Chapter Text
Kurt didn’t have class until ten that morning and no one would have faulted him for wanting to get a bit of extra rest. His school schedule was admittedly quite overloaded with extra classes and workshops on top of his required curriculum. While he still needed one additional course to be completely caught up with the rest of his class, his ambitious schedule was at least as much due to choice as necessity. The past summer of performing had woken a hunger in him for honing his craft that was a little bit intimidating at times, even to himself. Kurt was keenly aware of how far he’d come in such a brief period of time, but also how much more he needed to learn.
He had seen clearly that raw talent, which he had in abundance, would only get him so far. New York was brimming with talented performers and it would be easy for him to get lost in the crowd. He needed to learn as much as he could possibly absorb and get every bit of experience that he could scrape together. It was probably a very good thing that his student advisor was able to rein him in a little bit, otherwise between his heavy class schedule and his job he’d probably burn himself out before the fall semester was over.
Looking across the table to his lover, Kurt mused that when he and Adam decided to live together that neither of them expected that they would actually see less of one another than they did before. They probably should have anticipated that to at least some degree now that Adam was no longer a student at NYADA. They wouldn’t get to enjoy chance meetings in the hallways or quiet moments stolen between classes.
Adam’s schedule was no easier than Kurt’s, as he was currently holding down two jobs and attending every audition that his agent was able to schedule him for. As a result of their harried schedules, the early morning was the one time during the week that they would be able to spent together most days. Even though it meant a bit of lost sleep for Kurt on the days when he could rest in, it was worth it to have a little uninterrupted time without one of them running out the door. A few moments to share a cup of coffee and catch up before the day began was the single most important ritual that Kurt insisted on following.
“So, is Ms. July still being a total dragon?” Adam asked, a sly twinkle in his eyes as he buttered his toast. “You were pretty stiff yesterday, and not in a good way.”
Kurt couldn’t refrain from making an ironic grin, as he’d been doing a very commendable impression of the Tin Woodsman before his oil treatment after class. “A bit,” he admitted. “But it’s a different now. I mean, she’s still insulting and uses those ridiculous nicknames depending on how she feels about you at a given moment. I’m still China Doll, in case you were wondering.”
Adam grinned appreciatively, giving his boyfriend a teasing lift of his eyebrow.
“But it’s a much, much smaller class now that she’s scared off the clumsy and the weak. The good side is that we get a lot more individual attention. Or is that the bad side? I can never decide.” Kurt shrugged as he considered his own question. “But the ones who made it this far seem to have earned her respect. At least as much respect as she’s willing to give.”
His knife scrapped at the nearly empty jar in his hand, trying to get out the last traces of jam at the bottom. “We have to tell your mom to send more marmalade,” Kurt insisted. “I haven’t been able to find this brand anywhere.”
“I’ll tell her the next time we speak, love,” Adam promised. He chewed thoughtfully on his toast, gazing at the younger man. “How is your voice class going? I’m sure that Madam Tibideaux is still running you ragged.”
Kurt sighed, having bemoaned before about how the current semester was going to be challenging as far as his voice training went. “I had a meeting with her the other day and she’s made it clear that while she’s pleased about my current abilities, she has ‘expectations’ for my continued development.” He held up his hands to make quotation marks.
Adam nodded understandingly. “Teachers like her are always hardest on the ones that they see the most potential in,” he reminded the younger man. “Wasn’t she especially brutal towards Rachel at times?”
Kurt nodded, wincing at the memory. “She’s an absolute monster if she thinks that you’re not working hard or not performing up to her standards. I suppose that I should feel pretty privileged that she considers me worth the attention. But two voice sections as well as individual instruction? I sometimes wonder if I’m biting off more than I can chew.”
Adam smiled kindly, squeezing Kurt’s hand lovingly. “I’ve never seen you falter in front of a challenge before, and this won’t be any different.”
Kurt nodded, but couldn’t help from sighing morosely. “Between Madam Tibideaux, Ms. July and Professor Collins, I’m being put through the wringer this semester. I’m surprised I was able to walk home yesterday.”
Adam reached out to smooth Kurt’s hair back from his face, his expression understanding. “Well, it’s a good thing that we’ve got a proper bath so you can soak away the aches and pains,” he consoled.
“I’m fully stocked up on Epsom salts and Ricola.”
The older man chuckled. “Always the practical one,” he praised. “I wish that I had half your determination, love. You put me to shame sometimes.”
That earned a reproving stare from Kurt. “Oh hush,” Kurt admonished. “You traveled halfway around the world by yourself for school and work. You can’t tell me that you don’t have determination.”
The resolve in his lover’s voice brought a flush to Adam’s face. “Don’t mind me,” he insisted, his cheeks flushing a bit in embarrassment. “It’s just my nerves getting the best of me again. I’m just going to be anxious until I get another job lined up.”
Kurt’s gaze softened in sympathy, knowing that Adam had reasons to be a little anxious. While it had been just about a month since they finished their run with the Shakespeare festival and Adam had been getting good feedback from his auditions, he hadn’t been offered an acting job yet. His agent was encouraged by the number of call backs Adam was starting to receive and remained confident that he would be able to land a role before long. Adam knew that it wasn’t reasonable to expect him to find anything so quickly after graduation and that it would take him a bit of time to find the right part.
