Chapter Text
Kurt's on his way home and can't help but be grateful that his dad and Carole are supposed to be home late today and Finn is off at Puck's for the evening. Kurt's thoughts are a chaotic jumble and his breathing is still uneven. What had he been thinking? Although, that's kind of the point, Kurt hadn't been. It was like all Kurt needed was someone else touching him sexually, and he became this…lust-driven teenager that he normally felt nothing like. He had actually been encouraging Karofsky to keep going! Kurt feels his skin warm as it always does when he blushes.
But this was with Karofsky of all people. He shouldn't have felt anything but disgusted by what had transpired in that bathroom. Kurt feels the shudder go down his spine; he had been on the floor with nothing between him and it while doing things he had never allowed himself to think of let alone fantasize about. You didn't seem to mind so much when David fingered you and then made you come hard enough to see white, his mind whispers traitorously.
Honestly Kurt likes romance; and so far all of his fantasies that involved Finn had been about cuddling, kissing, and hand holding. Certainly nothing like what he just did with David. Kurt flushes further when he realizes he was turned on enough to override his normal reservations about himself and his body. It's not that Kurt thinks he's ugly. He just doesn't consider himself desirable to anyone. Even Brittney had been attracted to the persona he had donned and not the true him.
Pulling into the driveway, Kurt parks his baby and gathers everything before proceeding into the house. Heading immediately to the basement that houses Finn and his room, Kurt puts the boots and costume away in his walk-in closet. Thank god none of it got ruined despite his activities in the bathroom. Kurt had worked endlessly on that costume and would have been devastated if his hard work had been destroyed.
Pulling on yoga pants and a t-shirt, Kurt takes a quick look in the vanity mirror. No visible marks on his neck, Kurt recalls that David had been too busy making him feel like he was falling apart to make any and that's the cue for his skin to stain pink yet again.
Kurt smirks remembering the mark he'd left on David's neck. Oh, to be a fly on the wall at the Karofsky household when that little present was noticed! Kurt's hoping the conversation over the hickey is at the very least embarrassing for Karofsky. Considering everything he's done to Kurt since the start of sophomore year, Karofsky deserves being given the third degree.
Assessing the rest of his body Kurt does realize he's slightly sore. Seems maybe a bath later with some of his body salts is in order. Pausing, he touches fingertips to kiss-swollen lips. That was his first kiss that counted; Kurt's not sure how he feels about that exactly.
Heading back upstairs, Kurt starts getting dinner ready. Kurt's thoughts are still rioting in his head as he gets out the ingredients for his vegetable lasagna. Kurt's at a loss because he can't even think about sex without having to lock away the thoughts his own imagination sometimes conjures up, due to his anxiety about the subject. Yet he had been so demanding, so wanton with David.
His hands keeping busy, Kurt can feel the heat transfusing through his body at the mere thought of what he had felt being pinned and …devoured by David once he had shut up. If Kurt was honest, he had never felt such an all-consuming need to touch someone as he had then. Especially since he usually shied away from any personal contact, even with his closest friend Mercedes Jones. But the way David had looked at him when he wasn't expressing anger had been intoxicating. It was as if Kurt was all he desired…
Kurt pauses in mid slice of the zucchini, Karofsky's gay, he realizes. But no, that was… well actually, it makes sense the more he ponders Karofsky's previous actions. He's never had a girlfriend that Kurt can recall. And before their encounter in the bathroom, Karofsky had stuck to name-calling and slushies with the occasional slam into the lockers. Although, now that Kurt really thinks about it, Karofsky has never actually thrown a slushie at him. It had been Azimio or one of the other jocks they hung out with that doused him every time. Not only that, but David had been hard before they had started any sexual touching, so he could have only gotten hard from a single kiss and some rough housing.
Huh, that certainly explained quite a bit, like David's comment right before Kurt had walked out. How David hadn't wanted to forget their encounter, hook-up, or whatever you… shit!
Kurt has no idea if that was David's first time. Oh god, and they hadn't used a condom! Okay, just breathe it's nothing to worry about. Kurt will just have to talk to David tomorrow and confirm that it was his first time as well, or that he has been protected every time before that at the very least.
Karofsky's a jock, and all the jocks (even him) have hooked up with Brittney at one point or another. Why would Karofsky have been any different? Especially when you considered the closet he had been hiding in.
