Chapter Text
Walking around the castle got easier. I didn't know the entire layout, but I was getting used to being around. Usually, I would try to stay in my room. So I would stay out of the other's way. I knew that they were busy doing their jobs. So I didn't want to be a burden to anyone. But more often than not, they would try to seek me out anyway. Of course, It was due to the fact that all of them wanted to give me my perfect heaven. And I was never upset about this. It actually made me quite happy that they wanted me to be around. Since I didn't have many friends in my living life. Today, I was quite bored and wanted to actually find someone to talk to. And maybe even look around the castle more.
So I left my room. And I started to walk around the castle. I was walking around for about ten minutes and no one has shown themselves to me yet. Usually around this time, I would actually see someone. Doing something even if they're busy. So I started to actively look for someone to talk to. When I peeked my head into a room, I saw Namjoon sitting at a desk. He looked like he was doing paperwork. I was going to walk in when he noticed me. He smiled but then said that I wasn't allowed in. I accepted that and bowed to him. He gave me an apologetic smile before going back to his papers.
I was really bored at this point and wanted to talk to anyone. Then I spotted Taehyung. He had a clipboard while there was a door in front of him. It had his name on it in cursive, so I knew it was a door to his realm. I tried to walk up to him without him noticing, but he already sensed my presence.
“Hi Y/N, what can I do for you?”
“Oh, you already noticed me. I don't know, I guess I was just wondering if we could hang out or something.”
He gave me a sympathetic look.
“I'm sorry, I can't. I really have to finish my work. Hey, maybe you can wait for me and then I can try to give you your perfect heaven. But you might be waiting a while.”
I side.
“That's okay. What are you doing anyway?”
“Ohh, I'm doing my soul count. We only do it once every human year.”
I tilted my head.
“Soul count?”
Yes, a soul count. It's when you count all the souls that reside in your realm. You see which ones you had gained, and which ones you lost. A lot of souls that reside in the realms end up turning into a parasite later. So we always have to count to make sure which ones we have left. It's never in a zack number since so many come each day and so many get turned into parasites. So it's usually just a close estimate.”
Parasites, I didn't really know much about them. But I did want to learn more. I knew that parasites were sinners that had no remorse, empathy or no desire to change. So their corruption literally turns them into monsters. But I don't know much about them or actual sinners in general.
“Hey, Taehyung.”
He didn't turn to me.He just kept writing things in his clipboard. But I can tell he was listening.
“Hum… you know, you can call me Tae, or V right? I would prefer that.”
“Right, sorry, Tae… Can I ask you a question?”
He continued to write things down.
“You can ask me a question, but that doesn't mean I'm obligated to answer.”
I pouted at him. Sometimes I really didn't like how indecisive or vague they were with answers.
“I was just curious about parasites.”
He finally perked up and looked back at me. His eyes felt like ice looking at me.
“What about them.”
“Ohh... well, I, uhh… I was just curious about them. Like why do you guys fight them?”
He stared at me with a blank expression. Before turning back to the door and starting to write stuff down again.
“It's kind of a silly question, isn't it. But I guess you don't know, but I would think that it's pretty obvious. You yourself already encountered them. As you can tell, they're very dangerous. You see, if we don't get rid of parasites, they can seep into the human world and cause mayhem without people even knowing. We punish sinners to show them what they did was wrong. We don't punish them because we want to. We punish them because we have to. If we don't, there's a good chance that they'll never see the error of their ways and turn into those monsters. But some people are just monsters and will never see the error of their ways. So they'll turn into them anyway. No feelings, no remorse, no nothing, just intent to harm people. Parasites are the true demons. Parasites are so dangerous that they find their way out to anything that's happy or living. That's why they got into your perfect heaven. They want to destroy happiness and beauty and make it crumble. If they get too strong, they can break into the human world. So we had to dispose of them before that happens.”
That was a lot of information to take. But I was still curious about a few things.
“Had they ever escaped to earth before.”
He sighed.
“All the time, but since we police them so much. There's way less going into the world than there should be. Them being there literally breaks human minds. Make people do things that they will never actually do. Make people see hallucinations for everything. For example, let's say, a man was a family man and always loved his family and never did anything wrong. Then, a parasite snuck into his house and sank there way into his mind. Slowly, but surely he started changing. He started drinking more, going out more, doing things that he knew he shouldn't be doing, hitting his children and his wife. Eventually doing something so bad that he ends up killing one of them and he goes to jail for it. If it wasn't for that parasite, that would have never happened. That parasite literally changed his perspective to be a completely different person. And sometimes, certain types of parasites can make you do certain types of things. Like if you are parasite, that came from the Lust realm. It may turn you into a chronic cheater, or if that parasite was a murderer in their life. It might turn someone into a murderer themselves. That's why we have to make sure that we keep them under control and keep as many of them off of earth as possible. That's why we need to do a count every year. We need to know how many people have changed into parasites, because we can't actually police them all. Some of them do slip through the cracks. And that's why there are some on earth. We don't want that.”
I started to look sad at the floor. That was definitely a lot to deal with. Back on earth, science and medicine explains why people have psychotic breaks out of nowhere. It can be due to extreme amounts of stress or something that's weighing on your mind. But what he just explained explains a lot on why people can have a psychotic break out of nowhere. To think that it might actually be demons on earth and making people go mad and do things that they wouldn't actually do is terrifying. I didn't say that out loud. But I could tell that he knew what I was thinking.
“Hey, I'm still working. I have to finish my count. Maybe you should actually go talk to JK. He actually can give you your perfect heaven. He's completely free.”
I looked up at him.
“I thought you said everyone was busy. Doing their count.”
“I did, but JK already finished his count and he is free.”
“Really.”
I tilted my head and he started to chuckle.
“Yeah, JK is a perfectionist. He has to be the best at everything and he usually is. It's actually a product of him being the sin of Envy. If he's not better than everyone, then he'll get jealous and angry. The only thing that he doesn't get jealous about is when it comes down to us other sins. He knows he can't do our jobs better than he can do his own job. So it doesn't make him feel that way. But he does have to be better in everything else. He even mastered cooking, just to be better than Jin. That's why he got his count done so early. So he could be ahead of everyone else. I'm not saying this to say that he's a bad demon or that he thinks he's better than all of us. It's just the way he's wired, because of his sin. You know, Jimin is more lustful than all the rest of us because of his. And RM will never admit when he's wrong because he's too prideful. It's just how it works.”
I nodded my head.
“I get that, so where can I find him?”
He smiled at me.
“Just walk down this hallway and follow the sound of singing. You'll find him.”
I bow to him.
“Thank you.”
He waved goodbye as I started to walk away. I did as he said, and just walked straight down the hallway. I thought I was walking forever. The hallway twisted and turned but I never took any other directions. I was too scared to get lost. But then I heard it. An angelic voice. It was something that I've never heard in my entire life. I followed the sounds and it led me to a big room. When I pushed open the door, there he was. Sitting on the top of a ledge, singing a song while playing a guitar. The room was filled with all sorts of musical instruments and had a huge stained glass window. The lighting hit him so perfectly that it made him look ethereal as he sat up there and sang.
“Your voice is beautiful.”
I walked in, clasping my heart like he was taking my breath away. He looked at me and continued to sing while starting to float down from the edge. He let go of the guitar, but the guitar was still strumming something as he did. He grabbed me by my hands and started to pull me closer to him. He pulled me close to his body and started to waltz me around the room. I swear my stomach started turning into knots. Nothing felt real as he sang and played beautiful music in the background. He was never off key, always to the beat, and never let his voice pitch in tone. By the end of his chorus. He had waltzed me all the way over to a chair where there was coffee and snacks. He started to pour me some as I just sat there, still shocked, by how beautiful his voice was.
“Your voice is truly amazing.”
He just smiled as he sat down and started to drink his coffee.
“That was nothing. We all can do that. I would say I might be the best singer out of all of us though.”
I smiled at him.
“So is that why you guys have this huge room.”
He smiled looking around the room.
“Yes, we've never been to earth, but we know what goes on down there. We still can't believe that humans evolve so much that they made a way to express themselves in such a beautiful way. We loved this expression so much that we all decided to take it up ourselves. We're really good at it too. It's amazing what the seven of us can do together. I honestly can talk about this expression for hours. It makes us feel so happy and warm inside. It makes this place feel less dull than it actually is.”
I smile softly.
“Music is truly beautiful.”
He looked at me.
“Is that what this is called, music?”
I looked visibly shocked.
“You didn't know that's what it is called. Yes, music, I seriously thought someone as old as you would know everything.”
He looked a bit sheepish.
“Well honestly, I wish I knew everything. But just like you, were trapped here, we can't leave, and we do our jobs endlessly. The only reason why we figured out about music was through people's soul records. That's how we know what some things look like and what are some things called? But not everything. A lot of the stuff that we know is just pieced together with memories and information that we get from other people's minds. But I honestly love it so much. It is something that none of us can live without. It's sort of like a forever passion for us. That's why we have so many things in this room that can make beautiful sounds.”
I smiled.
“What do you know about music?”