But that meant putting himself through the audition mill and facing repeated rejection while making due with the jobs that he’d managed to line up; working at a local café and tending bar several nights a week. He would be able to manage financially for the foreseeable future, but it was difficult at times to keep his confidence up when no real offers seemed forthcoming. Things that they planned, like finding a larger flat, were on hold until they knew what would happen for his employment prospects.
“We knew that it would take a little bit of time,” Kurt consoled. “I know that something will come through for you soon.”
Adam smiled thankfully, grateful for his lover’s support. “I really shouldn’t complain,” he granted. “I’m just out of school, and I don’t know of anyone from my class in anything very much as of yet. The fact that I’ve been getting call backs is encouraging. Professor Mackey even called to make sure that I didn’t chicken out of my meeting with the production company.”
“Well, you’re entitled to feel a little sorry for yourself every now and then. And it’s my job to encourage you and cheer you up,” Kurt reminded him. “I was talking to Jules and everyone wants to go out for a few drinks. Maybe an Apples mini-reunion might lift your spirits. Interested?”
Kurt didn’t miss the flash of longing in Adam’s eyes, but after a moment of consideration, the older man shook his head. “I’m afraid I can’t, sweetheart. I’m working until midnight tonight.”
Kurt bit back his disappointment, but quickly rallied. “Then maybe you can swing by the school tomorrow. We’re having a practice session, and…”
“Darling… thank you,” Adam said sincerely. “But I don’t think that would be a very good idea.”
Kurt cocked his head in confusion, looking at his boyfriend in concern. “Why not?” he asked. “Everyone really misses you. They’re always asking for you. And there wouldn’t have been any Apples without our Adam.”
The Englishman gave him a fond smile, but Kurt didn’t mist the regret lurking in those lovely blue eyes. “I’m not a student anymore,” Adam reminded his young lover. “I would love to see them, but I think we need to give it a little more time while you all figure out how to manage without me putting in my two cents at every turn.”
Kurt sighed, knowing that Adam was probably right and this hadn’t been an easy decision for him to make. It would have been painfully simple for him to fine excuses to show up on regular occasions and to offer his advice and feedback on what they were doing. He would have quickly slipped back into a leadership role and that would rob another student of getting the opportunity to lead the group, to help shape it and continue its evolution. Kurt could tell that the thought of leaving the Apples behind, at least in an official capacity hurt Adam. That didn’t change the fact that it was probably the right thing for him to do.
“All right,” he finally relented with obvious reluctance. “We won’t pester you, but you have to promise that you won’t stay away forever. They’re your friends too.”
Knowing better than to try arguing the point with his determined boyfriend even if Kurt was giving in for the moment, Adam nodded in acquiescence. “I won’t avoid them,” he promised. He didn’t dare because he knew that the group was more than capable, and more importantly that they were more than willing to carry him off bodily if he tried to hide from them for too long.
Checking his watch, Adam sighed. “I’d better get going. Wish me luck?”
Kurt smiled and leaned over the table, giving his boyfriend a warm kiss on the lips. “You’re going to be great,” he insisted. “Have a good day. And call me when you get a chance.”
“I will,” Adam promised, giving Kurt a loving smile. “Have fun in class.”
“Should I wait up for you tonight?” Kurt asked as Adam picked up the leather messenger bag that had been part of his graduation present from his parents.
“No darling. You go to bed. And don’t worry about me… I’ll have time to come home and change before going to work and I’ll make sure that I eat,” he promised.
Kurt couldn’t resist kissing him again. “Wake me up when you get home,” he ordered firmly before letting Adam leave. He felt his smile fade a bit as the door closed behind Adam, their little apartment no longer quite so warm and homey with him gone.
Sighing to himself, he got up and made himself a fresh cup of coffee and found his school bag. He had a bit of time before he needed to get dressed and he might as well use the opportunity to get a jump on his class work.
* * *
Adam tried valiantly to avoid visibly fidgeting as he waited to be called in for his meeting, very much wanting to present a dependable, professional image. This might very well be the single most important meeting of his life and he couldn’t risk screwing it up by looking nervous or overly eager. Just play it cool, Crawford, he told himself firmly. He tried to keep in mind that they were the ones who wanted to meet him. That had to mean something, right?
He certainly looked the part of a seasoned professional, dressed in the slacks and sport jacket that Kurt had selected for him with a mind on having him look well put together for this meeting but no too stuffy for his call back in the afternoon. He had a folder with a printout of his script and some notes that he’d written for himself about the revisions he’d worked on since he’d staged his play at school. Hopefully it would be enough to convince the producer that it was a solid enough work to bring to the stage.
The past few weeks had been challenging for Adam and he sought work in his highly competitive industry. His agent was getting him plenty of auditions to attend and he’d made it through several call backs, but so far he hadn’t been offered a job yet. Rationally he knew that it would take a bit of time to land a role and he had enough work to keep him afloat financially until he did. All things considered, he really was in a pretty good place. That didn’t ease his more than understandable concerns about his prospects.
He had talent, and he certainly had the training that should make him a desirable prospect for any number of productions. The lack of a tangible job offer, though, was starting to wear on him. The longer he went without any firm offers, the more anxious he became. At first he’d been worried about choosing the right role for himself. Now he was just hoping to be offered something… anything… just so he’d know that he wasn’t wasting his time.
