Chapter Text
A conversation between three time travelers standing in a pond of dream water:
"Looookiiii, how could you?!"
"I would apologize, but I just do not feel the need."
"Yes, you do, otherwise you wouldn't have told us at all. You would have let us fall on the backfoot of their approach."
"You know what, I can make this work. Give us the upper hand in the manner of speaking."
"It seems that I helped."
"No, you did not Key Lime Pie, you just didn't make things irreversibly difficult."
"Loki, no more goading secret agents. Understand?"
"Yes, sir."
"Just show us exactly what you gave her."
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This entire situation is annoying.
SHIELD is supposed to be the best at what they do, the secret, secret agency that keeps the world running and ignorant for its own safety. Spies like Natasha dirty their hands so that innocents don't have to. SHIELD is the best of the best. Except.
Tony Stark's spy agency has been operating under their nose this whole time. If Natasha hadn’t met that suave agent at the Stark-Strange reception and had the man instantly blow her cover, she would have believed the very idea laughable.
However, the possibility is present. SHIELD has had a hard time infiltrating Stark's spaces, and it is not impossible that a billionaire would have both public and private protectors. Or even, as Fury said, for the deceased Howard Stark to have started a perpendicular agency as he helped Peggy Carter build SHIELD. Nothing is impossible, but it all feels improbable.
Tony Stark is an indisputable genius, the weaponry he has made is brilliant work, and SHIELD would do almost anything to get their hands on an Iron Man. But for him to beat them at their own game?
It's been a month since Natasha's encounter with the dark-eyed man, and in that time, SHIELD has found nothing on S.I FEAST, absolutely nothing. Not a single agent, not a base of operations, or even a line of code after they tried hacking the number on the card. Worst yet, Jane Foster and the alien Thor have also disappeared from their radar, most likely due to Stark's influence. So, they are a little desperate to get back on top of this case, to gain control over the wild child that is Anthony Stark.
The top five, as Natasha likes to think of them, Fury, Coulson, Clint, Hill, and herself, have gathered in Fury's secured office. Seated around a table, their attention is concentrated on the innocuous card on the desk.
Natasha was given a grim nod from Fury. At that signal, Natasha showed no hesitation, reaching for the glossy paper and dialing the number on a newly procured brick burner phone.
The speaker phone dialed loudly in the quiet room. The line picked up: "Hello, who am I speaking with?" The voice had a lilting Irish accent of a young female.
Natasha responded with a well-practiced calm, "Hello, I am Natalie Rushman, Key Lime Pie sent me."
The woman on the other line hummed, "I am Tart Blueberry Scone. Are you close to any state or country capitals at the moment?"
Natasha did not look to Fury for permission as she ad-libbed. The Stark-Strange reception was in New York, so... "I can drive to Hartford, Connecticut, in a day or two." The core five were hovering in a Quinjet somewhere above Cuban airspace.
Tart Blueberry Scone, which is, in Natasha's opinion, a terrible name for a spy, hummed again. "Get to Hattie Jay's diner at the center of Hartford within the next three days. Ask the waitress for Dark Cherry Jamboree, she will reveal the next steps."
The line cut off, and the dial tone echoed loudly. The group waited patiently for Natasha to turn off the line and double-check that no spyware was installed through any back channels. Natasha set the phone down.
"You know, asking which state capital she can reach implies that they have at least one representative in every state." Clint started them off.
Coulson countered, "Or just like us, they are ready for fast travel. If it were every state, we would have found something."
Placatingly, Hill added her voice, "Are we sure this isn't a joke, Key Lime Pie, Tart Blueberry Scone, and Dark Cherry Jamboree? This could all be nothing, but a joke."
Clint made a motion to reply, but Fury cut them all off as he stood, "We don't have much of a choice. We need to get to the bottom of why Stark has stayed one step ahead of us for so long. Now, let's turn this ship around."
-------------------
Natasha failed the test. I mean, how could she have prepared for a freaking human lie detector? She was out the moment she said her name was Natalie Rushman.
Despite her anger, they have moved on to plan B.
Plan B is Janette Kwan, new to the agency's roster, but top of her class at Fort Worth. She is as cookie-cutter as they come and not yet stained by the work SHIELD does. Hopefully, she is 'innocent' enough to bypass suspicion. Natasha resists the urge to roll her eyes.
