, like the ones they used for nap time, maybe slightly brighter. It was probably just what Alex needed today.
“So, I know you’ve got to get off, but I just want to run through some more checks, oh, I’ll take his backpack,” she smiled as he handed it over, “I know the other class hang theirs up, we have trays for their things here, and we deal with them, it's easier for the babies.” She looped the straps over one of her arms so that it was hanging just over them, the casual way she did it made it clear that she did this often.
“We have milk formula for nap time, we did talk to your wife to make sure that it’s the same which you have at home.” Miss Rachel continued. “That’s not changed, the brand I mean?”
“No, it’s all the same.”
“Okay good, and no medications need to be administered?”
Derek shook his head.
“And what does Alex know you and your wife as?”
“Excuse me?”
“I know he’s fostered, a lot of littles here are, understandably. I meant does he refer to you and your wife by your names, or mommy and daddy, or something else?”
“Oh! Oh, yeah. We’re back to being mommy and daddy to him, or referring to us by those names, he’s not started saying it again yet, but when he’s big we’ve talked about it, he’s happy for people to refer to us as mommy and daddy.”
“Great, that’s perfect. Okay that’s all of that. I know you have to go fairly soon, but just to fill you in on our schedule today- we’re going to be playing a little, then it’s snack time, we have some halloween crafts to do as it’s so close to the season.”
“Alex loves crafts, don’t you buddy?”
Alex let out a whine, “Nuh uh,” Derek heard him say quietly.
Derek sighed softly, bouncing Alex, “Okay,” he soothed quietly.
Miss Rachel smiled softly, “Don’t worry, their first time here is often like this, they warm up fast. After craft time we change them, though obviously if they need to be changed earlier then we will, but then after that it’s lunch- today we have chicken stir-fry with a side of both noodles and rice for them to try, carrots and broccoli, and some dried mango.”
Derek nodded, “The vegetables might not go so well, especially the broccoli.”
“That’s okay, we’ll try anyway, the littles tend to be more adventurous here surrounded by friends. But if he doesn’t eat them we’ll sub in some other fruit or vegetables, we don’t force them to eat what they don’t like here, just encourage it.”
Derek knew this, they’d gone through it before in one of the phone calls, they’d stressed Alex’s issues with food, and how they didn’t force him, they knew that the other class teachers didn’t force Alex, but it was a relief to multiple times be assured that Alex wouldn’t be forced to eat. “Thanks.” He told her quietly.
Miss Rachel gave him a small smile, “I think it might be time to say goodbye.”
Derek hesitated, then moved Alex in his arms, enough to be able to see his face- Alex tried to bury himself back against Derek, his face screwed up into a pout, Derek sent him a patient smile, deliberately not kissing his forehead like he usually would, he knew that Alex would immediately cuddle close to him if he brought him back to him. “Hey buddy, this place looks really cool, huh? It looks like you’re going to have a lot of fun. Daddy’s so jealous, I wish I could stay here and play, instead I’ve got to do some very boring work, I’ve got to help people-”
Alex burst into loud and hysterical tears, a full meltdown.
Ten minutes later Derek forced himself out of the room, Ms Rachel seemed to think that it was fine, that it was just the usual separation anxiety, the one which all kids went through, but Derek knew it wasn’t. It really wasn’t. He was being left here, and although Derek and Meredith had made sure to tell him a lot that it was just daycare and he was going to be picked back up, Alex was too young, and had too much trauma, to believe that he wasn’t being abandoned.
He paused in the doorway, he could figure out a way of getting through his day with Alex attached to him, to apologize to him for even leaving him for a minute, for upsetting him. And then how to try again, next time more successfully.
“Nuh uh, I know that look.”
Derek hadn’t noticed Mark leaning against the wall opposite him until he heard his words. He must have looked like he wasn’t going to be able to be argued with as Mark didn’t even continue to try and convince him with words, instead he closed the gap between them, and looped his arm around Derek’s shoulders, his hand clutching onto him as he frog marched him down the corridor, not fully out of it, but away from the doorway should Alex happen to see him. Derek didn’t make much of an effort to shake him off, but when they got to where Mark was taking him he let go. Derek leant back against the wall, his head hitting it a little harder than Derek had intended to do it. He must have looked pathetic as Mark didn’t even call him a dumbass for doing it.