Kurt had been absolutely wonderful in supporting him during this trying time, but he didn’t want to burden his boyfriend who had his own worries. Kurt had school to focus on and he didn’t need the distraction of soothing Adam’s unreasonable expectations.
The office door opened and Adam looked up expectantly. The producer was a man who looked to be around his father’s age, but much fussier looking in appearance. Kurt would insist that the man looked like he probably should be trading stocks than staging plays and musicals, but his welcoming smile seemed pleasant enough. “Adam, why don’t you come on in,” he offered invitingly. “We’ve got a lot to talk about.”
Well, that could either be a very good or bad thing Adam thought to himself as he rose from his seat and accepted the friendly handshake. Professor Mackey had insisted that Martin Glass would give his script a fair reading and offer some good feedback and he wanted to trust in his old professor. He wouldn’t have advised Adam to meet with someone that wouldn’t be receptive. The last thing he’d want for his student was to have his first experience be with someone who would reject his script out of hand, or who wouldn’t take him seriously since he was right out of school.
The office was neatly appointed save for the desk that was covered with folders and bound scripts. “You’ll have to forgive the mess,” Mr. Glass apologized. “My secretary has the day off and we’re in the middle of reviewing a number of prospective shows. I’m afraid that it gets away from me a bit.”
“I can certainly understand. My place gets a bit disorderly when I’m working on something because I get too single-minded,” Adam said agreeably, though he hoped that his script hadn’t vanished into that pile somewhere. To his relief, it seemed like Mr. Glass had some kind of system in his clutter and his script was plucked from the top of one of the piles and moved to a clear spot on the desk.
“Can I get you anything before we start? Coffee? Or would you prefer tea?”
“No thanks. I’m quite curious to find out what you thought about the script,” Adam said, unable to resist pressing what he was there for. “Professor Mackey speaks very highly of you.”
Mr. Glass didn’t seem at all offended by Adam’s directness. “I’ve known Gerry Mackey for more years that either of us is comfortable admitting to and we’ve worked together quite a bit,” he acknowledged. “He’s steered a lot of talented writers in my direction. Some of them were former students of his, but this is the first time he insisted that I look at a script written by someone who was still a student of his at the time. And I’m not going to lie… I was a little dubious at first. I’ve read more than my fair share of scripts by young writers that came across as amateurish.”
Adam swallowed tightly, not quite sure what to make of that statement.
Mr. Glass turned a confiding smile to him. “I should know by now to stop doubting him on his judgment.”
It took Adam a moment to work the nervous dryness from his mouth and he could speak. “So it was good?” he asked.
“It’s got some serious potential,” Mr. Glass stated. “Now to be sure, it’s a bit rough around the edges and as it’s written now, it’s a very small show. Gerry sent me the video of your staging and direction and I have a better sense of what you were aiming for with this story. The script is a little bare on the details that came out in the actual performance because you were directing and knew what you wanted. If someone else was directing, it probably would have been an entirely different show.”
Adam felt himself wince inwardly at the criticism, but he knew it to be fair.
“Now, that’s not necessarily a bad thing,” Mr. Glass insisted. “That can sometimes give directors a lot of freedom to put their own stamp on a show, but I think that your own vision as a writer gets a bit lost. And it’s a pretty short show, so I think there’s plenty of room to expand on the storyline and fill in some of those blanks.”
Adam must have made some show of distress because Mr. Glass offered him an encouraging smile. “But your script does have good bones and the overall story is very engaging. The two characters are fantastic and I appreciate that you managed to avoid a lot of clichés that we usually see in small shows like this. I think that there’s some really good stuff to work with here.”
Adam quickly rallied, wanting to make the best impression he possibly could. “I’ve already worked on some revisions,” he offered, checking his notes. “Professor Mackey made some suggestions and I worked on the script over the summer.”
“Well, I trust what Gerry would have advised. And as I said, I do see a lot of real potential here that I would like to see achieved.”
Adam looked up from his notes hopefully. “Then you’re interested in producing my script?” he couldn’t help from asking.
“It’s definitely got my attention. I don’t see us being able to get it staged for this season,” Mr. Glass admitted. “The script is still too rough and as I said, we would need to expand the plotline a bit for an appropriate run time. I don’t think we would be able to get everything ready in time for a spring opening.
“But I do think that we can look forward to next winter as a real possibility,” the producer said thoughtfully. “I think that we could get a positive response from one of the smaller off-Broadway venues because looking at the list of shows debuting this year, I’m expecting that there should be a lot of openings as shows shut down. But I would want to see a full rewrite of the script and getting it up to two acts before we take that step.”
Adam nodded eagerly. “I can do that,” he insisted. “There are things that I wanted to explore in the storyline that I didn’t have the chance to do with the original staging. I was very much limited on the stage time for my project. And Professor Mackey offered to continue advising me and will review my rewrites.”
“Well, I’m looking forward to seeing what you come up with,” Mr. Glass assured him. “Once we get the script in order we can consider the timing of a run. That will give us enough time to line up the right venue and getting a director on board.”
Adam blinked in surprise. “I… I’m sorry, but I’d assumed that I’d be directing.”
Mr. Glass looked at him patiently and suddenly Adam felt foolish for what was clearly as serious presumption. “I know that you directed your school project, and you did a very credible job,” the producer granted. “It’s obvious that you’ve got good instincts in that area and I understand that you have a pretty deep personal investment in this script. But I think that the show would benefit from a more seasoned hand guiding things. We know it’s your writing and we want to make sure that we bring in someone who can help make it the best show it can be.”