Maria has finished setting up the hack into Hattie Jay's camera system to watch Janette enter the diner.
As a born-and-bred Black Widow, Natasha can't imagine this green agent would make for a better double agent, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
Working with Maria, Clint adjusts the microphone that Janette is unaware she is wearing (can't lie about something you don't know about), and they all settle down in the van parked a few blocks away to watch Janette enter.
"H-Hi, I'm Janette. I'm here to speak with Dark Cherry Jamboree?"
The waitress smiles and leads her to the same corner booth that was used before, and Janette settles in to wait.
Four minutes later, an older lady approached. The agent Dark Cherry Jamboree is actually Hattie Jay Jones, owner and head cook of the diner that may or may not be being used as a front for Stark Industries. Although this establishment started when Stark was ten, when did the partnership begin?
The plump, dark-skinned woman, unironically wearing a dark cherry apron, sat across from Janette and simply smiled.
The women stared at each other for a minute or so; the same thing happened with Natasha, but she did not break as she could see Janette about to.
"Hi, I am Janette Kwan. Are you Dark Cherry Jamboree? I was referred by Tart Blueberry Scone..." She trailed off a little awkwardly, but probably more genuinely than Natasha could manage.
Hattie smiled, a great, wide grin that could set even the surliest child at ease, and reached out her hands across the table. This was the step Natasha failed; she leaned forward in her seat closer to the camera, as did they all.
Janette, a bit anxious, moved out to grab Hattie's offered palms, but the lady repositioned them. Right hand to right arm, left hand to latch onto the pulse point of Janette's left wrist- they were entangled above the table. There were no wires on Hattie's arms or any listening devices they could see in her ear, so how was she doing it? Where did Tony Stark find an Inhuman before they did? How does he even know they exist?
"Alright, dear, we are getting started. You can't lie to me from now on. Understand?" Dark Cherry Jamboree waited for the verbal agreement. "Tell me your name again."
"My name is Janette Kwan." Stated like a school presentation.
The response was a motherly hum, "That's not quite true, is it?"
Breaths were held. Natalie Rushman failed this question, and Natasha Romanov was also perceived as a liar, but that was the only two names Natasha would give, and so she failed the first question. She had never failed so badly without a client actually dying.
"Umm, well, my given name is Jang-Geum Kwan, but so many people pronounce it wrong, so.. you know." Slightly embarrassed, Janette ducked her head, which sent a little feedback back to the mic.
"Jang-Geum, like the physician Dae Jang-Geum?" A statement of curiosity.
A returned excitement, "Yes! How do you recognize that?"
"I love Jewel in the Palace, a wonderful series. Between my Korean, Spanish, and Italian dramas, I am quite the worldly woman."
They laughed together, starting a conversation about the random television show they had watched. Natasha wanted to throw a knife at the screen, but at least the mission was going well.
"Okay, okay, back on track," The women got their giggles in order. What followed was a standard corporate interview, very boring to watch. Coulson was the only one taking notes on the most interesting information leaks: SI FEAST was everywhere, mostly in state and country capitals in various types of dining establishments. The agency's missions are mostly local, and not international, and very few agents were in contact with one another. Whatever Stark was doing, he kept it low-key enough that SHIELD couldn't find it.
After questions like, ‘Where do you see yourself in five years?’, Hattie pulled Janette forward. They were both scrunched across the table, the watchers leaned forward as well, and listened as their mic picked up the hushed words.
"There is a second division within S.I FEAST for those who can do more." Hattie's voice was a hushed whisper.
"More-e?" Janette’s nerves were back. Natasha rolled her eyes at her stutter.
Hattie clarified, "Everyone gets the secondary name and the occasional mission, but a few with a position in the Cornucopia are the ones that get to travel beyond their local area, affecting change a little more... directly." Hattie looked down at their still latched hands before looking back up, evaluating, "I think you would be a good candidate for it. It gets you a position close to Stark White Apron and The Head Chef. Maybe you'll meet Key Lime Pie again."
Janette nodded eagerly, which is good if you can't lie, then say nothing.