He looked at me and got up and walked over to the piano in the corner. He sat down and started to play.
“A lot, but we actually don't know a lot of the technical terms. Like, I know that all these things in this room are called instruments, but I never knew the term of what instruments make, which is music, and I don't even know what this instrument is called.”
I got a big smile on my face.
“You want me to tell you.”
His eyes looked like they were shining.
“You would do that for me.”
“Of course. What you're sitting at is a piano, and the thing that you were strumming earlier was a guitar. And there's so many other things too. Like over there is a violin, and that's a base. Right there is drums, and that's a soundboard, and it looks like you even have a whole recording studio in here. It looks like you guys have all the setup to actually start making music together.”
He started to blush and got a bit embarrassed.
“Well yeah, as I told you, we all picked it up as a passion. We don't know what happened. But one day it just started all clicking. Like a lot of soul records have so many beautiful sounds and noises, and we all started getting attracted to it. We started to conjure up what the things look like and started keeping it in this big room. Since this room was always empty. Even Suga started putting words and phrases together that sounded great and soon, RM and J-Hope joined him and we would sing together what they wrote.”
I sat at the piano with him.
“It sounds like Yoongi is a lyricist, and so is Namjoon and Hoseok. I bet you guys make amazing music together. I know earth would just love to hear you guys play and write songs. Just by that little bit that you showed me. I was almost brought to tears.”
He had a wide smile on his face before it faltered and he started to stare down at the piano. I noticed immediately.
“What's wrong?”
He's side.
“Thank you for all your kind words. But earth doesn't deserve to hear something as beautiful as what we can do.”
I looked visibly shocked.
“Why?”
“Because I witnessed it. Humans will take anything beautiful or kind or magnificent and crush it simply because they are bitter and jealous. You can be the nicest person in the world and share your gift with everyone. In return, someone, or a group of people will still try to bring you down even if you did nothing wrong. They spread rumors, drag your name through the mud, torch It, and burn it down to the ground. Just because they are jealous of what you can give and provide. And that's not even the worst part, even if people don't do that. Everyone always asks for more, pushing someone over the edge. Just because they can't churn out something fast enough. It's quite tiring being a human and having to deal with so many selfish people. I do wish that we could share what we learned with others. But I'm completely content in just sharing it with you and my brothers. I don't want to see their faces be crushed because some measly humans didn't like how it sounded or were so taken in by it, that they wanted to take it for themselves.”
I just looked at him. I couldn't even blame him for thinking that way. Because in the end, he was right. Completely right actually. Someone can start a rumor and people would run with it even if it isn't true. Your career can be ruined in an instance just by someone being jealous of you and wanting to ruin your life. He's definitely seen it all being the embodiment of Envy himself.
“But you know that not everyone is like that, right?”
He chuckled softly.
“I know, but I only get to see the people who are. I'm the embodiment of Envy, remember. My job is to judge people. So I only get to see how terrible people really are. I never get to see the good souls, like you. But I've seen enough to know that someone could say that they're your friend, your family, your companion, and lie straight to your face and stab you in the back when it's the most convenient to them. I've seen it happen countless times. Humans are stupid enough to fall for it every time too. That's why there's so many sinners and parasites. It's only been on a rare occasion where I truly feel bad for someone for being down here. Where I feel like they didn't do enough to deserve a fate like this, and was just dealt a bad hand in life.”
I looked sad at the piano. Everything he was saying was true. There was nothing that I really could argue with. Humans could truly be terrible to each other. Then I got an idea.
“Wait, what if I show you?”
He looked up at me confused.
“What do you mean?”
“Like, with my perfect heaven. You've only ever seen the bad side of humans. You're actually wired to see the bad. Like you said before, it's literally your job to judge people and give them what they deserve. But there's two sides to a coin. You always seem the bad. Why not see the good. I lived long enough to actually experience some things in life. I've only ever gone to a concert once. But when I was there, I felt like I was in the moment. And the stars feel like that too. There's so many screaming fans that want you to succeed. So many people that want to see you smile and be successful. So many people that's behind you and want to see you rise to the top. I want to see you as a star. I want to see you actually shine the way that you deserve to. You, and the rest of the boys. If you really say your music is that good. Let's put it to the test.”
I could see a faint blush on his face. He just stared at me, then he started to pout to himself.
“I don't even know what a concert looks like. So how am I supposed to put it in your perfect heaven?”
I smirked at him.
“Just look through my mind again.”
He looked at me bewildered.
“I thought you said not to do that. You said it gives you a headache and makes you nauseous and dizzy.”
“It does, but you need to see what a concert looks like, right? So you can copy it and join me in my perfect heaven as the star. So I'll let you look through my memories again. So you can find it.”
He crossed his arms and started to pout again.
“Well you're gonna have to describe it to me. So I know what I'm looking for. I don't wanna be poking around in your brain and you end up throwing up because I was in there too long.”
“Oh, okay, well, a concert is where a lot of people gather to watch someone play music and songs. What it looks like, is a lot of people gather in one place and watch one or more people on stage, perform their songs and dances, and usually people are screaming and chanting their names, and waving around light sticks and stuff like that. Trust me, you'll know when you'll find it. Just to narrow it down. I was twenty when I saw that concert. So you can look around that time frame.”
He sighed and looked at me.
“Okay, But tap me if I'm going too far.”
He gently grabbed me and made me look at him. I always feel like their eyes went so deep that they were looking into my soul. Which in retrospect, that's definitely what they were doing. His eyes started to glow and I started to feel dizzy. He didn't stop staring at me until he blinked once and looked away. I put my hand on my head and rubbed it slightly.
“Did you find what I was talking about?”
He sighed.
“Yes, but I don't really understand. Isn't this supposed to be your perfect heaven?. Is this what you really want? It isn't supposed to be for me? It's supposed to be for you.”
I crossed my arms.
“Yes, I really want this. I want to show you how beautiful people can really be. How people can come together. I promise you won't regret this.”
He sighed and smiled at me.
“Okay, but can you give me until tomorrow? I want to study what I saw. So I can do this properly. I want to make this perfect for you.”
I smiled brightly at him.
“Of course. Take all the time you need. In the meantime, I'm going to be getting ready for JK's concert.”
He laughed out loud at that.
“Okay, okay, well, you're definitely gonna get lost on the way back. So I'll snap you to your room. I'll come and get you tomorrow when I'm ready. Deal.”
“It's a deal.”
I said excitedly. He shook his head looking fondly at me. Before I could say anything else. He snapped his fingers and suddenly green fire surrounded me. The next thing I knew, I was back in my room. I was too excited to sleep. I couldn't wait to hear him sing again. Couldn't wait to hear what he came up with. I couldn't wait to see how he interpreted the concert. I just hope that he did it in a way where I can show him how earth is beautiful and not everyone is bad. I want him to take my one good experience, and turn it into a good experience for the both of us.
When I woke up the next day, I looked through my closet to find something to wear. Something that screamed fangirl. Something that said that I was here supporting him. I wanted to look my best. It took me two hours to pick out an outfit. I finally settled on a black silk bodysuit with shoulders cut out. Platformers, and a denim skirt. I put a mini bag to go with it. I was still getting ready when I heard sounds coming from behind me. I looked and a door had conjured behind me. It had his name on it in cursive. I closed my lipstick and just stared at the door for a bit. It started to crack open slightly. I was a bit skeptical, but I knew that he wasn't going to hurt me or even wanted to.
I felt butterflies in my stomach as I started to push open the door and walk in. As I did, the door shut behind me and disappeared. It startled me, but I started to walk forward. Everything looked dark until a flash of light came into focus and I saw lights in the distance. As I walked, the black turned into grass and then a huge stadium. It wasn't exactly dark, but it seemed to be midday and getting dark for summer hours. It looked exactly like it looked like when I first entered that concert. When I was twenty. I could already hear people screaming from inside. When I walked into the concert hall, there were so many people that I couldn't even see anything.
The stage was so far away from me that I was afraid that I wasn't going to be able to see him. But out of nowhere, somebody walked up to me and grabbed my hand. I looked up and it looked like just a random guy wearing a stage crew outfit. He grabbed my hand gently and started to lead me through people. As he was leading me to the front of the stadium, he handed me a piece of laminated paper. It said JK's concert list. He must have done all his research. I assume that everything on this list were the songs that he was going to be playing.
“My time.”
“Euphoria.”
“My you.”
“Still with you.”
“Dreamer.”
“Stay alive.”
And there were plenty more songs on that list.
“Come with me ma'am, you're in the VIP area.”
He led me all the way to the front of the stage where he put me on top of a metal plate that was protruding from the ground. He then gestured to someone else that was on the stage and the platform actually moved up a bit. So I could see the stage better.
“Enjoy your show ma'am.”
He screamed over dozens of other people. My stomach was filled with butterflies. As I was right in front of the stage. Before he left, he handed me earphones to protect my ears when it got too loud. I looked around at my surroundings, and it truly looked like a real concert. I didn't know if the people were sinners or just allusions, but I didn't care. This felt so real. I was so busy looking at the scenery, that I didn't notice that the people started screaming louder. When I did, I finally looked back at the stage and there he was.