Adam nodded numbly, feeling his cheeks burning in mortification. He sounded like a spoiled child when he should be delighted that this man was even considering backing his little play.
“Besides, I think you’re going to be too busy since we would definitely want to bring you in to play Daniel,” the producer added. “I thought that your performance was wonderful. It was complex and nuanced and really remarkable when you consider that you were directing at the same time. I’m curious to see what you would do under the guidance of a director who shared your vision.”
Adam looked up at him in surprise and it took him a moment to grasp what he was being told. “I…” He paused to clear his throat. “I wasn’t sure of what kind of involvement you’d want me to have in the production.”
“It was something that we definitely considered after seeing your performance. Daniel is the core of the play and it seems fitting to have the man who both created him and originated the part get to play him. Now I understand that we’re talking about something that may not happen until a year from now at the earliest,” Mr. Glass granted. “We don’t know where you’ll be and what you may be doing at the time but I’d like to keep this on our radars because you’re our first choice for the part.
“So let’s focus on getting through the first steps and have you do that rewrite. We’ll give you feedback and once the script is in order, I’ll be able to present it to our financial backers and we can see about putting it on track to be staged. This is just the first step of what’s going to be a long process,” he warned Adam. “But I think the material is worthy so I’m hoping that we will be able to start moving on it in a few months.”
When Adam finally walked out of the office, he felt physically drained and not totally able to shake the feeling of disappointment. He knew that by all rights the meeting had gone exceedingly well. To be told that the producer was not only interested in his play but that they wanted him to reprise his role in it should have been gratifying, but he felt quite deflated at the prospect of someone else directing. Rationally it made sense to bring in an experienced director since the backers would probably balk at financing a play with a first time writer and director. For all his personal investment in his play, he knew that he would need to step back a little and let more experienced hands help guide it.
And maybe it was unrealistic to have hoped that they would want to move on it more rapidly, but he hadn’t been able to totally tamp down the hope of staging his play more quickly. He was still in the process of finding work and having a clear timetable on his play would have relieved his anxiety over the issue. To find out that it would be at year, at the very least, before they would be able to stage his play was disheartening.
Checking his watch, he thought that Kurt should be done with his morning classes and might even be taking his lunch break. He’d been in Mr. Robson’s office longer than he’d expected to be. Getting out his phone, he dialed Kurt’s number and waited for his answer. He very much needed to hear Kurt’s voice.
“Hi sweetie!” Kurt answered brightly. “How did it go?”
“Not bad,” Adam admitted, the sound of the younger man’s voice immediately cheering him. “They’re interested, but they want a full rewrite of the script. And they want me to play Daniel if and when the play gets staged.”
“Really? That’s fantastic, babe!” Kurt exclaimed.
Adam couldn’t help from smiling. Kurt always was supportive and good at helping him put things in perspective. “I’m not going to lie… I was admittedly disappointed when Mr. Robson talked about bringing in another director, but that’s probably the best option and it will be interesting to get some unbiased direction. I just wish that it would be workable to get staged sooner than next year at the earliest.”
“That probably isn’t unreasonable,” Kurt acknowledged. “But seriously… they’re still interested in your play! And they want you in it! That’s really amazing.”
The words of encouragement soothed Adam’s admittedly hurt feelings. Things had gone better than he had any reasonable right to expect and Kurt helped him see rationally just what a huge accomplishment this had been.
“I’m glad you think so, sweetheart,” Adam said. “In the meantime, I’ve got just enough time to grab some lunch before my call back.”
“Call me afterwards,” Kurt insisted and Adam could all but feel the love from the younger man coming over the connection. “And good luck. We’re all cheering for you.”
“Love you, darling,” Adam answered. “Have fun in class.”
After speaking with Kurt, Adam left a voice mail for Professor Mackey, thanking him for setting up the meeting for him and letting him know that it had gone well. Checking the time, he decided to find something for a fast lunch because he hoped that he had a long and fruitful afternoon waiting for him.
* * *
Stepping out of his Comedy and Character class, Kurt knew that he had a bare twenty minutes before his voice session with Professor Collins. That would allow him just enough time to rush out to Starbucks to pick up a tea and he was going to need it to make it through his class.
Hurrying over to the coffee shop, he found a thankfully short line and put in his order. He was perusing the display case to see if there were any snacks to tempt him when he was tapped on the shoulder. Turning around, he found Mei grinning at him as she sipped her iced coffee. She looked absolutely adorable in her latest interpretation of Asian street fashion, pairing a frilly black dress with stockings decorated with kitty faces at her knees and chunky shoes.
“Hi Kurt,” she said brightly. His fellow Apple cocked her head at the large paper cup in his hand. “Afternoon refuel?”
Kurt smiled and shook his head. “More like a throat soother because I think that Professor Collins is in a conspiracy with Madam Tibideaux to see if they can break me this semester.”
Mei giggled playfully. “Well save some of that for tonight,” she warned. “Jules has very definite plans. Were you able to convince Adam to join us?”
Kurt’s smile faded a bit. “I’m afraid not,” he informed her. “He’s working a late shift at the bar. I probably won’t be seeing him until morning.”
“But Kurt, he hasn’t hung out with us at all since school started,” Mei reminded him. “We really miss him.”
