Chapter Text
Waverly is crying…
Nicole’s sleep is shattered by the sound. As if she’s just not meant to sleep through it. Waverly’s back faces her, and Nicole rests a hand on her shoulder. No further encouragement needed, Waverly turns and tucks into Nicole’s side. Nicole whispers quiet words.
I won’t let him, I promise you…
Waverly’s shaking body stills, her breathing evens out, slows, she drifts back to sleep. Nicole watches, making sure Waverly is sound asleep. And then she closes her eyes.
it follows
More blood...
She steps in and it sinks, lower, lower.
A pale face stares at her and she cowers, tries to scramble free, but she’s caught in the quicksand mixed with his blood, and the more she struggles, the tighter it grasps.
She cries out.
A strong wind and a soft voice wash over her face.
“Shh, I’m here.”
An angel. She holds Nicole, and suddenly Nicole realizes that she’s drifted from sleep to reality. That her angel is Waverly, and Waverly is holding her. No quicksand.
No blood.
Waverly cradles her face, so soft Nicole thinks she’s never been held like this.
“It’s a dream, shh,” Waverly is still whispering into her ear, and Nicole realizes she’s holding tight onto Waverly’s wrists.
She loosens her grip, but Waverly doesn’t. And Nicole lets herself lean into Waverly, ease against her body and breath.
Still following…
They only sleep while in the other’s arms. Like the world and its demons can’t get to them this way.
Sunrise drifts through white curtains, falls over Waverly’s still sleeping face. Nicole pushes some hair aside, admiring.
Angel…
| fell in love in a week or two
It’s easy to steal glances when Waverly is right across from her, on the other side of the tomato plant.
“I’ll show you how to prune ‘em,” Waverly had said, “if you’d like, that is.” She’d ducked her head, almost shly, before lifting her eyes to glimpse Nicole’s again.
Show me everything, all of it , Nicole had thought, all you got to give, I want to see it, Waverly Earp…
“I’d like that, very much so,” she told her, a much safer reply.
And now, Nicole thinks that maybe , Waverly is sneaking those glances right back.
She’s got a bit of sweat on her concentrated forehead and it shines in the morning sun. The edges of her dress - white with small, delicate flowers -- are starting to get dirty. Nicole wants to get something for Waverly to kneel on, keep her dress clean, but she stops herself, chastises the thought that Waverly Earp can’t or shouldn’t work hard, and get dirty in the process.
In fact, Nicole can’t think of anyone who works harder around here than Waverly. She peers through the branches again, more taken with the woman kneeling in the dirt in her white dress than she was just one minute ago.
“Here’s one. See how this shoot’s got a little yellow? Cut right here, that should take care of it.” Waverly’s got her fingers on a small sucker, waiting for Nicole to trim it. She reaches through the branches, and steadies the knife right next to Waverly’s hand.
“Don’t move,” Nicole warns her, carefully slicing the plant growth. She hears Waverly’s small laugh, breathy and through her nose. Nicole looks up and Waverly is smiling at her.
Nicole shifts on her knees. “What?” She withdraws her hand from the plant.
Waverly shakes her head. “Nothin’.” But she keeps her eyes on Nicole, like she’s studying her. So Nicole stays still, and just looks right back at her.
“Nothin’ at all.”
-
Nicole lies awake in her bed that night, tapping her fingers on her chest, wondering how in the hell she's going to fall asleep like this…
Alone.
The notion is downright awful, the more she thinks on it.
There’s a knock at her door. Nicole’s heart jumps, and she dearly hopes she’ll find the answer to this loneliness on the other side. She slips from beneath the blanket and opens the door to Waverly. She looks like she might be having the same dilemma. At least, Nicole hopes .
Not that she’d wish anything bad on Waverly, but Waverly standing here at her door is like an answer to a prayer.
She scratches the back of her neck, trying to keep her hands from reaching out and taking Waverly in her arms. Because Waverly does look weary, battle worn, like she could fall into bed for a whole week.
(But Nicole knows Waverly Earp would never do that.)
She looks like she needs someone to hold her, and damned if Nicole doesn’t want to just wrap Waverly up, hold her, promise to keep her safe for the rest of her whole life.
“You alright?” Nicole keeps her arms to her side, to herself.
Waverly looks like she can see right through her, like she knows Nicole was just lying there, awake, thinking about her.
Waverly turns her head, uncertain, and meets Nicole’s eyes again. “Couldn’t sleep. I brought this.” She holds up their book. Sherlock Holmes . Nicole grins.
Nicole opens her door wide. Waverly brushes against her, and Nicole’s breath catches.
Waverly needs no further instruction. She slides into Nicole’s bed and pats the place beside her. Nicole’s heart jumps again, higher.
