Chapter Text
He was starting to believe Alhaitham really was a Disney princess. Kaveh literally woke up to the soft, melodic sound of birds chirping outside the window—not the obnoxious kind that made you want to throw a shoe, but the peaceful, movie-like kind. The kind that made him feel like he should be stretching gracefully in bed, singing out his morning routine and petting the pet deer in his room as he got ready for the day.
For a brief, delirious moment, Kaveh actually wondered if he’d wake up to see Alhaitham twirling around the room, serenading a flock of sparrows while they helped him pick out his clothes. It would explain his ridiculously good posture and the way his hair always looked annoyingly perfect no matter the hour.
Kaveh groaned, burying his face into the nicest pillow he had ever slept on.
This is so unfair.
Even Alhaitham’s morning ambiance was superior.
But, whatever. He only lent his room to him for the night, and clearly, it was daytime which meant Kaveh needed to leave before Alhaitham woke up.
That was when he felt it.
Alhaitham’s arm was wrapped snugly around his waist, weaving under his arm. His fingers splayed out against Kaveh’s bare skin, underneath his hoodie. His hand was warm, resting just over his chest, rising and falling with each slow breath. Alhaitham’s own, naked chest was pressed against Kaveh’s back, leaving no room between them, especially when his leg was flung over Kaveh’s hip.
What the hell.
He was stuck. Pinned beneath Alhaitham’s ridiculous weight, his entire body engulfed in warmth that wasn’t his own. He barely even dared to breathe, terrified that any sudden movement might make things worse.
How the fuck did this even happen. He remembered falling asleep half off the bed, making sure not to invade into Alhaitham’s space. Alhaitham even sacrificed one of his pillows to create a barrier between them.
Okay. No big deal. Alhaitham was always a light sleeper. Maybe, if he nudged him away just a little bit, he’d roll over by himself.
He reached down, fingers brushing against Alhaitham’s wrist, prepared to pry him off—
Only for the arm around his waist to tighten. His hand moved up, grazing Kaveh’s collarbone and lifting his hoodie even further up.
Oh. Oh.
Kaveh held his breath. Alhaitham shifted slightly, head moving closer to Kaveh’s. He could feel Alhaitham’s steady breath on the back of his neck and hell, it gave him goosebumps.
I’m going to die here, Kaveh thought, despair settling in. This is how I go.
Just as Kaveh’s brain was spiraling into full-blown panic mode, the sharp blare of an alarm shattered the silence. It wasn’t just ringing in his head—no, it was real. Alhaitham’s alarm was going off, loud and relentless, vibrating against the nightstand like an executioner’s drum. Why the hell would he put such a demonic noise as his ringtone?
Kaveh barely had a second to process it before Alhaitham groaned low in his throat, shifting behind him. The arm wrapped around Kaveh’s waist flexed briefly before loosening slightly. For one hopeful moment, Kaveh thought he might actually let go. The alarm kept blaring, but Alhaitham showed no signs of actually waking up. What happened to him being a light sleeper?
Kaveh, however, had reached his limit. If Alhaitham wasn’t going to free him willingly, then he’d just have to take matters into his own hands. With a sharp inhale, he gathered his strength, braced his arms against the mattress—And shoved.
Hard.
Alhaitham let out a low grunt as Kaveh successfully wriggled free, tumbling off the bed in a mess of tangled sheets. He hit the floor with an unceremonious thud, groaning as he fell right on his ass.
From the bed, Alhaitham finally stirred, cracking one bleary eye open. He blinked down at Kaveh, still half-asleep, voice thick with grogginess. “Has your hobby changed to analyzing floors now?”
Kaveh shot him a glare, his face flushed with equal parts embarrassment and frustration. “Why were you hugging me all night long?!”
Alhaitham blinked, his brow furrowing in confusion. “I was?”
“Yes, you were! And your arm was all over me! And your leg—”
“Oh.” Alhaitham didn’t seem nearly as horrified as Kaveh had hoped. He just blinked, appearing oddly calm. “Well you did steal the pillow I usually hug.”
Kaveh gawked at him.
“That’s—that’s it?! That’s your explanation? Are you serious?!”
Alhaitham hummed in vague acknowledgment before rolling over, pressing his face into the pillow. “You’re welcome for lending you my bed, by the way. You can thank me by making breakfast.”