“He knows that, hon,” Kurt assured her. “But he’s working and going to auditions all the time. It probably won’t ease up until he finds a role and can relax a little bit.
Mei’s expression wilted at Kurt’s explanation, but nodded in reluctant acceptance. “You’ll tell him that we’re all thinking about him?” she asked.
Kurt nodded, offering her a reassuring smile. “Of course I will. Mei, he knows that you all miss him,” he insisted. “He wants to make sure that he doesn’t step on anyone’s toes while we work out where the Apples go from here. We all need time to figure out how we move on going forward.”
She sighed, knowing that pressing the issue wouldn’t change things. “I’d better get going,” she sighed reluctantly. “I have my workshop starting in a little bit. I’ll see you later?”
“Of course!” Kurt promised. “I also have to run… if I’m late, Professor Collins will have my head on a platter.”
Mei smiled and kissed him gently on the cheek. “Go on… I’ll see you tonight.”
Kurt grabbed his cup and rushed back to campus as quickly as he could manage without giving himself a third degree burn. He all but ran through the front doors, nimbly dodging a pair of freshmen leaving the school for the day. He charged down the hallway and arrived at Professor Collin’s studio with a bare two minutes to spare. Just enough time to catch his breath before his session began.
Thankfully he knew Professor Collin’s habits and he had a chance to put his bag down and mentally settle before the hand on the old fashioned clock on the wall hit three and his instructor strolled in, followed by his assistant.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Hummel,” he greeted cheerfully. Professor Collins was the exact opposite of Madam Tibideaux in every manner possible; encouraging and approachable instead of demanding and imperious. But he was a serious instructor and wouldn’t waste his time on anyone who wasn’t willing to put in the work. There was no coaxing or cajoling into getting students to work with him. And Kurt had found that he was benefiting from both instructors. Seeing his development from different angles was pushing him in ways that that he wouldn’t have received from a single mentor.
“I hope that you’re ready to be put through your paces today,” Professor Collins warned genially.
Kurt nodded, taking his place next to the piano. “Yes sir.”
“Have you done your vocal warm-ups yet?”
“No sir,” Kurt said.
Professor Collins smiled kindly, giving his assistant a nod. The young woman sat down at the piano and set her hands on the keys, waiting for further instruction.
“Well, let’s not waste time then,” the teacher proposed. “We’ll start with scales.”
In his time at NYADA, Kurt’s voice had climbed a virtual Mount Everest of scales. Some singers might think that the exercise was beneath them, but Kurt recognized that this fundamental was one that would always serve his education well. To develop not just his voice, but his ear as well. To know what a note was supposed to sound like so that he could make sure that he preformed them with accuracy.
They started in the key of A, then A sharp. Three octaves each with his voice hitting each of the notes cleanly, going from the deepest tones of his range to his highest. The pianist guided his voice through the exercises, giving him the reference points and tempo. The exercises had become familiar enough but he knew not to get complacent because Professor Collins liked to throw in surprises here and there.
When he got up to the D sharp notes, Professor Collins called out, “Staccato, if you please Mr. Hummel. Let’s switch up the pace.”
That was harder, needing to hit notes cleanly and quickly with little recovery time between them. He had less time to think and focus and just had to throw himself completely into to exercise. Kurt knew the point of this exercise and he could see that it would not only strengthen his voice, but his instincts and ear as well. It would also expand the types of music that his voice could comfortably suit.
By the time they were finished with the F scale, Kurt felt a sense of relief and accomplishment. He could hear the improvement in his voice and his increasing strength. He was getting more confident about his abilities. He knew that his biggest disadvantage had been his lack of formal voice training and now that he was receiving it, the difference in his abilities as a singer was showing.
Professor Collins nodded approvingly. “Very nice, Mr. Hummel. Let’s move on to your breathing exercises. We’ll see if we can’t get a bit more strength for that upper range of yours.”
Kurt nodded and took a quick sip of tea. His work was just getting started.
* * *
Adam arrived back at the apartment, feeling better now that his call back was done. It seemed to have gone well and he felt that he was still in the running for that role. It might be off Broadway and a replacement role, but it was a good prospect and if he got the role it would certainly help in setting him on the road to working on a regular basis.
He tried to keep his spirits up, especially around Kurt. His lover had been so supportive these past few weeks, keeping things in perspective and far more confident than Adam was that he’d find a role before long. The last thing Kurt needed was to see Adam moping because of his unreasonable expectations.
All in all, things were going well for him. He was doing fine financially and he didn’t mind his jobs all that much. To be honest, he actually enjoyed tending bar as his natural accent made him popular with the customers and they tended to tip generously. He could keep on like this for some time, giving him the luxury of time to find work.
The apartment seemed dark and cold when he arrived, which was surprising. He’d lived on his own for two years now and was used to having the flat to himself. How is it that in such a brief amount of time that he would come to so genuinely miss the constant presence of the younger man? In just a few months simple attraction had transformed into a need that could not be appeased by any substitute. Kurt had become a vital center to his life in a way that Adam had never expected but now could not imagine having to do without.
To arrive home and know that Kurt would still be at school and that he wouldn’t see him until after midnight… he sighed, telling himself to stop moping.