It’s all so unusual, this woman and the way she does things. The way her gaze fixates on Nicole, like she’s just won a prize fight against a champion. Like Nicole is the most fascinating thing, and Waverly has to study her. It’s most unusual. She’s in her sleep clothes, her face is tired, but Waverly still inspects Nicole like she’s a book to be read, and it doesn’t make much sense to her.
Nicole knows she’s looking at Waverly with some kind of wonder, though. But that’s because Waverly is something else; she’s radiant, even tired and worn as she is, she’s the most singular, striking person Nicole has laid eyes on. And Nicole thinks that maybe she could do this, just look , sit beside Waverly for years to come, if Waverly would let her.
It’s all very unusual, but it’s right . Just right.
Tonight, Waverly falls asleep first, Nicole’s voice softly reading, Waverly on her side, tucked against Nicole’s arm.
-
When Waverly is near, Nicole can feel herself breathe . She feels her lungs slow, inhales the scent of Waverly. Her body thanks her for it, like this woman’s presence is breath itself. How did she ever manage without it…?
Nicole gravitates towards any space Waverly is in.
And it seems , at least Nicole dares to think, to hope, that Waverly is doing the same.
At a kitchen table full of empty chairs, Waverly looks at those empty spaces, walks towards Nicole, and sits down in the seat next to her. They share a space, and all the bad things don’t seem so bad. They feel a little bit lighter, more distant. Waverly outshines everything.
When Nicole reads the newspaper out on the front porch, Waverly brings two glasses of water, and sits down right beside Nicole.
Sometimes they speak. Sometimes they don’t.
Always, though, they turn to meet the other’s gaze. And Nicole’s chest aches in the most pleasant way, like something is settling in there, making a home. Something good and warm and whole .
And it’s not an unwelcome feeling anymore - Waverly’s gaze, combing over her.
It’s a damn fuse . It makes Nicole burn something fierce, and she might be reaching her boiling point, but damn it all, she’d drown in that smolder for Waverly if she has to.
She hopes to high heavens that Waverly doesn’t mind the returned gaze, because it makes Nicole’s blood even hotter to study Waverly Earp.
Waverly Earp. Pruning the tomatoes with her lips pursed and brow bent in concentration, sometimes a bit of a crinkle in her nose.
Smiling wider than the days are long. Her eyes taking the shapes of small moons, wrinkling at the edges, as if her face just can’t hold all the joy that Waverly’s got in her when she’s laughing at something that truly amuses her.
Racing Doc barefoot in the grass when they picnic outside. Her hair, like a heavenly creature all in itself, flying behind, graceful and soft like angel wings.
The more she studies Waverly Earp, the more Nicole realizes this feeling she’s got is something new. Something special.
didn’t take long to love a girl like that |
Outside the chicken run, the grass is long and flowing. It dances with the light breeze that picks up Waverly’s hair, drifting it over her face in a way that makes Nicole want to lean forward, tuck the strands behind Waverly’s ear. Run her thumb over the skin of her cheek…
“You ever been to New York?” Waverly’s voice interrupts, and Nicole finds Waverly’s eyes, fixed and concentrated on her. The smallest of the chicks sits comfortably in Waverly’s lap, and she strokes its back with one finger.
Nicole picks up the chicken that’s pecking at her boot, giving it a stern look before tucking it close to her chest.
“I have. Only stayed about two months. Why?”
Waverly shrugs and looks over her shoulder, to the land of trees. Something like wishfulness is in her face. She sighs.
“What’s it like?” She turns to look at Nicole again, curious eyes and furrowed brow.
Nicole recalls the bustling, always busy. Not much for her taste. Too busy.
“Fast. Always a party happenin’ somewhere. Every time I had a fight, always a party to go to afterward.”
Waverly seems to think over this, and Nicole can’t tell what she thinks of it.
“What do the women do, the fancy ones?”
Nicole chuckles at the turn of phrase. She takes a moment to formulate her reply. Seven or eight chicks run around, tripping over each other, chasing a bug. Their peeps grow louder as they scurry. Nicole’s gaze follows them and she smiles. They’re so determined for such tiny things.
“They dance. Wait for someone to sweep ‘em off their feet. Drink. Dance some more. Buy a whole lotta clothes.”
Waverly’s baby chick is lulled into a light slumber now. “I always thought it’d be a nice place to visit.” Her face falls, and Nicole feels guilty for possibly shattering a held dream. She exhales a quick puff of air.
“I think if you wanna go there, you should.” Nicole’s got a feeling that not many people have told Waverly to do what she wants to. Which is a damn shame. Waverly Earp oughta do everything in the world that her heart desires.
“You know what I’d really like to do?” Waverly’s eyes catch in the sun’s light and they shine .
Nicole has to catch her breath. “What?”