Kaveh stood up, jaw on the floor. He was going to kill him.
“You scarred me for life by your clinginess so we’re even. Make it yourself.”
Kaveh stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him with more force than necessary. His pride wasn’t the only thing bruised—his tailbone ached from the fall, and he was soothing it absentmindedly when he looked up…
Only to make direct eye contact with Aether.
Aether’s eyes flicked to Kaveh’s disheveled appearance, his hoodie still slightly lifted. The knowing look on Aether's face shifted into one of mock suspicion. “So... Why are you coming out of his room?”
Aether blinked. Then his gaze flicked down—just for a second—to where Kaveh’s hand was still massaging the sore spot. A slow smirk spread across Aether’s face.
“Actually—never mind.”
Kaveh’s eyes went round as saucers. “What—?! No—!”
Aether was already backing away, hands raised in surrender. “Nope. Nope. I don’t want details. I really don’t need to know.”
Kaveh felt his soul physically leave his body.
“It’s not what you’re thinking, you idiot!”
“Sure, sure,” Aether said, clearly not believing him. “Just make sure to stretch next time, yeah?”
Kaveh’s entire face burned. “I fell! We didn’t have sex!”
Tartaglia opened his door just in time to catch the last bit of the conversation. “Who didn’t have sex?”
His eyes flickered over Kaveh’s disheveled state before his grin widened. “Ohh, you didn’t have sex. Way to go, man.”
Kaveh let out an exasperated groan. “For the last time, I didn’t have sex!”
“What are you so shy for?” Tartaglia nodded knowingly. “Was it that kinky?”
Kaveh threw his hands in the air. “Oh my god.”
From behind him, Alhaitham’s door creaked open. “Can you all shut up?” His voice was hoarse with sleep, and his hair was an absolute mess.
It really didn’t help that he was shirtless.
Tartaglia’s grin turned feral. He pointed between them, walking away to the kitchen in case Kaveh wanted to get physical,
“Oh… Ohhh!!”
Kaveh turned bright red. “NO.”
~~~~~~~
“So your window’s broken?” Wriothesley asked for the fifth time, arms crossed as he leaned against the kitchen counter.
“Yes,” Kaveh deadpanned. “That hasn’t changed since the last time you asked which was 2 minutes ago.”
“And you want to room up with me?”
“Yes and again—that hasn’t changed since the last time you asked me”
Wriothesley sighed, scratching the back of his head. “Sorry bud but I don’t have space, so that’s not an option.”
Kaveh groaned. “So help me find an option!”
Wriothesley glanced around, thinking. “What about Aether? His room’s near yours, so moving your stuff won’t be a hassle.”
Kaveh perked up slightly. “Oh, that’s not a bad—”
“Have you met Kaveh?” Aether cut in from the couch, almost too quick. “Three days and I’m sure he’ll manage to break all my current ceramics.”
Kaveh deflated instantly, but then had an idea, “What about Xiao? I’m sure he wouldn’t mind—“
“It’s his first year in university,” Aether turned back to look at Kaveh, “Don’t ruin it for him.”
The argument could’ve gone on all night if it weren’t for Tartaglia’s sudden, brilliant idea.
“Spin the bottle,” he announced, setting an empty bottle on the table.
Kaveh blinked. “What?”
“Yeah, spin the bottle.” Tartaglia shrugged. “Fate decides your new roommate. No arguments, no complaints. Just pure chance.”
“That is the stupidest—”
“Sounds fair to me,” Wriothesley cut in.
Aether hummed. “It does eliminate bias.”
Tartaglia grinned. “C’mon, Kaveh. Don’t you believe in destiny?”
Kaveh groaned, but at this point, he was too exhausted to argue. “Fine. Whatever.” He grabbed the bottle and gave it a spin.
They all watched as it twirled, the dim kitchen light catching its surface until, finally, it slowed to a stop.
Pointing directly at Alhaitham.
The room went silent.
Kaveh stared.
Tartaglia burst out laughing.
“No,” Kaveh whispered in horror.
“Yes,” Wriothesley grinned.
Alhaitham, who had just walked in, narrowed his eyes. “What?”