I was taken back by how good he looked. His hair was long and wavy, he was wearing a red outfit with black streaks going through it, and a cheetah and zebra print shirt underneath. It was open so I could see his chest perfectly. He had a headset attached to his head as he walked out. When he saw me. he smiled at me. A stage crew member tapped my leg to get my attention. When I looked down, he was holding a light stick that was shaped like a bomb. When I looked back at the crowd, everyone was holding them too. It flashed all sorts of colors. When I looked at it, the light stick was blank. I thought it was missing something. Like a logo that said who he was.
But then he started singing. Once again, I was mesmerized. He looked like he truly belonged up there. Like he was always made to be a star. His voice was beautiful. His dances were captivating. He had more stage presidents than I've ever seen in my entire life. I felt like I screamed so loud that my voice was going to be gone when morning came. But I didn't care. I was having so much fun. I didn't know any of the songs, but I felt like I could memorize them in a day. They're going to be stuck in my head for a long time. I didn't know how much time had passed or how long the show was. But it had to be at least 2 to 3 hours. I could already point out my favorites. I knew “Euphoria”, and “My time” was going to be stuck in my head.
Before the last song went off, the platform started to get lowered down. I was a little confused, but someone from the stage crew grabbed me and started to lead me underneath the stage. He started to lead me up the stage.And by the time that we were there, I was behind the stage. Watching him perform the rest of the song. Once he was finished, he bowed and waved to everyone happily. As soon as he came back from the stage, I immediately wrapped my hands around him and jumped into his arms. He laughed and hugged me so tight. He even spun me around.
“You did so fucking amazing out there.”
He barked a laugh out.
“Ohh man, I didn't know that you could cuss.”
“Well, how was it? How did you feel?”
I said excitedly.
“It was so amazing. I thought everyone's eyes were on me. Even if they weren't real. I felt like I was on the top of the world. I felt like that I've always belonged there. Thank you, so much, for giving me this opportunity. I can't believe a real concert can actually feel that way. Especially when you're the artist. Somehow, I felt nervous even though I knew the people weren't real. But you, watching me. Made me feel even more nervous. I'm so glad you love the show.”
After he finished talking, he looked a little sad. He started not to look me in the eye.
“What's wrong. I thought you loved it.”
I caressed his face.
“I did, I loved all of it, but it didn't feel complete. Like, I don't belong on the stage alone. The whole time I was thinking of my members.”
I smiled at him fondly.
“You're members.”
He looked shocked at himself, then he smiled.
“Yeah, my members, my family, my brothers. I was thinking of them the entire time. I actually had told them what you wanted, and they were super excited and told me that I should definitely go for it, and even allow me to sing the songs that they wrote pacifically, for me. Like Suga wrote “Stay alive”. I sang that thinking about him the entire time.”
He looked at the light stick that I was still holding. He grabbed it from me.
“And just because of you, you got us thinking about our passion again and dreams for a while. We kind of forgot about it. But ever since you came around, we've been thinking about it more. That's why I was in the music room. We even had a band name and a fan base name.”
Suddenly the light stick changed to have a logo on it. That's red “BTS”. I looked confused.
“BTS?”
“Yes, BTS. It means Bangtan Sonyeondan, Bulletproof Boy Scouts and Beyond the Scene. It means we're bulletproof, we're unbreakable, nothing can break us. We have the world on our shoulders. Because we literally do. If it wasn't for us, the world would have been in shambles by now. It means so much to us. We'll never go down and we're united as one front that will never shatter under pressure. It felt amazing performing like that. But I know it would be even better if I was performing with all of them.”
I wrap my arms around him.
“I would love to see all of you perform together. I know you guys will be amazing. Even if it's just a one person show. I will be screaming the loudest.”
He smiled so sweetly.
“I knew you were special.”
He caresses my face. He looked at my lips. I could tell that he was. I saw him. I looked at him too. I felt my eyes fluttering close. Before he could close the distance. I stopped him.
“I'm sorry, we can't.”
He sighed.
“Yeah, I knew you would do that. Jimin told me you turned him down too. I knew it was a long shot. I just don't know. You make the group feel complete sometimes. You make me feel more than me just being my sin.”
We both started to sit against the wall. We sat in silence for a bit. The screaming crowd died down by a lot. I knew he probably made the crowd disappear after the cartons closed. Then he finally asked a question.
“Would you ever see yourself being with someone that is envious like me?”
I answered him immediately.
“I don't think you're envious. I think you're a perfectionist that happens to have a jealousy problem. Maybe even a little possessive. But who doesn't love a caring partner. As long as you're not smothering, you know.”
He nodded his head.
“Was there anyone envious of you that you knew about?”
That's a question that I had to think about. Was there anyone envious of me in my life at one point. I really couldn't think of anything. But then I remembered something.
“I'm not sure if she was envious. But there was this girl in my last year of high school. She transferred there and she started to target me immediately. She was really pretty, and hell as funny actually. We had a lot in common too. I felt like we would have been really good friends, maybe even best friends if she didn't treat me like garbage. But I didn't like her because she was so mean to me. She didn't do it to anyone else but me. It's like, I wasn't even bullied in high school until she got there. She made my last year a living hell for no reason. I don't know why she did it. But maybe it was because she was jealous of me. But I really wouldn't know why. I wasn't really that special in high school. I had average grades, an average face, average everything. But when she got there, she was pretty, talented, and stayed at the top of our class when she got there. So I don't know why she really targeted me. I honestly wish I knew. She was a real bitch though.”
JK nodded his head.
“Do you remember her name?”
I look to the sky as I thought.
“I think her name was… Na-rae.”
When I looked at him, his eyes looked like they were bulging out of his head. Like he was surprised by what I said. I started to get confused.
“Like… Mun Na-rae.”
Now I look shocked at him.
“Yeah…, do you know her?”
He looked back down at the floor.
“She died like five years ago.”
I looked even more shocked.
“What, she was like a few months younger than I am. How is she dead?”
He started to get visibly sadder.
“You know how I said that there's only a rare few occasions where I think that someone didn't do enough to deserve a fate like this, and was just dealt a bad hand in life. She is one of them.”
I felt like I was getting more shocked by the minute.
“Well, are you going to explain to me why?”
He sighed and nodded his head.
“I can't show you her soul record physically because only Namjoon has the power to do that. But I can tell you everything about her. Once we see a soul record, we can never forget them. And she is one of the people that I always go back to. Actually, ever since I saw it, I can't stop seeing it. Because, at the end of the day, it's not fair.”
He took a deep breath.
“Mun Na-rae was born in North Korea. So her life was already up to a bad start. You already know how terrible it is over there. When she was twelve, her and her family tried to escape. But tragically, she's the only one that actually made it out. To the day she died, she never knew what happened to the rest of her family members. She had a mom, a dad, and two brothers, and a sister too. After that, she was alone. She was too young to live on her own, and she didn't have any physical records because she was a North Korean deficit. So she started living in a orphanage and stayed there until she was fourteen. When she was fourteen, she found herself a job working at a small coffee shop. She lied on the application just to get it. While she was there, she met a man who offered her an internship at a firm where she will make more money. She took it without hesitation. Not knowing that this man would make her life worse. As she worked there, he started advancing on her. She was young and stupid, so she didn't notice that he was grooming her. Eventually, she agreed to live with him. Because she had nowhere else to go. No family to go to, nowhere to sleep. She couldn't stay in the orphanage either. Because she was going to age out soon. That's when he started a sexual relationship with her. She had to do things with him every day. Just to stay in his house. Then, when she got to high school, it got worse. She started developing and getting a body. It made him more ravenous. To make things even worse, the first few years of her high school were awful. A group of girls started bullying her because she was conventionally really pretty. They did way worse things to her than she ever did to you. They burnt her, through metal at her, through her stuff in sinks, ponds, and water fountains. At one point, she couldn't tell which bruises were from the man, or the girls that were torturing her at school. Eventually, she begged the man to let her change schools. And he did. While in her new school, she vowed not to be treated the way that those other girls treated her. Plus, she was having a terrible time where she lived, so she had to take her anger out on someone. It so happened to be you. I'm not saying that she's in the right, and she had no right to be a bully to you like the way that she did. But I see why she would target you. I actually can pinpoint the exact moment she decided to bully you.”
“Really.”
“Yeah, she was waiting in the rain for the man to come pick her up like he always did. He was two hours late that day. You were at a club, so you were still in school. When you came outside. Your mother, your sister, and your brother were all in raincoats to come pick you up. You looked so happy with your family and got to go home to a warm meal and a safe house. While she didn't even have club activities, and she was still waiting for this man that was most likely going to touch her again when she got home. Plus, you look similar to her. So most likely, she could see herself in you. The life that you were living, she wanted, even if it was a simple and quiet life, it was better than what she had. Her resentment and jealousy started right then and there.”
I looked down at the floor.
“Wow, I never knew.”