“See Paris. All the beautiful places, the clothes , they have such beautiful clothes… I’d love to visit all those shops.” Nicole watches as Waverly starts to get lost in her dream.
A moment passes. “I think you should do whatever the hell you want, Waverly Earp.”
The look on Waverly’s face is downright cryptic. A tiny, mischievous smile, secretive, but still charming as all hell.
“Maybe I will, Nicole Haught.”
| ain’t no mercy |
Bobo Del Rey knows the goings on of the small town like any good barber should, Nicole learns. He makes a living grooming men’s hair, but he is not a man to be trifled with.
He’s a city slicker, born and bred in the east with a fast Jersey voice. Everyone tells their barber what’s happening.
Even a crooked judge.
And Bobo passes that information along to those he deems worthy of knowing it. Anyone who makes alcohol is worthy in the mind of Bobo Del Rey.
“There’s a new guy. New around here , anyways. Killer Miller, that’s what they call him,” Bobo delivers the information, rapid fire.
They’re at Woolwine and Sowers, the local drug store. Nicole sips on her cherry smash and Doc occasionally sticks his finger in his milkshake and licks it clean. Bobo ordered a ham and cheese sandwich, but he hasn’t touched it yet. He’s too busy talking.
“Rumor is, he’s wanted in six states. And rumor is,” he taps his finger several times on the table, “that’s exactly why Judge hired him.” Bobo rubs his chin, glancing between Nicole and Doc. He picks up the sandwich and takes a big bite, chews it loudly.
Silent pause. Tension.
Bobo leans forward, speaks a bit quieter. “Rumor is, that Adamson boy has made quick friends with him.”
Nicole stops stirring the red drink and looks at Bobo, who’s looking right back at her. Like he was giving this information to her, specifically.
Jonas.
There’s an uncomfortable silence that sits between the three of them. Bobo glances between Doc and Nicole. He takes another bite. Chews. Swallows.
“I’d keep close to that house if I were you,” he says, quiet and solemn. Bobo’s a lively talker. But he gives the advice with more than just an air of warning. “Keep a close eye out.”
| steel angel
It’s been two days now since Bobo told them. And Nicole has barely slept. She tries to push the man, the circumstances, from her mind, but she just can’t.
Keep a close eye out.
The words keep her awake at night. Even with Waverly beside her.
Especially with Waverly beside her.
Like she’s got to keep one eye open, awake and alert at all times.
Gotta keep them safe , she tells herself. She knows she’d never forgive herself if anything happened to the Earps, Doc, Xavier. Mostly, she’s not sure if she could live with herself if anything ever happened to Waverly. Just the mere thought puts a chill in her bones. So Nicole doesn’t sleep much. She thinks quite a bit, over every possible scenario. She needs to be ready.
Ready for him. For them.
She’s been running the perimeter of the Earp’s land, instead of walking, building up endurance in a means of preparing herself as much as she can. It’s about noon, so she makes her way towards her oak tree. Her chest heaves mighty fierce and she’s all sweaty now. The air is crisp, but she pulls her sweater off because it’s just sticking to her skin, uncomfortable and itchy. The sun bears down on her arms now, and the wind cools her a bit. It’s a lovely little reprieve.
Nicole rests her back against it, now remiss in the fact that she forgot her lunch. Her mind was too preoccupied that morning.
She’d watched the coffee percolating, thoughts brewing like the liquid brown. Gus and Waverly talked animatedly, but she didn’t catch any of the words, just knew they were there. Coffee bubbled, and she stared and stared until the pain in her chest hurt so bad, she picked herself up and walked out the back door, letting it slam shut behind her.
Now she feels like a damn fool. No lunch… been running all morning… damn fool.
Leaves crackle and she sits up, alert.
“Nicole?”
Her heart only quickens because it’s Waverly calling her name, ducking under low hanging branches, making her way towards Nicole. She’s got a small basket in hand.
“You left in a hurry, forgot this,” Waverly says plainly.
Nicole takes the basket wordlessly.
“You gonna tell me what’s got you so upset?” Waverly props her hands on her hips and eyes Nicole in a way that makes Nicole think Waverly’s just as worried as she is.
Waverly moves and sits next to her. And almost immediately, Nicole can feel herself breathe easier. It’s a wonder to her, how Waverly does that, just with her presence.
She can’t bring herself to say it.
Killer Miller.
Can’t bring herself to tell Waverly that she’s heard of him before. Heard stories. The kind that keep a grown man awake at night.
“I will.” She looks at Waverly, and Waverly looks back at her. Nicole knows her face must look real sad right about now. But Waverly’s doesn’t look so joyful either. So Nicole offers her hand.
Waverly takes it.