He moved into the kitchen to consider dinner before he had to head out to the bar and saw his favorite tea mug sitting on the counter with a teabag in it, just ready for some boiling water. A plate of shortbread biscuits sat alongside a note written in Kurt’s neat handwriting. Adam smiled as he read the brief missive advising him to eat and have a good night at work and that Kurt would be waiting for him when he got home.
Adam knew how incredibly lucky he really was. He had some halfway decent prospects and something should come through for him. His play had been received probably as well as he could have reasonably expected and he had enough employment to keep a roof over his head and food on the table. And last but in no way least was that he had the most amazing man in his life.
Things would work out for him. He was sure of that. It would just be a matter of time.
* * *
Carman Tibideaux sighed to herself, knowing that she wouldn’t be leaving her office anytime soon. Even though they were in the relative early weeks of the semester, a remarkable amount of work was waiting for her to clear away. There were lesson plans to revise based upon what she was seeing in her classrooms that affected the long range planning for her students’ development. The freshman class was still in the process of showing what they were capable of, while her sophomores were growing by leaps and bounds.
It was not all good news. Two of those she had personally selected for that first class ended up not being able to keep up and failed enough classes to be expelled, and one promising singer found the demands of the curriculum too much to handle and transferred to a less demanding environment. It was a bit disappointing to see gifts that had seemed so promising fall short and provided a reminder that for all her experience and knowledge that she wasn’t infallible. She was as prone to making mistakes as anyone, a fact that she found humbling. She carried an incredible responsibility to this institution and its students to live up to, and that she needed to keep in mind at all times.
Second guessing her decisions was not her way, but she could see how her errors in judgment could have such long reaching impacts. It was to be expected that at least a few incoming students would find NYADA more than they were able to handle, but she had been hoping to defy that trend. But apparently she was as prone to making errors in judgement as anyone else.
Looking over the notes for two of her most promising students, she knew that she had made mistakes where both of them were concerned. Rejecting Kurt Hummel after his first audition had been a clear misjudgment on her part, as he had shown her from the start that he had the kind of gift that NYADA should nurture. But that initial rejection had revealed Mr. Hummel’s most valuable attributes to her. He proved his fortitude and strength and hunger to learn that she wondered would have been revealed quite so profoundly if he hadn’t had that struggle.
She’d found the exact opposite issue with Ms. Berry, she considered looking over the notes from their last session. She saw Ms. Berry’s gift and despite her failed audition, granted her admission over other promising applicants. She then compounded that error by giving her a place in the Winter Showcase that just exacerbated her sense of entitlement that nearly derailed Ms. Berry’s education completely.
Would she have seen that same strength in Mr. Hummel if she’d given him the admission that he’d originally deserved, or would the weaknesses that Ms. Berry revealed had she followed her initial instincts to reject her application? Would Ms. Berry had shown some hidden strength to overcome that momentary setback and not fallen prey to her own ego? Would Mr. Hummel have shown the same remarkable drive and growth?
She would never publically express the doubts she had in her own judgment or the sense of relief that if she had made errors that things were working out well in the end. Mr. Hummel was growing in leaps and bounds and was standing out at NYADA in all the ways that she could have hoped for, and Ms. Berry’s weaknesses were slowly being overcome and she was starting to find that she had more to offer than being just another cheap Streisand mimic. Both of them might truly become the performers that she hoped they would be despite her mistakes. That was a humbling and eye-opening thing to contemplate.
Well… enough with the navel gazing, she told herself firmly as she sipped at her afternoon tea. She would need to completely switch around her plans for the second level voice students to make the most of the developments she was seeing. Mr. Hummel, Ms. Berry, Ms. Khorey, Mr. Mclean… her students needed to be pressed and challenged a bit more. They were ready.
A knock on her door shook her from her musings and she looked up in surprise. “Who is it?” she demanded, a trifle annoyed at being startled.
“It’s me, Carmen,” a woman’s voice called from behind the door. “Do you have a minute?”
Madam Tibideaux smiled at the familiar voice. “Come on in, Alexa,” she invited.
The door opened and Alexa Carmody stepped in. “I don’t know why I’m surprised to see you here so late,” she said teasingly.
“Apparently I’m not the only one,” Madam Tibideaux chuckled. “I’ve got some hot water. Lady Grey all right?”
“Thanks,” the other teacher said thankfully, watching as the dean expertly prepared the cup the way that her friend liked it. “Mmmm… you’re going to have to tell me one day where you get your teas.”
“A lady needs to keep a few secrets,” Madam Tibideaux chuckled. “So what’s going on?”
Professor Carmody sat back in her chair and looked at the other woman appraisingly, as if wondering how what she wanted to say would be relieved. “It’s about this year’s spring musical. You know that the board wants to tie it in with the annual fund raising drive.”
Madam Tibideaux nodded, knowing that this was going to put extra pressure on her friend to turn out a world class production. “Have you decided what we’re doing this year?”
Professor Carmody nodded. “You’re going to think I’m insane,” she warned
Madam Tibideaux felt her eyebrow arch in surprise when her friend told her just which show she was considering. “That’s… ambitious,” she said carefully.
The other teacher nodded in agreement, looking a bit rueful. “Yes, it is,” she admitted. “But we really need to pull out all the stops. Especially after NYU’s production of South Pacific last year. We can’t rest on our reputation if we want NYADA to continue being known as the best conservatory in the country.”
