Comment on Crybaby: Aftercare

  1. RandomRize on Chapter 20 Thu 28 Aug 2025 06:04PM UTC

    Okay, so, this is so amazing that you could literally write and publish your own book, what the heck?!

    The writing is immaculate, with imagery that perfectly varies between being hidden behind subtext and then the characters directly thinking what they are feeling (like in the beginning where we go through Bertolt’s mind and showing all his anger with every fucked up thing that has happened to him). But even in the beginning, it isn’t directly told to us that he’s angry, he doesn’t go on a monologue that says, “I’m angry at all the things that has happened,” no it goes into a very realistic anger spiral, that seem so layered, giving it a little bit of subtext.
    And then there’s the lines, where you really had to read between the lines, like:

    > When they landed in Marley, Zeke made sure to leave first, stepping quickly down the gangplank and into a waiting car, long before everyone else, and especially long before Reiner.
    And when the ten-man security force sent by General Magath opened the door to the cabin that had become Reiner’s padded cell, armed with sedatives and paralytics and strict instructions to debilitate, but not kill, they were all expecting to be charged by the Armored,
    Reiner sat, grey and stone-faced, on the edge of his berth. When the door opened and he was confronted by the sharp ends of guns, he stood, held his hands up, and walked off the ship at the calm center of a ring of nervous soldiers.

    - Here you perfectly showcase Marley’s hostility towards the eldians as well as displaying just how tired of everything Reiner is. And then you explain it yourself with beautiful proses.

    This variation makes the whole story not too flowery, but not too direct either. It carries so much subtext that it really makes you feel all the layers of the characters emotions, and makes you actually have to think with the story.

    I also really LOOOVE this:
    > He took a deep breath and settled into his seat, balancing his weapon between his boots. He’d gotten good at this part, from sitting in different chairs in different private places with his thumb on the trigger.
    Bertolt, are you there?
    The rifle was cold against the roof of his mouth. He waited, with irrational hope fluttering in his chest.
    — I love how you didn’t use any filters, like: “he took his rifle and put it in his mouth” we already know that the gun is in his mouth by how you described the sensation against it, it’s insinuated, and actually a real writing tip a lot of writers would recommend. Amazingly written!

    And then you actually added all these letters Reiner wrote all these years??? Gut punch! Absolutely heartbreaking. We really get to see Reiner just spiral over Bertolt’s death.

    This is such a powerful and gut-wrenching piece of writing.
    Reiner’s voice and inner torment is written completely to feel like the author himself has written this, but even better and more in depth, if that makes sense? It feels both raw and true to AOT.

    The way you framed his grief over Bertolt as something haunts him, turning him into the kind of phantom that infects everything around him, was MUAH! Cheff’s kiss!

    I love how you wove together his rage, his desperate clinging to memory, and his broken, obsessive tenderness toward Bertolt and all the people he has bonded with in the Scout.

    The sections where Reiner talks to Bertolt directly are devastating. They feel like a mix of prayer, confession, and madness, and the repetition (“please please please please”) hit hard. It really shows how grief can spiral into obsession when there’s no closure.

    The structural shifts between narrative and Reiner’s fragmented inner monologues kept the pacing gripping. His progression from violent despair, to numb indifference, to finding some love again with the Warrior kids, and then back into suicidal resolve, only to be "saved" by the cruel irony of his Titan powers, was so tragic.
    That tonal whiplash feels exactly like Reiner: a man who keeps surviving against his own will.

    Also, the details you chose (scrubbing his own brains off the wall, the frog memory with Bertolt, his bitterness about sleeping with others) made the emotions feel tangible and specific. They ground the grief in lived experience instead of abstract angst, which makes it all the more heartbreaking.

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    1. string_of_hearts on Chapter 20 Sat 30 Aug 2025 05:50AM UTC

      You are way too kind and wow you caught like EVERYTHING I tried to put into this chapter, and I feel like you looked really deep and found some stuff I didn’t know was there. Like the cold gun barrel thing and not being too expository about it. That’s like, actually amazing advice because I didn’t consciously think about it that way when I wrote it, but now it’s something I can pay attention to and that’s mad beneficial to helping me become a better writer. So THANK YOU.

      "Reiner: a man who keeps surviving against his own will.” - so well put. That really sums him up in a way, a human embodiment of survivor’s guilt. Even with this being a fix-it, I always feel so sad when I write him, and when watch earlier episodes where he’s all strong and boisterous (even if he was already super damaged), because it hurts knowing how life ends up gradually sucking him dry.

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