-
She knows she’s in trouble when Waverly storms into the kitchen, practically a hurricane in tow, and Doc, too. He’s got a worrisome look on his face and that doesn’t help Nicole’s disposition much.
She’d been minding her own business, practicing a new card trick. Worst time for a body to bother a person - when they’re concentrating on slipping a card up their sleeve. They’re liable to shit their pants - due to the secrecy of the whole thing. Nicole nearly did. Instead, the deck of cards spewed from her hand and rained down all around her while she desperately grabbed at them. Waverly just watched her make a damn fool of herself, clawing at the air before she finally let the cards be. And Waverly had just stared .
She still is. It’s making Nicole a mite jittery. She shifts her hands around on her hips like one stance is better than the next, but they’re all just foolish. For someone who’s been fighting for a living her whole life, she can’t seem to reconcile her feet with the ground in any proper manner.
Nicole hasn’t even thought of a word to say when Waverly speaks.
“When the hell were you gonna tell me about Killer Miller?” She’s looking at Nicole with an angry fire, and it’s a burn that doesn’t feel so good this time.
Nicole opens her mouth, but no sound seems to come out. She looks to Doc for help.
“Now, I thought you had informed her-“
Waverly interrupts again, turning to face Doc, a finger accusingly pointed in his face. “You shut your mouth, John Henry. Both of you kept this from me.” She faces Nicole again.
There she is.
Lion …
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Waverly asks, her voice a little bit softer now, though no less upset.
Nicole isn’t sure how to answer that, not with Doc standing right here. She’s still working out how to speak to Waverly .
Doc seems to understand, somehow. Because he barely touches Waverly’s elbow. When she turns back to him, he says, “I believe this would best be discussed without me present.” He raises his hands before Waverly can interrupt again. “I know. I will receive my reprimanding later.”
There seems to be an unspoken language between the two of them. Because Waverly takes his hand and squeezes it, and he nods. It’s as if they’ve just communicated something important, something only they understand.
Cards still litter the floor as Waverly faces Nicole again. They stand in silence for a moment, and Waverly’s sharp tone subsides.
“Why, Nicole?” Waverly asks the simple question with a quiet voice.
“Don’t ever tell nobody what scares you. Gives ‘em an edge. Don’t give nobody no edge. Ya’ hear me?”
The words echo, and she’s afraid that Waverly might have heard them, they’re so damn loud.
“I - I didn’t know how. I was trying to figure -- Waverly, I swear it, I didn’t know how,” Nicole pleads with Waverly to understand.
“What do you mean, you didn’t know how?” Waverly’s arms are still crossed, but her voice remains soft.
Nicole can’t just stand there doing nothing, so she stoops to pick up the cards. “Scared,” she says, real quiet, “I was -- didn’t know how to. Just kept feelin’ scared. Just wanted you safe is all.”
Waverly bends to her level, takes the cards from her and sets them on the table, and she holds her hands. She grips them tight, like she’s some sort of lifeline for Nicole. Which, Nicole admits, is nice, because she feels downright terrified. She keeps thinking about her army duffle, stashed under the bed. She’d only unpacked it a couple of weeks ago. Even then, it was at Waverly’s insistence. She keeps thinking about the day she’ll pull it out again, pack up, walk away. But Waverly squeezes tighter, and she stops thinking about that duffle.
“What if, next time somethin’ scares you, you can tell me. And I’ll tell you if somethin’s scarin’ me. We could help each other.” Waverly looks at Nicole like she’s worried about her; like there’s real, genuine concern. Nicole feels it go straight to her chest - that worry. For some odd reason, it feels nice. The words of warning in her mind get quieter.
“Alright.” Just one word, and Nicole feels the weight of that fear lose so much power. Because Waverly Earp is holding her hands, and Waverly Earp is promising to help her, and she trusts Waverly Earp more than she’s ever trusted anyone before.
| snapped back down when he pulled my lead
Wynonna had disappeared in the early morning. Took a full jar of liquor and steadily rising temper with her.
She’s still gone when Nicole comes back from the trees. A calm day, excepting for the storm that’s been brewing.
It’s pouring rain now; autumn monsoons have made their presence well known. Thunder crashes outside Nicole’s window. Seconds later, there’s a soft knock at her door.
Nicole opens it to Waverly, who’s twisting her fingers nervously around the others, her brows furrowed and eyes filled with tears and something else. Something painful.
Nicole takes Waverly’s hands and the nervous fidgeting stops when they wrap around Nicole’s own. Worried eyes trail up Nicole’s body, all the way to her face.
Suddenly, Nicole is caught with an overwhelming desire to pull Waverly into her arms, flush with her own body...
“She’s been gone all day,” Waverly’s voice shakes, but she keeps Nicole’s gaze.
