I was happy too! When I read a fic I like I usually think on it for a bit so it's nice when people are open to hear my thoughts!
I'm all for exploring the Nabatean's lore!! I wish the actual game touched on it way more than it does; it's so interesting! And I think making a separate story for Flayn and Linhardt was a good choice, now you can have fun and focus on their relationship without worrying about fitting it in with the messy love triangle. I'll be sure to check it out as you update!
For Edelgard, what caught me as off was how impulsive she came across. Idk if you've played her route, but her interactions with the party for a large part are cold. She is very calculating, similar to Claude but relies more on pure strength than playing people against each other.
As for adding scenes with her, imo it depends. Are the scenes typical bad guy monologues about their plans? reminisces about how they got here? or is it going to be a more emotional connection between the two, like a callout to their shared time as kids or at the academy? I remember you included Dimitri looking into Lord Arundel at the library. If the scenes more focus on those who slither in the dark and their effects on Dimitri, I say keep adding those tid bits to let the audience know Dimitri is doing something in the background (or if you want to be really forward with it a convo between Dimitri and Dedue, maybe in the period between Edelgard revealing herself as the flame emperor and the invasion of Garreg Mach). Another thing to think about for any added scenes with her is who is holding the animosity and its strength at different points in the story. I'm assuming mainly Dimitri since that's how the game goes, but I'm not sure how you wanna play the transition of just empire bad to #1 Edelgard hater.
Typical Bad Guy Scene - I wouldn't worry about it
Callout to Relationship or an It's All Your Fault Scene - Yes. It doesn't necessarily have to be a lot or many scenes bc people know already, you don't have to build that from the ground up. Imo it's more about letting the audience know she plays a bigger part in the story than plot line B obstacle.
Specific Scene Ideas I had (feel free to ignore, I just kept thinking about what you could do and figured I'd share to see if it gives you any ideas of your own!)
You could add the scene in the beginning of Dimitri's route where Edelgard makes some aggressive comments towards him before a mission and have Byleth point out some interesting body language from Dimitri or have it be his POV and he's like holding back rage.
For the battle scene where Edelgard breaks his arm. If kept as is, maybe add Dimitri saying some choice words about Edelgard afterward that Byleth overhears? Or changing the scene a bit - instead of Edelgard being upset about losing and breaking his arm bc of that, Dimitri could start taking the fight way too seriously and Edelgard defeats him by breaking his arm (snapping him out of whatever angry haze he was in?). You can still get the infirmary scene and interactions afterward with Seteth while also showing Edelgard is Strong (more helpful for after timeskip and establishing her as a True Villain instead of nuisance to deal with before TWSITD). If other characters note the seriousness of the fight, both could be 'punished' for it and this gives Dimitri something to hold over Byleth's head later to manipulate her (more after timeskip like 'you sided with villain over me! you need to make up for it!' or 'how do I know you won't do it again?')
I just posted a new chapter where Byleth overhears Dimitri talking with Arundel. I really like your idea of making Dimitri too angry to stop so Edelgard hits him really hard at the first mock battle to stop him. I’m really playing up Dimitri’s somewhat bipolar nature as being the thing that puts off Byleth and other people around him. As for Edelgard, I did Black Eagles/ Silver Snow for my first play through so I should know about her calm and calculating ways, so my mistake. I think I will go back and add a couple of emotional scenes with her and Dimitri. Without giving away too much, I’m writing Rhea extra creepy in this fic, so much so that even Seteth turns against her. Eventually Edelgard will be on Seteth and Byleth’s side, in a manner of speaking. Dimitri also has some less than kingly virtues coming up. Let’s just say everyone feels the consequences of their actions, good or bad, in the end 😅
I literally just got done a Black Eagles/Crimson Flower run so that's why I think it stood out so much to me in the first place (You inspired me to do a Blue Lions run next!) I'll have to go back and read the new scenes and the new chapter! I'm very intrigued to find out what Edelgard being on the same side as Seteth and Byleth means. And for Rhea, I think she's creepy as is in game, so the fact you're somehow making her worse! So excited to see where you're taking this!
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MagicInTheWater on Chapter 20 Tue 04 Mar 2025 07:14AM UTC
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Trikucian on Chapter 20 Tue 04 Mar 2025 08:37AM UTC
Last Edited Fri 05 Sep 2025 02:20AM UTC
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MagicInTheWater on Chapter 20 Fri 07 Mar 2025 06:56AM UTC
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