Derek could still hear Alex’s cries down the corridor.
“He’s going to hate me.”
“He could never hate you.”
“You don’t know that.”
Mark sighed compassionately. “I can about as close as I can to promising you anything. But I know that it’s hard to do this, to drop them off, ever, let alone after everything you guys have been through.”
Derek was quiet for a moment, “I just… I guess I thought that it would be back to normal, y’know? That he’d be made up to be back, even with trying out the younger class, he would immediately be distracted by the toys and things…. Not screaming and holding his breath.”
“I get that, and I know you’re not going to be able to see it right now, but it’ll be back to normal really soon. It always sucks a little, no matter what, but it’ll be back to normal soon. And once Alex is actually back at work you won’t feel so guilty.”
Derek frowned down at the floor, taking another beat of silence. “I’m pretty sure you’re just recycling what I told you when you first started freaking out about Jackson going to daycare.”
“Yeah well,” Mark rubbed the back of his neck, “it was probably the smartest thing you ever said. It makes sense that it was from all of the pre-fostering research you did."
Derek let out a snort of laughter, “Yeah, I was making that shit up,” he told him casually.
“What?”
Derek glanced up to see if Mark was being serious or not. It was clear from the look on his face that he was being serious, and had never even considered that Derek wasn’t giving him actual researched advice.
Derek couldn't help but smile and let out a small laugh, not his usual amount, but more than his snort laugh he’d let out a moment ago. “Mark, I didn’t have Alex back then, or any Little, I didn’t have experience in this. I thought you were going to try and start up a daycare in the waiting room near the ORs and make some interns look after Jackson. So did Addie… so she offered me $10 to try and convince you it would get better really soon.”
Mark's eyes narrowed at him.
Derek smirked, “Don’t worry, I told her I’d do it for free as you were bugging me with the constant lamenting at me.”
“I wasn’t that bad.”
“You really were, I thought we were going to have to set up a suicide watch….” Derek pushed himself off of the wall, his eyes went back down the corridor to where Alex’s classroom was, where the crying was still coming, just slightly quieter than before. He forced himself to look away, back at Mark.
“You’re a dick, you know that, right?”
“I’ve been told before, I’m just too full of myself to actually believe the people who think that.” He took in a slow breath as Mark rolled his eyes. He could still hear Alex, he couldn’t stay here, not if he was actually going to be staying strong with this. “Let’s head outta here: I promised to meet up with Amy for a coffee while she catches me up on a couple of cases possibly coming in, if you want to-....”
“-Yeah,” Mark threw his arm around Derek’s shoulders, “you can buy me a coffee.”
Derek rolled his eyes, but he guessed Mark had helped him with this whole distraction thing. He wasn’t sure how long he was going to feel the minimal relief his brother had brought, but he knew that if he stayed here, Alex’s muffled crying down the corridor, he wouldn’t be able to cope.
Alex cried until the skin on his face hurt and Alex couldn’t any longer. He finally stopped, and became aware that he was still being held by Miss Rachel, he didn’t want to be held by her, he wanted his forever mommy and daddy - he didn’t want to be in daycare, he didn’t want to be alone, he wanted…-
“Dow’” he insisted. “Down,” he repeated pleadingly,wiggling in her arms to try and get down.
“Okay Alex, I’m going to put you down,” she told him calmly, “but we can’t wiggle like that, we don’t want you to fall and hurt yourself.”
Alex just let out a loud whine. He didn’t care about the fact that he could have fallen, he’d have been fine, he always was. He was placed down carefully and Alex immediately half ran half crawled away from anyone, retreating to a corner, inside of a tent, full of cushions and pretty lights.
He pulled his knees up to his chest.
At some point he heard someone trying to talk to him, it wasn’t Miss Rachel, but it was a grown ups voice. He ignored them.
At some point soon his teddies were passed to him in the tent, the ones his daddy had packed in his daycare bag, his favorites, his best friends. He grabbed them and held them close to him, cuddling them because he knew that they needed it. They missed his mommy and daddy, so he was comforting them, definitely not the other way around.