Tartaglia wiped a tear from his eye. “Congrats, buddy. You just won a roommate.”
“A new member? But with Kaveh’s bedroom out of commission, we don’t even have enough space—” Alhaitham paused mid-sentence, realization dawning on him like a slow, creeping nightmare.
He turned sharply to the group, eyes narrowing.
“No. I’d rather you just kick him out. Absolutely not.”
Tartaglia snorted. “You figured it out, huh?”
“I am not rooming with him of all people,” Alhaitham said firmly, arms crossing as he shot a glare at Kaveh.
Kaveh scoffed, equally offended. “Oh, trust me, I don’t want to room with you either! I’d rather move out myself!”
“All those in favor,” Alhaitham deadpanned, raising his hand.
“Nobody,” Aether slapped Alhaitham’s hand down, “is moving out.”
“I was motioning to kick him out, but sure.”
“It’ll only be a few nights at best. Besides, you two already shared a bed last night,” Aether pointed out unhelpfully.
Kaveh whirled on him. “That was a life-or-death situation! My window was broken, and I was freezing!”
Neuvillette walked into the kitchen, calm as ever, sliding a cup of coffee to Wriothesley. “Well, considering you two are in the same classes anyway, it’s the most logical arrangement. Less disruption to your schedules, and you won’t have to adjust much.”
Alhaitham turned his glare on him. “That is a terrible reason.”
Wriothesley took a slow sip of his coffee. “It’s only until the window gets replaced. It won’t be that long.”
Tartaglia grinned, nudging Kaveh. “Guess you’re stuck with him, buddy. Maybe you’ll start rubbing off on each other.”
Kaveh groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “I swear, if I start acting like him, just put me out of my misery.”
Tartaglia leaned in closer to Wriothesley, barely holding back his laughter. “One week before Alhaitham’s on the couch?”
Wriothesley scoffed, watching the chaos unfold. “More like Kaveh.”
Tartaglia arched a brow. “Sounds like a bet.”
Wriothesley smirked, tilting his head. “Unless you’re too much of a coward to take it.”
Tartaglia rolled his eyes but extended his hand. “Hope you’re ready to lose.”
Wriothesley clasped his hand firmly. “Hope you like paying for my drinks.”
~~~~~~~
It had only been a few days since the new members moved in but the house had already settled into a comfortable rhythm. Evenings in the house typically comprised of Aether, upstairs, working on his pottery. Ever-so-often, he’d come down and make idle chatter with the others, always leaving the room with lifted spirits.
Tartaglia and Wriothesley preferred spending their days seeking out adventures (a.k.a seeking out free drinks at the tavern), usually coming back home all tipsy and most likely broke.
Xiao was ever the mystery. Sometimes he’d disappear running errands and sometimes he’d disappear in the house itself. It was almost impressive how he’d vanish without anyone even noticing, not that Alhaitham paid him much heed anyways.
Right now would usually be the ideal time for Alhaitham to maximize on his productivity. Whether that was a start on some of his studies or a quick workout, he valued this moment of peace to himself.
But of course, Kaveh being the over-achiever that he is, not only had he made it his mission to move into Alhaitham’s room, but also to impose in any and all zen moments of Alhaitham’s life. Every haul of furniture brought from the upper floor came along with Kaveh’s huffing and puffing like he was the big bad wolf. If he wasn’t breathing like he had just finished an expedition climbing Liyue’s mountains, he’d be wasting his breath on tales and jokes Alhaitham didn’t have the energy to pretend to care about.
How many people had Alhaitham terrorized in his past life to be cursed with this never-relenting godzilla roommate?
“Ugh! I still have so many things to bring,” Kaveh whined, rubbing his temple. “Y’know if you helped me, this would be so much easier.”
“I’m sure it would be.” Alhaitham replied, not taking the bait.
“No like seriously, I’d probably be done shifting everything I need within 30 minutes if I had a hand.”
“You’d probably be done shifting everything you need within 30 minutes if you didn’t need a product for every step of your life,” Alhaitham sighed, lifting himself off the bed.
“Where are you going? Are you going to help me?” Kaveh beamed.
“Yes. Emotional support from the living room.” Alhaitham offered a mocking smile.
“God you are so easily dislikable. I’ll be lucky if I make it out these next few days without a bruise on my personality.”