“Yeah…, you wouldn't know. She never wanted anyone to know. She didn't want people to pity her or be embarrassed that this was happening to her in her life. That's not the only thing either. After she graduated high school and turned eighteen. He ended up marrying her and things just got worse. She could never go out by herself. She couldn't have a job or a career. She stayed in the house all day being basically a house slave. She even got pregnant twice. The first time, he forced her to get an abortion. The second time, when she refused to do it again. He threw her down to the basement and locked her down there for 3 days. When she finally was allowed up. She started bleeding everywhere the next day. She lost the baby. That experience left so much scarring, that her uterus wasn't savable, and they ended up taking it out with the rest of the fetus. Even though she wanted to be a mother, she could never have kids. Then, she finally came up with an escape plan. She was almost out. All she had to do was wait for the only friend that he let her have in contact with to pick her up late at night. But he figured it out, and they had a huge argument. She tried to fight back, but it was already too late. He had pushed her down two flights of stairs, and on the last one, she broke her neck. He had killed her. Then she ended up in my care. I think she got to hell because of the actions she did in high school. Tell me, did you ever have any thoughts of suicide when she was bullying you?”
I paused visibly, then I looked down at the ground again.
“Yeah… I thought about it once. But then I realized how stupid that would be because my life was actually really good besides her bullying me. I also realized that I didn't have to see her after this last year. So it was a stupid thought.”
He nodded his head again.
“Yeah…, that would do it. It only takes one thought of suicide from her actions to make someone to actually do it. Resulting in her going to hell. Even though you didn't, it's still unacceptable for her to get under your skin that bad for you to even have a thought like that. Plus, she was basically a prisoner after that. So she couldn't do anything to redeem herself. Maybe if she actually just simply apologized to you, she would have ended up in heaven. But she never got the chance to. It's a darn shame too. The reason why she looks so pretty and good at school was because she wanted to be a makeup and hair artist. But she always practiced on her sister and mom, with the little resources they had when she had them. She was always hurt in some type of way. So she used her talent of doing hair and makeup to cover up her scarring as much as she could. So by the time she was in high school, she was basically an expert at it. That's what she really wanted to do. But she never got the chance. Every time I think about her, I feel emotional. She doesn't belong down here. I'm sure Jin already said this to you. But you know that we don't believe in eternal suffering. Like, you're not alive forever, so why should you suffer for eternity. It's just not fair. Especially if her crimes only consist of a year of bullying and being jealous. We do try to give appropriate time of suffering to the appropriate crimes. I know someone in Suga's possession is serving a 1000 year sentence. But, then again, people that have that long of a sentence are guaranteed to turn into a parasite so…”
I scooted closer to him and I put my head on his shoulder.
“That's so messed up. I never knew. I feel so bad now. It makes me feel like that one thought damned her to this.”
He rubbed my head.
“Don't feel that way, it's not your fault. She shouldn't have ever been bullying you in the first place. She really should have just been friends with you. Maybe you even would have gotten a chance to save her. You seem like the type of person that would. Plus, heaven has no remorse or second chances for anyone. I honestly think that they be more heartless than us demons sometimes. I think the most fucked up thing about this is that she's actually a really nice person. No matter how much she went through. She tried to stay positive until she got to her last year of high school. I think that's why I check on her so much. I don't want her to turn into a parasite. Cause she doesn't deserve that fate. I wish I could just think of a way to bring you and her to heaven. So you too can be happy and live out the rest of your days in paradise. Even though I don't like heaven very much. It's still way better than being down here. I never admitted this to anyone, but she's actually the only other woman that's heard me sing.”
I looked up at him. I squinted my eyes at him.
“Don't tell me you're pulling a Jimin?”
He laughed again.
“I can't believe Jimin actually told you about that. No, no, well… I don't know. I just don't think it's fair. You know, when she got in my possession, she was ready to take any punishment for eternity. She said how worthless she is, and that she just deserves to die over and over again. I still had to punish her. So I only gave her a year of what she put you through, and it was basically nothing to her. Because she's been through way worse. After I told her that her sentence was over, and that she could basically just sit in solitude If she wanted, or I could give her some things to do. She told me that she deserves to be alone. I couldn't just sit there and let her do that to herself. She was going to turn into a parasite just because of her hatred for herself. So, I started to come around and be nice to her because she deserved it. She didn't really respond to anything I did until I was singing something to myself. And she actually looked up at that. She said my voice was beautiful and that it soothed her. So every once in a while I would go to her hell and sit with her and just sing while she laid on me. She wouldn't request anything of me, but I would give her things because I think she deserves it. She's like the most well behaved sinner I have. So her hell looks way different than everyone else's.”
“I see.”
I knew this was a crazy request. But I wanted to do it. I knew I would probably get a no, but I had to see if he would let me.
“Can you bring her here? I want to talk to her.”
He looked at me like I was crazy.
“You serious, no way.”
I pouted at him.
“Come on, please. Jin brought sinners up when he took me out on a date.”
“Yeah… but, that turned out terrible. You realize the girl tried to kill you, right? That wasn't a good idea.”
I crossed my arms.
“Well yeah, but this will be very different. We both know that she's harmless. And she doesn't actually want to hurt anyone. She's just broken.”
He sighed.
“Yeah, but I don't know how she's going to react to you.”
I also sighed.
“Can we at least try. I really wanna talk to her.”
“Why do you wanna talk to her so bad anyway.”
“I don't know, I guess, I want to apologize to her for not noticing how bad she was hurting. If i'm being honest, if anyone would have noticed, she could have been saved before this. And yet, she slipped through the cracks and now ended up here, because she let her anger out on me. Looking back on that whole experience, I actually didn't have it as bad as other people did when she was bullying me. Other people did way worse like you told me with those other girls who were bullying her. The extent of her bullying just made me feel worthless. She didn't hit me, or even ever throw stuff at me, or put her hands on me. She just said things that made me feel like I was nothing. And I want to tell her that I'm sorry. That we both deserve better than this.”
JK looked up at me.
“I'm so glad you are a forgiving person. She could really use a friend.”
At that moment, he got up and both of his hands started to glow. Then, in a few minutes, he made a door appear in front of us. He looked back at me.
“Stay here. I'm going to go get her.”
He opened the door and went inside. I didn't know how much time passed, but it felt like an hour. After a few more minutes of me just kicking my legs, the door finally opened. I snapped my head to the door and immediately got up to stand up straight. When I finally saw him again. He was holding a girl's hand. It was definitely her. Even in a disheveled state, I still thought that she was one of the prettiest girls that I've ever seen. As soon as she saw me, she started crying. Like, full on balling her eyes out. She fell to her knees and bowed to me.
“I-l'm s-sorry.”
I felt myself tearing up. I got onto my knees and started to hug her really tightly. She hugged me back as I hugged her.
“I forgive you. You should have just been my friend. I would have helped you. I'm so sorry that you went through everything that you did. You don't deserve it.”
She continued to apologize to me. JK just stood back as we hugged each other. He ended up getting us some water to calm down. After she officially stopped crying, I finally got to talk to her properly. She basically just started reiterating herself that she was so sorry for treating me like garbage. That she was just upset that she didn't have the life that I had. I reassured her that I forgave her and that she doesn't deserve to live in the afterlife like this. JK sat next to both of us.
“So… what do we do now?”
He asked. Neither one of us said anything. Then I got an idea. I grabbed her hands and made her look at me.
“Do you want to see JK perform live?”
Her eyes lit up at that statement.
“R-really.”
She looked at him like a kicked puppy. He plastered a big smile on his face. He stood up and took both hands.
“Come on, I don't mind doing the show all over again.”
So that's what he did. He played it all over again and I was so happy, dancing and singing next to her. She wasn't as enthusiastic next to me. But she seemed happy. I even thought that I saw a genuine smile on her. After the show was over. We hung around and talked for a bit. I watched as he hugged her and said that he'll come visit her very soon. I also said that I wanted to see her again and even have a girl's night. Then he escorted her back. Afterwards, he brought his hand out to me. I grabbed it, looking at him fondly. He conjured a door, and when he opened it, we were back in the castle together. We held hands as we walked to my room, and talked. When he brought me in front of my door. He brought my hand up to his lips and kissed my knuckles.
“Do I have the pleasure of coming in tonight and keeping you company?”
I giggled and raised an eyebrow at him. I pulled my hand away.
“Nice try hot shot.”
He laughed and rubbed the back of his head. Before he gave me a cheeky smile.
“Well, don't worry princess. I am the sin of Envy. So I'm very persuasive. If anything, I'm going to be the first one to see you in those panties.”
I gasped and smacked his arm. He recoiled away while laughing.
“Good night JK.”
He stepped back and bowed to me like he was a prince.
“Please, call me Kookie. I will definitely be spending more time with you in the near future. Until then.”