Hattie straightened and unentangled herself from Janette, "Well, Jang-Geum, you have passed the first test” -unheard sighs of relief, well, Janette's was heard- “I will be contacting Tart Blueberry Scone, she will call you up for your second and last test, to see which part of the organization you fit in. Well Done. Can I offer you a pie for the road?"
The ending goodbyes were not worth paying attention to, and those in the van started strategizing together.
Fury began, "Janette does best in ignorance, so we keep the mic and cameras without telling her."- There was agreement- "We should plan for as many contingencies for whatever this test could be."
"Yeah, it seems like S.I FEAST is a low-level information network, and it's this Cornucopia that has the true spies. What do you think, corporate espionage maybe?" Clint jumped in.
Natasha threw in her two cents, "Stark White Apron and The Head Chef, you think that's Stark and Strange respectively? The first name is a bit obvious."
The van door opened, startling agents who pretended otherwise. Janette's bright smile appeared with a pecan pie in hand, "How did I do for my first mission? Oddly, very much like a job interview."
The core five pivoted the conversation; infiltrating an up-and-coming private intelligence organization was an intricate process.
---------------
"Hey, Boss, the fly is caught in our trap." FRIDAY's voice sounded out, interrupting the equation being solved, but Tony could multitask.
Immediately, Tony accessed and listened to the short call between Natasha and FRIDAY, also known as Tart Blueberry Scone. Untrusting, he checked that nothing was left behind in his system, and no hacking lines were created at the end of that call. He smiled.
After Loki's warning, Tony had been admittedly annoyed, but it turned out to be a great opportunity to get to certain people on his side before SHIELD could. Within a month's time, and with a vast amount of his private funds, many so-called Inhumans were pulled out of undesirable situations, and many good-natured vigilantes were given the resources and network support group to better serve their neighborhoods.
Tony didn't stop there. S.I FEAST became something like a secret grant system. He found people in their communities already feeding the needy, fostering the abandoned, and fighting for equity and opportunity, and gave them some bolstering financial aid and a cool nickname.
For the 'Inhumans' (there must be a better name, and Enhanced was wishy washy) and other agents of superpowered abilities, Tony and Stephen created the Cornucopia (basically to make sure that Loki couldn't take all the credit). Many agents were either in the newly refurbished Montana compound, learning from the more experienced and healing from trauma, or studying magic at Kamar-taj.
When Thanos comes, there will be a large team of trusted and capable people ready to take him down.
-
Natasha failed because, of course, she did. The way Ms. Hattie had explained it, Natasha would have failed because she could see the lie on the spy's body language pouring out like miasma; the name thing was the real first and final straw.
Hilarious. (Tony will keep a simple guard system around Hattie just in case SHIELD tries anything.)
The appearance of a new SHIELD tryout was unsurprising, and from everything he could find on Jang-Geum 'Janette' Kwan, she would make a good fit for the Cornucopia. SHIELD should be making moves with the Tesseract by now; Tony could put her on the team to mitigate the damage to civilian lives when the unknown 'Children' of Thanos make their way there.
She first has to get past Banana Nut Bread; afterward, Stark White Apron would be very happy to meet her.
----------------
Chapter 1 of tea with jam and bread happens here.
---------------
The second test passed in a flash.
Tart Blueberry Scone had put her in contact with Banana Nut Bread, and the man simply wanted some help transferring some sensitive documents. It almost felt like a joke mission.
The most exciting part of the whole ordeal was the brief ten-minute gap when they believed some of the paperwork had been misplaced. Thankfully, rectifying the error had been simple enough, and Jang-Geum remaining calm under pressure was all the qualifications she needed. It was the kind of work an entry-level banker would complete in half an hour, and all that has led her to this moment.
Jang-Geum followed Banana Nut Bread, also known as Harold ‘Happy’ Hogan (that man has too many nicknames), to stop at an innocuous side door shaped much like a janitor's closet.
"To be clear," Mr. Hogan began in his gruff tone, "you have already been accepted into S.I FEAST, this final door will decide your name and position within it. As a piece of advice, choose carefully." With a final roll of his eyes, he opened the door with a key and let Jang-Geum walk through.
