Chapter Text
Gotham City Vigilantes
John: I would like to generously give away my MacBook Pro16 2023 and charger for free. It’s in perfect condition, just like new . I recently upgraded to a new model and wanted to offer the old one to someone who will may not be able to afford it and truly needs it. This will be on a first-come, first-serve basis. Please feel free to DM me if you are interested . Text me +X(XXX)XXX-XXXX
John: Still available
John was removed from the chat
Red Hood: what the fuck
Syr]j Nrpwm: BRUCE ITS A SCAM DON’T DO IT
Bitch Boy: I don’t need a free MacBook Pro16 2023 and charger. I have the money to buy one of my own.
Syr]j Nrpwm: And yet you don’t have the money to spare for any of my bat budget requests???
Bitch Boy: The only requests you’ve ever submitted to the Bat Budget are for bricks and glitter.
Cringefail: you don’t need more bricks to throw at me for fucks sake
Robin: I disagree
Cringefail changed Robin’s name to Little Shit
Bitch Boy: Red Robin.
Nightwing: yummmmm
Syr]j Nrpwm: yummmm
Cringefail: yummmm
Red Hood: Yummmmmmm
/|\ ^._.^ /|\: yummmm
Signal: yummmmm
Oracle: Yummmmm
Little Shit: Why are you all saying that
Little Shit: Drake what did you do to my name
Cringefail: hey babs
Cringefail: how the hell did john get here
Cringefail: and who is john
Cringefail: damian, i did what i should have done a while ago
Little Shit: Gordon how do I change it back
Oracle: Great question. By all accounts that shouldn't have happened
Oracle: I'm looking into it.
Bitch Boy: We need to make sure it does not happen again. Launch a full investigation.
Oracle: Yeah, yeah. Already on it Bruce
Bitch Boy: Good.
Bitch Boy: Thank you, Oracle.
Little Shit changed their name to Robin
Robin changed Cringefail’s name to Drake - 1
Robin changed Red Hood’s name to Todd - 2
Robin changed Syr]j Nrpwm’s name to Brown - 4
Robin changed Bitch Boy’s name to Father - 5
Robin changed Signal’s name to Thomas - 6
Robin changed Oracle’s name to Gordon - 7
Robin changed /|\ ^._.^ /|\’s name to Cain - 8
Robin changed Agent A’s name to Pennyworth (human)
Robin changed Nightwing’s name to Richard
Todd - 2: Damian, what the fuck is this
Father - 5: Robin, what do these numbers mean?
Richard: dami, is this your hit list???
Robin: Yes.
Brown - 4: lmao????
Drake - 1: why is there no three
Robin: Three is Kent
Richard: baby bat, you can't just publish your hit list!
Richard: it's bad for business
Father - 5: Damian, why am I at number five on your hit list?
Brown - 4: Did you think you would be higher or lower?
Father - 5: Lower. I’m his father. Damian, why am I so high on your hit list?
Robin changed Brown - 4’s name to Brown - 5
Robin changed Father - 5’s name to Father - 4
Todd - 2: LOL YOU GOT PROMOTED
Father - 4: Robin, please.
Robin changed Father - 4’s name to Father - 3
Richard: lol b you're just gonna go up the list every time you protest
Father - 3: Robin, what did I do? Why are you doing this to me?
Robin changed Father - 3’s name to Father - 2
Robin changed Todd - 2’s name to Todd - 3
Todd - 3: Dammit, I liked my spot
Robin: Do not test me, father.
Drake - 1: LMAO YES KEEP GOING AND GET THE NUMBER ONE SPOT INSTEAD OF ME
Father - 2: Damian, what would your mother say?
Robin changed Father - 2’s name to Father - 1
Robin: Mother emailed me last week. She assured me that she is very proud of me.
Drake - 1: WAIT WHAT THE FUCK WHY DIDNT MY NUMBER CHANGE
Robin: It’s a tie
Richard: hold up, since when does TALIA have email???
Cain - 8: [email protected]
Richard: …noted
Richard: thanks cass
Cain - 8: ദ്ദി
Drake - 1 changed Robin’s name to Worlds Most Hated Bastard
Father - 1: TIMOTHY
Todd - 3: LMAO GET HIS ASS
Worlds Most Hated Bastard changed Drake - 1’s name to Unwanted Child
Brown - 5: OH SHIT
Todd - 3: LMAO GET HIS ASS
Father - 1: DAMIAN
Father - 1: Barbara, please remove both of their naming privileges immediately.
Unwanted Child changed Worlds Most Hated Bastard’s name to Unintentional Child
Todd - 3 changed Unintentional Child’s name to Birth Control Fail
Birth Control Fail changed Todd - 3’s name to Todd - ✓
Richard: OH SHIT
Birth Control Fail: You have ten minutes to run.
Richard: jason run
Father - 1: Damian Thomas Al Ghul-Wayne
Brown - 5: rip Jason
Todd - ✓: I will never run from a little shrimp bastard like you
Birth Control Fail: Seven minutes
Unwanted Child: in heaven?
Unwanted Child: i dont think jason’s getting there
Richard: …damn
Unwanted Child: exactly
Richard: DAMN
Unwanted Child: again, that’s exactly where he’s headed :)
Todd - ✓: Replacement. I’m going to slit your throat again.
Birth Control Fail changed Cain - 8’s name to Cain
Birth Control Fail: Thank you for sharpening my katanas.
Cain: np <3
Gordon- 7: Yeah, okay. Neither of you are allowed naming privileges anymore
Richard: okay, so did he actually attack jason or nah?
Birth Control Fail: Yes.
Todd - ✓: No
Thomas - 6: yo, what did I do to end up on a hit list. all I’ve done today is go to school
Birth Control Fail: You know what you did.
Thomas - 6: i lit dont tho???