i feel like the best wya to describe my feelings on susato as a character is that she fits in so well with what japanese society (esp at the time) think that a young girl shld be, self deprecating and polite and capable and caring of others and all these billions of other things. to a point where i start getting extremely rabid every time i think about her and all the emotions that are wound up in her chest and it drives me CRAZY how you depicted her here like the introspection abt her following kazuma and ryuunosuke thru their dreams and feeling comfortable being an onlooker, i just....!!!!!!!!! the way that susato's life is shaped around the fact that she is a Woman born into japanese society and the men in her life can have her in their mind at all times but theres only so much they can do for who she's expected to be and how she's conditioned to navigate interactions with others... fuuuck
not really about the fic though. sorr yfor being that guy who's too woke for a second. all thats to say i feel really... emotionally touched by this fic in a way that fanfic often doesnt get me (although ofc YOUR writing always does this to me but there's a scale of like, impacted to personally impacted here and i feel like i'm solidly on the personally impacted side it's this one and "this december" which is ironic, hey cat next time you write a bday fic for someone can you include me in that as well? thank you) like i feel like this is such a beautiful and articulate look into susato's mentality, her care for others, her deep overwhelming sense of self hate and not being worthwhile... the way that you spell out what she's trying to do for the reader is really excellent, plays just like the game with holmes and iris and mikotoba piecing it together as a group and susato's choice to deal with her frustrated emotions to once again try and be kind to them...!!! to give them an experience they missed out on, that she felt they deserved and couldnt have because her father was in japan with HER!!! it tears me apart like im actually speechless mikotoba susato THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE.
ohhh. your holmes is so wonderful. i stopped several times while reading to yell in raes dms about how papas he is. sooooo cute showing that early awkward sweetness with him and iris, and i love how mikotoba advises bc he's been thru that before too even if it's different for him since holmes stayed (ratioed by a white man, kind of embarrassing ngl?) and iris is just adorable. ray of sunshine. love how you write her dialogue and her cooking japanese food for susato and offering to make her a new doll :') and it's wonderful how Seen susato is from holmes and iris being so happy to see her downstairs finally and ryuunosuke covering for her and looking at her and seeing her emotional conflict (two sides of the same coin!!) and holmes pointing out she'd be distressed if she actually did lose the doll... man. it's so sensitive and kind and warm they're such a family it actually makes me ill
mikotoba. fuuuuck. impossible to be mad at that man, his pretty privilege is insane. i love the way you write susatos perspective around him, the way that it's described he never pushed himself into her life and gave her the space to come back to him, the way he can tell what she's thinking and feeling and chooses to comfort her in a way that is so individual to her, it cuts right to the heart of the issue without bringing up any excuses, like yuujin knows what she knows now, what its done to her and how much it hurts, he wont hide for it or pretend like he doesnt, but he's going to tell her whats true and its that shes wonderful and deserves better and uuuhagghg. aghghggkckck. the mikotobas and their casual deprecation will always fuck me up they're just both so gracious. i love how you write yuujins dialogue he's so fucking handsome and kind and paternal it's wonderful.
shout out ryuunosuke ok? i smiled. i smiled. god he cares about her MAKING AN EXCUSE FOR HER WHY SHE DIDNT COME DOWN UGHGHGHGH okay sorry i had to say that. and i did cackle that he went to an auction. baby boy is trying to go broke right before he goes back home to japan!!!! frying me.
susato...... ohh. i love the shift in this fic from her in a low moment falling back on this need to other herself and create joy for other people and then at the end after receiving comfort and choosing again to trust in her father agreeing that she IS a part of the family and she DOES belong... the ending of tgaa is so perfect bc you get the sense susato is finally choosing for HERSELF now and getting to embark on a journey where she can live for her own aspirations and i ughghrghrghrg it's so lovely. they're such a found family. i feel actually destroyed by reading this like i need to go around and pace and cry a lot before i can be normal again. susato oh my god susato. cat you're insane you're such a genius with words i feel like i'mt alking to da vinci sometimes
Comment on for old time's sake
ToxicPineapple Tue 30 Dec 2025 06:39AM UTC
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