Unknown to her, two listening devices and a camera hidden within her clothing lost connection once she stepped through the threshold.
Jang-Geum actually had to gasp when she beheld the space larger on the inside than outside. There were at least twenty tables laden and weighted down by food from all over the world. She could see plates of mainly desserts, but there were some savory dishes. Though nothing was separated by any obvious methodology, everything seemed intentionally organized.
Oh, oh, OH, she chooses her agent name based on what food she takes.
Jang-Geum took a subtle look around; there were no mirrors or cameras she could see, but someone was definitely watching, so she had to look confident. Natasha has been trying to drill that idea into her, but overt confidence was not her natural state.
She begins her march down the aisles, spying lots of her culinary favorites, but nothing she is willing to be named after. Until she almost passes Tteok, or as the signage explains, a sweet rice cake; it looks so similar to what her grandmother used to make. Jang-Geum can already smell the comforting spice of her childhood home and feel strong, worn hands press the dessert into her palm.
Those memories are from a simpler time before she lost herself in academics and assimilation. A time before she felt like she had to wear a mask on who she was, and further to join an agency only spoken of in whispers, to prove something (prove it to who?).
Her hand reached for the Tteok. She wanted to remember the flavor, the satisfying bite, and scent; her hand paused inches away. There was no scent.
Jang-Geum looked around in rapid, fearful confusion. An entire conference room holding hundreds of food options, and the room smelled like cold air and dust. She looked back at her chosen snack and gingerly placed her finger onto a plate that fizzled out of existence at her touch. "Is this fake? Not plastic fake, but how?"
A door once flush with the wall opened behind her, and a deep voice resounded, "Welcome to the Cornucopia."
Jang-Geum spun to face the new person in the room and had her jaw drop at the face of Doctor Stephen Strange.
He did not react to her surprise. "You will have to forgive the dramatics; it was my husband's idea." With a raised hand and a gesture, the tables of fake food vanished, and with another movement, a plate of sweet-smelling Tteok appeared in his hand like magic.
"Sweet Rice Cake, a good choice. Do you need a moment to sit down?” He held the plate out to her, and she accepted with some anxiety; her confusion had not abated. “I admit when Tony was first goaded into this plan by Loki, I thought they were being oddly ambitious, with our already too full schedules. But it has done a lot of good so far, and I see a great future for this agency."
What followed was an explanation: the formation of SI FEAST and the Cornucopia was so silly, and the work they do sounded satisfying, and magic was real! Fairytales were true, and the perfect job landed in Jang-Guem's lap, but...
Dr. Strange, also known as The Head Chef, was explaining where Jang-Geum would be going next, Nepal or Montana, maybe.
Jang-Geum had to interrupt, "I was sent by another agency to be a double agent. SHIELD to be exact." The words were blurted without finesse, and she cringed back for the reaction.
The man simply smirked, "We know. It doesn't matter what they want, only what you want. So would you like to join us and help save the world?"
----------------
"Janette, what the fuck happened? We lost contact with your signal. Explain what is going on in there?" Fury's voice was barely level, but everything they did to try to reestablish a connection after Janette had entered the room (which they also couldn't locate on the building's blueprints) was useless.
The core five simply had to wait.
She answered lazily, "Oh yeah, The Head Chef said something about a protection ward. I can't wait to learn what that means."
Unlike many other times, Janette didn't seem cowed by the aggression from Fury. Maybe it was just the distance, Natasha couldn't tell exactly what had changed until she could read the girl's body language.
"Come join us and tell us every detail," A command from Coulson, one that brooked no hesitation and was to be followed without delay.
"Ah, yes." The girl cleared her throat, "I would like to thank SHIELD for the time and effort it has put into my training, but I have decided to pursue other career opportunities."
Fury balked, "Are you fucking kidding me, Janette? What kind of double agent gets turned immediately? Get your ass out of there. We are NOT done."
Natasha would have been so much better. Janette would have failed out and died in the Red Room.
"My name is Jang-Geum. Please don't bother looking for anything I left behind; apparently, it will find its way back to me. Maybe you should be checking SHIELD's database for those double-agents. I will see you again, probably, ask for Sweet Rice Cake." She hung up the line, and Fury broke the burner in anger.