He said it in a dramatic way like all his antics. But as he did, green fire consumed him and he disappeared right in front of me. I shook my head and walked into my room. I was actually exhausted from everything. I laid in my bed and started to hug my pillow. Now that all the excitement has died down. I started to really think. I didn't want to leave anymore. I didn't want to leave Na-rae, or Kookie, or any of them for that matter. This revelation really started making me dread the day that Namjoon gets in contact with the angels…Seven sins of my virtue
Chapter five: The sin of Envy
Work text:
Walking around the castle got easier. I didn't know the entire layout, but I was getting used to being around. Usually, I would try to stay in my room. So I would stay out of the other's way. I knew that they were busy doing their jobs. So I didn't want to be a burden to anyone. But more often than not, they would try to seek me out anyway. Of course, It was due to the fact that all of them wanted to give me my perfect heaven. And I was never upset about this. It actually made me quite happy that they wanted me to be around. Since I didn't have many friends in my living life. Today, I was quite bored and wanted to actually find someone to talk to. And maybe even look around the castle more.
So I left my room. And I started to walk around the castle. I was walking around for about ten minutes and no one has shown themselves to me yet. Usually around this time, I would actually see someone. Doing something even if they're busy. So I started to actively look for someone to talk to. When I peeked my head into a room, I saw Namjoon sitting at a desk. He looked like he was doing paperwork. I was going to walk in when he noticed me. He smiled but then said that I wasn't allowed in. I accepted that and bowed to him. He gave me an apologetic smile before going back to his papers.
I was really bored at this point and wanted to talk to anyone. Then I spotted Taehyung. He had a clipboard while there was a door in front of him. It had his name on it in cursive, so I knew it was a door to his realm. I tried to walk up to him without him noticing, but he already sensed my presence.
“Hi Y/N, what can I do for you?”
“Oh, you already noticed me. I don't know, I guess I was just wondering if we could hang out or something.”
He gave me a sympathetic look.
“I'm sorry, I can't. I really have to finish my work. Hey, maybe you can wait for me and then I can try to give you your perfect heaven. But you might be waiting a while.”
I side.
“That's okay. What are you doing anyway?”
“Ohh, I'm doing my soul count. We only do it once every human year.”
I tilted my head.
“Soul count?”
Yes, a soul count. It's when you count all the souls that reside in your realm. You see which ones you had gained, and which ones you lost. A lot of souls that reside in the realms end up turning into a parasite later. So we always have to count to make sure which ones we have left. It's never in a zack number since so many come each day and so many get turned into parasites. So it's usually just a close estimate.”
Parasites, I didn't really know much about them. But I did want to learn more. I knew that parasites were sinners that had no remorse, empathy or no desire to change. So their corruption literally turns them into monsters. But I don't know much about them or actual sinners in general.
“Hey, Taehyung.”
He didn't turn to me.He just kept writing things in his clipboard. But I can tell he was listening.
“Hum… you know, you can call me Tae, or V right? I would prefer that.”
“Right, sorry, Tae… Can I ask you a question?”
He continued to write things down.
“You can ask me a question, but that doesn't mean I'm obligated to answer.”
I pouted at him. Sometimes I really didn't like how indecisive or vague they were with answers.
“I was just curious about parasites.”
He finally perked up and looked back at me. His eyes felt like ice looking at me.
“What about them.”
“Ohh... well, I, uhh… I was just curious about them. Like why do you guys fight them?”
He stared at me with a blank expression. Before turning back to the door and starting to write stuff down again.
“It's kind of a silly question, isn't it. But I guess you don't know, but I would think that it's pretty obvious. You yourself already encountered them. As you can tell, they're very dangerous. You see, if we don't get rid of parasites, they can seep into the human world and cause mayhem without people even knowing. We punish sinners to show them what they did was wrong. We don't punish them because we want to. We punish them because we have to. If we don't, there's a good chance that they'll never see the error of their ways and turn into those monsters. But some people are just monsters and will never see the error of their ways. So they'll turn into them anyway. No feelings, no remorse, no nothing, just intent to harm people. Parasites are the true demons. Parasites are so dangerous that they find their way out to anything that's happy or living. That's why they got into your perfect heaven. They want to destroy happiness and beauty and make it crumble. If they get too strong, they can break into the human world. So we had to dispose of them before that happens.”
That was a lot of information to take. But I was still curious about a few things.
“Had they ever escaped to earth before.”
He sighed.
“All the time, but since we police them so much. There's way less going into the world than there should be. Them being there literally breaks human minds. Make people do things that they will never actually do. Make people see hallucinations for everything. For example, let's say, a man was a family man and always loved his family and never did anything wrong. Then, a parasite snuck into his house and sank there way into his mind. Slowly, but surely he started changing. He started drinking more, going out more, doing things that he knew he shouldn't be doing, hitting his children and his wife. Eventually doing something so bad that he ends up killing one of them and he goes to jail for it. If it wasn't for that parasite, that would have never happened. That parasite literally changed his perspective to be a completely different person. And sometimes, certain types of parasites can make you do certain types of things. Like if you are parasite, that came from the Lust realm. It may turn you into a chronic cheater, or if that parasite was a murderer in their life. It might turn someone into a murderer themselves. That's why we have to make sure that we keep them under control and keep as many of them off of earth as possible. That's why we need to do a count every year. We need to know how many people have changed into parasites, because we can't actually police them all. Some of them do slip through the cracks. And that's why there are some on earth. We don't want that.”
I started to look sad at the floor. That was definitely a lot to deal with. Back on earth, science and medicine explains why people have psychotic breaks out of nowhere. It can be due to extreme amounts of stress or something that's weighing on your mind. But what he just explained explains a lot on why people can have a psychotic break out of nowhere. To think that it might actually be demons on earth and making people go mad and do things that they wouldn't actually do is terrifying. I didn't say that out loud. But I could tell that he knew what I was thinking.
“Hey, I'm still working. I have to finish my count. Maybe you should actually go talk to JK. He actually can give you your perfect heaven. He's completely free.”
I looked up at him.
“I thought you said everyone was busy. Doing their count.”
“I did, but JK already finished his count and he is free.”
“Really.”
I tilted my head and he started to chuckle.
“Yeah, JK is a perfectionist. He has to be the best at everything and he usually is. It's actually a product of him being the sin of Envy. If he's not better than everyone, then he'll get jealous and angry. The only thing that he doesn't get jealous about is when it comes down to us other sins. He knows he can't do our jobs better than he can do his own job. So it doesn't make him feel that way. But he does have to be better in everything else. He even mastered cooking, just to be better than Jin. That's why he got his count done so early. So he could be ahead of everyone else. I'm not saying this to say that he's a bad demon or that he thinks he's better than all of us. It's just the way he's wired, because of his sin. You know, Jimin is more lustful than all the rest of us because of his. And RM will never admit when he's wrong because he's too prideful. It's just how it works.”
I nodded my head.
“I get that, so where can I find him?”
He smiled at me.
“Just walk down this hallway and follow the sound of singing. You'll find him.”
I bow to him.
“Thank you.”
He waved goodbye as I started to walk away. I did as he said, and just walked straight down the hallway. I thought I was walking forever. The hallway twisted and turned but I never took any other directions. I was too scared to get lost. But then I heard it. An angelic voice. It was something that I've never heard in my entire life. I followed the sounds and it led me to a big room. When I pushed open the door, there he was. Sitting on the top of a ledge, singing a song while playing a guitar. The room was filled with all sorts of musical instruments and had a huge stained glass window. The lighting hit him so perfectly that it made him look ethereal as he sat up there and sang.
“Your voice is beautiful.”
I walked in, clasping my heart like he was taking my breath away. He looked at me and continued to sing while starting to float down from the edge. He let go of the guitar, but the guitar was still strumming something as he did. He grabbed me by my hands and started to pull me closer to him. He pulled me close to his body and started to waltz me around the room. I swear my stomach started turning into knots. Nothing felt real as he sang and played beautiful music in the background. He was never off key, always to the beat, and never let his voice pitch in tone. By the end of his chorus. He had waltzed me all the way over to a chair where there was coffee and snacks. He started to pour me some as I just sat there, still shocked, by how beautiful his voice was.
“Your voice is truly amazing.”
He just smiled as he sat down and started to drink his coffee.
“That was nothing. We all can do that. I would say I might be the best singer out of all of us though.”
I smiled at him.
“So is that why you guys have this huge room.”
He smiled looking around the room.
“Yes, we've never been to earth, but we know what goes on down there. We still can't believe that humans evolve so much that they made a way to express themselves in such a beautiful way. We loved this expression so much that we all decided to take it up ourselves. We're really good at it too. It's amazing what the seven of us can do together. I honestly can talk about this expression for hours. It makes us feel so happy and warm inside. It makes this place feel less dull than it actually is.”
I smile softly.
“Music is truly beautiful.”
He looked at me.
“Is that what this is called, music?”
I looked visibly shocked.
“You didn't know that's what it is called. Yes, music, I seriously thought someone as old as you would know everything.”
He looked a bit sheepish.
“Well honestly, I wish I knew everything. But just like you, were trapped here, we can't leave, and we do our jobs endlessly. The only reason why we figured out about music was through people's soul records. That's how we know what some things look like and what are some things called? But not everything. A lot of the stuff that we know is just pieced together with memories and information that we get from other people's minds. But I honestly love it so much. It is something that none of us can live without. It's sort of like a forever passion for us. That's why we have so many things in this room that can make beautiful sounds.”
I smiled.
“What do you know about music?”