“I’ll give you the room for an hour and you better be done by then,” Alhaitham headed towards the door. “Please, feel free to rush.”
~~~
The living room was quiet in the way only late afternoons could manage. Sunlight filtered through the curtains in long golden strips, providing enough light for Alhaitham to skim over the notes for his classes. As he turned the corner, he noticed another presence.
As it turns out, Zhongli preferred his leisure in reading—romances, dramas, classics and that too, in the communal area.
Zhongli sat comfortably on the main sofa, one leg crossed over the other, a book resting open in his lap. A porcelain teacup steamed gently on the table beside him.
Peaceful. Annoyingly so.
Alhaitham paused at the hallway entrance.
He had intended to avoid the common areas entirely. Unfortunately, all the functional parts of his room were currently cluttered — by whom, he could only assume.
Left with little choice, he stood his ground and walked in.
Zhongli turned a page with elegant precision. “Good afternoon.”
Alhaitham did not respond immediately. He walked to the armchair opposite the sofa and sat down, movements mechanical.
“Is it?” he replied flatly.
Zhongli’s eyes did not lift from his book. “Time continues to pass at a consistent rate, so I would assume so.”
Silence.
Alhaitham opened his laptop. The clicking of keys filled the room.
A few moments passed before Zhongli spoke again. “You’re typing rather forcefully.”
“And what typing force ratio would you prefer?”
“I am simply observing.”
“You must be quite passionate about your observations if you feel the need to voice them so.”
Silence once again filled the room; or so Alhaitham would have liked. Every couple of minutes, Zhongli would sip on his tea because—of course.
After a particularly long sip, Alhaitham paused flexing his fingers as he tried to avoid becoming irrationally bothered.
Zhongli closed his book gently. “You seem displaced.”
“I’m sitting.”
“Yes. But you don’t wish to be.”
Alhaitham’s gaze flicked up, sharp. “Did your penchant for observations tell you that?”
Zhongli regarded him for a moment. “Your shoulders are rigid. Your jaw has not unclenched since you entered the room. And you have reread the same paragraph three times.”
Alhaitham’s fingers stilled over his keyboard for half a second before continuing. “How diligent of you to monitor me.”
“The room is small,” Zhongli replied mildly. “Your agitation occupies more space than you believe.”
“I am not agitated.”
“Then you are remarkably committed to performing it.”
Alhaitham shut his laptop halfway. Not enough to close it. Just enough to signal irritation. “If you have a point, state it.”
Zhongli tilted his head slightly. “Very well. You entered as though you were conceding territory.”
“I needed the quiet, not that I have been afforded that luxury now.”
“And yet you behave as though I’ve imposed.”
“You assume too much.”
“I rarely assume,” Zhongli said calmly. “I observe. For instance, you chose the chair furthest from the exit.”
Alhaitham’s eyes narrowed. “Proximity to a door has no psychological implication.”
“Of course,” Zhongli murmured. “Anger typically reduces focus. That is likely why you have seen little progress.”
“I am not angry.”
“Are you not?”
“No. I am perfectly—I was perfectly adequate in my concentration.” Alhaitham reverted his attention back to the material at hand.
“Mhm,” Zhongli took a longer sip, eyes never leaving him this time, “So was I.”
Understanding the implication, Alhaitham doubled down.
“I do not have much to type anymore. You may pursue your reading.”
“It seems my cup is near finished as well.” Zhongli offered a thin smile.
“Very well then.”
Alhaitham resumed studying as Zhongli reopened his book.
The room returned to quiet—awkward, but nonetheless, quiet.
~~~~~~~
Kaveh hung up his final shirt in Alhaitham’s closet, taking up more than half the space. Alhaitham surely wouldn’t mind—especially considering the guy owned, what, maybe fifteen shirts total?
Satisfied, Kaveh stepped back to admire his work. Everything was color-coordinated, evenly spaced, and perfectly arranged. A masterpiece.
Then, Alhaitham—ever the barbarian—swooped in and shoved all of Kaveh’s clothes to the side in one careless motion, ruining everything.
“Alright,” Alhaitham said, completely ignoring Kaveh’s horrified gasp. “We need to establish some ground rules if we want to survive this arrangement without murder charges.” He shut the closet doors and turned to face Kaveh. “First rule—stay on your side of the room.”
