Chapter Text
WT: So??
SM: So what?
WT: Are you gonna send it or what?
SM: I did
WT: No
WT: You didn’t
SM: Haha, very funny Wendy.
SM: You know, joking about a man’s dick size can really hurt him. :(
WT: No Stan, I’m serious. I haven’t gotten anything.
SM: Check again, coz I’m sure I sent it
A notification popped up at the top of his screen, a message from Kyle.
KB: STAN!!
KB: WTF??!!!!!???
Stan froze as he exited his chat with Wendy, the screen before him making it clear that he had in fact not sent his dick pic to Wendy. It had instead gone to his long time best friend, Kyle.
“Shit! Shitshitshit oh my god what the hell?!” He pulled up his chat with Wendy.
WT: Nope, still nothing.
WT: Stan?
WT: Babe you still there?
SM: Sorry, um
SM: Can I put our convo on hold for a sec?
WT: Um? Fine?
SM: Thanks
He tapped on Kyle’s username, opening the chat.
SM: THAT WASN’T MEANT FOR YOU I SWEAR
KB: WHAT THE HELL?!?!!
KB: WHY ARE YOU SNAPCHATTING YOUR DICK
KB: THAT’S SO STUPID
SM: Shut up man
SM: Wendy’s overseas
SM: Don’t tell me you haven’t done it
KB: I’ve never snapchatted my dick to my best friend
SM: It’s not like we’ve never seen each other’s dicks before
KB: NEVER HARD!!!!
SM: Omg stop
SM: Please
SM: Just forget it ever happened
Kyle replayed your snap!
Kyle took a screenshot!
SM: KYLE WHAT THE FUCK
SM: WHY
SM: I CANT WTF
KB: Who knows when this might come in handy?
SM:…
SM:………….DO YOU EVEN REALISE HOW WEIRD THAT SOUNDS???
KB: OH GOD
KB: I MEANT AS BLACKMAIL
KB: NOT ANYTHING WEIRD
SM: DELETE IT
KB: Nope
SM: FUCK KYLE DELETE IT
KB: Not happening
SM: I HOPE SOMEONE GOES THROUGH YOUR PHONE AND FINDS IT YOU PERVY ASSHOLE
SM: THATLL RAISE SOME QUESTIONS
SM: NOONE CAN PROVE ITS MINE
KB: Sure about that?
KB: I know a few people who probably could.
SM: ASGFKJAISLNDKJ FUCK YOU KYLE
Powering off his phone, he collapsed hard on his back in bed. He really didn’t want to hear anymore smartass remarks. Stan sighed. He had no energy to be mad about something that was his fault to begin with. A chuckle escaped his lips. Imagine his face when he opened it. He would have been so freaked out. Did he actually look? Like, when he replayed it? He fidgeted, a familiar feeling of heat pooling in his abdomen.
“Shit.” He’d been hard only minutes ago, but he’d forgotten in amongst all the stress of the lost dick pic situation, and it had died down. He tried to ignore it, switching his mind to other things, but it kept reverting back to Kyle. Remember that time in class when Kyle- No. Would he ‘use’ his screenshot? Stop. Has he ever seen another dude’s hard dick? He’s not gay stupid. And neither are you! Wendy, think of Wendy, she’s your girlfriend. Boobs. Remember when she sucked you off the other day? How hot was that? Imagine what Kyle would- I’m not gay! In a last ditch effort, he turned his phone back on. Kyle had sent one more message.
KB: Love you too <3
Those three words sent the tiny bit of self-control Stan had been gripping onto for dear life out the window. He closed his eyes as his fingers found the base of his cock, wrapping around it. A soft moan escaped his lips as he dragged his hand slowly upwards, then back down. His thumb brushed over the tip. He imagined Kyle above him, one hand on his dick and the other tracing lines on his stomach. He groaned. Kyle was shirtless, in loose fitting tracksuit pants. He envisioned the constellation of freckles that decorated the boy’s face and shoulders, the bumpy scar on his abdomen from his kidney transplant.
He picked up the pace. The piercing green eyes. The intense red curls. He’s wearing a mischievous smirk, his pale skin flustered. A hand goes to his mouth and he bites down to hide his moans. He imagines Kyle telling him to keep quiet; his parents are downstairs. He switches the hand in his mouth for his shirt. Kyle’s voice is in his ear, echoing through his head. He thrusts up into his hand, becoming unbearably close to release. A high pitched moan is muffled by the fabric as he continues thrusting up.
He comes with a barely muffled scream of his best-friend’s name. He lays there for a minute, trying to catch his breath and let his mind catch up. When it did, he rolled onto his side, burying his face into the pillow, the shame and embarrassment of his act sinking in. “Fuck,” he drew out the expletive, “I can’t believe I just did that.”
He felt gross, and not only from the fact he now needed a shower and a change of sheets. He’d just gotten off to thoughts of his best friend, a man. Should I tell Wendy? No, it’s not like I actually did anything with Kyle, it was just some stupid fantasy. And I’m not in love with the guy or anything, he was just in my head at the time. Because I was angry, obviously. Do I tell her about the pic? I mean, sending it to Kyle would be better than having sent it to Bebe or something. She won’t let me hear the end of it. I’ll just tell her… I must have accidentally deleted it instead of sending it. Yeah, that works.
He pushed himself out of bed, feeling only marginally better about things. Not only was his long-time girlfriend overseas with her family, but now he was resorting to fantasy cheating on her. With his best friend. Who was a guy. The shame came creeping back and he contemplated crawling back into bed. He pressed on, making it to the bathroom with thankfully no familial encounters. He turned on the stream of water, stripping and getting underneath it. He let the water rush over him, closing his eyes and thinking of puppies. Puppies weren’t stressing him. Puppies weren’t the best friend he’d jerked off to, or his overseas girlfriend, or school, or work. They were just puppies, bumbling and living life. He sighed, thoughts of his gay dog Sparky coming to mind and again reminding him of Kyle. He turned off the water and dried off, tired of thinking.
He flopped back onto his bed, picking up his phone. Kyle’s message still sat there.
KB: Love you too <3
A pang of guilt shot through his chest and he exited the chat. Stop stressing. It’s not like he knows you jerked off to him. Stan sighed, opening Wendy’s chat.
SM: Sorry, dad came in
WT: Right.
SM: I must have accidentally deleted the pic
SM: I can’t find it
WT: Sure
SM: What?
WT: Nothing
WT: Your dad was there for a long time
SM: Seriously Wendy, we’ve talked about this
WT: I can’t help it Stan, you’ve done it before.
SM: Wendy, think about it, you’re not even making sense
SM: And that thing with Bebe happened in elementary school and wasn’t even a thing
SM: It happened to all the boys
SM: You actually kissed Cartman once
SM: I should be worrying about you.
WT: Whatever
SM: I’m going to sleep if you’re just gonna keep using that stupid tone and not talk to me
WT: Fine, fuck off
Stan put his phone down on his bedside table, sighing loudly. Wendy was the jealous type, and it didn’t help that their relationship had been falling apart recently. They’d both agreed that being apart for a month during summer break would be good for them, but now he was starting to worry it was just going to drive the wedge further; she’d only been gone four days and they were already fighting about something stupid. They’d been together since third grade, with only a few minor scuffles and break ups, but now it was like a switched had been flicked and they were suddenly incompatible.
He closed his eyes, really wanting the day to end and really not wanting to dwell on his failing love life.