He looked at me and got up and walked over to the piano in the corner. He sat down and started to play.
“A lot, but we actually don't know a lot of the technical terms. Like, I know that all these things in this room are called instruments, but I never knew the term of what instruments make, which is music, and I don't even know what this instrument is called.”
I got a big smile on my face.
“You want me to tell you.”
His eyes looked like they were shining.
“You would do that for me.”
“Of course. What you're sitting at is a piano, and the thing that you were strumming earlier was a guitar. And there's so many other things too. Like over there is a violin, and that's a base. Right there is drums, and that's a soundboard, and it looks like you even have a whole recording studio in here. It looks like you guys have all the setup to actually start making music together.”
He started to blush and got a bit embarrassed.
“Well yeah, as I told you, we all picked it up as a passion. We don't know what happened. But one day it just started all clicking. Like a lot of soul records have so many beautiful sounds and noises, and we all started getting attracted to it. We started to conjure up what the things look like and started keeping it in this big room. Since this room was always empty. Even Suga started putting words and phrases together that sounded great and soon, RM and J-Hope joined him and we would sing together what they wrote.”
I sat at the piano with him.
“It sounds like Yoongi is a lyricist, and so is Namjoon and Hoseok. I bet you guys make amazing music together. I know earth would just love to hear you guys play and write songs. Just by that little bit that you showed me. I was almost brought to tears.”
He had a wide smile on his face before it faltered and he started to stare down at the piano. I noticed immediately.
“What's wrong?”
He's side.
“Thank you for all your kind words. But earth doesn't deserve to hear something as beautiful as what we can do.”
I looked visibly shocked.
“Why?”
“Because I witnessed it. Humans will take anything beautiful or kind or magnificent and crush it simply because they are bitter and jealous. You can be the nicest person in the world and share your gift with everyone. In return, someone, or a group of people will still try to bring you down even if you did nothing wrong. They spread rumors, drag your name through the mud, torch It, and burn it down to the ground. Just because they are jealous of what you can give and provide. And that's not even the worst part, even if people don't do that. Everyone always asks for more, pushing someone over the edge. Just because they can't churn out something fast enough. It's quite tiring being a human and having to deal with so many selfish people. I do wish that we could share what we learned with others. But I'm completely content in just sharing it with you and my brothers. I don't want to see their faces be crushed because some measly humans didn't like how it sounded or were so taken in by it, that they wanted to take it for themselves.”
I just looked at him. I couldn't even blame him for thinking that way. Because in the end, he was right. Completely right actually. Someone can start a rumor and people would run with it even if it isn't true. Your career can be ruined in an instance just by someone being jealous of you and wanting to ruin your life. He's definitely seen it all being the embodiment of Envy himself.
“But you know that not everyone is like that, right?”
He chuckled softly.
“I know, but I only get to see the people who are. I'm the embodiment of Envy, remember. My job is to judge people. So I only get to see how terrible people really are. I never get to see the good souls, like you. But I've seen enough to know that someone could say that they're your friend, your family, your companion, and lie straight to your face and stab you in the back when it's the most convenient to them. I've seen it happen countless times. Humans are stupid enough to fall for it every time too. That's why there's so many sinners and parasites. It's only been on a rare occasion where I truly feel bad for someone for being down here. Where I feel like they didn't do enough to deserve a fate like this, and was just dealt a bad hand in life.”
I looked sad at the piano. Everything he was saying was true. There was nothing that I really could argue with. Humans could truly be terrible to each other. Then I got an idea.
“Wait, what if I show you?”
He looked up at me confused.
“What do you mean?”
“Like, with my perfect heaven. You've only ever seen the bad side of humans. You're actually wired to see the bad. Like you said before, it's literally your job to judge people and give them what they deserve. But there's two sides to a coin. You always seem the bad. Why not see the good. I lived long enough to actually experience some things in life. I've only ever gone to a concert once. But when I was there, I felt like I was in the moment. And the stars feel like that too. There's so many screaming fans that want you to succeed. So many people that want to see you smile and be successful. So many people that's behind you and want to see you rise to the top. I want to see you as a star. I want to see you actually shine the way that you deserve to. You, and the rest of the boys. If you really say your music is that good. Let's put it to the test.”
I could see a faint blush on his face. He just stared at me, then he started to pout to himself.
“I don't even know what a concert looks like. So how am I supposed to put it in your perfect heaven?”
I smirked at him.
“Just look through my mind again.”
He looked at me bewildered.
“I thought you said not to do that. You said it gives you a headache and makes you nauseous and dizzy.”
“It does, but you need to see what a concert looks like, right? So you can copy it and join me in my perfect heaven as the star. So I'll let you look through my memories again. So you can find it.”
He crossed his arms and started to pout again.
“Well you're gonna have to describe it to me. So I know what I'm looking for. I don't wanna be poking around in your brain and you end up throwing up because I was in there too long.”
“Oh, okay, well, a concert is where a lot of people gather to watch someone play music and songs. What it looks like, is a lot of people gather in one place and watch one or more people on stage, perform their songs and dances, and usually people are screaming and chanting their names, and waving around light sticks and stuff like that. Trust me, you'll know when you'll find it. Just to narrow it down. I was twenty when I saw that concert. So you can look around that time frame.”
He sighed and looked at me.
“Okay, But tap me if I'm going too far.”
He gently grabbed me and made me look at him. I always feel like their eyes went so deep that they were looking into my soul. Which in retrospect, that's definitely what they were doing. His eyes started to glow and I started to feel dizzy. He didn't stop staring at me until he blinked once and looked away. I put my hand on my head and rubbed it slightly.
“Did you find what I was talking about?”
He sighed.
“Yes, but I don't really understand. Isn't this supposed to be your perfect heaven?. Is this what you really want? It isn't supposed to be for me? It's supposed to be for you.”
I crossed my arms.
“Yes, I really want this. I want to show you how beautiful people can really be. How people can come together. I promise you won't regret this.”
He sighed and smiled at me.
“Okay, but can you give me until tomorrow? I want to study what I saw. So I can do this properly. I want to make this perfect for you.”
I smiled brightly at him.
“Of course. Take all the time you need. In the meantime, I'm going to be getting ready for JK's concert.”
He laughed out loud at that.
“Okay, okay, well, you're definitely gonna get lost on the way back. So I'll snap you to your room. I'll come and get you tomorrow when I'm ready. Deal.”
“It's a deal.”
I said excitedly. He shook his head looking fondly at me. Before I could say anything else. He snapped his fingers and suddenly green fire surrounded me. The next thing I knew, I was back in my room. I was too excited to sleep. I couldn't wait to hear him sing again. Couldn't wait to hear what he came up with. I couldn't wait to see how he interpreted the concert. I just hope that he did it in a way where I can show him how earth is beautiful and not everyone is bad. I want him to take my one good experience, and turn it into a good experience for the both of us.
When I woke up the next day, I looked through my closet to find something to wear. Something that screamed fangirl. Something that said that I was here supporting him. I wanted to look my best. It took me two hours to pick out an outfit. I finally settled on a black silk bodysuit with shoulders cut out. Platformers, and a denim skirt. I put a mini bag to go with it. I was still getting ready when I heard sounds coming from behind me. I looked and a door had conjured behind me. It had his name on it in cursive. I closed my lipstick and just stared at the door for a bit. It started to crack open slightly. I was a bit skeptical, but I knew that he wasn't going to hurt me or even wanted to.
I felt butterflies in my stomach as I started to push open the door and walk in. As I did, the door shut behind me and disappeared. It startled me, but I started to walk forward. Everything looked dark until a flash of light came into focus and I saw lights in the distance. As I walked, the black turned into grass and then a huge stadium. It wasn't exactly dark, but it seemed to be midday and getting dark for summer hours. It looked exactly like it looked like when I first entered that concert. When I was twenty. I could already hear people screaming from inside. When I walked into the concert hall, there were so many people that I couldn't even see anything.
The stage was so far away from me that I was afraid that I wasn't going to be able to see him. But out of nowhere, somebody walked up to me and grabbed my hand. I looked up and it looked like just a random guy wearing a stage crew outfit. He grabbed my hand gently and started to lead me through people. As he was leading me to the front of the stadium, he handed me a piece of laminated paper. It said JK's concert list. He must have done all his research. I assume that everything on this list were the songs that he was going to be playing.
“My time.”
“Euphoria.”
“My you.”
“Still with you.”
“Dreamer.”
“Stay alive.”
And there were plenty more songs on that list.
“Come with me ma'am, you're in the VIP area.”
He led me all the way to the front of the stage where he put me on top of a metal plate that was protruding from the ground. He then gestured to someone else that was on the stage and the platform actually moved up a bit. So I could see the stage better.
“Enjoy your show ma'am.”
He screamed over dozens of other people. My stomach was filled with butterflies. As I was right in front of the stage. Before he left, he handed me earphones to protect my ears when it got too loud. I looked around at my surroundings, and it truly looked like a real concert. I didn't know if the people were sinners or just allusions, but I didn't care. This felt so real. I was so busy looking at the scenery, that I didn't notice that the people started screaming louder. When I did, I finally looked back at the stage and there he was.