“First of all,” Kaveh snapped, yanking the closet open again to start reorganizing. “You just butchered my entire system. And second—fine, I’ll stay on my side if you stay on yours.”
“Glad we agree. Same goes for the bed,” Alhaitham added, flopping onto it with zero concern for Kaveh’s ongoing suffering.
Kaveh’s eye twitched. “Well you already broke that rule last night.”
“Debatable. Technically, the bed was still mine then.”
“It’s not—ugh, whatever.“
Alhaitham turned his head to look at him. “Also, lights out at ten.”
“Ten? Do you tuck in at 9:30 and put on Caillou before bed? Or are lullabies more up your alley?”
“Ten is a perfectly adequate time to sleep. Though I suppose for night-dwelling vermin like you, that’s the perfect time to scurry about.”
“Lights on till midnight.”
“It’s my room.”
“It’s our room for now,” Kaveh shot back. “Which means you also don’t get to touch my stuff. No reorganizing, no moving things around, no ‘fixing’ my layout.”
Alhaitham eyed the closet, unimpressed. “You’re wasting both time and space with this arrangement.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry for having a sense of organization—not that you’d know anything about that.”
Alhaitham rolled onto his side, resting his head on one of his (four, the audacity) pillows. “Organization? No, it’s just inefficient.”
Kaveh inhaled sharply, turning to glare at him. “You’re inefficient.”
"Brilliant comeback. Really cut deep," Alhaitham drawled, barely stifling a yawn. "Classes start this week, so let me make one thing very clear—if you so much as breathe in the direction of my schedule, my projects, anything just to one-up me, I will make your life here a living hell."
Kaveh scoffed, crossing his arms. "Are you threatening me?"
"Not if you don’t do anything stupid."
"Please, with your skill level, I won’t even have to try to be better than you," Kaveh said smugly, brushing imaginary dust off his sleeve before turning toward the closet. He shut the door with deliberate gentleness, as if his clothes were sacred artifacts.
Then, with all the dignity in the world, he turned back to the bed. "Now move. You’re on my side."
Alhaitham barely cracked an eye open. "This is my side."
Kaveh’s eye twitched. "I literally slept here last night. Get up."
"Too bad." Alhaitham pulled off his shirt, making a show of getting even more comfortable. "You want to sleep? You get on your side."
As if blocking Kaveh’s response, Alhaitham turned his back towards him, taking a deep breath as if he was some monk meditating.
“Nuh uh,” Kaveh huffed, lying down on the narrow space between Alhaitham and the edge of the bed. He had already compromised enough, and if Alhaitham wanted this side, well—so did he. It wasn’t exactly spacious, and one wrong move could send him toppling off, but principle was more important than comfort. He could sleep just fine right here.
Alhaitham turned his head slightly, raising a single unimpressed eyebrow. Oh? Fine. If Kaveh wanted to be difficult, Alhaitham was more than happy to retaliate.
Almost like muscle memory, he shifted closer,
arm sliding under Kaveh’s, around his waist, palm pressed against his chest as if he was measuring his heartbeat.
“Unless you want a repeat of last night,” Alhaitham murmured, purposefully close to Kaveh’s ear, “I’d suggest you sleep on your side.”
Kaveh’s breath hitched for one embarrassing second—but he recovered fast.
“Oh?” he drawled, twisting just enough to glance back at him, a slow, knowing smirk spreading across his lips. “So you do remember how you hugged me last night?”
Alhaitham froze.
Kaveh’s smirk widened.
“You seemed confused when I told you in the morning but now, I’m starting to think—” Kaveh tilted his head ever so slightly, voice dropping into something infuriatingly smug. “You weren’t sleeping at all, were you?”
Alhaitham flushed.
It was faint—barely there, really—but Kaveh saw it. With an irritated tch, Alhaitham promptly rolled to the other side of the bed, yanking the blanket over himself like it was his only way of numbing the loss.
Kaveh grinned in triumph, stretching out luxuriously in his newly reclaimed space. “Thought so," he muttered, switching off the lamp so he could finally rest his eyes, “Goodnight, Alhaitham.”
…
“Night.”