Kurt groans, because what if Karofsky decided to act out against him because of what happened in the bathroom? A closet case at McKinley didn't make for the best outcome; add in that Karofsky's on the football team (the biggest group of homophobes Kurt's ever had the misfortune of knowing) and now the situation could get dangerous if he felt cornered or pressured in any way. Kurt was going to have to proceed very carefully until he could understand Karofsky's mindset better.
Taking a pause in his thoughts, Kurt finishes cutting the last of the vegetables and then layers them along with some whole-wheat pasta before placing the casserole dish in the oven. The main entrée done, Kurt sets the table and then gathers items for a salad. Looking in the fridge he takes pity on his dad and adds some chicken cutlets to dice and spread out on top. Only once the salad is prepared and chilling in the fridge; does he grab a Diet Coke, sit down on the couch, and let his thoughts wander again.
What had it been about the situation that had turned him on so much? He's never watched porn; feels embarrassed just thinking about it. And the few times he had awoken hard in the morning he swiftly took a cold shower to alleviate the problem.
It wasn't the guy per se that turned him on, though David definitely fit the type of guys Kurt's attracted to despite what Kurt had told him. However, Karofsky is an ass and Kurt doesn't go for guys like that, although apparently he does get off on it.
Maybe it was the shear presence of someone that huge, Kurt feeling cocooned in David's embrace? Kurt knows he liked having his wrists pinned and wasn't that a bit shocking to find out. His skin had felt electrified at all points of contact with David. He had even enjoyed marking his skin and having David make those sounds when he had...damn, he wished he'd stop blushing. His dad would definitely know something was up if he couldn't control it. And that's the last conversation Kurt wants to be having right now.
Kurt wouldn't have thought he'd enjoy being rough with a partner, but obviously he had. Perhaps a little too much; when you consider he allowed himself to lose his virginity in a bathroom at McKinley with someone who had been bullying him. And Kurt doesn't even know what to think about that or what it says about him. He's at a loss of what to think about David either.
David obliviously has issues about his sexuality or he wouldn't have stepped up his bullying of Kurt. Is Kurt supposed to help him somehow come to terms with being gay? Whether Kurt likes it or not, they now have a connection because of their intimacy. Should he even try though? Karofsky had been horrible to him lately and who's to say this would change anything between them.
Not only that, but just how would he relate to Karofsky about such a subject? They were obviously at different ends of the spectrum. Kurt had pretty much been in a glass closet almost all his life… and Karofsky, well if Kurt hadn't just had mind blowing sex with him, you'd never know he was a friend of Dorothy. Kurt couldn't conceive Karofsky coming out anytime soon except maybe if he was threatened at gunpoint or something.
But then could Kurt blame him? If life at McKinley was hard for Kurt, who admittedly had some of the stereotypical traits of what people considered gay, just what would it be like for a jock like Karofsky? A nightmare that's what, and while Kurt still holds Karofsky responsible for his actions, he does understand better where he's coming from now that he knows.
Of course, perhaps Kurt just needed to wait. David had said he hadn't wanted to forget. Kurt recalls he threw out that challenge of proving it simply because he hadn't believed David at the time. But if David is in fact gay and really wants to remember the intimacy of what happened between them…Kurt's curious to know just what David would come up with to prove it to him.
The front door slams and Kurt is broken out of his inner musings. "Hey Dad, how was work?"
"Hi buddy, just fine. And school? How was that Lady GaGo thing you were doing today?" Burt takes off his down vest and hangs it up.
"Honestly Dad! Lady Gaga, her name is Lady Gaga. It went well, we blew the guys away that's for sure. They're going to have a hard time beating us".
"Well good Kurt. Is anything ready for dinner? I'm starving."
"Yes, but go clean up first. That should give Carole time to get home."
Burt looks over at Kurt and notices he seems far off in his own thoughts. "Everything okay Kurt? No ones giving you a hard time right?"
Kurt feels his head snap up, "No Dad everything's fine, honest. Now go get ready." As his dad walks away Kurt lets out a little breath, he's going to have to be more discrete, that was close! This will just have to be like those times people have called the house shouting slurs, his dad can't find out. It would do no good anyways, seeing as it's over and done with. Kurt needs to stop dwelling on what could happen and just take it all one day at a time.
Nodding to himself, Kurt goes to get the lasagna out of the oven. He's not sure what Karofsky's schedule is tomorrow, but Kurt will be speaking to him, even if he has to drag Karofsky into the locker room or something.