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They stared at each other the pain neither of them new had begun to fade cashing back over them. Ed swallowed against the lump forming in his throat as he watched Oswald. The smaller man was furious an anger Ed had never seen directed at him before, at least not from Oswald, he shivered. For the first time since he met him Edward Nygma feared The Penguin.
Oswald was shaking trying to contain his rage, his hands clasped tight around the metal bars turning his knuckles white, and his teeth grounds together in a way that look almost painful, his eyes spoke to Ed of a fate worse than death.
“How?” it came out as a sort of croaked whisper.
Ed wasn’t even sure whether he was asking how Oswald was alive, how Oswald was feeling or how Oswald came to be in a cage at The Court of Owls. Ed’s brilliant mind had failed him it’d gone blank.
“You don’t need to know that! All you need to know is that as soon as I’m out of here you’re dead Nygma!” Oswald spat venomously through the bars and it took all Ed had not to flinch.
Nygma, not Ed, Nygma. Apparently Ed had hurt Oswald so much he could no longer bear to call him by his given name, couldn’t bear to associate the man who’d tried to destroy him with the friend he’d so loved.
‘Good!’ Ed thought that was what he’d wanted wasn’t it? But then it hadn’t brought him any comfort he’d just miss his friend, gotten high, killed some people and gotten spirited away by a mysterious court that he was no closer to getting answers from.
Ed sat on the floor of the cage, against the bars and well away from Oswald least he try and grab for him again. After a few moments Oswald turned his back to Ed and slid down the bars to the floor as well.
Ed had hurt Oswald too much he realised he’d gone too far because, after everything, he’d never hated Oswald not in the way Oswald now seemed to hate him. Sure Ed had been angry more so than he’d ever been before but he didn’t hate Oswald and all killing him had done was serve to show Ed how much he enjoyed Oswald’s company. In truth he was, in a way, relived to see Oswald alive once more.
“I missed you.” Ed hadn’t meant to say it, not out loud anyway, but he had done, the ball was in Oswald’s court now.
“Don’t you dare say that to me not after what you did” Oswald shook his head still refusing to look at Ed.
“It’s true.” Like it or not they were both stuck here in a place where all they could throw at each other were words and Ed knew they either worked through this now or when they got out they’d tear each other apart and even as ‘The Riddler’ he didn’t think he could make it through that a second time.
“Then maybe you should have thought of that before you shot me!”
Anger shot through Ed although he wasn’t entirely sure what he was expecting, of course Oswald was going to be difficult he was The Penguin and Ed had shot him as well as some other stuff Ed had once been proud of.
“I’m sorry Oswald I really am but you’re not innocent in this either. We both made mistakes” Ed snapped glaring at the back of Oswald’s head.
“You knew her a week, Nygma, compared to what you did to me killing her was nothing!”
Ed took a few deep breaths to calm himself he needed to make Oswald see things his way and to do that he had to explain this properly without just yelling his hurt at the former mayor. He needed Oswald to understand. Ed spoke slowly, softly something he didn’t normally do but he needed Oswald to listen and also to distract himself from the awful hallucinated version of himself laughing and making sarcastic comments just beyond the cages. This was too important.
“That’s why I did what I did because you just don’t get it you can’t see what you did.”
Oswald finally stood and turned to face him none of the rage gone from his features.
“Then enlighten me Riddler bestow upon the great understanding you seem have that I don’t or in other words just whine about how I took away the woman you knew all of a week and destroyed your chances of living a normal life… for all of the month it would have taken you to kill her too! You didn’t even love her you just like that she looked like your ex!” Oswald yelled spittle flying from his mouth, his hands balled to fist at his side.
The calm Ed had been trying to maintain snapped he stood walking to the bars to face Oswald all sense of self-preservation gone.
“Maybe!” Ed yelled, “Maybe I did only like her because she looked like Kristen, Maybe I would have killed her, Maybe I’d have found I didn’t really love her and called it off but you never even gave me a chance. You couldn’t even try and fight for me fairly!”
Hurt flashed briefly across Oswald’s face before settling back to anger as he asked bitterly
“And if I had would it have made a difference would you have chosen me?”
Ed looked at floor swallowed and thought. He tried to imagine the situation Isabella or Oswald. He thought of Oswald recovering in his flat, visiting him in Arkham, bailing him out, giving him a job, welcoming him into his home, playing nice as mayor or controlling Gotham’s underworld, making him tea after The Sirens incident. He thought of Oswald’s power despite his height and limp of how cunning and manipulative he was, how clever he truly was and he thought of Oswald’s softer side the side reserved purely for Ed. Then he thought of Isabella the night he met her and how she liked riddles and how sweet she was and…and…and that was it. For the first time Ed realised how little he truly knew about her and suddenly the theory that he only liked her for her resemblance to Kristen held a lot more ground. He shook his head to clear it, not important right now.
