Starting us off, I like the little detail about Charlie having to wear padding to stop the clicking of her hooves. Sometimes when authors bother to touch on minor details that casual readers will probably miss, it’s usually the details that don’t matter in the story and it might end up bloating the story if it’s done too often. But that’s not the case here because Charlie’s loud footsteps actually matter in the story, what with the need to keep her secret (for now).
This Bible character is, uh, concerning to say the least. I don’t speak for everyone who reads this fic, but as of now it’s still pretty easy to fall into the mindset of “Aw, Charlie’s the Princess of Hell! She’ll beat this human man easily” while forgetting that 1) she ain’t in her daddy’s domain anymore and 2) they still have weird powers that we still don’t know where they came from. All that to say, you’re doing a good job of making him an ominous presence without having him onscreen and I don’t feel like the tension is being diluted, which is impressive considering Charlie is someone we know survives to the end and logically won’t be killed by him or anyone else.
(Love that little aside about Charlie feeling “more professional” using proper radio terms haha)
Charlie feeling a brief stab of jealously makes sense, as does Kevin being worried about it affecting the mission, but I personally don’t think there will be anything to worry about. I say this because 1) see how Charlie immediately dropped it when she heard the crying girls? I think she’ll be able to put the victims first, and 2) if Amanda ever finds out about this, I also don’t think she’d let petty feelings for an ex get the better of her. Granted I haven’t seen much of her and might be misreading her character, but I’d like to think she’d be happy for them :)
Also, this is more of a reaction from me than analysis, but I pretty much had the same reaction as Charlie when the girls were being pulled out of the van. I was like “Charlie gettem! CHARLIE GET EM KILL THEM NOW, THEY’RE RIGHT THERE.”
(I don’t want anymore “Sara”s to happen, okay? :< )
Edit: Apparently it’s been edited to Chloe, although now I can’t be sure whether Sara or Chloe came first goddamnit
That’s about all I have to say for this chapter! I’m hopping to the next one soon to see if the rescue operation starts then, but in the meantime, I hope you enjoy my comment 💜✍🏻
Comment on Angel's Demon
MidnightMorp on Chapter 15 Mon 09 Dec 2024 01:48AM UTC
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