Wynonna’s an unpredictable sort of creature. She comes and goes like this thunderous rain. And somehow, Nicole knows that Waverly isn’t expecting an answer or a solution or a search party. Just a body nearby, just comfort.
And Nicole also knows she’ll do everything to give that to Waverly.
“She’s gone , and now he’s out there, both of them are, probably just looking for her and -!”
Nicole can’t bear the hurt in Waverly’s voice, and she knows that speculating the worst will only get her someplace she doesn’t want to be. She doesn’t silence Waverly, but she pulls her into her arms, wrapping her up, trying to convey with every ounce of her that it’s okay to just be here, in Nicole’s arms. Nicole isn’t really certain for herself that it’s the right thing to do, but she doesn’t have much experience in comforting another woman she cares for so deeply. And this feels right.
Waverly lets her tears fall, like that day in town, after Jonas. And Nicole just holds onto her.
Moments pass, Nicole isn’t sure how many, and Waverly’s cries subside. She pulls back from Nicole’s embrace, and Nicole hates the way that feels. A piece of her is missing now, it seems.
There’s a low hum in her lungs as she thinks of what to say next. Lightning splits across the room and Waverly jumps at the suddenness of it. She stands much closer to Nicole again, their breaths mingle, it feels different than a comforting hug. Nicole still has Waverly’s hands in her own, and their fingers have started dancing, moving against the skin of bare palms.
All she has to do is lean down.
Waverly’s chest rises and falls quicker now. Nicole can hear her breath come in shorter takes. She peers up through her eyelashes, and Nicole’s hands tighten. There’s still tears around her eyes, and it pulls Nicole from her own mind.
Want and guilt crowd her heart, and she knows she has to collect herself.
Because she knows for certain now. What it is that’s been bothering her so. The feeling in her gut, stirring up, whenever she sees Waverly. The hammering in her chest when she’s near.
Nicole wants to kiss Waverly Earp. She wants it more than she’s ever wanted anything in her whole life.
But she also knows that now isn’t the time to even question if that’s what Waverly wants as well.
Because Waverly had come downstairs, looking for a shoulder to lean on. For some consolation while Wynonna was off God knows where.
Nicole’s face twists in the concentration she has to use to bring her mind back to normal conversation. When she’s sure she’s composed, she speaks.
“I ever tell you about the time I fought with a busted nose?”
Waverly seems surprised, fairly so, by the question. She pulls back, but her hands never leave Nicole’s, and it makes Nicole take a deep breath of relief. Waverly also looks worried, and for some reason, that sits pleasantly in Nicole’s chest. Most pleasantly…
“Nicole Haught, you are a fool and a half, aren’t you,” Waverly says, and it’s not even a question.
Nicole laughs. Waverly does, too. And it’s a beautiful sound.
-
They’d fallen asleep swapping stories.
When she wakes, Waverly’s head is on her chest, her arms wrapped firmly around Nicole’s waist. The softest snoring sound comes from her nose, and Nicole thinks it might be the most wonderful thing she’s ever heard. She leans down and her lips press lightly to the top of Waverly’s head, leaving a small kiss. She lingers, the scent of Waverly is even more natural and wonderful than the air after rain.
She isn’t sure how a person can smell soft, compassionate, lovely. Nicole’s never smelled anything or anybody that brought those words to mind.
But right now, flowers, cinnamon, honey, anything else she can think of seems to be misplaced. It just doesn’t fit with how Waverly smells.
Waverly smells like maybe she came from heaven.
Like an angel.
Faintly, Nicole can hear the sound of a small engine. It’s getting closer and closer.
-
The jar is gone, and a little bit more of Wynonna is, too, as she rides up wild and shouting on her newest distraction.
Nicole had gently woken Waverly from her sleep, and now they watch Wynonna ride up the drive on a motorbike.
She’s got a scowl like death on her face, concentrating on the balance of the bike, occasionally letting out a woo !
Wynonna glides very ungracefully to a stop in front of Nicole. She’s got her body angled protectively in front of Waverly, just in case, and Nicole can feel Waverly’s right hand lift to her left arm, holding on to her.
She knows she’s glaring at Wynonna something fierce. But Nicole doesn’t raise her voice as she looks over the bike, and back to Wynonna.
“So, what’s this?”
Wynonna scoffs as she steps off the motorbike. “You are such goddamn bore. It’s a bike ! What the hell’s it look like...” Her voice trails off, and Nicole can smell the liquor from at least two long paces away.
She can see the deepening of the dark under Wynonna’s eyes from farther.
Wynonna stomps up the stairs to the door, and Nicole follows slowly and at a distance. She hasn’t even made it to the door when Wynonna is back out, riding goggles in hand.
“Knew we had some,” Wynonna mutters under her breath.
“Wynonna…” Waverly’s voice starts behind Nicole.