Madam Tibideaux felt herself nodding in agreement. NYU had gotten some extremely positive write ups for their production, which had gained more notice than NYADA’s own spring musical. That apparently was grating on the members of NYADA’s Board of Directors. The pressure to surpass their rival institution would be intense.
“Well, I don’t envy what you’re going to be in for,” Madam Tibideaux said sympathetically. “Just the scale of the production is going to be daunting. Are you going to be able to get enough students to cast?”
“It’s going to be all hands on deck,” the other teacher granted. “All the seniors and juniors in the musical theater program are automatically guaranteed at least a soloist spot and we’re going to drag in every dramatics student that can carry a tune to help fill out the stage. And that’s something I wanted to discuss with you.
“I know that you have no objections to sophomores auditioning, but we’re really going to need as many of them as we can get to join the cast. If you can give your support to your students to try out, that would help us tremendously.”
Madam Tibideaux considered the request, her mouth frowning slightly. “That’s going to make a huge demand on their time,” she warned carefully. “I doubt that any of them will reject a chance to perform but they might find it too much to handle at this point in their education.”
“I think that participating in the production will be invaluable to a lot of them,” Professor Carmody argued back. “And most of them have pretty extensive performance credits already. This can be a good challenge for them. But I’ll respect what limits you think are appropriate.”
Madam Tibideaux nodded, considering her students. “Unfortunately there aren’t very many roles for the women and I’m assuming that they’ll go to seniors and junior, correct? Some of the boys might be ready for the smaller roles.”
“I have a few that I have in mind that I’m going to do my best to convince to try out,” Professor Carmody confided. “You’ve got some very talented prospects. And you can assure the girls that they might get soloist lines in the bigger numbers to make up for the fact that I can’t cast them in anything more than chorus. That might be enough of a consolation for them.”
Madam Tibideaux nodded, knowing that her friend was correct. As for a few students that readily came to mind, being in the chorus would be especially educational “You’re right… the opportunity will be a valuable learning experience. I’ll make the announcement at the next class.”
The other teacher smiled thankfully. “Thank you Carmen. This is going to be a huge help. I want this to be the kind of show that gets talked about for years.”
Madam Tibideaux chuckled, sipping at her tea. “Under your guidance, how can it be another but?”
* * *
Adam was grateful that the pub wasn’t so far from his flat so that getting home so late at night wasn’t as daunting. Their neighborhood was a relatively safe one and Adam had been living there long enough to know the quickest way to get to his building. And it was New York, after all. There were still plenty of people out late, even on a work night.
Climbing up the stairs, he was more than ready to just fall into bed. The routine was now familiar enough that he knew exactly what he’d find, and after closing the door behind him he saw that he had no reason to be disappointed.
Kurt was asleep in their bed, curled up on the far side by the window so that Adam wouldn’t need to climb over him. The younger man was bundled in their fall weather bedding, his hair mussed and mouth open a bit as his breath came out in little sighs. Adam paused, admiring the way the light peeking through their blinds highlighted the shine in his hair and gave Kurt’s skin a nearly ethereal glow. The shadows cast lines on developing muscles on the shoulder and arm that clutched a pillow to Kurt’s chest.
Smiling to himself, Adam went to the bathroom to quickly wash up and brush his teeth and changed into his sleep pants so that he could slide into bed. He settled in carefully, not wanting to wake his lover but there must have been some signal that moved Kurt on an instinctual level. No sooner had Adam slid beneath the sheets that Kurt shifted towards his warmth, making a small murmur of satisfaction.
Adam smiled tiredly, letting the younger man settle into his arms. “Good night, love,” he said softly.
Kurt grunted sleepily in response. “’Night Finn,” he murmured.
Adam lifted his head in surprise. “Finn?”
He thought that he could detect just the slightest trace of a smile on Kurt’s face in the shadows. “Sam?”
Adam couldn’t help from laughing. “No, not Sam.”
“Artie?”
“Now you’re just being ridiculous,” Adam accused, giving the younger man a playful poke in the ribs. Kurt giggled, his eyes sparkling as they opened.
“Is this something that I need to be concerned about?” Adam asked teasingly, pulling Kurt up against him. “You’ve been getting closer to Artie and Sam lately.”
“Not at all,” Kurt assured him, settling on top of Adam like a living blanket, He was enjoying the way Adam’s long legs parted a bit, giving him a comfortable space to settle into. They could enjoy the closeness and even fall asleep comfortably in this position, though Kurt was hoping that they wouldn’t be falling asleep just yet.
Adam ran his hand through Kurt’s hair, savoring the feeling of the soft strands as he trailed his fingers through. “You weren’t waiting up for me the whole time, were you?”
“No,” Kurt assured him, kissing his lover softly on the lips. “But I heard you coming in.”
“I’m sorry, love,” Adam said apologetically. “I was trying not to make any noise.”
Kurt’s fingers traced the line of Adam’s jaw, admiring the gentle strength in the Englishman’s features. Adam was truly a beautiful man and Kurt never got tired of studying his features. It had become his favorite hobby since their first meeting. He would never have expected them to be so well matched but here they were.
“It’s fine. I wanted to be up when you got home,” he insisted. “I thought that we could have a mini-celebration.”
Adam felt his weariness start to fade as Kurt’s intentions became clear. “Did we have something specific to be celebrating?” he asked suggestively, tightening his hold on the younger man.
“Well… your play is on its way to getting staged,” Kurt suggested.