After some point longer he heard a voice again, this time Miss Rachel’s barely familiar voice coming from outside the tent. He peeped his head out, he sure enough found her sitting outside the tent, she glanced around at him, sending him a smile, but his eyes were focused on the big building blocks in her hands, he had some of them at home, given to him for his birthday, ones his mommy and daddy said that he wouldn’t be able to put in his mouth.
“Buil’?” He asked.
“We can definitely build something, what do you want to build?” Alex shrugged. “How about we build a tower first?”
Alex frowned, he wanted to build with his mommy or daddy, or both, both would be best. But clearly Miss Rachel had no one to build with her. He looked around the room, there were a few other teachers in the room, each of them with one or two Littles, including one who was being rocked as she was crying. She was clearly an annoying baby. Alex didn’t like all of her crying.
“Do you want to play with some new friends?”
Alex shook his head vigorously, no. No he did not. “Builb,” he insisted instead.
“Okay, that sounds like a fun time,” the teacher enthused, “I’m not very good at building towers, can you teach me?”
Alex nodded his head, because he was really really good at building, better than Jackson and April, even better than adults like uncle Mark.
Derek found himself in a stopped elevator with Miranda Bailey towards the end of his shift, he only had to send some emails before he could pick up his kid and head home, but he and Bailey had an unspoken pact that when one of them needed the other they made themselves available.
Bailey was clearly going through marital issues, which Derek felt bad that he wasn’t completely surprised by, he tried not to let his own feelings (based on what she had told him in the past) interfere in his advice. He waited for her to press the button for the elevator to move again, but she didn’t.
“Is there something else?”
“No,” she sent him a pointed look, “it’s your turn.”
“I’m fine, all fine.”
She raised an eyebrow. “I know all about the big fall out between the kids, I know you’re not finding that ‘all fine’.”
Derek sighed, “It’s… It’s not something I think I can fix, the balls in Jackson and April’s courts. It’s really not something I need to talk about, Bailey, I promise.”
She sighed full of irritation. “Talk, Shepherd.” He looked down at her and raised an eyebrow in return, she looked as sheepish as Bailey ever could. “Please? Just… I need to know other people have petty messy worries when it comes to their kids.”
Derek nodded, she had talked to him about some things which had gone on with Tuck, before having Alex he wouldn’t have believed that babies’ daycares could have any drama, now he fully believed her about the issues a ‘stolen truck’ could cause.
He let out a slow sigh, “It’s just weird, I mean April mostly forgives Alex, which is a relief, considering that he was saying things to deliberately try to hurt her, but Jackson’s holding a grudge, which,” he sighed again, “is exactly what Alex would be doing if the positions were reversed. He tried to push everyone away in hopes of getting sent away, which I get was because he was terrified, but… those three can see that kind of thing for anyone but each other. I just don’t know how to fix this.”
Bailey was quiet for a minute. “Do you remember what Alex was like when he was an intern?” She didn’t bother to wait for him to answer, “All prickly and off putting, so much of an asshole that I had his entire group learning how to have manners like they’re in grade school.”
“I do remember that… so are you telling me that I shouldn’t try to help this? That he’s just always going to be like this?”
“No, what I ‘m saying is that even him being an asshole back then, without any redeeming features, wasn’t enough to put everyone off back then, not forever, I mean he’s one of Yang’s favorite people in the world, which she maybe have three people she’d rate as that, and we both know how much Grey has always loved him, even back then. And while I would never tell him this because we know how much it would inflate his ego, he’s one of my favorites too.”
Derek smiled, “Your secret’s safe with me.” He leant his head back against the metal of the elevator. “It’s just… this could be it, for the kids, I mean everyone has their limits, trust me I know that from experience.”
“With your sister?”
Derek didn’t look at her, instead he looked at the closed doors and nodded silently.
“Huh, weird,” Bailey’s voice was full of sarcasm, “from what I’ve seen every time I enter this hospital and every time I go to your parties she’s still a big part of your life.”