Wynonna looks up to Waverly for a moment. There’s something building behind Wynonna’s eyes, and it’s close to breaking. When she looks at Waverly, Nicole thinks she can hear the next crack in the dam.
It doesn’t break, though. Wynonna fits the goggles on and starts the engine. She’s so close to breaking, Nicole sees it, she recognizes the familiar signs. She can’t let it happen to Wynonna -- not her, too…
Wynonna speeds away, and Nicole starts to run after her. Her feet just take her, right along with the ache in her heart that’s growing more and more painful. Waverly’s voice stops her in her tracks, though.
“You can’t catch her, not like that.” Waverly’s in front of Nicole now, brushing the hair away from her face. Nicole tries not to lean into Waverly’s touch…
She really does try.
But her hand covers Waverly’s, and she lets her cheek rest against Waverly’s touch. She can’t not in this moment. Because as soon as Waverly touches her, Nicole’s heart hurts a little less.
“We have to get Xavier.” Waverly’s looking into Nicole’s eyes, pleading. “I think he’s the only one she’ll stop for. They’re all at the stills.”
It starts to rain right then, mercilessly.
Nicole looks around and wraps a sheltering arm around Waverly, leading her up the stairs and out of the rain. “You drive a car?”
Waverly nods. “Doc taught me a while ago.”
“You drive us out there?”
-
She’s never been this far out, all the way to the stills. Doc’s on the roof and Xavier is holding a ladder up when they come into sight. Waverly honks the horn and both men turn. They must recognize it, Nicole thinks. Doc climbs down and they both run to the car.
Waverly rolls the window down and Xavier leans in, his arms resting against the door. His brow is drawn in concern, as if he knows this isn’t a good thing that they’ve had to drive down here. “What’s happened?”
Waverly scoots over to the middle seat as she opens the door to Xavier. “Wynonna... Get in, I’ll tell you on the way back.”
the devil had a hold of me |
Nicole holds Waverly’s hand as they watch Xavier drive away in the direction Wynonna went earlier that day. She feels Waverly squeeze tight, hears her exhale a deep breath.
She squeezes back, looking out at the muddy drive. The rain still pours in sheets. “He’ll find her. He’ll bring her back.”
| come stand with me
The lights are bright and the music is loud. The barn is crowded with people. People dancing, talking, singing, drinking.
But the only person Nicole can see or hear is Waverly.
“Not as fancy as one of them New York parties. I bet it’s much more fun, though,” Waverly had said in a sweet voice as they crossed the railroad tracks into a neighborhood that Nicole was unfamiliar with.
They passed small, rundown houses barely a foot apart, and Nicole grew silent. The neighborhood had started to become familiar, in a different sort of way. Too familiar.
So she let Waverly’s voice distract her.
“Jeremy and Rosita make the best bathtub gin, and Xavier’s neighbors all got the most lovely voices. Oh, Mattie’ll be there, too.” Nicole’s heard all about them from Waverly, but she’s never actually met them.
Waverly had talked all the way, until Doc pulled the car over and switched the engine off.
She’d introduced Nicole to the folks who work at the distillery: Mattie, Rosita, and Jeremy. Apparently, Rosita and Jeremy don’t just make the best bathtub gin, they make the best moonshine in seven counties. And no one keeps a still running smoother and more efficiently than Mattie. It doesn’t look like any of them are from around here, but that just makes Nicole smile even bigger as she shakes their hands.
The Earp’s family is the widest ranging one Nicole has ever seen. It’s beautiful.
Then Waverly had pulled her to the center of the dancing bodies, a pleading face Nicole couldn’t say no to.
Nicole had watched from her place, leaning against a wall as Waverly had danced with several folk. Men and women alike, all lively dances. But when she takes Nicole’s hands, Waverly lets herself drift close to the body that’s swaying with hers. Her hands twist around Nicole’s neck, and Nicole holds the small of Waverly’s back. It’s intimate, Nicole notes to herself, more than she’s ever felt, though she’s danced just as close with others.
The music is a quiet murmur now, and Waverly whispers, pointing discreetly so she can tell Nicole all about her friends here. How she never even knew this place existed until after she came to live with Gus and Curtis. That Louisa had illuminated her in the ways of making the best damn biscuits in the whole world. How Mattie had showed her what makes an engine run and Jeremy showed her the most perfect recipe for stump whiskey.
Nicole’s danced with a lot of women, but none of them are anywhere near as fascinating as Waverly Earp.
None of them ever made her feel like she’d maybe she could stay in one place for the rest of her life. Like it might be more terrifying to run away from this place.
The fiddle draws out a tune of passion, the kind that aches in a person’s belly. Nicole’s fingers grip a little tighter around Waverly’s back. She swears she hears Waverly gasp, small and quiet.