Adam couldn’t help snorting. “At least a year from now,” he pointed out.
“Hush,” Kurt reprimanded playfully. “You’ve also been getting some amazing call backs, so you’re going to land a role sooner or later.”
“Hopefully sooner,” Adam mused, his hands starting to slide down Kurt’s back to grip his gorgeous ass.
“And we’re living together,” Kurt reminded him. “We get to sleep together every night in the same bed. So I think that we’ve got plenty to be celebrating.”
The older man’s eyes softened at his lover’s words. “You’re so very right, sweetheart. And I’ll be thankful for this every day of my life.”
Kurt leaned into Adam’s embrace, feeling so incredibly secure with the other man’s arms around him. He kissed Adam again, feeling things get a bit more heated and parts of their bodies expressing mutual interest in things progressing. Adam’s hands tightened on his ass, pulling him close and it was clear that they wouldn’t be getting sleep anytime soon.
At least he didn’t have to be up at the crack of dawn this morning.
* * *
If there was one thing that Kurt loved about living with Adam, besides the obvious, was the convenience of their apartment to school. At worst it was a quick trip by subway or bus, but he enjoyed the walk while the weather was still nice enough to do so. The half hour or so that the walk took him gave him a bit of fresh air and exercise, something always appreciated on days when he might be stuck in classrooms all day. It gave him the opportunity to think and clear his head. He could consider his performances and his studies from a fresh angle. The chance to decompress a bit before and after school was helping him significantly to handle the pressures of his studies.
He also was getting the opportunity to explore the larger area around his new neighborhood and finding all kinds of interesting shops and businesses. He’d found a street vendor with the freshest fruit salads and best smoothies, and a bakery that made the most amazing donuts for the days when he needed a sugar boost. There was a tiny coffee bar that always had the most intriguing smells coming out of it and a new ramen place that opened up a few weeks ago that was rapidly becoming a favorite of his.
He’d been in New York just about a year now and his world had been completely opened up. Back in Lima Kurt had fantasized about his future, with images of luxurious apartments he’d seen in magazines and performing in some spectacular show. He’d imagined in dining in world class restaurants, but he’d never really been able to picture what he was eating or how it would taste. He’d imagined Blaine at his side, the perfect partner to his career and aspirations.
He never thought that he would have a part time job at Vogue, working among world famous models and designers and have them know his name. He never thought that he would be working as hard as he was and loving it so much. And that he would be so happy living in a tiny shoebox of an apartment with a man who was Blaine’s opposite in every meaningful way.
He had friends who weren’t movers and shakers in the business, but who had come to mean so much to him. He went to bars and clubs where he stood out, but for the right reasons. He had teachers who could give the most hardened drill sergeants lessons in toughness and rather than being coddled and guided, he was being pushed and challenged and allowed to take absolutely nothing for granted. All of his certainties had been thrown into flux, but so had all of his fears.
He was capable of so much more than he had ever thought, and his dreams had opened up in a way that still staggered him. He was learning to let go of the future that he’d always imagined for himself because what he was on the path to accomplishing was so much more than his sheltered, limited imagination had been capable of foreseeing.
Spotting his best friend outside the main NYADA building, he knew that he wasn’t the only one in that position. Rachel had also had her mental images about what the future would hold for her shaken in a rather dramatic fashion and it nearly broke her. But she had found a fortitude that he had never seen her display before and had managed to grow in ways that he was delighted to see. She was still driven and competitive and he knew that there were times that he would be as much a rival as a friend in her eyes, but it was no longer to the point that he felt that their friendship couldn’t thrive. She’d learned to be more open and giving, both as a performer and a person.
Rachel spotted his approach and gave a wave to make sure that he saw her. “Good morning!” she said brightly. “I was just about to get a cup of coffee. Want something?”
He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek in greeting. “Have I ever turned down caffeine before?” he asked playfully.
The MUD coffee truck was in its usual spot on the corner, ready to provide students with the coffee drinks that they would need to survive their day and Rachel put in the orders for their usuals. “Nope, it’s on me today,” she insisted when Kurt got his wallet out and paid before he could protest. “Tips had been very good the past week.”
“Thanks,” he said gratefully, accepting the paper cup with his mochaccino and sipping appreciatively. The combination of chocolate with coffee provided just the kick that he needed to jumpstart his day.
“Late night?” Rachel asked teasingly, sticking a straw into her iced coffee.
“A bit. Adam got home late last night.”
“And of course you didn’t just go right to sleep,” she surmised playfully. “Not that I blame you, of course. But Madam Tibideux isn’t going to be pleased if you doze off in class.”
He nodded, falling into step at her side as they walked inside. “I won’t,” he promised. “In fact, I was thinking about what we’ve been working on and I wanted to try something new.”
“Well, I can’t wait to see it.”
Arriving at the voice studio, they greeted their friends and classmates as they took their seats, Kurt sitting between Rachel and Analisa. They chatted quietly about their latest assignment as they waited for their teacher to arrive. When Madam Tibideaux walked in, they immediately fell silent and granted their instructor their full attention.
The imperious teacher looked over her class, pleased to see everyone in their places and looking alert and ready to work. She smoothed the lay of her violet caftan and took her place at the front of the room.
“Good morning, everyone,” she greeted. “We have a lot to get through today, so let’s begin. “
Kurt settled in as another day at NYADA formally began.