I was taken back by how good he looked. His hair was long and wavy, he was wearing a red outfit with black streaks going through it, and a cheetah and zebra print shirt underneath. It was open so I could see his chest perfectly. He had a headset attached to his head as he walked out. When he saw me. he smiled at me. A stage crew member tapped my leg to get my attention. When I looked down, he was holding a light stick that was shaped like a bomb. When I looked back at the crowd, everyone was holding them too. It flashed all sorts of colors. When I looked at it, the light stick was blank. I thought it was missing something. Like a logo that said who he was.
But then he started singing. Once again, I was mesmerized. He looked like he truly belonged up there. Like he was always made to be a star. His voice was beautiful. His dances were captivating. He had more stage presidents than I've ever seen in my entire life. I felt like I screamed so loud that my voice was going to be gone when morning came. But I didn't care. I was having so much fun. I didn't know any of the songs, but I felt like I could memorize them in a day. They're going to be stuck in my head for a long time. I didn't know how much time had passed or how long the show was. But it had to be at least 2 to 3 hours. I could already point out my favorites. I knew “Euphoria”, and “My time” was going to be stuck in my head.
Before the last song went off, the platform started to get lowered down. I was a little confused, but someone from the stage crew grabbed me and started to lead me underneath the stage. He started to lead me up the stage.And by the time that we were there, I was behind the stage. Watching him perform the rest of the song. Once he was finished, he bowed and waved to everyone happily. As soon as he came back from the stage, I immediately wrapped my hands around him and jumped into his arms. He laughed and hugged me so tight. He even spun me around.
“You did so fucking amazing out there.”
He barked a laugh out.
“Ohh man, I didn't know that you could cuss.”
“Well, how was it? How did you feel?”
I said excitedly.
“It was so amazing. I thought everyone's eyes were on me. Even if they weren't real. I felt like I was on the top of the world. I felt like that I've always belonged there. Thank you, so much, for giving me this opportunity. I can't believe a real concert can actually feel that way. Especially when you're the artist. Somehow, I felt nervous even though I knew the people weren't real. But you, watching me. Made me feel even more nervous. I'm so glad you love the show.”
After he finished talking, he looked a little sad. He started not to look me in the eye.
“What's wrong. I thought you loved it.”
I caressed his face.
“I did, I loved all of it, but it didn't feel complete. Like, I don't belong on the stage alone. The whole time I was thinking of my members.”
I smiled at him fondly.
“You're members.”
He looked shocked at himself, then he smiled.
“Yeah, my members, my family, my brothers. I was thinking of them the entire time. I actually had told them what you wanted, and they were super excited and told me that I should definitely go for it, and even allow me to sing the songs that they wrote pacifically, for me. Like Suga wrote “Stay alive”. I sang that thinking about him the entire time.”
He looked at the light stick that I was still holding. He grabbed it from me.
“And just because of you, you got us thinking about our passion again and dreams for a while. We kind of forgot about it. But ever since you came around, we've been thinking about it more. That's why I was in the music room. We even had a band name and a fan base name.”
Suddenly the light stick changed to have a logo on it. That's red “BTS”. I looked confused.
“BTS?”
“Yes, BTS. It means Bangtan Sonyeondan, Bulletproof Boy Scouts and Beyond the Scene. It means we're bulletproof, we're unbreakable, nothing can break us. We have the world on our shoulders. Because we literally do. If it wasn't for us, the world would have been in shambles by now. It means so much to us. We'll never go down and we're united as one front that will never shatter under pressure. It felt amazing performing like that. But I know it would be even better if I was performing with all of them.”
I wrap my arms around him.
“I would love to see all of you perform together. I know you guys will be amazing. Even if it's just a one person show. I will be screaming the loudest.”
He smiled so sweetly.
“I knew you were special.”
He caresses my face. He looked at my lips. I could tell that he was. I saw him. I looked at him too. I felt my eyes fluttering close. Before he could close the distance. I stopped him.
“I'm sorry, we can't.”
He sighed.
“Yeah, I knew you would do that. Jimin told me you turned him down too. I knew it was a long shot. I just don't know. You make the group feel complete sometimes. You make me feel more than me just being my sin.”
We both started to sit against the wall. We sat in silence for a bit. The screaming crowd died down by a lot. I knew he probably made the crowd disappear after the cartons closed. Then he finally asked a question.
“Would you ever see yourself being with someone that is envious like me?”
I answered him immediately.
“I don't think you're envious. I think you're a perfectionist that happens to have a jealousy problem. Maybe even a little possessive. But who doesn't love a caring partner. As long as you're not smothering, you know.”
He nodded his head.
“Was there anyone envious of you that you knew about?”
That's a question that I had to think about. Was there anyone envious of me in my life at one point. I really couldn't think of anything. But then I remembered something.
“I'm not sure if she was envious. But there was this girl in my last year of high school. She transferred there and she started to target me immediately. She was really pretty, and hell as funny actually. We had a lot in common too. I felt like we would have been really good friends, maybe even best friends if she didn't treat me like garbage. But I didn't like her because she was so mean to me. She didn't do it to anyone else but me. It's like, I wasn't even bullied in high school until she got there. She made my last year a living hell for no reason. I don't know why she did it. But maybe it was because she was jealous of me. But I really wouldn't know why. I wasn't really that special in high school. I had average grades, an average face, average everything. But when she got there, she was pretty, talented, and stayed at the top of our class when she got there. So I don't know why she really targeted me. I honestly wish I knew. She was a real bitch though.”
JK nodded his head.
“Do you remember her name?”
I look to the sky as I thought.
“I think her name was… Na-rae.”
When I looked at him, his eyes looked like they were bulging out of his head. Like he was surprised by what I said. I started to get confused.
“Like… Mun Na-rae.”
Now I look shocked at him.
“Yeah…, do you know her?”
He looked back down at the floor.
“She died like five years ago.”
I looked even more shocked.
“What, she was like a few months younger than I am. How is she dead?”
He started to get visibly sadder.
“You know how I said that there's only a rare few occasions where I think that someone didn't do enough to deserve a fate like this, and was just dealt a bad hand in life. She is one of them.”
I felt like I was getting more shocked by the minute.
“Well, are you going to explain to me why?”
He sighed and nodded his head.
“I can't show you her soul record physically because only Namjoon has the power to do that. But I can tell you everything about her. Once we see a soul record, we can never forget them. And she is one of the people that I always go back to. Actually, ever since I saw it, I can't stop seeing it. Because, at the end of the day, it's not fair.”
He took a deep breath.
“Mun Na-rae was born in North Korea. So her life was already up to a bad start. You already know how terrible it is over there. When she was twelve, her and her family tried to escape. But tragically, she's the only one that actually made it out. To the day she died, she never knew what happened to the rest of her family members. She had a mom, a dad, and two brothers, and a sister too. After that, she was alone. She was too young to live on her own, and she didn't have any physical records because she was a North Korean deficit. So she started living in a orphanage and stayed there until she was fourteen. When she was fourteen, she found herself a job working at a small coffee shop. She lied on the application just to get it. While she was there, she met a man who offered her an internship at a firm where she will make more money. She took it without hesitation. Not knowing that this man would make her life worse. As she worked there, he started advancing on her. She was young and stupid, so she didn't notice that he was grooming her. Eventually, she agreed to live with him. Because she had nowhere else to go. No family to go to, nowhere to sleep. She couldn't stay in the orphanage either. Because she was going to age out soon. That's when he started a sexual relationship with her. She had to do things with him every day. Just to stay in his house. Then, when she got to high school, it got worse. She started developing and getting a body. It made him more ravenous. To make things even worse, the first few years of her high school were awful. A group of girls started bullying her because she was conventionally really pretty. They did way worse things to her than she ever did to you. They burnt her, through metal at her, through her stuff in sinks, ponds, and water fountains. At one point, she couldn't tell which bruises were from the man, or the girls that were torturing her at school. Eventually, she begged the man to let her change schools. And he did. While in her new school, she vowed not to be treated the way that those other girls treated her. Plus, she was having a terrible time where she lived, so she had to take her anger out on someone. It so happened to be you. I'm not saying that she's in the right, and she had no right to be a bully to you like the way that she did. But I see why she would target you. I actually can pinpoint the exact moment she decided to bully you.”
“Really.”
“Yeah, she was waiting in the rain for the man to come pick her up like he always did. He was two hours late that day. You were at a club, so you were still in school. When you came outside. Your mother, your sister, and your brother were all in raincoats to come pick you up. You looked so happy with your family and got to go home to a warm meal and a safe house. While she didn't even have club activities, and she was still waiting for this man that was most likely going to touch her again when she got home. Plus, you look similar to her. So most likely, she could see herself in you. The life that you were living, she wanted, even if it was a simple and quiet life, it was better than what she had. Her resentment and jealousy started right then and there.”
I looked down at the floor.
“Wow, I never knew.”