“That’s… That’s different.” Derek knew his face sounded choked, he didn’t think even the most gullible person in the world would believe his words.
“Look, I hate that cheesy crap about everyone in a work place being a family, that’s dumb and not true, and is creepy in every workplace… but here it’s… it applies, not to everyone but to us, and to our friends here, and those three are as close as any cousins, hell they’re about as close as siblings. They’re just in their feelings right now, soon enough they’re going to be back to how they always were, and you’re going to miss this moment of peace.”
Derek couldn’t help but laugh. He couldn’t argue with her logic. “Thanks for the therapy session.”
“It’s okay, I’m going to need one of these after thanksgiving, my mother in law has invited herself, and thinks that I’m going to be doing all the cooking, and all of her family is coming over too, oh and they’re all staying in my house.”
Derek winced, “I’ll book you in for an elevator session. I would invite you to my house to hide, but,” he watched as she flicked the emergency stop off, the elevator made a loud noise as it came back to life, there was a ‘thump’ and the elevator started to move down again, “my mom’s planning on coming to visit us around then, I’ve still got to convince her that she’s got to stay in a hotel, but even if I do…”
“Yeah, I think I’ll just try and switch my shifts with someone, Tucker can deal with his family without me.”
“Well if you need anything let me know, okay?”
“Sure.”
Alex didn’t like the people in this class, he liked his other one better, a lot better. One of them was constantly crying, it was really really annoying, so Alex hit her to stop her from crying, only ending up in a time out for it. Then when he was playing someone else hit him over the head with a toy, he cried and got taken out of the room to get checked up, but when they went back to the classroom the boy wasn’t even in time out. He said sorry and stuff, but Alex wasn’t still didn’t like him.
He missed his other class, he missed April and Jackson. Miss Rachel and the other teachers here were nice, but he missed the other one, even if he was the youngest one in that class, he was fine with that, sure there were some here who were older than him still, but he didn’t like them as much as the big kids in the other class. He just… he didn’t want to be here. It was boring. They were nice, very nice, the teachers and most of the kids, but he didn’t want to be in this class.
He frowned as he focused building it tower, he hadn’t slept well because he didn’t want nap time, he wanted his parents, and he had done some fun painting but that was this morning, and at outdoor play they hadn’t been allowed to play in the more fun place with all the bigger kids, it was just over the fence, but he’d been told off for trying to climb over the fence to get to that play area on his own. He was tired and he wanted his parents and he just wanted….
“Hey koala cub.”
Alex felt a hand on his back, a familiar hand, and an even more familiar voice. Alex turned so fast that he nearly fell over. Sure enough his daddy was there, his hair slightly messy, but a big smile on his face. Alex didn’t hesitate, he threw himself at Derek, who scooped him into his arms. “DER!” Alex finally shouted, but Derek just held him closer, he didn’t even tell him to use his inside voice. Instead he chuckled.
“Hey buddy, I missed you too, a lot. Did you have a good day?”
Alex hesitated then shook his head, hiding his face against Derek, “Bad.” he admitted quietly.
“Hey,” Derek pulled back so that Alex would look him in the eyes. “It’s okay, Miss Rachel told me that today was hard, but you said sorry when you needed to, right?” Alex nodded his head, “then it’s all done and finished buddy, we don’t have to continue. And you’re not bad, you did some unkind things, but you are not bad, Alexander.”
“Hum?”
“Hu- Home?”
Alex nodded his head, his eyes going wide as he looked up at his foster father hopefully. “Uh huh, an’ Mer?”
Derek grimaced, “Mer still has to work a little, but she’ll be home before bedtime, and you and I are going to go home, I know you did some crafts here today, Miss Rachel put them in your backpack, we’ll have to put them up in the fridge, but maybe you and I can do some coloring in?”
“One for Mer?”
Derek smiled and pressed a kiss to his forehead, “Of course we can color something in for Mer, she’ll be so happy if you do.” Derek stood up, Alex still in his arms. “Shall we say bye bye to your friends?”
Alex shook his head, “No fwends, no’wanna go here.”
Derek signed but he didn’t push it, “Okay buddy, we’ll see, but for now let’s just go home.”