Chapter Text
They would never admit it out loud - to each other or to anyone else - but Tatsumaki and Fubuki were just a little bit nervous.
It had started as a regular meeting. Well, that was not exactly the truth. It had started as a mostly regular meeting, one of those very large ones involving almost all heroes that cared to show up, and it had started with two half-excited and half-annoyed esper sisters planning yet another atta- er, chance to help, two certain heroes. Things had unfortunately not gone quite as planned. On one hand, it did seem that their hard work in the last weeks had given some sort of result - the two were more awkward around each other than ever before, even without any help from their self-proclaimed matchmakers. There were many exchanged glances, flushed cheeks and steaming vents, even just from sitting next to each other now. It seemed they didn't even dare touch the other any more without risking... whatever they thought were going to happen if they did.
For all that, though, there was something different in the air. And it was directed straight at said sisters. Both Caped Baldy and Demon Cyborg would send them occasional calculating glances (literally glowing glares, in Genos' case) throughout the entire meeting and it was quite unnerving. Were they on to them?! Surely not, but it definitely looked like it...
During a bathroom break, they could see the duo trying to make their way through the throng of heroes to approach them. Without further ado, both sisters fled into the bathroom to recoup.
"What do we do?" Fubuki hissed angrily, gripping the sink tightly.
"Deny everything, obviously!" came the equally frustrated response. "They have no evidence! Just keep your trap shut!"
Glares and a nod (and a muttered "eff you") were exchanged. At the end of the break they walked, as nonchalantly as they could manage, back to the meeting room to take their spots again.
They didn't dare try anything on the boys at that point - not that they needed to. Saitama in particular was still glancing around suspiciously at nothing, as if he was looking for something he couldn't see. There truly was no denying it, then. But how in the world had they figured it all out?! Granted, the sisters had occasionally been unable to avoid talking or, well, even shouting at them to voice their exasperation... but they were both so thick-headed, they still hadn't even realized how they felt about each other even with all their little suggestions, how could they have realized who was behind their little scheme?! Could the dumb robot scan their outputs or something..? But if so, why hadn't he said anything about it until now?
The meeting couldn't be over fast enough. They were too nervous to even pretend to listen to what was being said and waiting impatiently for the clock to hit 16:00. Finally - freedom!
Hoping to flee without too much notice, hidden among other heroes - preferably big and bulky ones, excellent for hiding petite espers - Fubuki's and Tatsumaki's escape was unfortunately cut short when they found their passage blocked by a certain combat cyborg, crossed arms glowing as if he was ready for a fight. Which frankly he might well have been. The bald one came up behind them, looking less aggressive than his companion, though there was a serious glint to his eyes that they were not used to seeing.
"Come with us!" Saitama ushered in a loud whisper, still glancing around himself, eyes shifting from side to side, still searching for something invisible.
Sensing their defeat (and potential doom) the two sisters followed with slumped shoulders. Tatsumaki considered the merits of throwing Genos aside (or better yet, into the baldy) but deep inside she felt that it was hopeless. If not dealt with now, they would only go for her again the next time. And besides, who knew what stupid stuff her little sister would spout if she wasn't there to stop her. Better grab this bull by the horns and get it over with, as much as it pained her. She was certain she could get out of it physically unharmed, but she did not look forward to the shouting match she was certain was coming up.
They found a small side room, barely more than a broom closet, though it did sport a small table and a few chairs. Fubuki sat down elegantly, smoothing her dress and putting on her best mask of innocence and indifference. Tatsumaki preferred to sit comfortably in the air, held up by her own powers. It might have been a bad idea to remind the others of them right then, but she had no desire to sit and look up at them as they chewed them out.
Genos remained standing near the door like a guard dog, arms still glowing, but Saitama sat down on the remaining chair, clasping his hands together in his lap. "So" he began, clearing his throat, eyes focused on the espers.
Both sisters could feel their hearts pounding. The blond idiot seemed far too aware of that fact, too, they could see his eyes sparkling and was that the hints of a smirk on his stupid pretty boy-face? Stupid cyborgs with their stupid scanners.
"I don't even know where to start" Saitama continued, scratching the back of his neck. "What's going on here?"
"What are you talking about?" Tatsumaki replied quickly, voice an octave higher than usual. Not because she was nervous. She totally wasn't nervous. Not even one little bit.
"You should know" Genos all but growled, scowling deeply. "...Shouldn't you?" he added after a moment's hesitation, suddenly sounding less certain.