Waverly looks up at her, and they stare for what seems like hours. Nicole can feel Waverly’s eyes flickering down to her lips. She’s doing the same thing, though. Waverly’s got such beautiful features, her mouth notwithstanding. Nicole’s never kissed a person before, never really had the inclination to. But the curve of Waverly’s lips and the way she wakes Nicole from nightmares is a strange combination of alluring. She often finds the question passing through her mind:
How could I ever leave her ?
-
Nicole was checking in on the baby chickens when Gus had asked her to help carry some sacks of grain from the car to the barn.
She’s got one sack over her shoulder, following Gus to the intended location. When Gus shows her, she lets the sack hit the ground with a loud thump.
“Waverly tells me you ain’t never stayed in one place so long as you have here.”
Gus breaks the silence between them, and there’s something in her voice. Something like protection, a guarded question.
Nicole hesitates. She shoves her hands in her pockets. There’s a hole in the left one. She pokes a finger through it, and hears Waverly’s voice reprimanding her for poking at torn clothes. “No, ma’am.”
Gus sniffs and wipes the brow of her forehead with the back of her hand. “She’s taken quite a likin’ to you.” Their eyes meet, and Nicole feels as if she’s about to be scolded. “I got reason to worry about that?”
Her fingers pokes through the hole in her pocket. “I- I’m not sure what you mean to say…”
Pushing up the sleeves of that old, too-big coat and crossing her arms, Gus looks pointedly at Nicole. “I think you do.”
She thinks she does. She thinks what Gus is saying is that Waverly might be as torn as Nicole would if Nicole had to leave. If she did leave.
Which means Waverly might just feel something in return, something like that burning in her chest that Nicole feels every time she sees Waverly’s smile.
Maybe .
Nicole looks around the barn absently, biting her lip. “I ain’t had a reason to stay any place. I got quite a few now.” They hold an understanding gaze, and Gus nods her head. She walks towards Nicole, but just as she’s about to pass, she takes Nicole’s arm in a strong grip.
“You be good to her. Or I will shoot you down myself.”
Nicole feels as if she should stand at attention and salute, but she refrains. Instead she holds out a hand. “Yes, ma’am.”
Gus eyes the hand a dreadful long moment before a smirk catches her lips and she gives Nicole’s hand a good shake, showing her just how firm her grip is. It’s damn firm, alright.
They go back to see the chickens -- and never speak of this moment again.
my darling one |
Nicole Haught wouldn’t call herself a fool. She’s got a sensible head on her shoulders and knows when to speak and when to shut her mouth. No, Nicole ain’t one to be known as a foolish person.
But right now, Nicole Haught is piling mud on a lawman’s car with Waverly Earp.
It’s the damned stupidest thing she’s ever done, but Waverly is laughing, and it’s a sound of pure joy. So Nicole keeps dumping mud, and Waverly’s smile grows wider with every handful.
Waverly had asked her if she wanted to take a walk.
Well, of course she did.
The sun was setting and it was cloudy, like it just might rain again. They walked side by side, hands hanging and occasionally brushing against the other’s. Nicole was running out of reasons not to take Waverly’s hand in her own, and hold on tight to it.
That’s when they saw it - the car.
The air is tight and humid, like the clouds weigh heavier in anticipation of the storm. Waverly piles mud into the seats and onto the hood of a very nice vehicle.
“Come on, I dare you,” she’d said to Nicole, with a beautifully mischievous look in her eye.
So she did.
They pile it high, laughing until they hear footsteps, and they run . Waverly’s hand is still there, beckoning to be taken, held. Nicole reaches, and Waverly must sense it because she meets Nicole and their hands fold together. Nicole feels her whole body soar .
They hit the railroad and follow it. Trees overhang and just cover the rain that’s begun to drop, feathery light.
“This way,” Waverly points to the right, a beaten path, no doubt rarely taken.
Nicole follows, hand still in Waverly’s. They slow as Waverly leads her into the trees and away from the tracks, and the sounds of anyone else, to a grove. Covered in vines and branches, it’s hidden away from the rest of the world. Raindrops sneak through the leaves, falling heavier now, and Waverly lifts her face to welcome them like an old friend. She shines .
Radiant…
Nicole’s trepidation seems to drop to the ground with the rain, washing away. The pull to Waverly is too strong for her soul. She lifts a hand to Waverly’s cheek.
Waverly’s eyes meet hers, resolute but tender, shining with the stray light that slips through. Nicole brushes her thumb across the skin, a few raindrops with it.
Being this close is some kind of drug, and Nicole leans closer. She’s ready to move back at the first sign, the first signal from Waverly.
“ Waverly …” It’s ever so quiet, soft, the question she doesn’t even know how to ask.