“Yeah…, you wouldn't know. She never wanted anyone to know. She didn't want people to pity her or be embarrassed that this was happening to her in her life. That's not the only thing either. After she graduated high school and turned eighteen. He ended up marrying her and things just got worse. She could never go out by herself. She couldn't have a job or a career. She stayed in the house all day being basically a house slave. She even got pregnant twice. The first time, he forced her to get an abortion. The second time, when she refused to do it again. He threw her down to the basement and locked her down there for 3 days. When she finally was allowed up. She started bleeding everywhere the next day. She lost the baby. That experience left so much scarring, that her uterus wasn't savable, and they ended up taking it out with the rest of the fetus. Even though she wanted to be a mother, she could never have kids. Then, she finally came up with an escape plan. She was almost out. All she had to do was wait for the only friend that he let her have in contact with to pick her up late at night. But he figured it out, and they had a huge argument. She tried to fight back, but it was already too late. He had pushed her down two flights of stairs, and on the last one, she broke her neck. He had killed her. Then she ended up in my care. I think she got to hell because of the actions she did in high school. Tell me, did you ever have any thoughts of suicide when she was bullying you?”
I paused visibly, then I looked down at the ground again.
“Yeah… I thought about it once. But then I realized how stupid that would be because my life was actually really good besides her bullying me. I also realized that I didn't have to see her after this last year. So it was a stupid thought.”
He nodded his head again.
“Yeah…, that would do it. It only takes one thought of suicide from her actions to make someone to actually do it. Resulting in her going to hell. Even though you didn't, it's still unacceptable for her to get under your skin that bad for you to even have a thought like that. Plus, she was basically a prisoner after that. So she couldn't do anything to redeem herself. Maybe if she actually just simply apologized to you, she would have ended up in heaven. But she never got the chance to. It's a darn shame too. The reason why she looks so pretty and good at school was because she wanted to be a makeup and hair artist. But she always practiced on her sister and mom, with the little resources they had when she had them. She was always hurt in some type of way. So she used her talent of doing hair and makeup to cover up her scarring as much as she could. So by the time she was in high school, she was basically an expert at it. That's what she really wanted to do. But she never got the chance. Every time I think about her, I feel emotional. She doesn't belong down here. I'm sure Jin already said this to you. But you know that we don't believe in eternal suffering. Like, you're not alive forever, so why should you suffer for eternity. It's just not fair. Especially if her crimes only consist of a year of bullying and being jealous. We do try to give appropriate time of suffering to the appropriate crimes. I know someone in Suga's possession is serving a 1000 year sentence. But, then again, people that have that long of a sentence are guaranteed to turn into a parasite so…”
I scooted closer to him and I put my head on his shoulder.
“That's so messed up. I never knew. I feel so bad now. It makes me feel like that one thought damned her to this.”
He rubbed my head.
“Don't feel that way, it's not your fault. She shouldn't have ever been bullying you in the first place. She really should have just been friends with you. Maybe you even would have gotten a chance to save her. You seem like the type of person that would. Plus, heaven has no remorse or second chances for anyone. I honestly think that they be more heartless than us demons sometimes. I think the most fucked up thing about this is that she's actually a really nice person. No matter how much she went through. She tried to stay positive until she got to her last year of high school. I think that's why I check on her so much. I don't want her to turn into a parasite. Cause she doesn't deserve that fate. I wish I could just think of a way to bring you and her to heaven. So you too can be happy and live out the rest of your days in paradise. Even though I don't like heaven very much. It's still way better than being down here. I never admitted this to anyone, but she's actually the only other woman that's heard me sing.”
I looked up at him. I squinted my eyes at him.
“Don't tell me you're pulling a Jimin?”
He laughed again.
“I can't believe Jimin actually told you about that. No, no, well… I don't know. I just don't think it's fair. You know, when she got in my possession, she was ready to take any punishment for eternity. She said how worthless she is, and that she just deserves to die over and over again. I still had to punish her. So I only gave her a year of what she put you through, and it was basically nothing to her. Because she's been through way worse. After I told her that her sentence was over, and that she could basically just sit in solitude If she wanted, or I could give her some things to do. She told me that she deserves to be alone. I couldn't just sit there and let her do that to herself. She was going to turn into a parasite just because of her hatred for herself. So, I started to come around and be nice to her because she deserved it. She didn't really respond to anything I did until I was singing something to myself. And she actually looked up at that. She said my voice was beautiful and that it soothed her. So every once in a while I would go to her hell and sit with her and just sing while she laid on me. She wouldn't request anything of me, but I would give her things because I think she deserves it. She's like the most well behaved sinner I have. So her hell looks way different than everyone else's.”
“I see.”
I knew this was a crazy request. But I wanted to do it. I knew I would probably get a no, but I had to see if he would let me.
“Can you bring her here? I want to talk to her.”
He looked at me like I was crazy.
“You serious, no way.”
I pouted at him.
“Come on, please. Jin brought sinners up when he took me out on a date.”
“Yeah… but, that turned out terrible. You realize the girl tried to kill you, right? That wasn't a good idea.”
I crossed my arms.
“Well yeah, but this will be very different. We both know that she's harmless. And she doesn't actually want to hurt anyone. She's just broken.”
He sighed.
“Yeah, but I don't know how she's going to react to you.”
I also sighed.
“Can we at least try. I really wanna talk to her.”
“Why do you wanna talk to her so bad anyway.”
“I don't know, I guess, I want to apologize to her for not noticing how bad she was hurting. If i'm being honest, if anyone would have noticed, she could have been saved before this. And yet, she slipped through the cracks and now ended up here, because she let her anger out on me. Looking back on that whole experience, I actually didn't have it as bad as other people did when she was bullying me. Other people did way worse like you told me with those other girls who were bullying her. The extent of her bullying just made me feel worthless. She didn't hit me, or even ever throw stuff at me, or put her hands on me. She just said things that made me feel like I was nothing. And I want to tell her that I'm sorry. That we both deserve better than this.”
JK looked up at me.
“I'm so glad you are a forgiving person. She could really use a friend.”
At that moment, he got up and both of his hands started to glow. Then, in a few minutes, he made a door appear in front of us. He looked back at me.
“Stay here. I'm going to go get her.”
He opened the door and went inside. I didn't know how much time passed, but it felt like an hour. After a few more minutes of me just kicking my legs, the door finally opened. I snapped my head to the door and immediately got up to stand up straight. When I finally saw him again. He was holding a girl's hand. It was definitely her. Even in a disheveled state, I still thought that she was one of the prettiest girls that I've ever seen. As soon as she saw me, she started crying. Like, full on balling her eyes out. She fell to her knees and bowed to me.
“I-l'm s-sorry.”
I felt myself tearing up. I got onto my knees and started to hug her really tightly. She hugged me back as I hugged her.
“I forgive you. You should have just been my friend. I would have helped you. I'm so sorry that you went through everything that you did. You don't deserve it.”
She continued to apologize to me. JK just stood back as we hugged each other. He ended up getting us some water to calm down. After she officially stopped crying, I finally got to talk to her properly. She basically just started reiterating herself that she was so sorry for treating me like garbage. That she was just upset that she didn't have the life that I had. I reassured her that I forgave her and that she doesn't deserve to live in the afterlife like this. JK sat next to both of us.
“So… what do we do now?”
He asked. Neither one of us said anything. Then I got an idea. I grabbed her hands and made her look at me.
“Do you want to see JK perform live?”
Her eyes lit up at that statement.
“R-really.”
She looked at him like a kicked puppy. He plastered a big smile on his face. He stood up and took both hands.
“Come on, I don't mind doing the show all over again.”
So that's what he did. He played it all over again and I was so happy, dancing and singing next to her. She wasn't as enthusiastic next to me. But she seemed happy. I even thought that I saw a genuine smile on her. After the show was over. We hung around and talked for a bit. I watched as he hugged her and said that he'll come visit her very soon. I also said that I wanted to see her again and even have a girl's night. Then he escorted her back. Afterwards, he brought his hand out to me. I grabbed it, looking at him fondly. He conjured a door, and when he opened it, we were back in the castle together. We held hands as we walked to my room, and talked. When he brought me in front of my door. He brought my hand up to his lips and kissed my knuckles.
“Do I have the pleasure of coming in tonight and keeping you company?”
I giggled and raised an eyebrow at him. I pulled my hand away.
“Nice try hot shot.”
He laughed and rubbed the back of his head. Before he gave me a cheeky smile.
“Well, don't worry princess. I am the sin of Envy. So I'm very persuasive. If anything, I'm going to be the first one to see you in those panties.”
I gasped and smacked his arm. He recoiled away while laughing.
“Good night JK.”
He stepped back and bowed to me like he was a prince.
“Please, call me Kookie. I will definitely be spending more time with you in the near future. Until then.”
He said it in a dramatic way like all his antics. But as he did, green fire consumed him and he disappeared right in front of me. I shook my head and walked into my room. I was actually exhausted from everything. I laid in my bed and started to hug my pillow. Now that all the excitement has died down. I started to really think. I didn't want to leave anymore. I didn't want to leave Na-rae, or Kookie, or any of them for that matter. This revelation really started making me dread the day that Namjoon gets in contact with the angels…