“I-I don’t know Oswald, I don’t know what I’d have done.”
Ed suddenly notice he was holding his hands about his middle the nervous, none threatening stance he often defaulted to back at the GCPD and quickly changed it so they were behind his back.
“You’d have chosen her, I’d have killed her and you’d have betrayed me. Nothing would have changed.”
Oswald seemed calmer now he just stood a bitter smile on his face.
“You say I betrayed you but you betrayed me first.” There he said it the words he needed to say and the shock and confusion on Oswald’s face was no longer a surprise. For one reason or another Oswald just didn’t understand.
“I was willing to do anything for you Oswald and I trusted you. In turn you used that trust to take away the woman I loved, regardless of whether it was real or not, you killed her and you used my pain to try and draw me closer to you then use my trust to try to frame someone else,” Ed took one more deep breath steadying himself preparing to lay himself completely vulnerable to Oswald, “that hurt Oswald, more than losing Isabella. The knowledge that you could hurt me like that as if it were nothing like it was just another hit in Gotham’s underworld. I couldn’t understand it you claimed to love me yet you actions suggested I meant nothing. You betrayed me, you hurt me and you couldn’t even see it.”
Ed didn’t like telling people anything about himself especially when it came to how he was feeling hence no one knew about his hallucinations or about his abusive father and he didn’t particularly want to tell Oswald about this either but he had to if he wanted Oswald back, which at some point in all this he’d decided he did, Oswald needed to hear it not matter how hard it would be.
“I regret shooting you. I missed you. I started taking drugs. I was trying to find myself, to prove I didn’t need you and I don’t but I think I’m lost without you.”
Oswald stood before Ed his eyes sad his mouth agape and Ed smiled. At one time Oswald had seen Ed as no one else had but he had been blinded first by jealousy then by rage and now he was finally seeing Ed again. Oswald nodded in understanding it was his turn. Make or break.
“I didn’t know how to react. I’d never loved someone before and you loved another. I guess I tried to solve it that same way I solve all my problems huh. I learnt to late that that wasn’t the way,” Oswald let out a dry, humourless laugh, “I’m so sorry Ed”
Ed allowed himself to breath properly.
“I’m sorry too, Oswald, I went too far and the things I did to you were truly awful.”
Oswald sat deflated and the pain of standing to much for his bad leg so Ed copied him.
“What now?” Oswald asked not sure what to say or do having apologised.
“What do you want to happen?” Ed was just as unsure as Oswald they’d made progress but how did they come back from this. It wasn’t like they could just fall back to their old ways just because a few words had been said.
“I don’t know. I came here to kill you but I still love you Ed. I shouldn’t and it doesn’t make sense but I love you.”
Ed reached through the bars of the cages taking Oswald’s hand in his looking into his surprised eyes.
“Would you like to try?”
Oswald audibly gasped not believing what he was hearing.
“What?”
Ed ran his thumb across the back of Oswald’s hand.
“I know we can’t go straight back to where we were let alone more but we can try if you’d like to.”
Oswald looked down at his hand in Ed’s and tears threaten to spill over. He so wanted to just say yes.
“But you don’t love me.”
Ed shook his head trying to think how to explain this.
“I-I think I do. It took longer to figure out than I’m used to because I love you differently than I loved Kristen or Isabella because I loved what they represented I loved them because they were sweet and normal and normal used to be what I wanted. I don’t want that anymore. You made me what I am, showed me how to really be me and who I am now loves you for who you are. I think that I’d have realised that if I’d spent more time with Isabella. I’d have needed more and she couldn’t have dealt with who I really am. She held me back where you pull me forward. Does that make any sense” Ed wasn’t sure he entirely understood what he meant himself but then he never had been good at explaining himself.
“I think so but I think we’ve established I’m not good at this but yes I’d like to try. It’ll take time for me to fully forgive you and that may show from time to time but I’d like to try.”
Oswald beamed interlacing his fingers with Ed’s and Ed couldn’t help but beam back
“Just so you know,” Oswald chuckled, “as soon as we get out of here I’m going to slap you in your handsome face”
Ed laughed too “I’ll be sure to remove my glasses before hand then. Now onto how we actually get out of here?”
FIN