Waverly looks at her and her eyes hold every bit of the answer. Nicole thinks she might be dreaming when Waverly nods, and breathes out a small but eager yes .
She’s scared half to death, leaning forward, pressing her lips to the edge of Waverly’s mouth. She can feel herself trembling when Waverly moves closer and turns just so their lips meet, pressed firmly.
And even though she’s got not frame of reference, she knows this is it. This is how it’s supposed to be. Supposed to feel.
Thunder rolls and lightning cracks. They move like a piece of nature. Lips sealed, heaven and earth meet in a grand harmony.
-
It’s almost peaceful, back at the homestead. They’ve dried off and changed, and now Nicole and Waverly sit at the table, sipping steaming coffee. Waverly’s hand drifts across the table and rests over Nicole’s, and Nicole turns her hand so she can take Waverly’s, hold it.
Their eyes rest longingly on each other’s. The memory of Waverly pressed against her body still tingles on Nicole’s lips.
It is peaceful…
For a moment.
Because Doc comes home from a trip to town. As soon as they hear an engine pull up, they pull their hands away. The little world where only they exist is busted up.
The kitchen door swings open and blood is dripping from Doc’s nose. He’s got a black eye, too, and Nicole knows who did it. She doesn’t even have to ask. But she does.
Waverly’s fetching some ointment when Nicole steps close to Doc, leaning over the sink, swearing at the blood still dripping from his face.
“Jonas?” Her voice is quiet as she stares out the kitchen window.
Doc spits into the sink, nodding his head. “I think it is best… if you keep close to Waverly.”
He doesn’t explain further. But a threatening chill runs through Nicole’s whole body.
| you can touch me, if you want to |
She’s unsure what to do, later that night, with this new development. Now, more than ever, she needs Waverly, and she knows Waverly needs her. They won’t be able to spend this night alone. So Nicole goes to Waverly’s room, taps on the door softly.
Waverly opens and sighs, almost like the sound of relief. “I didn’t know if you’d… after-”
“Tell me what you want. I’ll go, I’ll stay. You just tell me.”
Waverly’s lips tremble a little, and she reaches out and twists her fingers in Nicole’s, tugging her gently.
Nicole moves close. Waverly pulls her flush against her body. Nicole wraps her arms around Waverly and holds her tight and lets her soft cries release, into Nicole’s chest.
“It was him, wasn’t it?” The sound comes muffled from against Nicole’s shirt.
Nicole tucks Waverly closer, tighter against her own chest.
“I made you a promise.”
Waverly pulls back, because Nicole had barely whispered the words above her head. Her eyes fix on Nicole’s, asking for more.
“I promised you, he won’t touch you again. Long as I got breath in me.”
Even if it takes the breath out of me , she doesn’t add.
Waverly’s eyes are wide and brimming with tears. And suddenly her lips are on Nicole’s. Waverly’s hands cradle her face, and her lips are almost too soft, they might not be real. But they are…
Nicole pulls her close, close as she can, deepening the kiss. She’s not sure what to do with her hands,so she holds Waverly’s back, supporting her.
Waverly pulls away, and she gazes at Nicole in a strange way, as if she’s confused about something.
“Are you real?” Nicole just barely hears Waverly whisper.
“ Me ?” Nicole’s confused now. Waverly, the most striking, magical person she’s ever met, asking Nicole if she’s real.
Waverly’s hand runs slowly down Nicole’s face, her fingers studying the skin. Nicole is already burning up, every touch is kindling to the flame.
“You…” Her thumb travels across Nicole’s chin, up, over her lips. Nicole nearly moans, her breath is shaky against Waverly’s hand. “Nicole Haught, look at me?”
Nicole hadn’t even realized that her eyes had closed. She opens them, greeted by Waverly’s.
“You are…” Waverly pauses, and it looks like she searching for her words. She swallows heavily. “You mean a great deal to me.”
Nicole’s chest aches, there’s such a weight on it, and she bites her lip, swears she won’t cry. “I don’t…” Her throat is thick and she can’t think of the words. “I don’t know how…”
Waverly just nods, her hands hot around Nicole’s neck as she pulls her down and their foreheads meet, resting.
Nicole breathes the same air as Waverly, she lets it sit in her lungs and propel her forward, down to Waverly’s lips. They meet, gentle, chaste, the words Nicole can’t speak quite yet, pressed against Waverly’s lips with her own.
Important…
Waverly pulls her, the kiss is hungry, wanting. Nicole’s heart ascends to some heavenly place.
Most important thing in the whole world…
She feels Waverly’s tongue, soft along her bottom lip. She moans quietly as it slips against her own. The ache in her chest eases, like the pain is not Waverly... like the cure is Waverly.
I need you, Waverly Earp .
I just need you…
-