"Know what, sweetie?" Fubuki tried. Perhaps this whole thing could be salvaged, still... Granted Demon Cyborg had never seemed to respond to her - or anyone's - flirtations before, it was well known he only had eyes for the bald one, but still, maybe if they could lower his guard a bit...
...Her thoughts were interrupted as Saitama continued.
"Things have been, um, a bit weird lately. We've tried to look into every possible reason for this... And finally, we found it!"
"Oh" the sisters replied together, exchanging glances. This was it. Time to die.
"I think... well, we think, really, that someone might have put a curse on us. Can you help us?"
Tatsumaki and Fubuki stared, which seemed to encourage Saitama to ramble on, perhaps mistaking their shocked surprise for interest.
"I mean... I don't know anything about curses. But something is definitely going on. Someone wants us to lose money by destroying our clothes and Genos has needed so many fan replacements lately... And um, other things have happened too. A curse makes perfect sense to me. Someone has it out for us, maybe a monster did it or something? Anyway, we figured out of all people, you would be the most qualified to deal with it. I'm sure you guys can like... see auras or whatever, right?"
"What's an aura got to do with curses?" Tatsumaki muttered.
"I don't know!" came the exasperated reply. "But seriously, can you help us?"
The sisters sent each other a long glance. Apparently, the gig was not up just yet. What a perfect opportunity.
"Well" Fubuki began, quickly finding herself and voice all business once more. "Curses can be dealt with, but it's not going to be easy. First of all, are you absolutely certain that this is a curse you are dealing with?"
Genos and Saitama sent each other a long glance, followed by a shared slow nod. Damn, even the robot was convinced? That was a good sign and a damn lucky one too.
"Well" Fubuki said again, back to normal B-rank leader confidence, all other feelings hidden under a well-practiced mask. This she could work with. "There are many different type of curses, you know. You're going to have to give us a bit more to work with. Ripped clothes, you say...? What else?"
"There have been... suggestive... messages" Genos muttered with a barely concealed shudder, recalling both the hearts and the very unnerving tea leaves.
"My umbrella got destroyed!" Saitama added, recalling the unfortunate money loss.
"And weird shouts in the wind..."
Silence followed the last comment. Tatsumaki and Fubuki made a dramatic show of thinking over their words, as if deep in thought. "That's it?" the older sister asked.
"Well, that's what I noticed, anyway" Saitama replied, earning him a low sigh from both sisters. That's all they had noticed out of everything they'd done? Dumbasses.
"Okay. Okay, so that's something to work with, anyway" Fubuki assured them, voice dripping honey. She leaned forward, index finger to her chin and blinking slowly as if deep in thought. "You realize what type of curse this is, don't you, Tatsumaki?"
"Yeah yeah."
The male heroes stared at them, hanging on to every word, trusting their judgement. Finally, they would have a solution for their little... situation.
"Indeed. Now, as I said, there are many different types of curses and each can only be broken by a particular method, tailored to that exact type. Otherwise it won't work. It's not going to easy, you know? Are you ready to hear the truth?"
"Yes" the duo breathed together, hanging on to her every word.
"You're going to have to trust us on this" Tatsumaki chimed in, earning her a nod from the enthralled duo.
"Okay. So. The curse you're describing is caused by an exceedingly powerful being, a very beautiful and cunning and lovely being, and it is a curse that can only be broken by one thing..." Fubuki purred.
"And what's that?!" Genos all but shouted, getting impatient with how Blizzard of Hell was dragging this out. Why couldn't the damn esper just spill it out, why did it always have to be so melodramatic?!
After a long glare - how dare he shout at a lady - Fubuki continued with a deep sigh in her regular tone of voice. "The only way to break this type of curse is with a kiss."
Complete silence from the heroes. You could hear the foot steps of someone walking on the floor level above them. Could hear Genos' fans spinning, the rustle of their clothes as they shifted their postures.
"What?" Genos finally said after several long seconds.
"We have to... kiss?" Saitama followed in a tone of disbelief.
"Yes" Fubuki said with a pleased grin, clasping her hands together. She had this one in the bag, she knew it. Their dumb stares told her as much.
"We both have to kiss... you?" Saitama's voice was full of disbelief.
"Each other, idiots!" Fubuki almost lost her composure completely. Almost. She managed to reel herself in at the last second, though she could feel her heart pounding. These thickheaded, idiot-
"Hum" Saitama said now, sending his companion a calculating glance, one eyebrow raised. Both sisters could clearly see how flustered he was getting by now. Any more and there'd be sweat running down his forehead. In rivers. "And you think that would fix things..?"
"It absolutely would" Fubuki assured him, leaning forward to put a hand on his shoulder. "I know this is difficult to take in, but this is very serious business. If you don't deal with this soon, the curse will only continue to grow stronger and make it even more difficult to get rid of. Curses are no laughing matter!"
"I guess... if it would help..." Genos swallowed. This made no sense to him. But in a world of monsters and other mysterious beings, there was a lot of things that didn't make much sense. "You are certain this would break the curse?"
"Well, if you want to be sure, you could just suck his dick, tin can" Tatsumaki suddenly chimed in, elegantly lowering herself to the floor to look up at them.
"Excuse you?!" Saitama exclaimed. Definitely sweating rivers now.
"Hey!" Tatsumaki pointed a finger at him, glaring daggers. "I'm just trying to help! The more mouth you use, the stronger the curse relief! All espers know this, you can ask anyone!"
"Truly?" Genos asked. He couldn't flush red but if the steam was any indication (and it was) he was as worked up as his room mate by now, if not more so. "I mean, if it would break the curse..." he shot Saitama a look that was rather... hopeful.
"I know it's a lot to take in" Fubuki assured them, tone full of pity. "But really, you can trust us on this! After all, we're experts on curses, right?"
She then stood, smoothed her dress out again and together with her older sister they made it for the door. Genos didn't have it in him to try to stop them, he just stared. At Saitama. Who stared back. You could have heard a pin drop to the floor.
"We'll leave you to it, then! Let us know how it, um, goes, alright?"
Two shallow nods. Neither of them could find it in themselves to do more than that. They were still staring at each other.
"Good luck!" both sisters said in unison as they closed the door behind them. Quite handy with these little rooms spread out here and there in the Hero Association building, really. Perfect if you needed a little bit of privacy.
---
They didn't follow Caped Baldy and Demon Cyborg after that. They figured it wasn't needed. They weren't even seen in public for the next couple of weeks anyway, so it's not like they'd had the chance to really do anything even if they wanted to. In fact, things were oddly quiet from the two heroes. They didn't even visit two big sales in one of their favourite supermarkets (that the esper girls happened to be in the nearby cafeteria that offered an excellent view right when the sales took place was just a big coincidence, of course).
For a while, they almost began to worry that the two had fled the city or something in their attempts to rid themselves of the "curse". But no, after inquiring about their hero records, it was shown they still lived on the same address. They were just... very quiet. Or perhaps very busy. Maybe both.
It wasn't until almost a month after their little talk that the sisters finally caught the duo again, walking down the street.
Hand in hand.
"Hello boys!" Fubuki called sweetly, giving them a bright innocent smile as they stopped to regard her. Their fingers remained intertwined as they stopped. "How is the curse coming along?"
"Oh, that thing" Saitama said, looking calmer than either of them had seen him in a long time. "Oh yeah, we took care of that."
"Did you!" the esper said encouragingly. "Do tell! Did the kiss help?"
"Um. Well, I'm not sure which part of it did the trick, to be honest, or which time..."
"We... wanted to make absolutely sure" Genos added helpfully, shooting the other a quick glance. His fans were spinning again, yet he looked more at ease than they had seen him in a long, long time. Far less pent up frustration these days, perhaps.
"Yeah... yeah, we did. Gotta get rid of it for sure, you know? So we um, followed all your suggestions. As well as a few more we thought up, just in case it might help. You said more mouth means more curse relief, so..."
"Indeed" Tatsumaki assured them with a nod. "You did the right thing."
"So yeah, that took care of that, I guess" Saitama continued, rubbing his neck with his free hand. "And we um..."
"Got together in the process?" Fubuki suggested.
"Yeah..."
"That's good to hear. Congratulations, boys!"
"Yeah, I mean, who saw that one happening, right?" Saitama laughed. The sisters chose not to comment on that.
---
On one hand, not everyone is a fan of public affection. Some heroes might roll their or squirm in their seats whenever Caped Baldy and Demon Cyborg would sidle unnecessary close, holding hands, giggling together and exchanging quick pecks during every damn meeting. Not to mention running to the bathroom during the breaks, returning with flushed cheeks and messy hair respectively. If anyone dared ask about it, the only response they would typically get was something about "avoiding curses, just in case". Whatever. When all was said and done, it was at least far less annoying to deal with than their previous state - the extremely obvious flusters and exchanged looks and the fidgeting and the... steam... That had been a pain in the butt for everyone in the vicinity.
This was tons better, really.
The sisters could pat themselves on the back for this one. Finally, it was mission accomplished - and all it took was a simple little curse.